I may actually be reborn (Counter-Strike 2)

Name: I may actually be reborn (Counter-Strike 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-05
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "I may actually be reborn (Counter-Strike 2)" (Counter-Strike 2) — 115 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-05Counter-Strike 2

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115 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 the guy who owns the only, the town's only diamond mine. oh yeah, that's the one. must be bellingham. must be bellingham, bro. one diamond mine, no escalators. i didn't say its name. but yeah, you know what it is. wake up, wake up, get up. it's the first of the month. get up, get up. my friends were having a wonderful day.
0:30 and i won't fight with my chat cause it's the first of the month. what if we did first of the month but we were all the bones? what if we were crazy bone and who are the other bones? there's crazy bone for sure. busy bone, past lives was a 2.5 star. what is it like to have no interiority? i won't fight with my chat cause it's the first of the month. and i'll be streaming and dreaming about
1:05 90s movies again, watch clock watchers on the bike, thought it was a two star movie even though it had parker posey. it is the 90s after all. past lives was mid. no, you got to confuse with materialist nephew. materialist was mid, maybe even kind of bad. past lives is seminal. i'm not watching shit movies to fix my distribution. it's the may 1st is a crazy day on criterion. the first of the month is great. you get to listen to bone tugs and
1:43 it's the criterion channel refreshes, which means you get to choose from an entire new crop of movies. so i chose clock watchers as pac wan pic wan. i just found myself a little bit disappointed, but that's why i'm glad people like it. i'm not saying it's like an evil movie or whatever. i just thought it was kind of boring.
2:12 you got an affiliate link or what? no, that's what's based about criterion channel is that they keep the prices low so they can't afford to be paying out with like affiliate links or marketing and stuff like that. it markets itself by having every wong kar wai film on it. although i saw at the end of may, leaving may 31st, every film directed by wong kar wai, that means within the next four weeks, i have to fucking put up or shut up, bro.
2:36 so i saw in the mood for love, but i gotta fucking figure out if i'm a wong kar wai type of fella. i gotta watch chungking express, i gotta watch 2046, maybe i gotta watch fallen angels, i don't know. that's a wong kar wai movie once a week, could be the play. gotta think about it. watch infernal affairs. yeah, nice try. i already saw it when it was called the departed. guys, i'm only gonna ban two maps. i like all these other maps.
3:14 vibes in the comment section on the first of the month are immaculate. oh yeah, do you mean in the in the youtube video for first of the month? like the actual music video by bone thugs and harmony? i bet the vibes are awesome in there. i can't even because it isn't that's got to be one of the only songs on youtube where people go there and they're like i'm here on this song because it's the first of the month and i'm happy.
3:41 who up listening to this on may 1st, 2026? i mean the vibes on the music video for the crossroads have got to be a little lower, but that's just because it's melancholy doesn't mean it's worse. but the vibes on first of the month like it and it's fucking sunny today. one second we're doing scientology any percent. why am i the last person to load in? i literally have 2026 ram. this seems impossible. what are you guys on fucking supercomputers or something? that was like a two percent.
4:17 i thought i lost sound already. alright fellas, what's the play? guys, by the way, i have um... i think i have horrible bursitis in my right arm. has anyone ever gotten bursitis just from playing counter strike badly? i think i literally need to get like an elbow brace or something like that. or maybe start using a trackball? like i have tennis elbow in my right arm, but i'm a lefty. you know how sad that is? plant your feet. what the stop throwing things in front of me, green! yeah, yeah, plant. eat what you can.
5:10 what the fuck? i shot him in the in the throat, bro. he should be popped! he should be he went he's taking dort. that should that should say damage over time. he's taking dort. oh shit. 92 oh, got mine, got mine. i don't even care. probably top fragger right now. hey, how about this? um, anyone here a guided by voices fan? exit fragger! i wanted to well, i don't want to say i wanted to kill you today. it's kind of it's off of, um...
5:57 wait, what are we rolling here guys? it's off of propeller. so a lot of you might not know it to be honest with you. plus one, unfortunately i can live with the plus one for a propeller reference. there are many of us who only know teenage fbi. crazy thing to say album version of teenage fbi. so much worse than the, get them so much worse than the version on youtube. that's from that like tv show, russia, the one where a british guy starts by saying that the greatest band in the world
6:40 but that's literally tobin sprout difference. you know what i'm talking about? someone tell me why i do the things that i don't wanna do. when you're around me, i'm somebody else. literally, i got mine. someone tell me why i act like a fool when things don't go my way. are you gonna plant or are we just gonna sit here like pretending we're ct side?
7:19 call outs please, comms. faded and i took his gun. ooh, there is the reason i guess. give me some armor and that m4. boom baby. holy cow, orange has 647 damage. wake up, wake up. i think it's an instant vibes reset. like you don't get that. i mean the first of the month is like 3% of the days annually.
8:06 you on the 3% of those days, you get a free vibes reset just by listening the first of the month. literally destroyed. literally, i'm the best player of this game. holy shit. caffeine's a drug, y'all. huge. i saw one. guys, i'm actually insane. how'd you do the math on the 3%? whenever i have a shit day, i'm like, whatever, we still got 97% of the month left to make it up.
