He's a smooth awperator (Counter-Strike 2)

Name: He's a smooth awperator (Counter-Strike 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-08
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "He's a smooth awperator (Counter-Strike 2)" (Counter-Strike 2) — 68 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-08Counter-Strike 2

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68 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 it's not too bad. you know how to play anubis now? no, bro. i mean, i'm pissed off because i voted against anubis. like, i voted to ban it. and they said, nah. i guarantee in the comms they were saying some shit like, nobody knows how to play anubis. we'll just vote for it, man. you're so fucking real for this. hey man, can you sign in with your password? then maybe we could send you a one time passcode to your phone? oh, by the way, you want to make a passkey? hey, which one of these are traffic lights and which one of these are couches?
0:40 cybersecurity is my passion. you want to access your bank account? please answer me these questions three that literally they're advertising condoms on the homepage like nah, man average podcaster. no, man. well, look at look at my society man. cs go the games being run by the devil the devil's ever the antichrist is everywhere. they're trying to sell condoms in the video game now, man.
1:26 that's crazy, man. you know what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? motherfuckers used to say that all the time and you almost never see a motherfucker say that anymore.
1:44 people whose favorite movie is repo the genetic opera and may or may not have a big buffy the vampire slayer poster in their room love to say shit like she turned me into a newt and they don't say it anymore and that's fucked up. holy grail is quirk chungus now? bro, it was quirk chungus then but i honestly, quirk chungus ain't that bad. in today's society, quirk chungus could be worse.
2:24 holy grail is pretty good. i like life of brian more, but holy grail is pretty good. when you originate the quirk, you own the chungus. that might be true. also people don't believe me and i understand why would you when you look at the state of modern culture. but like quirk chungus was not the norm in 2005. in the average high school class, if you had 30 kids, there was like four to five quirk chunguses. favorite movie, princess bride,
3:18 singing songs from the movie adaptation of rent and stuff at four to five quirk chunguses. that's it and then there were 25 just people that were just i don't want to call them npcs it became the norm later. yeah, it became the norm later which are you kind of stuck in this permanent like aspirational gen x post ironic daria type phenotype i suppose waffling back and forth between rage bait and
4:11 genuine opinions and then wondering why nobody believes me, i suppose. something like that. let's play nuke. let's play nuke! let's play mirage! let's play inferno! where we dropping lads? ct? ct sided inferno? okay. and now i cried during the royal tenenbaums. you ain't special. also people cry during the royal tenenbaums. the real question is when you cry, bro. do you cry when chance tenenbaum says, dad, it's been a hard year?
5:03 or do you cry when that motherfucker's arranging the blocks and he sucks ass at it? do you cry when aubrey whatever his name is says, uh, hey can you copy these blocks? hello sir. i put my nuts on your forehead like gene kelly in the broadway review. and then you look at it and you're like this motherfucker is horrible. this motherfucker is horrible at rearranging these blocks man. that's not even close. wasn't even in the ballpark man.
5:45 let's make this rain. guys, i'm literally throwing a grenade down banana. type of shit you make in tomodachi life. perfect grenade. and apparently i literally got sight of someone down there. okay, you're gonna say that i'm insane? one of these dudes had a scope. i don't know how, but one of these dudes literally had a scope on their gun. we run these streets. i'm going library. check pit. check pit. oh, i think i did 70 and 6.
7:10 what a shot! that was a fucking great round, man. can you go back and see the clip? i swear he had a scoped rifle on round one. apollo, is this possible? what does that mean? he had... he had a... i don't think he had an m4 or an ak, but i do think that he had a galil. yeah, i think they might have pooled their money and bought one galil. are you going to apata? okay, i play patio then. motherfucker.
8:08 get dropped, kid. the fuck? okay. i see a fella there? what the fuck? i guess i did. i guess i did. got him. got him. got him twice in the shoulder. that m7 shot, or mag7 shot was pretty good, right? yeah, fuck it.
9:30 why does that dude from rear window hate his girlfriend? i haven't seen the movie, but i'll say it. unk was kinda nosy, man. i i i triangulated the distance between them. i made a huge mistake. good fucking move! it's a pillar! it's a pillar. it can't move. got body blocked by the fucking pillar. body blocked with no body. stay sharp. starting to think that the fucking electrical box is looking at me funny. whoa! motherfucker! yeah, you too. fuck is this, man? it's rattling around. oops. oh, i'm fucking cracked now.
