It's the chillest sport on earth (Disc Golf Masters)

Name: It's the chillest sport on earth (Disc Golf Masters)
Uploaded: 2026-07-22
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "It's the chillest sport on earth (Disc Golf Masters)" (Disc Golf Masters) — 44 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-22Disc Golf Masters

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44 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 express. are you trolling me bro? nine? first off, last time we played the game we were in the middle of a hurricane. this time not a number difficulty. the difficulty is not a number which i'm assuming means it's so difficult that it's 32.5 million difficult and then the weather is a moderate breeze. no man they're trolling us. and when i did all that tech support created a short in my headphone cable. there we go. i got stereo audio again.
0:33 we're in a new mount vernon, washington at 2293 freeway drive. that's the closest panda express to me and that's fucked up. that's a long ass trip man, and they don't fuck with me there. well actually mount vernon's kind of fucking with me. bellingham wants me dead. all because i said they don't have any escalators. but anyway, you guys have a manchu walk? i'm not sure any other vancouverites here. i don't know if we have a manchu walk. we have a we have a flaming walk.
1:11 in the pacific center, which is like our bigger mall downtown. but i don't know if there's a proper manchu walk in vancouver. there might be one in coquitlam or burnaby. hang on. then we want to undershoot it because we're going downhill, but we still obviously we have to clear the rock and i didn't even account for the breeze. there's two in bellingham. bro, bellingham's further away than mount vernon. justin, you got a lot to learn. you still eat your boogers?
1:52 oh, so it's okay for him to ask a thousand times, but if i ask once, but if i ask once, it's crazy? i'll take that. any day of the week, i'll take that. justin finn also asked if you were gonna do the morning ride. i cut him some slack, because they weren't... they haven't been around for that long on the peloton rides. if you see me posting in the peloton discord at 5.50 in the morning, yeah, i'll be on the peloton ride. you got nothing to worry about. it's not mid range. you think this is a mid range? this is a joke. this is what you fucking want right here. you want...
2:51 you want that with a little... and it's gonna come back the other way any second now. not the one part of the wall that's been destroyed by marauders. okay, this is not a push putt situation. it's not a spin putt. this is a standstill. that stings to be honest with you, but you know what? we stay under par. 92 miles... i was gonna say 92 miles an hour. 92 miles uphill. it's this beast right here. and don't hit the freaking branches. i will flip the fuck out. you have one job.
3:34 absolutely wonderful approach. clean. 88 meters downhill. downhill with the rock backstopping us. i mean this is a classic. honestly, i think it's a run up. undershoot. ride the natural fade to an ace. this is our first ace right here. off the hard surface of the rock, upwards. not under the bridge! and then i fucking ripped it. god damn it man. mount vernon is south of bellingham. i can't believe you. i literally live in portland, oregon.
4:31 i winter in vancouver, i summer in portland, okay? i think this is a... literally a four hand full power mid range shot downhill. that sapling was recently added by the park board, otherwise that's going in. what do you know about portland? i went there for a magic the gathering tournament once. it was nice, man. it's a lot like vancouver, or should i say, if we're doing the attribution properly, vancouver's a lot like it. 89 meters. give me the fortress.
5:32 just like that. not full power. damn, the thing took off like a rocket. like it levitated like a vtol jet. i liked it, man. i mean, i was only there for a weekend. what do you want me to say? i can't stand by like everything that's ever happened in the city, but the restaurants are nice. people seem nice. good ice cream. they have a train. beats los angeles in that regard. they have a train that goes through the city. great sketch comedy show with an absolutely goated intro. bong, bong, bong, bong.
6:35 you know what i'm talking about? washed out. home of the biggest disc golf summer camp in the world at minoka springs. we're minus four on a whole nine. i mean, if we could get to minus five, that would be pretty good considering the... i mean, these are the kind of weather conditions that have pokemon go forcing you to tap a button that says, i'm safe. that way the saudi government can't be held responsible for what happens to you when you're trying to catch that osha wat. now watch this drive.
7:14 oh, we hit a damn thermal. oh, oh, oh! ninety four. this one, going too short is way more deleterious than going too far. we're gonna throw a little skipper, like gilligan. and then you dodge the branches. bro, that's a late ass fade! let me see the stats on that disc. let me see the flight pattern. that's false advertising. we should have been way closer on that one. final score minus five. that's pretty good, man.
