Stick to the DLEs unc (Counter-Strike 2)

Name: Stick to the DLEs unc (Counter-Strike 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-03
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Stick to the DLEs unc (Counter-Strike 2)" (Counter-Strike 2) — 37 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-03Counter-Strike 2

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37 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 alright, alright, alright. yeah, how smart goated? can i say something? i think that they make good games, but i don't like them. i played returnal for like 90 minutes and i was like, this seems like one of the best games that i do not like. i have an issue with three dimensional roguelikes to be honest. two dimensional roguelikes like enter the gungeon, my brain can process the shooting and the dodging very easily. three dimensional, i'm just like, what am i doing here, man? what am i doing here?
0:51 what about risk of rain 2? would somebody like to illuminate for the new heads in chat my thoughts on risk of rain 2? he loves it, he loves it, you love it, he loves it, he loves it. change username, that's true. i gotta think of one though. based on the movies i've been watching, i mean dude, fred from brief encounter would be a crazy name. i think of who else, could be, it could always be ryan from 9 to 2, a little cleo from 5 to 7 reference. fred fucks would be funny.
1:47 too funny for me, i'm afraid. libertarian canadian tire. libertarian canadian tire. you gotta think about that. vip daniel. tim hortons has been pissing me off for a long time, but they're really starting to piss me off with their new model of just constantly doing a collaboration at all times and every single collaboration is with ryan reynolds. even mcdonald's, it takes a lot for me to say this, even mcdonald's is pissing me off.
2:22 because it's like it used to be, hey there's a bts meal and then there's no collab and then a few months later it's the grimace shake. now it's just i go to mcdonald's they got 18 different collabs going at the same time man. i would like to play nuke again. nah, i'd like to play inferno. too late y'all. you may not know but what's the vancouver meta for hotels that are under 400 bucks? i have some horrible news.
2:56 guy who's from vancouver. i read an article that vancouver has the same number of hotel rooms in 2026 that it did in 2002. basically, hotel rooms are insNLy expensive here and if you find one that is like, i don't know, like 200 bucks or less, be very suspicious because like there's some busted hotels in vancouver. oh wait, this is scientology any%. i had a friend come to vancouver
3:31 don't attack me, please. don't attack me. i'm trying to find the tom cruise suite. that's literally as good as it gets. that's as good as it gets right there. that's 100%. he stayed in a chain hotel that was on granville street. i went to his room and i was like with the whole hotel, it smelled so bad the second i walked into the lobby of the hotel that i instantly got a headache. like it was just crazy. like it was so moldy and mildewy.
4:05 like, through they permeated the entire building. ready for this? it just works. got mine, got mine, got mine. oh no, no, you're good. you're in comps, probably. you're probably in comps. i moaned when i drank the water there. honestly, that's real. sometimes it hits. he stood still. he planted his feet and clicked the head, man. why is water so goated? it isn't even that good. what a shot. oh, why the knife?
5:18 wrong? it's fine. like it's, it's, it's not bad. like i wouldn't go that crazy. but it's like it's not, it's certainly not the best tasting beverage. that's insane. not that good until 10.32 pm on a tuesday evening after you've been on the couch for three hours? sorry, chiblee. i wouldn't know what that's like. i have a child. how do you feel about that? kind of just won the argument by, uh, by reproducing, huh? oh, obviously i won't be walking out into that. i'm, i'm above, uh, i'm above 5,000 now.
6:08 above 5,000 elo we don't walk out into the spray. mocked. 11 bullets left. i literally headshot him. how is he alive bro? he's got one hell of a headache. even a man who shares a world of differences may find common ground among the planes. oh shit. you're kind of talking like lib schreiber in the day trippers, chiblee. swagged up on him a little bit. did you just call me a lib? no, if anything he's like a monarchist. op no armor greater than sign.
7:17 yeah, sure, no problem, bro. now i'll be late to mid and get killed and my teammates are gonna call me a slur in all chat. bro! stop getting gout with the scouts and save a spot for the op! wait for it. wait for it. i have the bomb. holy shit, we fucking won! oh! what do you mean, we? did you see my fucking shot, man? did you see did you see my shot? when you get to the spot with no gun out. so they don't even they don't even do shit mid.
8:49 he reloads and i kill him? what? okay, well obviously we don't go that way. we wait for them to cross and we kill them. thus letting our bomb get deeper and deeper into a. i have 100% belief this plan is going to work. they're gonna be like, he moved. but maybe they moved. bomb's down. it's our time to peek. i just go back to spawn, y'all. wait, green popped off? the moment you drop the angle? it's always in the last place you look, bro.
