Imagine being a mealprepper back then (Road to Empress 2)

Name: Imagine being a mealprepper back then (Road to Empress 2)
Uploaded: 2026-06-19
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Imagine being a mealprepper back then (Road to Empress 2)" (Road to Empress 2) — 69 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-19Road to Empress 2

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69 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 because you know like that's that's when if you could see the graph of viewership people are leaning forward in their chair as soon as you see them set up the ball and then the ref goes you can't you can't pass it. i can't let you get close me when i'm trying to block a set piece from czechia and the referee tells me that he hits me with the chael sonnen. i can't let you get close anyway, let's go we're
0:37 we already finished the li tai storyline and now we are on the li zhi storyline. does anyone remember what the hell happened two days ago the last time we played this? i guess we could watch the video. oh that's right! oh you left that zero zero last time! i forgot i let them get close yeah yeah well this is nice.
1:33 don't fucking tell me what to do. i remember, i don't want to be with you. i forget all the lyrics to only want to be with you by hootie and the blowfish, which is crazy. you say, you see obsession and i wonder why you're scared.
2:02 now they're just playing with it. oh, that's right. i'm so sensitive the dolphins make me cry hmm like what exactly remain deliberately silent or i like your majesty hope you got a big trunk cuz i'm putting my bike in it. oh damn ten years from now. he's gonna be like
2:46 oh, when she said that, when she said that she was showing that she liked me. oh, she was giving me a sign that she had a crush on me. oh, now i get it. cinematography by tommy wiseau. it does look like this. it's shot a little bit like when shit goes wrong in triangle of sadness. you are my rose, you are my rose.
3:36 not the nose rubbing man. i don't wanna see this. yeah, that's covered in the everything i think. your highness, i told you. i don't speak chinese.
4:26 okay, well the right line for the unfathomable rear palace 2.03 is i'm not going anywhere that's a given well, she technically didn't tell a lie because the sun and the moon are i don't know i'm gonna say like eight light minutes apart roughly maybe like eight eight point o one light minutes apart can you pay attention
5:05 they ain't showing me anything i'm not familiar with, let's put it that way. this is show me something novel, bro. alright, now this i've never i've never seen this before! aw man, you can't be doing that.
5:32 it looks like she's doing one of those workouts where they hang the blanket from the ceiling and you kind of dance around with it. i don't know what you call it. silks, that's it. yeah, she's doing silks, man. what's next, soul cycle? can't you just kill yourself in the morning so we can get some sleep?
6:07 you fucked up. never should have let my fertile ass back in the rear palace. now you're never gonna get me out. too late.
7:03 it does have 12 potion slots. but if this was true to life, probably about a week after he got a girlfriend, he'd be using a different spot on the belt because he'd be eating so much takeout, am i right? and eating all sorts of yummy desserts. bellas, am i right? don't hit me with a question mark. you know how it is.
7:33 single men eat one of two ways. they either eat like a raccoon, only eat like corn based snacks out of bags, or they eat like marcus aurelius. like every single meal is just like beans, rice, and a little bit of lean protein. and then they're like, i would never compromise my nutritional ambitions. this is core to my being. all of a sudden, when his girlfriend wants to go out for ice cream, who be it?
8:00 i mean... you're not gonna take her out for ice cream and then be like nothing for me. that's like a serious shot on... the point of the ice cream is that it tastes good, but the secondary signal of the ice cream is we're both letting ourselves go just a little bit, but it's okay because we're letting ourselves go hand in hand. i was not paying attention at all, okay?
8:28 distributed among the lowly chamberlains or buy gifts to please the empress and consort liu. okay, that's tough. because the chamberlains, you know, they might be the straw that serves the drink or stirs the drink. they might be able to persuade with their limited influence the empress and consort liu not to kill us. but
8:54 the other way to look at this is if we please the empress and consort liu, maybe they'll be more like less likely to kill us. but i think that's naive. i think we gotta try to influence the straws that serve the drinks. you distributed these in secret to palace maids. a hole! jia.
9:19 beijing the dong tian the han long la she's absolutely right true my prestige has gone up the trust and goodwill towards you begin to shift one month later consort jao is released from confinement
9:54 you know if i'm getting grounded for a month, i'm coming out with a revenge body though. i'm coming out looking like justin theroux breaking out of prison in charlie's angels 2 full throttle. oh shit.
10:21 beijing the dong tian? surely this anthem ever betrayes us.
