I'm saying there's a chance (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: I'm saying there's a chance (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-06-09
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "I'm saying there's a chance (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 124 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-09Slay the Spire 2

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124 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 what though? i actually preemptive avoided the milk voice there. i actually did change my muscle memory for one event. i no longer think that the cheese is that good. i think it's better to pick two of eight random cards than it is to lose a bunch of hp and take the cheese. can we acknowledge the fact that you face tanked 60 damage against doormaker? he's pretty rough right now. doormaker, i don't know what to tell you. i mean, i go to occam's razor.
0:38 one thing i would say is we're on the hardest difficulty in the game, so taking damage against one of the final bosses of the game seems like that should be basic. that seems like it should be normal. and then secondarily, i'll just tell you what boss do i like to see the most on acts 3 from the perspective of improving my chances to win? doormaker. 100% doormaker, man. which one do i like to see the least? fucking fuck the test subject, bro.
1:10 phase one, you can't play skills unless you're gonna kill him in like two turns. phases two and three, he just hits for like 11 times eight every single turn. and then the queen is like somewhere in the middle. the door maker's not so bad. who we playing today? ooh, the revenant. pardon me. fuck it, bowl. fuck it, bowl. fuck it. roll the bones. winged boots and a leafy poultice. didn't kash beat into shape?
1:50 forged an additional 5 for every other time you've hit the enemies this turn. i don't really know about this one. guilty is a good curse, for sure. can't be mad about guilty. every other time you've hit the enemy. the enemy, they're saying. they're calling him the enemy. wait, this is actually peak though. wait, this actually sucks though. cause i don't kill you and then i take 14 damage. beat off has never worked for me and i've got like 400 hours.
2:51 try spitting on it first, astral pulse for sure. but if i'm being honest, not to make anybody feel bad, it should still work. it should definitely still work. i gotta kill you so i don't take a bunch of damage. i'm kinda getting my ass kicked though. you can play a card this turn and gain one strike this turn. i don't know.
3:52 mm hmm. oh, no, honestly guy who weaponizes incompetence to get beaten off isn't that like that one person on reddit who broke both their arms? i guess they could have had them broken like against their will or something i never really thought about it he weaponized his mom for that one i know that if you just a lot of dudes were breaking their arms after that breaking their arms on purpose i also choose this guy's mom. you know what i'm talking about? i
4:28 self arm breaks went way, way through the roof after that. actually, turn one is awesome here. i'm going for a forge build. that one mom was busy. now, see, i like that you've turned the joke into a bit now, because i like that. i like the idea that it's not... they didn't spread out and distribute the moms. that it's still just that one mom that's like, damn, i've been like insNLy busy lately. he could be gone, could do some good stuff, man.
5:13 a reddit mod confirmed that they received proof. they received proof from the broken arms guy that his mom beat him off? that is, yeah, poor mod. i know dude, it was like, it really felt like some of those run verifiers at twin galaxies during the steve weeby era. does anyone know what the fuck i'm talking about?
5:49 i think we need to gain one strength. gaining one strength is already huge. and then we'd rather forge like crazy right off the bat. that's gonna be really good next turn. and then this is a little extra forge for us. and destroyed.
6:29 i don't really get the joke. i just, you know, have you ever seen the king of kong? they were working overtime watching like 90 hour long videos where people play a missile command and shit like that, waiting to see like one glitch on the screen that would indicate they modified the base board in the arcade machine. like those boys were heroes. there's a donkey kong kill screen coming up. i think of that shit probably every day of my damn life. i'm not even fucking with you.
7:16 i mean, what's the point in making a bigger sovereign blade, man? i'll stop you right there. there ain't one. we might as well make it bigger instead of doing nothing, but i reference it regularly and no one's ever gotten it. well, now you understand the plight of me, cuz that happens to me all the damn time. and then also, to be fair, i kind of deserve it because i don't even
7:43 go like, this is a reference to the king of kong. i'll just say some shit like this is a brian kaa situation. and then people go, what? and then they go, i go like that's the dude from the king of kong who said there's a donkey kong kill screen coming up. and they go, are we supposed to know that? and i go, well, i don't know. how do you feel? what's your model for human communication? am i supposed to be expressing myself unfiltered from the core of my essence or am i supposed to be
8:13 dumbing it down so that people can understand and relate to it. i kinda think i should be giving you an unvarnished look at the center of the fucking spiritual furnace, but everyone else is like, oh, it's too hot for me. it's too fucking hot for me. you're performing for the one person who gets the reference. yes, exactly! and that one person is often me. that one person is often me. i'll show you the life of the mind. stop making me weak. i mean, i like a lot of these, man, but i feel like it's gotta be a quasar.
9:20 an upgraded quasar requires stars. so something like a gather light, it'd be nice to get gather light and shining strike. although omnislice kinda peak, man. i think i need some form of aoe. i mean, nothing feels worse than like you take all these cards at the start of the game and then you just draw strikes and defends on your second turn. like what a sick joke. they're trolling our asses. get shit on. hmm.