9:01 we should be watching spawn just in case. if we die, we die. we were gonna die to bomb regardless. guys, i got a four kill. i got a four kill. guys, guys, guys, i got a four kill. guys, i got a four kill on a win. with blues m4a1. i guess that's why they call it the fucking blues, man. where are we going? not sure how i feel about orange with the fuck ass andy serkis haircut. did you know the andy serkis animal farm came out, man?
9:51 i saw him bottom. okay, he literally, he's cheating. wait, it comes out this weekend? i saw on letterboxd today, i saw someone reviewed it. it came out in 2025 apparently. maybe it played the festival circuit. also, it has the lowest score i think i've ever seen as a consensus on letterboxd. it has like almost exclusively one and one and a half star reviews. togglers. might be the worst movie idea of all time. i didn't know it was like, it's a kid's version of animal farm?
10:33 where like apparently like napoleon farts and shit like that? like it's not an animated adaptation of animal farm. like it's literally like four children. it has a happy ending. well, i guess i just don't understand like why the fuck you would ever do that. i suppose. i suppose at the end of the day i just sort of don't know what purpose this movie serves. fuck it, we smoke jungle again.
11:19 they won't be rotating yet. don't cry. i'm making the leap. i'll die here. i'll die here. see if i give a fuck, bro. i'd be happy to die here. oh shit. you gotta make a move, bro. faded. he knew. how did he know? how did he know? he didn't know. he didn't know what he was getting in for. that's one thing for sure. he didn't know what he was in for. oh!
12:00 my teammates were having a wonderful day and i won't fight with my team cuz it's the first of the month and i'll be dropping bomb and buying you til throwing flashbangs over mollies again. heart rate check. 87 holy fuck. it's not supposed to go up. i see why he wants to play with this elo. apollo, i mean, i mean look at this man. i mean it's it's a good time.
12:33 we got people actually using decoy grenades like i must be cracked this dude's screwed man you're done but my bad i was talking about my teammate i'm smoking mercado my bad y'all um i don't really know what i was doing to be honest with you i didn't i don't really know what i was doing there i got scared huge huge pick play the bomb mercado de luigi good spot bro i was getting a little tilted
13:18 someone on my discord said they're walking around grand view woodland trying to figure out what place to fucking eat at bro. it's commercial drive it's maybe the best food street in the city. some people might say maine and maine's got some good stuff. don't get me wrong. oh my god, we won never mind. but come on go away. yeah go anywhere man. go anywhere lunch lady salil amal
13:46 el grotto del formaggio, they got a ton of awesome coffee shops. go to the pappino spaghetti hole. frazier's got some good stuff too. i just don't spend that much time in seattle. for two lads. yeah, yeah, i agree. pappino's what? pappino's spaghetti hole? rip to everybody in jungle right now. thanks for body blocking me, bro. yeah, yeah, they didn't kill the guy on the flank, bro! we're in hell! jesus christ! that's bad. never mind, it's fine.
14:54 oh my god, there's more. help me! help me! two on the flank. now that's disrespectful, man. good try, good try. i'm gonna hit them with the all chat, nice try. so that they know we haven't lost any team morale. come on, man. come on. come on. let's give orange some support here. i should start typing some chiblee shit in chat. start typing, hey y'all, bone thugs or far side?
15:51 on the first of the month, it's an easy ass question. i ain't gonna lie to you. hey guys, bone thugs? bone thugs or far side? compliment their cocks. apollo, are you still here or did you go live? you'd be so fucking for real with me right now. i'll play the lurk. i don't give a fuck. oh, i thought i had him to be honest. umm... 26 in 1, almost had him. one thing i was gonna say, i was thinking about it. this is a question for the ladies out there. and i know you're going, uh oh. uh oh.
16:35 do ladies know that, okay, so people can have good hair days. that's a given. did you know that those of us with penises also have good cock days and bad cock days? i'm not going to lie to you. and this is not trying to be perverted. i'm literally just trying to be informational. there are days where you wake up and you look down and you go like, whose cock is that? and sometimes that's a good thing. and sometimes that's a bad thing. sometimes you're like, i'm kind of
17:05 i got like a fleshier sort of hang than usual and then some days you're like who stole my cock? i know right this is real it's honestly some of the realest shit ever said. can i say that's literally my teammate's fault and he deserves to have died for that? i'll tell you what i'll try not to injure my teammates when they stop running in front of me when i'm like crouched and scoped in. like what is he thinking? you got a warning? i mean they should warn him for moving like an idiot.
17:55 let's just be honest. who did we kill there? who did we kill in that last round? sorry brother, my bad. who was it? by the way, who did we kill? was it green? you killed perp? okay, nothing of value was lost. you have left the buy zone. this is the message that pops up on your hud when you leave panera. i don't know, i just thought it'd be funny. doesn't really make any sense as far as i know. i'm a genius. i'm a fucking god. do i have the bomb? i do not.
18:56 don't sweat it y'all, i smoke jungle. i actually might be insane. have i really just maybe i haven't been bad at counter strike, maybe i've just been under caffeinated. maybe i'm living another round right now. play bomb. and like, we start mankind has our setpoint for caffeine like 100 milligrams too low by default. okay, unk is saving like mp7 or something like that. don't feed, just don't feed.
