post bail i did - Bits and Banter [07⧸02⧸2026]

Name: post bail i did - Bits and Banter [07⧸02⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-07-05
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "post bail i did - Bits and Banter [07⧸02⧸2026]" — 174 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-07-05

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174 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:12 man, every young hotshot in the outer rim comes gunning for me sooner or later.
0:46 it's just been so long. it's been so long since i heard it. i needed to hear it. what is that? that's i'm han solo from star wars connect from 2012.
1:01 i'm picking up my blaster, put it on my side jumping in my falcon, wookie on my side i'm so low, i'm hunting so low i'm hunting so low i mean that's only the first 47 seconds of the damn video man
1:29 they really only changed like half of the lyrics man. it's the song from the star wars dance game. there's various mini games, okay? there's various mini games in star wars connect. they're not all dancing. only a small portion of the game was dedicated to dancing. what's your favorite? i only know the dancing one.
1:58 i'm so happy the carbonate is gone i'm moving on it pops into my head every now and then it's such a jubilant lyric. i'm so happy the carbonate is gone two one
2:27 does that sound like han solo? i'm putting on my shades to cover up my eyes. i'm hopping in my ride. i'm heading out tonight. maybe the last part a little bit. oh, man.
2:48 i'm solo, i'm han solo, i'm han solo, i'm han solo, solo haven't you seen solo? i don't watch that garbage man. i had seen every star wars movie until...
3:02 well, the last jedi is the last star wars movie i watched. i said, i'm not gonna watch solo. i already know too much about this motherfucker. they won't get him out of the movies. now they wanna make a whole movie based on this guy? i don't give a, sorry, my kid's still in the house. i don't give a good gosh long about han solo, man. first, psy op in world history was trying to convince us that kinect was the future of gaming. zhao shung how, northernlion. zhao shung how to you, circadian 98. zhao shung how to you, circadian geo shir.
3:33 justin linked a historical mahjong set in the discord. it felt so good to go into my pinyin keyboard and type, it felt awesome, man. you're overdoing it? i know! i love being annoying. what about this? connect star wars larue, blaster proof. oh shit! i don't know what dance that is. that's crazy though.
4:07 holy cow. wow, that's just horrible, man. i don't care if it does say chewy hug. they had moms doing this shit in like their own basements and stuff, man. that's not okay. don't say the stormtrooper has a ghetto ass. that's a proprietary term for my childhood friend.
4:33 who i will not name him because there is no need, he doesn't need that kind of slander in his life, okay? but he, and i do think i was wrong by the way. when i said that it was when we saw triple x at the movie theater that he said that that lady had a ghetto ass, i actually, i was auditing my own memories. i actually think it was when we all went to see undercover brother, which i'm gonna say would have been like february of 2003 if i had to guess. whatever happened to eddie griffin?
5:00 got his career killed by the second deuce bigelow like rob schneider should have. five 14 year old white boys headed to see undercover brother. i'll have you know it was like probably three white boys and like four white girls or as they called them at the movie theater in 2004, white chicks. it was as far as rural ontario went in 2002, it was a very diverse group, okay?
5:24 ceo entrepreneur born in 1965. i'm just testing out of my voice works today. jeffrey jeffrey bezos. it kind of works. that comes on in the car sometimes when my daughter wants to listen to minecraft parodies. i just let it play. was that your entire class? nah, we didn't invite the nerds. come on jeffrey you can do it. muscle up put your back into it.
5:50 how's the dayquil hidden today? it's hidden good, man. the mornings we spent off the dayquil. let's load up monopoly star wars heroes vs villains, man. one second, i gotta give it access to the root kernel of my pc. what the fuck? ubisoft connect preparing to launch your game? it's monopoly, bro. you don't need to get ezio involved. i don't need to see ezio with the... with the scabbard and a... and a revolver. oh shit.
6:18 the droids, they got the droids man, they got everybody. the trench run from a new hope when they blew up the death star. cloud city! luke as a hologram! oh shit. poketan? the empire strikes back, when the empire invades the rebel alliance bro? joey!
6:44 with his bowcaster! oh no, not this guy. on mustafar no less? oh my god bro. and finn? and... some of you are probably from like the bad batch or something. i don't know man.
6:58 it's true, you might not have thought they could have mashed up the best ever board game that's ever been released with the best ever media franchise, multimedia franchise that's ever been released. this is monopoly star wars heroes vs. villains. i just found out this morning that this came out and i said, say no more. how could i not start my stream today by checking out monopoly star wars heroes vs. villains? and there's an open table and everything. oh my god.
7:30 holy cow with the droids how much did this cost this is $40. this is $40 it might just be $40 canadian. it might be like $32 usd are you playing multiplayer or single player? i think maybe we want to play like five or ten games single player first and then we want to go online because i don't want to just get rinsed online. you know, i want to if i'm gonna
7:59 make sure that i'm well prepared for when i get into the multiplayer. he sounds sick, man. he sounds a little sick. what happened to c 3po? i think he might have, like, he might have covid, man. i can relate. i can feel the snot in my brain. that might just be what it's like to be 37 years old.
8:25 trading obligations is strictly banned due to the volatile relationship between our participating teams bro, newt gunray is gonna be very disappointed to hear that no trading i know newt gunray's ass is tweaking right now bro approximately 60 to 80 minutes that seems seems appropriate
8:48 one controller for all? yeah, that'll work. alright, who's our team gonna be here? let's see, it's... can we choose a mix of light side and dark side even though that goes against canon? autofill ai, okay. there we go. who the hell is deidre miro, bro? wait, fuck that! who the hell is reva? can i take them out? there's no back button? i don't want to play against characters that i don't know the names of.
9:14 oh shit. oh fuck. look at my landlord bro. i'm going to hell. he's walking with a sense of purpose too. damn it's so cinematic. shit he just claimed jabba's palace.
9:37 alright, but here we go. let's go yoda. let's go. that's what the fuck i'm talking about, man. yes, dude. shake him up. shake him up. shake him up. shake him a four. i'm on the damn maz eisley cantina. damn, he's spry too. i am lieutenant dead romero.
10:05 thanks for that. she's actually i appreciate she's doing an intro, because i didn't know i didn't know that. that iconic obi wan kenobi line. we could be stuck here for a very long time. i don't even get to roll for my my ai teammates. i'm one sixth of the game. oh my god, he landed on the cantina, man!
10:34 we got no tempo! let's go luke! luke we need you, we're getting our asses kicked. the balance of power is tilted towards the dark side. do not roll a fucking four. oh my god he's feeding on jabba's palace bro!
