I'm sick of this robot (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: I'm sick of this robot (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-16
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "I'm sick of this robot (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 97 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-16Slay the Spire 2

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97 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 and then, then we gotta... i honestly, with god as my witness, source my ass but also my lived experience, i think the defect is the weakest character in slay the spire 2, or at least the hardest one to win with. this is so funny, cause neo's bones. i'm always so excited to get two relics. and then like, just imagine the situation where we get these two relics, okay? then what we get is this relic.
0:34 and then we use precise scissors to remove the curse that we got for getting the relic in the first place. so we basically just got this relic. it doesn't work. i've done it in a video. i recognize the order's wrong. i think it was like i got neo's bones and precise scissors was one of the options, and then the first relic i got from neo's relic gave me a curse. so then i used the precise scissors to remove the curse
1:07 that i got from the first relic. and then i was like, well this shit didn't even have to exist. but actually, i mean, whatever. i do think file holster could be good. it feels like in slay the spire 2 there's more potion synergies than slay the spire 1. that being said, let it fly. oh shit. okay, first add an additional strike and defend. channel a dark and heal for two and then transform my additional strike and defend.
1:37 glasswork, momentum strike, wait this is kind of peak man. and guilty gets removed regardless. guilty's not even that bad. glasswork is really good. momentum strike seems like it could be awesome early. and we start with a dark orb which is like i feel like we got a chance to be a little aggressive here. but the defect is like i my assessment of them is that they're upgrade hungry because you the
2:07 it feels bad to play a zap for one and a dual cast for one when you could just play him for zero instead. mocked. worst thing about fucking lightning rod. worst fucking thing about lightning rod. if you play multiples, it doesn't stack multiple orbs on the same turn. it extends it. so you end up in the situation where you're like, i thought i was gonna be generating five lightning orbs per turn, instead i'm generating a lightning orb every turn until turn 20. who gives a fuck?
2:53 i literally don't care. literally don't care. cheese me. cheese to meet you, sir. give me another glasswork. let's go fucking nutty on this one, man. and then... literally, that sucked. but literally this stalls you for a turn. and then we presumably just nuke you next turn. right? 343, guilty spark, exact lethal, thanks for the cheese. you'll 9 damage twice, channel 2 glass.
3:50 this is the type of card that has to cost less, man. it has to cost less on the upgrade. 24 damage, 2 glass. it's literally good. i've never taken it, so i will take it because i've never taken it and because it has the same keyword as other cards in our deck. but it's gonna be tough to find the situation to play it, i should say. it's literally bludgeon. bludgeon's bad too, i don't give a fuck.
4:24 fiend fire is the only good card, okay? that's are you paying attention? fiend fire is the only good card in the game. me when i have bag of prep and i draw seven cards on turn one and it's three strikes, three defends, and a fiend fire? ohhhhhh. ohhhhh. me, me, me, me, me, me, me. i mean, capacitor glass is really good for aoe. how much do glass orbs do when they evoke? i don't know. is it double?
5:13 double their value to x. okay. well, then i'm not gonna get more orbs i want to evoke them and get through this real quick. don't kill me early, please so this is just like not what i want on turn one. fuck it, bro. you're good prove it actually seemed like a very good start take claw you idiot, you know, i look at the the claw gamers the same way that buzz lightyear
5:53 looks at the other buzz lightyear's in toy story 2. you know when he's in the box and he's going like, let me out of here, i'm the real buzz lightyear. and then they zoom out and there's like infinite buzz lightyears. they're like, i'm not like other gamers. i just take claw every single time. i just like claw. i don't know what it is about claw. i just like it. i'm not like other latest buyer players. i just really like claw. i think it's really useful to have one claw in your deck at all times. that's not to say i look upon you with disdain by the way. it's just like you ain't the one is all i'm trying to say.
6:36 one lightning rod to get the orbs, to get the glass orbs evoking a little quicker. 16 damage, kind of crazy early. now you're not wrong, genetic algorithm kind of a different story. now that's a fucking card. when you're random rare is genetic algorithm. ooh, and then you draw it and you draw and you play it and then you play fiend fire. ooh, because you got the prism. at some point you're going to need block, man. every three turns draw a card. i like it a lot.