19:38 don't feed, play bomb. spray control. wait, wait, wait. what's this vice article? counter strike esports pros, we were all on adderall. i was talking about it with my discord because i was saying there's no way anybody on earth is neurotypical. the way that people talk about, the way that people who have adhd talk makes me think that nobody on earth could be neurotypical because they're always like
20:23 and i'm not making just wait till you hear the conclusion of the bit before you get mad. i'm not saying adhd isn't real. but they're... huge. they're often saying something that's like, um... oh, i get like an email that i don't want to reply to, and i don't reply to it right away. it's so hard to be like non neurotypical. and i was like, this is stupid. there's nobody like that on earth that gets an important email and replies right away. and then one person in my discord ruined my life!
20:56 because they said, actually i got a prescription for vyvanse and that's literally what it was like. they said they just started locking in. sorry y'all. bro, i literally splattered him. i don't know what you want me to say. obviously that's not gonna do it. oh! in the back? where's my team? anyway, so apparently like... okay, that was awesome. that was well worth our whole team dying so you could get one kill.
21:44 so yeah, apparently like you just sort of like maybe it's like a wonder drug which actually i think i said it in the discord but we need to start adding the shit to the water supply, man. we need to just start putting like a small dose. if viovance actually works like that, they need to put like trace elements of it in the water supply and then you could catch me glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. i'm about to become a data driven streamer.
22:17 i'm processing my metadata and analytics to come up with data driven insights. i saw him. i did not opt my cat. i have never opt my cat. jane dawson if he plays cs2. yeah, brother. yeah. he didn't see me. imagine it'd be a hell of a clip. ooh! ooh! tough luck, kiddo! damn, this game's kinda awesome. kory, are you still here? this game's kind of incredible, man.
23:20 give me some armor. let's go ape shit. it's kind of crazy when you're not at a 30% win rate you got adhd be honest. no, i don't think so i think that i'm not saying a vyvanse prescription wouldn't do me a little bit of good at a minimum but i i don't think i have i don't think i have disordered adhd tendencies guys. there's there's fellas be i gotta be honest with you it ain't one fella fuck it. i'll push through the smoke. i'm out. oh
24:15 got mine. literally got mine. what do you want me to say? be so fucking for real with me. can they see my mag 7 if i hang out on the apartment exit? no? it's over for them, man. because you know they're rushing the same spot. also, is anyone here 60 years old and has walked on their toes their whole life? i'm starting to wonder if i'm not going to suffer some kind of like degenerative foot injury as a result. buddy, buddy! i had it covered, bro!
25:00 i literally had it covered. shin splints? i have had shin splints pretty badly when i was a runner, but like, i fixed it. and then this is where i bait you because you go, how did you fix it? it bothers me a lot. and then i go, i started biking. not my finest moment, but somebody's got to do something on this fucked up team. i had to get physical therapy. i see, i foresee it in your future. how old are you? because maybe i already passed the danger zone.
25:49 you get a callous on your feet in a weird spot? yeah, the pad of my foot is a lot like... have you ever seen mr. deeds where john turturro has like the dead foot? like to be honest with you, if someone smashed the pad of my foot with like a baseball bat, i'm not 100% sure i would even feel it. bro, can you cover kat instead of just buying negev every round? no, wait, you're literally top fragging. you do you, buddy. i'm gonna push up through your smoke. he was in the kitchen.
26:32 he was in the kitchen, y'all. check your corners? bro, my i was i was coughing. damn, orange is crazy. i don't know if orange is filming like a compilation right now where they just use negev for a round, but... holy shit. bro's kind of mogging. nah, i'm not gonna take off. i ain't the one. was that 108 yesterday, bro? i'll cover kat. i got kat covered.
27:40 opal, how did he see me? how did he see me? no, you don't. i was looking at the mini map. i was like, where did they go? you've never had cat covered? why do you sound like google translate shane dawson's? is prezzo here? i think prezzo would like that one. guys, i know what you're doing, orange, but i really need to cover apartments with a mag 7. it's kind of all i got.
28:41 chad be so for real with me, where do i cover here? with the nova, where do i cover? if they come up through window, a ramp. what the fuck? how did he know? yeah guys, we don't have anybody. you need an entry fragger? yeah, you do this, i'll make noise. i literally, i thought i had him. i thought if i just planted my feet, i would have him. no man. good try. guys, we gotta buy.
29:51 we got a buy to stay in this. damn, look at this piece. it's so swag, it almost looks like the default. okay, we just got yellow on b. i think that's pretty good. three smokes in the same spot. yeah, yeah, yeah. this is peak. oh! got one. fuck, bro took like pay to win smoke or something. literally thought that was my teammate for a second and a half. i hear them in jungle, bro. i told you i fucking heard them in jungle too. that was a pretty fucking good try if i do say so myself.
31:07 that was pretty fucking awesome. we rush him. you shot him a third time thinking he was friendly? well, literally unless it's orange or green, i don't really care. get sat, kid. yeah, go ahead. okay, they knew i was there. that's good comms. w comms. w comms on the t side there. alright, yellow. you got this. damn! wait, maybe he's onto something. he's shooting through the damn ceramics, man. that's not a bad game, honestly.
