the name's man, doorman - Bits and Banter [06⧸08⧸2026]

Name: the name's man, doorman - Bits and Banter [06⧸08⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-06-11
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "the name's man, doorman - Bits and Banter [06⧸08⧸2026]" — 275 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-06-11

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0:00 what the hell? dan's stream ending early? you've seen every trailer? dan, i can't even imagine what your brain was going through after like 34 days of not being on twitch and then coming back. you know that like to your brain, like the caveman part of your brain, you basically just fought like eight saber toothed tigers after hibernating for an entire winter.
0:25 the amount of overstimulation you get is crazy. your chatters are gonna freak out though, because i'm about to like under stimulate them. because check this out. first off, they're gonna be like, whoa, i love movies. this is such a fucked up thing to say. they're gonna be like, i love movies. i can't wait to see nl's 100 movies he's seen in 2026 ranking. you know, they're going to be like, where the fuck is project hit? where's back rooms? where's obsession? where's, there's other movies that have come out this year. what the fuck is francis ha?
0:54 what the fuck is les bonheurs? what the fuck is lingua franca? why did this dude watch night bitch? that's very fair. i should not have watched night bitch to be honest. this is a list of every movie i've seen since, not movies that came out in 2026. because how many movies have i seen that came out in 2026? none.
1:19 the way that we're going to do this, we're going to go bottom up because it's going to be easiest, i think, to start from the very bottom and then to move to the very top. also, it's very... because i've been watching mostly stuff on criterion collection, most of these movies are actually just good to begin with. get out of here, bro. so you might be like, why the hell is my eighth favorite movie of all time in position 62? because we're ranking hall of fame movies, essentially.
1:49 we're watching from the criterion channel. now there's a lot of stuff that i watched on like an airplane or on prime video before i got freaking criterion collection but there's a lot of kino in here, that's all you need man. so without a doubt the two worst movies that i've seen in 2026 are jim jarmusch's directorial debut permanent vacation and kaganata's a big bold beautiful journey. i think they're both
2:14 complete irredeemable garbage that are... they're bad for like the exact opposite reason. i don't know if anybody here has seen permanent vacation, i guess it's a little bit niche. it's just unbelievably boring.
2:28 it has that jim jarmusch kind of ironic detachment, but with absolutely no payoff whatsoever. and a big bold beautiful journey is the exact opposite. it's overly sentimental and saccharine and the leads have no chemistry whatsoever. but i honestly think these are ranked
2:48 absolutely appropriately as of right now. i think that there's no reason, as bad as a big bold beautiful journey is, there's no reason to pull it under permanent vacation, which after i watched this, i took like two weeks off from watching any more movies because i just was like, maybe movies aren't for me. maybe i've seen enough. and that's the only one and one and a half stars that i've seen this year. now we got a few two stars. now by the way, some of these are gonna jump
3:18 or fall. not all, it's not going to be like let's sort the two stars and that's going to be like how they are forever. some of the twos might jump up to a two and a half and some of the two and a halfs might fall. i also think some of the two and a halfs might go up to a three or even a three and a half. none of these movies i really like. i think the best two star is probably clock watchers, man.
3:43 kind of boring, but great cast. parker posey, toni collette, bob balaban, lisa kudrow. not a bad movie, just a little bit dry. and i also think because of when i was born and who i am, it will always be like a lesser office space to me, even though office space i think came out like a year later. the second best two star movie here
4:13 it's really tight because i'm realizing i don't really like any of these. i kind of think they're all pretty bad. if i may be honest, it's kind of boring but brooklyn is maybe the best out of the remaining ones. pretty much exclusively because saoirse ronan is an amazing actress.
4:33 but it's classic like oscar bait. and i never felt more validated. i thought that this movie, i thought that giving this a two star was going to rankle a lot of people, but there's so many irish people in the comments for this review that were like, thank you, i was forced to read this in irish school and i hate it. but a lot of people who have lived in boston for like four generations are like, you can't say that shit about brooklyn. so i don't know, it's complicated, but i think it's not that bad.
4:59 i feel like you hurt my feelings which is this like tobias menzies, julia louis dreyfus, middle aged new york kind of like pseudo intellectual wankery. it's one of those movies that people would say online like this movie should have been a conversation. guy's wife is writing a book
5:20 and she overhears him talking to his friend and saying that he doesn't think the book is very good. okay, 90 minutes of like exploring that but not in a way that's particularly like very interesting. ah, but we have dark star's not that bad. i gotta think about it. all of these movies are kind of like in the same vein of like there's something to like and then overall it just doesn't really work. maybe it is because at least with dark star you're like they were smoking a lot of pot when they made it. they were having a lot of fun.
5:51 brian and charles also like aggressively boring in my opinion. materialist is interesting because i actually thought this was going to be good for like the first third of it and then it completely dropped the ball. but otherwise i would say i'm content with the rankings here to be honest.
6:07 so i married an axe murderer just pisses me off because it's just mike myers. for me, it's like going too far backwards into the mike myers catalog and realizing that the dude has just been doing the same thing for 40 years. so i really think that this movie is kind of an abomination to me. you hurt my feelings, this low pains me. i mean, if you're like 52 and you live in tribeca or whatever, i bet this movie was like you're oppenheimer. but for me personally, i was just like, i just don't give a fuck, man.
6:36 i think there's some sacred cows in the two and a halfs. i'm gonna tell you i'm not just doing this to be an asshole. i really think that in the running for the worst two and a half that i saw this year is f1. bleeder, the nicholas winding refn movie with mads mikkelsen, i actually think it might be worse.
6:58 and night bitch, you're not wrong. night bitch is also pretty bad. they have like opposite problems. these are not movies that you can just look at and be like, okay, this one's 2% better. f1 is like it has video game
7:12 cutscene energy. i mean that as a pejorative. i feel like it's one of those movies that people who like it say it's style over substance, but the style is just like what if it was like a video game cutscene made by codemasters? it's not like an interesting style, it's just slick.
7:30 it's like when they started editing movie trailers, so like when they shoot the gun, the bullets come out to like the same rhythm as whatever the song is in the background and people were like, whoa, well this is crazy. now bleeder is like, it has what i would consider to be a twist in it that undermines the entire movie. like the first two thirds of the movie, i was like, this is pretty good.
7:59 maybe not amazing, but pretty good. isn't it funny mads mikkelsen plays a guy who has like no understanding of how to talk to women. like this is a highly fictional movie. when they do a twist that to me makes no sense whatsoever. it's 26 years old just say the twist. okay i guess that's a good point. probably if you were to see bleeder you would have seen it by now. basically a loser gets his girlfriend pregnant and then their relationship breaks down and he
8:28 physically abuses her and her brother who is like a danish gangster kidnaps him and has him like strung up in a garage and then the movie's called bleeder because they keep in mind i didn't write this shit take this shit up with nicholas winding reffin. okay, they find someone with hiv
8:51 and give him like an hiv positive blood transfusion. which when you're watching it, at first you're like okay, a, obviously like fucked up, obscene. but b, also you're watching and you're like, what if he gets back together with your sister, bro? then you fucked up like severely.
9:10 so you're just watching it and going like, i think this is just so far beyond, like they just did the twist to be like, it got people talking was the way i felt about it.
9:23 but night bitch is like... the husband in night bitch is how everybody on girl dinner diaries talks about their relationship. he's such a fictional construct of someone's mind that it pissed me off to watch it. and also, it does absolutely nothing with the metaphor that like...
9:41 like becoming a mother gets you more in touch with the fact that human beings are just animals. it does absolutely nothing. you would think like, oh she'd be exploring her animal side, but she doesn't really explore her animal side. she just like eats roadkill and shit like that. like it's, i can't tell if it's played for laughs or if it's played for, if it's supposed to be an empowerment of motherhood or womanhood. like it just does, i feel like they just didn't go deep enough into it.
10:08 bleeder is like remarkably irritating in my opinion. i really don't like bleeder. night bitch and f1, to be honest. i mean if f1 was made into a video game, which i guess they've done 2,000 times, you would watch the cutscene and you would probably be like, that cutscene was pretty good.
10:32 the roses? how? i don't know. spinal... realizing, wait, wait, wait. some of the two and a halfs might even be worse than some of the twos, man. i don't know. clock watchers is pretty bad. i'm a millennial. i'm like, i might be exactly the same age as lena dunham. the tiny furniture is just like too lena dunham for me. it's just too new york, too...
10:59 2010, like i get that this is what's going on. i like movies set in new york as you'll see when we get up, but it's just like when it goes wrong, it goes very wrong. and then i really, i just can't get over that she fucked the dude in the aluminum tube at the end. and then like, all i'm like, this is not one of those things where i'm like, i can't believe this character is doing something that i disagree with. but i was like, the dude is so slimy.
