YOU RUINED MY LIFE (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: YOU RUINED MY LIFE (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-07-05
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "YOU RUINED MY LIFE (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 66 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-05Slay the Spire 2

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66 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:04 i did the whole start of the video muted. i did two minutes and 12 seconds muted. okay, well, you know what you're getting at this point in your life, which is to say it's not like you missed anything of importance. let's be realistic. you didn't miss much. all i was saying is because of tyranny, which allows us to exhaust cards,
2:36 very easily. wait, i think i screwed this one up badly. we need to use a potion. because of tyranny, which exhausts cards, i thought we would benefit from cards that gain power when they get drawn a lot, like kingly punch and kingly kick. and i promise you, you can get jon boy on the lip sync. that's exactly what you're going to find. honestly, don't really like the idea of a stardust in this deck because we're not... i mean, if we're playing devastate, we're not worried about stardust.
3:10 we're using our stars to play the devastate instead. and then photon cut, draw one, fix one. i think that could be solid. so right now my theme for this deck, my theme for what i'm thinking about doing on this deck is thinness. i want to be rocking things that benefit from a thin deck. and there's
3:31 that's so annoying, man. there's some things actually benefit from being in a bigger deck and some benefit from being in a smaller deck. most benefit from being in a bigger deck for sure, but let's keep it thin here. we actually have to fight an elite before hitting a campfire. that's a little dangerous. it's nice to get that early damage out there though. fish oil could prove to be surprisingly helpful, man.
4:00 all we need is more stars than i can actually generate at one time. yeah, let's exhaust the ascenders, bane. keep our options open. i think i have to play this even though i also think that sucked really bad. let me see, man. patter? patter doesn't do that much for us, but it is a pretty good block for one. i guess we just go into the elite fight and like pray for the best, man. certainly we do need this.
4:33 and then i have to remind myself that the most important thing for us is having enough stars to play devastate, which i did not do. i definitely did not do. we need to draw. we're gonna draw. we didn't draw devastate, which means we could draw it next turn, which would be really nice for me.
4:54 if i could also get venerate, which i did, then you're gonna dump that, you're gonna do this. any chance i can get you to 75? i can't, which means i'm going to die. i hate my life! every card i play is misery! i hate this game! no, i love this game. that's why i hate it so much. to paraphrase cool ethan from the movie slackers. let's do, uh... i mean, i'm a stone humidifier girly, you know that about me.
5:25 max hp is very valuable. and then the left side... which side? strong side! you know what i'm saying? remember the titans? i think we want to hit those three campfires. maybe we rest, maybe we don't. the thing is, worst case scenario, you don't rest. and that means you get three upgrades instead, which is also really good.
5:52 i gotta think, are you doing a double attack next turn? no you're not. okay, so even though we took some damage, i think the order is right. although i don't... i can't kill... obviously i can kill you this turn. i don't know how to do basic arithmetic, bro. so you're taking a turn to debuff, which is great, because then if i draw two attacks, you're dead. listen, i literally have brain fog right now. i'm doing my best, okay? i think devastate was not the problem, man. we had other problems. let me count the freaking ways.
6:24 what's the secret? venerate, defend and devastate on the next turn. well, one out of three ain't bad. how about we draw a card as well? okay. so like you just you hate me, which is interesting. i suppose i could do i could do eight and then nine and then you'll be dead. we won't be able to play devastate next turn, but you should be yeah, you should be much more manageable on this turn. it does suck like it feels bad.
6:58 to use a potion and not solo the fight. we didn't take much damage but still. six vigor doesn't mean it's like adding a strike but if anything i think you take a cloak of stars but be very careful about playing it until we get more stars engines. another devastate man?
7:25 i mean that's just it's not playable. neither is astral pulse for that matter, but at least we can choose which one to play based on whether it's aoe or not aoe. or alternatively we'll never get enough stars because i'm always gonna play falling star instead. so we'll never have enough stars to play it. i need a shining strike or gather light. and you know those cards are good. at least in my head they're good because i actually remember the name of them, which is very rare. something that generates stars please.
