Stone calendar, my beloved (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: Stone calendar, my beloved (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-15
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Stone calendar, my beloved (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 122 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-15Slay the Spire 2

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0:00 i didn't say shit about ontario by the way, i literally like ontario. it's one of the best places to go out to boston pizza and see lots of dudes taking their wives out for anniversaries and they're wearing baseball caps. damn, has slay the spire always been this quiet? or did i go like half deaf? okay, we gotta do some grinding today, y'all. because i have the necrobinder at level 9 and i have the defect at level 9 and we gotta get him up to level 10, man.
0:32 and i don't want to hear any any madness about the beta branch. okay, i understand that the beta branch had a patch. i'm not on it bro. we can enjoy the door maker for like another week or something like that.
0:45 it's that simple. why are people review bombing the game? i don't even want to go off on a rant, okay? but literally slay the spire 2 is one of the greatest games ever made. it has mostly negative reviews on steam and all of the negative reviews are like, don't play it because the door maker's too hard. are you fucking stupid? the door maker's literally the easiest boss.
1:05 the queen and the... experimental subject are too fucking hard. and don't even get me started on that motherfucker on act 1 who you have to hit 9 times before he takes damage for the first time. the door maker is easy, man! test subject doing too much? oh, anyway. we're moving on. is there no music in the game? why is it so quiet, man? you alt tat? no, man, i'm in it, look! maybe i'd...
1:55 i can kind of hear it. maybe all the blood rushed to my head and out of my ears or something like that. are you guys watching the blood of the lamb? i'm just i'm not even looking at what path i'm gonna take. i'm just scrolling. silver crucible means we want two combat early at a minimum. let's figure out what the hell we're doing with this fella. yeah, first reform mentioned. wasn't that the title of a coldplay album? i literally a, i wouldn't know. b, i know the title of one coldplay album and i think it's called parachutes.
2:49 but if you're asking me about parachutes, buddy, you better be talking about shugo tokumaru. oh, that's right, rush of blood to the head. that's right. that's the one with... they were spitting with that one. these are three beautiful choices, man. i mean, i really like haunt and then just adding as many souls as possible.
3:24 i love that song for real. you love clocks by coldplay? i mean, it's nothing. as far as coldplay songs go, you could do a lot worse. you could do a lot worse, don't get me wrong. that's huge. hold. love fallen kingdom? are you my daughter? don't answer that. you know, i don't know why i'm surprised with silver crucible that i'm seeing upgraded card rewards, buddy. that's what they do.
4:04 that's what they do is give you upgraded card rewards. i'd like to summon 9 and then exhaust and then literally just do damage. slug mode. did anyone else... are you guys smart? wait, how would you phrase this if you were trying to farm points? are you like me or are you intelligent? that's how we farm on this one. i only just found out that there are two different biomes on the first floor.
4:43 i'm a little embarrassed to say it, but did you know there's an under docks and then there's like a... i don't know, like a forest biome? i had no idea, man. i'm just being honest with you. the game tells you about it explicitly. yeah, i mean, what do you want me to say? who reads? well, like, a lot of people are reading, like, you know, romanticy and stuff like that, which by the way is fine, in my opinion at least. like, i don't even... i've played... well, you know, let me check.
5:28 i've played 82 hours of this. i can tell you the names of no enemies for one except for bosses and even the bosses i have to like triple check and then beyond that there are cards i still not only do not know the name of the card but i have no concept of what it does. i do know the shrink beetle. okay that's fair. i know the shrink beetle. preferred noodle.
6:00 now this is a fucked up turn, man. preferred noodle for me is ramen. i'm becoming more... i'm trying to think of what the right word would be. i'm becoming less axiomatic when it comes to noodles. i used to kind of be like a ramen noodle or bus sort of guy. now i'm like, you know, if i'm on an airplane,
6:24 and the meal has one of those weird little semi square soba containers with it, with the soba sauce. it's kind of like a sweet soy sauce or something like that. i would... i'll eat the soba. i can't believe we're not getting any cards with souls, man. like, they're literally trolling me here.
6:45 fancy? well, when you fly economy on like an asian airline, they actually treat you like a human being. now i'm not one of the things that's been hardest for me to accept as i've gotten older and traveled a little bit is that the like thing, frowny face thing, japan bat chest is like literally, actually, sadly, and i wish it weren't the case, but is actually true in a lot of circumstances.
7:14 so there's a surprising amount of so well i guess we're just dead, that's cool. surprising amount of circumstances where it actually is like, like thing japan is not gonna change your life necessarily, but thing thing japan can sometimes be better than the default version of thing north america for sure. now i'm not sure it applies to the family mart fried chicken, but anyway. i do like a random rare. the scythe ain't gonna do it without my scythe on! oh no!
7:52 glass noodles are great. listen, at this point in my life, i'm so like carb coated that i'll take anything as long as it's not fuck ass konnyaku or something like that. we'll play the site later, man. it'll happen, don't worry. have you seen a koreata movie? chad, i'm getting confused right now. koreata is the one that librarian is watching all the time right now, right? who's the one that did...
8:31 a big bald beautiful journey, which is easily one of the worst movies i've ever seen. but then everybody else was like, you've got to watch the other ones because that one's just this uniquely terrible. that's koganada. and then who did rental family? that's hikari. i would love to make a joke, but to be honest, i should be able to remember those three. that shouldn't be that hard. this should be easy enough. let's keep it. let's keep it punched in here. monolingual is literally not my fault.
