We'll forge as two kings (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: We'll forge as two kings (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-07-10
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "We'll forge as two kings (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 51 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-10Slay the Spire 2

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51 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 guys, the vest doesn't work. by the way, if you're watching this on youtube... aw shit, i still have the mod installed. if you're watching this on youtube, i'm feeding the youtube frogs right now, as we say on twitch. so you should say, thank you, thank you, mr. yummy. wait, i guess it doesn't even matter. i'll just crank up my ascension as high as it'll go, because everything's unlocked anyway. remember, my vest does not work. i still need to do some calibration on my vest.
0:32 there we go. everything should be fine here. can we be fed balatro sometime? bro, when locothunk finishes the dlc and then removes themselves from the internet and you never hear from them ever again, i will absolutely play... by the way, i realize if you take this in the wrong way, it sounds like i'm asking... i'm like, i'll play if locothunk erases themselves from the history books. that's not what i'm saying.
1:02 what i'm saying is, i think that you will never hear from locothunk again after the dlc comes out because balatro made like, i don't know, like $200 million on the pc and the phone. and then like the dlc is gonna come out and that's gonna be like, don't ask me for anything ever again, i'm gone. and i'm honestly, i'm very envious of that. but yeah, i mean, i'm not just gonna go back to play balatro just to play balatro, but when new balatro content comes out, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:34 you know what? this is literally just interesting, man. two card rewards from other characters. if you generate one orb, you get an orb, right? i don't think that's necessarily enough for us to justify this, but block and a shiv... i'm just trying to think what the possible payoffs could be here. now, capture spirit is mighty interesting. in flame actually is also interesting because
2:11 you do have lots of like multi hit attacks as the regent. oh, you're right! create a card effects on the regent are also really good and three per is kind of crazy. okay, i respect that. now i'm not fully committed to card creation but i will say cloak that moves the needle enough for cloak and dagger because you're generating the one shiv. the one shiv off of it so...
2:42 let's give it a chance. and then of course, as is tradition, let's draw none of our cool new cards and just draw strikes in defense. but that's just the way it is. da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
3:14 shiv's do 8 damage in slay the spire 2. i've been playing so much slay the spire 1. i lost to the first boss on ascension 20 on my bike ride today. no, they do 4 damage. why was i doing... did it not... am i... did i just read it wrong? did i not even do any math here to figure out if i was going to be able to kill this guy? whenever you spend, there gains not. it's got to be... 1 astral pulse is nice. remove a card at a guilty or procure a potion. i'll remove a card and add a guilty. do me a favor and cut a strike.
3:55 need some aoe, etc, etc. we know these names better than we know our own grandparents. dagger spray, what the hell is this? that's what i want to see right there. dagger spray, all out attack, corpse explosion. i've been getting a recurring dining ad from the kingston tourism board and i'm blaming you? bro, i mean, what do they have in the ad though is what i want to know. there's some great restaurants in kingston, man.
4:32 absol i mean, i don't think anybody is gonna be well actually i think people from toronto would be like really surprised by that but it's a dining town, man. absolutely. card from your discard pile. where do the souls go when we create them? into the draw pile. okay. i mean, honestly, 10 damage in a draw. can't be too upset about that early. stop there on the way back from the cottage. it's nice. it's it's a great town, man. this is... this is a tricky one.
5:13 i didn't have as much as i wanted here. now there's some cards that i like, don't get me wrong, but it's hard to beat cutting like one of your four remaining strikes. that's removing like 25% of the strikes from your freaking deck dude. this is a tough one. i hate this guy. we're definitely going to play that and the question is are we going to play this?
5:47 i got you confused with the guy who takes more damage if we play our attacks later. it does 12 damage. i feel like we do better saving our stars to play a falling star. don't need that as much. you need this and this. and now, now we're cooking a little bit. as long as we don't die, we're cooking. the cookery. every single person needs my enemy.
6:31 i live for one more turn. in a manner of speaking. venerate would go kind of crazy here. oh, now we got it and i have to do math. no, no, no. okay, let's see. venerate takes us to three. yeah, we get a kill off of venerate then because we have one extra strength so the shiv gets there. huge. bag of prep. love it. okay, card creation. although this is all right with sparkling rouge, but we kind of desperately need some
7:15 we need some more star generation, man. every single person wants rotisserie. you need to pay the price. i feel like this deck kind of sucks, man. not that that's necessarily that unusual for us, but... need that. i need that so i can make sure that i draw all the infections that they're going to add to my deck.
