Nosy ahh census (Slay the Spire 2)

Name: Nosy ahh census (Slay the Spire 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-04
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Nosy ahh census (Slay the Spire 2)" (Slay the Spire 2) — 93 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-04Slay the Spire 2

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0:00 you would have quit or put your credit card info in years ago. years ago. transform, strike and defend, lose 12 max hp. you may ignore paths. you know what? i mean, neutron aegis not costing much energy actually seems pretty good, but we'll see.
0:35 not taking poultice handcuffs yourself? okay, first off, i did take poultice. secondly, i don't know what poultice is. tertiary, literally the only thing that matters as far as a... we mug you next turn. as far as an opening item is, the only thing that fucking matters, and i do mean the only thing that fucking matters... go ahead, hit me for one. ...is whether or not you get silver crucible. and if you don't get silver crucible, then, i mean, that's life, man. what do you want me to say?
1:13 ain't my fault. did he win? i had to poop? nobody tell him. punish him for his unavoidable bodily functions. gather light might be like an always take, man. although to be honest, an aoe card of any sort on act 1 also kind of goes crazy. i want to be able to play plating next turn if i have to. did you have a good poop? so i know like you're not talking to me, but i've been having the best poops lately, man. once i got back from vacation, i got back on the meta musil train slower than i should have.
1:54 but now that i'm back on it, it's actually, i cannot stress for you enough, even if you didn't believe me about the philips oneblade and you thought it was like a ghost sponsorship or something like that, the metamucil thing is not a bit. and it doesn't have to be metamucil. it could be any kind of fiber, i'm sure. and maybe psyllium husk, but the metamucil is readily available in like all grocery stores and pharmacies. it will save your life.
2:26 give me an astral pulse and then buy a card that generates stars for us. what are the odds we wouldn't get a single card that generates stars? you gotta be fucking trolling me, bro. wait, we have another shop though. fuck it, we ball. if you combine metamucil and frozen fruit and vanilla protein powder, you make the best frozen creamsicle smoothie. no disrespect. you sound exactly like my mom. in fact, i shouldn't even say no disrespect. i should say respect. you sound like one of the most important women in my life.
3:10 but that genuinely is kind of an insane sentence. it's an unbelievably mom coded sentence. i literally need stars. i don't know what you want me to say. like, i'm like nemesis the way i need stars. i can't take it, man. i mean, radiate kind of works, but we don't generate many stars. 35, 35? we might get a cheap star generator in here. fucking astral pulse, man. waste of my fucking time?
3:52 actually an insNLy valuable card to have played though. probably just eat dirt on turn one. get you... oh, we fucking... i could have killed one instead, but i'll kill one now. going to a shop with 35 gold is worse than picking three regent cards in act 2? okay, but what if i got a half price glow? what if it was that one time in history that there was the exact card i needed was in the shop and half price? you ever think about that? it could have happened, man.
4:31 stranger things happen every day. stranger things ended, bro. not soon enough. right? or are we actually fucking with that show? in which case i apologize. one, two, three... so you're a one star cost card that does 12 damage? i think we still skip it for now. i need to generate more stars. man, this is fucking insane. i'm gonna upgrade venerate.
5:33 now obviously i have to find a way to ruin your life. i think it's going to look like this. this is the fuck ass fish i'm remembering now. you slurping the metamucil drink? don't call it a drank, okay? metamucil and lean are two different things. vtubers cover your ears. i'm drinking, i'm putting the powder in the water and i'm going... and i'm scowling like a bartender at a bar that sells mojitos when you order a mojito.
6:15 by the way, a new ragebaits subreddit dropped that i did not know about, but my discord let me know about it. are you guys familiar with r slash barista? i don't want to put r slash barista 2 under the gun because what happened is that my chat was telling me instead of ordering a shaken brown sugar iced espresso, shaken brown iced sugar espresso, can i get a... y'all take a grande... i've lost the word order. i've lost the word order. i've lost the word order. a shaken
6:52 ice brown sugar oat is spread an ice brown sugar oat shake and espresso. anyway, long story short, you can actually just order a shaker radio, which apparently will get you that at any coffee shop. it's not proprietary to the starbucks publicly traded corporation on the new york stock exchange. but then i googled it and there was an r slash barista post that like was like is anyone else getting sick of shaker radios and it was like an essay. i have to give some respect.
