Zhengsun farmed a 13 minute gleipnir (Road to Empress 2)

Name: Zhengsun farmed a 13 minute gleipnir (Road to Empress 2)
Uploaded: 2026-06-17
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Zhengsun farmed a 13 minute gleipnir (Road to Empress 2)" (Road to Empress 2) — 90 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-17Road to Empress 2

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90 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 just rumors. i think we might have to go back one more step. mother fucker. i'm at plus one favorability! i'm at plus one! i'm at a net plus one! how could she kill me? oh dear, the empress had already run a background check on you. yes, it's true.
0:46 i'm not a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i'm a real person. i
1:19 you have no choice. you have no choice. otherwise she'll kill you. i've seen it happen. you gotta get in on the ground floor.
1:52 the perfect smokey eye.
2:28 oh, we've been reborn. i'll claim my identity by tapping the screen. i bet it feels good as fuck to know that you're going to make it out of the temple because next time you go to like meditation or something, you're like, it's like your last day at your summer job when you're in between years of college.
2:51 and like you're having lunch and you're like, you losers gotta be here tomorrow. i'm going back to college. and then, plug in may 1st, next summer rolls around and they're like, well, well, well, look what the fuck cat drug in. how's that college working out for you college boy? looks like you found yourself right back here. oh, you hold it. okay, my bad. i was like, damn, maybe it's a pole.
3:29 we've taken our first steps to the throne. what matters most to you? i want it all. the love of the emperor, the throne itself. on the next episode of road to empress,
4:05 what the hell is this? we didn't even get this on the other path. we were rebuilding the peony from base petals? the phoenix feathers. ooooh. damn, it's crusader kings, man. and lucy is still alive in a weird way. it's actually like a better outcome for her.
4:51 oh, i see. i'm going to take you to the next station. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there. i'll be there.
5:36 damn, who are you again? because last time i checked i was the emperor.
6:17 yeah, maybe she's having a great time being a nun. the mind of a woman is a mystery. i know she was in prison against her will and she was getting her ass beat like every night. but maybe the solemn duty of prayer is like healing her spiritually.
6:46 the emperor does look a little bit like seth macfarlane. it kind of looks like if you'd made seth macfarlane into a me, but then had the eyebrows just like tilted up a little bit instead of flat. i could see that. i'm not seeing it, boss.
7:15 have you seen a picture of seth macfarlane recently? nah? well then, who asked? i didn't pay attention to that at all. ummm... next please. summer in the second year of yong hui.
7:57 the unfathomable rear palace. two. one. chat, whoa whoa whoa. avert your gaze, chat. avert your gaze. it's literally hot as fuck. there's smoke coming off of the water. it turned into a damn gamjatang.
8:45 i think you're gonna need a lot more water than that. oh no! she said her name was mona lisa.
9:33 photoshop sketch filter my j hope is here
10:07 this isn't i guess how we do it these days, but still. still is not awesome. man, what the hell's your problem with the damn hocus? oh shit.
10:46 that was your consort gang, your aunt. i remember we saved her face with our la roche posay, right? that's right, we did the body swap. but then ruer, she's kind of an op. she killed us. well, i don't know if she killed her. she fed us a lot of soup, but she didn't order our death, i think.
11:20 she's your ride or die? oh, never mind. she's our friend. oh, that's right. isn't she super hungry? she's constantly eating. she's kind of mac coated.
11:49 what the hell about? i mean, i feel like we should probably slow play it. aren't you the one who saved us from the temple? we don't want to leverage our power too much. i think we got to save ling long, but not admonish our aunt because then our aunt will kill us. so we got to kind of just toe the line.
12:25 or better than the solitary live is enough. that's true.
12:46 this is how people talk to me. if you're like 28, people talk to me at age 37. i show up in chibile's chat at like 7.15pm and people are like, shouldn't you be in bed? motherfucker. shouldn't you be out of bed?