7:57 cosmic indifference. i'm gonna pass on this for now. i'm getting scared, man. none of these card rewards have anything i need in them. you were a real crock of crap last time. give me this and then hopefully this gives me something. give me a colorless transform. you know what? sure, man. the end of my turn, transform a card in my hand. i don't know! i don't know, okay? transform this. that seemed really good, actually. that seemed mighty nice. transform.
8:37 one of those at the start of your turn gain two stars. okay, that seems awesome it seems like you're being very nice to me right now and i greatly appreciate that it feels like this potion might have saved my life pale blue dot if you play five or more cards in a turn i'll level with you. that's not gonna happen but i need to save my stars to play a devastate anyway bundle of joy play that two energy left. i mean just do the smart thing take a little bit of damage and then are we gonna exhaust?
9:13 i don't think we're going to exhaust. i think we're going to exhaust. i didn't have any, i just wanted to click cards. i wanted to have triggers essentially, just for sport. supermassive 29 damage, huge. okay, so all we need, pardon me. all we need to do is get cards in the deck that are not from our deck. and then it turns out that that gets a lot better when we play the cards that are not in our deck. so if we could just transform every card in our deck, obviously we would be rolling right now. venerate. i mean, you gotta get in there, man.
9:53 you're obviously going to be a huge problem as well. yeah, i agree. it was a bold decision to take a bunch of cards that required stars before getting the things that give you stars. but my reasoning, if i may be a little bit entitled to be fair, because we're dead already, my reasoning was that most of the things that generate stars are commons, and most of the things that use stars, at least the ones that we took, were on commons. so they should be substantially more likely to get the things that generate stars than the things that consume stars.
10:28 okay, you don't lose with silver crucible. it's that simple. we might even be able to fight an elite and get an upgraded card reward as a result. okay, don't overthink things, nephew. when they're vulnerable, attack them. blow your nose so people stop asking you to blow your nose because you're very clearly congested. give me a moment, please. always try to check to make sure that you're not muted at the start of the video so you don't spend two minutes just speaking into the abyss.
11:04 do the math to see if you can actually lethal an enemy. now we're freaking talking. you still take an astral pulse. but then the shop gives you something that generates stars. for example, a shining strike, which is uncommon. so clearly i have no idea what i'm talking about. you know what, buddy? give me a forgotten card. i really thought it would be upgraded by default. i thought it would be because it's one of the first three card rewards. but i guess technically that's why they use that verbiage. that makes sense to me. you know what?
11:40 let's go sicko mode. let's play the outmaneuver, man. am i insane also? or does it seem like it's outmaneuver like every single time? i feel like the only card you can get in that event is outmaneuver unless i'm way off base. but this actually doesn't feel too bad. also feel like gather light is really good here. and then aoe enemies maybe? oh this... this in front of a car wash type fella right here. i don't like ya! give me some more stars.
12:17 give me even more stars. i'll level with you, i think this is just gonna kinda suck. we don't have anything that really like blows him out of the water. uh, yeah, what we should do is probably play enough cards that it uses up all our available energy. but you probably already knew that if i had to guess. wait, i could maybe do 20 damage to you on this turn. i could easily do 20 damage to you on this turn. they made you easier, that's great. give me a convergence. being able to hold an astral pulse until a more relevant turn.
12:56 makes a lot of sense to me. i mean that's it just has to be played. and then let's put you in one strike range next time so a single defend gets over the thorns that you would hit me with. honestly, one attack. one attack finishes the job. don't overthink it. really good fight. terraforming does work with what we got going on with astral pulse.
13:29 it does kind of work with what we got going on with astrill, but you'd want to have like an x attack i think to make it work. i think i'll just add another gather light for now. and then... are we still... we need to fight elites. i'm gonna try to fight two elites on this floor to try to get closer to having some strength. we'll build in the vigor ourselves by fighting the elites. okay, right. you don't get anything there. scammed.