10:13 mmm super massive way where we got something coming together here man, and then you draw it on the first turn i can't do shit with it honestly something like that could be worse until dawn to type shit. yeah, i mean you didn't ask i'm i'm in on it for sure i'm in on until dawn too. it's also like i
10:44 what's the difference between until dawn 2 and like, um, directive 8020? you could spin me a yarn, and i might be inclined to fucking believe it, about like, um, oh, different budgets and there's two different teams and oh, but maybe they're just naming it because they wanted to have a certain sense of gravitas and separate it from the dark anthologies and blah blah blah blah blah. i'm i'm a youtuber, i get it, man.
11:09 if you call something, you know, let's play until dawn episode eight people have low expectations. if you call some shit, i've never seen this before in all caps open parentheses until dawn two different story like the package it can make a difference. it can make a bit of a difference. big patter on this one. always sort of stone safety always off not the fella i wanted to see. hold this will help us out a little bit.
12:02 fuck off, cyrus. i wonder if i'm the guy who's seen the least trailer park boys but references it the most. it could be me. i'm not saying that's a good thing either. i'm just saying it could be me. i'm not even gonna hit you. i'm gonna save the vigor for next turn. he really is on his neurodivergent arc, huh? what does that mean within the context of trailer park boys? i feel like you've accidentally wandered into something and now i'm gonna ask you to dig yourself out of it. maddie1821.
13:03 maddie with an i, possibly from tom pare. you have nothing to say? pay by the letter? wait, you did write though, francis ha was a 10 when i was 15. now it's a 12 at 27 years old. what will it become at 35? i will say so. francis ha was a 10 when i was 15. that means you were born in like 1996 or something like that at the latest, which is crazy. and you're talking in here like a grownup. anyway.
14:00 also watching francis ha at age 15 is so funny. honestly, like i i you're you're you're innocent. that's a very funny ass thing to be doing at age 15 is watching francis ha. this is me at like age this is not a squeaks reference, this is literally like life. this is me at like age 11 watching the virgin suicides and going, whoa. what the fuck? but then also being like, wait, this movie's awesome. and it is.
14:40 people born in 1996 are 30 now? yeah, yeah, yeah. but there's different kinds of 30, let's put it that way. i mean, 30 in granddad's day, they were already getting the pension. 30 now, lucky to even have a pen. we want seeker strike. definitely want omni slice. yes, sir, we brought it back. i guess the plot of losing your best friend is kind of relevant to teens. yeah, when one of your friends gets put in a different math class,
15:27 and then like all of a sudden you're like, what? i thought we were b math students. and all of a sudden you got an a in ms. simmons class? this is just like francis ha. best war paint of all time. oh shit. that's pretty good. um, i'm gonna rest. i don't know. this run feels like it's going nowhere, but i also wonder if that's partly because after that defect run that we just had, like every run would feel like it kind of sucks here. just hold a scrawl.
16:23 three random upgraded zero cost cards into your hand. three random upgraded zero cost cards into your hand. okay, sure man, sure. wait, okay, getting big bang is kind of insane there. and even just having the sovereign blade is nice for the same reason having skrall is nice. supermassive already good. would have been nice to put it on top of our draw pile now that i think about it, but shit happens, man. voices carry.
17:23 i mean jackpot is 30 damage 3 cards this is 29 damage it's literally this and then this allows you to play supermassive anyway holy shit and then this creates another card and this will it will not cost zero this turn it's crazy to say give me another another scrawl one of these one of these and then this does 45 damage which 15 on you for me you know what take the potion kill him next turn
18:03 turns out jackpot is actually like exactly what we need for our deck. we should be looking for it in the shop. will you attack an enemy who loses one strength this turn? i mean, dying star is really good. we could use more ways to generate stars though. obviously meteor shower is insNLy good. we don't need to upgrade six cards because we've only taken one unupgraded card as of this point. so give me meteor shower and then a shop.
18:52 i hate this path though, just too risky. give me this shop right here. full art cards better than anything. do people still hate, uh, relax? i feel like every time, and maybe this is part of the insidiousness of relax, every time i've taken relax, i've been like, this card's awesome. i never take it. too boring. but the boring things in this game are sometimes the most exciting, man. like, pael's... xiao di di? sorry, not xiao di di, that's a different thing. pael's xiao peng you?
19:38 the little clay dude next to you that turns into a wall from time to time? motherfucker. i have dying star, can't afford to play it. motherfucker, man. motherfucker.
20:13 does saying something oxymoronic make you feel big? we got the damn psychoanalysts out in slay the spire chat, man. what are you talking i'm not just trying to deflect, but what are you talking what specifically pushed you over the edge on this one? like that's crazy. it was the boring exciting relax statement. i'm actually i'm leaving a little window open as well because it is possible that you're just speaking hyper literally
20:51 like you might have learned english through like star trek or something like that, but like i also need to know specifically what was like the impetus that led you to type like that. be literal man. no, but what are you mad about? what are you mad about? i mean i can go in here and i can chart the course of like our relationships downfall myself.
21:28 i mean, i see a lot of comments in here. oh, this is you say halfway died to reading comprehension. i'm losing it. then i won halfway through. i thought you lost the reading comprehension. i was going to crash out. have you considered playing beta branch? i, the reddit post was, i also choose this guy's girlfriend, not his mom. yeah. we all know.