7:28 any chance any of you channel more glass? fuck it. that's basically one energy because i'm gonna play that every time it shows up. i hate this fucker. stop getting stronger, bro. genius play. interesting with momentum strike, but we're not building towards that. genius pewds strikes again. i know they don't be saying it anymore, man. they'd be taking my bucket, but they don't be saying genius pewds strikes again anymore. really pissing me off when they don't be saying stuff like that.
8:36 never seen nl and westside unc in a room together? really makes you think. who's westside unc? is that a rapper? they sound like a cool rapper. you would love them? are they an influencer? what are they? well, you're definitely gonna beat my ass, but it is what it is, bro. at least we killed... i guess i should have attacked one that actually would have died and then not hit us, but we all influencing every day? sad, but true, man. entropic brew, it does exist.
9:34 and the fish lord. how do we feel about fish lord here? i gotta think about it. well, you know what? i'm a big believer in not thinking too hard and just like going all in. that seems like the perfect series of potions for this guy. oh my god, and we had pen nib. holy shit. going all in to make sure that we make it through this and then like puzzling the shit out on the on floor two. just reread the never met a burger i couldn't eat tweet. what a certified classic.
10:17 can i be honest with you? i don't know if i'm familiar with that tweet. never met a burger i couldn't eat. when i think of load bearing tweets, i think of like, i have the paper towel habits of a much wealthier man. that's a classic. i think of, yeah, i'll tell you one thing, me and my friends would have beaten e.t. to death with hammers.
10:42 i made the clutch move of ordering us pizza at 1am that you said honey badger drinks when he wants. that's an all time classic. and i will say, and you don't have to hand it to him, but the kanye water bottle tweet is a work of art in the sense that i think about it every time i'm in the situation. whenever we're at the airport and kate is like, do you want to get some water before we get on? i'm like, no, because then i got to babysit the bottle of water the whole time.
11:16 either you drink the water and then throw it in the recycling bin at the gate or you don't get the water. you wait until you go to the... you wait until you get on the airplane and you give you a little cup instead. you could have had a crazy deck with the claws. close the tab and delete your negative review of this because you say it's unbalanced. megacrit literally intellectually mogs you, just so you know.
11:44 and by the way, listen, i'm playing slay the spire 2, i'm interfacing with new mechanics like glass orbs and you're like, run back the same all for one claw build you've been playing on your phone for fucking nine years. what the fuck are you talking about, bro? not to mention, we're talking about works of art, we're talking about seminal tweets, we're not talking about the... this isn't limited resources, we're not raiding a five out of five card, three out of five for the pre release, to try to sell lynda.com subscriptions, okay? anyway, the point is you take nothing here because none of this is good for us.
12:19 who's this fella? imbued. card is automatically played at the start of combat. if it was attack, that'd be swell. the start of combat channel three lightning. three lightning and a piña colada my friend! doesn't really work. pain gain two energy. skill with imbued.
12:50 stomping on the avenue at radio city with the... i do kind of like the concept of... well, dude, honestly, against combat, like against basic enemies, starting with five block and a glass on turn one is not that bad. but starting with 11 block and one dark is basically like this relic, the symbiotic virus, plus the anchor all wrapped up in one.
13:23 it's kind of... i honestly think that might be swag. now the dark orbs are going to get evoked too quick to be as useful as they could otherwise be, but still. that one relic was two relics, man. we fucking beat your ass, bro, and now you're going to hit me. how fucked up is that? we fucking went apeshit on you and you're still going to hit me. that's so fucked up. fuck it, i'll do that to block a little bit of damage. chill is literally good, and we get it whipping the orbs around even faster.
14:28 get the glass out there real quick. i mean, we've got to, we should seriously just go into combat immediately every single time because we can farm the cheese with this. lightning and a pina colada my friends. stomping on the avenue at radio city with us. this one might be a little different because we want to, well we do want gloss out there. we want a pepsi bottle and a coca cola gloss out there.
15:05 one chill? i think i'd rather have a lightning orb out there next turn. and don't play the chill. we really wanted more than anything else, we wanted a fuckload of glass out there, but so be it. fuckload of glass sounds like the soundtrack to mishima, life in four parts. yeah, i haven't seen it yet. it's next on the fucking list, okay? it's gonna happen. the cook lab. i don't believe you? it's literally gonna be the next movie. it's built in.
16:13 one damage, you gotta be flicking me man. where's my fucking glass? we don't draw statuses in this house. 120 mins. that's why i gotta wait till like the right day to watch it, cuz the peloton rides are only 90 minutes. i mean, it's by choice, but it's also by the time available to myself. we should definitely evoke the dark orb two times and then evoke two dark orbs. when are you getting back to the bazaar?
