We got junk in the trunk and it won't go (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: We got junk in the trunk and it won't go (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-06-08
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "We got junk in the trunk and it won't go (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 101 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-08Slay the Spire 2

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0:00 slay the spire y'all. this is not really a youtube spoiler. it's a very minor youtube spoiler. i had a run in slay the spire that made me think like, why don't people win this game every single time? and what made this run different than every other run? getting the event that made a card that exhausts, not exhausts, and putting it on a genetic algorithm that already had 40 block.
0:33 and then being like, wait, this game's easy. why doesn't everybody just get the one cost card that gives you 40 block and doesn't exhaust and every time you play it, it permanently gets three more block forever. like it's easy, bro. and we're the fella, we're the fella as well. easiest game of my life, stone humidifier. we play stone humidifier, we rest. wmb probably says the nba is easy too.
1:12 didn't they lose last night? like, that's probably not wembe's fault if i had to guess. based on the very limited ball i know about the nba, i'm gonna guess any spurs loss is probably not on the shoulders of wembe. it actually kinda was. oh shit, wembe's washed? he needs to go back to the shaolin temple, man. me a glasswork. call me phillip the way i'm getting my glasswork. i love the concept of a status build.
1:47 i love the concept of a spoils map. when you said he's offensively flawed, but he'll get there, i thought you meant offensively flawed. i thought that you were like, when be is so bad that it offends my sensibilities, but one day he'll be good. that's the, this is why mandarin is better than englishman, probably, i don't know. haven't learned the word for offensive in mandarin yet.
2:21 one cost pharaoh might go kind of crazy. give me a relic. a relic's less likely. i'm realizing every time i do this event, i realize that all the cards they took out of the game, they took out because they suck. oh great, i got 100 gold and now i have an outmaneuver in my fucking deck for no reason. spend one energy to get two energy next turn. fantastic. who gives a shit? uh, nobody. okay, we're going full dazes, bro. or full statuses, i should say.
3:00 we're playing feral like i'm dean and terry. one green card lets you duplicate a card in your hand twice. i gotta remember that yeti literally was like seven when slay the spire 1 came out. so when they say green card, first off, they're talking about the silent. secondly, they're talking about nightmare. bro, nightmare, i'm not saying nightmare's bad. i mean, it's a rare, so it literally must be good, but let's just put it this way. what's the cost of the card? it's a three cost card, bro.
3:38 also, it's not called duplicating if you do it twice bozo. it's called triplicating. like there's a lot that you need to atone for there yeti. i'm talking about dual wield. that doesn't let you duplicate a card bro. that lets you duplicate an attack! that's not a oh my god. you're wrong in so many different ways. and that's not a green card, that's a red card. oh, green card is old from the event. okay, you got me on the green card but...
4:12 or a power, that's true, or a power, fair enough, you got me with that one. kinda hooked me with that one. is yeti still in purgatory? yes. but what's crazy is yeti knows that i'm not evil. because if i were evil, i could just start saying that they were saying some fucked up stuff. i could just be like, damn, yeti, you can't say that shit, especially in june. it's only june 4th, man, you can't be saying that shit. but i'm only sending you the messages that they send me.
4:52 i'm only sending you the messages that they send me. i always love a glacier, but this is not a glacier build. i think i'm gonna pass and maybe regret it forever. captain's wheel, crazy. not dying here would definitely be aura. my wife and i can't agree on a vacation this year. what are your thoughts? montreal or new orleans? so i've been to montreal and i've never been to new orleans. let me start right there.
5:37 i will say montreal was really nice and i have friends and family who have been to new orleans and this is not saying anything about it from the perspective of you know what it's like to live there but nobody i know that went to new orleans is like and i can't wait to go back but i think it also might depend on
6:09 your lifestyle with your girlfriend? are you guys going to party? you can definitely party in montreal, but you might get more of a party in new orleans. we probably don't die here. actually, this isn't that bad. i would go just for the live jazz. i hope that the jazz culture still exists in new orleans cuz my experience and this is not in new orleans, but it's like sometimes you hit the jazz club and you're like this is exactly the vibe i was trying to
6:52 cultivate and sometimes you hit it and it's a dude on the stage going, i could use somebody, someone like you. i was walking around, i was up and down on all my feet. you know what i'm saying? overclock could go huge here. fuck it, let's take a run at it, man. or maybe that song is awesome.