7:22 to the r barista crowd because literally every single comment in the thread was like uh if your cafe sells shaker retos just make the drink and don't cry about it and i was like damn this is baristas are actually like holding the economy together single handedly
7:42 the reddit discourse used to be, i fucking hate it when someone comes into my bar that advertises that we make mojitos and orders a mojito. or even worse, customers that were like, i'm not like other customers. i won't order a mojito at the mojito bar. i order a caperina instead, which is just as much work, but gives me the moral high ground. brother, i think you have to take a stab at void form.
8:22 forge 15, huh? have they ever made like a worse potion than this? no, wait. have they ever made a better potion than this? i do, i have seen girl dinner diaries.
8:54 but i'm now, i'm living the most annoying life of all time, which is i've become one of those people who believes that everything is fake online. but the thing is, i actually believe that everything is fake online now. the reason is that when i was like 21, i was like, man, people got a lot of crazy stories. there's a lot of like, there's a lot of interesting people out there. now at age 37, i'm like, if you were, if your boyfriend was like your boyfriend of
9:23 11 years, found phone number in jean pocket of boyfriend of 11 years. you wouldn't be like i'm gonna go on reddit and post a picture of pizza rolls. you would be like, i'm gonna be fucking depressed. like i'm gonna go lay in bed and like watch some shit. you wouldn't be posting, i would like to, maybe i'm wrong on this one, but i would like to think you wouldn't be out there just like posting it for karma immediately or something like that. you would be beating his ass red with a frying pan or something. i'd have to imagine.
9:59 don't even get me started on this guy, man. must be done. honestly, man, could be the move. we're gonna get him. we're gonna get him. it ends your turn? are you mad i didn't play like radiate for zero or whatever? we're gonna make it, man. okay, we literally are gonna make it and he's gonna give us the best relic of all time. what would the best relic be? i don't know, just give it to me. okay, he literally did give us the best relic of all time.
11:29 no combat please? ahhh! that's combat bro. umm... you're doing no damage. i think we gotta save a little bit of stars so that we can play plating. if we play plating, everything's fine. this guy's a pain in the fucking head though. well, like this is literally better. it's gonna be rough. you're literally fine? i mean he's still like...
12:31 it's kind of annoying me. like he's taking me very low on hp. i think i have a reasonable case to be mad. loving the stubble, brother. thank you for saying that. this is my new normal though, is shaving on friday and not getting really... not to be the most annoying person in the world, but shaving on friday and not getting another chance to shave until the next friday. but it's okay. it's all right. it's not stubble though. i really don't like it.
13:05 i mean it looks okay on the camera, it doesn't feel good. i'm very much like, i'm leaving it to beavercoder with facial hair man. i know exactly what i want to do on this turn by the way. takes 30 seconds with the one blade. nah man, i forget where i mentioned this so i apologize if you're hearing this for the second time. but as i've gone gray, literally like it makes my facial hair have the exact coarseness of like steel wool.
13:57 so like the one blade, it does what it can and i appreciate it for it. but like as i try to like especially like the neck is okay, the cheeks are fine and the top of the head and the sides of the head are okay. but the back of the head and right under the chin and then like the corners where your jaw meets the neck is really tough man. stop with this. this is huge. mogged.
14:42 the chin especially, man. 24 damage. we're fucking dead, man. maybe because of that turn where i had three energy left, died by one. but that's okay! i'm win lose win lose win lose. so we come back and we win. doesn't it come with that special blade that cuts stubble? are you a real shaver? this is another thing i have to point out. a lot of you are out there thinking you know shit about shaving, but you're not shaving with the same constraints that some of us are shaving with. i have steel
15:21 spikes coming out of my face if you have three wispy little hairs and you're like my blade cuts it just fine yeah, bro. i'm happy for you. we're not we're not supposed to be having the same conversation man are you gatekeeping shaving hair buddy?