21:48 you're not asking, you're just piling on dirt. and this is where it happens, minus two, yikes. the saying something oxymoronic make you feel big, saying things that sound cool but mean nothing. be literal, man, please stop. please stop reading my messages. i'm actually, i'm scrolling down deeper now. nl scared of music, easy to be the captain, not easy to be a worker.
22:18 librarian compilation of nlb mean, please play feral first, play feral first. oh my god, can you read? this is rage bait died the reading comprehension. i mean, that's just, oh, you have 31 messages in chat. they're like all from today. it's so crazy. that's so insane. they're all so angry. what happened? what happened to you? they're all mean like, you know that right? like now that you've seen it spilled out on the table, like you've emptied your pockets.
22:52 we see the sum total of your inner psyche. and you know that it's like i'm sitting here, i'm playing slay the spire. i'm going, hmm, i think this is a good card. it's the meme where i'm going, i like this card and you're behind me going, i fucking hate you, i want you to die. like what happened? what did i do? what did i do that made you think that you were right to be typing like that? okay, but you could have killed the queen on turn five? nah, buddy, you got some serious problems. that's so crazy.
23:34 i reached out my hand and you did too slow. they just want you to be great? no, they were doing something. they took offense. it's what we talked about like last week where it's like people that no one is no one hates me more than someone who was like my biggest fan but then i said something that made us made them realize we're 99% similar instead of 100% drift compatible. i'm not scared of the people who are like
24:07 they turned on the stream for five minutes and were like, this guy's annoying. that's a normal motherfucker right there. the worst thing is someone who watches like four years of content and then i say something that rubs them the wrong way and they're like, this is my number one op now. that's the scariest motherfucker in the room. now let me see, you've had some time to reply. i wasn't here for this conversation so i'm literally innocent. age and country please, age and country.
24:59 we're putting your heart on the scale against a feather. we deserve to have some context here. if you're 16 and you're from across the sea, it's a little bit different than if you're my age from where i'm from because i understand the constraints that we've grown up with. 23 arizona. we got enough problems. speaking of which, i think i'm gonna give up on this run and restart because i just, i'm not fucking with the aura on this run. i just think we were on a slow march to definitely getting killed. so because we have
25:45 60 minutes left before we play some friend slot. let's try to make one good 60 minute run instead of like a 17 minutes of slowly dying and then like speed running a loss. oh, i love them both, man. i love them both. give me a flash of steel though. let's get aggressive. let's get fucking crazy with it. oh, that's huge. it's power crept. ftl? it's not power crept, bro. ftl is a common specific to the defect.
26:39 clash of steel is an uncommon colorless card, man. the balance of the card is that it's more difficult to get. it's rarer. definitely a manifest authority. ftl's uncommon defect? wait, really? i thought ftl was a common card. shows what i know. is it uncommon in slay the spire 1 as well? there's really no excuse for me to not know that. maybe crank with two ks and then a three at the end is right. the 20 year old from arizona.
27:19 23 year old from arizona, maybe they're correct on this one. put that up there. leave them alone. i just don't mean this. it's just, do you know the riches i would offer to be 23 years old on a thursday in june again?
27:49 and it ain't, let me put it this way, i'm not turning back the clock 14 years to be type a ing in slay the spire 2 on twitch chat. okay, do you know what i, and so what, you're holding a treasure inside of your hands right now and you're letting it tarnish. i'm 22 and it's kind of bad? yeah, yeah, but it gets worse. like are you not listening to me? it gets worse.
28:22 and i think it might get worse like basically from that point forward. so you should have, i mean i'm appreciating being 37. the reason i'm appreciating it is because you can't go in the other direction. and in an equidistant amount of time, i'll be 51 and i'll probably wish that i was 37. how real is the colorless build in slay the spire 2? it's very real, it's very good. it's pretty real. okay, let's give it a try, man.
29:12 it's great if you can get it online. fuck, i should have read that one faster. colorless land is real, i've seen it. i think it's not to waterworld slash cable guy with jim carrey mod you. i think it's colorless land is not a myth, i've seen it. there's no end to the possibilities. you can watch mud wrestling on one channel or play mortal kombat with a friend in vietnam.
29:52 he was right about that shit. they were fucking right about playing mortal kombat with a friend in vietnam. the only thing that ben stiller didn't know when he directed the movie was that probably like the ping would have been bad enough that it wouldn't be your first choice. but how could we have expected ben to know that? no, ben. no. how you gonna let jake paul do you like that, ben? remember that ben stiller predicted rollback netcode.
30:37 was it you guys who told me about how, i don't know, maybe i saw it somewhere else, but told me that someone tweeted about the meet the parents trilogy and said what the fuck happened with little fockers and then ben stiller replied in earnest that was like all i can say is that on any movie we've ever made we've genuinely tried our best so sorry people didn't like that one. i'm like man come on man
31:05 you fucking did not try your best with little fuckers. let's be so fucking for real. now, did you treat every day on set as if it was a serious movie? probably. that shit went wrong in the conceptual phase, 100%.
31:25 but don't fucking lie to the kids and say we tried our best. you probably showed up at like 730 am for the casting time every single day. but i don't think when you were writing that shit, were you really like man the world needs a little fockers? i don't think so. you were like jay roach said he's only got one more fockers in him. we gotta get this shit out while the iron is still hot. give me a relic man. it's literally always dreamcatcher.