7:33 that shit in the where the wild things, our trailer is amazing though. you're talking about the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. you're talking about that one? you're talking about like something filled up our hearts with nothing? no? no one knows what i'm talking about.
8:08 you kids have to worry about hearing damage proceeds to sing loudly. you control your own volume, shallowjam. unless you're watching this in like a millennial two guys in a dream black latex glove burger handheld shop with like a fucking creaky ass metal stool and shit like that, you control your volume. you control your own volume. unless you're at like a cash only vietnamese restaurant that has us up on the tv right now.
8:46 you control the volume. why the shop go quiet? oh shit, everyone's looking at each other now. everyone's perceiving each other. cash only vietnamese restaurant? i was sitting at the counter. i called out to the server to order some bun bo hui. right now i'd like to have a noodle soup and add to it a banh mi. i'll say something man, turkish coffee kind of goated but they should, they should filter it.
9:22 i don't like getting to the bottom of the turkish coffee and it's all just, it's the coffee grounds man. a little too gritty at the bottom. reused bid? well they didn't take it under advisement last time so what do you want me to do? i'm going, i don't want to die so i'm gonna buy a ship in a bottle. i think we want more status cards to be honest and then we basically are just playing for the payoff of one day receiving
9:56 whatever that card is that turns it does that it converts every status into fuel and does damage for each one or something like that. black cannon, thank you for that. greatly appreciate that. how about a little philip put a little philip on him. playing pharaoh like we're terry and dean. this is the second time you've said the turkish coffee thing in as many weeks. i think you'll find it's actually three weeks because it was definitely related to mother's day.
10:47 just as long as we're being pedantic, let's make sure that we're actually like dialing in what we're being pedantic about, okay? mother's milk, you mean? you talking about nai nai? don't talk about nai nai like that. you don't know her like i know her. nai nai nai nai. wait. no, i'm talking about the... the yeah yeah yeahs. you can only take two more damage this turn. we basically shit on you. we shit on you and ruin your life.
11:28 99 is grandma. no. yeah, but it also doesn't mean milk milk or something. please do not call the wait. this is awesome please do not call the yeah. yeah. yeah as new york in the slop. the yeah. yeah. yes are legitimately good also, the yeah. yeah. yeah started in like 1998 or something like that they started way before they would have been johnny and jilly come lately's to that scene. okay, and
11:58 they are not indie slop. they just happen to be a good band that's from new york. i have no clue what you're saying, man. my dad ran the record label they got big on. wait, what the fuck? okay, first off, you can't be typing shit like that in chat. that's a liability for your whole family. because we could easily find out who that is, so don't do that. don't type that shit and then have me read it, okay? that doesn't mean they're a nepo baby at all! because the record label, it's probably not sub pop. it might be like some dude with a warehouse, right?
12:38 some dude in the meatpacking district. i don't know, it might be suge knight. i don't know. we always rest. we always charge battery. best comment in the game? blackco, i just have to ask. first off, i have a question for you and you don't have to answer this, but where are you from? because your comment is crazy. turkish coffee is bad. proceeds to drink from a plastic cup with coffee the color of ginger ale.
13:17 there's so much about your personality that you've embedded in this single message. and in a way, i have to hand it to you because it's insNLy good writing. it characterizes both the character that is being written and also the author. so you have made one of the densest sentences of all time. it just also happens to be like annoying as fuck. so i have to ask you where you're from. because the only acceptable answer is turkey. if you took offense to me saying turkish coffee is really good,
13:49 but i would prefer it if it's filtered. he said australia. that's so, it's actually such an australian comment to take issue with a nothing burger comment about coffee. listen, you're fucking lucky that i was not able to watch muriel's wedding today with the fucking inimitable toni collette, because i would have just a ton of australian comments right at the fucking tip of the prefrontal cortex, okay?
14:22 it would be right there. unfortunately, that shit isn't available in canada on the criterion collection, which makes no fucking sense to me. because canada and australia are like the same... i mean, i'm not gonna say the same country. just don't you call them prongs? or is that new zealand? anyway, i gotta think about this before i get too deep into it. the same country? i mean, they're both like... english speaking. australia is usa coded, new zealand's canada coded. nicest thing you've ever said to me.
15:00 let me think about what we would want. we don't need a hologram. we'll just hit you twice. hit you twice and put this on here. this will make something free. i wanted it to be rocket punch, but that's okay. all i'm going to say, i don't want to make too many enemies. priscilla, queen of the desert. good movie. not that good. good movie. good movie. not that good. cronenberg clears it. it's that simple. great soundtrack though.
