hold the P (Counter-Strike 2)

Name: hold the P (Counter-Strike 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-20
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "hold the P (Counter-Strike 2)" (Counter-Strike 2) — 103 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-20Counter-Strike 2

Watch on YouTube ↗ Latest videos

103 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 ooh sealed dead hand terminal. oh shit 250 right 250? $2.50 i don't know what do you mean is that how much they cost? well why else would you be excited about it? i guess you could open it for experience. i'm opening it what if something did all right i thought maybe you wanted to get some like kikorage mushrooms in your ramen next time but i guess you'd
0:27 you'd rather get some 6 cent pistol skins or something. i think it's some blue m4 and skins. purple mp9, 32 cents. it looks like someone spilled the michaels on it. michaels? yeah, it looks somewhat like some random spray paint and nail polish. yeah. i think i'm gonna decline that as well. come on with you.
1:10 i say bmx bison or rmx. you sound like simon pegg in a darren brown youtube video. darren brown. is that the british mentalist? yes, it is. he's gonna like i'm talking to your dead husband type shit. no, no, no, no, no. he's the guy who will get you drunk on a glass of water. who was the guy who did like the bullshit? i'm talking to your dead relatives. that's crossing over with john edwards.
1:46 yes, yes, yes. i ain't even british. best of my knowledge. he's just psychic. that's true. john, john, the other john edward did crossover in like a marital vows sort of sense. double crossed over. oh, fuck. that's a super suspicious user. oh, wait. is it yeti? yeah, it's yeti.
2:14 yet he's yet i don't know if you're following the yeti saga. they got banned and unbanned so much in my chat. they're now marked as a suspicious user which means only mods and i can see their messages. yep. so only only you and me and magress maybe origin if they're here can see that message. i'm not being a nuke. forget that man. i have my band mirage. yeah. fuck that. that map right now.
2:46 don't be a nuke, man. nuke's good. you know in mortal kombat when raiden says i must consult with the elder gods? which move does he say that before? whatever, it's like a teleport. he has to teleport to like the astral plane of ragnarok or whatever it's called. is this the movie? he says it three seconds into any property that he's in. really? yeah, yeah. i just remember whatever he does when he... you talking about the liu kang bicycle kicks to the chest?
3:31 oh, maybe that's liu kang. doesn't he do some shit when he does like his like full body like push? i don't know about that. don't show that because he like he like goes like completely like get face down prone and like pushes you like flies at you. does he say some shit? i don't know man.
3:57 he has a crazy l2? yeah, i thought so. i don't know. you just make noise. who is your mortal kombat character in the arcades as a kid? sub zero. yeah, i mean, come on. freezing someone, walking over to them, crouching, uppercutting them into the air. felt good as fuck. also has like maybe one of the funniest fucking moves of all time where you just put a little puddle of ice on the ground and they slip on it. it's funny to you? that gets increasingly less funny the older i get.
4:26 it's still funny man, whatever. yeah, we need a montreal ice slipping compilation the kid kid is telling me what to do over here. i don't know what's going on. oh shit to me bro. they've disappeared where'd they get your king? yeah, be banana banana banana banana banana. okay, i guess they showed mid went banana i'll get them on the rotate. holy fuck. they're in our base killing our dudes, bro. whoa. nice. good pop 10 most satisfying video game sounds three more. oh
5:18 there's a couple that was on our team last time. who was on our team last time? say brown. good lord. i will say my teammate did like throw a bomb on me or a grenade on me. if that grenade had made it up banana. man, we would have been pretty good and live in a different universe man. guy who gets some 31 into 34 into but somehow is 100% headshot percentage. okay.
5:57 pretty good. this is the percentage of your kills that are headshots. i even the fucking odds with that frag grenade bro. shit. one cutting out. holy shit. we fucking got him. another one down there. said it's b it's b it's b it's b. okay, i've been killed. he got me off. i did have four house left to be fair but wake up.
6:56 corey, we like little slow to rise in the morning, little slow to rise but in the afternoon he peaks. the ego peaks in the afternoon. in the morning he's not his best. he wouldn't call him a morning person. night owl, i don't know. bro said that's sus. what, how bad we're playing? they've smoked me off mid, bro. seems like we partially spotted the bum banana. i'm gonna go there. yeah. take a shot.