11:26 obviously i'm missing something. i guess he's attractive because he like reads books. training day two and a half. i mean there's probably, has librarian made a training day video yet? i really think training day is not good and i think that movie critics in the year 2000 or 2001 i suppose were just wrong. i think that they were wrong and if you don't think that that's possible, that doesn't mean that it's like
11:54 that this is right, but if you don't think it's possible, crash won best picture, okay? in 2006. now it took like two years later for them to be like, wait, we fucked that one up, but at the same time, like the critics back then were like, oh my god, this is like, we've never seen a major motion picture that tackled this issue before. i think so, a, there's like it aged poorly, b, the denzel character
12:20 i think that his performance is the best thing about the movie, but i do also think that it borders on an impression. it's like a complete one note performance that is like just exaggeration. and i still maintain that his plot, alonso's plot in the movie makes no sense whatsoever. and not because you might actually see training day, the thing that ends up being the deus ex machina that saves
12:49 ethan hawke is so contrived as to boggle the mind. like it boggles... the fact that they ground the movie in like a, this is really what life is like, man, you gotta play both sides of the law if you wanna be a cop in los angeles. and then all of a sudden they're like, oh, by the way, this shit really happened. he's plot brained, it's okay? i mean, this is a plot driven movie. what do you want me... if this shit was like,
13:15 speed racer and i was like there's a what they put on slick tires, but then they have great traction like that would be a different story. this is a movie this is an anton fuqua best picture bait movie like it's designed to be carried by the plot and performances
13:30 this is not a style over substance. your review is four and a half, wow, ethan hawke was baby girl in this and you're going to accuse me of being a plot cell? meanwhile, you don't even know the shit that i'm going to say about singing in the rain. singing in the rain is going to be up there. i'm going to go off for like 20 minutes about people who are like, yeah, the movie is pure old hollywood magic, but what's going on with the broadway melody? the broadway melody is the best part, motherfucker. gene kelly is letting his nuts hang. accuse me of being a plot cell in a movie that exists only to sell dvds in 2001.
14:00 rest of antoine fuqua's filmography and then tell me what's more logical that he he went off once with training day or they're all actually at the same level and critics got this one wrong. what's the best of the threes? i'll start you off with one thing. the doomed generation is in the threes and it it's it's not the bottom. the worst of the threes is probably golden balls man. i literally watched this because
14:26 it was a foreign film with javier bardem and i'm like, i haven't seen much spanish in mexican cinema. and what could i say about golden balls? it is a movie in spanish with javier bardem. basically, that's all i got for you. i know most of the people on letterboxd that watch this were on their phone until benicio del toro showed up. and honestly, i'm not even mad at them for that one. that's valid. urbanized, which i watched last week, is literally just like
14:55 a youtube video essay that gives you a primer on urban planning. metropolitan i think is appropriately, well honestly i would put late night with the devil below. i have an axe to grind with movies that basically succeed just entirely on having a gimmick. i honestly wasn't really fucking with the ugly stepsister almost for the same reason that i wasn't really fucking with late night with the devil that much and the main reason is like
15:22 it's like a gory, gross reinterpretation of the myth of cinderella from the perspective of the stepsister. i was like, okay, again, it's one of those things where it's like i almost feel like you would see a reddit post that's like, why has no one made this before? and then you watch it and you're like, oh, because it's like, the gimmick is the thing that carries it like 100% of the time. metropolitan is fine, kind of like,
15:48 noah bombach before noah bombach. nowhere i do think, even though i rated it higher than the doom generation, i think the doom generation is actually better. i think i got it wrong. without being too insane, i feel like the friendship kind of disappointed me, man. for me, this was where i hit the point where i was like, they're great at the things that they're doing, they're great at playing tim robinson and paul rudd, but i've already seen so much of it, i felt like i didn't need
16:14 you know, like 98 minutes of it again. they need to break bad a little bit.
16:21 uh, okay, now three and a halfs are where i mean, i might have like 43 and a halfs. i might have six three and a halfs. i'll tell you without a fucking doubt, the worst three and a half that i saw is peter bogdanovich's what's up doc? and this movie is like beloved by people who love screwball new hollywood comedies. i fucking could not stand barbara streisand's character.
16:45 what was she doing, man? why was she trying to ruin this guy's life for no reason? she's just bored! she's being bugs bunny? yeah, but like... and also, why is ryan o'neill going along with it? and also...
16:59 why is everyone so al madeline wouldn't you if your wife was madeline kahn in that movie? she literally did nothing wrong. what did she do wrong in there? she was like, don't cheat on me. oh, make sure you take your briefcase to work. she's literally just like trying to help him. she just has kind of like a screechy voice or something like that. she was fine. her name is eunice, but and what? she wore a wig to bed or something like that?
17:26 i don't know how many people out there have seen the baltimoreans but the baltimoreans was pretty good but for me, a, probably would have carried a little bit more cachet if i watched it close to christmas instead of watching it like in march for some reason because it is a christmas movie but also feels a little bit like
17:46 i don't know. this is not fair to a movie that's actually pretty good, but at the same time, i was like, if only one every five or ten movies, or one every five or ten years, one movie every five or ten years can make it as a christmas classic, the holdovers ruined it for everybody else. because i was just watching this and i was like, oh, two interesting characters weathering the holidays alone and nobody else really fucks with them? sounds a little bit like the holdovers.
18:11 i'll say it. i think old joy, a, first movie i watched in the criterion collection or the channel, i should say, b, is good but also is really kind of boring. this is not old boy. this is not my favorite spike lee movie. but it is true. in life, you're either the motherfucker leaving the diner to take a phone call once a day and your other friends are going,
18:35 he has to call once a day? what the hell's going on with that? or you're the dude that's jumping over like big bonfires at i forget what park will oldham was at in this but i mean it left an impression obviously because i remember it. who are you? i'm the guy stepping away to take the phone call.
18:56 are you dead ass? how the hell is whatsupdoc under roof man? well a, i haven't gotten the roof man yet. but also b, it's my list. you wanna make your own list? then you fucking go make your own list bro. i'll find a sacred cow to be upset with as well. i'll be like what the fuck do you mean you've got the lay boner at a 4 out of 5? it's literally gonna be in my top 4 man.
19:18 roofman's the worst movie i watched last year. i've seen like, okay, like two years ago when i watched no movies and was never on letterboxd. i took your opinion so seriously, but now that like i look at the letterboxd profile of anybody who leaves a comment on my review, i'm not scared of you guys anymore.
19:34 because every single one of you has like a keynote, performative, curated top four of only classic cinema that is appropriately varied by decade, by genre, by country, etc. etc. but the last movies you've watched which shows your true appetite is slop, slop, slop, slop, slop.
19:56 big slop like you know good slop like hollywood slop slop slop slop slop slop concert documentary concert documentary slop slop slop slop slop so i think that you use your top four to be not all of you because some of you i click on your profiles and i'm like damn i haven't seen anything in the last like 50 that they've seen but they like eat their vegetables. oh, i watched an old movie it was kind of boring but also i loved it put it in the top four and then you're like, oh now i can watch oh
20:26 now i can watch k pop demon hunters again. don't show me your fucking food diary, okay? or your pictures on instagram of what you cooked. show me a before and after of your pantry. and that tells me what you're eating, which tells me what you fucking like and what you don't fucking like. and if the lettuce is going bad in the fridge, don't put leafy greens in your top four.
20:47 that's why fucking roof man is a three and i think as an honest three and a half. there is also something to be said, you know, you can't really evaluate like roof man against what's up doc? because the movies came out like 50 years apart. okay. what that's like going to gamespot and being like, well, but you gave ocarina of time a 10 in 1996. and now you're giving like, this this is a date point for like, there's a
21:14 you have to look at the strata of when it came out as well. like i wasn't reviewing roof man within the context, like let me put it this way. i went into what's up doc with people saying this might be one of the best comedies ever made and then when i watched it i was like barbra streisand is so annoying in this. i watched roof man, i heard people saying hey it's pretty good and then i watched it and i was like no they were right it's pretty good. i would say of the chinese horror comedies i've been watching recently, encounters of the spooky kind
21:45 is my least favorite, number six seven by the way. we made it. fresh kill, which i just watched, is probably the worst but also still interesting. roof man, yeah, roof man's probably worse than rashomon now that i think about it. roof man's probably a little bit worse than rashomon. rashomon's freaking boring. i don't even want to get into my rashomon take because i'm going to get accused of being that one friend who's too woke. let me just put it this way, i think that movie is anti feminist.
22:17 i didn't say a kurosawa hates women. i just said, when i was watching the movie, i was like, damn, whoever directed this could really be accused of misogyny. the only thing that all three of the stories agree on is that she was kind of, she was off the pen, let's put it that way.
22:39 i would be okay rashomon is probably the best of the three and a half. i honestly also think eastern condors is better than but i'm a cheerleader but i understand i'm not i like this movie i'm not the target demographic of but i'm a cheerleader for sure and i am the target demographic of eastern condors because at the end of the movie they have like a one on one actually it's a two on one kung fu fight in a missile silo between like
23:05 two american commandos and vietnamese wenbi. has anyone seen eastern condors? they found like a seven foot tall guy with a mustache to play like a communist general. and the whole time you're watching, he's like, this guy doesn't know kung fu. and then they try to like hit him and he parries it and hits them with like a fucking elastic roundhouse kick in the chest. and you're like, oh shit, he's the best at kung fu.
23:34 only four stars for yojimbo is kind of criminal? it's kind of a four star movie, no disrespect. my favorite of the three karasawas that i watched was uh was throne of blood. i do like at the end of yojimbo when he says the mayor comes out and he's like, yojimbo what did you do to my town? and yojimbo goes, you should fucking end your life. the worst of by the way i'll tell you straight up from watching 100 movies this year, i know my biases.
23:59 if a movie comes out 1980 to 2005, it probably just gets like a very good chance at an extra half star to one star just because that's the era that i associate with like this is peak cinema. there's something i mean when i watch a movie that's really modern, i have to remind myself oh like this is a modern movie and when i watch a movie that's really old i have to remind myself like this is an older movie like you have to you have to meet it on its own time.
24:27 80s is when it started going downhill. guys, we're talking about movies. by the way, you will not find back to the future, back to the future 2, and back to the future 3 on here, okay? you will find those in your top four. so before you come for me, i mean, we're talking about blood simple, we're talking about john woo's the killer and shit like that, okay? we're not talking about whatever the fuck you got a beef with. i don't know, like beverly hills cop 8 or something like that. we're talking about robocop. we're talking about an autumn's tale.