9:20 it's society's fault for teaching me like the most op language first. if they taught me a less powerful language by default, i would probably be bilingual, but i might fuck it. i might even be tri lingual at this point. necessity is the mother of inventions, bro. but english is literally op. take another grave warden. why not? they don't want to hear it, but he's right.
9:58 listen, i understand if you're an idiot it sounds offensive to say english is op but they literally, it's on the sign in like every single country. like you travel almost anywhere in the world and english is on the sign. i'm not saying that's how it should be by the way, i'm saying like to be honest with you it makes you feel kind of bad.
10:17 it makes you feel like that's not fair. like i'm on, i flew across the pacific ocean. why the fuck is my language on the sign? like it feels problematic, but at the same time you're like damn, i guess that's where i go if i want to get to ikebukuro. so you take the good with the bad, you know? huge. dredge. are we dredging? dredging you.
10:53 i know you're not a physical media guy, but if you could have any blu ray, what would it be? i don't have an answer for that, but does anyone want to go to black dog video and then just buy like a fuck ton of criterion collection editions and put them back here? put them back here to virtue signal? mostly movies that i've never seen. i want to see right there, i want mishima, a life in four parts. next to that, twin peaks fire walk with me. boom. move it over one. seven samurai and then ran. the kurosawa double hit.
11:26 let's put do the right thing right there. okay, what are we going to have next to that? come and see right next to stalker, right next to solaris. festin, i think festin and yachtin right next to one another. maybe, might i suggest, right next to druk. right next to druk. is there a criterion collection? we need bo travai. we need bo travai up there. dredge is really good. let me think about this beast.
12:04 both of these, we need a couple copies of both of these. wally criterion. is there really a criterion collection edition of wally? i need that next to a new hope, man. yes, dude. you know what movie i actually have to see? thank you for mentioning it, by the way. a movie i actually have to see, because i saw it when i was a child, when it was just a joke to me because i was like eight, is babe.
12:44 and i don't know, like we're in this post ironic era where i also don't know if like babe, pig in the city is a joke or if it's actually kino. like i watched babe when i was like eight. not a good time to watch a movie with like a gooey emotional center because i was basically just like, it's a movie about a pig. it's you know, simple as. 13, you're doing 24. i think that means i can get to 23. i can live with 23 on this one.
13:27 i can live with taking a small amount of damage on this one. marley and me? no, i was like, i'm pretty sure that shit came out when the nlss was on. so like that shit didn't, it was not a childhood movie for a beast like me. can you take a turn? you don't take a turn off, huh? so i should have been attacking you this whole time? great. fantastic. awesome. that's wonderful news. just because it's a kid's movie doesn't mean it's a joke movie. you're not, um, you're not prepared for a babe pig in the city.
14:09 i never said it's a joke movie. i said i was eight so i treated it as a joke because i lacked the emotional depth to really interface with it on any level beyond this is a movie with a pig in it. i think you have me confused. when you're eight every movie is a joke? yeah except spider verse, buddy. we have to beat your ass red. it looks like that.
14:46 it has a 67 on rotten tomatoes. rotten tomatoes is a weird one. you can't trust it at all, obviously, but you certainly can't trust it for like a movie that came out before rotten tomatoes existed. also, yeah, now that i think about it, are you just trolling? are you just saying that because it's 6'7"? literally just kill me. we go again. it's that simple. scythe cheeks. it's literally awesome. i was just playing like garbage because i was arguing about babe pig in the city.
15:34 potion slot, two potions. winged boots can do something at the bare minimum. fern gully, fucked up movie for a kid to watch. i literally saw it in theaters, i think four times.
15:58 hello, tiny request. i enjoy the youtube videos, but could we cut out the two minute outro song? it kills my autoplay vibe. i have to manually skip it every time. thanks. librarian, are you here? we got one for you. this one, i'm going to direct your comment. thank you. we appreciate your call. your feedback is important to us. i just think that maybe on the phone menu, you hit the wrong button because this went direct to me.
16:23 instead of going to the going to the person that is most able to deal with your concerns. but that's fine. we'll redirect that over to the librarian you're good to go. how to strike nine block. love it. and then come back to life. next outro is going to be all of lateralis. i'm sorry to say am i pretentious? yes.
17:19 i'm literally not gonna play it. am i the kind of pretentious that listened to tool when i was in high school? no. perhaps even worse, i was the kind of pretentious that thought i was like too good to listen to tool. now notice i did not say it's a defensible position but it might have been the right call. that's all i'm saying. vivaldi listener? no, i was listening to some... i was listening to the pipettes. i was listening to suburban kids with biblical names.
18:06 i'm deliberately picking some indie bands that are not necessarily from the top of the barrel to also cast the lens of introspection on myself, so to speak. i'm gonna take another bone shards, man. remove a card at a guilty. would do so happily. someone still loves you, boris yeltsin? now that's something i have not thought about in a long time.
18:40 someone still loves you boris yeltsin. damn, we're going way back. you know what i always think about? what the fuck happened to battles, man? battles came, they dropped one album in the summer of 2007. whatever, did they ever come out with another one? they did one after another? the movie? the best picture? they're still making music?