10:05 i'm getting pretty good. i'm getting pretty good. i'm getting pretty good at the game. i'm getting pretty good at the game. they can hear the scope? i can hear you losing. stop body blocking me, bro. i'm gonna freak out. they need a good guy with the op to stop a bad guy with the op. nah, his face killing me. why did nobody give a fuck? wait, they killed our purple, man. double peek. whoops. flushed him out and then we get one of these. got him? what's the fella? smoke! i'm planting the
11:43 i don't know where to look, man. play bomb. it's that simple. play bomb. dude, getting an early op, kind of like getting brimstone on the basement too. bad plant. bad plant spot, honestly. kind of a bad planting spot. why would you plant there? you need to plant for window, bro. that's whatever. they'll figure it out. their elo is pretty low. they'll figure it out in time. why didn't you scope? i'm a listerine guy. oops.
12:47 redemption? yeah, let's peek bro. wait, wait, wait. maybe corey's right. maybe the awp is unfair. you literally just shoot them and they die. i play pit. there's only one. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. sheesh. and we planted. and we planted. salt and vinegar or barbecue chips.
14:08 miss vicky's were going salt and vinegar any day of the week, but the vinegar better be malted, bro. lay's? nah, i'm a barbecue stand personally. all right, that was awesome. at first, i love how everybody got the awp. they saw that round and they went, wait a second. give me that. there's a gun that kills in one shot in this game? yeah, bro. yeah, it kills in one shot. it's called the awp. it costs $30 million. wait, we might be unstoppable.
15:03 w spray control. what the, why would you kill him? damn, we really do have three ops. bro, move. move, bro! my germs. motherfucker, man. take the op! it's op! pushed with bomb. my team was right behind me. speaking of which. that's a smokescreen. now we don't go banana. does anyone know where to go on this map that's not banana?
16:48 i just go banana. guys, could i get the spawn that's closest to the door so that i can get mid and get 4k with my awp again? nine times out of ten that gets a kill. the fuck? i got you orange. making noise at banana. counter strafing mid. nothing. molly ing patio. squeaks jumping apartments. my team didn't tell me i'm last man standing. alright, lock in. lock in.
18:05 aw, damn. justin, did you see i got a four kill implant? i got a 4k implant. and then i've just been buying the op every single round ever since, but it's literally not my fault because somebody on my fucking team is two and seven. yeah, got him. confidence. now i lock in. purple, watch out. steps mid. i'm practicing comms. bro, we got no one banana. who's watching the flank? must have been the wind type shit. u turn, i get this guy. signs.
19:40 fucking signs type shot just saw the corner of his leg disappear behind a fucking stalk of corn you said shot instead of shit cuz it was a fucking shot bro like from m night shyamalan signs. it was a shot from signs don't say vamanos children. there's millennials here, bro. okay, i'm going rat hole or i lost sorry loud walking because i wanted to check the scoreboard i'm looking left out of mid
20:54 let's do this, green. three, two, one. he's there. oh, i thought he had him. dude, what happened? they clutched up. we were up like 5 1. you stopped buying awp? i'm penny smart and dollar dumb, bro. i'm broke. you guys see that? can't even afford the fucking awp, man. scout is kind of like an awp. deagle is like an awp. that's true. dude, worst case scenario, 7 5 ain't that bad. it's kind of a loser way to start thinking about the game, but...
22:15 love that, love that. okay, i've been killed. i jumped without bending my knees. that was clean, okay, who was that? that was yellow? chad, did he win that new game? not only did we win it, we won it easily. i'm not even trolling. come on, pull the knife out kid. mr. mia said easily. i literally got two mvps. it's not toxic. i was trying to bait the opposition into giving up peekers advantage. thus giving my teammate a boost.
23:45 are we rushing in or are we going sneaky peaky like? okay, who? i think noobs love to play banana. so i'm not gonna play banana. i'm gonna play pit. yellow, i gotta be so fucking for real with you. you really wanna get promoted? let's go, let's go! i knew it. throwing smoke. pernae boot. oh, fuck. oh, fuck. they're everywhere, man. john wick. got him. got mine.
24:49 now we can lower the heart rate, slow the exhales, we clutch up. oh, if i could click my finger wasn't strong enough to click faster or he'd be dead! swag seven, no armor apartments. strong alphabet earnings report. that's huge. honestly,
25:34 i mean, it's been a good month on youtube because you slay the spire too. so that's probably a big part of it. i'd have to say honestly, i don't want to get accused of insider trading but the slay the spire 2 videos have been doing pretty well. it's probably a big part of it. i don't think they went this way, man. why am i playing this like it's halo? translate sts2 to chinese, you'll go platinum. i'm literally just gonna learn mandarin. let's take classes together. no, i'm taking classes with my wife. you should take classes with your wife.