15:52 i'd have to think about that one. can i get some statuses in my hand, man? hugo weaving is in it? yeah, i mean, hugo weaving, parents stamp. they're saying some of the best australian actors of all time are in it. is hugo weaving australian or new zealand? he's from florida? no. no way. he's australian. it's tough because he's in, well, i was going to say he's in the hobbit movie, but then i remembered he's in elf.
16:31 so maybe it's like the kiwis are canadian, hobbit coded and australians are american, elf coded. but there's a whole, there's a lot of nuance that goes on in these things, you know? nobody's a monolith. we all contain molotudes. he's a british born australian born in nigeria. it's wild. i told you we contain molotudes. get punch. rocket punch. dual cast will do 10. it's not enough.
17:23 doesn't matter but it's not enough. anyway, by the way, this is not coffee the cup well, actually it is the color of ginger ale but if i may you should know coming from a country with coffee culture a superior coffee culture if i may say so myself that this is the bottom of an iced americano that has had like nine ice cubes melt into it so, of course naturally it's going to get more amber colored over time but this shit was pitch black when i started drinking it. okay, whenever you create a status channel and orb, i
18:01 it's tough because echo form is just good. it shouldn't be that color. i don't know what to tell you. they made espresso and then put ice in it. this is the color it becomes. you, i don't, it's, it's the same everywhere. i mean, the beans change, but the color is the same. there's slight gradations in it. don't get it twisted. that's normal. take it from the coffee expert, man. now, have a, take a look at my cigar. i think we're going to want trash to treasure, but echo form is just agnostically really, really good.
18:58 i bet you've never seen anyone do that before. and then i took a huge fucking drink of it and there's still an equal amount of fucking volume in there. how does that happen? how does that happen? that doesn't make sense. same shit just it happened again. it fucking happened again and they expect us to believe that we're not living in a simulation. can i say something fellas? drinking an iced americano, meg ressa you're not gonna like this one. i want to cover your ears for this one.
19:42 drinking an iced americano is the closest husbands get to drinking like wives. you ever be like waiting at the restaurant, your food's been done for a while and there's just like 60 milliliters of liquid left in your wife's glass and you're like well that's like two sips and then every it becomes a math problem where every sip they just take half of the liquid that's remaining in the glass
20:09 so it goes from like 60 to 30 and then you're like okay one sip and then it goes to 15 and then it goes to like 7 milliliters and then it goes to 3 milliliters and then you're like come on come on! they want to have the drink and drink it too? it's crazy man. quarter after eight i gotta get home and get to bed.
20:34 i love that this is like not fair because i get to control the response of the narrative, but i love all the men saying, oh, so what your wife does is what all women do? and then a bunch of women in chat going, i do this and i don't know why. it's literally put me on a higher plane of existence and understanding. it feels so good. performative ass pick mes. oh, actually, actually everybody drinks at exactly the same speed.
21:04 everybody drinks at exactly the same speed. how do we get a new sushi bit every year? because there are some differences, some observable differences in north american culture between the way that men and women consume things. men are oftentimes going like... and women are sometimes going, can i get a knife so i can cut my burger in half?
21:34 i'm not making a value judgment about which one's better. if i did, cutting the burger in half is actually better because it's way less messy and also when you bite at the tip of the burger you're not pushing as much shit out through the back half of it. the cut is actually like the right way to do it. men are doing it wrong. you're describing you and your wife and no one else? why are you mad? do you like art? do you like pablo picasso? art is a lie that makes us realize the truth, motherfucker.
22:18 you ever think about that shit within the context of maybe overly generalizing some behavior in order to get you to see if that relates to the world around you? probably wouldn't go tear here. i actually was thinking the opposite. i was thinking that mummified hand allows us to sneak out one extra card and still get pale's tears to work. that sounds right to me. goopy is okay, and i mean pale's eye will just never use on purpose. this is interesting. we probably want this shop.
23:10 which to me means... mimi. remember that from the drew carey show? i should say remember her from the drew carey show. that being said, i still think i want this shop as well. because uh... we'll heal a little bit off it to give us some gas to go there and then rest here. 1900's reference. great theme song on the drew carey show. you're smiling strange. you're looking happily deranged.