10:54 she looks like marie antoinette. i know they weren't shooting off these firecrackers in the year 780, okay? my daughter picking out bath bombs. then i find out that at lush, the bath bombs are $9.75 each and you use them for one bath.
11:24 poison peaches?
12:00 oh shit. at the end of your turn it gives you block equal to cards in hand? that's literally like one of the best relics you can get in the game and we just got it from a question mark. we got it from the fireworks festival event in act two. never mind we're dead.
12:27 one thing i like about road to empress 2 is that in road to empress 1 the consequences were very associated with the actions you took so you would just like rewind one decision and then make a different one. sometimes you can make a decision like two choices ago that doomed you to this fate. that's when the despised one will get vaporized.
12:53 oh wait, wait the water's the water's three feet deep i guess i'll just swim they were talking about her like she was the titan submersible i'm dying man. they ain't even looking at the fireworks. they're looking at the other way.
13:41 what a tungsten cape man. the cape's so heavy and yet simultaneously it also floats. how devilish. i'm not trying to be an asshole. damn, look at her go. michael phelps. don't let go. my bad, i clicked too much.
14:28 damn, they've been swimming for like 10 hours, man. our past choices ripple forward. no!
15:20 man she's kind of strong though classic ruler
15:57 don't say tasha bendongjack. that's not... i'm not even sure if you can say that. just because it's in a foreign language doesn't mean that that's okay, okay? that's glib. we don't do that here. they gotta invent some damn life jackets, man. forget about the roman candles.
16:44 or as they called them, wait, no, this is post, right? oh, so what, so we don't say,
17:20 we will find the criminal. must own to be a detective in the palace. well, we went to where she drowned. there's water there. have absolutely no forensic tools or know how whatsoever. so case closed, i guess.
17:48 it pushed all the blame on the consort zhao. you decide to respond by agree first then warn consort zhao to stir it up? i believe the two true culprit lies elsewhere? or i beg your majesty to punish consort zhao? your wife will die and your boss will literally hit you with the c.u. on monday? no man, not the xingqi yi jian.
18:26 let's see, i think option one has got some drama potential. never let a good crisis go to waste. head of the rear palace is probably how they felt when you were position number one in the human centerpiece. soon after you seek the request for meeting with consort zhao and revealed everything to her.
19:00 yet the moment you left, she used the palace gossip to casually inform the empress of your secret visit. not to talk about the human centipede again, but like for the 99 people that were not at the front. definitely bad. for the person at the front, seems like you're mostly just eating and getting your butt licked. it's kind of a, it's probably an improvement for the person that was at the front of the line. oh, so i'm getting killed for raising a thought experiment.
19:35 you are the only person the empress personally brought into the palace and personally sent away. hang on, his writing, is this flames? i believe that... i beg your majesty to punish consort zhao. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor. i am a man of the emperor
20:17 imagine how good it would feel to be in the human centipede and stand up on two legs.
20:33 and i know what you're thinking, oh yeah i bet it feels good if you're like the dude who's not doing any lifting. but i bet if you could fucking do it, being the person at the bottom of the centipede and doing like... it's like when my kid jumps on my back when i'm cleaning cat vomit off the floor and then i'm like, ahhhhhh! i bet it would feel fucking awesome! it would be like picking up a heavy squat, man. he cut all their acls, didn't he? that shit happened to lindsey vonn, she still won the gold medal.
21:13 let me take revenge on no, that's too forward. let me investigate the case. you are truly a stupid motherfucker. i would never deign to delegate something so important to a peon such as your s by the way, you're dead. did anyone swap out the poison mist?
21:51 gonna take you to the bank, consort wu to the underworld bank. i guess i'll take revenge on lucy. i almost didn't clock that one.
22:32 disguise as ruhr's ghost to claim her life or imprison her and interrogate her with torture. well, here's the thing. i have no concept of which one of these would actually work. so i think i will choose the one that seems like it could be the most cinema. well, disguise as the... are we gonna do the hopping? the mr. vampire hopping? where you get the spell like stapled to your forehead? the joss paper?
23:01 wait! holy shit, she's tweaking man.
23:27 that's not gonna work. that's ice cold. my prestige is going through the roof though. not the hair stroking. maybe we were too harsh on luci. she's kinda sick.
24:10 damn beast mode that very night lucy also took her own life and followed you into the demise she's a number one hater. she said there will be no peace for you even in the underworld also, i feel like i'm not trying to tell empress whoo how to do her job i feel like if you're a ghost you have to keep your distance you have to not let you get close because once you start shaking her it's good it's like a scary movie to a moment if all the ghosts can do is shake me then like i'm not that scared that's just a person
24:46 you gotta keep your distance so you think you're gonna get haunted or something like that. scary movie too, like when he fucked that clown. remember when his penis got so long he wrapped it around the clown? the clown tries to escape from under the bed and he wraps the penis around his neck and pulls the clown back under the bed and like the fingernails scrape the hardwood floor.