8:02 i genuinely just feel like you saved the stars, man. as crazy as it sounds, you saved the stars because you need to play astral pulse once this guy goes aoe mode. hate to do it. gotta do it. can't quasar, man. can't quasar. can't not quasar, though. can't quasar. can't be done. your deck has the star generation potential of season 12 of american idol. i feel like... so i stopped watching american idol in season 3?
8:54 i'm trying to, season three was the one that was won by fantasia barrino, right? so i definitely watched season one and i still think justin guarini was robbed. no offense to kelly, of course. two was ruben studdard. i remember that, of course, so, so vividly. three fantasia, i don't remember much about season three, man. i remember season one of canadian idol. season one of canadian idol was a summer to remember, man.
9:28 astral pulse? no astral pulse! they just want me to eat dirt and die? the problem is if i don't get venerate on the next turn, i can't even play my astral pulse. so are we gonna really play a quasar to try to get something? i don't think we are, man. i went to school with the chick who won canadian idol, melissa o'neill. okay, listen, lots of people have won canadian idol, okay? you said it like only one person in history has ever won canadian idol, and that's just simply not true.
10:04 i'm not even doing the math. do i live? no, i'm dead. ryan malcolm from amherstview, ontario won the first season. i know that because i lived adjacent to amherstview, ontario. so it was like huge news here. i even got an i voted for ryan malcolm t shirt at value village once. and i honestly, it fit. it fit really well. it fit really well. so i was wearing it for a while. mostly, i mean, i was like 17 when i got it. so it was mostly ironic, but
10:44 also, my parents wouldn't let me call the number and vote for ryan because it costs like 50 cents every time you voted or something like that. no shot bro. it's just not gonna happen. it costs money? yeah man, it costs money. participating charges may apply. i had no idea. i need a video essay to tell me if that was like the real way that american idol made all their money.
11:26 because i genuinely think it's possible that actually like the show was not it was making some money off advertisements and record sales obviously but bro maybe it was actually just selling texts maybe the texts were actually jac because you think about it it was 50 cents a vote and there were like 2 million votes a week i mean that's a million dollars man that's a lot of money it's a lot of money he made a million dollars give me more stars
12:08 people were signing up for phone plans to vote? bro, they were buying ringtones. this shit was no fucking joke. if you were there... well, if you remember it, you weren't really there. let's put it that way. refined blade might be peak. okay, i don't know. blade builds can work, man. but you don't just need blade builds. you also... oh, an exact change? you need a little something extra.
12:40 have we discussed the 2010's peter pan movie yet? no, because i was too smart to see it. sorry. it's not like, i mean, the only reason i could really imagine that you would watch the 2010's peter pan movie is if you were like 14 when it came out, which is in which case is not really your fault. that's just what kids do. go left. give me a colorless card reward. there's payoffs for that in the revenant. take a good blocker. i paid two bucks to get the in like flint ringtone on minokia. are you austin powers?
13:29 all i know about in like flint is that it's a spy caper and it's also austin powers' favorite movie. he goes, in like flint, that's my favorite movie! and then vanessa as a fembot. why don't i get you some more champagne, lover boy? why don't i get us some more champagne, lover boy? uh, okay. classic, man. you know what? i think we want to dive in the water.
14:12 maybe remove another strike. remove a card out of guilty. would gladly. i'm not gonna have enough money to remove a strike unless i fight an elite, but i'm not gonna fight an elite. it's not gonna happen, man. better block, better forge. i mean, you upgrade your own commons first, man. and then what have you got here? manifest authority could be a little swag. i love this though. that basically is like a free elite.
14:51 it's gotta be the aerobic acid, man. why do you remove so many cards, act 1? it's literally the best time to remove cards. because it means more because you have less cards in your deck. it's that simple. you know what? i trust the catastrophe here. never punish, bro. now, our only attack is basically sovereign blade.
15:38 i'm not sure that's bad, man. i'm not sure. you know what? an orbit? an orbit could hit the spot. you're not wrong. now this is what it's all about. aerobic acid. i am invincible. why not? forge it. you got the vantax, though? oh shit, i fucking do have the vantax, motherfucker. you have to try this. it worked out really well, honestly. worked out really fucking well.