24:58 where's hard boiled? it's fucking in the five stars where it belongs. you don't even know you're so primed to get mad. you're like an exposed nerve in the mouth. you don't even know that it's your fault that your dental hygiene is so bad that you're in pain. your media diet is so bad that you're primed to be so touchy. you don't even know hard boiled is like up here, man. it's way up here. now can i say something while i was scrolling here? i went a little hard on splitsville. splitsville should be down here.
25:27 i really like splitsville. i think splitsville is underrated that should probably be in the fours. the worst of the four star movies that are here it's probably bloody nose empty pockets but it was still all these movies are worth watching. i also think it's good but if i had legs i'd kick you. i resonated with it but clearly not as much as a lot of other people. it was definitely like night bitch if night bitch was good.
25:55 i mean there's some iconic lines from this. almost every movie that like is from 58 up is something that has made an indelible impact on the stream. i will never forget m. emmett walsh saying, if i see him
26:09 i'll be sure to give him the message. there's some iconic moments in this, but it's a lesser coen brothers movie for sure. also really nice when you get two movies from the same directors that are in the same tier, because i could be like, yeah, oh brother, where art thou is definitely over. now of the remainder, i promise you i'm not just trying, okay, listen, dude, can i be of the 2025 movies that are like stacked together here?
26:37 i'm not totally sure that i like sinners more than rental family.
26:41 i almost feel like the difference is the angle to which i approach them. it's impossible to remove the movie from the context in which i saw it because i didn't see them like i wasn't the first person on earth to see them, right? i went into sinners being like, damn everyone's saying this is the greatest movie of all time up until just after they opened the juke joint. i was like, they were right. and then when the movie would like ostensibly
27:08 when most people thought it got cooler, i was like, it got a lot worse for me. i feel like once they... at this point you probably are aware that sinners is actually a vampire movie. i thought like the first half of the movie was really, really compelling. and then when it becomes like an action horror movie, i was like, i didn't think it was nearly as interesting.
27:31 probably liked it more than that. i enjoyed picnic at hanging rock, which is not but then to be honest i mean, these are all good movies. this is where it's getting tough man rental family was like the opposite i went into it thinking that this movie would suck and would just be like sentimentality slop featuring wholesome chungus and
27:56 brendan fraser in japan, but it's actually it's got a good emotional core and despite being kind of like an uncool movie i thought it did a really good job. i don't think i could put it above sinners man after after all that after all that i don't think i can put it above above sinners. i think a chinese ghost story is probably also below
28:18 swiss army men, obligatory, good movie, but i honestly think it wedges itself in around 54 here. slacker is going to be going up. 28 years later would be more close to the mid. i'll be honest, slc punk is probably around there as well. i think the killer is appropriately placed. i'd probably move oh brother where art thou over shaolin soccer.
28:45 we're all going to the world's fair is an interesting one for me. i almost feel like i watched this before i watched i saw the tv glow. so i was fucking with it before i saw i saw the tv glow, but i do think it gets like an aoe buff from its proximity to i saw the tv glow. i think that of i haven't seen all contemporary cinema, obviously, but i think jane schoenbrunn is like
29:11 they have their finger on the pulse of what it was like to grow up online in the early to mid 2000s. it's the only time i've seen that directorial voice authentically portrayed on film. i saw the tv glow, obviously it's a trans allegory. but even beyond that, it does such a good job of capturing that
29:37 weird phase in your life as a young adult when you're like 11 years old where you'll you could see something on tv in like a young adult show and get freaked the fuck out you could be like this is the scariest thing i've ever seen in my entire life.
29:52 like when you watch like, you're staying over at your friend's house and it's a sleepover and they left the tv on and you saw like one episode of the x files and it scared the shit out of you or something like that and then you saw it
30:07 years later you probably hyped it up to your friends and you were like, like it literally like traumatized me and then you all watch it together and you're like what the fuck this is cheesy as hell like this is it's played almost as if it's a comedy but when you are at that age where you're like you know
30:24 slowly becoming a grown up but still have like that naivete of childhood, things can have such outside significance relative to the way that, you know, an adult would see it. and i think that they have only, like that, they're the only director that i've really seen capture that effectively. it was boring, nothing happened. the spooky pasta guy was bald. the creepy pasta guy was bald though. i think this is really good. now,
30:54 is probably like there for me. i really like slacker though. they're not making motherfuckers like slacker anymore. all these people would be on their phones now. they would be posting all that crazy shit in facebook comments instead of posting irl by talking to people outside. i would say honestly, i feel fairly confident saying the worst four and a half i watched this year is an autumn's tale. and these are all heavy hitters. if i'm speaking from the heart and not being performative, i think tom popo was the next worst.
31:24 it would be better if it, for me, if it had none of the yojimbo ramen restaurant stuff and was exclusively the freaky ass hedonistic vignettes where they're passing the egg back and forth in the french kiss or they're cutting up a fresh oyster or something like that and then like licking the blood off of their thumb. i think that is why this movie is actually peak.
31:52 the vignettes are so good. when they put the live shrimp and like pickle it on the girl's belly button upside down in the bowl. i was wrong about tom popo by the way. the whole time i thought it was like a wholesome chungus movie about like, you know, hey let's like i thought it was like a fictional episode of kitchen nightmares. oh this poor woman's ramen restaurant is like in the it's in a horrible state. let's fix it. no man that's not what this shit is subversive.
32:21 one of the most disgusting scenes is when they're all slurping up the spaghetti, man. i don't have misophonia, but it made me sympathetic for those of you who freaking do, man. if i can give it a review in a positive way, bob trevino likes it, is like the worst great movie i think i've ever seen. it has such like, you randomly grabbed this movie,
32:45 because your dad already picked like a violent movie and you already picked like an animated movie so your mom was like i like john leguizamo.
32:52 it's very like mid 2000s indie cinema. a young woman, her father sucks, her dad's name is bob trevino. she goes on facebook and searches bob trevino and then just starts messaging another bob trevino. but it's actually a wholesome movie about exercising your emotional demons and found family and stuff like that. i would love to be like, i'm so cynical, it actually sucked in it. this was like a two and a half. but i was like, this worked for me, man.
33:20 now we gotta start making some enemies. tokyo godfathers, really good, but i can't put it above anything else that's still here, man. similarly, the day trippers, a great... i mean, they want to kill me. they want to kill me whenever i give a parker posey movie a four and a half instead of a five. also, sorry baby is also really good, and it's better than the day trippers.
33:49 but now i also think we've reached the point where throne of blood is appropriately placed. sorry baby is actually really good. that's why i gave it a four and a half. i know it's the third best movie for you of 2025 because you watched eight movies. i've watched 100 movies so far in 2026. you gave it a four and i gave it a four and a half. no, you're mad at me because you got it at number three and i got it at number 38 or whatever. like you're not even realizing these are two different scales. you have to look at it within the context of all that came before it, bro.
34:17 i'll tell you one thing for sure, f is for fake is way up there. francis ha, way up there. in the mood for love is my list. that's about where it affected me emotionally. i would say it's better than two thirds of the movies that are out there. i really like scanners and again it has a lot of things that work for me that i don't think will work out of the box for everybody. like you know having grown up in ontario and visited toronto a lot you can be like yeah this is what toronto is like for sure.
34:48 you're not a yearner? is this the only yearning movie you've ever seen? it's just because the number of slings and arrows i suffer for giving good but not superlative reviews to in the mood for love and punch drunk love and people go, you're not a yearner. oh yeah, what did you feel about love in the afternoon, motherfucker?
35:05 what did you feel about past lives? what did you feel about sentimental value? what the fuck did you feel about cleo from 5 to 7? what did you feel about, well this is not really a yearning movie, but what the fuck did you feel about dead ringers bro? what did you feel about when harry met sally? the green knight is the one that hurts the least to move down. but i do feel like it's above house and love in the afternoon. i will say something good too as we reach the borderline here. martin supreme is the worst of the five star movies that i've seen this year.
35:33 i would lower sentimental value, and maybe this just speaks to the kind of person that i am. i definitely prefer the 1985 hong kong horror comedy mr. vampire over it.
35:44 they were kicking the shit out of those fucking corpses man. like a lot of these hong kong action movies, especially the sammo hung ones, which this is just sort of sammo hung adjacent, they do the thing where they finish and police story does this too, although it has a killer opening as well. they finish with like an unmade
36:02 unbelievable set piece. so for like 70 minutes sometimes you're like, not everything, like it's not that exciting, but then at the end you're like, okay, you won me back. mr. vampire opens with them like beating the shit out of some corpses. the vampires are hopping around, they're kicking them in like the side of the chest and they're just flying in the doors and like splintering the wood and stuff like that. mr. vampire was the best of them that i've seen. now i still don't think it's as good as police story.
36:31 and i think robocop's better than police story. and ghost dog, way of the samurai spoke to me. i really think we're probably looking at like this for nirvana, the band that showed the movie. a movie that is really good, without a doubt. can i say that it's better than robocop? i don't think i could say that it's better than robocop. i think that would be crazy. and then no other choice is also really good, maybe around there.
37:00 dead ringers is awesome and everybody here that hasn't seen it should see it but i do think it's the second worst of the five. he did have jeremy saying, ellie, ellie. i mean these are so, this is tough. i'd probably go with the celebration which is also obligatory like all of these movies are really, really good.
37:22 i mean the celebration i think is literally playing at park this week as part of like the finn wolfhard's favorite movies collection. i mean he's like what 15 years old so he's got to have good taste. by the way i don't know if anybody here has seen the celebration if i'm at that dude's birthday party and that's what his son says in his speech
37:42 i'm getting the fuck out of there. i don't care if i gotta walk home. but like, there's no shot that like after the dude sits down, i'm gonna be like, let's go. let's wait for our appetizers. that's crazy. i get that they like stole the keys to their cars or whatever, but we'd be walking home. okay, i'm not staying in there. this is like the kind of party that ends with everybody getting shot in the head. the next worst is a gear of the wrath of god.