23:43 have you settled to shoot me? or have you picked a target yet? i'm saying, ahhh, hey sally. cause your dog bite, hey sally. and then end the turn. huge. now we have five energy. you're just showing off that you know the words? i mean, what else is new? check this, this could be fun, man. what if you took a burn here, then turned it into fucking fuel?
24:30 did that make any sense at all? i don't know, but your ass is dead. whenever you create a status deal, five damage to all enemies? shmork stack. status defect is so satisfying? status defect is so satisfying. there's gotta be something there. you guys ever see urbanized? hustwit documentary from 2011 about urban planning? no? you guys ever see muriel's wedding? no spoilers, please. girls looking for answers in the great beyond. wait, rem poster, are you here?
25:38 i see it every year as my favorite movie. urbanized? i mean, i give it a three. i thought it was all right. it does make you think when watching urbanized, i was like, wait a minute, why doesn't like every city do bike lanes like copenhagen? it's so like we have dedicated bike lanes in vancouver, but it goes like road, bike lane, parked cars.
26:04 but like road, parked cars, bike lane makes so much more sense because then you're not as a cyclist wedged between either cars that are traveling the same direction as you that you can't really see and then also on the other side doors that there are people are opening up without looking at
26:26 they're mirrored to see if a cyclist is coming. so you're constantly like dodging into traffic or out of traffic like towards parked cars that could door you. why don't they, why didn't they have it next to the parked cars and like between the parked cars and the sidewalk man? would be nice. i guess like one of the things, oh we need the statuses. one of the things that's interesting about urban planning, i get it because like you really want to like build the city right the first time because now you're like
27:07 you're like, okay, well we could, yeah i guess we could do that. i guess we could change where the parked cars go and then move the bike lane over. we're gonna need to shut down every road in the city all at the same time to like raise it down to the loam and then remake it in that image. so i hope you don't mind. you're like, fuck motherfucker. it'd be so much easier if you could just go...
27:41 just hit like a little trash can button on a hud then get like a little roller. oh, i'm going down to the roller tool like bike lane light rail transportation retail on the bottom and then condos on top and not just luxury condos we're talking about like 900 square foot condos there with two bedrooms that are good for a young family sure, man. give me a fight through i don't really know what i'm doing beyond just taking like every status in the game but kind of working
28:26 kind of feeling like i'm knee deep in the passenger seat. i want a yard and a garage. no one's taking your yard and garage. you can always move to arizona. you ever think of joining city council?
28:57 it kind of seems like an awesome job because like the hardest you work is, okay, sean o'hare don't listen to this. lucy maloney don't listen to this. it seems like for most of them, the hardest you work is like once every four years during the election. and then during the actual, like when after you're elected and you're a representative, you don't even have to prioritize going to the meetings.
29:18 people will literally just be like, sorry, traffic was too bad tonight. i couldn't make the meeting. like what are we doing here? these are municipal elected officials? you got elected bro, you gotta be at the, you can't go to the meeting, it's your job. it doesn't make any sense. oh shit, oh wait, we're not taking that much damage. i'm chilling. bring back some shit that'll fuck you up. but i have no idea why the run is so good, but it's doing some good stuff. it's doing great work, man.
30:19 unlike those bozos at fucking can be an eighth. am i right? sorry. normally it's easy you just go unlike those bozos in dc. then i had to think about the exact geographic position of city hall true man true i'm realized it's not eight. it's fucking i think it's i think it's 11th. yeah, you're right. that's whole foods for no reason i was taking issue with the with the people at whole foods and like the the bc liquor store. i
30:56 hey, man, fuck that place, but for like different reasons, okay? but the people at the wendy's across the street, those are good people. and the home depot, i don't know. i don't know that much about the home depot on canby and 8th, outside of my pay grade. fuck it, we play it. we don't need pales tears. i know they said government's a circus, but we have a damn carny in office? oh shit. wait, that's kinda... be honest, did you come up with that? because that's kind of awesome. i'll just let you.
31:39 that should do no damage to me. i do numbers on facebook. doesn't everything do numbers on facebook? isn't it just, it's all bots these days, right? this gives us energy back. obviously this costs zero. i'd rather take no damage than act or take less damage than activate pale's tears right away. we can get extra energy just by attacking you as is. can i run a bit by you? sure, sure. let me see what it is. was the bit.
32:49 was the bit happy partner anniversary? because you left a message that said happy partner anniversary. i would say that is kind of unremarkable. if they do drop like a kill tony style like anti immigrant joke, i'm gonna freak the fuck out. i'm gonna freak out or i'm not gonna read it. can you type faster please? or did i miss it already? okay, wait, wait, wait. let's see.