13:08 the wright brothers were 32 when they invented heavier than air travel. one of them was 33? exclamation point, 33 immortals. my life belongs to your majesty. let's not go too crazy. just say i actually love doing chores.
13:43 so you should give me more chores. that's ridiculous. chores are the worst thing that's ever existed.
14:25 don't say i wish that was me. could i possibly? would it be too much to ask that i play yuzu?
14:45 the lowly servant who gets stepped on repeatedly by the beautiful empress wang. if you don't have anybody, if nobody else wants to play yu tzu, i suppose i could, i could deign to do it. doing colonoscopy prep while watching this shit's crazy. brother, you have my unwavering sympathy and support.
15:15 the worst part is i know why they do it. i know why people lie because they don't want to, they, they don't want to lie. they don't want to tell the truth and say that the prep is nothing because then you'll be less likely to get a colonoscopy, which could actually catch something early and save your life.
15:34 you have to be on like seeing all the comments online that are like the prep is actually not a, i was so scared of the prep and it was no problem whatsoever. they are lying. you should still do it, but the prep does suck. the only difference of opinion is what part of it sucks the most. for me, the shitting was like pretty standard because i had all i would had to get the colonoscopy because i was shitting 12 times a day.
16:02 so for me, the drinking of the fizzy lifting juice, drinking like two gallons of it in an hour and a half or something like that was hell because it feels so horrible going down. but it's not good. and then also, i mean,
16:21 there's the pooping, there's the texture and the flavor of the drink, and then there's, i mean, the hunger as well. god bless if you got an afternoon colonoscopy appointment. mine was at like 7 15 in the morning, which was awesome, because it meant that i got to sleep twice during my fast. and even still they were like, oh, did you have some apple juice? and i was like, yeah,
16:48 it said on the form that you can have apple juice. so i got the apple juice that's ingredient was just apple. and then they went, oh, we didn't mean that one, but it's okay. then you've got to adjust the verbiage on your pre op instructions, okay? it said pure apple juice. what you meant was some, the allen's apple juice can that is just water and food coloring and like two drops of vinegar or something like that. that's what you meant.
17:28 you probably got cider? purple phil! you've been watching me for 37 years! i know the difference between juice and cider! i mean... ride, uh, uh... what are those bikes called? i didn't ride a penny farthing down to the farmer's market against some unfiltered apple cider from farmer jim. i got pure apple juice at the grocery store. pu ji.
17:56 that is a classic shenma situation. chancellor jingshan, you're making me look bad, bro.
18:33 leathers are highly unorthodox. we're supposed to use the treasury to purchase jade hairpins.
18:54 oh shit, that's a battle of worlds. it's true, nobody likes you when you're 23.
19:19 biju yu ni, you are the only one who is in the world. you are the only one who can be a part of the world. what? you are the only one who can be part of the world. i will not let you go. i will not let you go. i will not let you go. i will not let you go. i will not let you go. i will not let you go. i will not let you go.
19:46 whoa da guy!
20:24 i know his ass. he's like, i thought they had kept some solid food around here for the emperor. don't even have any roe chuan? just soup over and over? it is, you know, it's a good point. it is cold as fuck in there.
20:54 serve the ginseng soup in the jade dupegi.
21:35 when your ex is your server. that's awkward. it's awkward for both to be honest, cuz last time they met they were kind of like on the same level. now there's like an expectation. and you can't tip because counselor jang sun won't open up the coffers to even help the, he said, if we tip them, they'll just lower the minimum wage even more.
22:05 we're actually helping them by not tipping them. my haters are my waiters at my table of success, eric adams. hang on, his bars are this fire? crazy that in china if someone's three weeks older than you, you have to refer to them as your majesty. or like your entire life.
22:46 just a reminder on scroll 32 of the company handbook subsection jiao ling it said randall asked tattle tail, peacher's pet, consort's pet
23:26 forgot to put a cover on the tps scroll. yeah, sure. how do you say cover on the tps scroll in mandarin? i'm prototyping chinese bill lumbergh right now. sure. is there something you want me to do? well, the left is a little forward.