38:08 i think it's fair to say i'm not going to lower it yet, but the umbrellas of sherburg
38:13 i bet for 37 year old men is the easiest movie to hate of all time. i think if you explained, if you were trying to explain that this movie is actually one of the best movies ever made and then they said, oh, what is it about? and you're like, oh, it's like a musical. first off, they would be like, okay, so i'm not going to watch it. and then they would, you would be like, and also there's no musical numbers. there's no musical numbers in the whole thing. it's one song.
38:39 the whole movie is just one 90 minute long song that carries through the whole film. they would be like, i am never going to watch that again. i'm going to watch taken 2 for the fifth time and then i'm going to smoke a cigar on my porch and i'm going to go to sleep. i think it's cleo from 5 to 7 next, but like these are...
39:01 these are all incredible movies. this is honestly hard for me. we've reached the point where it actually to me feels like it's harder than the execution tier list. when we got to the execution tier list and it was like, would you rather be like,
39:19 boiled alive or like tied to a post and have birds pick at you until you die and i've started to feel bad like this is how this is how it feels to do this because i mean, i've probably seen 3,000 movies but
39:35 40 of them from this year are among the 200 best i've ever seen. because back in the day, i would just be in a position where i would like, i would just watch whatever the fuck was on tv. i'd be watching snow day and jack frost and shit like that. i think i can live with brief encounter at 13, even though it's also like one of the most incredible movies ever made. i think after that,
40:05 i can put in hard boiled at 12. it feels insane to put it at 12 because i do think that there's a chance that hard boiled is the best action movie i've ever seen in my entire life. after everything we've been through, i think it's blue velvet next. every single one of them hurt to move here. i really like blue velvet and not just because it has happy gilmore's grandma in it. i think that i saw the tv glow comes in after blue velvet.
40:33 it's gotta be like first instinct. barton fink is probably, as of right now, my second favorite coen brothers movie, is the eighth best movie that remains on the list. it might be the best romantic comedy ever made. i still think when harry met sally comes in seventh here. as insane as it seems, because i've been bumping the soundtrack in my car ever since i saw the movie, and i genuinely think
41:03 it's possibly the most beautiful movie i've ever seen in my entire life. there's like 15 jaw dropping shots in mishima life in four chapters. i still think i would put it down to number six here. below singin' in the rain? have you seen singin' in the rain? like, i feel like i have to ask, whenever someone shits on singin' in the rain, have you seen it? have you sat down and you fucking watched this?
41:31 have you seen the shit that they're doing with their legs in singing in the rain? like it's almost like you went to see cirque du soleil and they're doing some shit that you have to train for like 50 years to do that no other human being in any other generation has ever seen and you're looking over and going, is that it? is that all there is? they're doing, it's every single musical number in the movie is superlative.
42:00 it's very good but it's the most hypocritical piece of art ever made? okay. you want to elaborate on that or are you just gonna like drop it? they never credit the real singer? i don't give a fuck man. you know who you're talking to, my favorite song is gaucho. they stole that shit. chatter's insufferable, also all art is derivative. not these days, all art is generative. i think. at least the good stuff.
42:31 i actually got a huge aura buff this weekend. my teacher was like, what have you been practicing this week? and i said, well, and she went, okay, here's like, all your tones are all fucked up. and then we worked through it. and then she said, what else have you learned this week? and i said, and then she went, wow, i understood what you said. and i went, yeah, we get there, bro.
43:03 you have to look like kirby when you do it? i mean the number one thing that she says, and i swear this is true, she says you have to open your mouth wider. especially, she's like put some space between your lips and your teeth when you say, homie you don't understand english. i'm literally with, and i'm not even trying to like put my nuts on your forehead.
43:25 i'm a one in 5,000 english speaker. there's better out there for sure. and because we live in a perfect meritocracy, they get sorted to the top and they become more apparent obviously. but we're talking one in 2,500, one in 5,000 maybe. if we were still living in that kind of rural agrarian society, you would be like, that guy words good. it's the guy who words better than any guy i've ever seen before.
43:48 you think you're better than half of chat? well, you spelled the sentence wrong, which just puts me in a position where i look like an asshole for even replying. and you're going to say it's not the same, it's a typo. but okay, so when i construct a sentence poorly, that's, oh, my spirit is flawed, there's varnish on my spirit. when you type something wrong because you're watching 17 streams and drink it a dr. coffee, a cafe yee shang at the same time, that's just, oh, people make mistakes.
44:17 i think i would elevate singing in the rain over les bonheurs. i would probably move there will be blood to four and i would look at this and i would say this looks pretty good, man. there's nothing, there's no single performance in boogie nights that's as good or even close to as good as what daniel day lewis is doing in there will be blood, but the ensemble cast puts it over the top.
44:38 les bonheurs is like the exact opposite of bleeder, which we covered 90 minutes ago. it's a movie that is entirely made by a twist that is actually good. and the twist retroactively makes the rest of the movie better because you're like, oh now i completely understand the artist's intent of the movie. and singin' in the rain is just, it's just dangling its nuts, man. i really feel like singin' in the rain is kind of like the avengers endgame of
45:07 hollywood. it's movie magic. like they were doing too much and god bless them. god bless them for doing it. it's almost inconceivable to me that at one of the most successful movies of all time at the box office that like your grandma and grandpa were watching when they were 16 years old just throws in a 16 minute
45:28 i don't even know what you call it, like a musical number in the middle that does absolutely nothing to advance the plot, which these days seems like anathema. and if you look at like modern letterbox reviews of singing in the rain, it's the number one thing that people complain about, that modern audiences complain about is like, well, the movie had a lot of momentum, but then they had this incredible dance sequence that's like 15 minutes long that is staged. it's like with shit that you've never seen before.
45:57 and the entire context of it within a production standpoint is that gene kelly was like, well, if you don't spend the budget, they're not going to give it to you next time. yeah. and then they do the whole elaborate number and then the, the studio exec goes, it sounds all right, but i just can't picture it. even though they vividly have put it on display. like it's such a, it's, it's such a 10 inch your way to like lampshade this with just a cheap gag. it's so good.
46:27 it's crazy the movie always gets reduced to its namesake number. that's a second in the rain is like the worst song in the fucking movie, bro. i get that the dude had like influenza when he filmed the scene. i mean the scene is amazing, don't get me wrong, but every other musical number is gas on gas on gas. and you know how i know it's a good fucking top four for me? yours obviously is going to be different because i don't have any animated movies in mind.
46:55 it's a good top four because i feel fucking impressed that i couldn't find a way to get 32 short films about glenn gould in there. i really wanted to put 32 short films about glenn gould in there, but i just i couldn't do it and maintain honesty, man. complains about generic top fours, proceeds to create a similar ranking, pretends to be in the kino art, talks in fucking green text arrows like a terminally online 4chan addict,
47:23 two people can be overly reductive bro. also i don't think i've ever complained about generic top fours. i complain about performative top fours. and a lot of the performative top fours, you know, i would say that they're actually a better selection of four movies than the ones that are more honest. but at the same time, they're dishonest which makes them way worse. trust me, by the way, for all, i mean, letterboxd is very gen z dominated. i'll take the gen z letterboxd top four of like spider verse, i saw the tv glow,
47:54 and then like, you know, one probably usually like in the mood for love and then like a
48:00 k pop concert video. i'll take that over the millennial man top four, which literally every single time is like interstellar, the dark knight, like it's fight club, which by the way, those are really, really good movies that i really like. i just don't need to see it anymore. i don't like, i'm sorry, please do not ever, if you ever meet me and for some reason we're talking about movies, do not tell me your favorite movie ever is jurassic park or back to the future. i just don't want it. i don't want to hear it anymore.
48:28 it's fine. you're being honest. i just don't want to hear it. i don't want to hear it anymore. the matrix is at least interesting. the matrix is awesome. any mala tong this weekend? yeah. me, k. corey and his partner went out for, uh, heidi lau. i actually ate so much that i woke up hungover. i'm not being facetious. like i'm not being like, oh, i felt like i was hung over. like i had symptoms synonymous with a
48:54 hangover. i think that i ate so much that like my body was exercising while i was asleep. like my heart rate was high to funnel blood to my stomach to speed up digestion so that i didn't like die in my sleep or something like that. i woke up with like a headache and like low motivation to do anything like a tummy ache and
49:22 not the... not the nicest trip to the bathroom as well. and i was like, that was stupid man. why did i eat so much fucking malatang? and then yesterday kate was like, do you want to go out for lunch? and i said, alright, where do you want to go? and then she said, big way. and i went, i literally can't. i think if i eat hot pot again after eating the hot pot that i ate last night, i will never eat hot pot again for the rest of my life. that's just gotta go man. you're just too online i'm afraid.
49:51 it's just the most annoying comment i've seen in my entire life. i'm sorry, it had to go. and out of respect for you, i'm not repeating it. you can find it in the librarian edit instead. but it's just there's no point in derailing the whole stream for that. that's nice. yes. note the exquisite stitching and attention to detail cut proportion and style in perfect harmony. half price on sheen. looks a bit big. and i'm craving a coke zero right now.
50:24 sad to report i'm all out of dr. pepper zero. there will be no more dr. coffees. although one would go so nice right now. it would be so nice to have a dr. coffee right now. i'm drinking one right now. wait, a dr. coffee or a dr. pepper zero? whoa, i didn't even see, wait, now i see why you're talking about it. they put an ad in the game.
50:53 damn, the coke zero that has zero caffeine? they made coke zero but worse? well, i guess the market has spoken. coke zero zero caffeine is a very elon coated beverage. i'm not telling you to get addicted to caffeine to be cool. i'm just saying it's an elon coated beverage.