10:57 oh my god, you can't let this dude get mustafar. that's where his fortress is and it's 50% off again! oh no, no, no. please master yoda! it is funny they just call it free parking. it doesn't have like the millennium falcon on it or whatever. act tough. i don't know that one. is that from the uh...
11:23 call in a stormtrooper to a tile with the three allies? to affect a location within three tiles? oh hell no. why he got he bought two properties? he's got an assistant now! huge. i literally just claimed this. okay, position my defenses. i want i want the dice to ricochet so they're not all close together. mission fucking accomplished, man. motherfucker, we got rinsed.
12:05 defenseless have been trampled. they've been trampled! villains claim the kcm facilities for free. oh, and then they're gonna upgrade it, bro. they're advanced to next opponent and fight? well, that's like the whole map! she gets to cross go? she gets to go all the way across the entire map and cross go and then fight us again.
12:35 i'm fucked bro. yeah, and i have to watch that's the craziest part. damn what then and now they own dagobah hermit's hut and she's still going? you just blew this motherfucker up! i was rolling like it's me. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh come on. it can't be real.
13:12 13 versus 4? it can't be real, man. something's not right. i've noticed that, actually. i've noticed that. holy shit, man. it's 35 to 4. and they're putting hotels on the octo sacred tree, man! damn. okay. the comeback starts now. i'm clicking like i can do anything. i don't do anything. yes!
13:47 that's why he's the goat. oh shit. no, he's fucking fucked man. that's the hotel! luke! motherfucker, man. come on, luke, hit those sixes. aim at the sixes, luke. let me see the code, man. i gotta see the code. it can't be real.
14:29 oh my god, no property. your active ability cooldown is increased by two? that's bad, man. it's really bad. crazy rolls, man. this is truly insane. yeah, take your time, man. he's en route to the damn cantina. okay, great. great. roll the dice to see how far master yoda gets pushed back.
15:12 four spaces. it's my motherfucking turn, here we go. enough of this bullshit, if it ain't one thing it's a fucking other man. motherfucker! doubles! i like how he walks slower when the destination's closer. that's relatable. jump to next neutral, which we can't afford, or jump to next hyperspace. we can't jump to the next hyperspace, bro. because if we jump to the next hyperspace, we'll miss our go.
15:43 it counts as pass and go, you should read. star wars, they never made any star wars books for a reason. what the fuck? master yoda go to jail?! whaaaaat?! he fucking throws me in carbonite! i'm the only real person playing the game! obi wan, i need your help. a random enemy location tier is increased by one? that's horrible news, man!
16:21 there's absolutely terrible news! jesus christ! if not enough they kill you, they gotta blind you first. and now they're gonna butt fuck me in a different way! select an enemy, they go to jail? damn, we got the whole fucking squad in prison, man. the entire rebel alliance is incarcerated.
16:52 why does obi wan look like he was frozen in the middle of getting his dick sucked? wait, wait, wait. one second. i don't know if i could plus two that. i don't know if that looks right. oh, on the bottom. oh, okay. yeah, okay. on the bottom i get. remember that? he said it.
17:41 it is a little bit like a bowling alley animation. 21 influence bro! and we flipped the fucking hermit's hut! so he doesn't have to pay ren when he lands on it. holy shit. and the aura walked over to his own hotel. 140 resupply, there actually is a chance. plus he got doubles, we're back. it hasn't been your turn in so long? i'm still, uh... i think it's almost as far as it can be from my turn right now, jay.
18:13 deirdre, where'd you land? oh the misfortune of landing at the gehen planes. you disgust me. all right well at least we're... oh shit they got all the oranges bro. oh and they're gonna start putting hotels on them. no mercy. a destiny card. free obi wan for prison. move back one time! oh they got park place and boardwalk bro.
18:44 and have price! oh no, no, no, no, no. advance to the next opponent and fight? that's luke. luke is good, man. palpatine attempts to recruit luke skywalker? no shot. that's our carry. number greater than the strike zone. all right. greater than or equal to. they've done it. villains win, bro. now just twist a knife.
19:20 there you go, that's a 12. that'll do it. sure, man. maybe... but why not make it three for three? oh, so close, deidre. so close. you don't meet that many deirdres anymore, have you noticed this? oh shit. she hasn't even rolled her doubles yet, man. wait, best roll we've ever had? 11 on three dice?
19:55 okay, it fucking leapt over the two and was like a hunter killer drone towards our six and then turned it into a two, man! villains steal three hunt that's more than i have. they took out a loan in my fucking name, man. it's my turn, y'all. here we go. never say it's over. four. it's over. that's the sacred tree of octo. oh, it's the temple island.
20:24 bro, temple island? that's a fucking four seasons. i can't afford that. are you crazy? oh great. fortress vader. as if this wasn't a fucking... uncrustable of a day already. weeey! we can beat that! we can beat 9, obi wan. we can beat 9. aim at the 6, brother. yes! he's doing it! what the fuck? it missed the 6 and turned the 2 into a 4.
21:00 villains steal 300. this money is just sort of like an idea in this universe. fantastic. we gotta pay rent to the gehen planes. what do you mean bro? it's the last mistake you'll ever make. use your damn skill. it's a passive. you don't know anything about star wars monopoly heroes versus villains, okay? it's a passive.
21:32 advance to the next location if neutral claim it for free if claimed earn or pay twice the amount yeah that's gonna be one space ahead of me and it belongs to the empire so i think i'm gonna be paying twice the amount bro that's rough why you playing mario party by yourself bro does this look like mario party does it look like there's any fucking minigames in this does it look like there's any items you're just rolling dice and moving and paying rent bro
22:08 hyperspace? you moved yourself to hyperspace. you moved yourself to the sandcrawler. where you have to pay us rent? oh fuck that's funny man. what the fuck? end the cave of evil for 40 credits? oh shit.
22:52 they own 18 locations then. how many, uh, how many locations are on a board of monopoly? 20? oh no. oh no, man. alright, luke. this might be our last offense, man. decent. 10 on three dice? one of our best performances? rev is already 31 years old. this fuckery can't go on much longer. oh, a 16 on three dice, huh? okay.
23:28 defenses have been trampled yet again. all right, and then i gotta see where we get 15 influence points. oh wait, it's over! bonus stars? of course you were excellent too.
23:56 no shot, bro. alright, well let's see the stats really quick. they have 19 properties to my 1, so they beat me in that category. 6 planetary monopolies to my 0.