32:18 the clutch king, four clutch kills, second highest adr? i can live with that man. can you please stop talking about nerds rope? you sound like a runner. i've had nerds rope. i think it, i'm not saying it tastes bad. it's literally just sugar. so i have like, how could it taste bad? i think it might be one of the most over glazed candies of all time. it's like edible chewing gum with rocks on it. okay. it's fine, but like it's, it doesn't deserve the kind of evangelism that it's getting.
33:06 you're a dad so shed some light on this. i saw you asking this yesterday. i have to tell you i'm pretty sure this is just a your dad thing. why do dads love opening up the electrical closet and flipping random breakers on and off without warning their family? is it fun? i'm gonna tell you that's your dad. i don't do that and my dad also never did that. i think that's literally just a you i think you're learning something unique and idiosyncratic about your own father. my dad would at least tell people.
33:53 i mean, i'll flick the electrical closet a little bit, but only when the breakers flipped, man. or if we need to diagnose a technical issue, i'll be in there flipping some breakers, but... my dad got divorced and immediately set up motion activated lights in his house so he'd never have to flick a light switch? it sounds like your dad got on vyvanse, man. kind of based. nah, that shit would piss me off though, because it sounds like it's awesome,
34:42 but then a i don't need a light to come on in a hallway just because i'm moving through it. you can keep that light off and be if i'm like girl rotting on the couch, just watching like clock watchers or some shit like that. i don't want the lights to turn off and then all of a sudden i have to go like this to remind my room that i'm still here. no man, i don't want that. i'll stick with the switches. quite frankly, the queue should not take this long, man.
35:28 clock watchers is great. your parker posey posting. i'm actually parker posey posing because i gave it a two out of five. but i'll defend to the death there right to make the movie but i just
35:39 about 45 minutes into the movie, i said, who cares? who cares about any of this? because i surely don't. who cares about this low stakes office drama? is it real? is it a reflection of real life? a hundred percent, it's like a reflection of real life. and it speaks to the transient nature of friendship in an office environment. but i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i just don't care. i don't care who's stealing the damn, the pencil cups and the staplers.
36:07 parker posey's our little indie gem. are you is this trump? parker posey, we love her, we love her. they're saying parker parker posey, they're saying she has your friend's older sister energy. they're saying when you're in the ninth grade, she had your friend's older sister back from her first semester of college. and we mean it as a compliment, we do. i'm an only child. that might be the problem, might be the solution, might be the problem.
36:41 older sisters are cool as fuck. i never had one and also, uh, you know, it seems like if you're the younger sister, maybe it kind of sucked. but if you're friends with someone who has an older sister, the older sister's always like a gem to have in the social circle. your friend's older sister is always cool. full stop. mirage, y'all. why is there a 13k on the other team?
37:29 let's roll. ran out of low skill players? bro, 6% of the counter strike audience is at my level or below. to me, that means there should be at least 50 people that we can match up against. okay, that was literally like, that's probably a 72%, any percent right there. we almost made it to the tom cruise suite. didn't you have a knife before? nah, you're watching another streamer play counter strike, i'm sorry to say.
38:19 i don't hate you for it though. but you said i was the only one. sure, body block me crouch jumping up the stairs and then wonder why we lose this round. type of fella to change my whole plan based on slightly having my movement impinged upon? wait, way to go. not me, i ain't the one. what the fuck? enemy yellow, enemy yellow! i'm 58 55 you... probably lucky shot, lucky shot. oh now i'm pissed. don't let him get four man. don't let him get four. let's goooo!
39:10 on a windu force with the galil. oh my god, i'm out of sprays! no, man, no! that means i've used 100 sprays in my cs career. that's insane. it can't be possible. compilation, when? guess i should help my team by getting a couple more angles out here, right? wow! wow! wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! that was pretty good, man. i should have had four. now i'm talking like apollo.
40:16 beep. i'm not rebuying armor on 87, bro. come on. you're trolling. i'll rebuy armor on 1. it's called fiscal responsibility. what do you think, purple? hey, purple, we're not with the bomb. that's our bad. what the fuck? where the fuck are they, man? where the fuck are they? why would i come down here? i don't want to be here. it faded. it's 2 on 2 yellow. we can do this. 1's on sight. i can do this. aah!
41:37 bait, bait, w bait, w bait. hit the howard dean, man. sheesh. don't reload with full ammo. we're literally 3 0 and i'm top fragging. everything i'm doing is right. they're not gonna see this coming. here comes the wide swing flick. don't body block me. how was i supposed to do that? literally unkillable. watch this. off the board, out into sight. surprise. good bait. w bait. he's over there. two left, though. what the fuck? he was not over there, you fucking liar!
43:01 he was, what the fuck? i guess he was over there actually. he's over there. let's do this y'all. well, they didn't immediately show a guy in window so i don't have mid actually. there's one there y'all be careful. they're gonna peek you here. fuck ass 2x zoom. my eyes ain't that bad. literally got him. last one's window purple. baby.
44:39 i told you i have mid, man. i told you. you don't gotta worry about mid. look at that. another coffee right now? no, i'm actually at the perfect caffeination. where i got like a buzz going and like only 2% of a headache. bro, don't smoke window. that's where i get my kills. i mean, we lost one. bro, we lost one on the flank. be careful, man. you gotta be careful on the flank. literally watching map instead of like paying attention. for what, man? yep. yep. yep. yep. now you get him.