15:38 if i didn't have male presenting nipples, i will pull this shirt up right now. but because i do, i would get banned. you don't know what the fuck you're... i got a sleeper build when it comes to hair, let's put it that way. the visible area, not that much hair. the not visible area, there's a reason we got two dyson's, let's just put it that way. they will never give you... actually, this isn't that bad, we'll take greed. i don't like seeing a shop that's four nodes away, but that's okay. cracked out uncle, if you know what i mean.
16:22 public enemy number one, understand? ac dc, didn't you get it lasered? see this is how i know you're not real hair havers. magrassa, back me up here. the laser, you have to get it done multiple times. i still need to book the second appointment. but the problem is, to book the second appointment, i have to shave my back. and last time, shaving my back was fucking annoying, man.
17:03 first appointment was months ago. i mean, i'm not trying to be annoying, but i genuinely have been like, busy and my life has been fucked up. q1, q2 has been a very interesting start to the year so far.
17:29 also, what's taking me out is you don't understand. you're saying too busy to get your hair lasered off? i don't get it. you're doing the thing. if i got my hair lasered off, you would be using that as an excuse for why i'm not busy. you would be like, oh, you're busy and yet you had time to go get your back hair lasered off. see, you've got it fucking reversed, man. correct. okay. so i've sussed you out. i proved myself your intellectual superior. now bow down.
18:02 watch montreal versus tampa? i wish man. i checked the score in the morning and i said, yay! what is steady? card gains retain? wait, okay. 99 gold for two cards to have retained seems awesome. now if snake bite gets is good because of retain, what would we want to have retain? probably this either venerate
18:41 no, probably things that cost stars so we can play them when we have the stars. full stop, so that we don't dead draw them when we're starless. it's a chosen cheese situation any day of the week. i'll add a clumsy for a relic. the relic was whetstone, but that's the whole scheme of things that ain't that bad. cut the curse. i don't think we want juju bracelet with chosen cheese. we actually wanna do combat.
19:24 lee's waffle is pretty good, but man, i'm a black hole guy, man. i mean, astral pulse is really good too. black hole is so important. i love hole too, brother. no you don't. you love the idea of it. i'm marching to the beat of my own drum on this one. i do want an astral pulse, but we need more stars before we add it to the deck. nah, add it and get the stars later. and then go straight into venerate again. we're gonna need it. holy fuck, we get there. holy fuck, we don't get there.
20:30 that stings. friendly reminder to complete your census. yeah, thank you stats canada. thank you for saying that. i was kind of stunned. i've become that age where i saw the ad on tv about the census and i went, that can't be, it can't be time for the census. i just filled one out. oh shit. five fucking years ago. my bad y'all. it's true. i will say
21:10 you work for stats canada. i think stats canada is cool. i love going to like the wikipedia page for a neighborhood and finding out what percentage of it is catholic. that, i think that's, that's really interesting information. and then nodding my head and going, yeah, yeah, that seems about right. uh, that's about what i expected. but you guys are really nosy. you're asking a lot of questions that like cut right up in your business, man. i could have told you that.
21:47 for real, dude. maybe or whatever. 9 damage. i need to i even doing 9 damage doesn't let me kill you a turn faster, but i'm thinking very long term on this one. you have to be weakened. still gonna take 2 turns, which is pissing me off. this does enough damage to ge oh, it's gonna fuck you the fuck up next turn, motherfucker! star potion regal pillow might be exactly what we need, man. and then finally, a star generator.
22:34 i'm honestly, i'm not gonna do question marks. i'm gonna believe in the chosen cheese. reddit ass relic, but you know what? burning blood clears, man. i need some damn blocks. next turn, gain energy and star, retain your hand this turn. i'll give it a try. i believe. you killed, is this the one you kill first? i feel like it's four, one, three, two. oh, brother. okay, i mean, it still went pretty well.
23:48 what's next on the watch list? great question. the answer is i don't even know until i get on the bike to be honest. this morning i watched golden balls. i needed something a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit less kino. i watched too much peak in a row. i could feel myself being like, like i'm, i'm, i'm kind of peaked out. like i got to the top of the mountain and i'm like, it's like if you got to the top of everest, you would look at k2 and be like, that's not even that tall.