24:23 but we was pretty close in the in the go event category. we went three to five on that one. they kind of like, kind of mocked me monetarily speaking as well. i don't think we could possibly deny that. how about the balance of power? the balance of power, we'd have to say we probably have to give that to the dark side just on the virtue of property owned. they own 95% of the property on the board. so i got to give it to them on that one. there's the room code in case you want to join on us. who am i going to be? i really thought i could choose a squad. you can only pick one fella.
24:54 alright guys any second now any second now and the lobbies gonna fill up chill. i'm booting it up. oh shit asajj ventress alan! alan on the nintendo switch come on, just even teams. that's all i asked for. damn he's got the obi wan episode 1 skin too. oh elbabs! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we can actually get a full lobby bro.
25:30 akronov! yes, man! $40 well spent. i don't think they're all chatters. i mean, alan is rocking the pay to win skin. on the nintendo switch? that might just be somebody having a sick day. yes! payden tm! bullshit roll. i want to see a fucking bullshit roll here. i want to see like a 2, a 4, or a 5. eleven!
26:01 what the fuck? the snowy plains of hoth? they're a pro! they didn't waste any time! i would like to jump to... we need tempo. jump me to the next neutral location. kids these days so lazy they use hyperspace to move one space forward. of course i'm gonna claim my location, bro. and i don't have the ability to use my first order influence yet to speed up my rolls, sorry to say. i end my turn.
26:30 he's probably right. he's probably right. advance to the next kanto blight tile. this could be huge. gamba? oh shit. it's up to you. go as all in as you want to go in, akronov. i trust you. this could be a big swing. a two. can i see the payout rubric again?
27:07 no credits won. motherfucker. that's alright. nothing ventured, nothing gained. but what if i won the gamble? that's accurate enough i can't blame you. i would have gone all in too. let's hit him with the dice, see what happens. a six. i'm on canto blight too. this is where we make back our losses. confirm. we need a four, a five, or a six.
27:42 yes! yes! the dark side rules! the dark side fucking rules! i can't let you get hop. i like that. i can't let you get hop. i can't let you get hop. if neutral, claim it for free. if claimed, earner pay twice the amount. free property for an old person. art imitates life. fuck you yoda. asshole.
28:11 you suck at this game? i'm literally carrying the rest of my team has done nothing. well, that's not true. akernav has done something he shouldn't have done. he's lost a bunch of money at the casino. an ape. doesn't mean anything. just visiting. we got yoda in prison on a conjugal visit. too bad he's an incel. i forgot about yaddle. i forgot about yaddle. my mistake. i wonder, isn't count dooku's ability he can put someone in prison too? akernav, your roles are hilarious.
28:52 have you landed on a property yet? the whole board is property. you're back on canto byte? you got a problem, buddy! you got a fucking problem! yeah, yeah. all in. of course you go all in. okay, this game's kind of the it's kind of peak. a one?! no, bro. call the hotline. come on, man.
29:18 yeah, i leave this up to you though. send someone to prison. ruin someone's day. i like that because he was already there. it's like if you wanted to be there so bad, well, you know, grant his wish. just visiting, i am not. have you seen the real star wars comic pNL where they throw yoda in prison and say welcome to your new home freak? i haven't seen that. that sounds awesome though.
29:52 oh! they've claimed the monopoly on octobro! and they're, oh my god, they're gonna spend all their credits building a fucking, a howard johnson at the jedi village? well, it's expensive, but it is a monorail resort. so you understand. you pay a little more for the convenience. yeah. i'm the crime lord, baby. free parking. yes, man.
30:22 keep your fucking horny ass in prison, man. master yoda's free? what the fuck? oh, he just paid. wait, so we just spent 300 to put him in jail so that he spent 300 to get out and then have a turn? posted bail, i did. oh, welcome to mustafar, buddy! oh, but you can use it to stop him from passing go. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
30:52 well, you know, you might also say, why is the go to jail square like a british police officer with a whistle and a blue hat? okay? like, if you open the door to questions like that, then you could just start questioning everything in star wars monopoly heroes vs. villains. and at that point, we wouldn't be able to really interface with the game anymore, which is the whole point. exactly. you can't compromise the iconic monopoly branding.
31:17 i'm sorry, i can't do this. you can't watch a stream of star wars monopoly heroes vs villains. it just came out. people wanted to know whether it was good or bad. they wanted to see gameplay of it to know whether it's worth buying. we lost carrie. carrie disconnected. they didn't think it would take this long. my grandpa disconnected when i was 10. that's not funny. i want to hear it. i want to hear the where as padme. i shall pretend i did not hear that.
31:51 here it comes. yes, man, do it. they fucking honey dicked us. they honey dicked us on the no. 12,000 people watching a grown man play star wars monopoly? yeah, it would be way more problematic if it was 12,000 people watching a little kid play star wars monopoly. you're not supposed to be on this website unless you're 13. hope that helps. 70 credits?
32:27 oh, z6, boost yourself back! yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a genius! and then you get another go, no, no, not forward! not forward! go back! so you go, aaaaaaaaggghhh! you can get another go event on the next turn! you can't boost yourself back? you can't go back past go. okay, alright, alright, fair enough.
32:48 i remember this, the battle for hoth. i remember this from the movie. just, sorry, i kind of lost myself for a minute there because i remember that this is a game made by like a public company that is like, like it's on the french stock market. there were like emails exchanged between multiple teams trying to like coordinate the release of the game and its development and stuff.
33:16 shit, that's a resupply. but now it's my role. i think we win. i think we can win. the dream role would be low doubles. so i get a turn to upgrade and then i get the go event on the next roll. that's the path for us. the golden path. seven. i'm landing. i'm not getting a go event. wait, that could be good. it gives us one more turn.
33:49 planet monopoly gained. that's influence. and oh fuck i could use my fucking first order influence too, one second. let's get the cheapest one that, oh no it only gives one influence okay one second. the ones at the end must give us more influence. yeah yeah yeah. so i will take this one for three influence. you can't get the nine you gotta build the three first okay! and now we're ten points down but we only need the one dice.
34:29 all we need to do is win this event and i think we win the game. this could be huge, man. shichimi is being destroyed by the star destroyer. oh great, and it's the hardest event ever made. five, six, seven, eight. yes! come on. just one more. just one more would make it so much more comfortable.
35:07 three. akronov, i've never asked you for anything. a six, a seven or an eight. the game's on your stick, akronov. i'm gonna fucking throw up, man. i'm gonna throw up. the instant two? don't call him a snake.
