He loves to laugh (Road to Empress 2)

Name: He loves to laugh (Road to Empress 2)
Uploaded: 2026-06-11
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "He loves to laugh (Road to Empress 2)" (Road to Empress 2) — 58 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-11Road to Empress 2

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58 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:02 oh, and his story. the emperor's love. oh, can i see my trait sketch? new keywords added. the fox guards the henhouse. master angler. that's me. that's me, man. i think we should wait for the trait sketch to get complete before we click it so that all the text can like overrun itself. let's see what li zhi is up to, man. li zhi, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. li zhi, i'm sorry. i'm sorry.
0:35 that was important. holy shit. i wanted to see what lies beyond the palace walls. or do we play on his sympathy? i came to see your highness one last time before i die. and then he goes, well i've got the antidote right here.
1:18 oh, you said it was boys only! i thought we all agreed, no chicks man!
1:56 don't worry, she's cool. she's just one of the guys. it probably felt so awesome to dress like this in an era where like 98% of people were just wearing like burlap and stuff. you were probably like, damn, i'm fucking awesome.
2:30 look at my embroidered robe. i'm on top of the fucking... i'm at the very tippy top of the pecking order. come get your man. your highness, you're compromising national security here.
3:06 yikes. why is the advisor dressed like jeff keighley? the person who just tried to harm you. we can't be honest about it. she is dressed hilarious, dressed like sylvia. just when i thought i was out.
3:43 they pulled me back in. we have to give him something. we'll say that was an admirer. yes? oh. why didn't you mention that?
4:17 your highness. oh shit. i was just being goofy. prince of wake cannot afford to lose the loyalty of his men for your sake. he sends you away under safe escort. on the road, as you turned over plan after plan, in your mind, the prince's men found you and made sure you never spoke again. not bad, y'all. not bad. she's a mirage pavilion's agent, but i got a feeling you already know that.
4:58 well, that's the first i've heard about this. that's huge. suspicion minus yi. bing can cookie?
5:35 i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music. i'm not a fan of the old fashioned music.
6:24 it's made of solid gold, man. and yet... we can't just be flaunting your wealth on display like that. that's how you get ganked. oh shit. i don't want to become someone from your past.
7:16 i think we got a plus one intrigue on that. rislina.
7:57 yuan laijin is a person, it's not like a plant.
8:24 i thought it might be related to the antidote. i thought it was like something that grows on a rock in the northern province or something like that. i know what i like in here, i thought it grows in the taiga.
9:01 i'm not sure what i'm talking about.
9:32 i'm just a silly girl, tell me more! tell me more! you got a little spider web here, man.
10:07 that being said, can we hurry it up? i'm on 45 hp. i gotta say, she looks pretty good for 45 hp. in real life, when someone's on 45 hp, they look like they're on like 10 hp. she's one tapped.
10:44 i will take it. of course i will take it. yeah, obviously we're not gonna kill him. we're gonna say, your highness, i like this dagger. you knew i'd like this dagger. hmm.
11:31 he looks like every character from every game announced during sony's stated play. this guy was in every single trailer that dan watched during his react stream yesterday.
12:08 the hell it says, are you willing to accept jesus christ as your lord and savior? guards! take a look at this bad boy right here. this is just for the proles. oh shit.
12:51 he just wants a bribe. he just wants a bribe. a small token of goodwill. please accept it. oh shit, wait. oh! wait, this might be the good ending, man.
13:23 he's going dynasty warriors mode. oh shit, more and more soldiers surround you. li tai, yang jing, and you are ultimately outnumbered and all three are imprisoned. and then, okay, then i see. seven days later, you succumb to the poison.
13:45 in broad daylight, what looks like bribery is actually you handing your own and your allies head to the enemy? i literally thought, i mean this is like, not to be rude, isn't this like the year 800? i thought maybe a vase, this could be like generational wealth back then. i have no idea, we bought 20 people for a piece of gold. i thought maybe like a vase might get us out of a jam at least. i guess he did say it's the shittiest vase i've ever seen.
14:20 oh shit. in tai chi.
14:53 ancient ass drug deal? no, my op, my biggest op. first time in politics?
15:46 he's kind of walked out the front gate. a calculator retreat? men yang chooses to die by the princess's hand? gao yong, come with me.
16:20 i just have to know what happens, i guess. i'll appeal to her sensibility. she doesn't have the right kind of personality to execute me in cold blood. but i guess that's what the guards are for.
16:54 nauseating good or? do you hate me? do you give a fuck about me? do you care if i live or die? a fate worse than death. kao taoing three times before the emperor's daughter.
17:33 damn record skip. oh, i hadn't thought about that. i hadn't thought about that. i guess i'll be careful. man, it's a long ass trip.
18:39 it sucks ass for the people that are walking, man. it's kind of sick if you're in the palanquin, but it's not so great for the dudes in the full armor walking behind you.