25:10 i'm truly watching this movie and my dad just killing himself laughing, just like... just laughing his fucking ass off. it's like one of the funniest things dads have ever seen. and you know what? he's real for that. looking at the one before you, you decide, i mean, we gotta see it, man.
25:45 damn, with the two step? that's traveling. if they still called it. i mean, the physical pain is one thing, but the loss of face is catastrophic.
26:14 the secretly tasked zhi jin to investigate lu zhi's father's fall. though subjected to severe torture in prison, lu zhi never betrayed any accomplices. she ain't a rat. she is kinda...she's having her come up.
27:00 all of you? i've had the absolute shit slapped out of me!
27:38 hold me back, hold me back. shatter her wish or fulfill her wish but in quotation marks?
28:10 i'll show you what a true frame up looks like. yeah, you should come to a job.
28:42 or maybe he did.
29:14 the ancient twitlonger.
29:42 look at the stroke order. that's ai! that's ai! those are russian bots!
30:11 down here need a foot in teams into ship young one our favorites is show what a foot goon and you should see me or shunt you hardly see by you love the church. yeah, i hope you might what's the good answer don't you shampoo? tell me talk? hunka need a foot from the right am i right and they were roommates? to be sure you treat only
30:44 well, not anymore. i still think she could be our best friend. she killed your friend, bro? she did not kill ruhr. ruhr died saving me from getting killed by luci. but that doesn't train... there's no transitive property for murder.
31:24 ruhr literally, i think she was just sleepy and she said whatever. like maybe she had some shit that was stressing her out that was gonna happen in like a week so she was like this is a great opportunity to just like pretend that i don't know how to swim. i literally think she could become our most trusted ally.
31:47 either that or she'll be more miserable alive. so we'll get the last laugh either way. yes!
32:14 yes, then the white devil with the fluffy brown hair comes in and asks, excuse me, do you know where highway 406 is? and they reply in perfect english. get away from me! oh, i can't let you get close. it's gonna overstay its welcome so fast, but... but it's so good.
33:04 enjoy the ride while you got it. true, true, true. at the cost of blood and tears, you have finally secured your footing upon the chessboard. from this day forward, you will rise from a mere piece to the one controlling the game. that happens. that happens in chess. that's nothing to be joked about. damn, we gotta oh, we've neutralized an enemy though! i didn't realize i had so many ops, honestly. but why the attendant mu is neutral?
33:57 how others see you. my lady, take care in the days ahead. my last message. holy shit. if they're all important, none of them are important, man. but obviously we gotta see it. awkward.
34:40 oh sh it's like she's looking through his phone. um, who are you etching? shimo.
35:20 that's crazy! he hit her with the that's crazy! true. huge if true.
36:07 tell you one thing, if i was living back then, i'd be bringing my own tea to all the meetings. i'm not getting served by any consorts, let's put it that way. what about soup? i got a thermos, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. yeah, what have you got in it? soup and a popsicle.
36:41 this again? you don't like this one? it's one of my favorite jokes. my dad's been telling that joke for two decades. it's a classic for a reason. alrighty. i'm paying attention, okay?
37:36 they had some good acrylics back then? i'll fucking say it, they didn't have shit else to do.
38:09 i mean there's people like in the 780s, there's people working like the peasants are breaking their fucking backs harvesting crops and shit like that but like the the nobles like what do they have to do except gossip and scheme it's nothing at all oh i'll never have those dumplings again it's it's karen's last ziti
38:46 i'm not a man of good health. i'm a man of good health. i'm a man of good health. no, janice was crazy for that one, man. i'm a man of good health. must have sucked to not be able to meal prep back then, man. you really gotta make all the dumplings, like, to serve? come on, that's crazy. the only reason that it's okay to make your own dumplings is because you sit down for like an hour and a half and make them all and then put, you know, like, a hundred of them in the freezer. i'm a man of good health.
39:26 that's true not if you pioneer cold storage like we did in the first part. it does suck when she describes your alone time as a brief moment.
39:59 i am a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man who is a man
40:33 how dare you act natural?
41:14 and that was a big one. i thought that did way more than 10 hp. that felt like a 40 hp plus vulnerable to me. that's true, it is multiple bosses.