35:40 wait, but we get ten influence points and five influence points. yeah! i couldn't have asked for a better team. what is he fucking cheesing at the camera? oh, man.
36:07 that was the balance of power. i mean that was a close one. 114 to 109, that's a close ass game man. shall we run it back once you think? let's run it back once. five, that's a destiny card. no it's not! it's another property bro! i'm like, i'm going out of control here! i have so much property i feel like hannibal burress! asakabezos.
36:38 wait, wait, wait. jedi monk and warrior born in ce 54. that could kind of work, right? jedi monk and warrior born in ce 54. come on jedi, you can do it. they use bby and aby. born in bby 54.
37:08 jedi are weak and the sith, the sith are no better. okay, no opinion having asked. tarsen trist, acheronov at the casino, i've never felt more safe, bro. ow! my turn. sometimes the student guides the master. sometimes the student guides the master. oh, a 10. that's a pretty good roll.
37:37 otogunga? yeah, guess what? you've just been purchased by blackrock. darth rock. that is how george lucas was naming shit though. what the fuck? he's fleecing us! wait, wait, wait, but we get extra dice. horrific roll. absolutely terrible roll. eleven? oh shit. the defenses have been trampled. that, i gotta say...
38:19 akharnav, that was an aura farming roll when you just dropped the dice on the table without even touching hers. allow me to interpret what this card has to say. your active ability cooldown has increased by two. dumbass. oh, you get another destiny card? no, you're going to boardwalk, bro. that's the worst place to land.
38:52 this could be fucking huge. decent roll, all things considered. alan's turn. but your active ability is increased, bro. what the fuck? that's not that's not fucking passive, bro! you have to click a button that's as active as it gets! what the fucking fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
39:32 we're dominating on the go events, man. oh, it's hyperspace. hyperspace is good. and i actually get to roll this fucking time. nine? you rolled too good and got punished. alright, mace, lock in. proceed to your turn. oh, fuck. literally never seen one of these fail, man. there's no way. there's no way. oh!
40:20 what the fuck? three 9s in a row? we needed 5, 6, 7 or 8? what happens? it doesn't even count as a go event? has he had a single good game? i won the last game. i know it's a team game. i won it for our team with the craziest final turn of all time. that is true. you know the empire be saying some shit like,
40:51 scariest words in the english language? i'm from the resistance and i'm here to help. come on, man. type of shit that admiral huxby's saying or whatever. whatever his name is. lieutenant hux? bro, what is this title? you don't like my title? let me tell you something. you're my little boo thang. i don't give a hoot if your toots stink. you a little too tame. i be shooting my shot like 2k. girl, i know. tell him i'm, tell him i'm next.
41:20 i like it a lot. i'm getting head in the back rooms. i'm fucking the babadook. i'm six inches deep in pennywise. stank rhymes better. i can't believe we're doing this every time. it's based on an original song. in the original song, he says, i don't give a hoot what your dude thinks. we're not going to make it rhyme better and not have as much fidelity with the original song, then it's not a parody anymore.
41:49 the dark side is in our nature. oh shit, i shouldn't have laughed at him. the dark side is in our nature. pay rent at the jedi temple, bro. you paid rent but then you also paid even more to destroy our output. i gotta stop streaming, man.
42:20 the brain fog is getting too much. every sentence is like i'm trying to, i'm fighting my way through like silent hill trying to figure out where mary is. what's going on? i've had covid 21 times! the neurons are confused, man. there's no lighthouses left. little conbini on hoth. you gotta get your onigiri somewhere. people gotta eat, man. even the rebel alliance gotta eat.
42:48 so the other people in this game are real people in the world playing this quietly in their room? yes. yes, we found five other people that were interested in star wars monopoly heroes vs. villains. i've been playing this for three fucking hours. see you around, kid.
43:27 oh shit, send an enemy character to jail? bro, cad bane, you're going to jail, bro! i can't let you pass go. get fucked, buddy. i hate you. you can't pass go! i can't let you pass go! i can't stop thinking about trisha paytas dancing to king tut. i haven't seen that.
43:55 i did read an article probably like a year and a half ago. she was doing a play or something in vancouver and she made a video where she door dashed like eight different vancouver foods to her hotel room and then reviewed them all i was like damn this shit must have been like 300 bucks on doordash. i'm in vancouver, canada. let's try cineplex together. oh my god, that is
44:21 wow, okay. they said it was very canadian. it was a canadian brand cineplex. i know it's backwards because i'm shooting it in tiktok, but... and also, you really... you don't have to doordash, like, cactus club truffle parmesan fries to your hotel. like, there's a cactus club probably within, like, a two minute walk of wherever you're staying. she doordash cineplex thinking it was a restaurant? no. no, man. she got popcorn from cineplex on doordash?
44:53 she was probably staying at like the hotel vancouver that's like up two blocks away from scotiabank theater. i think i'm done with star wars monopoly man. i just think i've
45:07 i find it hard to believe but i think i've seen everything there is to see, man. it really is like all the minigames are like a pinball machine. i really thought it would at least have like a... maybe some variety somewhere. you guys fucking suck by the way, you guys are fucking horrible at this game. uninstalled. like if it wasn't for me you guys would be in the dirt right now.
45:27 it's crazy that the game you played by yourself you lost 19 properties to one. hey bozo, the game is based on influence points, okay? the properties are a secondary metric of success. cheesy. we did it y'all.
45:51 how about it's crazy the only game that akronov has ever won was when he was on my team? why doesn't anybody say some shit like that, man? nobody ever says some shit like akronov's never won a game by himself. can i refund this or are you gonna play this again? well, what you do with your life is your decision. i can't ethically, you know, given my place in the industry, i can't ethically say you should refund the game after you've played two rounds of it.
46:24 it's actually breaking my heart to find out that everyone in that game is from the discord. there's like 8 billion people on the fucking planet. there's 1 billion chinese people alone. we couldn't get one random person, the only way we could fill a lobby is by getting the discord in on it?
46:42 this shit has a 68 on metacritic, bro. what are the critics smoking? monopoly star wars heroes vs. villains provides a fantastic casual gaming experience perfect for fans of all ages. between its online couch and cross play modes, this release brings us all together for a game we know and love? no the fuck it doesn't, gamer's heroes!
47:03 no the fuck it doesn't. loot level chill monopoly star wars heroes and villains is a great game to play with friends and family. yeah, friends and family you hate. 75 from gaming boulevard. i was expecting a classic monopoly with a generic star wars theme slapped onto it. i couldn't have been more wrong. there are infinite ways that you could have been more wrong. you were like 95% right. you were 5% wrong at most.