10:41 it's over for you, shit stain. get him! get him! my friend. okay, the least adhd random. bro literally was like, i'm gonna alt tab. that was a fucking round right there. yes, dude! we, we are... what's a button to say we are doing this? they dropped off for you. i don't need it. i'm covering banana. he will literally peek. i just... all i had to do was not move my crosshair. he was gonna peek.
12:04 oh, good trade, good trade. he got two for zero. that's a good trade. it was way closer than i expected. and yet we did nothing wrong because it all worked out man. thanks for the drop. all right. aura that was literally just aura. anyone here like groceries? i'm the type of beast to start saying some shit like gaucho or asia. damn. appa. let's pick them together.
13:32 okay fella, literally cheating. your head was behind your teammate's head, but whatever. we go this way. literally mugged. um, do you know the steely danes called visions of johanna stupid? okay, well um donald did say that bob dylan was one of the only artists in the 70s worth of dam, so there is that, but also why do i give a fuck if good artists have great taste? they already make great art, man. i don't need them to also have the same great taste in art as me. that doesn't make any dam that's an unrealistic expectation to have. scared him?
14:42 mocked. he literally has more bullets than me. you become a great artist first by having great taste? what's it like to believe that? that's crazy. you know brian wilson's favorite movie was norbit? that's an insane, that's an insane belief to have. good movie? it has a couple jokes. it's got a couple good jokes in it. i believe the montage of clips probably goes crazy. he tried to hit me with the apollo block. he tried to crawl like a viper through these suburban streets, bro.
15:41 wait, yellow, wait. anybody in the pit getting real sweaty right now. check this out. mogged. literally, i got scared and then i took a deep breath, got my cortisol under control. i literally got my cortisol under control instead of freaking out. do it, do it. no, no, no. it's the 6 7 prophecy. you have opinions on looks maxing? i don't think you need to go to all the effort to like smash bones in your face.
16:46 if you want to improve the quality of your physical appearance, like everybody knows the secret is getting literally six hours and 45 minutes of sleep a night. enough to be like biologically adequately rested but still have a little bit of like tiredness aura around you. really good try. honestly, really good try. we don't besmirch our teammate for that. minecraft time out of mind parody just dropped. i need to see that. i need to see that. i was holding a mystical sphere.
17:31 it's direct from the nether, sheep are rolling in the snow. oops. bro, you're like dr. wu in biscayne bay. i saw you. there's just one fella. obviously we take those. um, yeah, i forgot what i was saying at all. it's the steely dan brain rot guy. even better news, honestly. even better news.
18:40 but cleaning countrymen. come on with the body block. we're all playing right side. we're smoking our own right side man. what are we doing? what are we doing? i'm fucking scared, bro. you didn't have to go with them? yeah, but it's my spot. my spot. i don't know, man. i don't know. where the fuck would you look? fair enough. i should have planned it. i should have.
19:52 wait steve, you better be ready for grub. that might be it man. t side trying to report me for hacking when i shove the bomb up my ass and then run away. if you body block me one more time motherfucker there's gonna be problems. got him. he's faded at spawn. yellow's not gonna be pleased when they get shot in the back man but i gotta play pit. oh motherfucker. bomb down banana. why does it sound like north to alaska?
21:06 way down bomb. bomb down banana. go banana, they got the bomb. it is kind of one of the goated spots to read chat. way down bomb. okay, if it's down banana, you can catch me on the peel. flinched. he flinched. what the fuck? are you serious? that don't seem right. check pit bro. oops.
22:23 you don't want to be playing against me when i'm crawling like a viper through these suburban streets, man. why is he good now? opponent difference, to be honest. real. don't body block me, purple. i'm top fragging. pack one, pick one. i'm taking right side mid. one kill easy. got him? got him? challenge me again. wait, green's insane, man.
23:16 fuck it, i want my fucking kills. shit. i've defused it. you ever heard the modern lovers? yeah bro, yeah i've heard all the modern lovers tracks. i know about pablo picasso. does jonathan richman know that like lots of people were calling him an asshole? i think he just doesn't know man, he might, he's got to plead the fifth on that one. it's jonathan richman's second best work after the everybody
23:55 oh wait, that's... i was gonna... i got... everybody loves raymond confused with there's something about mary. never mind. two deeply influential comedic works about glenn gould. they're literally chilling in spawn. there's one. the fuck was that? that shit came from a drone strike, man! where did that shit come from? crazy rounds. amazon delivery drone.