16:52 i mean, it's just like with no disrespect, it's crazy that people keep asking us like this. no matter how many times i say it's not gonna happen, still here. bear's playing the bazaar. you should go watch bear play the bazaar. i'm gonna bet that this just kills you. i'm not gonna do the math. i'm just gonna bet on it. i think a hotfix could be crazy. you are doing 22 damage. that does not bother me. i can live with that. you are doing 10 damage. i don't care.
18:06 literally not even gonna do the math. surely this kills. if it doesn't, we would have just used a potion anyway. focus strike is interesting for a guy like me, but i'm just not sure it's quite good enough. like, one extra damage times every glass orb times all enemies is very interesting, but... i just, i don't think it moves the needle enough, man. focus strikey. magresta, you need to start leaving reviews on letterboxd, because i saw that you watched, um, if i had legs, i'd kick you.
18:43 perfect opportunity for me to leave a review that or a comment on your review that just says asap rocky. but you deprived me of that. and in many ways, i'll never forgive you. that's a positive incentive to do that. frames of nick, are you here? is it or is it not awesome to have me leaving comments on your reviews? like when you left that review of dead ringers and i said david had jeremy talking like joel at the end.
19:26 i mean, jeremy irons was going, ellie, ellie, ellie, ellie, ellie. i don't know what you want me to say, the comment speaks for itself. david had jeremy talking like joel, bro. they don't get it, man. how about a crazy block? literally worked for us. is dead ringers the one where they die and come back? spoilers, but no, not at all. so i guess no spoilers.
20:18 thankfully, no. thankfully it's not. that might be the 1993 film my boyfriend's back, now that i think about it. how do we feel about elites, man? we're doing very well. like, we just did six combat nodes like a boss. we should probably try to fight an elite. literally get 19 block on turn one because of the intimidating helmet. that's so freaking crazy. sure, man. you're gonna need the block.
21:00 28, we have 25. we need one of those two of these. it is a perfect glass enemy, but that would require me to at some point like draw a glass. 25, you're doing 34? i will absolutely do this. block it up a little. one's dead. i don't believe i will kill two. so i think this turn is going to suck pretty bad. oh, you're fucked? oh, that was not bad. ornamental fan does nothing for us, but that was not bad.
22:00 new secret to playing the defect just dropped? take no cards, exclusively fight enemies. play no cards. fuck it man, let's get those dark orbs swinging around. go to no shop with 400 gold. the gold ain't going out of style, okay? it doesn't go bad. calm yourself. you're probably fucked. you... no, no, no, you're not gonna live, okay? how come in past lives the husband writes a book called boner? how come in your life
23:00 you've written a novel's worth of messages into my chat, but have never published anything. you ever think about that? i love nothing feels better than seeing a wave of cots, man. it's so... you leave that guy alone! that guy's my goat, okay? fuck, that felt good. i'm not dual casting a whack ass dark orb like that. i'll just wait for it to single cast for nothing.
23:36 yeah, i'm literally not gonna add a fuckload of daisies in my deck. thanks for asking. this guy's gonna beat my ass red for sure though. this is big. you're dead next turn, right? and i live, probably. i'm trying not to play attacks but still get the kill so that i can get the benefit of pen nib early on the next fight. first time you gain block from a carnage combat double the amount gained, bro! okay, now i need a lesson on consuming shadow.
24:26 wait, this is actually good because we summon a lot of glass. evoking full power glass orbs actually might be the move. give me a random power. it sucks. it's like it synergizes insofar as we get one lightning once if we draw it early enough. i would very much like to draw my good power if possible.
25:05 i'd rather have a third dark orb out there for sure and then don't evoke it yet. enemy's gonna rock you? yeah, i think i have no chance to be honest, but we'll see. there's good cards in my deck somewhere. holy shit, i didn't take damage that turn. okay. dark orb's poppin'. keep'em poppin'. they're taking my orbs! i can live with not playing more than three cards per turn, but things are getting a little rough. let's summon an orb. 36 damage.
26:05 i have no choice but to pass away, i suppose. i have 35 health. all right, he kind of put his nuts on my head like gene kelly in the broadway review. need more frost? oh my god, shut up about claw and frost. we know, bro. we played the game in 2017. we know those are good. just chill. one hp away? well, yeah, but i did have to do 280 damage to him or something, so it would have taken us... i think it's a bit of a stretch to say we lost by one hp.