47:32 the lowest review is a 60. a pithy star wars party game based loosely on monopoly that's quite a bit of fun with friends in the same room but distressingly uninteractive when playing on your own, that's a 60. the new star wars board game reinvents monopoly with fast paced matches asymmetric factions, which are symmetric by the way, just every ability on the light side has an exact identical match on the dark side,
47:59 and strategic card play? what do you mean strategic card play? ain't any cards in the game! fresh mechanics keep every session engaging even if luck still plays an important role. every session? every session's engaging? what do you think about that?
48:19 i've played this game for nearly a dozen hours with others and by myself i'm here to tell you this is an above average digital recreation of monopoly, a very bad board game. i can actually meet you in the middle on that one, but a dozen hours is kind of insane, you have my pity for that. 42% positive. 59 reviews is crazy, because we couldn't even get a lobby going except out of the discord.
48:44 i'm not trying to be evil, but i can't put myself in the headspace of someone who says, i like it, it has a lot of dice skins. god, i hate a review like this. i got it for the full price of 30 bucks and i'm not disappointed considering i can only buy two apples, a banana, and a drink for 30 bucks these days anyway. no the fuck, you can't. you can buy a lot more than that. two bananas is like, literally might be like 28 cents. they're like 62 cents a pound, bro.
49:13 technically if you only eat half of the last piece of chicken with each bite, it's an infinite chicken glitch. beautiful girlfriends who just need to finish their drink before you can leave the restaurant have learned this tip and been using it for many millennia.
49:26 dinner's all done. we passed on dessert. just gotta wait for her to finish her drink. they take forever. they, listen, they're gonna kill me for saying it. they do, they take forever to finish the last few sips of the drink. and every, every sip gets smaller. they don't take a consistent volume with each sip. every, the sip is based, it's a proportion of the remaining liquid.
49:47 maybe they're enjoying their time with you? yeah, yeah. that doesn't sound likely. maybe they're enjoying spending quality time with you? i don't think so, man. sorry, no chewbacca in this game. yeah, yeah. we'll play more star wars monopoly tomorrow. i really want to see like some of the other factions, see some of the other strategies you can get involved with, but i mean we are, we're already, what, we've
50:13 we have a 100% win rate online, which is as good as it gets. so i kind of need to wait for the rest of the populace to catch up in strategy at least. wait, wait! oh, baby! is the green more green or less green? that's interesting. i always just in my head, i'm like, of course they call it the green. it's green, but the whole course is basically green.
50:48 until you make it to act two and then sometimes they'll have like some desert holes or something. i would have to say that's less green. beautiful shot. did you know i can control the weather? 30 mile an hour winds? hit the ground, y'all. how about this? oh, but that was pretty fucking good. that one, that one i don't think is gonna make it unless we get a favorable bounce off the roof, off the jimmy carter's. that's it. that's it right there. and it curves perfectly.
51:33 off to jimmy carter. literally it doesn't get any better than that for me. oh no no no don't split the difference oh are you fucking kidding me bro? very clean. it can't miss, it literally can't miss. huge. pretty good effort compared to your peers that only took oh anyway this is where things heat up. this is a huge course to explore but all that will have to wait because this is just the devil!
52:15 you can clear your save in the main menu and try a demo speed run see your time and strokes here at the end. i've also activated some optional bounties which are scattered around the place if you want something more and hard to try. but first you should wishlist the game, which i will. bounty accepted. hit the secret hidden gong. it's nearby. can you find it? it's inside the house. this is the pro shop just so you know. oh my god. that's impossible bro.
52:49 go from the front? you don't think i can hit it from the back to the melody of roll it slow but now i gotta get up in there fast but i'mma finish last? no matter how much of a thug you see, i still spit it like it's r&b. come to the club with me and when some luther come on i hope you feel me and still gonna be in love with me. she said she wants some marvin gaye, some luther vandross, a little anita would definitely set this party off right. literally, is it a kanye west song? no, i was singing the twista version from overnight celebrity.
53:19 checkmate. atheist. now do mr. spriggs. you know, people know mr. spriggs. you're talking about, let me get some of that good meat falls off the bone. baby you hungry? i said baby i'm hungry. let's go to mr. spriggs and get us some ribs. 247 south air depot. let me get that s p r i g g s. when you deal with mr. spriggs you only deal with the best. are you talking about that?
53:52 call 733 8522. how do you know this? back in the day, we all used to watch the same videos instead of everybody getting served a machine generated video that confirmed their priors. we all used to go, have you guys seen this video? and then we would watch it. instead of like getting served a clip of two guys on a podcast reacting to a clip that was literally not from anything, they just made it to be reacted to. we used to be a real fucking country, bro.
54:27 oh! i'm worried about your two? this really could be the next trick shot sim, man. not to get everyone's expectations so high that this could be the next video game that's as good as trick shot simulator. you know what's crazy though? i told you when i was playing trick shot simulator, every comment was like, stop playing this or i'm gonna fucking kill you.
54:53 i said if you just let it fucking persevere eventually it's going to be part of the canon games that people are going to be begging for and be nostalgic about it. they were like no shot this garbage no shot here we are fucking a year and a half later they're begging for trick shot sim man no trick shot sim 2 featuring dude perfect you guys think they edit the videos or like that was their first try doing all the trick shots
55:21 first try? i mean otherwise like what would the point of watching it be? you could be like well like anyone could do this shit dude just film yourself like fucking it up a lot and then eventually you get it. the power of the lord makes them perfect. i don't know anything about dude perfect except my kid has watched some of their youtube videos. i will say they do have kind of 2020s putting love god before love their wife in their social media profile you know what i mean?
55:51 it says like, first things first, i love the lord and secondly, family above all else. i didn't say anything else. i didn't even say that's bad. i'm not putting some old dude above my wife though. unless she like, i guess maybe if she asked but i'd probably, i'd take issue with it. let's put it that way. you did imply it? well you have to remember i've been on more cruises than any human being on planet earth so like, i've seen so many shirts that are like,
56:16 don't you dare try to take away my bible or my family. that's like 90% of, not of america, but 90% of americans who go on cruises are wearing a shirt like that every day. they packed four shirts for the first four days of the cruise. and then the last three days of the cruise, they wear a shirt that they bought the previous day at whatever port they were in.