8:04 we've advanced to tier pro from tier not set for the 3000th time. i don't think we're getting minus nine just to be honest with you. i don't think that's the kind of thing that's gonna happen if i had to guess. let's do a little quick match. look at my match history, bro. i came in first place with a plus 28. it was a different damn world. banana for all fun. watching nl in the hospital is a vibe. not to be nicole kidman about the hospital. i'll say it.
8:52 it is the loca and there's a distinction that's required here. it is the location in the earth where sandwiches taste the best. now that does not mean that they have the best sandwiches. i would say if anything they have the worst sandwiches because they're not a restaurant. they're like full of healthcare professionals that are trying to make you feel better. but the sandwiches in the hospital taste so good because you don't know when the next one's gonna show up. and also every single one is of course giving you like healing power.
9:25 i need to cancel this run up. this is not the way man. this is the way. screwed up my damn shot. didn't throw it at an angle. not out of bounds. not out of bounds. not out of bounds. fuck being bricked up bro. look at my damn pose. i got wood. and what a fucking putt. hospital sandwich or airplane kamado? i say kamado? things don't taste as good on the airplane as they things taste worse on an airplane. worse.
10:21 except for ginger ale and i just i don't like tomato juice so i'm not gonna like you only get one thimble full of liquid every hour and a half two and a half hours so i'm not gonna waste my thimble on tomato juice when i'm like getting dried out by the fucking recycled air okay, it's just not gonna happen save that for the next guy everything tastes better in a hospital i'm not saying you should take your meals there. i'm just saying
10:50 it's like the difference between how your food tastes when your mom cooks it when you're a kid and how it tastes when your mom cooks the same food when you're 30. mom making you dinner when you're 16? yeah, like it's alright i guess. i'm kind of sick of it. i wish you oh, mom. can't you make mom, i wanted i saw sukemen online. can you make me some dipping noodles? i don't want to have roast beef. but then when you're fucking 28 and your mom makes you a dinner, you're like, oh my god, thank you for your selfless act of nurture.
11:20 i greatly appreciate it. that's like the hospital. if someone served you, if you ordered a sandwich and someone served you an egg salad sandwich on the worst white bread you've ever had at like a restaurant, you would be like, fuck this place. when they give it to you at the hospital, you're genuinely like, this is, this meal means more to me right now. it means something to me. it's nutrients to keep me alive. it's an act of love from the nursing staff. like,
11:53 it's a spiritual ritual in my opinion or whatever. i make food in the psych ward, we just throw this shit in the microwave. are you the... do you work there or are you a patient? because then i'm gonna... because if you're a patient i think it's possible the sentence is literal. you might literally be throwing shit in the microwave. or are you an employee who heats up... because i don't care! a warm meal is a warm meal man! i'm not expecting them to have heston blumenthal in the back doing molecular gastronomy.
12:33 just make a big pot of stew or something like that, it's okay! we got bigger problems! we're convalescing here! that was for fucking par. the only thing, like okay, so obviously i wasn't giving birth before you fucking say we gave birth, but the only thing that pissed me off about the hospital food when my wife gave birth is that literally the day before she had like a human being pulled out of her abdomen,
13:19 the following morning they said, hey make sure you don't order too much. meanwhile when they send you home they're like yeah eat a lot, make sure you eat a lot of food. but the day after they're like don't order too much like we're on tight rations in the hospital. and i was starving to fucking death obviously kate had bigger problems don't get me wrong. but she was like i think i just want like a waffle
13:45 do you want something?" and i said like really under my breath i was like yeah put a couple of like breakfast sandwiches on there too because i'm really hungry. and then when it came they pulled off the cloche and the waffle was literally like the size of two triscuits glued together. and on the menu they described it as like a handmade belgian waffle
14:08 which i don't expect that to be there, but like why lie and get your hopes up. but then the breakfast sausages were like two breakfast sausages that had been cut in half from a larger breakfast sausage. so you're like, you know, it's not that i expected the food to be good, but you had like the trappings. you had the trappings of a good restaurant, but then that just you couldn't back it up. crazy first time chat message. wait, no, it was not a first time chat message. it got caught by auto mod.