51:12 goes great on the nightstand next to a replica of the gun from deus ex human revolution. oh, repeating of course. is this what it's like to be like suffering an acute
51:36 out of hysteria cuz like i just i can i get some internal quietness. can i get some peace so i can return to my internal monologue? one more round of iteration and we're ready for field testing. now your friends feel encounter strike when you die first. yes. luckily that doesn't happen that much. i always die last because i'm really good. so hold alt to activate cue lens press 2 to deploy the shockwave.
52:06 now, as you can see, the smoke obscures arthur's vision, causing an acute sense of disorientation. as you can see, he loves it. as you can see, he's breathing more deeply. he's activated all the muscles in his diaphragm to swallow the smoke as fast as he can. you may choose your equipment from the gadget cart. bridget here will sort you out if you have questions. you think you're up for the task, jeremy? i...
52:27 my man goes to blow up and act like i ain't know nobody. you know what, chiblee stim has been stuck in my head for like a week now. i don't know if i can hit it with the same speed that he hits it with. it's, um, me birds gone mad at me cause i blew my last four quid down around the pub. let me try that one more time. me birds gone mad at me cause i blew my last four quid around the pub.
52:57 what is this accent? it's my version of my bad scottish accent, which to me is worse than chiblee scottish accent, which sounds pretty good. an 85 meter drive to a parallel parking spot. ooh, imagine.
53:28 bond. car park. in position. greenway. grand hall. switching off comms as instructed. nothing on my end. keep up a profile and don't let your guards down. 009 most certainly won't. out. honestly, this is how i know he's not a dad. couple hours apiece sitting in the driver's seat of a nice car. sounds like a pretty damn good time, honestly. and you get control of the fucking stereo? could be worse, man.
54:08 not exactly the five star treatment. this is what happens to your bags when you fly it. what airline am i gonna... what am i gonna put under the spotlight? let's just do air canada. damn, i'm sorry, i can't catch him. permission to jog?
54:27 did you hear grandmaster nivik got his arse handed to him by one of the web industry's self learning ais? no. did he flip the table? it's nivik. he'll flip the breakfast table if he's out of orange juice. but to be fair, he did win the first couple of games easily. then the ai ran 12,000 simulations while nivik went to get coffee. when he returned, it wiped the floor with him. it was a general purpose ai. the thing just put in its 10,000 hours of focused practice in about...
54:56 45 seconds? talk about a lesson in humility. i'm just relieved i chose the ballet. i don't see ai taking over the performing arts anytime soon. i don't know. did you see that robot kick the chinese kid in the chest? to be fair, and i know how this sounds, but you have to see the video before you get upset. the kid should not have been standing there.
55:20 i also, i did see, i was on reddit when i had the meat sweats yesterday, spending a little bit of time in the bathroom and i saw the ace of acorns. i saw the video of like the people at the tech conference that are just kicking the shit out of the robot. like they kept kicking it in the chest and i was dying at all the comments that were like, i feel bad for the robot. and i was like, why is every top comment like
55:48 i don't know, i guess i'm just more empathetic than the average person, but i felt bad for the robot. like, they're building this thing to fucking kill you, bro. if anything, you should be sad that they're not kicking it harder. the first dude took like a minute and he had no force behind his kicks at all. now the last dude, the last dude fucking shattered the bot's pelvis. he fell backwards and his pelvis snapped like a wishbone, but
56:15 i don't know if i would deliver like a punishing kick to a robot at a tech conference, but the way that the dude was just kind of standing and then putting his foot on the robot's chest and lightly pushing it away was pissing me off. and he would keep looking around for approval. was that a good one? i thought for sure there was. i mean, i've been watching a lot of
56:39 hong kong action movies, i guess. i thought someone was going to grab a stool and start using it both as a shield and as a blunt force instrument. kingsley alert. let's not get spotted just yet. need to build a case first. can i say positively, great bald representation in this game. a lot of different male hairlines. you got the like, this is a very accurate male pattern baldness.
57:09 this is obviously a norwood five. sorry to whoever the actor was. he looked up as if he was like, what? we've seen full bald. we've seen like bald, but hasn't shaved in a few days. we've got like greenaways. like he may never get balder than that, but obviously he's receded a little bit. like they could bond. why am i not surprised? kingsley, you can keep a secret, can't you? don't bother. i'm reporting you right here and now. i'm onto something.
57:38 this is my shot at proving myself to greenway. just help me out here. wow, this is unprofessional even for you. command, bond has abandoned his post. i repeat, bond has abandoned his post. copy. i will handle it. proceed. oh, fucker. seems he's gone behind the scenes. has he?
58:06 i need to focus. i need to focus. oh, do you? it'll be hard to focus with some underpants full of shit. you fucking dickhead.
58:33 am i the asshole? i poisoned the guy for being churlish to me? that literally happens sometimes as you get older. what's your problem? oh, pickpocket, huh?
59:03 get inside the suit of armor? he's not distracted. okay, but if we do this... he'll get distracted and then we can pick his pocket and then we got a staff key. i don't think you'll be late now. you know mr. prendergast? the author. his suitcase disappeared. and just like that, huh? blame the staff. what else is new? tell mr. vargas if you see him.
59:36 prendergast is down in reception demanding to see the manager wouldn't want to keep mr. prendergast waiting. i'm assuming this is mr. prendergast right here that's him mads mikkelsen ten inches ten inches and thick i'm sorry, mr. prendergast, but we simply do not have a bellhop of that description ridiculous and who made off with my bag then?
1:00:03 why is everybody talking in this game while also looking at a screen? it's making me feel disrespected.
1:00:25 there is a quaint little bar nearby with a nine feet mahogany what do you say we go to the quiet little snooker bar and i suck your cock mr. bond? some of the time. appreciate the help. anytime. mr. prendergast, i am told you have some missing baggage. yeah yeah enough about the missing baggage how about we go to the local snooker bar and i suck your cock? i spotted him just before going through the door marked laundry. laundry? that's very helpful.
1:00:59 we don't steal everything. stop saying we steal. we're not stealing people's phones. we are taking all the batteries out of their phone. didn't you see the guy that dan? what if dan keizing had a low taper fade? what if dan keizing had a low taper fade? but look at why are you on your phone? like he's talking to you in theory. he's got a damn lollipop for a boutonniere.
1:01:28 oh shit, now we're in fucking manor. what?! nosey ass. let me get that door for you. me going back at 4am for more espionage. wine tasting notes.
1:02:03 the archambault rouge is certainly fine, but it pales in comparison to the mont au ras sacramento. isn't archambault a game where you kick each other in the nuts? corey's, uh... corey's treasure chest? with left side cigars, right side frankfurters? excuse me, ladies. health and safety inspection. where may i find the laundry? it's just down the stairs. did someone file a complaint? strictly routine. like my marriage.
1:02:32 hi yo! wait, wait, wait. let's... you wanna talk? her husband is this guy. he's going, what the fuck? why are you spreading our shit around everywhere? i told you not to say that shit at work.
1:02:52 that sounds good! that sounds good. yeah, destroy this.
1:03:32 diarrhea dave. situation contained. so here's what i thought was gonna happen. i thought we were gonna push the laundry thing like, well we stayed behind it and then we'd sneak up on him and do something. i didn't think he would full on kick it into the dude. back into character. swag acquired. that's right, overload that stinky ass ac.
1:03:59 oh. it's like i'm at kory's house. what's that? oh shit! i forgot what button is perry, man! they've killed me. they've killed me dead. james bond was killed. sorry guys, james bond died. fuck it, rush him. you want some? take some of this. what? hey! okay. i'm calling hq.
1:04:43 what the hell did i do? you're the bad guys, you know that, right? what the hell? he's got a damn taser! he killed me. i tripped into the bathroom and i died. he pushed me to death. he slimed me because i tripped over my damn shoelaces. i mean, there's no shot that these guys are not
1:05:20 suffering like permanent organ damage. we're shooting them full of like clorox and toilet cleaner and drano and shit, man. we're filling a dart full of toilet bowl cleaner and then hitting them in the back of the neck. could be worse, could have carbs. x above your head means the disguise is good. oh, never mind. carry on. don't think you can escape. that being said, nobody's watching so i might as well liver punch this guy real quick.
1:05:51 what's the matter? don't stress. just a troublemaker. just a troublemaker is crazy. right. um... eat his ass. alright, there was no need to go that crazy with it. infestigating. get ready.
1:06:25 no time. potential casualty. over there. they don't give a fuck about me. they don't give a fuck about me. that's right, i'm james bloody bond. gone again. slippery bastard. watching has earned you a drop. yo! tap the box to claim? hang on, i've watched enough of myself streaming james bond that i get to tap a box. drop successfully claimed. the hell is it? purple suit? visit your inventory to connect your account? what, hello.
1:06:59 he lost it in my trousers. of course, don't tell me you got the little binoculars on a stick. oh she freaking does man. this can't be a chess.com production though, where's levy?
1:07:32 i know their backs are gonna be sore as fuck, man. i know it fucking stinks in there! sheesh! pee ew! using my qwatch to detonate the...the lithium battery and the anal beads. oh, my stomach! my stomach hurts really bad!
1:07:53 all of a sudden my stomach hurts so bad. bro, you can't be standing next to that. there's arc lightning coming off of that thing. they should do that clip with the merovingian from the matrix 2, but instead of the pie that makes that lady have an orgasm, it gives the lady like a really sore stomach. so you follow like the ones and zeros like
1:08:21 goes like upper upper spine like into her brain and then it's and then she goes oh oh did you guys have this cake oh no my stomach that's him now what's in those creams
1:08:41 the power of the matrix is incalculable once you learn it. it's just ones and zeros, morpheus, you and me are fat. we've recreated the ground pork from the hello fresh that gave enel some manila and campylobacter. monsieur morpheus. you must have gone down this way. i don't know what happened. i was on a shift at the delivery gate and suddenly, bam, cold sweat stung a cramp.