45:47 who's next? didn't even get the bomb. now i got the bomb. purple's got sight, but how am i gonna get there, bro? i know how. i'm gonna smoke off... motherfucker, that was window. so i'm gonna go plant b. oh, i had him too! okay. can i say something? can i say nice try? can i say nice try? that was a pretty fucking good try. i mean, fellas, we're doing some serious work. you can't nice try yourself. well, they're not gonna do it for me because they're not talking much.
47:06 guys, let me op through palace. op through palace is literally guaranteed two kills. don't take the bomb. yeah, take the bomb that way and then all op to palace. he's literally under me, which is none of my business. i saw his arm. i saw his arm. whoa. okay. that was a hell of a shot. dude, these people are not in my elo. look at the way this guy's moving. that's not my elo, man.
48:15 that's, what are you doing in this game with me? literally the nicest try i've ever seen. literally the nicest try i've ever seen. holy cow. mac 10 pro, baby. it sounds like you're being sarcastic. it's literally in text, okay? it's a failure of character to assume that because of our sick world, any genuine message is insincere. literally got mine.
49:22 mac 10 down. mac 10 down. apartments if you guys want it. i'm 21 with no prospects. is it over for me? no. five years ago you were in high school. it's not over for you. five years is like nothing. good shooting. huge. huge play! yellow the gold, man! 27 with no prostate? i don't know about all that. i'm not a urologist, okay? take me back to the buttros.
50:31 can i get a rating on my joke? guy who confuses literary terms and french pastries? this book's got a lot of beignets. okay... i think i like it. i think i like it. alright, well this is fucked. i mean it's kind of just... obviously he saw me so let's go through the other site. i think it's kind of insane to just donate the bomb to a site but i'm not gonna say i've never done it obviously. scout in the damn window y'all. watch this.
51:23 he's cat. that's us. green, let's push him. lot of gravity assists on that round. ooh! that's pretty good. how do we overcome the cynicism of this world? i keep giving you the keys and everyone tells me to shut up. everyone says i want to fix society and i say you got to stop watching 250 30 second videos from strangers every single day that are fed to you by the algorithm and they go, i'm not willing to do that. i'm not willing to go that far. five damage? that don't impress me much, man.
52:31 did you get him? you could watch a five hour video from one guy. that's a lot better for sure. well, that's obviously catastrophic for us. holy fuck! i got michael clayton. $6900 though. $6900. up in mid y'all. gotta keep that kdr up. i'll hold mid. you do the rest. got him? alright, well obviously we just don't peek that way. now we go palace and get two free kills.
53:42 they're literally just showing the op has let them know not to come mid. oh, fuck, bro. what the fuck are we going to do about this? 1v4? good. then it's a fair fight. got mine. now they rush palace through the flank. he's palace. okay, that was the top of the head with the nova or the xm is kind of crazy. what a shot. yeah, they doinked me. only goal this round?
54:57 get this bad boy to triple digits. buy you till? no, no, no. you till is literally like a honeypot. by buy you till, i'll probably die with it in my hands. we rush them. hold w. you first. well, you fucked us. all right, yellow. what do you think? no, no, bro. kill him with the galil on the flank. i thought you said hold w. i wanted them to hold w. i didn't say i'm holding w. patience. false sense of security. what are we going to do, bro?
56:20 we got 30 seconds, the bombs down like inside of their solar plexus. w? wait, you first brother. whoa! jesus! why would i look at him in the game to say something that he couldn't even hear? whoa, assist! let's go! take him. this is the this is the fella. this is the fella. oh my god! dude, the yellow's crazy! the yellow's insane! we aren't going on a windy walk here.
57:07 it's crazy how good that sounds when i say it. i got a new strat. it is fab bastard playing cs. we aren't going on a windy walk here. they literally went a. are you joking? i spent 300 gold for them to go a? guys, that's not gonna work. i can't push mid. they let me down, man. if they went b, that would have been a different fucking story. let me just tell you that.
58:19 you said gold? i did say i spent 300 gold. that's really funny. back when gold pieces were a dollar each. okay, 5a, let's do it. i got palace. palace rush. guys, i think they went b. watch this. nice shooting. you missed though. got him. i literally severed his femoral artery. i literally did sever his femoral artery. you're throwing? i'm literally top fragging.
59:58 sure, yeah. just stop blocking for no reason. actually, you know what? i don't criticize yellow. yellow knows what's up. not even a good smoke. easiest win in my life. mostly, if i may, mostly due to my suppressive fire. 2001. good year. hi, germs, bro. bro's already out mid. holy shit. you need a slice of that then. guys, we're awesome. what do you mean, we? literally, i have full util.
1:01:51 do you play? i'm literally, first off, i'm literally top fragging. although green has the amy blue from the doom generation number, which is kind of swag. secondly, we're literally going to win. thirdly, i'm the last man back. i'm literally the anchor. i hear them running mid. distracted. going up. going up. going down. they changed that in the update. nah, i knew it. they probably, they've been watching stream. yellow fighting for his life. he's doing okay.
