I need some of this garb (Road to Empress 2)

Name: I need some of this garb (Road to Empress 2)
Uploaded: 2026-06-12
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "I need some of this garb (Road to Empress 2)" (Road to Empress 2) — 74 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-12Road to Empress 2

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74 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 one last bit. we tell the truth again. but actually this is too much intel. we tell a lie of omission. yuan lichen set a trap, the prince of wei returned injured. true, but we don't tell them that they formed an alliance. we leave them in the dark a little bit.
0:37 oh shit. he sussed us out immediately. plus nine? that's not plus 99. we could live with that. that's 11 times, oh so it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter whether the suspicion is plus nine or plus 99. the consequences are the same. i guess i'll tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
1:21 so help me buddha. you know what? that's true to life. you trust builds slowly, but it breaks very easily. you might have to be honest 99 times in order to offset the pain of one lie. can we get a chinese proverb for that?
2:05 why is he holding a dog? because the stone floor is cold as fuck bro and they haven't invented the doggy shoes yet.
2:33 okay, and then and i'm supposed to i'm supposed to think there's something remarkable about that. i'm sorry i'm supposed to comment on that. i would never every pot of soup started as a drop of water so true every big thing was once a smaller thing
3:07 um... wait, we fucking nailed it? don't twist the blade, that's a war crime! yao chi tat, that one... reached up and got me. uh, ladies and gentlemen...
4:05 we have some technical difficulties. that one got me odell. what made you decide to learn martial arts? to protect myself. except for me. what the fun?
4:53 yay! it must feel so good to gain 60 hp. that's literally what it felt like last week when i was drinking the half dr. pepper zeroes and half coffees. every single one of them, yeah, that is me after a dr. coffee, exactly. every single one of them hit like that potion from slay the spire that gives you a free power, a free attack, and a free skill.
5:32 luckily my arms are really short. so arm's length isn't even that far away. cuz some people are worth everything. naive ass. double affinity.
6:13 imagine what it feels like to sit under fountain at 1 hp. oh! to gain 2400 hp in like 4 seconds? can you imagine? i bet it feels like the download completed noise on steam.
6:55 we rise at 9 for half 10. gentlemen to bed, we rise at 11 for 1030. you have informed mirage pavilion of prince of ways movements. i'm gonna keep it to myself. oh shit.
7:30 i'm not a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice. i'm a man of choice
8:11 there is we're going to have to lie at some point it's just not right now. don't lie to me waltz. oh shit. i don't remember, i don't remember you.
8:45 i don't know who that is. oh shit, he's chinese. oh my god. yes, they can't be trusted. where are you in the game? right here, right here.
9:20 we went over xu xiaodai to gain bargaining leverage. show kindness and remind him to investigate the mirage pavilion. it could be any of us. i mean any of them.
10:03 i was wondering whether she was googling them because she's... what does it mean in the year 780 when you say i've been looking into the mirage pavilion when you're just kind of chilling in your room? maybe like you have like access to an ancient scroll or something like that but you're not getting like microfiches at the library or something. doing my own research.
10:37 okay, birds. you could send a search query to a bird or something. you will never be lao chir.
11:07 cheers brother, i'll drink to that. alright, i think he actually might have concussed himself on the shot there. his head took a crazy bounce off the stone. how others see you?
11:46 they love me. wherever the prince of wei goes, lady wu follows. even i'm almost moved by this devotion. i knew you were alright, yang jing. mirage pavilion master waiting for your message. you see? he's got the damn green bubble. let's see what's going on with gao yang. let's see what's going on with gao yang. i know this, you. gao yang was bringing officials under her influence. she recommended individuals for office and worked to secure authority for herself.
12:23 her actions displeased chancellor zhang sun who had long been accustomed to having the final say in court. zhang gongzhu. zhang gongzhu is a very good surgeon. his name is sun. he is the most powerful of the two of us. no bs. you are the most powerful of the two of us. li yifan. he is the most powerful of the two of us. he is the most powerful of the two of us. li yifan.
13:12 recently seems to be socializing a lot with court officials, which is bad. i'm hearing that that's bad.