24:15 let me gain status by bearing your child. that line would work on a lot of people. i would say... can i tell you, i forgot who we reppin'? we're reppin' the empress, right? at least try one? okay, let's give it a shot. no!
24:45 nosey ass. xiaojie. intaikuchi, mame. ooh, intimacy plus 99 though.
25:18 by helping her become the empress! it's a fragile life we lead. i love that this guy has a catchphrase. i think the first villain that... you always need like kind of a like an effeminate
25:56 assassin that does yeah that serves a little bit exactly so just to add a little characterization not as good as the soup. well, we've only seen his story star man. his story is only just begun i think we're looking for your majesty should see the empress more. bisa charlie's on shore. won't hold will charge local to the push only bisa. i should know don't you pay my heart? how can you hang on? caught us a honey site
26:32 i don't wanna be with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
27:23 by ah yi. only a friend, peter parker?
28:08 you know he's walking away going, fuck. well, i am still the emperor. things could be worse. could absolutely be worse. plus five is big.
28:43 surely that could protect us from two and a half to negative 45 murders. and then he looks away. he hits her with the... it's the airplane sick bag. when you're the emperor, you get to clean your hands in the pillowcase. she and the empress are about to dine. you decide. i'm gonna wait for her instructions.
29:59 otherwise, i mean, there was like an equal chance that these were going to things were going to go down differently. it was either going to be, um, i serve them and then she goes, you're above your station. how dare you serve without waiting for the empress to blah, blah, blah. or i was going to wait and they're going to be like, are you stupid? you've been a servant at our court for long enough. get the soup. and then all of a sudden these travel travel.
30:30 you gotta serve, that's true. it might be the emperor, it might be his queen, but you gotta serve somebody. i don't cosign this, by the way. i think that's a very antiquated way of thinking. her ling long does not represent my opinions, okay? she just happens to be part of the game. i already didn't like her, to be honest.
31:16 oh shi he popped aoe before the boss fight. his majesty is getting dressed. this is like when you're at the doctor and you have to put on the hospital gown and they're like we'll give you a minute to change and then like before you even got your jeans off they're knocking and opening the door going are you ready? like
31:45 i was in the waiting room for like seven hours. you can't give me like at least two minutes to take my clothes off and put the robe on? like just cut me a little bit of slack. so fuck me, exactly. fuck me for wearing a belt and a shirt with a button on it. damn, they really can't do shit for themselves, huh? he's like, oh, she's gonna know my feet are weak.
32:19 my feet fucking stink. rain today at these paper shoes. he's right just like his stinky painting. reeked of musk. have fun you two! awkward ass. the unfathomable bull rear palace 2. 2!
32:58 chemistry is off the charts here. li zhi and empress wang are seriously giving colin farrell and margot robbie in a big bowl beautiful journey. so what did they have in common? they both liked soup?
33:31 i see you, emperor. i see your dirty trick. i'm sorry, emperor. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.
33:59 we're sure to see the decision. i'll hold it as a show. i yeah, she goes with jimmy. what's it? she's adding water. he bought you a full yeah. she will hook away for a quick i'll go on to pay people. i think we'll just have a introduced it like a bloodborne boss. no food or cindy. she way she changed. but then this is one of those ones where you get their health bar to zero and you're like, okay, where's the real boss? and then it's like you get like 10,000
34:29 what echoes? and you're like, oh, i guess that was the real boss. okay. okay, that's kind of awesome. the little kid in the sopranos fit is kind of incredible.
35:04 awkward. i've just saw a great scroll on stick and ball tactics. my stick and hoop game has never been better. it's gao yong. she's still mourning.
35:49 or as we say in mandarin, she's still... i must remain silent. i cannot forget my station. she will find you in all timelines. in another life, i would love to just sit here and drink soup with you. she's blowing up my damn spot.