7:48 okay, not a lot of communication happening with this team. okay, okay, okay. if you insist on i heard the dinks, where's the bomb? he's right here. i got shot in the back of the head by somebody. somebody someone to own up before i go into the vod. now my on my on my 3k i got shot in the back of the head by my teammate. they don't like to see a king king succeed. trying to keep our kings down no kings day here.
8:31 gonna make it hard to play chess or checkers. honestly, i think you're gonna end up with a lot of draws if i had to guess. it's purple. all right, purple, you're about to pay the iron price. huge flash. is that a decoy? it has decoy energy. it's decoy alt mid. he said some shit banana, he said. bombs near apartments. bombs apartments, yeah. this kid just keeps calling out b like every time. that's why we need context on the calls. we need util, util b, one guy.
9:23 here's my rule for call outs. if you see one guy, immediately say, lotsby. oh, one's ultimate near this bridge. okay. he's gotten the bomb. i've killed him and now the bomb is down here. there we go. he ran this time. he tried to hit an awp. oh, our boy's got an awp. he just missed. oh, that guy was missed too, man. yes. lots spawn. just see, i'm trying it on for size.
10:14 you only saw one? do i? i'm just looking at purple right now. you got it out for him, i hear. his mic is pretty awesome. i mean, he's like 12 years old. how good was your mic when you were 12? i didn't even have one, man. you're right. that's what i'm trying to say, man. why would you? so first i got scared by the chicken. i thought the chicken was a man. then i got scared by the man. i thought the man was a chicken. there's some banana as well. i got flashed by my own team. honestly, wouldn't be that bad if your team was hot. i was just hiding in church.
11:12 and this orson welles guy is going crazy. i'm a different kind of beast. oh, looking at, i was tabbed looking at the leaderboard instead of looking at the game. yes, yes, i'm bringing him down. yeah, yeah, yeah, this is going great. yep, yep, yep, you'll live, surely. the rare, like not save, but also not try to defuse round. very interesting. did you guys want to stack b? no, man, we don't.
11:59 no, we don't want to stack b. we want to have some people on each site. i concur with this. go, go, go, go, go. are you guys sitting down? i've got some distressing news for you. is it a? a couple of them may have gone in the direction of a. or at least showed mid. there's some banana. the bomb is down somewhere. or at least has been spotted. sorry, i'll get him off the rotate. i'll miss him off the rotate. throwing a grenade. incendiary out. i still believe he's there.
13:02 they're in spawn. oh shit. interesting. well, this is going pretty badly. it's going pretty terribly. you guys got a utility like a single molly or something. they're throwing grenades. they're being our teammates that are going to be them being the t sided terrorists. no, no, no. our guys. our guys. okay.
13:37 they're throwing shit, but they also have been flashing which also flashes our team right as the guys are pushing which i would argue is not the move interesting please don't body block believe we have one ultimate. i've been opt from spawn and i was scared terrible i got very scared. oh my god missed all my shots bucket. maybe that little kid is right me we should stack be i just don't understand how we're getting like
14:19 4v1 v4'd b. just need to put some some util on the banana. i think money is an issue. yeah, i think i have full save on this one. you full save? i'm going banana. i need to see firsthand how this is going wrong. maybe i'll buy one incendiary grenade. we could just chain our incendiaries essentially. what are you talking about? he threw man!
15:11 he's already in. there's an incendiary on the ground there you can grab. it's from my body. there you go, look at that. you did make it there insNLy fast, man. one in spawn. planted a. anyway, a that time. we're in ak here. heroic rotate. you might want to say your teammate is just doing nothing. i don't have kit, only we have time. your teammate threw it all the way for a famas, man.
16:16 hey, you know what they got one. most of we may have lost around but most importantly, our teammate got the ak. yeah. going banana again. mocked movement difference. try to keep up young pup. what the fuck? he's here. i need to see the replay. how do we have three people looking at the red dot and then like there's no shots fired for five seconds. yes, yes. no, no.