56:41 so if they went to skagway, alaska on day four, on day five, they will all be wearing their skagway, alaska shirt. but on day three, it's you will never take my bible or my wife away from me. sometimes you see like people wearing and i guess i like you're not going to agree with this reasoning, but i swear it's true. you'll see people wearing like canadian flag merch on cruises. they're americans. you know how i know they're americans?
57:09 canadian patriots don't wear gear that they bought from a souvenir store in gaston. they don't, if you're from canada, you don't buy a shirt that says vancouver bc that has like a cartoon moose and an igloo on it. it just doesn't happen. you wear a blue jays hat or something like that. what about alberta? they wear the canadian flag upside down because they think our nation's in distress. okay, that's pretty funny. i'm not gonna read it, but that's pretty funny. i don't know anything about the dude perfect guys. they might be cool, man. i don't want to put that evil on them.
57:43 as far as i know, all i should know about them is that they're amazing at flipping the bottles. our nation's greatest think tank of bottle flippers. would you complain if we annexed alberta? i would, but they might not. i don't know, man. it's all fucked up these days. listen, okay, if you're from edmonton, i don't mean that for you. if you're from anywhere but edmonton. did i stutter? i think that's gonna be clean too. oh.
58:23 i think that makes it bro. oh literally all we had to do was lock in. 50 bucks little man put that shit in my hand. just had to stop yapping for one second. perfect accuracy. get the ball into the hole on the tiny island. i turned off the wind to make it easier for this system. hit a hole in one. the final bounty is hit a hole in one. wait now it actually is trick shot simulator. wait this is kind of awesome. this is literally very doable.
59:01 is it gonna take a minute or two? yeah, i mean it could take like 10 hours. easier than sorting 1600 books without using magical spells for sure. oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
59:33 shorty what you think about that buy me in the gray cadillac we in the bed like ooh i bet you go crazy at karaoke a lot of people think i suck at karaoke but what i lack in musical talent i make up for in paying for the room so it's kind of like it's an asset. let's put it that way and kate and i did karaoke on the disney adventure i did i opened with regulate and
59:58 they had a crazy good track list. like i was stunned. i thought it would all be like hercules songs and shit like that, but they had like echo and the bunny men and everything. but that's kind of a hard song to do when you're only a warren g or a nate dogg. cause like the parts where like the other person breathes, you don't get to breathe. cause like now you got to hook a left on 2 1 and lewis, some brothers shooting dice. so i said, let's do this. and you got a code switch for the nate dogg stuff. just hit the east side of the lbc.
1:00:29 man, i feel like a woman goes crazy as a guy with a deep voice. oh, so you can do shania twain, man, i feel like a woman, but if i do casual by chappell rhone, everybody wants me to fucking die. even though for some reason it's in my register and i can relate to it, i didn't say i could sing as good as chappell rhone. i said it's in my register, okay? you have a register? yeah, a fucking cash register. now watch this drive. god, that would have been a great clip. that would have been a great clip.
1:01:02 why can't you sing casual? i don't know, cause fucking like 26 year olds think they was the first generation to get their pussy ate. it's fucked up bro, we all on this earth together. i okay, i'll give it to you. if you were born like in the year 2000, you're probably among the first generation of like uh, plurality ass eaters. i can't front on that one. how long you think feet guys have been around?
1:01:27 i mean, because as i understand it, fetishes are like partly culturally derived. i imagine the proportion of them in the general population rises and falls as certain cultural trends come to pass. but i'm sure some variant on them has kind of been around forever. and it's so funny to think about prehistoric human beings that were like when there was like a thousand people left on earth
1:01:52 after the the cataclysmic global ice age and there's like two guys who are still like fucking like what size are your what size are your moccasins? yeah, can i ask you a question? what size moccasins do you wear? just curious. you don't have to tell me it's so funny you to think that like our very very distant ancestors from
1:02:17 despite living in much different conditions than we do are like not that dissimilar. ladies, by the way, there's a dude out there who's about to cry when i say this but if there's like a platonic friend that you have who is male who has ever asked what size your shoes are or as asked like a couple of times
1:02:38 like it might be a different story if you guys were like going bowling together and he's like i'll rent your shoes from the front desk or something. but if out of nowhere he was like i had a weird question for you what size are your shoes? don't let me put it this way don't overthink it trust your gut on that one sometimes your first instinct is right and it doesn't make him evil i'm not saying it makes him evil but he ain't slick either and fellas exactly if you want to get the answer just take her bowling exactly
1:03:09 do feet people like bigger feet or smaller? you know, it's a good question. i don't know if there's a universal answer there. any ethical feet guys want to come in and explain it to us like we're in a louis theroux documentary? i feel like there's some things we can just assume. one would be clean feet probably get more attention than dirty feet except from true degenerates.
1:03:34 like, i'm assuming the toenails, most people want them to be trimmed if i had to guess. it's just the shape. i'm sure there's gotta be something more to it. i don't know. you got your first boner at foot locker or something like that. spend a lot of time in shoe stores when you're a kid because your feet are growing like crazy. i mean, it's a perfectly plausible explanation, i guess. it's gotta be good for the overall economy that there are foot guys out there. because isn't it like how furry
1:04:05 artists, how artists get most of their money from furry commissions online. i have to imagine that if you are selling pictures of yourself or videos of yourself online you're very thankful that feet guys exist. imagine if you want to sell like a nude picture of yourself it might be like you know 10 bucks but all of a sudden you get some guy in there it's like i'll give you like 500 bucks for just a picture of your feet with your socks half off or something like that you're probably like this is a good day at work for a guy like me
1:04:32 that's like when i get sponsored to play a roguelike that i was planning to play on that same day anyway. people probably be crazy for you because you're a toe walker. i honestly think my feet are like nothing special man. i mean like as in as far as feet can be muscular, i think my feet are relatively muscular because they're supporting like all of my weight on like half the foot. the toes are a little hairy,
1:04:56 the nails, i mean a little, i don't take that much care when i trim my toenails. some of them got a nice little curve, some of them a little too square. and there's a like on the ball of both feet, a huge fucking callus. like john turturro mr. deeds style callus. so i think it's, i mean it might appeal to a niche, but i think it wouldn't be like a blockbuster, let's put it that way.
1:05:24 200 people left? if you ever talk about anything related to like us being human beings, people are like, i can't watch this. i'm out of here. it's so fucking depressing, man. i came here to forget about foot fetishes, not to be exposed to them. what the fuck are you talking about, bro? you came here because your dopamine receptors are fucking fried like the rest of us. you ain't special. they got ipas at 12% now. when is enough going to be enough, man? 100%.