14:39 first half of the message, i hope you die. good job, automod. second half of the message, literally the only thing that you could put after it to make it good. i hope we both die! i hope i cut myself shaving tomorrow. i hope i bleed all day long. our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises. we're pretty sure they're all wrong. you're not fucking with the mountain goats, automod? automod ain't fucking with john darnielle?
15:04 i hope it stays dark forever motherfuckers in alaska in the in the wintertime. i hope the worst is it over? motherfucker man, i mean one thing it's a fucking other maybe the meanest song ever. yeah, i mean it's coming from a place of pain motherfucker. oh i'd like to i want to listen to some nicer music. what are you talking about? it's
15:54 some nicer music. damn, i might have thrown on this one. we got one hole left. i didn't say it's a bad thing. well, you kind of... there was an implication. there was an implication, okay? what's the nicest song ever? probably the disc golf masters menu music. you can make it over the rock, man. also, i'm pretty sure eminem has some meaner songs. doesn't he have songs about killing his mom? he said, i hope you die. he didn't say, i'm going to kill you. that's two different things.
16:42 i didn't say one's good just before i get clipped out of context. check that out. dying because my disc cuts a poisonous mushroom cap from its stock and then i get the spores on my finger and then later i lick my finger to check the wind and i didn't realize it's a death cap mushroom and i'm in the hospital ordering 15 waffles and 100 sandwiches. oh can i get
17:30 can i get 50 breakfast sausages? i just, i'm really... i know i'm only supposed to order as much as i can eat. can i get 50 breakfast sausages? can i get 300 sausages please? you keep saying sandwich instead of sausage? yeah, you'll have to excuse me. i'm not at my best, man.
17:58 i do, i agree with you. i like the apple juice cups. i actually, i fuck with the apple juice that comes in like the... they used to use it for like mcdonald's breakfast when i was a little kid. it's like the short and stubby dimpled plastic apple juice. it tastes better out of those. worst way to drink apple juice, hands down, juice box. and don't even get me started if the juice box is lukewarm. that might as well be piss. it's the same damn course, man.
18:29 and it's a strong breeze exactly the way we drew it up. now i'm not much of an artist, still pretty good. oh, that's honestly that's a tough putt, tough putt. nine meters straight back, straight back huh? how about this then? i think that was an amazing shot. how's tomodachi going? honestly my daughter played a little tomodachi on my save.
19:30 she fucked up my tianbao by buying a bunch of shit in the store, but i was happy to check on the island. honestly, mao confessed his love, he wanted to confess his love to elizabeth holmes, right? so he invited her on a date to the ferris wheel. lady didn't even fucking show up, bro. she didn't show up. he was saying some shit like, alright, they didn't show up. i guess i was wrong.
20:05 and then he got like a little purple teardrop over his head for the rest of the day. don't let your crown slip, king. also for some reason he had like hatsune miku hair. i don't know. i guess they kind of they were like the mayor's never coming back. we might as well, you know, rush the barber. we can do anything we want. more power to him, i guess. with the wind in my face, bro, the smell of prickly pear. yeah, i don't think so. i think you just send it here and pray for the best. literally the tree saved our life.
21:08 easiest birdie in my life. you ever gone on a tangent about pickleball? i feel like you'd have strong opinions about pickleball. i hate to disappoint you. i do not have strong opinions about pickleball. my opinion on pickleball is going to annoy you probably if you're watching the stream. i'm like very positive to anything that gets people out of the house and like socializing with other human beings. irl.
21:34 i was definitely never one of those tennis guys who's like the tennis courts are all like awash with pickleball players so i can't play tennis. i'm the tennis player who hates other tennis players because i could never play tennis because all the tennis courts are awash with fucking tennis players bro. not really their fault for playing tennis at the tennis courts but like i got no beef with the pickleball players. if i could get some of the retirees to like
21:57 maybe wait until, i don't know, everyone else is at work to go to the tennis courts? instead of just squatting on the tennis court looking at their phone at like quarter after six in the morning in the summertime? and then as soon as you go to use the tennis court they stand up and they're like, no actually i was just a minute away from playing tennis. hey watch this. beautiful shot. oh motherfucker. i don't even know where the damn hole is. honestly i feel like this just goes. i know we got a tailwind but, devastating.