17:23 i don't know, one of our guys has like this play where they flash banana. yeah, they do drop the flash on like our own feet. like, yes. but i'm more like, i need to, from the mini map, i was like, we have three vision cones looking at one red dot. nobody was firing shots. i was like, i'm going to peek and surely at least we get a trade. but i just got, i just got one tapped with no retribution. good kill. good kill. we literally, we actually win this.
17:58 three and one. that's pretty good, man. three and one. yeti. are they doing something in your chat or my chat? my chat, just pretend you don't see it. all right, i'll do that from now on. yeti, please never do anything terrible, by the way. oh, if i have to deal with somebody going, like, look at this terrible shit that yeti did and there's like hours and hours of me going, nah, he's cool with me. like, it would be so bad, man. i don't want to go through that.
18:37 please be like a paragon of moral virtue or whatever. forever. it'll be honest y'all. oh, there is one banana. surprise, surprise. yes! there's three banana. i guess i should have known. you got this, kory. you still got this. oh yeah. it was just a honestly flash difference. that was a crazy good flash. nothing i could do there. yeah, you should be inspecting that.
19:24 of course he's not virtuous. he's banned all over twitch. yeah, but can i say he's banned because a lot of streamers are a little like self righteous. he's not banned because of moral failings, at least not yet. he's banned because of like, you broke the rules. the rules are there for a reason. oh, crazy, crazy. you know, he's back left. what are you doing, man?
19:58 you gotta defuse the he doesn't give a fuck, man. he doesn't give a fuck. really one tapped him through the smoke, huh? i got banned by apollo because after they died in pubg, i called them salt gray wolf. yeah, that's annoying. you got banned for what i would describe as a good reason, to be honest.
20:16 like you'd type something deliberately to make them mad and then you're like, well, they got mad. like what are you talking about? and also that must have been like years ago and you still think you're in the right which is crazy. that's so insane. also apollo's not they them okay there. he's asexual which is a different thing. it's a different thing. i'm still trying to tease it apart myself. i'm not the expert of it but
20:47 yep, yep, i knew that was coming. guys, there's their banana. banana? there's also that one right there, he got him. what the fuck? with a shotgun?! xm's kind of beast. i got... no, i got like head bopped, you know, like when you get headshot. you can hear my music on my xm radio! you can hear my podcast on your xm radio! you know what i'm talking about? everclear, i think.
21:19 can i just type it bro? we're down to eight. just try please, bro. we're down to eight. can you not just save the m4? can you at least give it a shot? it's two to eight, man. what are you waiting for? you gotta take a shot. i mean, i get it's 1v4, but you gotta do something. you're gonna get exit for eggs? oh my god. and they're there. oh my god.
21:52 why are you running? you're far enough away! that's the whole reason you were there! motherfucker, man! i think they're going in a different direction. that being said, i'm just gonna why would they, man? they just keep owning. how am i 8 and 10? i've been fucking feeding, bro. whatever. my bad, y'all. good advice. try not to injure your teammates. a little advice for you? try not to injure your teammates? okay, they're on site.
22:33 i mean they're up banana, they've made it. wow that was insane. that was unbelievable. they're playing with a lot of confidence right now. good shooting kory. he also swung and headshot me. honestly great target selection considering there were multiple targets. kept it on one that's big. holy fuck. where is it? buy it on set. oh!
23:35 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
24:35 that's right, a guy without the bomb, solo a. nobody else wanted 60 free damage, i guess? how much did you get? 60. 60? 60 damage, yeah. i took 97 to the head. i mean, literally, i will take a grenade over armor on round one any day of the week. there's no shot of vest that's doing 60 damage. i'll tell you that for free. i don't have the bomb when we run out. i'll nade banana. yeah, nade banana. nade banana literally will work. nade banana, run back to mid.
25:21 bro, what's the point of flashing if you're a hundred feet away from the flash? i did not have faith in my teammate there. we didn't run it back. we didn't run it back to mid after we threw the grenades up and down. that's alright, he's kinda owning. he's kinda swagging up for sure. this is crazy. it worked. is he teleporting for you? yeah, a little bit. yeah, i think that he just threw the smoke to trick you, man.