16:24 it's coming back around fast enough. ooh, kisaragama! what did i tell you? free elite, bro. i don't give a fuck about glitterstream. i think it's a scam. i don't give a fuck about stream. wait, that'd be like james blake if he was quiet quitting. i don't give a fuck about streaming anymore. all that i know is i'm poggin', poggin', poggin'. might as well poggin'.
17:08 guy who knows one james blake song. reference it, references it, references it. that sounds right. once every two months maybe on average. you're kind of just like full of shit. you're not really like that big of a deal. literally, literally we just go in on you. the fogmog i never noticed man. don't really think we need another
18:03 another refined blade. i think the refined blades are... we want to keep them in a good equilibrium. i think i'm content with where i stand, man. need a multi hitter for vantum? yeah, i can't really disagree with that. can't really disagree with that. we have literally one blocker. whatever, we're gonna rest anyway. is what it is. hm hm. poshami? i think this, we gotta save this for vantum. to thine own self be motherfucking true, man. okay, you're cooked.
18:53 you might get cooked if i can get sovereign blade back with a little bit of forging attached. that's not gonna happen. shao didi. this already does 39 damage. okay, the blade is going crazy. 4 damage for every skill already played this turn. i mean, at least it is a multi hitter. there's something to it. sovereign blade with mama regent's forge blade oil.
19:30 yes, dude. yeah, that's yeah. yeah, that's what it's all about. that's absolutely what it's all about. no lunar blade. you're fucking pissing me off, man. but i have to hit you. let's hit you, hit you and get some energy back. i think you just want to do it this way. we need to have a big skill turn to get this slipperiness taken care of. honestly, i can play two skills or i could wait till the next turn.
20:19 i think the play is going to be wait till the next turn. i literally will send a sovereign blade out there. we're not doing anything with the energy. wait till the next turn and pray for a lot of skills. one, two, three, four. it's four times. pretty good. you'll shuffle out lunar blast. i have retain, buddy. try to keep up. also, whoever said... huge.
21:01 whoever said take lunar blast you or whoever said you need a multi hit attack. you may have legitimately saved my run i owe you a debt of gratitude. wait, i like that i was looking for a card and then i found the card but there's one thing morrissey was morrissey's only been wrong about one thing and that was i'm not miserable now. i'm actually feeling pretty good i'm actually feeling pretty good cuz you're fucking dead, bro. i
21:35 that was actually really good. we didn't even need the rest, which is crazy. you need... the only thing that matters here is void form. yeah, it's gonna be... that's an awfully hot cocoa pot. will you ever play 868 back? what is that? a song by jimmy tamburello? i have to type my love with numbers into my cell phone. any real ones here know what the fuck i'm talking about? just so they can spell love, but i usually don't. no?
22:16 you guys, you weren't fucking with the jimmy tamburello album that came out in 2006? with the ambulance on the cover? surprising. that's very surprising for me. i was eight? alright. well, you probably listened to some shit that came out like before you were born. who the fuck is jimmy tamburello? i mean, that's just... that's just offensive to me. he's the other half of the postal service. he's the non ben gibbard half of the postal service, bro. i mean, if this doesn't kill you, let's play voidform then.
23:07 he does okay, i'll give you that he sounds like tony soprano's friend. i will also give you that he sounds like the younger brother from the adventures of pete and pete. 7 damage, forge 7. i snooze. pete and pete reference. you're smiling strange! we'll just refine on this. 26 fucking damage? how about you get a motherfucking life? oh wait, you can't. because you're basically you're pretty much dead. yeah, you're cooked, lad.
24:12 i would rather have radiant tincture. ooh, i love a pre upgraded gather light, man. don't post bait in my chat, okay? someone said, didn't that ceo get caught cheating on his wife at a postal service concert? okay, you are trying to bait me into crashing out because you're comparing coldplay to the postal service.
24:37 what i'm actually gonna crash out about is that i don't fuck with coldplay at all. i think it's crazy that british people will actually be like, did you get tickets for the co did you get tickets for coldplay at wembley? i fucking heard them talking about it when i was in england, okay? regardless,
24:56 as much as i don't really give a fuck about coldplay, it's not their fault. it's not their fault that shit went down at their concert. it's not like chris martin got up on stage and said, it's a great song for those of you who are cheating on your wives, mate! like he didn't get up there and do that. he was just playing something that probably went like, ooh, ah. he was doing something like that. scientist is pretty good. great, so they've got one song you like.