26:41 he's on some john wick shit, man. fuck that, he's on some john marston shit, bro. nice try, nice try, king. in my head i was like, we got time for one more. no, the fuck we don't, bro. look at the time. it's 1.38. we don't got time for one more. i was gonna say we do have time tomorrow, but we got some.
27:22 the hell are we doing tomorrow? some kind of multiplayer stuff that kate set up. it's not the bird watching game. it might be a game. it might be a one versus three asymmetric multiplayer game. headshot? i thought that was the one. see if you ever do this, you ever lean back and massage your eyebrows, it kind of feels good as fuck. it's kind of a very neurotypical thing to do. especially if when you do this,
28:08 a little bit of like, you had like some dried skin or something in there and it kind of like pops out and you get like a sense of relief from it. it's kind of awesome. i actually do do that, lamau. it feels so fucking good. especially, i mean, i don't have hair, man. i don't have hair. i think this is as good as it gets for me. that was a, that was actually a great try. i mean, he's doing what he can, man. he's doing what he can.
28:54 oh shit. he had to do something. he had a lot to work with. oh man. i think i should just stay in the pit, man. how we doing here? we fell off bigly, man. i mean, as long as yellow's still holding it down at the bottom, we don't really care, but... okay, i guess i'll play patio then. veranda. i've lost all confidence. we need to lean forward and clutch up. start sitting like a guy who's good at counter strike. hunch the neck. bombs banana. we rotate through spawn. just in style.
30:15 w, that's an improvement already. it's already paying dividends, man. you inspired me to reinstall counter strike then i realized i'm on the same skill level as you? it literally doesn't matter. i don't know, at some point... have you ever seen like your mom play video games? she'll just play like purple place, man. you know why she's playing purple place? just needs a little break from the day to day fucking drudgery, man. and it's... it's got a certain appeal to it. well, there's no way i'm getting to pit, man.
31:18 nice try for me. i'm gonna give myself a nice try on that one. what i'm trying to say is it's okay to have fun, man. librarian, thank you for saying lmao to that comment. i was laughing my ass off. i wasn't gonna get baited into replying, but for a first time chat message, nah, man. they're calling my mom rich because she played purple place. i mean, she was like doing pretty well. it's not because of purple place. like... oh shit. assist!
31:55 who did that? they had a kid? okay. fidget toy down. how did you know it was my kirkland signature sparkling style water? good, good. i lost all sound. that should be helpful while i op here. bro, are you in a... you're not even in apartments? well, that's horrible news for me. what are you doing, man?
33:00 i'm scared. maybe i'll be better without sound though. so far so good. he's planting bro. save round. just imagine that bitch kind of beeping at me right now if i had to guess. yeah, okay. give me a second here. i mean, i feel like i kind of did. i did all right considering the circumstances if i may say so. but i would like to buy an op. oh, it can't be done man. we don't buy for next. we got to stop them from getting the 12.
34:15 wait, yellow kind of clutched up too. yellow's in the damn walls already. yep, nice try. i didn't think he would have the stones to push me, but then there's nothing that we've done in this game that would inspire him to have a lack of confidence in himself. so my assist, thank you. big news though, yellow's dead, so they can't pass us in damage. great shooting, man. plus i got an assist. that's bad. that's pretty bad. yo, you buy for me? yellow, buy? purple? purple, you buy for me?
35:35 you're so brave for solo queueing? bro, you know who's brave? our nation's firefighters. i'm just the guy playing a video game, man. the others no other streamer would tell you this. you know who's brave? that guy in chat earlier who said, i know it's a little weird but i like girls with short hair. that guy's brave for saying that shit. i'm scared. maybe i am brave because i'm a little scared oh! motherfucker!
36:33 whatever, got mine. are you kidding me, yellow? you cemented your place in the basement, man. caught looking at chat. it really isn't fair that the other people playing this game don't have like a distraction on the other monitor at all times. i mean, inevitably some of them are probably watching my stream, which is the only reason they're able to beat me, but...
37:12 they have netflix up? nah, man. tell me why i'm watching les bonheurs and then my friend from college is like, have you seen the jake gyllenhaal remake of roadhouse? like what are we doing here, man? nooooooo! the quad killer! gg. it wasn't that bad, all things considered. i once had a friend that said the white remake of oldboy is better than the korean one. it's kind of i don't know if this was engineer in a lab to be the funniest comment of all time.
38:01 calling the american old boy the white remake is really funny. that's a really, really funny sentence.