26:16 it's all right. it's better to be out of this game. if we all block that dude has been on our team twice in a row, you think it will not put us in a queue with him? all right. no, he was on our team last game and then he's on the other. he's on the other team this game. so we're ass. yeah. we're the guys he wants to block that. no, he wants to play us as many times as he can. because oh, that's true. actually. i'm gonna go a this time. smart idea, bro.
26:59 how do you know it's the same person? corey's on a radical communication strategy called not muting everybody and hiding all their names. corey's interfacing with a common man, and i respect it. i don't know how he lived. good shit. yellow has bombed now? called galil, baby. that guy had an op. yeah, i know, but i mean, i wanna be able to shoot more than one bullet at a time on the entry. there. library, library. does yellow stream? i just wanna talk.
27:55 i don't know what this 69 baby. i don't know what this guy said this little kid. i think was just like digging into the other teammates. we're talking about the kid who's 1907 hmm is he low is one one nine zero seven was that i don't know if that was the kid or not i was honestly wasn't paying attention to their names it is twice dan's rating which is insane, but where is he we gotta get him back?
28:32 he's probably training at a secret compound in lithuania right now. he's on, uh, whatever the opposite of traitors is? heroes? he's on, yep, he's on heroes. he's playing the guy with the horn rimmed glasses. he's doing the shaolin monk training that victor wembayama did in the off season. zero! what, did he get kicked in the knees like a hundred times? he's learning to, um, forego all material trappings and other such ego driven pursuits in this terrestrial life.
29:09 zero what's wrong? you know, the spurs gm was tweaking when he saw the interview with the shaolin monks that were like yeah, we had when be climb like a mountain pass with no harnesses on and you're like bro that's our number one draft pick. like we got hundreds of millions of dollars riding on this kid what do you mean you put you took him up in the dan him himalayas with no straps on but he fucking made it down man he made it down. i gotta admit. i
29:40 i did just have like an image play in my head of a really tall lanky guy falling down a hill and it was kind of funny. i was picturing him like floating down like with the grace of a feather touching upon the ground. i pictured it like, i don't know, like a stick bug falling. i don't know, like really stiff limbs everywhere. he's like paul bunyan in my head. i don't even know what does he look like? victor wambayama, he's the most unique looking man that's ever existed.
30:20 he's like 7 foot 2. i guess what i meant is like is he like is he like a sean bradley 7 foot 2 or is he like a shaq? i don't know what that means. because victor wambayama is like 20,000 times more famous than whoever sean bradley is. he was just a tall white guy back in the day. did he play basketball or did you go to school with him? yes, yes. you know like back
30:52 back in the day it was like every season one team would pick a seven foot guy. it's like how long are they gonna last? there's only been like a few that have lasted. what is crazy is that they actually like... whenby proved me so right because for 15 years i was like why don't they just have the tall guys learn how to shoot three pointers.
31:15 and then people are like, oh it's impossible. the kinematics are so different. it's literally taller. it's harder to shoot the taller you are. and then this one kid from france is like, oh wait, i'll do it. fuck it. it's also, i mean, it's just a, it's just a fucking basketball. it's not a 3000 pound weight. like it's just a basketball. even if it don't matter what it'd be easier if you're taller. you're just shooting a ball, man. it doesn't like... the only thing it's easier to be if you're shorter is a bodybuilder because you do like three curls and all of a sudden you're like fucking yoked.
31:44 built like donatello, man. pardon me? like a wrestler? yeah, sure, wrestler or like a jockey or something. yeah. that's not jackage, man. we got ghetto slurpee on our team again. green was on our team last game. ghetto slurpee star, that is what you are. put it in your car when you're coupled are. drink away with me to another place.
32:17 did you get the kpop demon hunters meal yet? kate did yesterday. so did i. she got the, what is it? devil sauce? i don't know. there's two sauces. can you ban anubis for me real quick before i have the worst day of my life? thank you. thank you. this is what happens when nobody votes. nobody votes all of a sudden. everyone's like, why the fuck are we playing overpass? sweet chili sauce. all the motherfuckers who stayed home are going who the fuck voted for overpass.