1:05:56 no, because they're gonna like superheat the water or something so it can absorb more solvents. or more solubles i suppose, but you get the... they're gonna find a way. they're gonna make a bud heavy. how does he know? i lived with a bunch of engineers, man. so of course, i know, oh dude, we just bought beer but the beer's not cold. what do you want to do, drink warm beer? impossible. here we go, let's go buy a bunch of fucking rock salt.
1:06:25 and pour it in the lukewarm water in a stainless steel bowl and then wrap every beer can in paper towels and then like stir it for half an hour. what are we doing, man? spiritually, this is trick shot simulator. i'll take it a step further. there's only a few different kinds of games on the earth. one is trick shot simulator. one is incremental games. these might, as of right now, i feel like these are the only two genres that like exist
1:06:56 as distinct silo entities. what's pong? pong is trick shot simulator. that's obvious. and now i've proven my point. isaac? isaac is an incremental game. as you play you unlock stuff that makes it easier. chess? okay, i'm willing to accept there might be a third kind of game but i don't know what it is. the third kind of game might be like street fighter. like a fighting game. that's one on one completely skill dependent. but there's certainly not 15 genres of games. what the fuck?
1:07:29 effectively, your brain transmutes every video game into one of three experiences. boredom, frustration, or temporary bliss. oh! i'd say fun's the best kind of music. you're given the same vibes as the person in the discord this morning that said they listen to music for pump up vibes, okay? and i refuse to elaborate. they're valid, by the way. i said they're val i if anything, i said that they're valid
1:08:10 because i still hear waka waka this time for africa at least once a month no matter where i am in the world. so obviously there's at least 2 billion people who are mostly just like this song's catchy, you know? they don't think about it any deeper than that. i hate that soooooong. anyone here canadian? i really hate that soooooong. i hate that soooooong. does anyone, can someone save me? do you know what i'm referencing here?
1:08:40 yes, yes i know. yeah, that's big reck, yeah. i hate, i love that song. i really hate that tune that i sit and stare, cause this is rare. i really hate that tune. i hate that song.
1:09:09 oh shit. the zootopia version is nightmare fuel? bro, that's try everything. and actually, so you got your shakira confused, but the zootopia 2 song is way worse. we live in a crazy world caught in the rad race. caught in the crazy world caught in the rad race. that's not shakira, that's gazelle. my bad. that's gazelle. canonically speaking, i can't disagree.
1:09:37 i still like also every time i'm forced to interface with any disney property immediately in my head. no one sucks like gaston, no one fucks like gaston, no one turns more husbands into cucks than gaston. i'm especially good at penetrating. please fuck my wife, you gaston. like i just get the lyrics do not
1:10:07 the real lyrics do not fucking exist in my head. that's the only thing that exists in my head whenever i see any animated character. you keep bleeding viewers, when i'm fucked up that's the real me. in my head though, anybody leaving the stream it's because like their mom's in the room while they were watching and they're like this shit's embarrassing to watch with my mom in the room. buddy, i mean she was just around you while you watched three hours of me playing star wars monopoly so like
1:10:39 i think she knows what kind of person she's dealing with. i mean, she fucking raised you. not gonna... oh, my mom might get a vision of what my true character is like. buddy, she's fucking what you're made of. you're made of her, bro. she knows who you are. one suck ahead of the cum shot. oh shit, that's good. one blow ahead of the splooge. ice berm, only what i can have. we can make this work. we can make this work.
1:11:14 also, i'll say it again. i said it once people took issue with it. watch peter pan. peter pan is gay. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but all the fucking baddie mermaids at pirate's cove are like fighting over peter pan. ladies, he's fucking gay. watch him for like five seconds. you're literally trying to kill wendy for having the audacity to be
1:11:40 female in the vicinity of peter pan. you're trying to fucking drown wendy. he's also like 10? he's not 10, he's like, isn't he like older than the universe or something? he's some kind of extra dimensional being for sure. the rules of like normal life do not apply to peter pan. like fuck physics, like he's operating on some kind of cosmic laws of nature. oh, we're knock, knock, knocking.
1:12:13 knockin' on buckaday's door. you guys know what i'm talking about when i say that? i haven't thought about that in a long time. knock, knock, knockin' on buckaday's door. well, even the ai is stumped, bro. you may be interested in the no bad days cafe in vancouver. buck a day commercial.
1:12:43 here we buck a day yes! good i'm smarter than you! jemini! i'm fucking smarter than you! oh shit. buck a day computers commercial 2002. you can get an ibm. i wanna get an ibm for you!
1:13:10 they have 128 mb of ram, might cost more than that now.
1:13:29 bucket day can approve you for no interest no payments for six months, but you must call now get your ibm pc for $9.99 or just a bucket a from the bucket a company call now $999 or a buck a day. yeah, i think i'll be going with a buck a day. i'd be stupid not to really wanna go away
1:14:00 do you think you really want a clone? no! canada's awesome, man. over 3 million people have one. this one broke my computer. do you have one? this broke my computer! my computer is completely bricked. are you still experiencing the stream? my ui has completely collapsed. chrome! chrome, come back!
1:14:34 one second, this is a control shift escape moment. one suck, head of the semen, one blow ahead of the splooge. oh man. and was... trust me. oh, in my fucking travels?
1:14:55 i've met some people that would not find that fucking funny. wait, wait! i spit only when i don't use lube and that's every day. that's one suck ahead of the semen, one blow ahead of the splooge. i spit only when i don't have lube and that's always. yes, man! this is huge. this is huge for us. anyway, i'm done.
1:15:22 no, you don't even say, can i do gay uncle cracker for you, okay? because this is, i know what you're gonna say. you're gonna say, swallow me, and then everything is just gonna flow from that. you're gonna go, swallow me, everything is all right. wrong asshole. oh shit, it's gonna be like, talk on my penis and grease my balls, i wanna get, well like, okay, what is it? and suck away.
1:15:55 i wanna get fucked to some rock and roll, give me the beach boys and free my soul. oh man.
1:16:04 give me the big boys to pee in my hole. see, this is why you have to be careful with the gay parodies, because many of you don't seem to understand the difference between like a fetish and a sexual orientation. so many bits from chad have started with like, can i do a gay version of led zeppelin? and then it ends up being about like poop or pee or something like that. and i'm like, that's not gay. that's poop and pee. that's two different things.