24:56 was raymond a good show? i need a reality check because that shit hit hard as a kid for some reason. i think everybody loves raymond is alright. i think we're past the era of like being mad that sitcoms were once popular and now we can not glaze them too much but like respect them for
25:17 being, i don't know, at the height of their form. let's put it that way. don't say it was average. average sitcoms are some of the worst television programs ever made. go watch an episode of yes, dear and then tell me that everybody loves raymond is average, bro. nice try. barely even hit me. the fuck was that? holy shit.
25:58 my parents made me watch last man standing. if you're... if you were at an age where your parents could force you to watch a show that started in 2019, you are too young to be chatting. but you are subbed, which i appreciate. it started in 2011? no shot, bro. last man standing has 2016 energy. fuck it, i know my place. scoutler? what the fuck?
26:57 how are there four people left man? yes, get him. yeah, don't even pick up the rifle man. you don't need it. you already got one. you don't need it. oh that's awesome man badge point, huh? damn orange you better clutch up here. will you oh buy for me buddy? it's round three get your get your money up. oh
27:56 i was awarded $300 because somebody killed himself. misaligned incentives ass. this is everything wrong with our society. clutch. fuck that bro. no shot. i got the bomb. here, you take it. we win this.
28:39 it is great seeing the timbre and chat change and people are going, wait, maybe 5k is awesome. yeah, it's a lot of fun. the problem is now i'm thinking that was fun because it's 5k. no, it's not fun because it's 5k as fun because we won. now we come back down on the other side. we can still have, you can still get 13 and one at 5k. absolutely. the wind start coming and they don't stop coming. i will say i'm having, i'm having a dangerous independent thought.
29:17 and my dangerous independent thought is what if walking on the sun by smash mouth is actually in a vacuum a good song? like if it was by cake instead of smash mouth would we say actually the song, would we have the song on playlist i guess is what i'm trying to say. it might be my favorite bowling alley song.
29:55 he says, bonfire fucked up. we just toked out with guitars around the bonfire. he does sing british, which is crazy because most british people sing like american. toked out with guitars around the bonfire, just singing and clapping man. what the hell happened? and some were spellbound, some were hellbound, some they fell down and some got back up and fought against the meltdown. see, i think it might be fucking good, man.
30:26 and their kids were hippie chicks or hypocrites because fashion is passionate too. main in of it. it is kind of like bad b 52s but it still could be good. because the b 52s are good. mirage y'all. bro we had edwin mccain. i don't think i like edwin mccain man. trying to think, doesn't he sing, ain't it good to be alive?
31:17 i do kind of like the one, what is it like the, peace love hang ten california dreaming of the perfect way. that one might be okay and the music video is like a cursed tattoo that keeps haunting people. what's this garbage he's singing? it's edward mccain bro. why? i'm holding banana. he does sing, i'll be your crying shoulder.
32:00 does he say i'll be does he say i'll be mass suicide or am i totally i'll be a mass suiciiiiide. he says something like that, man. double check that before you write that on genius, but i think that is exu why? no, man, you can't be being all that. loves suicide. oh, that's pretty bad too, but like... i'd win. 100 damage to 5. rotate through spawn? yeah, i don't think i will. wha hahaha!
32:50 can we give some credit to the the t side on that one? ro left his heels on the ground took a deep breath braced his core and he saw his shot and he took it. damn the red barchetta snipe man.
33:20 sing along if you know the words. i'm so glad i found you. i don't want to lose you. whatever it takes, i'll spend it with you. looking right beside, i see the paradise. i don't know the words, but i'm hoping you do. and then it's your part. people say we're crazy. what do they know?
33:49 put your hand in my hand baby don't ever let go 5k incoming it is publix music but it's one of my favorite publix songs never been in a publix by the way got two? is he made to shoot one? publix i thought their sandwiches were pretty good you know what's pissing me off? that was a tactical ping holy shit kate's watching youtube on the couch see a video, thumbnail, best sandwich in vancouver
34:46 open the video, blue fucking street signs. that ain't vancouver, motherfucker. you're in north van, burnaby, surrey, or coquitlam. stop clickbaiting by putting the name of the city in the thumbnail, and then when i open the video, there's blue fucking street signs and no traffic. pissing me off, man. watch this shit. uh, katja flinchen. i take mid, by the way. average 48 year old reaction time. yeah, that's not gonna happen to me.
35:42 sorry that happened to you, ain't gonna happen to me. wait, he shot me? such a shooter's high, i didn't even know i got hit, man. i got nothing against the greater vancouver area. if anything, i find it insulting that they put vancouver in the title when there's nothing wrong with burnaby, coquitlam, or surrey. port coquitlam? i'm not totally sure. more research is required before i make a blanket statement like that about poco. you missed, bro.