32:55 it was really not... it tasted like slightly spicy honey mustard. they touched honey mustard with a jalapeno. i gotta say they're phoning it in on the sausage lately, man. they gotta do something more superlative for the next collab meal. it was funny though, we each got a meal and we gave the cards to our niece. then i was like, out of curiosity, i wonder what people are selling these for on ebay.
33:23 pro people are selling them for like $80.00. like a card from mcdonald's happy meal. people are buying them for $80.00. i guess i just don't... are they selling? like they're also... they're not just listed? yeah, yeah. there were some that were sold. i mean, the selling prices are all over the price, but i saw an $80.00 and like a $40.00 credit. i just don't understand why they wouldn't just go to mcdonald's and get it for like... i think because it's only in north america maybe? damn, so they're paying shipping on top of everything. yeah, yeah, yeah. i did say price, all right?
33:55 cuz i was thinking price and place and i combine them. it's crazy the best sauce is still barbecue after all the sauce based innovations. i don't like barbecue. i think barbecue is heavily underbought right now. i'm a honey mustard guy. they don't even have honey mustard at mcdonald's nephew. yeah, they've hot mustard. hot mustard completely different flavor profile. okay, here i'm saving i'm smoking loud. i'm coming by a duct. that was a great shot. i can't be mad about that.
34:46 scoops kind of went crazy with it on that one. oh, he was on the other team last game. fuck. fuck. we gotta wait before we queue. i don't even know where you cover if you're not covering a. like what are the angles on b? b, good answer. good answer. are these guys watching pornography? really? into his mic? what the fuck was that? sean combs? sean combs on our team?
35:27 thinking it's not an a. oh my god, they're long! they're not a b. are the batteries getting dome? yeah, i don't know, man, this is crazy. way too sensual for a cs mic. youch! my cornea is... bathroom, i think? too long. i'm just bad. oh, fuck off, bro. damn, look at this. he's got to fucking deal with the devil. pp bizoom, man. he's got constantine's gun. do i need some perp sauce?
36:16 you don't have to dignify everything with a response. if you're impressed with the sauce, you should try like any other sauce. i do not like playing a. i don't like playing overpass at all. i feel like the fucking average voter fucked us, man.
36:39 no, constantine is not the best keanu reeves movie. this shit is fucking disgusting, man. the matrix is obviously keanu reeves' best movie. if not the matrix, we could have a conversation about maybe speed. one lung? two lung? certainly we'll be looking at a here. bathroom. one more bathroom. let's die tonight. green! i thought green also was covering me a little bit. long, long, long. it's time to move.
37:21 great, i thought the p90 was gonna do it man. damn, i really did zero. i don't care what the critics say, constantine is fun. yeah, it's a classic like people who watch movies for a living think it's bad but like dudes who watch two movies a year are like why does everyone hate this? no disrespect. would make a crazy double feature with the nice guys. what are we buying here lads? steagle, great minds think alike. what about point break? point break is an amazing movie.
37:58 i was crashing out. no, they shall remain unnamed, but there was a vaunted member of the peloton discord that said they loved point break. and then i didn't recommend hard boiled to them, but they watched hard boiled the next day and went, i had to tap out halfway through. this movie was just too much for me. i went, what the fuck? the guy who loves point break but doesn't like hard boiled? we contain multitudes, bro. that's all i'm trying to say.
38:32 cover me i'm making noise. okay. oh, okay w play corey w play core you want this aka i want about i love i love the mp said here i get that shit's a yellow. i took the walk to poland. they deserve it or he seems like a big michael mann guy. i
39:09 i can see that, i could see corey's favorite michael mann movie being heat and then maybe like having the insider a close second. i could see corey like but i could honestly corey no disrespect you strike me as the kind of guy who gives like miami vice a two and a half stars. lots of b, i hear b. here's the last, whatever. i have no idea where to cover. he's there, he's on me. he's on the spot that i said i don't know how to cover so i unscoped and lost my off for no reason.
40:07 corey strikes me as the kind of guy who gave super bad of five stars and book smart two star for sure. yeah. i don't know what books market is. he did not give he did not give a nora a one. he gave it i think he gave it a two and a half or two. it deserves a one does not deserve a one. that's a little insane. you're putting a little bit of evil on sean baker with that one. oh, one low connectors squeaky.