24:21 so i had to walk it back a little bit. you retain? you might as well play it anyway. so i watched something a little weightless. i'm sorry, like i wish i could. i'm not gonna spend four bike rides to watch castration movie. that's one that's gonna have to wait until i find myself with like a five hour window. it's just, four bike rides for one movie is really tough. two on drive my car.
24:58 i could, i could do drive my car on a 180. but it's just, it's what, here's why, instead of pitting two bad bitches against each other, why don't we just all take the opportunity to dunk on television instead? and i'm gonna get a lot of minus twos here, but i'm right, so i don't care. do we have to use a potion here? no, we don't. the pit is good, full stop. but it's really tough to justify watching a whole season of the pit.
25:32 when one season of the pit is like 600 minutes, which could easily be at a minimum five movies, five different movies from different directors, from different perspectives, from different genres, etc., etc. it's a one day binge. no, motherfucker, 10 hours of television is not a one hour binge or a one day binge. let's not be glib. that's obviously insane.
26:05 wait, are we gonna smith or are we gonna... go ahead, be mad. we rest cuz this guy, uh, he has a dead man switch on him. save this, play it next turn for the weakness. we play the falling star and then we bring it on back. but really, more than anything else, we need to beat that ass. we'll beat the ass thusly. you'd really fuck with yee yee? i've seen the haircut in grand theft auto, i don't know. give me a city of stars, man.
27:19 first i've ever heard of it. i've never heard of this movie yeey. does it have anyone from twin peaks in it? no? that makes sense, i guess. well, no, it wouldn't surprise me. i'm kind of getting up in that ass, man. definitely a falling star plus. i would like a meteor strike, please. i would like a meteor strike on act 2. look at me talking like act 1's already in the books. kind of is. nicest thing anyone's ever said to me in this fucked up world, man. also, an x star's payoff card would be kind of awesome.
28:22 bring back a good block, which we do not have. just remember i need to finish watching rental family. legitimately good movie that i wanted to hate because i think it would be cool to hate it, but i couldn't hate it. i found it very charming. whenever you attack an enemy, it loses one strength this turn, but very tough to play. 18 damage. did you already discuss the kanye asshole picture? that could describe so many things.
28:59 that could describe so many different... it could be a picture of a person, it could be a picture of a body part. it's literal. like i'm guessing his butt didn't take the picture. 10 block. if this is on top of your draw pile, play it. i mean, none of these cards do what i want them to do, but 10 block for one i can live with. at the start of each combat gain six stars. yeah, man. yeah, i can live with that. and then... 7 block and a colorless?
29:51 they'd rather get the bulwark for free. they don't have a cow. we have a bulwark. kingpin. how do you know what cadence and resistance to use if you're not doing a class? uh, it's simple. if there's other pelotoners, you just go a little bit faster and a little bit harder than them. that's all you need to know. hey ryan, in overkill by men at work, is he thinking about the implications of not being able to sleep or is he
30:29 which is causing him further unrest or is he thinking of the implications of something unrelated that causes him to be unable to get to sleep? i think overkill is a song about the it's a double edged spear of anxiety. i think it's about like he's saying he knows everything's going to be okay but he can't stop worrying regardless which is actually making his life worse actually manifesting the very thing that he was worrying about in an attempt to avoid.
30:57 so i think he can't get to sleep because he thinks about the implications of what if everything that could go wrong does and it goes bad as wrong as possible, which is actually leading him to have a lower quality of life as a result in a bit of an ironic self fulfilling prophecy so to speak. check this out. i am invincible on top of the draw pile. oh, 10 block for free on a turn where i didn't need any block. yeah, yeah, i'm thinking it's peak. i think we got enough stars to play a gamma blast.