33:38 guy who goes to church in hopes of getting conversion therapy because he wants to become gay. well, you know what? i think it's an alright bit. i had a lot of courage saying that before waiting to see what the consensus in chat would be. i think it's like, there's something to it. can i run a bit by you? no, the last guy ruined it for everyone, i'm afraid. i would like to hologram back something that creates a status and then this caused zero and draws something. you are not a status, i'm afraid. i do also, and this is, um...
34:34 not your fault, sean. but there is a difference between a bit and a joke. a bit is something that you can spin it out into like an improv sketch that's four minutes long and the jokes are exhausted at 90 seconds. a joke is just like, what if this guy existed? so like that, what you have said is a joke, it's not a bit. well, i guess you could spin it out into a bit.
35:06 you could, because you could, the first like minute could be about they would set the stage, he would be at the church, they would be talking about how like conversion therapy blah blah blah blah blah and you would be like oh where's boo boo where's this going and then it would be like a guy wearing a fred perry polo shirt tucked in
35:25 like fresh off the golf course and is like, he's always talking about like my whole life i just haven't felt like i fit in. i felt like i've been so different than the people around me. and then they convert him to be gay. but then you, so then you're like, okay, so that's the way they pull the rug. but then the way that the sketch has to end up is that actually he's not happy after he got converted because he's not being his true self because conversion therapy doesn't work.
35:56 so it's actually the anti woke woke bit. it's going around in a cycle, man, and it's pulling the rug out from under you just as soon as you feel like you've gotten some great footing. it's the shifting sands. good work. we do want to convert all status cards into fuel. sorry, i forgot i was playing save the spire as well. all pain and no ball, i'm afraid. wait, we're still taking no damage. do you think gay wife guys exist? yeah, obviously.
36:46 and i'm not saying obviously and then saying something like i'm one of them. say avi, of course they do. how could they not? the black cannon. now do you rest or do you upgrade? i mean an innate power is very nice. check your hp? yeah, but check my stone humidifier young pup. i literally think we rest anyway. i swear it to you. and we don't need to add anything. we've got all of our enablers now. and then you're gonna give me a relic and 600 gold? petrified toad?
37:37 if you upgrade rocket punch, your deck's insane. what is your fucking upgrade? okay, drawing... guy who doesn't understand slay the spire? two extra damage. okay, i mean, it's all right, i guess. no, it does seem really good. we really only have... i thought we had two in the deck. no, it's because we create like more with feral. that's right. okay. we definitely want to visit the shop. we want to draw a good card. play this. play this.
38:35 i don't need bulk up. but here's what i'm thinking. hit you and then take the 50 50 this hits bulk up. sometimes you just get lucky man. and then don't play your strike out of a sense of respect as a way of saying thank you. you have to die. i want to take no damage. i'm also realizing damn like the smoke stack is really the reason why our deck is doing anything.
39:24 i was wondering why like all these enemies were dying so quickly. it's because of the fact that every time we hit an enemy, every time we create a status, we actually play like a one energy aoe essentially. i don't think compact and flat cannon are at odds. i'm happy having one of them in the deck. i almost feel like a second bulk up goes crazy, man. and then just keep raising this max hp. and then we got 767 gold. another smoke stack is nuts.
40:06 six, seven, yes, man. fucking yes, dude. and then with this much gold, you just can't not take like a chandelier even though i really doubt we're gonna need it. but what this means is that on turn one, we don't have to activate pale's tears. on turn one, we can afford to spend all of our energy. i'll fucking fight you. say chandelier again. you want me to say it like, see ya? okay. see ya. use some more draw. use some more draw.
41:15 wait, what was this? no attacks gives you four block? gosh, sweden. i mean even storm is like maybe not bad for us but the run pretty much plays itself right now which i'm loving. do we need to draw? i'm thinking you don't care if you play flat cannon so you play a defend then a smoke stack which hits a bulk up which hits a flat cannon motherfucker. supposed to hit a fucking feral dickhead.