26:43 play a status deck? i'm starting to see why slay the spire 2 has so many negative reviews. is people decide what deck they're gonna play before they even see the relic and the cards that they get from the first fucking elite or the first god? you're really walking into this going, i'm gonna play a claw build? oh, i didn't get claw. negative review? that's sad, man. it couldn't be me. you sound like the philadelphia flyers right now. flyers, bros. is it over? um...
27:14 i'm not asking if they're gonna lose, i know they're gonna lose. i'm asking is it over? can the pain stop? okay, give me 333 gold. sixers are next to lose? you know what i've realized? and i apologize, drankman, if you're in the chat. half of the people who talk hockey are just talking hockey so that they can talk basketball. it's starting to piss me off. we're talking about hockey. we're talking about the flyers. nobody said shit about joel embiid.
28:05 i saw a drank man was in the peloton discord asking questions about hockey and as soon as i would answer the hockey question they would say, damn that sounds kind of like the new york knicks. and i'm like, i don't know, i can't meet you there. because i don't know anything about the new york knicks except patrick ewing circa like 1994. i just, i simply don't know. i hate to get three defensive cards on the first reward, man. give me a frost. did you have a bill simmons era?
28:52 thankfully, no. i think it's more of a... i mean, i was aware of bill simmons and chuck klosterman and stuff like that, but i think they were for... mostly for fellas that were a little bit older than me. they're more of like an elder millennial gen x sort of. my bad, i forgot how the game works there. fuck it, bro. i'm a believer. ahmad rashad era. we're talking hbo real sports here.
29:51 bill at least likes the nba. i'm not gonna get sucked into a debate on bill simmons because i don't know anything about him. i will say that i think for the good of society we have to start treating anybody that advertises like genuine gambling as an op. has to be done. except that one stream that dan did. i'll give him a pass because he's a personal friend but don't do it again. but otherwise... as a heuristic we have to start treating anybody that advertises gambling as an op. we need orbs whipping around faster.
30:42 eternal. eternal. bag of prep is crazy. enchant up to three attacks with sharp three. okay, i mean sharp just to have this on refract is at least something. and then we can take more multi hit cards. then probably simmer because we have one more shop coming up anyway. fuck it bro. what do you even do? apply afflictions on my cards so i can only play one skill per turn? rude ass.
31:37 two glass. no glass. true glass. thirty six damage. two glass. fuck it, bro. if he dies... oh, the glass does four! i thought the glass only did three. oh, i love this game! i'm 80 years old. who's this guy on my picture box? flip the channel, unc. 24 hour news is... statistical. i mean, if you're watching me on your tv, you're probably on, like, channel 9,000. so 24 hour news is definitely that way. press the down channel button.
32:23 on your remote. that'll get you to 24 hour news. heartbreaking by the way, my parents have digital cable. went over to my parents house this weekend, turned on the tv. digital cable was like the ninth box over. found out my mom and dad have been watching the free channels on samsung tv plus for like two months. oh no, no, no, no, no.
32:50 you got you got real tv. you don't have to go to the 15,000 free channels on samsung tv plus so i went to the home screen and i dragged hdmi one all the way to the left. it's like you don't you don't have to watch the cbc news network on samsung tv plus you can watch the real cbc you can watch murdoch mysteries i literally have no idea what this deck is gonna do
33:34 if you like ads? on the cbc it ain't so bad, cause all the ads are for other shit on the cbc anyway. okay, this is we're gonna learn this. what is the order? tell me the order. 3 4 1 2. thank you so much. cause there's a different one. it's actually 4 1 3 2? motherfucker, man. what a fucking wicked game we play. or some shit. you're already dead.
34:15 you're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye. okay, wait, we're mogging them? order was all fucked up there, my bad, y'all. no, wait, we still suffer no losses. huge. god, i hate seeing claw now. i'm not taking any claws out of fucking disrespect. we don't quote nicki minaj anymore? i won't quote her, but i will. when chat engagement is low, i'm not above doing that. what is that? i'm not 100% sure. to be honest with you, i'm not 100% sure.
35:31 shuriken is pissing me off because it's so perfect for a fucking claw build. maybe we are gonna somehow pivot this to claw. no, literally, pivoting builds is fake. pivoting builds is not real. you build your entire run based off of like your first two card rewards and never... if you ever... if every relic points in like a different direction, you go, oh, it's too late. it's too late for me to do that.