19:06 damn, i gotta think about oh no, i see what you're saying. you're making a i thought i was a genius for making the reference. you made the reference first. fair enough. i hate this motherfucker, by the way. like a slithering strangler, hold me. you know what i'm talking about? stefan malkmusch? camera obscura, anybody? so yeah. camera obscura if they were john wick. so yeah, lloyd. i'm thinking i'm ready to be heartbroken.
19:48 that's on the peloton playlist. i just, i don't hear it that often because there's now like 900 songs on that thing, but it is on the peloton playlist. spoon in the anthony bourdain biopic trailer had me popping off. i haven't seen the trailer. what song is it? is it the way we get by? that seems like it would fit contemporaneously and maybe also with the vibe of, you know, cutting your teeth in the kitchen. spoon found in kitchen. hey, that's good. very good joke. very good joke.
20:26 you're fucking with the dismemberment plan? oh, we had a whole era. remember when there was the presidential doodles and there was like dwight eisenhower's was like a smiley face or whatever and then like jimmy carter's was like a horizon and then richard nixon's looks like the cover of dismemberment plans, emergency and i? it's our ost build. maybe our ost build is souls. and then we get the rare that allows you to summon every time you play a soul. fuck it, we need upgrades.
21:07 you ever have a dead kennedys phase? like to be real with you, i'm having it like right now. i remember asking justin, i was like, are the dead kennedys cool? he's my only conduit to the spirit of punk. and he said, eh. and i went, you know what, fuck it, not my problem. i'm gonna keep listening. i was like, that's okay. are we just dead?
21:47 it's crazy how much harder this game is on twitch than it is on youtube, man. on youtube we've kind of been fucking flying. you got to deal with youtube chat? you'd be surprised, man. you'd be surprised. three vulnerable makes a big difference. do you hate me? no, spinny boy, you're honestly spinny boy stocks have been coming up, but i can't remember why. you said something and i was like, damn, who said that? it was in the discord. and then i looked at it and i was like, oh shit, spinny boy.
22:38 i didn't expect that. it elevated your stock greatly. probably because they defend yeti to the death. it's not all about that. i'm pretty sure it was because they said something that... oh, fuck. order. i'm pretty sure it's because they said something that defended me, to be honest. yeti holds the key? their web connects us all. brother, what am i doing? what am i doing? this is where you just say, fuck it. kill me now or give me an incredible relic. this is, by the way, this is kill me now.
23:43 well, this basically does nothing for us. bone shards in harmony. bodyguard. bone shards in harmony. well, that's horrible. in theory, something incredible could happen. you literally can't get hurt if you just choose not to do the math. that's one thing you need to know about this game. i think this is the incredible thing. i can't take that many bone shards and harmonies, man.
24:50 or maybe i can and then just play it every if we could get snap and then give a bone shards and harmony retain we could theoretically have nine damage to everybody and nine block every turn which might get us through the combat on the second floor so you die, but then also summon two? not at all 19 hp 19 hp we run these streets man
25:46 who's our boss? oh motherfucker man! we just dude might as well not even fight him. there's no point. we have to do 183 damage, but also we basically have to do like 250 damage because the first 17 hits don't even affect him. huge. yeti's in the on ban request begging you to take a look. sorry man, i don't have a choice. yeah, i'm like, i'm working right now yeti, so i'm not gonna do that.
26:42 it's not the yeti show, okay? i'm happy to have all your messages. oh, wait, did you get... did yeti get band banned by emon? i saw origin in chaz, so there's a non zero chance. but they probably had their reasons if i had to guess. okay. now we... okay, seven turns in, we can finally start the fight. here we go. we're not dead. we only appear to be dead. 32 damage on this turn. that one's a lot worse for us, to be honest with you.
27:35 and then triple it? i mean there's still no hope like look look at what we've only done 60 damage to him yep okay fair enough
28:11 you built a deck? my brother in christ, you built a deck. my brother in christ, i chose from three options. if all three options are ass, then of course the run's gonna be ass. this is exactly, oh, what do you mean the sandwich sucks? my brother in christ, you made the sandwich. have you seen the tomatoes that they have at subway? the lettuce is brown and the tomatoes are green. what's going on? i made the sandwich, i made the sandwich out of the bricks that they built. put the right kind of sauce on it, it can still hit, it's true.
28:51 yes, tried the piri piri sauce. yeah, it's all it's just a thick or hot sauce, but it's okay. let's do it. okay, this time we need to get malf in the call. he's the necrobinder understander. you fucking with the ruffles sauce? in spite of myself, i'm a caricature. i can't bring myself to take any sauce on my subway sandwich that has like 180 calories per foot long. like eating 200 calories of sauce
29:30 alongside your footlong sandwich just feels like it's it's just too much. just too much. yellow mustard is like it's like four calories per per footlong that i mean it's not probably as good as the ruffle sauce if i had to guess but i'll pay 50 gold for an upgraded starting hand once first i really love burning sticks man. the first time you exhaust a skill add a copy of it to your hand i had this on a
30:12 on a silent run with adrenaline. so you would literally just play adrenaline and then you'd be like, you know what fucking hits after adrenaline? a second fucking adrenaline, bro. it's great. what do you think? wait, i gotta read this. what do you think your death trap would be if john kramer took you? is john kramer jigsaw or john kramer is the guy jigsaw is a puppet that's manipulated by john kramer. is that true?