32:14 nl are you into any weird smells? i like i like the smell of like olives. i don't know if that's weird, but like they have a briny overtone i like the smell of an olive though. i feel like a lot of people wouldn't by the way thank you to everybody who said nl. i totally get it about the mr. clean magic erasers they really do i really do not like how they feel and i also found out another one yesterday another texture i really don't like the feeling of chalk
32:43 like, grabbing sidewalk chalk and then drawing on the sidewalk. oh, it just does something about it, man. there's something about it. really small particulate or something. i don't really know. i do feel like i need more damage, but also i feel like these kind of suck, man. we have anything that hits multiple times? no, we might create something like that, but... you know what? terraforming will do something for us.
33:14 at worst it's a strike, which is admittedly really bad, but that's at worst. my thing is i hate touching my inner wrist. you put so much faith in me to not go, what the fuck? that's fucking weird. oh my god, that's so weird. can you imagine? wow, you're a real weirdo. that's crazy. that feels totally normal to me. i can't do it.
34:01 no, i hear you. i mean, i can. this one just built a little different. why do we like creating cards again? because every time we create cards, we gain three block. okay. i could be persuaded then. thank you, chat. fuck off, nl. i literally said, how weird would it be if i did that? i didn't say i'm going to do it. i just said, wouldn't it be crazy if i did? splash me? fucking gamo blast, bro. okay.
35:01 a gambit? we re i'm not gonna play it. i thought about playing it and then i realized i already have enough block. i need to kill you faster than rolling boulder will do. damn, this worked out so much better than i ever could have expected. oh no, i spilled my matcha all over my macbook while reading feminist epub files. oh no. wait, wait, wait. i like that. is that real?
36:05 does the macbook still have that stigma? because it feels like that stigma cannot have possibly existed for this long. because that was the stigma on macbooks, i mean when i was in university in 2008. the macbook was seen as performative. now it's tech bro or rich guy. which way, western male? check this out. boom. $2,000 tumbler machine?
36:52 oh yeah, well my computer costs like a lot more than that. and i'm playing slay the spire 2. and don't say some streamer shit like, yeah but this is for work. i'd probably be doing this one way or the other. let me get a manifest authority. golden axe. golden axe doesn't retain but it does do 14 damage. no need though. i guess we could have done some damage. 14 damage baby. we probably win this one. things people save seconds before they die.
37:44 i'm gonna live forever. huge. they call me the seeker. computers are expensive. ain't that the damn truth, man? ain't that the damn truth? i still think you're an op if you own a steam deck. why? because they're too expensive for me to feel good about buying one. they weren't? well, they are now. they used to be 500 euros. is that a lot or a little? that shit's like constantly changing, man.
38:46 didn't you buy a switch too? yeah, i was, i mean, there's no reason for that to be honest. there's no games on the motherfucker. it's been a year. she's crazy. i felt like i lost some aura or i don't know, maybe gained some aura with my wife last night when she told me she watched state of play and there's so many good looking sony games that are coming out in like the next year. and then she put it on when we were eating dinner and i just kept hitting, like i would wait for like the first 10 seconds of the
39:14 games trailer and then just hit the fast forward button like 12 times. i was like, man, these are not for me at all. i did watch the entire until dawn 2 trailer, but everything else, i was like, this is not for me, man. everything that i like out of those exhibitions is always like they do a 90 second long montage of
39:39 indie games coming there that are like see we will throw a little breadcrumbs at the indie developers to it. there you go control go did direction in the control games or in through the women. i only played control go did direction but i i kind of felt like i was popping off positively and negatively like liv schreiber style in the day trippers and
40:03 kate was like, why aren't you going to play the new god of war? and i was like, i find their narcissistic ambition to be taken seriously as a piece of art, not simply as a video game, is perpetually at odds with the economic incentive to make the game 30 hours long. so they have this very artful direction that's done with an artistic eye, but at the same time, they're like, well, it can't be four hours long or everyone's going to give it a five. so we have to have all these emotional moments
40:30 just completely drowning in repetitive gameplay where you just do the same combos against the same enemies over and over and over again and it blunts any kind of edge that the story could actually have. that's what bothers me about it. she was probably like, i wish this guy would shut up, but i was speaking from the heart.
41:09 just put it in story mode, bro. no, because then they could... it's also at odds with the direction because you're watching a movie and you're like, why am i watching a movie where the camera is here behind the main character's head and slightly off to the right at all times? bro, you are not edward yang. no disrespect to you, but you're no edward yang. now, have i seen dee dee? not yet. it's 184 minutes long, but... so maybe one day.
41:43 now do i need to... i don't think i need to draw more cards. what do i need to do? we don't need to forge. adding energy would be good but we also suffer from a lack of stars. one con spectrum shift changes everything. didi's also a good addition to the movie. i've seen didi. no, didi, don't piss in the damn shampoo or whatever.
42:23 no, man, no, dee dee. dee dee, be nice to your mom, bro. don't piss in your sister's moisturizer or whatever the fuck you were doing. dee dee, that's too fucking far. you crossed the damn line, dee dee. you know what? i shouldn't have done it in this order, but... you gonna watch obsession? yeah, probably, but it won't be for a minute, that's for sure. does it have the song in it? from fashion tv. vip daniel, are you here? i need you to back me up on this one. you have my obsession.