41:59 well then let's activate, no, let's draw a defend and then hologram a boost which then allows us to play a flat cannon at it. sure man, sure. i like a tailor potion. we got the marge potion, we got the tailor potion but i just don't understand how the name tailor, oh and the lisa of course the thorns potion. i don't understand how the word tailor relates to the potion that lets you draw three cards. this doesn't make
42:46 a lick of sense to a guy like me. hey, what is this? homer and lisa and maggie and bart margins my wife? she is so smart. is this a breath? because i'm still hearing, you know, peter, stewie, megan, brian. like i'm still hearing that in my head every time. or is that one literally from the simpsons? it's a will smith rap. you asked me how i know i'm a plead the fifth. welcome to steely dan jeopardy. we'll start with steely for 200.
43:30 local boys will pay a quarter for this. local boys will spend, oh, they'll spend the quarter just to ride the sil just to ride this local boys will spend a quarter just to ride the silver bowl. shine the silver bowl. hey, can i say something? that's not a fucking $200 question on jeopardy. a $200 question on
44:02 steely jeopardy would be like, he doesn't want to do this type of work anymore. what is dirty? steely for 400, the type of smell a wind might drive in your face. i'm buzzing it instantly. what is prickly pear? if john mulaney is ever on saturday night live, we could get a steely dan jeopardy. i say we as if we have any possible cache over what snl puts on the screen.
44:47 if we did, if we did, she would have won. she would have won in 2016. it's that simple. and you fucking know that's a fact. he's also hosted like five times. i think that makes him the host with the most, man. i'm no snl scholar, but... the bodacious cowboy was wearing what in gaucho? see, that's an interesting one because it's like a compound answer. because they're wearing, obviously, your spangled leather poncho.
45:25 but they're also wearing this with the one with the studs specifically that match your eyes and also what are my elevator shoes so that one is it's a very inelegant jeopardy clue in my opinion sorry i basically said fuck you but i'll be dad ass with you man i don't think we need any i think any of these actually make our deck worse i think an ethereal copy of a rocket punch could go insane for us man
46:16 oh shit, and then you get a pom pom pom, you get another one and it costs zero. huge. the showbiz kids don't give this about anybody else? i can't say that. if i say that, then the jeopardy episode is gonna get like, it's gonna become lost media. it's the f word, man. what is the f word? you can't be asking alex that question. he might give you the answer. it's gonna get demonetized. ken, i don't think ken has ever said the f word in his life.
46:59 this is an honest question and i'm not trying to just be gross. part of it is trying, well, i don't consider this gross, i consider it human, but you guys hate when i say stuff like that, so disregard. pretend i didn't say that. do mormon people dirty talk? there's no reason to believe that it should be against their religion, but i just can't imagine it. listen, do we have a shop? we may not have a shop for a minute. i'll take a little max hp. start with four block, why not?
47:50 you frickin' like this, don't ya? that's okay, i wish you hadn't typed that. cause there's no way i'm not gonna read that. you frickin' like this, don't you? it's so good. did they even say frickin'? is that even like a... i don't know if that's like what i would associate with utah necessarily. it's more of like a minnesotan type vibe. i bet they're saying some crazy shit in minnesota though. don't i have chandelier, bro? oh, on the start of your third horn.
48:26 that's all right. our whole hand is powers. guy who actually plays the cards in the right order? yep, definitely take that. thoughts on grizzly bear, the animal or the band? i like them both. dude, if there was ever a time, if there was ever a time
49:03 i think i miss cs. yeah, i know bug bite, because every time in cs you're just going, why is he holding this angle? lul, and then nobody's replying. and now we're having like a lively ass conversation, but for some reason, i don't know, maybe you're uncomfortable with the idea of adults consenting adults dirty talking, which is like, it's fine if you have a problem with it, but acting like it's my problem for bringing it up is fucking insane to me, but like it's not my first day on the internet, so i get it.
49:30 it's not the first time i've ever experienced this kind of hypocrisy. we're gonna need the energy, man. just wait on this. just missed you saying if it's not one thing, it's a fucking other. did i stutter though? like, did i tell any lies? i don't think so. alright, here we go. 250 damage on this turn. it's happening, man. it's happening. watch this. okay, wait. there's gotta be... there's gotta be something here. you're doing 62.
50:25 a flak oh it exhausts the statuses so you oh wait wait wait yow oooh waait motherfucker either potion anchor oh no wait, horncleat. don't you get two relics? you get one relic for that? i thought you got two. just one? alright. yeah we kind of assembled the boat. don't even want to know what's in there to be honest. one relic or two upgraded, okay. makes sense.