30:44 um, okay. i 100% think that it would just be, well, i'm... like something's about to fall on me, okay? like a heavy anvil or something and i'm obviously strapped to a chair, immobilized in some capacity. as long as i talk, it does not... like the rope doesn't get any more frayed. but if i ever stop talking,
31:08 then like a knife gets closer to cutting the rope thus dropping the boulder on top of my head so i think it's a very ironic punishment for me would be like to be forced to filibuster until my inevitable death regardless i think i think that would make a lot of sense. what about a full blocking build? i mean doom sucks so much ass man doesn't he give you a way to escape? have you seen the movies like he he kind of gives you a way to escape but i
31:47 i mean, in some of them he doesn't. like there's some of the solid games are actually competitive like not everybody can make it out alive. they're set up like physical 100. might cost you a pound of flesh. i know we've had this discussion a thousand times. i weigh like 172 pounds. i think i could cut a pound of flesh out of myself without dying. it would hurt like a motherfucker but i think i could fill the scale. surely, surely i could cut a pound of flesh off of myself.
32:27 yes, i mean spread it out or like take part of both butt cheeks. i definitely think you take some off the front of the belly like no problem unless i guess like this body fat count as flat as flesh or does it have to be muscle? i think i could do it man. i think honestly in the shakespearean times it was different because they didn't have like modern medicine or whatever. and you got to do it in such a way that you don't bleed out and that might be the hardest part of all. i don't disagree. fuck it bro. call me beyonce. i'm going countdown mode.
33:07 you just, you better make sure that fucking the merchant of venice is not using the metric system. because if you got to cut out a kilo, you're fucked. when you randomize this card, well, i do really like slither, but we just can't make it work. let's get a, let's get a tauric toughness off a strike and try to build a defensive doom deck, man. could be the play. we bring the doom. that's what we do. i like that. i like that. who did that?
33:57 certainly we're not using bone shards on that one. nephew's blocking 12 for us already. afterlife with the burning sticks could be interesting, but actually negative pulse makes so much more sense for us. anyone else got toric toughness in their top three cards in the game? toric toughness is actually one of my favorite archetypes of cards. cards that when you look at them you go, it looks like shit, but then when you play them you win.
34:33 like there's so many cards in this game where i'm like the card reading it, it sucks. but then like when i have it in my deck, it goes up. my win rate goes up significantly. fuck it. we'll upgrade it. absolutely we'll fucking upgrade it, man. replay would go crazy. you're not wrong about that. replay would go crazy. or having some extra decks. that's also, that's very valid.
35:21 have you come around on reflect yet? no, reflect is like the exact opposite to me. it's a card that looks like it would be amazing and then every time i take it i'm like what the fuck my deck sucks. fuck it, if we're going defense let's try man. summon 5, gain 9. 50% more doom also comes. i mean dude that's a huge increase in doom. good lerd. let's take safe path. whenever you play a card that costs 2 or more gain 4 block
36:05 madea plays slay the spire. imagine bro. honestly, if machinima was still around, that could be like literally the biggest video. that could be in the top 75 videos on the front page in myanmar. so we have no aoe, huh? no, we have aoe. we have a negative pulse.
36:43 have you ever seen the rolex subreddit and how much these dudes bend over backwards for the watch they want? i have. i have seen, first off, thank you for bringing this up. i have seen the rolex subreddit, but beyond that, i also have a brother in law who's kind of a rolex guy, so i've heard firsthand what it's like. don't need it, bro. give him one of those. and what is it like? well, it's like a lot of luxury brands in the sense that
37:18 you might think that rolex is like a store where you go in and you go, i would like to spend a lot of money on a watch and they go, we're the store for you. what watch do you want? give me your money. here's the watch. have a nice day. but that's not how it works. you actually have to, if you want one of the classic high demand rolexes, you have to build up a relationship with your sales associate first
37:50 basically, and don't quote me on this, but my understanding is that you sort of have to just, they'll text you and be like, hey, we don't have your watch yet. but what we do have is like a jacket that might move you up the list to actually get the watch you want.
38:12 so you like buy the jacket or the bracelet or like a watch safe or something like that and then after six months, depending on where you live and your relationship with your sales associate, after like six months to two or three years you'll get the call where they go, hey that watch that you wanted three years ago is now available.
38:36 and that is why if i were ever to get a nice watch i'm not fucking with this kind of like artificial scarcity you just go to japan and get a grand seiko. you spend the same amount of money, which is unreasonable it's like a toyota corolla's worth of
38:53 money just to get something that you do only other dudes who care about watches care about at all and then you go get a grand seiko and then unless if you're a realtor you may actually have to get a rolex because then like your clients might be like oh shit this guy's got a rolex but if you're just like a guy you could just get the grand seiko instead or something like that but then maybe this will age badly and at some point that you'll have to do that as well
39:21 or you could get the richard mille, the one that looks like the factory that almost crushes padme amidala from the end of attack of the clones, where every time the second hand turns, like a hundred gears turn inside of the thing. but... well, you just get a garmin too. okay, garmin? i don't know what we're doing. we're building a defensive deck. we don't want to accidentally exhaust a soul with burning sticks though. ergo. ergo, we take fucking...