43:05 i'm in a rush and i will find you. i will catch you. yes, cycling jake, i knew you. jake, you're all right, man. i knew you would know. my obsession, my circumstances. i will find you. i will capture you. catching your movie going ticket to see the new scary movie. i gotta know what's going on with it. a pejorative. oh shit. great card, man.
43:50 i'm sure it's gonna... i mean my guess is that it's gonna suck ass for sure. surprising nobody at all obviously. they're still working on 2017 anti wokeness and we're saying this is a bad thing.
44:21 that might just be, i'm like trying to be as charitable as possible to the new scary movie for no reason. that might just be for the trailer. that might just be to get butts in seats, okay? maybe it's actually gonna be a really, really progressive wayans brothers movie. no, no bro, the new scary movie is actually pretty woke. not according to all the reviews. oh shit, the reviews have come out?
44:52 what did the critics think of it? what did the critics think of it? ah, what do they know anyway? scary movies are a movie for the people, man. it's not a movie for the critics. scary movies always been for the fucking tax americana. ever seen juwanna man? yeah, i've seen juwanna man like 12 times. i will not be elaborating any further. let's just start with the obvious. not a good movie on any conceivable rubric.
45:31 really really bad movie boggles the mind like defies logic what's it about a bad boy in the nba gets like suspended for a year? so he goes undercover in the wnba and nobody knows no, nobody is nobody's like this is weird falls in love with his teammate and then eventually of course his teammate finds out that he's not a woman named joanna man and instead of being like
46:05 what the fuck is wrong with you? she's like, i mean she's mad for like a little bit, but then she's like, okay, let's get married. it's a whole, it's a whole thing. isn't this the same plot as she's the man? okay, i'm gonna stop you right there. they both kind of pull from that shakespeare sort of 12th night, you know, the cultural ground spring, you know? they all kind of pull from the same playbook, but
46:42 but you want a man doesn't do it in a way that is bringing us together. it's doing it in a way that is tearing us apart. i think we still take nothing, man. what about little man? i literally, so i love all of these horrible movies either because they're so horrible they're good or because you just watch them and go like how on earth did this ever make it through like the conception phase. little man i actually had to dnf.
47:27 i just, and i know you're like, how could that be? because the concept is crazy. what if there was a robber who was indistinguishable from like a little boy, like a baby, and went undercover with the, in a family. yeah, yeah, i mean, there's a whole lot of shit to have as a little man that, i mean, it just sort of boggles the mind. i just, i could not finish the movie. in a weird way,
47:59 almost because they didn't do enough with the concept, if that makes sense. like of all the insane things that they could do with having an adult that looks like a baby, they kind of lacked imagination, which is crazy in and of itself. come on, man, give me some good shit. i don't wanna play this garbage without having played a terraforming. what would you have done? i think i would have had him
48:41 give up on the job and actually like try to relive his life. like start life over again as a one year old. i think that would have been like, would have been the subversive way to play it at least. can you imagine how easy like the first grade would be if you were actually 31 years old when you, i mean the first grade was already
49:08 it's not that challenging. i don't want anyone to feel bad about their academic performance in the first grade or whatever, but it's already not that hard. but imagine how much easier it could have been, man. i mean, when you're vulnerable, i must hit you. that simple. if you had to pick between scary movie and the nude nate bargatze movie, which one are you taking?
49:53 leaving a light on for the breadwinner, but i do i i'm rooting for it i don't know really anything about nate bar gatsy i'm rooting for it in the sense that i would love it if like the mid budget comedy could demonstrate economic viability and possibly come back but so i want that i would rather that that
50:17 did well than scary movie. but that's just not having known anything about either of them. i guess i would rather at the end of the day, i would rather that like the best one wins, but i don't know what that is yet. this ain't the movie to do it. it's actually my favorite movie and you've broken my heart. motherfucker, man. wait, we mog? damn, surprised. whenever you create a card, gain one strength. all i fucking do is create cards, bro.
51:21 i mean this is obviously good too, but thoughts on the blues brothers? it's one of my favorite comedies. i really like the blues brothers. blues gotta be one of the best genre of music to hear in a movie. we suffer from a lack of energy, but pales legion is so good. it's gotta be pales legion and then just let orbit carry you.
51:56 just like all of them people did on the devil's plan season one. you know what i'm talking about? until succ jin, i mean, i gotta respect him. he fucking nutted up and decided to just win the whole thing. but it was kind of like, it's a great season of reality tv. it's the collective versus the exceptional individual. we don't talk about season two. we don't talk about season two at all. sorry, brother. we're going all in on acabeko here, but...
52:31 gotta save some energy. i'm not playing this shit with acabeko. have you lost your damn mind? thank you, pales legion. he's gonna fly away. he thinks he's on the oh brother where art thou soundtrack. i'll be honest, i don't really give a fuck if he does. i would rather not lose flash of steel, but it's not as bad as losing the only card in our deck that did anything like last time. also, no, he's not. well, yeah, he still might. we'll see.