31:52 literally, you don't need cosmic indifference. there you go. this fellow is gonna piss me off though analyze the lyrics to closing time next i saw that clip from fleets where that that gen x couple who makes i don't even know what to describe it. they make a
32:23 parodies of popular songs, but all the parodies are about being middle aged. it's all about like, instead of cleaning out my closet by eminem, it's always like, i'm taking out the garbage and they hold like a garbage bag, like right into the center of the frame. and they do a podcast and the crux of the, yes, the holdernesses, thank you. and the crux of the podcast gimmick was like, we actually listened to the lyrics of
32:50 songs that we were singing in the 90s and they played semi charm life by third eye blind and they go doing crystal metal lift you up until you break you don't stop and they go what uh? is this song about crystal meth yeah, bro he says the words crit doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break it came out 30 years ago we can we how long are we gonna do this bit man? i?
33:22 i'm not saying you should have figured it out the first time you heard the song, because the first time you're just going doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo and then like every other time you're going doo doo doo doo doo doo doo but like can we not be pretending that at like age 48 you're like shocked by the revelation that the song's about crystal meth when the dude says it's about crystal meth? and who is watching this man? and also it's not about crystal meth, it's about having sex on crystal meth.
33:56 so people think it's like a song that's like, oh, isn't it kind of surprising that this like poppy song is actually kind of dark? no, it's not, bro. i'm pretty sure the songs about how fucking on crystal meth feels good. i have, i've never done it. i've never done crystal meth, but it seems like for the most part, he said he's having a pretty good time until he breaks. at least the friends are good for us. cut a strike. do we play a power? do we have it? we have one power.
34:34 i think permafrost is kind of underrated, man. maybe i'm a freak though. i want to try guessing the song but i'm scared to be wrong. it's not your fault. it's a millennial classic. third eye blind's semi chump kind of life. baby, baby, i should have played my defense instead of generating ten stars, baby. well, this is fucked up. in my head, i was literally like, maybe we need more stars. bro, you have ten stars.
35:36 you need to pay the iron price. iron price paid. next, you're gonna pay the iron price. except you're... you're gonna pay the iron price. because i'm gonna use a potion to kill you. anyway, yeah, sorry if i ruined your childhood. i'm pretty sure that song's about crystal meth. source, i made it up. there's a lot of stuff i see on fleets where i'm like, who's watching this?
36:15 and then it turns out some of them the answer is like eight people and i'm like that checks out but then sometimes it's like tens or hundreds of thousands of people and i'm like oh my god i had no idea. iron's literally like a hundred bucks a ton that can't be true. chat, chat back me up here. iron must be more expensive than that. that seems way too cheap. it's like five percent of the crust? yeah it's rare it should be expensive.
37:06 that's not what we're saying. reflect could hit for us here. they get you on the shipping? don't even get me started, man. i know the tariffs fucked up on that. still need better blocks. for such a thin deck, my blocks are not all that. what the fuck, it genuinely is $100 a ton? guys, we should make a run on the iron market. also, i'm sorry. there's some shit you read on the internet where i'm like, uh uh, i don't buy it.
38:00 you ever see that post that's like if you took all the gold that's ever been mined in human history it's still like it's the size of one of the pyramids in egypt? i'm sorry that's just not true. the pyramids are big but like they're not they're not as big as all the gold that's ever been mined. all the gold has ever been mined is definitely way bigger than that. 100%. i did the math. listen okay don't be naive it just doesn't pass the smell test is what i'm trying to say. six maybe seven pyramids? see now you're talking.
38:42 how is it possible that this is the worst draw that's ever existed in human history? your nostrils are broken. nostrils are fine, bro. not never been better. honestly, nostrils never been better. you think all the shits you've taken in your life would fill a van? i'm gonna be honest with you. i think all the shits that i've taken in my life might be bigger than one pyramid. and i'm like running the numbers in my head right now to see if that's possible. but i just feel like i've been alive for what, like 15,000 days or something like that?
39:24 would not surprise me if i have shit enough to fill one of the great pyramids of giza. literally no chance. how big is the great pyramid of giza? it's what, like 200 feet tall? it's about as tall as guardians of the galaxy cosmic breakout. bigger? no, they couldn't have built it back then. don't be naive. for some reason, i thought we drew cards with that. because i can't read.