1:09:11 and then we hit him with another one so he knows that it could happen to everybody. rho gets around, man.
1:09:34 oh no, his cortisol spiked man. no, no, no, no, no. you ain't gonna quit, you ain't going nowhere. you know how i know?
1:10:12 fuck your hors d'oeuvres, man. fuck your michelin star bullshit. fuck your appetizers. put my damn shoes on your michelin stars. how do you feel about all that? do a fucking parkour on it? fucking hitting the three point turn on your shit. you're not gonna do fucking anything about it, man. what are you gonna do about it? that's what i thought. fucking nothing. break your fucking flatware. see if i give a fuck, man. you again.
1:10:45 that's right, the maid is picking a lock. now you've seen everything. well, that was close. i think she likes us. tell me about it. this is insubordination. get back to your... clear comms.
1:11:25 me flanking lower tons while my teammate shouts. it's b, it's b, they're all apartments. me and my head, my headphones 120 decibels, nine inch nails, industrial mix. get it, get his ass. excuse me y'all. pardon me, excuse me. it's not like you can fucking see anyway. you can't see.
1:11:55 you can't fucking see, man! you're gonna be here... oh, let me just take a look at this. move 9. gretchen wong. classical rating 2609. it's alright, i suppose. she's on 1.0. niviks on 1. he's at 2830. she's 2609, he's 2835. gretchen, fucking resign. he's gonna destroy you. you don't stand a chance. there's a 300 point elo difference.
1:12:27 who's got advantage? i don't know, they're on like move nine. they should still be in book here. honestly, i don't know man. i like white's position. what are we doing with those, uh, a pawns, man? but like most games of chess at a high enough level, it's probably just gonna be a draw anyway. a secret passage, of course. a set of instructions for a hidden mechanism. empty. now we just need to find the secret passage, which is obviously right here. yeah he he! a puzzle! six dials.
1:12:59 take more than blind luck. it's definitely that and then, okay, like a turtle. wrong, bro. that's not it. a snake? that's it? it's three things? nothing to it. please explain your reasoning. wine cellar. i picked the coolest creatures. he's unpacking something. cressida? i tried. she wouldn't listen. engage. break cover if you need to. i don't know about this. damn it, monroe. there's no time to wait for permission. we need to act. me when i look like buddy holly and you look like mary tyler moore?
1:13:41 this slum my boy. hey, you got some hp sauce on your tunic, mate. you're gonna get reprimanded. you got red sauce on your tunic, mate. it's not pro call. mate, you got cats upon your damn blazer. not the galaxy, not the galaxy, bud.
1:14:40 yeah. yeah, take this. your european ass probably love that. you're probably like damn, was that a chateau riz? milneufs on catravandies neuf? 1999 for you. i killed him. a bomb. defuse the bomb? somebody did set us up the bomb. what the? no! they're back! the swedish twins from the matrix are back! all right, that's kind of awesome.
1:15:40 i'm okay. i mean, oh, never mind. i've been dead. he kicked me straight in the kidney. that is true. they came out the vinkey. did the weed twins die when the suv blew up in the matrix too? no, they got d rez'd because you don't, you see the, they're like digital ghosts fly up and go to heaven or whatever. i think there's still around. i'm still waiting for him to come back. you don't punch a guy in the back of the head. i don't care how much you hate him.
1:16:25 we need a matrix ranking. bro, they made them in order. the ranking is the order in which they came out. as much as i don't like the third one, and it, because it is pretty bad, the fourth one was even worse. stop giving me tutorials when i'm in the middle of beating their ass! there you go, two for one. all right, that was literally, that would be a top 10 fucking knockout on liveleak.
1:17:05 the simultaneous knockout is they did slug me. okay, that was a pretty good one. i do, i do care how many of you there are. that one could have killed me. that would have been a lethal shot. oh! maybe some poop juice would be good. i was thinking just whipping the fucking bottles at him too. grab a bottle, grab a bottle james! don't just stand there john! oh, he shit himself, he shit blood.
1:17:48 no, no, no, no, no, no, no! check this out. that's what we're looking for. oh, that's gotta sting, bro! i don't care if your mikkelsen is fucking furious, that's still gotta hurt. that's right, right on the corner. motherfucker. nice try, nerd. now they're on the same side, so we hit them with an alt 4, blow them up a little bit, divide and conquer.
1:18:42 holy shit, we made it to a fucking loading screen. they're like, shit, the world hockey championship's on. it's 2.15 in the morning in helsinki. we gotta go watch the world hockey championship. okay, where's the off switch? the wires, of course, the wires. you always cut the red one. shit, down to the wire. it's always in the last place you look, my pain. it's always in the last place you look.
1:19:29 the world cup was right there. is finland even in the world cup? i'm pretty sure canada mobs them in soccer. no disrespect. canada's only at the world cup because they're hosting three games. i mean, i think we're hosting like 12 games. we're only playing in three of them though. canada would qualify in this format for sure.
1:19:50 well, there's more than you could say about italy. my, i mean, what are they doing, man? what's going on? i don't know what you want me to say, but never thought i'd see the day my country's better at soccer than italy, but a human life's a long time, man. do you know how to handle a stick? i bet you know how to handle a stick.
1:20:30 i've known you for two seconds, lady. where do you fucking get off? telling me some shit i saw just because she thinks she's gonna die in a car accident. left! go left! okay, that one was actually really helpful. wait, this is so austin powers 2 coded? no sign of double oh nine. i can't recall your face, but your... fez is familiar? well, in that case, get down there, draw their fire. i'll thank them. we need to keep that plane on the ground.
1:21:09 what are we waiting for? there's that english so far. james. damn she fucked that car up more like bone chance. yes, dude, you can say it. she is james bond man. it's fucking he's irresistible. focus up. oh shit. oh shit. that bond was killed guys.
1:21:47 bond was killed. i'll tell you what though, i'd rather get shot than punched in the head by a tall finnish guy. seems to do a lot less damage. on second thought, i've decided to kill you. nice try, bud. now i got a damn smg, you're fucked. i guess it's up to me now. cheeky diarrhea dart would go kind of crazy. what's up, playboy? i love the last guy being a cowboy.
1:22:27 i can't see him. i can't see him. i'm not ready. dap him up. i mean, we gotta prove that we're not just all sound and fury. we got a little finesse in the james bond universe as well. this web motherfucker. slumped. bro, planes are really fast. you gotta run faster. you gotta run. you gotta, no.
1:23:20 get me to the damn rope, bro. you know i actually did this once? yeah, go ahead. one of those, you're dead. and then what the hell happened to the other guy? youch! stop, stop shooting! this is a, it's an avionics exercise. they did break his earbuds before a flight. that's fucked up, man.
1:24:26 let's make some turbulence. and then we just kind of hold this angle and then we send it back the other way. suspect spotted. yes sir. any casualty here? oh, catching you stumbling. bae caught me slipping. move forward now. i got to fucking puke man. what's going on? what the fuck?
1:25:24 i'm starting to think i shouldn't have done all that. new objective, get a damn parachute through the driver's seat? this one. oh, my bad y'all. bro, it's you? i'd give james bond a ride for sure. people died, james. james, there's people that's dying.
1:26:35 sorry to intrude. i'm sir nicholas i'm i'm santa claus! i'm the only one here. national security advisor and ceo of web industries. i was going to say i'm sorry for your loss. why did you do it? if i may ask, risk your life on a million to one chance? i couldn't do nothing. i didn't pass my gcses and my a levels for maths. yes, i know the feeling. you're a rare breed. i should be interested to see what you do next.
1:27:16 cut to him in the bathroom with his shirt off. sorry, i couldn't think of what to say. he's taking his shirt off dump because he has ibs and all the stress has triggered his bowels to evacuate faster than would be typical for an average person.
1:27:41 these are the facts. 009 is acting on some archaic vendetta against mi6. his actions have brought us to our knees and we are in the midst of a full blown diplomatic crisis. this is exactly the kind of cock up that foreign secretary bryce... it's crazy to think this is what the meetings look like when those trudeau halloween costume photos came out. however, it's not all bad. thanks to bond's quick thinking and your eye for detail, greenway, thayer's managed to pin down 009's whereabouts.
1:28:12 i'm sending you to mauritania to bring him back any way you say. yeah, yeah, the a.i.'s determined his last known location. he was eating spaghetti in jerry seinfeld's apartment with the cast of the simpsons. here's a mock up. yeah, yeah, and here's what he would look like if he had big muscles and he replaced ray liotta in the trailer for goodfellas. and i need you two to work together. am i being clear? perfectly, mom.
1:28:46 bond, you go and see q for your gear and moneypenny for your briefing. you're dismissed. bottle of water for you, mate. happy to help. quick bottle of water for you, mate. this is an insufferable and immature behavior i'm talking about. and this will not... you are on your way downstairs, i believe. lady, i'm scoping out your fucking office. if you don't want to shit your pants... if you don't want to shit your pantsuit, just chill out. don't fucking tell me what to do.
1:29:21 everybody crap your pants. i'm also thi and this is not like a particularly intellectual stim to be stuck in your head, but at one point i saw a, uh, a comment about the end of superman, the james gunn movie where he's in, well, okay, spoilers, but anyway, there's a song that plays
1:29:44 and it says, i'm a punk rocker, yes i am. but someone wrote, i'm a butt fucker, yes i am. and now, maybe once a week it just pops into my head. cuz i'm a butt fucker, yes i am. and him laughing. him like tears down his face and smiling and laughing. oh, cocksucker goes better? i'm a cocksucker, yes i am.