13:47 no offense to all the paralegals in chat. to zhang shan, gao yang's pursuit of power was not merely an overreach. it was a challenge to the established order. with deep roots in the court, zhang's son and his allies stood firmly together when faced with such a threat. their political struggle
14:20 how their contest would end, however, was a story yet to be written. okay. don't spoil the other side for me, by the way. we've got to go back and do the other side. can you slow down, please? i'm not even hsk1.
14:58 the most important thing is to be careful of your own actions. you will not be able to fight with your own actions. and that is why they are now ghosts. cursed to roam this corporeal plane forever, to exact their revenge. you are a ghost. you are a ghost. you are a ghost. you are a ghost. you are a ghost. you are a ghost. you are a ghost. you are a ghost.
15:31 don't say his wig is off his face. that's real hair. and even if it wasn't real hair, it's called a system. it's not called a wig, it's called a system. oh, what a nice, tia tsu. librarian. did you understand what i said? sneak closer to listen in.
16:13 i just want to say what a nice guy okay?
16:47 i got that one! i got that one!
17:05 i've come to watch friends with you. so no one told you life was gonna be this, yay. you and me both brother. nah, i'd probably be an edible guy if i had to guess.
17:29 i'm a cigar man.
17:59 the movie with hollywood's bradley cooper? ma? that's my favorite movie.
18:27 you'll never guess what you can hide within these sleeves. of course, that's you. sister zhu. zhu jj. and we were remind us again how we felt about each other.
19:15 i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a big fan of the chinese government. i'm not a
19:57 oh shit, knock some sense into him? to be honest with you, i mean we have to be uh, we have to be cunning. i think, your highness, maybe you should just accept it.
20:19 and then when we get out of this province, we'll just ice her. oh, that fucking just for laughs gag soundtrack tells me i made the wrong choice. oh, and i've died to poison, presumably. i've been killed.
20:49 aha, this one was just an m&m that we licked the candy coating off. no, never mind. i guess it was the right choice. i thought they said i could have one glass a day.
21:32 just when i thought i was out, they pulled me back in. he's never been more silvio than this. he has truly become the consigliere. leave the kettle.
22:14 he's about to send a risky scroll. hmm, now this is tough. no matter how much it hurts, the bigger picture comes first. your highness, do you really care that much? that sounds like a good thing. this is the nuclear option. give him... he's in his feelings. you give him the ball and force him to take a shot.
22:56 we got the k drama music. that's a good sign. never mind. she got snatched by the beirong ren? on the night of the lantern festival?
23:28 well, this solves our problem immediately. they don't know who takes sheets to the wind, though.
24:10 she deadass said fortune favors the bold. they got fucking german shepherds?! when did the beyron people get german shepherds in 780?
24:44 it's food for the raw for the ray. it's dog food. dan leachie. he is doing a vince mcmahon walk. the german i'm not saying they didn't have him because i just don't know it just took me by surprise man. what do you do? keep working.
25:39 curved ass swords too. that's how you know we're in the northern province. she wasn't kidnapped bro, she's absconded. she's eloping to be the beirong princess.
26:11 this will show her. he did not say sean bing, okay?
26:51 i forgot what sean bing is. i remember bing khan is cookie. what was sean bing? pastry. an actor, true an actor from, he played travallion. damn, that's plus one damage. really adorned her in trinkets and baubles.
27:28 here's what we'll do. we'll go to the club and have a heart to heart in a bathroom stall at one in the morning. she ain't do anything wrong.
28:24 i didn't pick anything motherfucker i think you gotta give more time to read that's a pivotal decision. shou shao dei wasted no time with the matter with matter thus settled he secured imperial approval to march against the don liqi with the prince of wei dead. i can't read it that fast!
29:05 his rise was unstoppable and he stood among chancellor zhang xiang's most trusted men. they blasted me with four choices, man. you're not wrong. and then, okay, well, five choices, i guess, because if you do not decide, you still have made a choice. um, don't you want your family's blessing? i'm not going to let you go to the hospital. you're not going to go to the hospital. you're not going to go to the hospital. you're not going to go to the hospital. you're not going to go to the hospital.
29:46 i'm not your friend. i'm your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend. i'm not your friend.