13:59 black hole seems like what we're trying to build to and obviously dying star is just really good as well i kind of wanted the the festive poppers as well and don't take that out of context. we retain our hand i think we got some synergy cooking up here i actually think this is i and you can tell because i'm talking in a more reserved register right now i actually think we got a we got a pretty good game plan going on. we're taking no damage gaining a bunch of stars and
14:31 i always, i get so excited. i'm like, we're beating the bricks off this elite. and then i realized that he's not an elite at all, but so be it. you're doing no damage. great situation for venerate. that's a certified venerate moment. and then you're done, lad. two black holes. feels like it might be a little awesome. and then this is where we, i love that it's aoe, don't get me wrong. and i love that we get that early dying star. holy cow.
15:03 they're doing none. we're gaining a bunch. we should gain more. and then to get like an astral pulse right away would be sweet as well. we didn't, but two black holes and then that does damage to everybody. just put up a little bit of block. like in theory when we spend stars we should be able to do passive damage so you got to be careful about like which one you want to attack.
15:38 like this kills you, which is awesome. and then wait, you guys are almost all dead. in fact, you're all dead. that was a really easy fight. oracalcum is awesome too. you can't, i love the other option available there, which i've now forgotten the name of, even though i just saw it two seconds ago, but you can't not take big bang. they were the biggest band in k pop for years, for years. and then, well, we don't need to get into it, but let's see. we definitely want this. always want to reduce the damage.
16:17 always want to kill all of the enemies that are on the screen. okay, that was not as complicated as i thought it would be. i think we love another gather, lightman, because it's also basically aoe damage. and then this fella again. okay. i'm not sweating it. i'm not sweating it as much anyway. big bang was really supposed to draw into a black hole or any block would also be swell. but alas, let's get extra energy.
16:55 black hole, very important. falling star, shining strike, takes you to 76. horrific result there, but actually gives us a chance to beat the bricks off you a little bit here. what do you play? probably just your cards that do damage, instead of putting up block to do damage via the stars. okay? love it. love it. love it. you're dead next turn, bro! wait, we're awesome! our run is awesome!
17:29 kusarugama. i don't know if we play that many attacks, but... and i think that's a pass. 22 great cards. let's rest, because we may need some extra hp to get through this. and then we know, oh, you got new art, man. you're looking good. we retain our hand next turn, but this is damage and this is stars. so i think you can send both of those out there instead of just having way too many options next turn. let's take some of our options away.
18:05 and then i think we gotta start talking about this. you need some block. taking zero damage is op. extra energy for next turn. i'd like to get all on you real quick though. you know what would really help out in the getting on you process? either of our powers, which are essentially like our wind condition. yeah, there they are. just in time. and to me, this looks like a sovereign blade, man. just get it out of there. right now i feel like this is going a little too slow.
18:42 not that we're going to die, but... oh, venerate is literally better than strike. it's the same amount of damage, but you get the extra stars. don't kill me on this one. i mean, we're gonna have to put up a big block already, but don't freaking kill me on this one. see, that's the kind of turn i was hoping for. we still gotta find a way to survive your explosion, though. i don't think we're gonna do it, man. unless maybe i could weaken you.
19:20 on the turn in which you explode. you're gonna heal a little for 15. we can weaken you on this turn, which means we can't weaken you on the next turn. we've already played our retain. i don't know. i don't know. i need to find a way to put up 15 block. i can put up 13 block. are you trolling me, bro? are you trolling? are you trolling?
19:51 because this run is so good! now i'm like, oh one little flap of a butterfly's wings with the kusarigama could have changed everything on that one. let's go crazy. let's get high risk. neutron aegis. i don't even know what to do with that. i have no concept of what to do with that. i have a little concept of what to do with this. stardust is also really good. maybe actually i overthought the neutron aegis. we don't really need the neutron aegis as much.