36:21 but stop calling it vancouver when the sandwich spot is in surrey, okay? surrey can stand on its own. it has a bigger population. they might be coming embouchure. who the hell is that? who's this guy? what's his deal? they need me. got him. honestly, his mistake. i wouldn't have known he was there if he didn't shoot. good flash, good flash. clean, tight. keep sending progress pics. god is my witness, i thought they went back b.
37:38 saw you, motherfucker. sheesh! that's what i call a sack lunch, wedding crashers, bro. 6'7! give it back. give it back. i'm just playing with you. the fuck is this, cyrax? thanks for the assist, bro. got him. oh, that was a hell of a shot.
38:30 did you take a vyvanse? no. were people being serious when they said china puts vyvanse in the water? i need a source on that. but like what's to stop a government from putting vyvanse in the water and then their citizens are forced to lock in and like gradually out compete other countries over time in the global economy? it can make your dick stop working? well fucking put an equivalent amount of cialis or something in there. and while you're maybe, maybe some
39:10 propecia or something? i don't know. to me, you know how there's soylent, the beverage that's like, i don't know, 400 calories and if you drink five of them a day it's exactly 100% of your recommended daily allowance of everything? why don't they just do that but with trace amounts of medicine? why don't they just sell it like a diet coke but the diet coke has
39:38 5 ants and a little like an antidepressant, there's an anti anxiety but just a small enough dose, not enough of a dose that it would count as taking like a whole pill but like enough of a dose that it would do as much as a whole pill does. alright, basically fuck the guy at b i suppose. no, don't worry, i got you fella. maybe a horrible angle, i don't know. oh shit. i can't believe it worked. walk this way bro.
40:35 he's cat motherfucker. after everything we've been through. just give me a kiss. he does say that. you didn't have to do all that, man. this is like watching a car crash in slow mo. yeah, maybe the best car crash ever. honestly, watching a car crash in slow mo is probably good because it gives you time to yell like fucking hit the brakes or something or turn.
41:33 don't start to adjust your position, adjust your trajectory. literally perfect movement. enemy orange is using, they're using hacking shooting, hacking games. he's smurfing bro. car crashes give my brain the same feeling as an ice cold coke zero. to be honest with you, i do think that the reason car crash videos are popular is because it's like
42:17 it's like a driver's version of watching jeopardy. like you put on a video that's called like worst vancouver car crash compilation april 2026 and then you see someone do something and you go you can't do that you're gonna cause an accident and then like the car crashes because that's what the video is and then you go see i told you i told you you can't be doing all that now that's embarrassing man
42:58 things you hope happens to the guy who cut you off. only if they cut, if they just get in front of me, i don't really care. by the way, does this happen everywhere? that like, so you hear an ambulance, you look in your rear view mirror, and then there's an ambulance behind you. so you pull over and then everybody else pulls over. but then as soon as the ambulance goes by, all of the people that pulled over behind you speed up to try to pass you, like his f1.
43:27 it's so crazy, man. like they use it literally as like the safety car is gone. now it's time to like gain position. like what's wrong with my society, dog? i'm helping. he's there. got him. i live in the opposite a small town where people try to wave you through the four way stop. i mean, obviously that pisses you off too. that obviously is, it's not worse than someone trying to kill you in a car accident, but
44:17 also annoying. it's not worse because like it's just that's just annoying someone literally trying to pass you a millisecond after the ambulance is by is like you know, there's a chance that you actually get an accident that's just like someone not knowing the rules of the road which again annoying but not as not as deleterious
44:42 it's scary how many people get to a four way stop and then don't know the order at which they got to the four way stop. that is truly frightening because it's information that like literally they could have possessed as of one second ago. i don't think so kid. i think you'll find me falling back on that one. i'm camping organics? okay mouth. got a plant, got a plant.
46:01 a side rhythm. everybody plant! i had to do something. so fucked up that my teammate hit him for 84 so my headshot only did 16. i'm flushing 900 adhd pills down the toilet. bro, it might be the fucking move. that song's placement in singing in the rain baffles me to this day. i hate plot andys.
46:49 the plot for singin' in the rain is literally like a line and a half and people are like, it took away from the story. bro, fucking what story? the riveting tale of lena lamont's squeaky voice, motherfucker? you don't deserve gene kelly's nutsack. mocked. hey bro, i found out why i killed you. you had a galil. hope that helps. motherfucker. through spawn. make him plant, bro. oh, okay. fair enough. bated the util. one step.