25:29 they've been making music for 35 years. let's pretend this band matters. ridiculous. well, we play void form, man. you're gonna hit me, you might as well hit me. you just designed the postal service? the postal service has one good album. different story. shout, dee dee. different fucking story. and i'm not even fucking with the same songs that you're fucking with off give up. well, i don't know. how do you feel about the district sleeps alone tonight? that's a fucking banger, man. that's a song that'll blow your fucking hair back.
26:17 my 2010s nostalgia streamers hating on coldplay it's over? you have me confused with another motherfucker exactly 7 years younger than me? i consistently glaze 2000 to 2008.
26:31 that's my nostalgia window. have you ever heard me out here being like, man, we need to get back to fun needs to make we are young 2. have you ever heard me say some stupid shit like that? no, bro. i'm saying, where the fuck is david o. russell? what happened after i heart huckabees ended? we need to figure out what happened after we need an i heart huckabees 2 on apple tv. i'm saying shit like that, man. you got me fucked up and painless, man. okay, first off,
27:13 it killed. you're gonna hate seeing the sovereign blade come around. you're in a lot of trouble, buddy. you're in a lot of trouble. streamers love making up people in chat to make fun of. no, they don't! do you watch other streams, bro? they're mostly out here saying, thanks for the gift subs. you got me confused with some other guy. now here's an interesting point, bro. choose two cards in your draw pile to transform into minion dive bombs.
27:57 i don't think it has to be done. i think i'm pretty content with my deck as it stands. i only watch slime. okay, you literally your high elo twitch. that's a good choice. i would love to... i mean, listen, a lot of power in this card right here. i love starting with 10 block, man. it's really hard to make me not excited about getting 10 block. forge 5, draw 2. you know what? i think we do need some draw as well.
28:38 we have lots of energy, but sometimes we stall out because we don't have enough draw. these guys are like a living nightmare for us. but fuck it, we got a lot of energy. that'll be done. don't say fuck you, dldlguiga. literally, dldlguiga was back. well, we got an opinion. dldlguiga was back on friday. they were talking shit about the haptic vest, i think. it's this. it's this. this literally already works. send it in there. get a void form out there.
29:43 you only do 8 damage. i need something that does 9 damage. annoying. kusarigama though. there is kusarigama. i really don't want to take 1 damage, man. against these fools. great turn though. 2 more energy. and then 2 more energy. and then this hits 5 times. well, one of you has to die. little bit of an overkill. let's not waste our orbit this turn.
30:59 that's on kaistenat returning to streamer, streaming after a hiatus. i was watching with the half a million people that were watching and i was like, fuck it, why didn't any of my fucking chatters tell me to apply to streamer university bro? they fucking hate me. kingly kick is kind of interesting here. we literally did? yeah, but i didn't know the deadline was like probably a month ago. it would have been so nice man. you should be teaching the classes.
31:42 i mean education's a two way street bro. i could audit a couple of classes and and kibitz a little bit. odds that i end up if i was a professor at streamer university odds i end up getting my shit beaten off in some kind of viral video where the the students swarm me with socks full of nickels because they just they've they've had enough of whatever the fuck i'm saying so they just start beating the shit out of me while somebody at the classroom at the back films
32:18 you meant beaten up, not beaten off? i said have my shit beaten off, okay? the language the english language is full of intricacy. if you are getting beaten off, you're you're getting jerked off. if you're getting beaten up, your shit's getting rocked. but if your shit is getting beaten off, in context, you're getting your ass beat so hard that parts of your body are falling off. some of your skin is falling off or your jeans are getting ripped or something like that, like, you wouldn't get it, man.
32:55 people don't say that bro. it's the first time for everything. i don't think it can be kingly kick. decks already too fat. rest me. 21, 28. hold me right here. orbit me. we're gonna gather some light with one more energy. i mean the blades gotta start chunking at some point. there's no doubt about that. let's start chunking with some more energy. refine yourself. play a skill.
34:06 sovereign blade doesn't do nearly as much damage as i thought it would, which i think guarantees that we're dead. i think it means we're 100% dead. i'm looking at this, like in my head, i'm giving the appearance that i'm doing like math or something like that. no, nothing is happening. i'm staring at the screen, just waiting for something to come to pass that would change my mathematically certain fate.
34:43 epoch unlocked? i am playing on my my haptic vest modded save file by the way. you know what? let's slash marker. i should at least be able to close the game and turn the mod off. so i'm on my save file