20:28 as we need the stardust to inform our deck building capacity. because now all we have to do is build into stars, man. i mean, to be honest, i'll add one collision course just to have another attack. i'd rather have something that gave us some stars, but is what it is. and i'll level with you, that might have been a situation where it would have made more sense to actually just have the gold.
20:56 that doesn't feel like that was the right turn order there. and then i misclicked and slayed the spire! i played a debris because it occupied the space in my hand i was looking for. devastating news. anyway, we're chill. more stars, yes. things that generate stars. gather light i think is better than solar strike. and you can take that to the bank. the blood bank, senator trent.
21:31 now we are freaking talking. that's a turn, bro. we still have three stars for a 15 damage stardust or a none damage nothing is also an option, i suppose. shining strike. we do want it. we got to be more careful with how we play it because you draw it every single turn as a result. but ok, would i like to upgrade a random card? yes, i would strike it. hit it. no, you can't give up. but give them one more and then get the heck out of there. let's get a little rich from my blood.
22:10 definitely neutron aegis. this feels like the right fight for neutron aegis, man. yes, yes. you know what i'm thinking is like if you use this, we won't have the energy to play neutron aegis, but
22:34 we're not taking damage anyway. that's 30 extra damage. it probably would have been better just to draw it on the next round. i was hoping to play neutron aegis, but i guess now that i think about it, it's better to not slow down the fight. oh, and kunai. now we're talking. royal gamble could help us out a lot. i'm going all in on the elites, man. huge neutron aegis to cut the lead to negative one. obviously, we need this to have retain, but at the same time, i'm like not going to invest
23:10 any resources into upgrading it at a campfire, so it's a very sort of confusing circumstance we find ourselves in. whatever. basically, we played a block at the end there. i don't mind that. and of course, you already know that we're gonna be using a fire potion here. i think we need more stars. i think that's okay. now, no potions on you is ticking me off, but... oh, but then a royal gamble and we're freaking rich! we want to set up a beautiful stardust. and we even got a kunai out of the bargain.
23:54 7 damage times 9 is well worth playing, i think. knowing that, yeah, it's gonna suck a little bit here, but that's nice. that takes you close to death. we're taking a small hit, but next time we get shining... this went well! this is literally going well! gorgay? i could live with it for sure, man. i could live with it. when you spend stars, gain 2 block for each star spent. i'm willing to give it a try, man. i'm willing to give it a try. start with one extra dex.
24:27 things you love to see. would i rather have two shops and an elite? i think i'd rather have a campfire just to be safe. surely, surely, surely i could kill one of you. huge. and we only take eight. i mean, just having some plating by default is really nice, to be honest. i think we just simmer on this one, aka play nothing, in the hopes of playing like a royal gamble on a subsequent turn. i was kind of hoping it'd be this one, but...
25:13 10 block from playing royal gamble is kind of swag as well. we definitely have to rest. i honestly thought this fight would go a lot better than it did. another royal gamble? transform a starter into peck. when you draw this card, randomize its cost. not good for us. turn a card into tauric toughness. i do like tauric toughness.
25:46 peck costs one, right? still costs one. we're not really built for vigor. i do like toric toughness, man. also, what about like making a one cost card that kind of sucks slither? so if you draw it and it costs two or more, you just say, okay, it sucks anyway. but if you draw it and it costs zero, you're like free card. i think it's a little too galaxy brain to be honest. please tell me i didn't transform the upgraded one, okay.
26:19 my favorite bloodborne boss, the upgraded one. eww. eww. i don't know how to feel about you. i've got kind of like a defensive deck. this is nice though, because you can venerate into a royal gamble, into a shining strike, and now we got 60 damage on the freaking field? would have been better to play like the venerate last, but still.