1:30:14 same, but mine's for the batman. something in my ass. okay, that was pretty good too. we have a, we've invented an anti grief liquid. it's called whiskey. i take my whiskey need. i forgive you just this once. identity verified.
1:30:37 marty, i could do this, i could do this. my skin's dry and two lumps in tea. you're too sweet for me. check this out. it seems like it would have hurt pretty bad. test new, i've successfully tested, am i freaking out?
1:31:14 what do you want me to do? hold alt. oh, the lock! i thought i was just blasting the dummy in the head. of course, the lock that's glowing blue. this reminds me, oh my god, i have to pause because otherwise they're going to talk over it.
1:31:39 we went to heidi lau with corey on saturday. i can't believe i forgot about this. we ordered way too much food, but part of the way too much was that we got two of the noodle dances, which we thought was appropriate because there were four people. so we're like, you need like four servings of noodles. we'll get two regular and then two with the dance. we thought the dude would do like one dance with twice as many noodles or something. so like, you know, an hour into eating,
1:32:07 the guy comes over with the bluetooth speaker, puts it down and it's blasting like chinese nu metal and he goes like, and he's flinging the noodle around and like doing spins and stuff and putting it around himself and moonwalking and he's whipping the noodles. and it's like, i felt it hit me like in the hat. i was wearing a hat. i felt it hit the hat, but i was like, that's cool. that's funny as fuck.
1:32:33 so anyway, he does that for like, you know, 30 seconds and he puts the noodles in the broth and he walks away. and then his manager is like, wait, wait, wait, they got two. so he comes back.
1:32:44 and kory and i are killing ourselves laughing already because it's insane that they're going to make him do the dance again. but he came back with another set of noodles and did exactly the same dance. but this time he hit everybody with the noodles, like just a little flick, but he hit everybody with the noodles.
1:33:03 and we were like, this has got to be humiliating. but then at the end he goes to rip them so that he can make the flour into multiple noodles and he just drops it straight on the floor. and he goes like, his shoulders just slumped. and then we all went, oh. so we had to go back into the kitchen and get more noodles and do the dance a third time.
1:33:31 and i'm sure the dude was crashing out, because corey and i were laughing the whole time. i could not look at him doing the dance, because it had been like almost maybe five or ten minutes of him doing the noodle dance at this point.
1:33:47 and then finally he tore them and he put them in the broth. but i was losing it. kate had like a little flower stain. she had like a flower mark on her cheek because when he was whipping the noodles around, he hit her in the cheek with the flour or with the noodle. it was awesome, man. i mean, i genuinely, genuinely awesome.
1:34:13 did you give him a shie shie after? no, but the waitress did like knock something over and she said, she said, all right, i know i handed something to her and she said thank you and i went bukukchi.
1:34:28 and then she went, she did give me some white boy swag. she went, so good. i was like, yeah. and then i didn't say anything else in mandarin for the rest of the dinner. but i was like, i think i used it appropriately. she did not expect the bukkake. always leave him wanting more.
1:34:51 here we have the dart phone, smoke pods, flash mine and laser strap. your maximum loadout is two. still two? i just saw like three of my friends die. what do you mean my maximum loadout is two? hooked up heidi lau noodle dance on youtube. the first video is awesome. i can't believe you made him do it three times. we thought if we ordered two noodle dances, he would just bring twice as many noodles and do one dance. also, the
1:35:20 noodle dance they price it too cheap because the noodles are like 490 and the noodle dance is the exact same price. the noodle dance is also 490. is that the canadian equivalent of when they put the moose head on you at your birthday?
1:35:34 literally was crazy. i know what you're talking about because i've been to montana's for a birthday but the only person who i know in my life who wants to go to montana's for their birthday is my mother in law. she goes fucking crazy for that moose head man. swanky? swanky mentioned new cine2nerdle link for swanky.
1:36:03 a sore loser mate that's not even funny slovakian opposition accuses government of neglecting okay after budget cuts politicians never disappoint this is not an appropriate fit for office attire reason for it is pure fantasy oh hang on i found the i found the mole historical sites destroyed in freak accidents on the same day
1:36:30 this is not office appropriate. oh shit, no wait, we're in the nerd cave, i forgot. it's not that, honestly, it's just the back that looks obscene. the front is okay, he's kind of dressed like an old 1900s gymnast or something.
1:36:51 you're just jealous i can't do shirt tucked in i don't know what it is i i honestly i think part of it is that i have long torso short legs so shirt tucked in even if i got the fit right it doesn't look right and then also
1:37:08 i can never tuck it in, if it looks good at the front, it looks too bad at the back. it's all like bunched up at the back. otherwise it's kind of like spilling out over the top, not the meat but the fabric and it's like it just doesn't look good, just doesn't fit right man. rise and shine, we're almost there. i take the road less traveled by. when we get to a left, not when we're almost at a left. this jeep defender can really just handle the off road hills in a left.
1:37:41 oh, drive assist has been took oh shit. oh, motherfucker. wheels locked up on me. how many ducks we got on the damn windshield? why does every streamer do this? because fuck the sponsored content in the game! if they wanted me to be nice, they should have sponsored me!
1:38:09 they should have sponsored me instead of io interactive and instead i'm gonna take your jeep defender i'm gonna drive it into the hills outside of a left. it's a land rover? whatever. how long do you think i would last in a place like this? an hour? you think i can make it an hour at the pirate king's black market in mauritania?
1:38:35 i've always kind of seen myself as the guy that walks into a situation like this and then i crack a joke and then the pirate king looks at me and like all of his henchmen go like like they prep their guns and then he goes like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
1:39:07 i'm fucking living it up. i'm like, even though like i don't think i can make it like this guy like what's going on here? i'm just i don't have a problem with it's just the slides are kind of crazy. corey, i gotta get my friend corey a souvenir.
1:39:32 i'll have you know i have a friend who smokes more of these than anybody else on planet earth. i was talking. yeah, i'm talking. corey, corey, i found your favorite store.
1:39:57 wait, now this. no, my projection screen. i didn't do anything, bro. you guys are being dickheads. i've been killed. james bond has had his pelvis snapped in half. you're a long way from bristol, mate.
1:40:37 they won't let me walk behind. i saw this black market in tripadvisor. i don't want any trouble. someone's gonna die. bro, i'm getting back energy from taking you down. how does that make you feel about your place in the universe? fuck it, i'll keep laying on him.
1:41:15 i hate this fucking job, man. just trying to make small talk. oh yeah, going here to get my baby monitor?
1:41:47 walking into the open air arms market. you guys gotta head, well i'm here. my wife's gonna fucking kill me if i don't come back with something. that's the pirate king. good attitude to have as a tourist. pretty common attitude to have as a tourist.
1:42:17 guys, watch out. i've heard there's pickpockets here. the only way to protect yourself is to wear your gold disney cruise lanyard at all times so everybody knows you're a high value target and you're not to be fucked with. tariq here does not agree with that sentiment. he believes he should not have to pay his share and for that
1:42:52 he must be punished. i want to get away he wants to fly away what's your favorite song of mine, man? it ain't over till it's over. good choice. good choice. guess what buddy? it's over. he kind of sounds like lenny kravitz. it is lenny kravitz!
1:43:35 our protection is for the care of everyone in our great city of steel and sand, is it not? that's pretty cool. men, women, and the children, what kind of monsters would we be if we denied this child the care she requires? what kind of man would he be if he did not fight for her? what kind of man or what kind of american woman? let it be known that while in the bosom of our left,
1:44:09 the child shall want for nothing from this moment on. i thought they hit him with the dramatic chipmunk. yeah, ayo, i need my scarf to be at least 10 times bigger than that. bring him to the girls. trouble in paradise? well, you know what they say about paradise, bond? say what you will! watch out for the snakes. it's a hell of a third place. it's got a little bit of everything. but say what you want about it. wait, here i am. keep this place together. absolutely.
1:44:59 yeah, yeah, i'm going, yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who
1:45:29 of course you are. it gets you to the door and into the auction. i'll be back. i am sure you will. if you'll excuse me, i'm looking to buy a charge $1 a kiss is crazy. no, i can't do that, james. looks like i'm getting my hands dirty then. in the market for something rare? tariq wasn't a threat to him or anyone here in alif. he was a good man. daniel ricardo? he didn't deserve to die like that. fool. cool. he didn't have to kill my friend.
1:46:02 two words first word conversation juggling six seven six seven you tell me to talk to a guy at the bar to start the fight i guess i should start listening to the npcs when i have a conversation with them
1:46:29 not omar, man. damn! okay, he came out kinda hot. okay, he's gonna kill me. watch this.
1:47:09 alright, omar's dead. who's next? bro, omar ain't home. omar's never coming back, he's surfing right now. what, two at once? we're gonna need more bottles, man. oh, motherfucker. i can't even see!
1:47:47 i can't! okay, what am i supposed to do? what am i supposed to do when the camera's inside of the wall, man? oh shit, the final. oh my, he's fucking crazy! he's fucking insane! i can't fight this guy! never mind, he's kind of a baby. he's kind of oh shit. he punched me in the throat and a blood clot went straight to my brain. can you use the watch? wait, that's a great idea. i'm about to get killed and then he's oh.
1:48:24 oh, drop me. did you see me win the 2v1? little unethical, but it got the job done. 60k little man, how you doing? why is he sleeping like when your roommate gets too drunk in university? people start screaming, you gotta put him in the recovery position.
1:49:10 i'd like to use my jog, please. that fucking is shroud, man. if shroud can make it in a left, i can make it in a left. watch this. i blinded him with a laser.