53:39 he was born and raised, yeah he's definitely flying away. we're down to old kentucky. plumsie and a relic, absolutely. sparkling rouge, history quickly crashing through your veins. yeah man, i mean there's something to be said about a jackpot. there's something to be said about it, man. a jock port, yes sir, i know that's right.
54:29 33 damage? if this kills you, i'm happy to play it, man. deck is all random shit. this is where you post random shit go and i give you reddit gold. reddit gold and rum, yum, yum. think i'll go and get me some. wait, we kill you. i be eating random shit sometimes. can i say something? i eat a lot of girl dinners, man.
55:23 i'm realizing that my lunches when i don't have time on the weekend to do meal prep are very girl dinner coated. handful of peanuts, maybe like a banana, some dried mangoes and then like a granola bar. the only difference is i don't put it on a plate. i just like carry it all in my hand down to my desk. the place where he was born and raised. wait, every time we create a card, you get zero cost cards in your hand.
56:04 huge and that alignment gives us motherfucking energy at the cost of stars or would we rather quasar? for zero energy and then it's actually huge we can exhaust those toxics and then get another quasar out there and then i don't know just don't draw defend next turn you got in here for me. i mean no defense is pissing me the fuck off fuck it. hmm
57:07 cross the plane. operating on the assumption that this kills you. huge. how bad do you want update on slay the spire 2, man? i don't know what the question is referring to. i'm not just saying that to be an asshole. i don't... oh, i took an oste attack. i can't fucking attack you and now i gotta kill you with this motherfucker. wait! so i killed you with kusarigama. i don't understand. i don't understand. is update a card or is update like the concept of an update to the game?
58:01 yeah, and also how bad. you're not helping, okay? you're piling on. update to the game? i think honestly, the thing about slay the spire, and this is my own annoying take on it, is that it being perfect forever is better than it getting content for like, just for content's sake. because i've been playing slay the spire 1 for 10 years and i honestly, at no point was i like, man, this game would be so much better if it had like 30 more cards in it.
58:31 the thing that makes it evergreen is that it's a game like chester checkers that you can be at the cottage and just pull out and be like, i could play this for eight hours today easily. so i feel like other, i mean, this is a rude thing to say, but also not to you, but to other games. but if a roguelike is a seven out of ten, then it needs a fresh injection of content at all times to give you a reason to come back. slay the spire is operating on a higher vibration.
58:58 it needs to be very careful about the new content that they add, because upsetting the perfect equilibrium that they have with respect to the balance of content and difficulty could compromise the game's evergreen potential. so i'll take it whenever they're ready for it. my game crashed. my run got so good my game crashed. they might want to patch that, i guess. that's the first time i've ever had the game crash. they were probably like, you don't want to fucking fight this guy. and they're right about that.
59:51 but right about that shit, we're fucking sure. now i just got man of constant sorrow stuck in my head. and i am not fucking complaining, man. five damage, huh? they're literally trolling. one million views on youtube? man of constant sorrow only has one million views on youtube? no, hell no, man. that's criminal. fuck it, you gotta go. now it has one million and one based. yes, we're
1:01:03 we're bringing it back. the powers do so much damage. the album went platinum. it did. it was, i mean, it was number one on the billboard hot 200, man. and we're not talking about like in 2020 where i think like your label just buys it all. we're talking about fucking like this shit was beating the backstreet boys. shit was beating nsync. real talented musicians like that. well, um,
1:01:56 that's what i'm gonna play. and you know what? fuck it, get him out of here. i don't care. just felt nice to play a card. you think n'sync ever got off rhythm? i fucking guarantee it though. i've seen trolls band together. they had to finally hit the perfect family harmony in order to save floyd from velvet and veneer. i mean they were fucking... that was dicey for a time. there was a time you were watching the movie. you're like, i'm not sure if they're gonna make this shit happen. they clutched up though. rest assured.
1:02:43 i'm gonna fight an elite because i think this run either should win or die right now. we gotta double up. there's no more pussyfooting around is what i'm trying to say. worst orbit of all time. we need to either get some relics that make it obvious that we're going to win, or we need to get our ass beat so that the run's over, which is also fine as well. no more toe walking around, exactly. see, you get it. now, you're all gonna pay.
1:03:32 first maybe a little pattern, a little just a... no, don't burn pales legions. play your attack. gives you more energy to play another attack and then a big stardust. motherfucker man. whatever. does 8 damage. gives us energy back. does 8 damage. arsenal's insane. yeah, me before the champions league final.
1:04:12 don't even ask what i was thinking after the champions league final. something different, cuz i'm pretty sure that they lost, right? it does create a bunch of cards. the problem is i don't wanna draw them. crash landing, arsenal's nuts. all right, wait, one person in chat said it, let's do it. discounts is creating a card, could transform a status. epl is the worst league below serie a. yeah, okay buddy, you ever hear of league of legends?
1:05:01 it's much worse. i'm telling you, it's much worse. you need to play orbit. you need to play orbit. and we need to continue facing this way. you know what? crazy play. snekko it. you get a free defend, a free venerate, free spectrum shift, which is crazy. you get to play your arsenal a turn earlier. actually, a huge pull. three away from uribe. crash landing is... crash landing, better to play last.