26:53 because then we would have had two oh no, it carried over a little bit! that's awesome! it carried over! i can live with that, man! we can actually kill one, which is nice. we're gonna take 12 damage, but it's a lot like the sentinels fight from slay the spire 1, like we're we're working them a little bit. how much you're doing? 9 damage? and i have how much? none block. none block, i'm learning. i could get 8 block.
27:32 and then i would have much less to deal with on the next turn. wait, i think that might be the move. as insane as it sounds, i suppose i could have done this and also just killed you instead of killing you, but at least now instead of like two and one, i've got one and one. maybe there is a method to the freaking madness, bro. and i'm still acting as if i have no block available, which is not the way we should be playing this, of course, but
28:10 and then no defense. oh, we have the block, bro! you have the plating! get out of there, covid 26! we're better than this, man. okay, we did really well on elites on this floor, though. and what would we bring back with a cosmic indifference, man? probably not a stardust. we like drawing stardust late because it's, uh, we have time to accrue more stars, i think. my hypothesis, at least. i will try this, sonya.
28:51 and you know what? that's still pretty darn good. it's a pretty darn good turn one, i'd say. compensated for by a fairly awful turn two, but at least we're not taking any damage. but wait, here's turn three and we actually managed to make something happen there thanks to sparkling rouge, which i appreciate. it's gotta be genesis, and we ain't talking phil collins. very expensive to play, but seems like it could be very important. can i gain two stars, please?
29:26 12 block forge 10, add 3 random colorless cards. i mean, i think i gotta try this man. panache? not feeling like awesome about the setup we got here. i guess over time golden axe will be nice to have out there but we need more stars. not the best turn for us. but it's all in the service of eventually getting a killer stardust man. i think we're gonna die again.
30:08 i've lost all confidence in myself. we are at 9 stars. let's go in on you, gain some block. it's much less bad than it looks. we're taking 0, fantastic. we have 12 stars. we have much more than 12 stars. if you'll hear me out on this one, let's start like this. huge. and then we at least have 1 star with which to start on the next turn. and you're gonna give me 2 more, which then allows me to play a royal gamble.
30:50 golden axe does 20, we're taking 2. i'd really rather just build up a decent amount of block and then hit you for like 45 or whatever. and then stardust is gonna take a while to whip around again. we're gonna be able to generate plenty of stars by the time that happens. wait, maybe this isn't bad. maybe we're not gonna lose. maybe this run's actually awesome and it's only gonna get better once we get two more elites killed.
31:14 which of course is destined to happen. why am i playing with you every time you spend... you don't need to, you're getting enough passive block. i need to get it through my head. we don't need to play as much active block as i'm used to. we're getting so much passive block. you're done, lad. okay, that went really well. despite playing, like, piloting the deck very poorly. i think you still need big bang, even though also, like, genesis... oh, but you can get such crazy stardust, man. you have to give it a chance.
31:53 i literally have two strikes in the deck, man. i don't care. i think it's got to be brightest flame this time. and then we want to find a relatively good path with two elites. and i think this right side, like middle to right side path works well. we have some plating. this gets, we already get a stun. nah, man. take as little damage as possible. should have generated some stars, bro. should have generated some freaking stars. it's in god's hands now. well.
32:46 he's let us down yet again, hasn't he? wouldn't be the first time. went bald when i was 19 or whatever. been so long ago i've now spent more time, almost more time bald than i spent with hair in the first place, which is crazy for a 37 year old man to be saying that, but it's true. most people my age are just starting to worry about their hairline. meanwhile, my hairline abandoned me along when you were in like the freshman year of college. yeah, yeah, yeah. no, no, no, no, it's fine. no, i'm feeling okay.
33:26 i'm feeling okay, don't worry about me. this fight obviously went horrendously, but as long as we can rest before an elite fight, we literally do not care. and also this is the payoff at the end. gamma blast. i think we don't, because we want to put all of our, we want to spec everything into stardust. when you create a card gain two block, when you gain gold, raise your max hp. literally need to get this to compensate for brightest flame and then cut a basic strike, keep the defense pumping, take another flex potion.