40:04 we take fucking friendship because we want energy and then we fight an elite. great opportunity to use a flex potion on this fella when you actually have some attacks, when we have some attacks that exist. 29 doom we can do we're never gonna play an attack bro. we're obviously never gonna play an attack. what do you thought? well, we could play an attack right there. this statue sucks. i don't even want to say this because i like i'm, you know, in the shit right now, but i think it might be the easiest to lead on this floor.
41:03 but it's probably the worst elite for the specific type of bullshit that i'm rocking for sure. you don't need to use the flex potion. well, maybe it doesn't even affect that or that. it did add five extra damage onto the basic strike, so that's cool. you know what? we get four extra. we basically get 11 block out of that. that's all right. you have four energy, my guy? maybe after the peloton ride. i love it. i love it.
41:51 this might work, man. stone calendar on a defense run is huge. you're absolutely right. silence chatters and nowhere is speaking. and this is nine damage to everybody. basically only creates a delta of three block. two block, cuz we're killing you who's already blocking seven. this is a delta of five block. means we take six damage, definitely not worth using plating. huge. but the damage you output? nah, i ain't sweating all that.
42:47 the damage that we have is dr. doom. i forgot to tell you, by the way, i saw... ah shit, this actually is gonna suck a lot. i saw avengers doomsday yesterday. i saw it while i was watching dinner. and he asked me anything about avengers doomsday. i'll tell you, i don't give a fuck. you can't muzzle me. was it good? i'm under nda. i can't answer. that's the only thing i can't answer. love it. how was the food?
43:41 it was, i mean, i was cooking so it wasn't as good as it could have been. let's just put it that way. did it scare you? yes, i will say it's literally, actually this, now the joke is too real because this is literally how people talk when they get early access to see marvel movies. they're like, it's literally, it doesn't just have horror elements. it literally redefines horror cinema. i never would have thought that sam raimi could have brought these elements to marvel, but here we are.
44:14 it's not just a good marvel movie, it's literally one of the best horror movies of the year. and you're like, damn, that sounds awesome. then all of a sudden you're like, why the fuck does it have a 59 on metacritic then? surely one of these fellas will die at some point. we get you next turn. oh, next turn's calendar! so true. so fucking true. i had three damage strike. not that exciting, man. me on may 31st.
45:16 i mean, what's the best day to see on your calendar? i honestly think it might be february 28th in a non leaf year. cuz it means that march is coming up and march, i mean, we don't need to add more energy by the way. we don't need to do this bid for the 5,000th time. but like moving from february to march is a huge fucking delta. that's not me say cuz i see you already going to reply. march isn't that good. yeah, but february is that bad, bro.
45:52 huge. whenever you play a card this turn apply three doom to the enemy. yeah, okay. all right. i mean, that's that does seem like something we're trying to build towards. it seems like it can make a lot of sense if we and then we get souls, but we also need to keep in mind that burning sticks could be super valuable for us. i mean, does pales legion work with toric toughness in the sense that instead of giving me a seven block
46:29 every turn for three turns it would give me 14 every turn for three turns that is that's enough to interest me and then the tooth i mean i would love to cut i'd love to cut these five but then that probably leaves us in a position where we can't kill enemies pales flesh you're not wrong. i have a slow death. so pales flesh is like free energy essentially
46:59 but do i need the energy? i don't feel like i need the energy that much, at least with the way it's constructed right now because i already have friendship. i feel like this will help us. here's my thought process right now. we take pale's legion because it means we will take a lot less damage from combat, which means we'll have a much better chance to upgrade, which means we don't feel bad about not taking the tooth. and then we don't take pale's flesh because our
47:31 our energy economy is already all right but what we do want is to get a really good skill that gets played first because at some point we do want a fuck ton of souls so that we can play oblivion and then a bunch of souls. i think pales legions to play but i you know with this guy this guy's kind of the goat
47:57 and then the real question is, how much confidence do you have in yourself, man? like, do you have the kind of confidence where you're like, okay, we got the chosen cheese. let's go fight like seven times and then fight an elite. i don't think so. i don't feel like super confident in that. in that case, i kind of like this side. that's a crazy path. goated scythe path though. okay. unfortunate, but let's play that.
48:40 goes to sleep for two turns, no big deal. honestly, i still wanna play it. now how are we gonna punch through that block? are we just gonna hope to draw doom at some point? this one's gonna sting. should have been the woman delorean and girl goo. i wish that i had read the girl goo part of that before i said it out loud. but i'm gonna give you a plus two regardless. huge. fuck it bro, we stall you.
49:46 oh shit, he got stunned from something. i don't think i did enough damage. how did the fella get stunned? oh, stone calendar! of course! the stoned calendar. is anyone going to see? i don't think you're evil if you go see the mandalorian in grogu. i'm just kind of like, i'm skeptical about its ability to gain success, i suppose.
50:18 because i feel like everyone was insNLy hyped after the mandalorian season 2 and then no one gave a fuck about the mandalorian season 3. it had three seasons? yeah, yeah, the third one is the one with jack black. so i should really... it's on my list obviously but i haven't gotten around to seeing it yet. chant up to three attacks... chant up to three attacks with sh... we don't do attacks. we don't give a fuck, man. every three turns draw a card. now that's pretty fucking useful.