35:57 i would have loved if i'd known that that was coming, i would have changed up my whole fucking flow. but obviously it's way too late for me to pivot my strategy here. thank you for not drawing refract there. wait, we're kind of going sicko mode, bro. the venerable t set? too focused this turn for each unique orb? fuck it, bro. let's give it a try. that seems like yet again something else that's good with glass. it also seems like everything is good with glass. yeah, i'm not going to be upgrading two strikes, sorry to say.
36:39 i didn't cut the one with sharp, right? not really that bad, but kind of not the optimum decision. you're fucked, lab. could i have just killed you? be for real with me. could i have just killed them? who are we going up against? this is the one time when it would be so fucking good to go up against the vantum, by the way. you couldn't have, so don't worry about it. okay, huge. huge. and my god, they want me to fucking build claw, man. they want me to build claw.
37:35 a pharaoh with claw would have gone crazy. yeah, but what about a fecal with raw? you ever think about that? mix up the letters changes the meaning quite considerably. real. yeah, it wouldn't be as if you mix up the letters it wouldn't be as good right? makes you think maybe it wasn't that good to begin with what you said. somehow i doubt that? question was is this your handwriting type shit?
38:20 i had a spoonerism phase in high school. i know your ass has the arrogant worms as one of your top artists on spotify wrapped. don't lie to me, walt. i know you know more digits of pi than anyone else in your friend's circle. i'm not dying this turn. horrible decision on your part to not be intangible, bro. does this kill you? let's see. channels, so it does 30, and then it would channel two of these. it would evoke this. this would evoke for five, which means we don't die to beckon.
39:21 it does hp. beckon does hp. beckon does hp, it doesn't do damage. it does damage, it does hp removal, it goes through block. that run had potential too. super crucible! finally we can play the fucking game! i'll take a 50 50 to not lose 8. oh! fucking yes. yes! ship in a bottle. 5,000 hours by the way? i literally play this game because i make mistakes.
40:13 if it was, uh, if i played this game perfectly, i would stop playing. i'd probably be playing some stupid shit right now. i'd probably be playing dwarf fortress. going like, what's the optimum trait to put on my builder dwarf? some shit like that. i've never, i don't really know what happens in dwarf fortress, to be honest with you. horsepower in the game. destroyed. yeah, i think i would. i think i would take an upgraded tempest.
40:53 it's basically zap already, which is the best card in the game. oh, if you have frost, deal 6 damage to enemies. why the fuck did i take white noise, bro? none of the powers do anything. 4 lightning? math, motherfucker. it was like twi yeah, it gets there. it gets there. and we don't really have a reason not to take a claw, to be honest with you. in this situation, we don't really have a reason not to oh, that would have been really nice to afford that. fuck it, bro. we ball. storm? i don't respect it.
41:47 do like pendulum. that's not a surprise, but you know what? that's actually good because it means we'll get a treasure out of our treasure chest. charge battery slept on. i literally, i'm doing defect a20 on my phone on the bike rides right now. i literally take 15 of them on every single build. mattresses slept on. not in japan. they sleep on the tatami, i believe. for some reason i, motherfucker. i'm pretty sure if i did
42:37 dual casts first. we end up not taking damage there. maybe playing a little quick. ooh, two claws. he's an upgrade demon, man. worst relic? yeah, i mean bronze scales is pretty bad. this is where someone in chat is gonna come up with an edge case. oh yeah, really? what about on my barricade build where i have 999 block on every single turn? bet you didn't think of that shit.
43:34 or against the b guy. okay, actually that guy is kind of a pain in the ass. you might be onto something there. at some point we might have to take a fight through but that point is not now. me when i hate free damage every turn? that's not, it's not an apples to apples comparison. you have to evaluate it against other relics. opportunity costs exist. the el dlguiga, back me up here. wow, that was so much worse than i thought it would be. for some reason i thought for sure one of them was gonna die. huge, huge.
44:34 free yeti? yeti has to stop getting banned at the start of every stream. because the whole stream ends up being dominated by yeti not being able to chat. get banned like halfway through or like closer to the end or something. stop getting banned at the damn start. you know what, man? fasten me. fasten and then upgrade instead of resting. we can make this happen. they posted ascii? okay, now it's starting to piss me off.