1:16:32 you're literally erasing all of my straight brothers and sisters who are in the poop and pee. it's offensive. now i gotta fucking give me the beach boys and free my soul rattling around in there. give me a deep boys and fill my hole. i think it's made funnier by the fact that he strikes me as a fella who's very serious about his music. see this, i want you to blow your load in my rotten hole like
1:17:04 like what is that? what is rotten hole? rotten hole. that's disgusting. vile. and has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter at hand. poop and pee, i do it every night. no, no, this was not an invitation for more suggestions in the vein, okay? i think we've established that this bit has gone as far as it could. it peaked at, i spit only when i don't have lube.
1:17:38 it peaked there and now we're just on the very rapid descent. can you do a gay version of stacy's mom? literally easy. just change the singer to a lady. done. sorted. it's kind of crazy to think statistically there's at least one person out here who's played the demo that got a hole in one on their very first shot of the tutorial. i think that's beautiful. no shot? i mean, i don't want to blevens this but like,
1:18:12 hitting a hole in one doesn't seem difficult at all. it seems like it's just a matter of chance. it's like the more shots you take, the more likely you are to hit a hole in one. i didn't say it's 50 50. i just said the more shots you take, the more likely you are to hit a hole in one. if you put a million people on a par three and gave them all a driver and then had them take a drive, like 5,000 are gonna hit a hole in one.
1:18:40 why a driver? because it doesn't matter, it's 50 50! don't be churlish. don't be whiny. or else my brother might have to get medieval on your high knee. you know what i'm talking about? i know you fucking know what i'm talking about. oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
1:19:17 the average person watches two movies a year and 3,000 hours of 10 second long algorithms or videos. and we wonder why the culture is sick, man. on the bright side, do have lots of innovative ways to gamble now. oh, and it can't be that bad because it did get us the michael jackson tiktok impersonator video. hee hee. can i get a large popcorn?
1:19:45 yeah, we don't get a reference to a parody song from 30 years ago, society's fallen. it's not a parody song from 30 years ago, it's amish paradise. that's like saying the bible's an old book. it's different. it's like more special somehow. what did chet holmgren say? it feels like that would be perfect for a game in which we're sinking long shots in golf that have to hit a tree. is this something about hanging tray poles? something like that? od? od, ben?
1:20:21 54 from trade ball is od shooting hang pulls. that's right, thank you, thank you. that's exactly what i was looking for. i ratioed chet holmgren on twitter. you know he's a professional basketball player and you live every second of your life online, right? that's a home game for you. if you really want to impress me, hold him to zero points in the nba finals. as far as i'm concerned, i would expect that he spends most of his time playing basketball, you spend most of your time typing. i would expect you to post better than chet holmgren.
1:20:50 i used to work for a big donut retailer in portland and staff told me for a while we had a nyquil donut until the fda said they couldn't anymore. well, i hope you kept their contact information because there's nobody around to stop them anymore. also, i don't think you should consume nyquil unless you're sick. and apparently, even zquil, if you take zquil to sleep, the active ingredient like, you know, pokes holes in your brain or something like that. so,
1:21:20 i'm not saying you should consume it. if you're sick, you can probably tank it though, because it's like not getting into your body anyway, because all your shit's fucked up. but the flavor of nyquil is pretty good. it tastes pretty good. it tastes like shit from ass. it literally tastes like cherry, cherry baby cherry. won't you come out tonight? cherry. wait, okay.
1:21:49 cherry baby, cherry baby. old ass frankie valli still cooks you? no shot, bro! he's performing with the muppets right now. i didn't feel good about saying that, but somebody gotta get my man out of there. even with the rocker fire explosion, he toast your ass? he's more ripped than you! it had that energy. you had that energy radiating off your comment. shut the fuck up! he's more ripped than you are!
1:22:22 that is actually a great bit to do a frankie valli stream where you record, you pre record the stream but then go live with the audio from the stream playing and you lip sync your own bits and see how long it takes chat to notice that you're lip syncing your own bits. you know after a few minutes you would get people being like, the audio doesn't quite match up with the video. like is twitch having a problem?
1:22:52 well i think it would take a while until anybody was like, maybe he pre recorded the whole stream and he's lip syncing the bits. guys last week i saw a magic show and the magician did a trick where he asked someone in the audience to think of a word but then he never asked them what the word was, okay? until the end of the show when he said just out of curiosity, what was your word?
1:23:19 and then they said, oh, my word was this. and he went, oh, weird word. wait a second. and then he grabbed like a chalkboard that he'd written the number down on earlier and flipped it around. and it looked like the word that she had thought of. and for like five minutes, i was like, this dude is actually fucking psychic. and then i, it sucks being old. cause i ran it through the adult filter on my brain.
1:23:50 and i was like, wait, that's not a trick. she was a plant. there's no, there's no craft in that at all. the lady that was in the audience was, she works with you. even though she said she'd never met him before in their life. they wouldn't just lie at a magic show, would they? this is harder than i want to be the guy. wait, wait, wait. hear me out here. you guys like the strokes? you guys like marie antoinette by sofia coppola?
1:24:19 i wanna be the guy and i don't wanna be. we can make this work. i said, please don't make this harder. no, i won't yet. that chatter could be a plan. chatter, i've never met you before, right? you can go now, we release you. oh shit, okay, okay, ready? and i walk away from the keyboard. just one good one. this could be it, man.
1:24:57 not good enough. it has to be within four feet of the goal. i know your horny ass just fucking perked up when i said four feet. what's your favorite metaphor that big boy has ever used to describe how cool he is? certainly in at aliens he says i'm cooler than a polar bear's toenails. that's our close one. that's our close one for sure.
1:25:27 but then in so fresh, so clean, doesn't he say he's cooler than a penguin drinking a milkshake in a blizzard or something? that's a freddy jackson sipping a milkshake in a snowstorm. that's it. that's it. anyway, see you tomorrow. goodbye.
1:25:52 just waking up in the morning, gotta thank god i don't know, but today seems kinda odd no barking from the dog, no smog, mama picked the breakfast with no hog i got my glove on, but didn't pig out finally got a call from the girl i wanted to get out hooked it up for later, as i ate the door thinking where i live, i know they're 24
1:26:16 i got a cool cuz i got me a drop top and if i hit the street i can make it drop had to stop at a red light lookin in my mirror not a jacket inside and everything is alright i got a beeper fan and she can do it all night i called up the homies and i'm askin y'all which park are you in? basket's on me on the court and i'm trouble masked me, messed around and got a triple double
1:26:46 i'm making brothers every way like mj. i can't believe today was a good day.