40:52 i got two, three bathroom. yellow, you're fucked, bud. never mind, he's awesome. never mind, he's fucked. why was the first 30 minutes of inora just porn? it's not porn. it's two adults having sex. that's not porn. is everyone stupid? don't blame them. they grew up in a time that was so open it became like puritanical. life is full of contradictions.
41:38 you can do this. you heard him? he was on fire. bro was on fire. he's valid for that one. i'm with you on the xm bro, let's do it. alright, i'm gonna play b this time. let's do this perp. where are you holding with that awp, young pup? kinda crazy with it. you till mid? i don't know if they threw a decoy b. no, there's um, okay we fucking lost a hugely.
42:37 hate that. we lost a more terribly than i've ever seen it lost. you heard them? yeah, i also saw our opera got fucking blown away so i was trying to cover him. w corey, w corey. corey's gonna win this for us. he's gonna win this for us by revealing the enemy's position. he was here right behind the truck. no, no, no, it's a hard right. really funny that you watched the nora on the peloton. true cinephiles find a way, man.
43:29 i don't know why the average person who watches movies these days is like, i love movies. that's why i've only seen four of them this year. there's like an only watch them on 35 millimeter in the theater, unbothered. what the fuck? and it ruins the film for me. if anybody else pulls out their phone, you never watch in theater. oh really? so no other choice is a joke to you? there's a middle ground between that and your phone screen. okay. fucking you watch a movie and put out 1200 kilojoules in 90 minutes.
44:06 then leave a fucking drool review on letterbox. tell me. love that. love to hear that. don't put i can't because i beat you in the argument. there's a dude right there. okay, you got him. that wasn't you by the way, you're orange. it was by me? no, no, no. it was by the other fellow. i wish i made up a guy who beat in an argument. no, it is east of eden.
44:45 i'm not losing an argument to someone who's in pre chat, especially when i know they're in their 30s, okay? it's just not gonna happen. now that's a cop. literally, why is it... why does having an op make my nose so itchy, bro? we faded one on rock. only one left. bombs down rock long. we run these streets. oh, we run these streets, bro. when was the last time you changed your mind? the last time i was presented with new information.
45:41 next question? hey, found out you got a 10 incher. mmm, i wish man. oh, wouldn't mind having a little extra but 10 incher is probably a little too much. jiro, you're really starting to piss me off, buddy. you got serious beef with your cat, man. damn, we're fucking owning them, man. who's got 10 inches now? party? you're right, he's up in party. come on, green. you don't have to push him.
46:37 oh shit, i saw him. motherfucker. no. oh my god, it fucking hit me. it's still hitting me. it's still hitting me. the flames are spreading. what do you think lads? we got to try. whoa, every time. they don't know the utile emits a pheromone that makes them pq. i'm going to start using that to my advantage.
47:30 it's like when you put deer urine on yourself when you go hunting. yeah. ever been hunting kory? no. me neither. i don't think i'd have the stomach for it. i don't agree with it. all quiet, man. i'm with you, fella. bad trade? op monster. monster's big tunnel? with the monster's mouth? yeah, yeah, yeah. crazy angle. monster had op.
48:38 no, it's true. you can't use the criterion channel on the peloton screen. i mean, there's all we've covered this many times. what's crazy to me and kory, back me up here. people who don't watch criterion channel and who don't go on the peloton go, here's a way to improve your workflow. meanwhile, me, the stoic peloton and criterion enjoyer, just minding my own business talking about how much i love the newest orson welles movie that i saw is like, well, you're valid for that, but here's why it's wrong. okay?
49:02 for one, you don't get criterion channel on the peloton. take that up with peloton's highly paid software engineers. secondly, if you do have an entertainment ride, the entertainment ride doesn't let other people join you. we would lose the community aspect of the peloton discord. you have to do a, well, you could do a class, but we do scenic rides so that we can have multiple people on the same ride and all give each other high fives. ooh, good eyes.