51:02 but is it more useful than just cutting a basic defend and keeping the deck thin? i mean every three turns... yeah probably. yeah i would say yeah definitely. what the heck? honestly i need to make sure i put you in a position where i can kill you so i'm gonna use that potion.
51:37 saw a woman with a grogu tattoo on the 99 last weekend. let's just hope, first off, the 99 is the most famous bus or the busiest bus in vancouver. i don't know if a bus can be famous or if that's just my neurotypical mistalking, but in case you're not familiar, it's a very popular bus. let's hope grogu doesn't do like he doesn't go on that khaleesi arc. shit, bye.
52:06 um, because that'll be oh no, no, wait, because you no, you go yeah, yeah, you're gone. you're definitely leaving. on the other hand, we kind of fucking made you think twice about it. and he's gonna die off screen, i suppose.
52:25 but yeah, they're gonna feel mighty embarrassed if grogu fucking takes over king's landing and then there's like the mandalorian spreads his wings behind grogu and then people go. this literally is gonna be taught in film class for the next 100 years or whatever. that'll be rough. let's do it, man. oblivion's removed from your deck? nah. strike is removed from your deck. yeah. yeah, yeah, we could do that one. did you guys know darth jar jar's canon?
53:06 he was 21. yeah, yeah, yeah. in lego star wars season two, rebuild the galaxy, which is post disney star wars, is post the lucasfilm sale. yeah, they have darth jar jar in that. he's canon now. darth jar jar's canon. one more doom is pissing me off. give me a better block. he always was. any knowers in the chat? wade the dream! next turn gain 2 energy. 31 doom on yous already.
54:08 pales legion is back, draw a good card, literally a necessary card, but i don't know if i'd call it good in so far as. what does sleep do for pales legion? he just takes a little nap. it means that he's not active for a turn. i'm not gonna play negative pulse because we want to make sure we have toric toughness ready to go with pales legion next turn. or at least something, at least something good to go. we take none damage. he was sleeping.
54:52 was he sleeping? i thought he was just a puddle. not bad. torque toughness, last card. hold on it. he's got legs, bro? does he know how to use them? oh shit, he's back. i'm chilling. take some doom. take some doom. 142, 143. holy shit. that was not that bad.
55:31 read the first effect on this enemy, i'm begging you. first off, you made a reference to a meme, begging, begging you. secondly, i'm not gonna spend three energy to get one energy refunded, bro. this is literally how we end up in situations where those people on tlc are buying like 900 boxes of golden grahams and shit like that. long story short, you don't know what you're talking about. every deck is different, okay? unless you're playing the ironclad, in which case, of course you're gonna hit him. i mean, we definitely, i mean, we love toric toughness. we love it.
56:03 i think we need some economy on this guy. this is like absolutely horrendous choices, man. in the discard pile, not in the draw pile. i mean, we could have put one attack in there, i guess. it can't be just summon 18, man. it's summon nine, get it back in your deck and then play the toric toughness so that on the next turn we don't have to play any defense.
56:42 in theory, you're dead by the way. bro, we're all dead. it's a life sentence we got at birth. hold. i don't think we are dead either. i think, probably for me to suggest that twitch chat doesn't always know what they're talking about in a video game, but i don't think we are dead necessarily. this is not stone calendar turn, but we have enough block regardless. this is stone calendar turn. it's gonna fuck you up, man.
57:44 that wasn't bad at all, except for the potion usage which was truly awful. we still go tauric on this beast. joss whedon, every five times you exhaust a card draw a card. that's right, that's right. stone calendar merchant, me when i use the relics and cards that i was given to their full effect instead of just playing my biggest attack against an enemy every single turn. literally we don't take damage which is crazy but
58:46 get this going regardless. i'm literally not gonna, i'm not gonna attack. i'm not gonna take damage from thorns, bro. it's not necessary. i do wish i had friendship though. thorns doesn't go through block. i'm not putting oste on the endangered specie list is all i'm saying. doom must be a debuff, right? that's huge, though. it's insane. whenever this would be shuffled into your draw pile, place it on top instead. does it really say enter your hole? i'm putting this on toric toughness any day of the week.
59:37 it's the first time i've ever read the event instead of just looking at the options. okay, this is easy. don't play a block turn one. play a block, play tauric toughness turn two. play two afterlives turn two and one frantic escape. we're gonna need to play those. and then a strike. we're saving our pales legion for tauric toughness, if possible. it will never happen. get away from me. unleash would have hit for 40. we don't hit. that's the one thing i will never accept on this run. we do not hit.
1:00:42 and then dorked up just comes back around to the top regardless. insane, insane. and then we play our frantic escape because we just have to walk it back. we got to walk him back a little bit. and an oblivion and a delay. we're taking no damage. frantic escape him. get him further away. 34 damage. 34 damage is bad. we're chilling and we're frantic escaping. guys, it's literally working. i mean, he's fucked, man. he's dead next turn.
1:01:48 this is tony shalhoub. i think that have you seen doom? i'm just i'm not trying to make you feel bad. have you seen doom? tony shalhoub isn't in it unless he plays the worm. it's got to be seance. seance, you said doom buddy. so i was thinking about carl urban because i'm going to see mortal kombat this weekend for the ninth time. um, transfer. i had a friend in the 11th grade who was obsessed with doom 3.