45:22 this will be like the fourth time i've unbanned them for posting ascii. so now, and i've been a big proponent of the idea that you shouldn't get banned for posting ascii art because it is funny. that being said, doing it every stream now just because i've said that is now that's being very flippant. that's not the spirit of why i said it in the first place. they are abusing the bubble shield. that's a perfect way to describe it.
45:54 i feel like the bubble shield is getting abused. oh my god, give me voltaic. oh, give me voltaic. they keep popping holy cards. holy cow, isaac mentioned? feels like an origin angel stream in here. am i right, origin? i don't know actually. i think you were, yesterday i saw you were playing trees hate me or something. cat mario 64. looked like fun. i know that this sounds like an insult.
46:35 but it looked like such a day in game. i think dan would have a great time streaming it as well. i mean, creative ai can be kind of crazy. the thing is, it doesn't fit our zero cost build, but at the same time, it costing three isn't that bad because a lot of our most important cards also cost zero. sell me on this, man. sell me on the golden compass. it gives you two chests. that's huge. i had no idea.
47:19 so it basically gives you a random relic and then the path has three campfires and like two elites or something. two chests, three campfires. upgrade four cards would be a one. we don't need to upgrade four cards. we only have like two cards i even care to upgrade right now. yeah, sure let's do it man. upgrade four is like four campfires. yeah if you really want like to upgrade a strike, which i freaking don't. oh shit i do have juzu bracelet too.
48:08 you raise a good point. i don't want consuming shadow, man. please, please, please, please. yes! you know what? perfect timing. perfect timing. realistically, 200 gold to hold it. it's not like i'm using my potions anyway most of the time. it's an insult for a beast like me to not be able to get enough block here, but... well, it's a good thing we got these campfires because we will be resting. two orb slots. not even sure that's any good. you have to pay the iron price. you have to die. are you gonna die?
49:28 unknown as a present, impossible as a present. i agreed with the comment that said drawing really bad and then on the next turn we drew even worse. so maybe my last turn was that. maybe i'm just drawing the cards that i took. you still on the triple shower a day? see the thing is i would answer that but i saw you ask it yesterday. and the fact that you're like asking once i can forgive. asking twice indicates like an amount of curiosity that is beyond the norm. and as a result i don't feel like it's
50:13 i don't feel like it behooves me to respond, to be honest with you. but i'm curious now? okay, that's good. to be curious is to be human. now go, go cure cancer. now that you're curious, go cure cancer. get the hell out of my chat. this is big. i had extra energy. smokestack. this is gonna fuck you up, man.
51:08 you're supposed to, you see, dip daniel knows. you're supposed to ask twice max. once to check if he ignored it and a second time in case he didn't look the first time. that's exactly right. it's 100% correct. asking three times. is jusfln in chat? i don't know if that's the way your name is pronounced but there's like a serious lack of vowels. are they in the chat? when you ask too many times you kind of get you get a reputation for being an asker and i don't think that's a good thing. two is okay.
51:53 wait, feral? we're reconstructing the lost builds from base principles? what's our next combat? our next combat is an elite bro. i would love to upgrade my starting hand for 50 gold. so this is the same thing. you know what? at this point, i fucking would give you juzu bracelet. juzu bracelet has been incredible for us. i appreciate what it's done. now we get out while the geddon's good. whoops. ohhh, ohhh! mirrorclaw kind of pisses me off.
52:57 mirror clums, i do like mirror clumsy. that's a that's a bold ass play 220. dude, fucking regal pillow might hit the spot upgrade to call two skills almost certainly going to hit at least one defend maybe two duplicated fast and maybe give us time for our for our claws to actually get stronger. and the best part is we get immediately get a chance to see if it's good or sucks.
53:48 please just take the best defect card man. i hesitate before i say this because you're a subscriber. twitch viewers who only watch one game are so annoying. why aren't you watching the streamer play this game that you always watch play this game? why did you pivot from watching them play this game to watching me play this game so you could type the shit in my chat that you want to type in their chat? go to their chat and reference the video essay about the tier list. they're not a sub anyway. i don't have a pre listen. i don't have a problem with them. they ain't heavy man. that's my brother, okay? we don't talk about that shit in here. in in
54:26 you hear we talk about different stuff. tip color, tip texture. one of the most annoying things i think ever. i've been getting gaslit a lot. thank you by the way yesterday for having my fucking back when i said, kory do you think you get miranda july and kristen schaal when you're in the placebo group for the substance? and then he said they don't really look alike. he literally, i don't know why, i thought we were friends.