40:10 how about this, then this? and then we just kill you and not worry about it all that much. okay, this is actually awesome. wait, but resonance could go insane for us. oh, but royal gamble reminds me of the royal scan. you would need 320 pounds of poop per year. i'm being so real right now. if you ask me how much the average person pooped per day, i would say one pound. is that crazy? is that like 10 times more than the average person poops?
40:50 i feel like a pound of shit a day makes a lot of sense. i've done two pound poops weighing myself after. yeah, well it's not apples to apples though because like you sweat a lot when you poop too. you lose a lot of water out of your pores. 125 grams to 500 grams a day? bro 500 grams is over a pound! i was in the right ballpark! i was in the ballpark at least and everyone else is just saying go to a doctor.
41:28 go to a doctor? what? the doctor that's gonna tell me, oh you're actually completely right about this? yeah, i'll go to the doctor. yeah, but every day i feel like a pound of shit is like not that much. the real answer is it depends. oh, shut up. it depends. oh, there's new nothing has nuance, bro. there's a right way and a wrong way. nothing's conditional. everything's immutable. the start of your turn.
42:09 deal damage equal to the turn number to all enemies. whenever you add a copy of a card to a deck, add one additional card. whenever you play an attack, gain a block. whatever, man. we love silent cards, folks. we love silent cards. escape plan is a very good card. i feel like afterimage is not going to be that crazy, but we already have good aoe. give me an afterimage. and then i think you skip this one. black hole.
43:09 venerate goes insane. oh, this is one of those turns where you just play every card, of course. why do you keep getting cards for other characters? i'd say because i'm the absolute governor. come off it. i said what i said. i said what i said. i might say it again. you're freaking out. you're acting like i said i'm rectangular or something like that. nah, man. i got holes. what do i want on top? what do i want to draw next turn? astral pulse is what i want to draw next turn. this is exactly what i wanted to draw.
44:23 and then a potion. you're done, lad. 25 card deck. i'm okay. that's what the question marks, kid. literally, i'm not even gonna hit you. wait, have i played? no, i'm not. i'm literally not even gonna hit you. i'm not gonna fill my deck with trash. temple of the dog is a good band. uh, chat get him. i'm gonna freeze you right there and hold a guiding star.
45:07 one album andys. i mean, i feel like that's being generous. i feel like i want to call them one song andys. and i also am not 100% sure that the song is even good. i think the song might be comical. damn dude. you don't like going hungry? or hunger strike? i like it as a time capsule of that time period in a manner of speaking.
45:47 i don't consider it a sacred cow of like the classic rock genre or whatever. it isn't classic rock. all right grandpa, let's get you back to bed. eight curses, we can do better. double it. we have a lot of cards that cost stars now. one, two, three, four, five, six. you do 18 damage for one star. i'd be happy, and actually you do a little bit more now that i think about it because you, uh,
46:37 because you also do three extra damage via black hole. horrible draw. embarrassing draw. you are gonna make me take six damage at the end of my turn. i can live with that. w escape plan. respect grunge. i respect grunge, man. i was at a birthday party for my daughter's friends. information that you're gonna require for this story. my daughter is five, so her friends are having like their sixth birthday party. one of the kids was wearing a nirvana shirt.
47:28 you know what? i looked at that and i said, respect. she loves good music. i would love to retain my hand, man, and then play a reflect later. i know some of you would have been crashing out. you would have been walking up to her going, oh yeah, what's better? was better nirvana unplugged or in utero? you would have been, okay, name the member of nirvana that's not kurt cobain or dave grohl. yeah, yeah, yeah. you don't know kurt novacek or whatever his name is.
48:01 i don't know him either, but i'm wearing the triforce shirt. i'm not the one wearing the smiley face shirt. take seven damage. you're my shining star no matter where you are. a strong man exists. they always do. they always do. say hello to heaven, buddy. w? no, not w. never mind. huge play. you know what people never say anymore? and it's sad. people never say genius pewds strikes again.
49:05 society's really lost its way. nobody ever said that? i can think of one fella who said it. did anyone ever say that? yes bro, obviously. yeah, mouth man. we gotta go one less energy though, it flicks me. it flicks me a touch to say. we may just fucking die. we want to draw. we? listen, okay?