1:05:52 pillar of creation, equilibrium, crash landing. we get one energy. no, we don't get one energy back, but it's okay. nine strength! i've retained my hand. i've drawn a clumsy. don't i retain for like three turns too? no, okay, just one turn. i had it confused with the potion. discovery.
1:06:32 i mean supermassive is going to do a lot of damage. reflect though, for 0. i love the idea of a reflect. and then just going straight into a prolong so we also get that much next turn. would be nice to retain these though. i mean honestly what the fuck do we care man? put a good block on top. catastrophe. could play some good stuff. prowess is 8 damage. 33 damage.
1:07:40 pretty good. hopefully we just get supermassive next turn. supermassive does 83. it has me feeling we should definitely be like turning around to fuck you up. although you're gonna attack. can't game block. that's not conceivable to play that. umm... this is a thinker. cause you... i don't know what their next order is. to be honest.
1:08:31 once it dies it turns you around yeah but what does he do next turn because if i can't gain block next turn and he attacks for 10 times 2 i i lose and when it says two turns does two turns mean this turn plus next turn or does two turns mean next turn in the turn after this plus next okay in that case i feel like the play is two strikes
1:09:08 supermassive on you cuz supermassive does more damage, two strengths kills you. and then you can afford the panic button, but didn't kill you is the thing. next time we get landing celestial might, cuz i had eight vigor on the first one that makes sense. yeah, okay. i still think we're okay cuz of crash landing. i think you do it and dramatic entrance. holy cow. yeah, fair enough, man.
1:10:04 gotta be bundle of joy. we got 15 minutes to do this. i gotta lock in. give me the sigh. it's easy enough. no, you needed tyranny, bro. you sound like everybody recommending let's plays when obsidian games go on steam sale. know what i'm talking about gamers? is tyranny, is that an obsidian game? yes. yes it is. i knew that. what's obsidian games? they made fallout new vegas your favorite game.
1:10:57 i mean you definitely play arsenal. it does 8 damage. then this gives you a shitload of fuck. i thought maybe there would be a zero cost card in here somewhere. i mean, maybe we just kill enemies by playing powers, man. we don't have enough powers to play. losing more max hp. you can't resist us mr. powers. au contraire baby. i think it's you who can't resist me. a card that exhausts, no longer exhausts. it's like the most powerful
1:12:00 upgrade in the game. i'm just gonna say, i mean, it's literally the only exhaust card we have in the deck, so yeah. ohhh! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
1:12:44 three different youtube voices well you fucking know what voice you're hearing too much on youtube these days this stupid criminal this stupid criminal thought he would knock over a 7 eleven what he didn't realize was that the owner keeps a shotgun under the counter this stupid bastard thought he could afford this tent
1:13:15 heartbreaking, a streamer went into the shop with not enough money to buy his favorite relic in the video game slay the spire 2. make sure to let us know in the comments below what your favorite relic is in slay the spire 2. my grandma sent me a youtube short of an ai cat and puppy the other day. the short was also 100% indonesian. i will say, um, i think that ai video generation has actually been really, really huge
1:13:54 or countries that previously have not been able to break into like the north american media market because they're literally getting a groundswell of attention with 60 plus year olds who are just watching youtube shorts and instagram reels all day like videos of a bunch of like
1:14:11 cats with some... i don't even know where the music would be from but with the cats riding a train like a train that just has cats on it like reading newspapers and shit like that and then in the background it's a song i've never heard of let's put it that way. much respect i mean that's you recognize ball man. i'm gonna be mad at you for that. it's crazy to not just throw away a strike like what was i thinking?
1:14:44 in what circumstance would you ever want to like put a get rid of a card that's not a basic strike or a defend unless you have a curse in your hand? it doesn't make any sense. and don't come up with a fucking answer to that question. piss me off. across the plane. i didn't hear the question. the question was is this your handwriting? whoops. is this your card? you know what's crazy? i've seen a lot of busking.
1:15:56 you know busking like the people juggling shit on the street when you're like 10 minutes late for something you gotta be at, but then like all the signs are like you can't park here anymore? like shit like that. oh good prayer wheel with like one combat reward coming. i've never in my entire life, i've never seen like anyone drop something while juggling. i've never seen anyone juggle swords and like accidentally like cut themselves.
1:16:31 i've never seen... i've never seen someone like swallow fire and get really badly burnt. i'm starting to think that like these things are not that hard. because if they were actually hard, you would think that they would be fucking occasionally messing it up. but they literally never mess it up. and i'm not just trying to... oh fuck, of course you gotta play that shit. i'm not just trying to be an asshole about it, but it just like...
1:17:08 it feels like occam's razor, man. occam's razor would tell you that they would fuck it up if it was difficult, but they don't, so it must be not that hard. fuck it, we still probably want it. nah, man, we're on 29. it seems hard, that is true. i mean, that's why i'm watching it, man. that's why i'm watching it. it does seem hard. yeah, we're not gonna be doing that. what kind of bug would be your favorite if you became a frog? great question. awesome question.