54:57 i honestly thought he might be my best friend in the entire world. and then he just for no reason, he's going out here and saying miranda july and kristen schaal don't look alike. like just, just, just, i don't know, just to ego check me or something. i can't imagine what other reason there would be. then you said, then you said, everybody in chat, you said they actually do look alike, which i greatly appreciated.
55:21 but one of the other things that i said that pisses me off and you guys gaslit me, i said the tip of your cock is made of something different than anything else on your body. there is no other part of your body that is made out of the same shit that they made the tip out of your dick out of. and you said your lips. no bro, it's not. the lips are not made of the same thing as the tip of your penis. they're both made out of different shit than the most of you, but they're not made out of the same shit as each other.
55:56 if your lips were made out of that shit, it would be like kissing a fucking statue or something, okay? and if the tip of your cock was made out of the same shit as your lips, i don't even know if you'd be able to work with it. there's some kind of, like, with a tree, you know, there's branches and leaves and roots and bark. i think it's the same way for us. and honestly, i think that's bark.
56:27 and the branches would probably be like our bones and the leaves would obviously be like maybe hair or skin or something like that but i haven't really, the metaphor i haven't really thought about it that far yet. anyway, um it just it like it it's it's not like agreeing or disagreeing with me that pisses me off it's when you misrepresent objective truth in order to try to ego check me that's what fucking pisses me off.
57:06 because you're denying fundamental objective realities of the universe just in it would what to get a pithy little own it speaks poorly about the the balance of your spirit give me two of these didn't you recently realize you don't know whether or not you're circumcised yes and now we're going to act like curiosity is a bad thing i'm obviously circumcised i'm just not sure if i got because i don't have the turtleneck but i don't know if i have the same
57:53 method of circumcision that all the other circumcised fellas have because the way people are talking about it is like i can't quite relate to it but it must be the same because i've never seen one and been like what's going on with that so it must be it must be the same they left the collar on yeah it's like they
58:23 you know, on a fucking like a... on a patagonia quarter zip, you can wear it up. i ain't wearing it up. i'm not david dastmalchian and doing part one. they folded it down. they folded it down to go like business casual. no, i'm not playing a claw on you, bro. did they roll up the sleeves? i don't even know how to reply to that. i don't know what that... i don't know what that would mean. roll up the sleeves. can i say something? the damn bronze scales are going fucking crazy on this one.
59:17 that was awesome. the bronze scales were really good on that guy. i don't think we need another charge battery. 20 cards already. deck's getting a little too fat to be honest with you. top tier relic? let's not go crazy. it's like, can we have a serious conversation? purity is not a rare. i don't even think it's a rare in this game, but it's a rare in slay the spire 1.
59:48 they were fucking, they were lying to us when they said purity is a rare. i'm not paying rare prices for purity, okay? zero cost, exhaust three cards from the deck, exhaust. that's not gonna happen, okay? if you give it to me for free, i might consider not skipping it. but i'm not gonna, there's no shot! there's no shot on paying uncommon prices, colorless in the shop for it. can i get a hell yeah? no, i really thought
1:00:23 i really thought i would just get the hell yeah no matter what to be honest with you. we need a voltaic in this deck and then we're in a really good spot. it wasn't a rare, it was always uncommon, whatever. you know what's uncommon these days? not looking at your phone as much as the average person. all right that was kind of swag. it's gonna sting a bit though. and common courtesy. can i say something? this might get me in trouble. do you ever think that
1:01:08 let me think about the way that i want to describe this. i don't want it. i want it to be unambiguous. nah, they ain't ready for that one yet. it's not about it's not about the tip of my penis. it's glib that you would even suggest that quite frankly. say a coward. i don't think i can. i don't think i can because you guys got so mad. not mad but you took issue.
1:01:53 when kate said, why are there so many guys who are horny that are like pussy, pussy, pussy, but there's so few women that are like dick, dick, dick. and i said, well, obviously it just speaks to the fact that pussy must be better than dick. everyone in chat was like, how would you know? and i was like, well, okay, fair. you kind of, at the same time, like it's obvious. it's like sherlock holmes. it's you, you, you use deductive reasoning.
1:02:24 by the way, i'm going in on rocket because i need to not get hit for 50 next turn, in my opinion. oh shit, eat dirt bro. feral's kind of crazy. you got 105 hp. we don't need another creative ai, that's just greedy. i love what he did on blurred lines. fuck it, we'll give this a shot. guy who really loves blurred lines but knows that robin thicke has been cancelled so only listens to the pharrell parts.