30:23 i don't want to work on maggie's farm no more. you decide to let her go. let her make her own decision. it's important that she feels like she's making the decision. so later she doesn't go, well why the fuck did i listen to her?
30:57 it's literally 3d printed. it's made of it's made of
31:24 filament? is that what they call it? the maiden on the ground is dying because an air bubble created by the force of the karate chop to the neck has traveled to her brain. i don't know why i'm laughing so hard. that's a little messed up.
31:48 she should have been born to a noble if she didn't want to suffer that ignoble fate. it's that simple. except on the second tuesday of every month for boys night! except...
32:18 on the second thursday of every month when i go out with my girls and we all talk about our husbands. as is tradition. i need a helmet like that man. the dance is so awesome.
32:49 oh shit. i forgot about that. i forgot the whole reason we came here was because of shu's shout of...
33:14 he's lost an incredible amount of face. exactly. i don't know, tom. hey, tom! you and me go way back, but i ain't sure about this one. he's drunk.
33:46 that was the soy sauce, man. you just drank soy sauce.
34:31 i am already married to dan leche. thank you for your understanding father. nintendo direct coded or i am already with child. i beg for your approval of this marriage. we know from earlier that he does have strong sentimental feelings for his daughter. so appealing to his emotions should work.
35:03 oh shit. damn, they're quick with it too. that day both you and li tai fell to the bey wrong.
35:36 governor zhu xiaodai reported the tragedy faithfully and the chancellor thanked him for that. i told you we don't beg. when you said we, i thought you meant like in the sense of like if you were a fan of a sports team you would be like you know we win these we win these. you meant we, you meant like in a in a generational sense
36:03 like as a people we don't we see begging as like uh, it's like an insult or it's it's it's worse than death. yes. okay. well, i didn't know that because like i mean i come from a a populace of liars but my people will say anything to avoid a consequence that's kind of it's one of the enduring characteristics of us okay, so i didn't i didn't know that
36:37 we don't beg, i'm gonna remember that. it's ironic, isn't it? did ludwig show up yet? i honestly thought
37:11 that he might be one of the people in the beirong camp. because i don't know how far we're getting outside of like the capital area of china in this period, but the further they get into rurality, i feel like the better the odds are that we'll be like, holy shit, that's ludwig.
37:35 we just need to go a little further north. oh, he's not in this side? no! unless you just told me that so i'll be even more surprised.
37:59 this is 800 years after the silk road they were trading with europeans? yeah, but not with the french. i mean... maybe, maybe with east francia. but all the... west francia? i don't know. we're talking charles martel, pepin the short type shit. i don't know about that. i don't know about that. i'll have to take your word for that.
38:28 eyes peeled. we're on ludwig watch.
38:57 i'd recognize this guy anywhere. he's back. type of guy to give you a big fucking hug and a handshake that hurts. he is the type of beast to say they'll let anybody in here.
39:31 you like it. they don't know they don't know i'm on i'm too tapped either shooting trail oh by the way your body you don't build a tolerance to the poison, but you do build a tolerance today into those life life is cruel i've had a teacher sure he'd put you to see dan's yeah, that's what i'm gonna i
40:06 he's going over some legal documents. deadlock mentioned. the only way to break this deadlock is to prepare a kind of counter strike.
40:36 a successful attack would truly put us in a league of legends. this team needs a fortress too. yeah, that's pretty good.
41:05 don't return to the palace! you're taking us farther from ludwig! say some shit like i'm gonna venture to the west. awkward.
41:53 they only send women. and there's only one woman in our camp. but it couldn't be her. clear chapter beyond the chains. congrats to me for having such a fine daughter. okay freaky ass, you can't be saying that shit.
42:36 that's my xiao peng you, bro. you can't be saying that. talking all churlish to chinese trump. xiao peng you, hey. he's not the best. we don't like him.
43:09 i think i asked this last time, but what sound do dogs make in china? because every country has their own dog sounds. like in korea, it's, it's, mong. dogs go, mong mong. they go, wong. wong wong! wong wong! i could see that.
43:53 they kind of all, i mean they all sound like dogs too. wolf, wolf is a dog noise. bao is a dog noise. i can see it. meng is a dog noise.