50:09 22, how much damage? i'm taking 13. i literally live. i'm taking 13 damage, we go to 9, we take 2 damage, we stay on 7, you have 2 turns of vulnerability. i hit you for 13, i literally kill you next turn. we also didn't take, i didn't take afterimage into account. literally lived. we, we... dying star! 999 gold with a very close shop.
50:48 i've, if i may, i love fur coat, man. never having that, like you, if in a lot of circumstances, you can get through the final floor fighting like one enemy and the boss. the boss being the door maker, the easiest boss in the game. nah, i'm taking 999 gold because the shops went away. it's that simple. that's beautiful. when the cheese is chosen, it's a little less beautiful. we definitely don't need that back there now that i think about it, but
51:58 when was the last time you said, isn't that right, zack? well, i didn't know. nobody told me that social media superstar, orahack watches the dolls. i have to find out second hand through of all places, my discord. i have to find out through my discord that orahack is a dolls viewer when they've posted an edit of me as ned flanders talking about fantasy football of all garish pursuits.
52:25 so i would say the last time was on monday when i was talking about fantasy football and about how my quarterback room last year was so decroted because i had belief in anthony richardson and shidoor sanders and it probably cost me the whole fucking league. that was probably the last time.
52:43 well, the most recent time, certainly not going to be the last time. let's not go crazy. it became a pastime from a james reynolds. even better. dear sir, dear sir, you made the wrong sucker a cuckold. it's time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled and you can keep seeing my wife if the price is right or i'm telling your wife. you know what i'm talking about? that's hamilton, bro. context request. that's hamilton. yeah. that's lin manuel miranda. top three songs in hamilton.
53:21 i mean, i'd say non stop the final song from act one for sure. i'm a big fan of the schuyler sisters to be honest. i think it's just a great song. maybe helpless? it's a little normie coded but satisfied is good too. i'm gonna go non stop helpless the schuyler sisters right there. where's the next shop man? it doesn't exist. okay.
54:09 i'm not paying 200 gold to cut a strike. i'm not paying 200 gold to make my deck like 3.8% smaller. you'd have to be an idiot. but i will take a comet. skyler sisters shake it. so true. fuck it. i'll lose the astral pulse. so fine. he shouldn't have said so young, so young. tell me i'm the only. and what's crazy is that
54:46 eliza, i'm not sure you were the only one. i'm not sure eliza if you've seen the play. i've got some horrible news eliza. i've got some terrible news for you. you know what i'm talking about? this might sting a bit. yeah, kind of. fuck it bro. there comes a point you want to keep your deck small. if your deck gets too big, literally you just want to make it bigger. you pass a point of no return where it makes more sense to just make the deck get even bigger.
55:47 it depends. nah, you're thinking of old folks pissing. what am i gonna do? i'm gonna gain a bunch of stars. i'm gonna retain my whole hand. i'm definitely gonna reflect a little bit of damage back at the attacker, man. and then ruin your life? keep the star economy flowing. this is the worst turn i've seen in my entire life. this is a comically evil turn that they've done here. this one's also really bad. where's my rare that plays itself?
57:01 it was there! i didn't look! i didn't look closely enough. nah, nevertheless we're balling somehow. literally better for us to reflect than to play dying star, even if it is ethereal. yeah, this one might be over, man. huge. this is a regular enemy? motherfucker. i've done 40 damage to this guy. i'm sorry, that can't be true. save the reflect for the next turn, when everyone starts to hit. i am invincible.
58:19 i think it's going to be like reflect. we're already in an awesome spot. just cosmic indifference reflect back for the next turn ruin your life. that was it. that was a crazy turn. i'm once again asking if you've had the szechuan ketchup packets. a lesser streamer would go straight for the rick and morty jugular vein on that one.
58:55 okay, just so you know. but can i say something? i'm gonna say the whitest shit i've ever said in my entire life. and i did every single stream this week i've said i actually think the karen haircut looks pretty good. so this is really saying something. nah, i'm gonna be okay here. um, mauds. i think that i am allergic to szechuan pepper. as crazy as it sounds inconceivable, but i firmly believe it.