1:03:39 blurred lines minus robin thicke, just blurred lines instrumental. hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
1:04:39 burrell kind of bad too. he keeps doing the minions soundtracks. i don't really know what else he's in for, but you seem very confident. so i'm not gonna fucking take issue with that, i suppose. some of the minions songs go crazy. it's so insane that that happy is from the minions, man. or it's from despicable me 2 or whatever. like it's so...
1:05:15 but really, despicable me 2 sounds like more of something that robin thicke might be interested in. can i get a hell yeah? we got him. obviously you take scrape on that one. do we have a benefit from fighting or would we rather hit question marks? we don't have juzu bracelet bro, let's fight. this is a guaranteed one. we might as well just whoa, fuck, sorry brother. sure man, why not? who are we even fighting? test subject. well, i do want like voltaic in the deck.
1:06:03 i suppose i'll settle for... i got a double buffer. fuck this bro. this guy is cringe? are you talking about me or the slimed berserker? both? could be worse, could just be me. could be worse. what the fuck powers have i played man? i don't know where i am. one thing's for sure though, this guy's gonna piss me off. probably need to get shitload of fuck. probably play one slime. do you come back to me? no, you're not peg.
1:07:11 umm... damn, we got a lot of slimes in there. we need to get to our other fasten, man. it's just a regular ass enemy. i mean, he's severely pissing me the fuck off for sure. how's this guy not an elite in the statue is? okay, pump the brakes. the statue's in act 1. it's gotta be echo form's literally just more fun. we pass. okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
1:08:15 strike is removed from the deck. greatest day of my life. put the word out. i want them to know that we're back. is that what they say on the on the wire? they say some shit like that. i've seen the... we back up. that's right. put the word out. just watch the show. i'll watch the movie. i just don't know... fast and co... pharaoh cost one... i think you pass, man. i think you pass. 18 damage doesn't mean that much. that felt good though. damn! potion belt!
1:09:08 no combat, huge. i'll pay 72 gold to divine three times. i don't want to curse at this stage in my life. and we say fuck a relic, man, because i mean we're not even going to be able to... you have to spend all three just to get it. the hell is aerobic acid, man? i don't think i've ever seen this shit. this looks like the rarest potion in diablo 2. what did... when this motherfucker drops in diablo 2, what does it do? because i'm... like it's... it's like a thin file of golden shit.
1:09:43 it gives you infinite stamina. holy shit, it does look like a used condom. that's a magnum right there. i would like to enchant a power withdraw too. and then you're cooked, lad. stable semen. we'd probably rather have that than 15 extra damage, to be honest with you. i would say the more powers, the merrier too. so the gold, it turns out that gold does go bad.
1:10:36 what do you got for me? fucking smokestack, okay? so you could have just told me to fuck myself and save me the heartache. you know what? i'd really like to play the less skills the merrier, but it is what it is, man. you literally have to play fasten and then draw one defend. 28 fucking damage? sorry, every defend is worth like 12 defense. chill. chill, bro.
1:11:31 this is the only one that's even hard. we don't even need to worry about anything else. first time you draw status each motherfucking turn, you're gonna make me throw the fuck up. too bad for you i drew a defend. i've ruined your life by drawing a single defend. how does that make you fucking feel? idiot. oh shit. oh we gotta defend. still kinda nasty. you know what? we need to have a turn where we retain defense. play this, retain all your shit. we literally live.
1:12:43 okay, so not the greatest turn of all time. those claws are gonna be crazy one day though. we're drawing so many defense. don't play scrape because it'll just draw through them. put the word out. guys, we retained for too many turns. that was satisfying though. well, 5, 16 plus... that's not enough to keep us alive. you can draw nothing. it feels impossible. hear me out. iteration.
1:13:53 iteration, first time you draw a status each turn, draw two cards. draw five cards. you draw them. you draw them. then they get folded down and we draw two more cards. we play one defend and somehow we live. devs! devs! oh, maybe we didn't. we literally didn't draw any statuses. we didn't draw a single status. that's unbelievable.
1:14:45 that stings. it mostly stings because we had a fucking win. we had a win on our fucking stick like nate mckinnon in the gold medal game. life's a bitch and then you die. so true. that's why we get high because you never know when you're gonna go man.