51:12 make it make sense? oh, they did. they did make it make sense. yours? i tried to mouse over to get a gravity assist. didn't work. draw some chords. you can play it and then get another one for zero. we have to play one. hope it hits the other. it didn't. that's all right. it happens. damn, basically fuck you, mecha knight. anyone else been watching dan's always on channel and going through the saga of him trying to figure out how to...
52:12 how to be good at super smash bros. just like going online, losing to me gunners with his favorite character over and over and then swapping to another character winning once and then losing 40 games in a row. you were fucking him up and always on today. i hope i told him back in 2018 or whatever. i hope i told him
52:37 that there's no hope. and i don't mean that you can't get good at it, it's just that you can't get better than someone who literally... i trained in smash in the best way you can train for anything. having an abundance of free time and then getting heavily intoxicated for like four straight years and having that be the default activity. every afternoon and evening and then like entire weekends would be like, you guys want to drink like 14 beers today and just play smash 64?
53:06 maybe walk down to the two for one pizza once, get two slices of pizza and then go again. let me fill up the way my glass work. honestly, we'd rather duplicate rocket punch because flat cannon only needs to work once. and then boost away more rocket punches, a boost away that dunks up and then you got like a 3000 damage flat cannon. it is a great deck man. and don't forget the fucking impulse.
53:59 or the impact, i should say, of stone humidifier. we're up to 118 max health. i want pale's tears next time. i've never watched someone who's good at this play it. well listen, i'll make the joke so you don't have to. still haven't. still haven't. i'm nostalgia comic, i'll make the joke so you don't have to! we need to fucking watch kickassia on the bike, man. it could be a fucking vibe.
54:52 do they have it on criterion yet? and i know that i said yet. if napoleon dynamite can get a criterion collection edition, then kickassia can too. now napoleon dynamite, worth noting, does not have a criterion collection edition yet. but never say never, man. favorite movie that doesn't hold up? i'd say any comedy ever made. you know what? turbo could go crazy here too.
55:34 no, not losing that one. i can lose that one. i can, well, you know what? we can go a little deeper and try to lose a strike or a defense. we're gonna rest anyway. need it? beautiful. a lot of comedies hold up. i was making a joke about how the top letterbox review for any comedy from 1990 to 2010 says this doesn't hold up. it's a reference, young pup. blues brothers fucking does hold up. what a movie. what a horrible turn as well.
56:22 i don't wanna duplicate a strike, i think i would literally play nothing here instead. doormaker first is a blessing. he's literally the easiest boss in the game right now. and i'm not saying that to be performative, he's literally the easiest boss in the game. now it does suck that like rocket punch is not gonna draw, but apart from that, i ain't sweating it. lose energy, but also every time we play a card we gain energy. that was all right with me, man. his time is limited, be nice.
57:18 i guess that's true. i shouldn't beat doormaker's ass, because this might be the last time we ever see him for all i know. i'd really like to play that, but it can't be done. it can't be done. it would be funny if he fucking killed me too. it's true, today's thursday. am i missing something? do they do patches on fridays or something?
57:51 hey, enel, any advice for interviewing for being a teacher? i got an interview tomorrow. i'm kind of scared. okay, my first piece of advice, and this is going to sound really rude, is spend an hour preparing instead of 81 minutes in chat reposting the same message asking for a reply. and you might say, oh, enel, they're literally looking for advice. no, they fucking were. the first 30 times they posted the message, the end of the message was, i heard you were the best at it.
58:17 which is obviously sarcastic, because all i ever talk about related to esl teaching is how fucking bad at it i was. so my first thing that i would recommend is if you're actually getting the interview, which i'm realizing that you're probably not cuz you spent 81 minutes trolling on a thursday morning at 9 am local time, which is insane. would be like spend that time actually preparing for the interview instead of trolling in a streamer's chat.
58:43 my second piece of advice is not advice, it's just well wishes. i actually really hope you get the job. why? it's what you want. evil? there's nothing evil about wishing someone well. how could it be evil to wish someone well? i will say, and this is not me just being performative, although the fact that it's a little performative is going to help.