1:18:08 i'm trying, so basically the question, you've laundered the question of what is the tastiest looking bug through like a species transformational aspect which is smart because otherwise if you said what's the tastiest looking bug i'd be like i don't really want to eat a bug but now i'm forced to think about it like if i was a frog i would be eating bugs so i would have to think about i would i would i would be beholden to that um flies just don't seem tasty now you gotta do what you gotta do but they don't seem like the tastiest
1:18:43 the tastiest bug out there. something to do with the texture of the wings just strikes me as not being the most palatable. dragonflies? i don't know, i find dragonflies like, i mean beautiful but also like kind of disgusting. which is true of many bugs but there's something specific about dragonflies. i'm just like i don't really like them. yeah okay a butterfly to me seems like it would be tasty.
1:19:17 i'll meet you on that one. i do feel like a butterfly seems like it could taste really good. otherwise, otherwise i don't know. i'd have to think about it. let's be honest, like we don't need explosive ampoule on the boss. that's not, it's not that relevant to our interests i'd say. a beetle? i wonder if a beetle feels like biting into an ice cream sandwich. eating a beetle i should say. because it's got that like outside crispy texture.
1:20:08 and then inside i have to assume it's just, it's gooey after that. you're acting like i'm gross. the question was like if you were a frog, what bug would you want to eat? like, fuck me for interfacing with the question in good faith. i can't believe we've made it to the bosses, man. let's give it a try. your answer should have been a ribbit. it's funny, but it's just another way of skirting the question, which i find dishonest to be honest with you. let's take advantage of acabeko, but not take advantage of pale's legion on this turn.
1:20:51 we can use pale's legion more effectively on a future turn. not this turn though, because we are going to need a crash landing. acceptable. he hates dex potions? you have a staff badge. be very careful. i'm not talking to myself by the way. this one sucks, because i want to... these are like my three most valuable cards. the thing is, i need to... i need to consider the test subject as well, who's even more annoying than the queen. okay, we need more cards.
1:21:41 not those ones. those cards are bad. i have good cards in my deck. i know it to be true. play a defend, don't play anything else because we can trigger orbit next time. that's big. i would prefer to not die. how are we going to do this? you're going to play a manifest authority and get an awesome card. i don't think that's awesome enough. but we're not dying. we're just getting badly hurt.
1:22:46 when you transform the debris into a wound. you're going to need this. this does 16 damage. this does 32. so we would like to transform. we're not going to play the bomb, so let's transform that into something incredible. something incredibly mid. we're doing 30 damage. we're not dying. we're doing 22 damage. gamma blast! 22 damage, we're not dying.
1:23:50 not necessarily stoked but not dying. this is huge. wait, wait, wait. this is audible. then this, we may live the fight another day. okay, now we probably, i mean there's no world in which we don't get our ass beat by the test subject, but still. obviously you need this. obviously you need this and i don't wanna die so yes, i'll play that. crazy defense.
1:25:08 up drawing skills bro. it's cringe. need to play it. need to play it, need to play it, but simmer for a moment. can i kill you? oh, i could fucking kill you. it's gonna take a little bit of finesse. this is the way. you know you can play the powers without scaling, sir. i can't, it's crank again, man. it's crank, crank. you have to go outside. you're 23 and it's june 4th. you have to go outside.
1:26:10 this time in your life will never happen again. it's too hot outside? i didn't mean go out, like die of heatstroke in the sun. like go to the movies or something or go to a cafe. you just didn't know? you didn't know and you're deflecting? i played my powers, man. deflect, deflect. no, i'm literally trying to save your life. i'm trying to save your life. i've played, oh look at my, this is all powers except for this, but this is all powers, man.
1:26:54 what if i'm broke? you're chatting at noon on a thursday like that was... i'm not trying to be an asshole, that's the base case. but there's stuff you can do that's free too. i'm just wondering why you're so mad when you have... you've got the universe on a string. you've got the one thing money can't buy. youth! okay, the defend doesn't save us but creating three cards helps. panache is something. purity can get rid of two curses and honestly we don't need the boulder.
1:27:41 i'd love to play orbit, but i also need to not die. honey can't buy a bigger prostate? this is what pisses me off is that you don't even know how this shit works. your prostate can be too big. if any, i think when it gets too big, you really run into problems. you start like pissing a lot in the night maybe? whether it's for a malignant reason or a benign reason? there's an optimum size for it, which you've so ridiculously ignored.
1:28:39 eight inches and thick exact, shit, i'm fucking late for friend slop. god damn it, one second. i'm on my way, sorry. three mins, wait, but no, but corey's already got the lobby up. nobody else has said anything. i'm late, but i'm not too late. cuz you keep getting distracted by chat. getting distracted by chat is literally my job. you wouldn't get it. that being said, i should install the game. look at that. no pales legion. i don't think we're doing 155 damage to you.
1:29:32 we never played an orbit, which is really bad. let's put a master of strategy on top of the draw pile and then draw it. draw one card. two cards, okay. i think if we have a chance... well, how much damage are you gonna do? this is gonna take off like three. you're gonna be doing eight times six, which is like 40 something damage. i'm pretty sure we just die. so if anything, we play jackpot and hope to get a zero cost card that somehow
1:30:15 like we'll get nine block off of it and then a zero cost card that saves our life. it's alignment. actually alignment would have saved our life if we had some stars but shockwave gather light it wouldn't save you man. it wouldn't save you unfortunately. that's why we did the math and then said it out loud. it was a good try though. slash marker i guess two two