1:03:20 it would be crazy if you could buy a double jump. okay, well watch this then. oops. that frag is gonna get a kill for sure. i literally molly'd off a cat so they couldn't just rush it with the smoke down, bro. that's literally w util. nice scout, bro. scout this. yeah, see anything you like? swag. what the fuck? really? rush him. oh my god! got him.
1:04:33 90 and 3, we tanked, we tanked like crazy. guys, don't say i never did nothing for you. whoa, damn, yeah. yeah, no, no, you take it, you take it. i got mid. w discipline. wait three seconds. smoke's bloomed. fuck, that would have been sick. yeah, come on, come on, just peek your little head out.
1:05:31 enemy yellow thought they were safe when they swung on the palace door frame oh what a shame elegant streamer drinking caffeine from a glass that he keeps on his desk he is the best i look at all the solo queueers boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop he's planting? ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
1:06:04 the bullseye. that was a great round. heart rate, 62. baby. that ain't too bad. my eye did start to twitch for a second there. corey, corey, corey, we love you, corey. we love you. we got you in our sights, corey. we love you. 66,015. i don't think it's gonna do it, corey. i don't think it's gonna do it anymore. not in this administration, corey. i don't think it's gonna do it.
1:07:00 chiblee, chiblee might be okay for a bit. we gotta get through corey first. chiblee might be okay. huh, is apollo? hmm, huh, ain't no friend that i've ever heard of. do they smoke paladin, huh? pulp fiction. my reaction when i find out bruce willis' freaky french girlfriend from pulp fiction is also javier bardem's freaky spanish wife in golden balls. anybody else know what the fuck i'm talking about?
1:08:03 yeah, kinda. did people watch golden balls? cause i... cause i watched it. i feel like i might have been the best thing to happen for the marketing of golden balls since 1993. i did. i'm sorry. i apologize for that. cause the movie is kinda... it's alright, but... it's not that spectacular. i'm watching nomadland this weekend. literally don't blame me for that. i'm telling you not to do that. body blocking for t side. bro, buying an awp for warm up on dust 2 is... hi guys.
1:08:40 holy shit, it really does feel like an any percent. oh, i almost had it. i almost had the 100%. ships in the night fella. no, no, no. ships in the night. i said fucking ships in the night, bro. i can do this. motherfucker! i don't even have any sprays! what about les bonheurs? you should definitely watch les bonheurs. it's my favorite agnes varda film of the two agnes varda films that i've watched.
1:09:26 but you should also watch clio from 5 to 7. it's also peak. bro, can i say something? that one friend who's too woke. why is happiness a masculine word in french? hell of a shot, man. i can't even really be mad about that. one thing is, i think it was actually a good trade because i... my grenade probably did 20 damage to five people, which is equivalent to getting killed. i literally did more damage to them than they did to me. i literally got mine. top fragging.
1:10:30 that shot from yellow was crazy man. look at what they do to mimic a fraction of my power. guys, we just throw a grenade long. they're gonna come long. guy who smokes pit, guy who smokes roof, guy who runs car without being seen and picks up four kills, guy who saw it got seen going car. i'm just i'm looking at this leaderboard and i'm thinking this is a bad sign.
1:11:41 you till farming getting mad at team. i'm literally doing damage brother. we got nobody be good more kills for me they have anybody made at least the tunnelers the catwalk enjoyers nope fuck it we ball. oh, i thought i'd be go check me. he go check me. i thought i had him okay, now the fucking game can start now we can actually play ball i
1:12:56 come on guys. come on. not up. 100% headshot percent. three rounds in. come on. come on. guys, why are three of us running long? i'm the guy with the grenade. let me go! not you, dilfarming! i'm getting out the grenade to do damage to them. and then they're body blocking me standing like literally a millimeter away from my back so when i try to retreat i have a wall behind me.
1:13:42 you got an assist? i literally deserve four kills for that, but what a shot that was w game sense and w discipline. yeah, i agree. i think he's i think he's there that way. i think he's at cross where you won't be loaned. it's is it the first of the month or is it crossroads? we go beyond this one and wait. no, we don't buy for next. i hear justin in my ear by for next not that ain't happening. we're buying for this shit. let's give it to the boy.
1:14:42 you see that? tons. the tunneler. guy who goes tunnels. guy who rushes tunnels to help his team. guy who gets some damage dealt. guy who gets some damage dealt and actually did pretty good considering he was outmatched firepower wise. guy who fucked me so i don't get an assist when i deserve an assist. i don't want a famas, man. bye for next. i think they're coming b this time because i'm the only one here.
1:15:57 confirmed? dude, that's probably awp down. i need to get to that weapon. don't kill him. don't kill him! what's up, fella? what's up, playa? you cover that way, i got the other way. when you go your way and i go mine type shit. rose literally saving awp. yeah, saving awp for what? a sniper rifle? give me his gun. i want his gun. don't body don't body plug that! eat his gun! ohhh... okay, this time i got the right spawn. hard rate?
1:17:28 89. i gotta slow my exhales. they're fucking coming. what's wrong with me? i need to see a vod replay to see what happened to my crosshair when he walked out. i think i had it perfectly placed. he walked out and i got scared, so i swerved to the right and then tried to pull it back in. i flinched! i got scared and i flinched! emptier minds? not possible for a beast like me.