59:33 because every single time i have it and i love the flavor of it. i really do. i love the flavor of it it gives me dry lips for a week. i don't know what it is about like i even so like i went to heidi lau i ate the mala tong it fucked up my lips for like almost a month and i was like maybe i just got sick around the same time that i had the mala tong and then i went to big way the hot pot place like i
1:00:00 a month and a half later and i ate it and it fucked up the same spot on my lips again for like a week. this one's gonna, you're gonna find this insane. i went to earl's. if you're not familiar with earl's, it's like a up a gastropub chain, essentially. it's basically like button up shirt mcdonald's, right? and i got a szechuan pepper noodle, like kung pao noodle bowl and it gave me the same thing, man. i think i'm literally like
1:00:32 i'm starting to think i might not be chinese, i guess is the endgame. which obviously is pissing me the fuck off, but it's always the same spot too. eventually you could be immune. that's a good point, eventually. i just tough it out long enough, eventually i might be immune, but we were rooting for you? so people are genuinely like, come on man, don't say that. don't let your whiteness stop you from being chinese.
1:01:13 i don't know. well, one thing's for sure, more research is required. and fuck it, i might just keep eating it anyway, i don't know. take the peptides? i don't think that's gonna happen. play orbits, that's fine. i don't even know what a peptide is, to be honest with you. i mean, i know it's related to protein. that's guaranteed. i have a peptide guy in kits. i believe that 100%. also, that's not anti kitzilano posting. i love kitsilano.
1:02:13 but if you were to tell me, if you were to say, if the question on family feud was top four answers on the board, name a vancouver neighborhood where you could have a peptide guy, kids would be number one. and i ran through, i ran through them in my head. i genuinely think kids alana would be number one. north van would be number two. and i don't know, i was thinking, i was like commercial broadway, but i was like, no, no, no, no, no. like granville woodland, no, no, no. people aren't doing peptides out there. they're doing other stuff. i could see this doing something for us.
1:02:58 i go okay, also yaletown, yes. i can see i can see having a peptide guy in yaletown. give me 11 hp for a relic, man. anchor? why not? what the fuck? pen nib bag of marbles. now do you upgrade one card? yes, you upgrade one card that's worth more than 12 hp. what about the town with all the shit on the ground? isn't that a nicki minaj lyric? you're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye. some shit like that.
1:03:49 how'd you know that? super bass was pitchfork's number one song of 2011. well, this is obviously the worst turn of all time. can't draw, that's okay. black hole is core. venerate is necessary. reflect, pretty good. playing cards makes other cards more expensive. definitely want stars. stars do allow you to play something that generates weakness. i think that's important.
1:04:52 whenever you play an attack or skill, it's exhausted. okay. that's good because our deck is too thick anyway. go ahead, exhaust the cards. if i had good cards in my deck, i'd be playing them, man. i fucked up. or did i? maybe i did. i'm literally just playing all of my cards. so i'm going to go non verbal on this fight as i often do. great pen nib, holy cow. ever been to furry creek, north of vancouver? yes, twice last year! you've been to el stadio furico?
1:05:46 yes, i'm. you know what? let me retain my hand, bro. i always laugh when i'm en route to squamish and drive past furry creek. is that? the exhaust on that is nasty, don't get me wrong. play some basic defense. you know what? we need the stars from venerate. cosmic indifference and then bring back what do we want next turn. maybe just something as simple as a gather light. a reliable star regenerator, man. we only have 10 cards in our deck.
1:06:34 we have almost nothing that generates stars, which is not good. we have to be very precious about the star generating cards, or the star costing cards we do play. like it's kind of a gimme that you definitely want to block and reflect. and i'm going to say you don't play that because we need to keep our stars around, man. now whatever you play here gets exhausted. we have to kill you within like one cycle anyway.
1:07:23 so i think we definitely are okay playing a reflect. i don't know, it might be impossible for us to win at this point because i have no way to generate another star and then play my cards, which means i can't play my cards, which means i die. this is why you want a lot of cards during door maker. yeah, unfortunately, i don't know if you notice, you only know what the third boss is when you get to the third floor.
1:08:18 so it's kind of hard to plan for it before you...