34:05 give me a random doll, man. don't be the okay, whenever you play an attack gain a block. thank you for not being the one that adds two copies of a card to the deck. which you're now gonna tell me is good. and i'm gonna have to tell you to shut up. gain one? we need more than one. that's all right, we didn't even need to play this now that i think about it, cuz. we get this, and then that, and then royal gamble goes crazy, and then royal gamble goes crazy, and then a falling star to keep you honest, and then even more, bro. even more.
34:40 we had plenty of block. we didn't need to use our potion, but i have it on good authority these guys are going to give me a potion anyway, so i'm not going to sweat it. taking one damage. not a big loss in the slightest. and you're going to give me stardust this turn, of course. there it is. i have to imagine we just want to get as many plays on this as we can. i chill on this. why is there so much space here? why did you leave so much space here? you're joking, right?
35:23 everybody's joking now! snap back to reality! oh, there goes gravity! there's no m'kai pfeiffer! you know what i'm talking about? you better hope you do. honestly, we need this and this, so that's a real problem. so instead we're gonna take this, and then this, and we're not gonna have enough stars, bro! you need to generate more stars so your stardust is actually potent whenever you draw it.
35:55 which is immediately. and we're gonna use it right away. we're gonna take the flex potion. we're gonna smack you. take some of this, take some of this, take some of this. then you gotta go in on stardust and you use the strike to clean up a little bit of trash if there is any. order. i'll say it so you don't have to. another stardust would still go crazy. that's sure, man. all we needed to do was hit twice out of 17 plays. yeah, i was hoping it would get there.
36:33 we don't need another shining strike. now please don't be combat. no combat. enchant an attack with corrupted. i would happily make stardust corrupted considering how much damage it does. we don't play it that often. when we play it the fight is essentially over. i hope. okay, they really want this run to be the silent. i'm gonna try these two elites in quick succession which i might regret but
37:03 huge. neutron aegis. gather light. can't even play hidden cache, but that's okay. we got a stun. like it. love it. gotta have it. i don't think you play this this time. it's 15 damage spread out amongst three enemies, which just seems to me not to be that viable. but this...
37:36 well i was gonna say it seemed viable then i realized we had like no payoffs for it at all. i thought we played uh the one that gave us yeah child of the stars, i thought we'd played child of the stars man. scammed? we're not dead right? i'm not doing the math i'm just assuming. oh yeah we live and in in many ways we're kind of like stronger than ever. now you gotta play it. strength potion is good
38:15 i mean, we have to fight an elite after this. let's just hope the sequencing is good on this fight and maybe we got a chance, man. not you! oh, anybody but you. six block gives three tainted? i guess it's worth, but... okay, we need obviously a huge stardust. we need child of the stars. we need falling star. we need shining strike. we don't want to play a defend? we don't want to play a defend. we don't want to play a venerate either, unfortunately.
38:56 18 damage. okay, hear me out. you need the plating. and if you need the plating, then you can stall until the next time you get stardust, which hopefully we won't be dead by the time that happens. this turn. it's this turn. this turn i sleep. 17. okay. not great, but i'm not dead. this helps us out on the next turn. not literally not going to play that. pass the turn, draw stardust. we drew it.
39:46 so now i just have to kill you. and we did it. we freaking did it. 23 stars times 10 kills you. we actually made it through. i have a hard time believing knockout blow is gonna work here. i think cloak of stars for one star is a sacrifice i'm willing to make. horny type enemy. i'd lose a max hp at this point. i mean, that's... what is a max hp worth to us? okay. i'm gonna make tauric toughness free.
40:27 and choose not to do the math and realize that i'm already dead. honestly, i thought we had a pretty good effort there at the end. but for now, thanks for watching. i hope you've enjoyed it. if you did click the like button. i'm still great. it's a hard game, man. that's why they call it slay the spire, not sleep the spire. thanks for watching. thanks for your support. i'll see you next time. later.