1:18:24 you should see my desk. whatever, we got the assist. w play. going from unemployed back to university student might be what saved me from the brink of insanity. bro, that's going from unemployed to unemployed. what are you talking about? i'm not trying to be an asshole. i'm just stating facts. you still unemployed, man. nothing wrong with it. that's kind of like the gentleman's unemployed.
1:19:00 but still, i guess what i'm trying to ask is why are you trying to get one over on the unemployed people by saying you're not one of them? grenades b, could it be? nice try, bud. where the hell am i? wait, green might be swagged up, man. brush him, brush green. literally got mine. shit. he's chilling, bro. it looked like he farted a storm, like he fell asleep and he farted.
1:20:07 got him. aura farming, gravity assist incoming. swag. you guys have never seen a play like this. damn, we on the board. first we throw the grenade, then we op. guys, let me go. let me go. let me go. i have you till spawn. you got this, orange. i trust you. does he have it? doesn't look like he has it. you're welcome. rose making spider webs on the back wall. shit looked like peter parker's room.
1:21:48 right here, this is my spot. i fucking told you it's my spot. what the heck? it's b? i got kicked guys. tunnel rat? i mean that's just not good. that's just not a good turn of events. that was a big round for me. i feel like i'm kind of reborn after that one. the op? bro, we're fucking loaded on cash. i'll just buy another one. two nades?
1:23:06 yeah, fuck it. let's rush him. let's rush him, bro. hit him with one of these. it's a mill deck. he left. now just focus. clear your mind. hear them coming cats. horrible news. god awful news. i thought i had him. i was hitting him in the right shoulder over and over. honestly, i thought we played that one okay for not having an op. they're screaming at you? i'm the only person who did anything in the whole round, bro.
1:24:29 they're screaming, good job! they're screaming, go, go, go! mocked. i got here faster than anybody in history. i'm literally just gonna ping. they're gonna come this way. they haven't come a, so they're coming b. don't do this to me. don't make me buy an awp and go to a different site. bombs down, y'all. this is my time. what did i fucking tell you? he spawned! i mean, i hate to be this guy. this is litera fuck it, we go. kill him. bad start. if you're gonna go oh, i see a shadow!
1:26:04 i saw his shadow man. you're not him? bro, literally look at purple! look at this fool! look at him! deflect him? pop crutch is not a real thing. if you buy guns and get kills with them, that's not a crutch. that's counter strike bro. one crossed. yeah, cross this. guys come b. literally i hear a decoy grenade out there so i'm not sweating that at all.
1:27:02 enemy green, quick check. yep, that's their carry. so called shift walk evangelists when they find out it just makes you easier to op. i hear them tons. they're literally track one side one off of funeral posting right now. they're trying to build a tunnel from their window to ours. they're forgetting all the names that the names they used to know. oh, you're lucky. then our kills get bigger from standing up the smoke.
1:28:14 don't worry, i got mine. i got this side. clutch save round. to me, this is cinema. neon bible or suburbs? it's tough because i think that sprawl 2, mountains beyond mountains, is like one of arcade fire's best songs. fuck it, we flash long and go, right guys? neon bible feels a little bit more cohesive to a guy like me, but the suburbs is also really good. clutch. worth? holy shit, we actually got out there. lock in.
1:29:27 i've got bomb, holy shit. with god as my witness, i did not know you could take 87 damage from a grenade. holy shit. holy shit, what's happening? because then he should have killed me 20 times. i had no health and he was just standing still. holy cow. i'm top fragging. wait for their util on long and then we flash out or not. that's fine too. good kill guys. i had him if you missed. not today, not today motherfucker. not today.
1:30:47 huge flash. let's do this. he's on site. the flick was kind of insane. holy cow. is the flick in the room with us? for me, a flick is when you get a kill, okay? gregoraki style flick. rashomon's a flick? yeah, a middling one. wait for the util. looks like we're going b, fellas. you think he's gonna try like a cheeky rush like he did last time? motherfucker.
1:31:56 we have teammates that cover us? we have teammates that cover our other angles? or what? are we all just out here like it's every man for his fucking self? every man for his fucking self, apparently. yeah, what do you have to say for yourself, bud? yeah, don't even... you can't even look at me. you're the teammate? i'm the damn team. easily top fragging. you're gonna flash me out, i'm gonna go. you have to wait out you till though. we're out boys, no fear. no shot, he made pit. at 5k elo, no shot, he made pit. maybe car. we peeked car? he's in pit, y'all.
1:33:16 you plan on covering it. what the fuck? i'm definitely dead. i'm dead a hundred times over. that's just that's that much is very obvious. holy shit. mine is two for not checking. literally, there's five people on our team. i'm easily top fragging. why don't you go to like purple's chat and say like why didn't you check? you should go to purple's chat and be like, hey purple, why didn't you check that? you were entry and i got mine. i got mine. you guys are gonna die. i'm coming out last here.
1:34:06 they're doing fast flank up cat. good start y'all. let's do this. let's do this. team cohesion. leeroy unity. i planted my feet. i planted my feet. i thought i had him. that deagle hit. you're right. it would have been awesome if that fucking deagle hit. what are we doing y'all? what's the play? aks? real original. distract them with the ball. it's crazy to molly a place we don't go.