48:16 he was watching the angle. he was watching that one. fair enough, fair enough. fed to the rule and i hit the ground running. i gotta say, i don't think all stars is a great song. i think it's, i mean in summer 2000, i thought it was a great song for sure. but i do think walking on the sun has a little something. it's not that i think it's bad, it's just that i don't get the sequence. there's nothing to get. what you need to get is that it's beautiful. it's an extremely talented,
49:15 charismatic and well choreographed dance number in the middle of a musical. especially he's all hopped up because he just got one. whoa, he had someone, he had someone watching his back. that's illegal. usually people go in during the rain. can i, oh, you fucking saw his head, bro. can i also tell you that for my whole life, i thought singing in the rain was a movie about a guy who was like depressed and then decides to be happy. it is not about that at all. if you thought that's what it was about because of
50:03 like the song singing in the rain. there's like a little bit of a genuine plot going on in that movie. it's not that. why? because i didn't know shit about it. i thought maybe gene kelly was like, i'm depressed but now i'm in love so i'm not depressed. that's not what it's about at all. what is it about? the birth of audio in the medium of film. so it's a tech demo? no, you're thinking of the jazz singer with al jolson. this makes reference to the jazz singer. i see one down there.
50:47 did my brain clock that i'm standing on business? let me add him purple. i gotta do something, the rest of my team let me down. does he like butter tarts? now that's a fucking summer anthem, man. that one i still... i still rock every summer. i've been listening to steal my sunshine. dude, he has a crazy voice, man. i was lying on the grass a sunday morning of last week.
51:48 his voice is nuts. you see me plant my feet on that shit? you see me put my nuts on his forehead? i've heard this song a thousand times, i have no idea what they're talking about.
52:32 three hour layover at yvr, any advice? what terminal? do not do the reddit thing. leave the airport, take an hour long sky train into the city just to eat at a recommended restaurant, then take an hour long sky train back. that's crazy. just three hours, have a long lunch and go for a walk. that's about it, man. what's the last book you read? cal zero. piece of shit, don't read it. two stars. honestly, should be one and a half. oh, aura assist on that one from me. they never expect the aggressive mercado.
53:28 lock in. just 30 seconds, lock in. just one fella. he's going for exit frags, careful. oh my god, we killed him. see, that's the guy. i'm still trying to figure out, like, that's the guy, man. like, is it a bit or is it a...
54:16 cause i like i sort of don't understand the character. don't point at me. i'm pointing at the one who says why don't you co stream? it's literally free money, but i'm not sure if they're a real person. i'm smoking jungle? motherfucker man! motherfucker! no no, i'm body blocking you. i'm body blocking you so you die. who's got bomb? why? he bumped into me when i threw my smoke and made me look like a fool! what a shot, bro. gravity assist. yeah, i'll take.
55:42 when the i am a real person message gets auto modded. you got an op out there, man. let's do this orange. shock and awe, baby. shock and awe. the fuck? sexy ass op tracer. did you see that? let me get on your head. boost me. boost me to veranda. got him. he's literally scared. peek him. i got you brother. here we go. the cat peek. obviously you go a on this beast. take a chance and break away, bro. kelly clarkson.
56:57 you missed. broadway rhythm. well, you're not coming down, cat. that's where we got the damn artillery. who's next? everybody dance. play his theme. get ready. it's a song about a superhero named tony. it's called tony's theme. ooh, don't blow up and kill me and take my op. ooh, rare rebuy armor type situation. this is a good game, man. it's a good game.
58:04 the op made this game so much better. i'm glad they added it. i see him cat go, not up. no, no, i had him too. i wanted a librarian. can you clip that? i literally thought i hit him. hit the railing. let me see an analysis of that. i want you to, i'm literally doing your job for you. i want you to zoom in on where the impact of the bullet is and enhance it and then cover it with a red circle like this.
58:50 i wanna see it, i wanna see how close it was cuz i honestly i think it was off by this much. and then literally put like a little ruler on the screen and then take that ruler and move it to where the bullet was. it would be over here but move it over there. gg, sniper kills nine. you did 24 minutes. okay, wait, we can do one more. no, we can't. let me see what's my wife up to because we're supposed to play.
59:30 re animal in 24 minutes. 24 minutes is an awkward amount of time. i mean, 24 minutes of dolls is awkward too. but 24 minutes of cs is impossible. i'll go to the bathroom and then we'll figure it out. be back in a second.