19:08 shit is rocking me. wait, it's survivor? it's edited by the survivor team? should say like day 20 in the bottom left corner. oh shit. what a propstian edit. prince of wei met general yuan lechen at the northern frontier. prince of wei and his men split into two groups to uncover the chancellor's crimes. or prince of wei personally killed mirage pavilion spy shao nian.
19:40 what intel do we give them? i'm gonna tell them the truth. i'm gonna play both sides. so i always come out on top. this is happening really fast. that seems bad. five days later. that's why they call me empress wu.
20:20 no, man, that's that's oh, it's the antidote. i thought that was literally bird shit. i thought that was like a lump of bird poop. she was made out of lembas. it's like my favorite type of guy. it's really guy who must be strong because he's slightly bigger than the other guys.
20:58 put me down, put me down man!
21:21 that's pretty true. a man is like a blade. leave them untended and they rust. can i say something? it would go crazy if i could learn how to say that. if i could drop that at my next lesson. give him a second.
21:56 yeah, i can't do that. i can't do that. i'm not even close. i'll be over here with the horses.
22:50 we have to honor our promise. otherwise we're not playing both sides. and we have to play both sides in order to come out on top.
23:37 guy's name is young lychen? there's some pronunciation differences, okay? he is not a moss that grows on the north side of a rock in the tundra. one tapped.
23:59 this shit is teppanyaki bro. i know a teppanyaki when i see one. they're gonna be doing onion ring volcanoes and shit and flipping shrimp into their shirt pocket in the middle.
24:26 my doctor said i could only have one glass of mao tai per day. wait, her name's yuhu? do they know? you decide to send a signal to the prince of wei. you think she's gonna do the thumb and the four finger ring?
25:10 she's gonna do the okay sign? she got a damn lightsaber. all right, but it'll cost you 1 20th of a gold coin.
26:20 korean drama ending? breathing heavily. well, well, well, well, well. you can't run. you gotta stay. because if we run, they're gonna know something's up faster, so we gotta stay. but also there's people spying on us, so we gotta give them something.
27:09 we gotta do like a little austin powers here. hands off my hiney, baby. and when he's alone with me, i will pick him up above my head and spin him around over and over and over until he gets so dizzy he begs for death.
27:47 damn. don't let him pick you up. that's his finisher. not the furniture, man. not pick him up.
28:40 you've passed the test, your highness. remember, an untended man gathers rusts and we've taken all the rust off you.
29:13 yuan liqian doesn't seem fully loyal to the chancellor, how do you persuade him otherwise? i mean, i feel like we should probably just kill him.
29:45 but also, based on the text, i think we gotta say, have you forgotten your comrades?
30:17 even if i were to side with this tiny man who could not lift up another man over his head and spin him around.
30:39 and thus cannot command the respect of a legion of warriors. he's wavering but still hesitant. do not worry, i can win over zhu xiaodai, military governor of the northwest? i don't know about all that. how about you should have said so sooner? zhu xiaodai has already taken the side of the prince of wei. me and zhu xiaodai go back. we're tight.
31:11 he's accidentally sliced his own throat. great job. he's literally my best friend. he's literally my best friend.
31:47 dumbass. he's got one of the best laughs.
32:42 now it's all the who could she? i'm not gonna say it, i'm not gonna say it. will you treat his wounds? no, this is a rare chance to get some rest. the prettiest girls have got the sleepiest demeanors, you know it's true!
33:29 i'm not the first person to say it or notice it. now this, honestly, in order to become the empress, you have to be cunning. so this is a good chance to increase his affinity. and then he's, you change the balance of power in the relationship so he's more into you than you're into him and then you can really start collecting some dividends, building some area under the curve.
34:06 i need a sleepy girl to rot with. i got bad news for you. someone's gotta go out and get the takeout or at the very least open the door to pick up the doordash. there's never two equally sleepy people in a relationship. which i think is why so many people are in polycules these days.
34:33 because then you only, you can have infinite sleepy people as long as there's one person that will open the door. like the ratio is more forgiving in that way. or a rotation, that's true. or a rotation. i bet it's one person.
35:01 i bet it's the friend... not to use ambiguous wording, i bet it's the person on the bottom of the totem pole that has to go get the doordash every single time and they're like, damn, there's six of us and i really got to get it every time. but am i correct in assuming and not to... because this is obviously a whole different thing going on here. is the person on the bottom of the pecking order also the person that ironically is topping most often or is it like a personal preference thing?
35:34 you're ruining the scene but you're not wrong. i don't know. i don't know. it's unrelated. don't be naive. what intel will you give mirage pavilion in exchange for the antidote? the prince of ways abs may drop from 8 pack to 6 pack after this injury.
36:02 bro, he's not going to be able to eat. he's probably going to have a 12 pack, but let's just see how this goes. i can just, when they give you an option like that, you got to click it. i mean, i'm going to, i'm going to die of poison. where's the antidote? i sent them intel. where's the antidote? you know what? that's how i want to go out. one last laugh.