1:35:23 literally hit everywhere but where i'm standing so congrats watch this i'm out this bitch. this place is over. yep funnels. you know what that was it. that was a bold peak i actually respect that b main used to be the center of our scene now b mains over no one really goes there. we used to spawn beneath the catwalk bridge. sometimes you didn't even check there what are the odds they'd be afk?
1:36:33 i was covering bombsight when i got tapped from behind, i got punctured. awful? you literally don't respect the hold steady and that's why you're not gonna make it to heaven. nicest thing i'll say about minnesota, craig finn spends some of his time there. green is like a fucking sacrificial lamb. the chatter who made it! how the fuck did that fucking work? just play bomb. my germs. holy fuck, the dead angle flashes. it's so funny every time.
1:37:37 i saw a shadow. nice shot, nice shot. it was a hell of a shot. he knew. it is funny to like accuse, and you're not accusing him of cheating, but it happens, that people will be like, how did he know you're there? and you're like, well, the map's been out for 28 years and there's like four spots you stand. so i think like he probably had an inkling more or less of like where you were likely to be.
1:38:25 that's the entirety of cs to me, that's why it's boring. pubg is a lot better because they've taken that design strategy but they've extrapolated it to have the same four spots in 80 different random buildings haphazardly strewn throughout the map. that being said, it does work and it is peak. don't be scared. yeah, their guns work, so what?
1:38:49 honestly, he just outplayed me on that one. you can't be mad. be a little mad at purple for standing still and just like their end goal is just dying slower instead of like coming out with us and having a chance to overwhelm them but whatever. damn actually purple kind of swagged up nevermind. that's tough. he literally stutters that he can't be mad. can i say so? i'm literally nice try. i'm not gonna sit here and be like, yeah, i would have done better than that.
1:39:41 literally makes it sound sarcastic. it's not sarcastic. it's genuine. that's why i put literally all right, lost one already bombs down on their corpse even though they weren't holding it what do you think we're gonna do here guys? this is the most i'm going to die around that we've had this whole time i'm going to die swing them. okay, that was fucking awesome that was fucking sweet purple, what are you doing? it's paul
1:40:37 and we need to do something. we're the t side. we need to force the issue. they were grabbing bomb? oh, okay. you know what? i vote no. smoking the cross kind of crazy because it's like throwing a grenade that says, here i am. wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. it's probably a viewer, man. smart. literally, actually, nice try.
1:41:29 they did what they could. now, if i may, and then i'm not the type of guy that should be giving some actionable feedback to purple on this one, but if they could come with the rest of the team when the round starts, it would really help us out. i think it's a bad sign, and i've been this guy, but i think it's a bad sign when you're always the last person left. i'm channeling justin right now. throw a flashbang, bait their util, then throw another flashbang. okay, guys, we're all dying.
1:42:19 we go anyway. guys, i got one long. let's do this. you got a flash for me? it was worth a shot, man. it was worth a shot. i believe in the purple. that's progress. you weren't last alive that time. that's progress. about 67% chance this works. no, he's playing scared. wait, no, he's awesome. good try. actually, good try. nice try, y'all. the carry. oh, does that say what i fucking think it says? the carry?
1:43:46 imagine you off an adi right now. i don't even know what it would be like. i don't know. it might be, it might be scary. what one of the reasons. so i don't think that i have sure. corey, corey, join up. i just saw your message. we're both bad. i'll play with anybody who's bad or at least anybody with a low elo. i'll even hop into discord, man. i'd literally joined a text channel. nope. fooled you. sorry. join the wrong one. fooled you. oh, fooled you. you did. you got me. you got me good. it's a good one.
1:44:48 you ever wonder like if it would ruin your life if you got on adhd meds, like what have you took one adderall and everything just kind of sorted into place. wouldn't that be a hard pill to swallow? not to like be glib, but yes, because we literally you would be like i've wasted like 25 years of my life at a minute. this is part of the midlife crisis i've had for the last 20 years. that would be crazy.
1:45:17 yeah, just like, you know, well, have i coped well enough with it for my whole life that i don't need the pills or am i struggling and i don't really realize it? that's how i think about it sometimes for sure. yeah. also, do i really want to confront that? and also, like, how is it fair that to get an adult adhd assessment, they tell you the appointments are in a year and a half. really? well, i tried to i tried to get an adult autism assessment.
1:45:49 and then the doctor told me we're booking for like summer of a year and a half out. and i said, well, jesus, really? yeah. and i was like, i guess it's not like serious. like, it's not like right. it's not like it's not terribly imperative. yeah. and i don't think it's progressive either. like, i don't if i if i'm on the spectrum, i don't think i'm like, you know, yeah, i don't think the symptoms are necessarily getting more present.
1:46:20 and they're probably like, he's doing all right. i'm already walking on my toes. yeah, that's probably the that's the other thing. they were probably like, well, you're trying to get medical care for something that's outside of msp. so it seems like you can just pump the brakes a little bit. yeah, i'm rocking like a 77% sleep score. that's pretty good. is it? i think 77 is all right. it could be better. it could be 10 worse. true.
1:46:51 i slept like total shit this week, but last night i slept amazing. i think i slept so well that i didn't wake up and my arm was in a fucked up position so my arm hurts a lot. but fair trade. i rode the peloton for the first time.