59:36 we need to have teacher appreciation night at nfl games the same way they have like, you know, military appreciation night where like the jets fly overhead and shit like that. my daughter's kindergarten teacher is a fucking warrior. i've been called in a couple of times to have some meetings. sometimes it's good things, sometimes it's like, hey, this needs adjusting. and every single time i
1:00:00 my impulse going into the meeting is to be like, i'm so sorry that like this happened and my child did this. and then the teacher goes, oh, it's no problem. kids are like this. we all we love your we love your daughter here. we love having your daughter in the class. so not only is she tanking, like she's literally soaking up the damage so that like the kids can learn stuff. but she's also putting on a happy face. and what's crazy is that i feel like she's not
1:00:27 like putting on a facade. i feel like literally the same way there are like when we was born to be in the nba, i think people were born to be kindergarten teachers. you can like look at your class photo from when you were in kindergarten and probably pick out the kids that were born to be kindergarten teachers. they just have a different demeanor. oh, hello. that looks all right. yeah. oh, that's that's because it's well, it is a small. yeah, that's ok though. thank you.
1:01:15 how do we beat the queen? a kindergarten teacher was called miss apples. that's so awesome. i don't actually, it's funny, i don't wanna tell you my kindergarten teacher's name just cuz i think that she deserves a certain amount of privacy if she's still alive, which is honestly a concern when you're getting as old as i am. but she also has a fucking kindergarten teacher name, 100%.
1:01:47 you remember her name? trust me, it's a name you don't forget. but it's definitely a kindergarten teacher name for sure. you need to play a smokestack, that's a given. i would have loved to have played two smokestacks, but you at least got to play one. was it tammy? bro, come on, that's my kindergarten teacher you're talking about. i don't know her first name. i'm older now than she was then. so in a sense, she's the younger woman.
1:02:31 but i still, i would not deign to have known what her first name was. my kindergarten teacher? no shop, bro. this really only hits three motherfucking times? the interesting question is, what if you play a rocket punch? does it then create, well do we even have? we've never played a feral, okay. just thinking.
1:03:11 it won't be... oh, you do have a pharaoh, that's true. so i'm thinking like one play might be rocket punch. you'll have a two cost rocket punch and you'll draw two. drawing two is actually... this is doubtlessly the right play. we just hope to get some extra block out of it. motherfucker, you fucking liars. you lied to me. fuck! you know what's still big? give me a fight through up.
1:04:01 i mean you have to overclock. the overclock itself does 15 damage and you draw two cards you can actually play. the dual cast and the glass work are not interesting enough. bro, you're dead? i don't think so. i don't think that's true. you really only play one of these? that's crazy, man. this is a very canadian question. would you rather your wife... don't put my wife's name in the message. let's make it abstract. would you rather your wife cheats on you with jean principe or kyle bukauskas? it's anyone who says,
1:04:42 anything but jean principe is, they're out of their mind as far as i'm concerned. kyle bukaskis is probably older than me, but he looks like jerry o'connell in stand by me. i just can't imagine his boyish fucking visage if i walked in on them together, okay? jean principe almost exists with the age and the curly canine type haircut with the salt and pepper. he has a certain aura to him that almost makes him, like i would still be
1:05:11 but like i would feel betrayed, i would be upset, don't get me wrong. but it's almost like, i don't know, he's like a deified figure or something like that instead of just a peer. so yeah, it would be worse if it was kyle bukauskas. 100% worse than if it was kyle bukauskas, if it's kyle bukauskas, i should say. ron maclean not in the mix, that would really hurt. that would be hard to deal with if ron maclean like,
1:05:53 tuckled in me that would be really hard don cherry i mean it would be he's i think that don cherry is a worse human being than ron maclean but it's almost like if it was gone. i would be like well of course he represents the canadian id i shouldn't be mad at don cherry when he's pursuing carnal pleasures. he'd look at look at him that's what he does ron maclean would instead spin it into like a fucking yarn about how they'd be like you know?
1:06:23 antigonish, nova scotia, 1961. a mother and father had their third child in a hospital. and they would be like this, starting with the origin story of like how the, how the fucking shit went down. like i would be freaking out, man. i would be like, what are you getting out of my house? he has a scar across his face. he wears a hearing aid.
1:06:54 i'm american, i don't get this bit. yeah, yeah, yeah. elbows up. you kind of did it to yourself, sorry to say. like a few years ago, i would have been like, oh, who would have... would have rather tony kornheiser or stephen a. smith. yeah, we're not doing that shit anymore, motherfucker. you lost the right. now we're talking about antigonish nova scotia, okay? pull up. your life's over, by the way, young pup. flex on them for sport. what are you doing here? they didn't expect the defect to make it, man.
1:07:51 that was a sick deck. that was a really good one. proud of you? people just, i'm gonna, the wins will continue until stone humidifier gets the respect it deserves, man. for now, i'm gonna go pee and i'll be right back. see you in just a moment.