1:02:30 i've never heard him more disappointed in my entire life than when he went to see the doom movie in like 2005 when it came out. and literally he was like, the movie sucked. the only thing that was awesome is like the last 30 minutes take place in the first person, like it's a first person shooter. yes, with the rock and with karl urban. bro, what did you expect? i mean, he was a true believer in the doom universe.
1:03:03 i'll level with you, i don't think we give a fuck about the ethereal copy of the first attack we play every turn. he has the rock has been churning out pure garbage for i mean at this point more than two decades at this point which is is absolutely insane. it's gotta be this. jumanji was kind of good? yeah i mean i actually agree but it did come out like 12 years ago at this point. pain and gain is good? yeah but that one's even older man.
1:03:55 you unplayable eternal. since when did i, oh, i had this in my deck from the begin with. cannot be transformed or removed. so if i try to transform greed, what's going to happen with it? it's going to just be like, i'm still greed. no, it works. you can transform in combat, but it won't. i see you transform in combat, but after combat, it'll be like, oh, you thought, okay, i get it now. why didn't you say so? um, 26.
1:04:29 i mean a sleight of flesh very necessary for boss fights maybe not so necessary for basic combat. okay, i can live with that. the other guys was incredibly good it came out in 2010. i'm sorry i'm not i'm literally just
1:04:54 that's 16 years ago. the people that were conceived at that movie are literally t boning motherfuckers on the road looking at youtube shorts while they're driving right now. he has to be in something else, man! that's true, he's also in the other guys for like six seconds. now, he's a very memorable part of it, but nevertheless, i'm not fucking with the rock. and batista, you're on notice. i'm not saying fuck batista, by the way. i'm not saying fuck batista.
1:05:23 so many times i say shit like this people go, why is he saying fuck batista? i never in my life did i say fuck batista, but he needs a couple more roles. he needs a couple more non stuber type roles for me to truly buy in. jason momoa is truly lost though. can i, so i'm, believe it or not, i'm a heterosexual male. i know sometimes i talk about penises because i have one.
1:06:06 so don't get it twisted. so i need people in chat who are attracted to men and i know it's different for everybody but deep down it's probably all the same, right? is jason momoa really hot? i need please be so fucking for real with me right now. is he really hot? i don't mean like is he really hot, i mean like is he verifiably hot? seems like the chat might be split. extremely. he's a type? unbelievable question.
1:06:48 like if you were to ask me, i'm a heterosexual man, who's the sexiest man in the world? stephen merchant. okay? so that's why i'm asking chad, who is more of an authority on this shit, who is jason momoa actually hot? now to be fair, he might be getting a debuff because like most of the... jason momoa, when i picture him in my head, i'm picturing the garbage man from the minecraft movie, which is probably not his best look. wait, this might be huge.
1:07:20 because we get to play it twice if we draw it early. he's hot but i wouldn't say i'm attracted to him. okay, okay, i understand, so to speak. my friend is jason momoa's personal assistant. i can ask him questions. please don't ask jason momoa's personal assistant if like he's hot. that's crazy. i don't really have that much curiosity about jason momoa if i'm being honest.
1:08:00 i mean, not to, you know, damn him with feign praise or anything like that. i just don't... i'm not that... what would i ask him? what was it like to be on game of thrones? like, what's he gonna say? he can't be honest. he's compromised. i'm just... he's the one for me where i'm like... i... well, play that first. people online are like, he's so hot. but i'm like, i need to ask 8,000 strangers to verify for me whether or not this is actually true. huge.
1:08:50 he has a cool rv? is that part of it? i'm asking you honestly, it might be. man, this is gonna suck ass, man. that is part of it. i'm learning new shit every day, man. every goddamn day. stone calendar, my goats! we don't need another delay. we need more draw, if anything. motherfucker. retain? any retain? okay, that's actually incredible. probably should have played oblivion first now that i think about it.
1:10:02 you're doing 40 fucking damage? like, are you... are you fucking joking? 40 damage turn... turn two or whatever? turn two what? wait, but we don't take damage, bro! we don't take damage! i'm just saying, i think he... he needs a shave and a haircut, man. i think a shave and a haircut could really up the jason momoa stocks. that's not his brand, baby. everybody likes the smell of their own brand, baby, yeah!
1:11:05 i want you toasted next time. you need the doom, then you play a soul, you're killed, you're doing 18 damage which is nothing. i'm putting up a fuckload of block and then counting down to ecstasy. is pull aggro bait? i don't know if it's bait but i would be so happy to play it if i had like infinite energy. i like a tidier grooming regimen on a man. listen nobody asked for my opinion but that's what that is what i'm trying to say.
1:11:57 but maybe the straightest thing i could say is that i think if i was to choose which man i think is sexy, i would try to choose a man that's predominantly hairless. at least from like the nose down. maybe from the chin down. i don't have to think about it though. it's kind of complicated. and i bet it changes day to day. i would also guess that it changes day to day.