1:49:46 i don't feel good about that, man. i've electrocuted him to death, dude. thanks for the light show, boys. enjoying the light show, lads?
1:50:07 i'm locking in. nah. must be some kind of scam.
1:50:39 no. you know what? maybe i'll give it one try. there it is. red solo cup, juffle you up. well this is gonna be the easiest jewel i've ever earned. it's obviously in the middle. i don't see how this could be possible.
1:51:25 this time i'm really gonna lock in. yes. now you watch it, it starts in the middle. yeah, yeah, i know man, i know. just fucking shuffle it up. we're watching, it's in the middle cup, it's in the left. it's in the middle. it's on the right. it's in the left, it's gone right, it's in the middle. but here's the thing, it's a 50 50. this is not in the fucking middle, cuz i saw that it's in the middle, so obviously it's not in the middle. so we're gonna go left.
1:52:05 motherfucker man in the middle fine, i'll use q vision guess the cup correctly and walk away with the jewel of jahari mm hmm. yeah, i'm ready. yeah. yeah, there it is, man and then what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna choose one that it's under the middle and i'm gonna learn how to do the trick and then i'm gonna open my own business doing this middle cup what?
1:52:44 i don't understand. how did you do that? no catch, eh? the jewel, arden. hand it over. no! no way! you cheated! you set me up! give me the jewel. is there a problem here, arden? no problem, gentlemen. in fact, my new friend here was just about to let me collect my winnings. can i say something? why don't you just buy like a piece of shit off aliexpress or something like that? the craziest thing to me is that you're using a real jewel in the whole
1:53:11 the whole thing is with a real jewel? you could have just been using like a plastic jewel or something. i assumed there was going to be like a second element to this, but he's actually like his cortisol spiked. yeah, yeah, that's right. go on, take it. i can feel my life changing already.
1:53:29 it's kind of a vibe man. she's practicing for a tiktok dance. she's on the aleph peloton treadmill.
1:53:55 a treadmill that has like a persian rug instead of the fucking... instead of whatever the fuck the treadmills normally made out of. that's actually a great bit. the treadmill that has a persian rug as the tread. oh man. this is a damn vibe, man. bro, you can't be in the black market in... wait, this just cracked out uncle 100%. the freshest and best muffin is right here.
1:54:27 can somebody pull up a side to side? also, you can't be wearing the vineyard vines shirt in the black market, bro. they're gonna know you're not from around here. yeah? too weak for this? yeah, yeah? yeah? now your garbage bag's on fire. i know! she's like corey.
1:55:01 mm, mm. what's that? what's that incredible smell? oh, wait, wait, wait, i got a great idea. hit it with the laser. smoke grenade. execute you and then just fucking walk up the damn stairs, man. he's just standing there, it's so good.
1:55:38 should have given me like a bigger battery in this or at least like one of those bricks you put on the back of your phone to give it more battery when you're like at pax and stuff. called magsafe bond, it charges your phone at 5% an hour. sounds good, what's the catch? never show that you have it or everybody that you meet will say, hey can i get a charge? my phone's on 2%. i mean seriously, why did you guys not charge your phones while you're sleeping? i don't even know if my phone has ever made it below 50%.
1:56:11 people are walking around with like 20% all damn day. you saw that? no! oh, he punched me in the back of the head and slum me. it kills the battery? it does not kill the battery, man. i'm watching entire movies. my phone's going down to like 92%. watch this. fuck, bro, this is my accountant. sorry, i made a mistake.
1:56:54 i think you'll find that you are the one who's in for a beating. your helmet just fell off, bro. oh! that's literally a line from the matrix, kid. wait, did he fucking hit an indie grab? he drank the beer that makes you a skater? watch this.
1:57:31 slumped. too late, backup ain't on the way. situation fucking contained. you're goddamn right. now that i see always a whole bunch of half walls and shit objects for distraction. my, i guess you're not just supposed to sprint through there. shit. roots are powerful fighters guys. yeah.
1:58:08 that's space. you gotta use space for that one? i'm in trouble. get him! i'm in trouble every time i face an enemy that throws. what are your thoughts on bald john travolta? i actually am unfortunately really digging his, uh, his beret look. and then apparently when he was asked about it, he was like, what?
1:58:38 it's not okay for a guy to wear a beret? i think he looks kind of awesome. i think he looks like kristoff. oh my god, i dodged one! i didn't dodge that one though. oh, that's that's not how i want to go man. that was coffin flop.
1:59:00 playing binding of isaac rebirth on ps vita right now might be the worst game i've ever played. they shouldn't have put the nausea filter in the ps vita version of the game that makes it run at 11 frames per second. but keep in mind, you have to go back to like 14 years ago when that shit came out and then like understand that that's all we had, man. hello. everybody up here paid 100 grand? it's like the bored ape rave. stop pointing that gun at me.
1:59:33 the temptation to just shoot everybody in the eyes with a laser pointer is way too strong. all bids must pass through the polygraph. should you fail the polygraph, you will be removed. the auction list does look like dan's always on tv guide. they don't know he's back.
2:00:01 and aleph hasn't figured out that he had a live show today. they're still watching him play super smash bros. ultimate.
2:00:29 i am nikola konevich. good. and now to one of our newer faces. go ahead, please, mr. when your arm's broken so your mom has to take the polygraph test for you. call me james. i'm just here for the hors d'oeuvres and free drinks. dial it down. excellent. now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, we begin with an opening bid from our new guests. gentlemen, the bid is yours.
2:01:02 one million us dollars. a cash bid.
2:01:08 i'm afraid this isn't that kind of auction, my friend. you have forfeited your opening position and the bid is now free. what the fuck? embarrassing, man. safe passage to, from, and to all of our harbors. no inspections, no questions. complete and utter diplomatic cover. what the fuck? i can't match that. that's like, that's gotta be like 150 million dollars.
2:01:37 i can't do anything... i can't even get close to that.
2:02:03 anyone care to raise the stakes? two offers on the table. a foot long cold cut combo with harvest cheddar, sun chips and a dr. pepper zero. a hush falls over the crowd. then it comes up. liar. no, our new friends must have thought we were stupid. nobody could afford that. of course.
2:02:32 acta polygraph well that hasn't happened in quite some time what is this something's wrong with this and mr. leon i'm very surprised time to go mr. leon watch that's right, that's right we are done. you have no idea what you're doing. oh
2:03:01 wei shenma! wei shenma!
2:03:18 going once. now's your chance? going twice, anyone? blueprints for the next generation of solar pNLs. scalable, compact. damn, i don't think they're gonna give a fuck, man. now that is what i call a wonderful offer. i don't even know what the fuck i'm bidding on, man. the drone? that doesn't seem like that's worth it. surely someone has something to offer.
2:03:44 i'd say from this every weapon used by my soul will come only from unlimited volume exclusive contract with unlimited volume i like it she infinite money your bid is infinite money we're out of time three decades of mi6 intel what always do the unexpected right interesting
2:04:14 that beat infinite money? okay, we have 900 more drones to go! that's the first drone!
2:04:45 the new wheel in the next drone! doesn't that mean anything to you?
2:05:24 nice try. pay attention, picard. you only have one choice to make here. you could stay with bavma. but you'll go down with him and you'll watch as we turn this whole place to dust. or you could take the throne. and our superiors will continue to turn a blind eye to all that goes on here. hurry up, mate. the footy's on on thursday. we ain't got all week. throw in box seats at the menu and we have a deal. strepford end.
2:05:58 best we can do. we both know that's not true. fine, done. well, guess he's not a good learner. you have some sway after all. i want to swap jerseys with chicharito. who's gonna who's gonna tell him james chicharito hasn't kitted up for men's men use since 2013. find the boat, a gift from babma when he first arrived. you're the bad guy. i'm literally a good guy. i work for the government.
2:06:36 scariest words to the most dad joke of all time. scariest words you can ever hear. we're from the government. we're here to help. know what i'm talking about? dads and uncles out there. nothing. what would make you think this is normal, man? look at this situation. oh shit. i'm not stumbling. i was shooting you in the eye with laser beams.
2:07:07 well, you know what? i'll exit to menu for now. assuming it doesn't lose my mission progress. i had a great time playing 007 today. it feels good to be back.
2:07:16 it's kind of crazy for me that after two days of playing this game, i met where i saw malf like an hour after it came out. but i guess i've been going around. malf has a reputation for being very fast at games and he doesn't really do his due diligence and he just shoots his way through. me on the other hand, i like to figure out the most surgical way through and really pay attention to all the details in the environment and stuff like that. so we're very different sorts of gamers, of course. tomorrow we'll play more 007.
2:07:45 we have lethal company. wednesday, me, kate, dan and bear have a sponsored stream and then we'll do some other stuff as well. thursday, we got some new friend slop that's kind of like prop... actually, no, wait, wait, wait. i know i said we were playing 007 tomorrow. road to empress 2 comes out tonight. tonight. like 8 a.m. tuesday china time, which i think is like 10 p.m. tonight. so we got to play road to empress 2 tomorrow along with lethal company.
2:08:15 thursday we got a mecha chameleon which is like a prop hunt game combined with a pintorio. you kind of like have to draw your own camouflage. that's what's going on for the first four days this week. friday, i think we got jackbox. it's that simple. see you tomorrow though. for now i will send you over to my wife's stream. have patience. i hear her in the kitchen perhaps preparing some lunch. but i will send you over to my wife's stream and enjoy.
2:08:49 goodnight!
2:09:21 i want to dolphin dive into tackle popping my ult when you do your... what is it called? atomic punch line! sorry! but i can't stop. just because i said sorry doesn't mean i'm gonna stop. up where they pog, up where they stun, up where they spam mist all day for their fun! wish i could...