22:54 great pot, holy shit. what the fuck? i hit a branch? whatever, we're still owning. dodge. good dodge. great thermal. split the uprights. where the hell's the hole, man? it's a hell of a drive. something like this. and dodge the motherfucking evergreens. my thing is they keep building pickleball courts instead of tennis courts because they're cheaper and now we got no place to play tennis. don't get me wrong, that sucks. but as someone who doesn't really play either anymore, i'm just like, i'm just happy people are getting out there, man.
23:59 i'm not saying you should switch from tennis to pickleball, but like anything that gets people, i mean i'm becoming like a single issue, like not even voter, but like a single issue liver. my single issue is like even if you are never using your phone, you're probably using it too much and you should be doing something else and once you die, you are, your soul is going to vanish, you're not going to exist anymore and you only get one chance. so i would say go out there and bang the pickleball around
24:28 well, you still have the chance, i guess is what i'm trying to say. not to ruin anybody's life. and then just fucking catch a thermal, man. the real people that i got a bone to pick with is the dog walkers, bro, because i'm trying to play disc golf at kilcena park, but the damn dog... well, i haven't been yet, but i've heard that the dog walkers are just... it's a wash with dog walkers. largely speaking, the people on their phones? yeah, i know. so i can help them. that's right. that's a very good observation.
25:17 there's still time. the fuck was that, bro? they think i'm paul bunyan. amazing hole, bro. go outside, says the dude without an actual bike. if you were a real stream viewer, which i'm glad you're not because we've established you probably spend too much time on your phone anyway even if you spend no time on your phone, you would know that i actually have a real bike and i rode it to the grocery store hella quick early in the morning last week because my daughter was missing the bread that she needs in order to have the one kind of sandwich that she enjoys for her day camp.
26:05 also, and i wish no evil on them because it's just banta, lad. it's just banta. but literally two of the people in the peloton discord who have hit me with the real bike discourse, i've thrown out a wellness check and been like, where are they? and they're like, oh yeah, i fell off my real bike and got road rash and now i can't go, i can't bike inside or outside for a month because i had 37 stitches put into my calf. so i'm just saying, it wasn't me. i didn't throw a stick into their spokes, okay?
26:38 but just be careful because karma's got a way of...karma is my bestie is what i'm trying to say i guess. might be the best in the world of this game. i don't know if...can we play nine holes in 10 minutes? i'm gonna say probably not. i don't know how many stitches 37 is but it seems like a lot. check in has started 16 minutes ago. i'm gonna say i'm ready and then i'm gonna do nine holes of uh...i'm gonna do nine holes of canyon park or whatever it's called.
27:21 on the bronze level. where's skylar by the way? not skylar white but skylar kroom. had a good ride this weekend. i'm trying out a bold new training strategy where instead of like going pretty hard every day and never setting a pv,
27:52 i'd like go really hard one day and then take like two days to just do recovery rides. i'd like a 252 watt average 90 minute ride on sunday. felt pretty damn good man. pretty, pretty slick with it. not even close to a pb but it did feel damn good. i'm not gonna lie to you. oh this could be the ace we've been waiting for.
28:25 we do need to host a bob dylan ride. oh, but what would it start? it's gotta start with rainy day women 12 and 35. i'm sorry, if you're doing a bob dylan ride and you're not starting with side one track one of blonde on blonde, then what's wrong with you? i get you could start it a little wistfully. you could start it with like tangled up in blue or some shit like that and like set the tone, but you have to start with, now stone you when you're trying to shake your tooth. we gotta start it with that, man.
29:02 what are we ending it with? i'm gonna make you fucking sweat divisions of joanna, bro. if you don't get it by the start of the ride, you're gonna fucking get it by the end of the ride. i promise you that shit. ain't it just like the ride to play tricks when you're trying to be so quiet? no, don't fucking do it, walt. what the fuck? okay, check this out. crazy idea for a shot. drop it right down.
29:50 i will pay for you to take singing lessons? alright man, thanks. what was stopping me was the money. thank you so much for removing the one obstacle that keeps me from being a good singer. oh man. father fucker! fuck it, we're playing mahjong. put me in.