1:12:29 i bet there's days where you wake up and you're like maybe i'm feeling like jason momoa today and then there's like maybe maybe five out of seven days you wake up and you're like it's not really for me but then like maybe something you had for dinner last night or like the kind of sleep you had affects it i don't know. well i'm not duplicating my deck so yeah okay well they downgraded toric toughness and upgraded toric toughness so i'm feeling like that's that's a dub. choose an attacker skill to enchant with royally approved. so i mean
1:13:11 the problem is we would lose perfect fit, right? because you can only have one enchantment on or maybe you can't even do it, overwrite it. maybe you're just stuck. so what would we want first? wisp first does give us two energy on the first turn for free, which is really, that's something interesting for sure. delay? i don't want delay on turn one though. i want to draw toric toughness. wisp already retains? yeah, but i want to play at turn one.
1:13:49 or a pound, yeah, i mean, sleight of flesh early i guess could be good too. turn one draw sucks already. well then i just, i'm putting it on anyway and then we'll just retain it. and if we draw good stuff then we play it and we feel good about ourselves. holy shit look, bow bow bow bow bow. bag of prep crazy. i will serve as today's decider. sure man, i'll add a doubt to my deck and transform, maybe we should transform pull aggro in a basic defend.
1:14:50 please, please, please, please, please, please, please. add replay to a card in your hand, it costs one extra. reave? i mean, more souls is good. you're right, bone shards should be out of here too. transfigure add replay to a card. i mean, replay on tauric toughness would go insane if i could have the energy to play it. the thinker. the problem is, i don't think you wanna... you need to save block. so even though it makes your turn look like total shit,
1:15:37 i think you just do that and then you're gonna wisp, you're gonna oblivion, you're gonna wisp. joss whedon let you draw a card, do nine damage, play a card, do another nine damage, hit you with this. okay, at least you're gonna die after one turn. and us being weak doesn't matter in the slightest. it does suck cuz if i had played oblivion one early, i think you would have actually taken lethal but alas, what's done is done. replay cost extra literally doesn't even bother me. make seance cost extra.
1:16:28 and get that shit pumping bro. and then don't play scourge. worst toric toughness in human history. i wanna cry. don't play your souls. unless, not pass on it. the galaxy's on orion's belt, huge if true. if that mods, if that's not real, i wanna see them, i wanna see them perma'd yesterday. gain zero block, gain zero block, fantastic. whatever, you're dead regardless. there's a part of me
1:17:31 it's a part of me that thinks the enemy losing 11 strength might keep us alive. i would certainly, i would certainly give you 100 gold for a random relic. jaws paper is actually saving my life from time to time. i'll give you 100 gold for lantern, that's huge. you don't pay me enough to ban people who say incorrect things. okay, but lucky for them, the galaxy actually was on orion's belt. i just finished the movie. transform bone shards. another sleight of flesh, man.
1:18:24 sorry. sleight of flesh. we'd rather have more doom early than slightly more... well, it doesn't fucking matter. give me this, then that, then this. and let's just give you some summons and then hopefully just kill you next turn would be huge. love to have a sleight of flesh out there. you gotta go all in to play it early. okay, that's fine.
1:19:00 and then a delay to give us some energy, but don't play your other wisp yet. 51 damage, a little nasty with it. definitely gonna play a tauric toughness. transfigure kind of impossible to justify at this present moment. admittedly, transfigure working with a power would have been swell. you know, i think about the future, man. it does make you stronger, of course.
1:19:46 take 11 strength off. yeah, not really 11 strength, but so be it. 40 damage and a debuff. ain't chance i could just fucking kill you. i'm literally chilling on this. the only thing i can think of might be worth taking just a little bit of damage to get a doubt out of the deck. but then you've got to fucking die, man! oblivion and a bunch of souls? i'm going in. don't even play the soul. save a soul for the next round. 33 damage, but a beautiful tauric toughness.
1:21:03 not even sweating it. a soul. a seance that dumps a greed. we have another soul. fuck it, take one damage. save the wisp to work with oblivion. oblivion. enfeebling touch goes insane. you're asleep so you can take that? more for the future. you die to doom. okay, okay. what the fuck do you do on this turn? deadass, bro. you play toric toughness to get more block for the future.
1:22:00 and then try to draw into séance? i think it's too risky. infeabling touch, absolutely insane. apply some doom. apply some doom. you're just gonna let that potion sit there? i don't attack. i don't attack. i get no benefits for using a potion. wounds? no, you know what? séance or bodyguard then? we played oblivion this turn. i feel fine playing that. toric... wait, toric is gonna cycle back to the top of our deck.
1:23:12 drink it if you got it. discarding, drinking, not using, exactly the same ev, exactly the same ev on that, just so you know. we don't wanna draw anything. we don't wanna draw tauric. we apply seven more doom. this is a debuff. this is a debuff, so it does one extra damage. and then we get tauric next turn and we feel good. and we play nothing. wait, we have, we play nothing. goopler's kind of the goat. i'll be so fucking for real with you.
1:24:12 there's two relics that i slept on that are actually awesome and i thought they sucked. one of them is the goopler. pale's legion is actually insane. the other one is the diadem. and i forget the name of the god though, it's the one with serra angel. the one where if you play two cards, you take half damage. two cards or less i should say, you take half damage. maaaan, it's good. that is a classic. i did what i must to maintain order.
1:24:50 the mcdonald's cashier explaining they can only lock in if they have their airpods in um okay we'll slash marker that sds2 one