36:36 i'll open remember for future payback we can't see the tissue lies because on a single team you can agree that adam into a
37:08 hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. i thought gao yong was our friend. you missed a lot. you missed the one bald character in road to empress one. the virtuous bald monk. you know i did. they kicked me out the damn temple. couldn't keep my vow of silence.
37:45 this seems like a scene before we die. she's thinking about the newest nl stream. i can't stop... they threw a damn gas grenade in the room. one hour later... let's put a smile on that face. i gotta take you to the bank, mansour wu.
38:40 to the laughing bank. i was really hoping we could actually like reference this later, but... killian murphy in red eye? ooh! if you held the flight attendant, your dad dies. blood simple voice? that's more like um... well, hell ma'am!
39:13 if i see him i'll be sure to give him the message that's that's mm at walsh. killian murphy's got a little bit more is a little higher in the register i think all of these are kamala? well, man i see him
39:41 that's more like that's as close as i can get to kamala. which is i'm not saying it's a good impression, but it might have enough to get over the line. you're not god or my father or my boss.
40:13 i fucking refuse. make me. the villainous lucy, she's ba in the shangong robes, no less!
40:50 fuck you! she's gonna oh, there's going to language! language! and for that she must die.
41:33 we're on the right side of guards cortisol spiked
42:29 yan ji is the bald monk by the way. you can remember because it's the closest name in the game to ryan. we must burn the note so that no one knows that we're in cahoots, but remember the details. yes, burn after reading mentioned! not quite peak coen brothers, but still really good in my opinion.
43:04 and then you know she's pulling up at like 1245. gao yang's like, um, nice of you to join us. oh shit!
43:46 i'm not a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese. i'm a fan of the chinese
44:25 this is when i be hitting her with the, um,
45:10 you decide to we must report it because she was eavesdropping she needs to know oh
45:46 you see that is a good that's a good proverb. motherfucker. not this bullshit again, man. previous content not viewed? yeah, yeah, no, i viewed it. oh no, sorry, never mind. this is the itchy you think he's got a line for the itchy? that's one itch. oh my goodness. god.
46:20 i think we've all been there. it's not nearly as good as the... oh, isaac aziz, she scratched her back.
46:56 so much that she died. so it was like a backstab. everyone fondly called you the consort of stabs. you itchy dog that bites its master. what? is that like beer fest? i bet you you're scratching like a dog who would bite its master. you itchy dog who bites its master. forget it. tomorrow's a new day. that's damn true. if it ain't one thing, it's another man. getting on my damn...my damn nerds.
47:33 don't open the door, that's where the fire is! you're gonna let it in! he's just boning it in now. couldn't have said something like, careful, i checked the weather forecast. there's a killer heatwave inbound. okay, so we have to, there's no other solution, we have to slap her.
48:18 i didn't slap you, my boss slapped you! rage plus 99 is crazy, because doesn't it in monster train it gives you like plus 5 damage per stack. i'm pretty sure even a basic strike will take me out at this point.
48:52 it's like her seventh time in prison.
49:21 good thing they didn't have three strike laws back then. she changed the luigi perp walk. they got her out there like mangione. your majesty, you must upload justice for me. it's been at least ten minutes since i've heard... d a n c e.
50:04 that's true, she forgot her station. oh shit, i do have no proof.
50:35 now turn on the charm. confront consort zhao and defend the empress's innocence.
51:09 i really deemed the consort of time travel. yishang strange. you guys are obviously in love! can't you see it?
51:41 damn, 108 rage? and she got sent to her room?
52:20 i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure if i can be a parent. i'm not sure
52:58 instant favor? it seems like this would punish us for being greedy. we gotta play hard to get to win him over. strategy plus one. i'm literally farming points off of him. heart racing. yeah, yeah, yeah. well, let me check. one second here. i gotta log into my own watch.
53:54 my heart rate's literally 69 right now. actually it was a little above average. uh, whoa, whoa, we gotta save this for tomorrow though. i gotta get out of here and have some lunch.