49:37 oh my god, we did it everyone's on swift already. yeah, but this with theirs i don't know if they even ride that much man because all i ever seen the peloton discord is like that the trainer road ai told me is supposed to be a rest day today and who am i to argue? if chips backing me up then you know, it's real this chip and i are beefing over minnesota sports right now. oh
50:14 kory, i just lost hearing in my left ear. oh no. no, it's back. it's back. it's going eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
51:08 this guy, man, i can't handle it. he's genu posting. he had the demon sauce yesterday. oh, it is a one dust game. i was watching the angle the whole time and missed the one time. no, he's valid for that. that's the mii classic. this is fucking funny, man. it's last round, bro. let's do this. oh, shit, that's a dirty fucking viewport, bro. never mind. we own him? sounds like he's monster. my legs?
52:05 you can do it. oh, what are you doing? literally would have made it. literally would have made it. that's insane. what are you doing? bro, double scoped on the bomb? like for what? for what purpose? oh, it's fucking funny, man. oh, it's funny. double flash monster p250 rush. i gotta uncross my legs and sit the fuck up.
52:53 your legs crossed? i had my legs crossed that whole round. in a herman miller? yeah, yeah, yeah. monster. here we go, double flash. 4e my king. you guys using burst? uh, yeah, last, last. lowering heart rate. save round. you can't waste all your bullets. you knew i was coming, huh? why is everyone on burst? the bro is immune to bullets, have you noticed this? same plan. enable swag mode. oh, that's my fucking problem. i need to enable swag mode.
54:09 corey fits corraldo or burden of dreams and be so fucking dead ass with me. you've seen it? the one of the two i can pronounce. i didn't know the first one you said. i don't know if it's corraldo bro. it's burner hertzog man. klaus kinski type shit. not bad player. yeah, that's unfortunate. we got an angel in heaven. you're alone. shit. four of us died. yeah, flashed.
55:03 everyone's saving, huh? what are we gonna do? well, yeah. not really saving, i'm just broke in a manner of speaking. oi well. guy from puma man is in fitzcarraldo. w information, but also this is your brain on the angry video game nerd. nothing long. yeah, we should all stop with pistols. a long pick. holy fuck, what just happened? you activated. one guy there, right side. i got some damage on him.
55:55 he fucking owned me with an ak. w reload. it was a crazy, crazy deagle shot. one of those shots, i swear it to you, i didn't even see him. yeah, you love those. my brain just went, there he is. yeah, yeah, yeah, those are the best. god damn. bring me some higher love. okay, what happened? i don't know, i don't know.
57:18 give me a knife or gloves. it's the knife or gloves that i've been. i got dreams in my head and they don't go. what is this guy doing? spirits in my head and they won't go. i got so bad. hate this stim. it's not a stim, it's a really good song. pack one, pick one, sad eyed lady of the lowlands or visions of johanna. what do you think, kory? pack one, pick one, repeater or the argument?
58:08 argument. i'm taking 13 songs but no disrespect to you. i didn't give that as an option. fuck it is scalp time. 38 kills on this beast. we're elevating this beyond the typical counter strike stream. the typical counter strike stream is like connector and that's it. that might be all you get for like half an hour man. i lit one long there's two coming long pushing you. i'm b.
59:02 you are be our bomb is party. a bomb is down party missed so bad. purple's got this purple's got this for sure. i'm ready for the next round. purple's got this for sure. swag. see 71 in one. i'm gonna give you your shit, huh? honestly, like i've played much worse rounds in this, but
59:42 never in history have i been more confident that we are gonna have a loss here. i think we have what i would describe as less than zero team cohesion. some guy on the other team just keeps talking, man. i think he only won his first game. librarian, as the record keeper, you have a responsibility to be honest. we won our first two games. in fact, the very first game, we were 13 0. and by we, i mean myself. corey was not here for that one yet. good kill. good kill.
1:00:24 he's playing connector. he's rotating. see now this is your typical counter strike stream. there's two by the way. well, there is. that blue. nice try situation player purple has led believe they've stopped receiving communications from the remote host. the blue name is made me think they were dead. the blue team color.
1:01:14 great time leave right before we're gonna just lose i don't think he left so much as like he literally felt his face get hot and said fuck this and like probably punched his computer and broke the glass and then right now his fist is stuck in the computer tower and he's like he's literally fucking being electrocuted to death right now. oh wait, he's back actually never mind. he's chill there's a ghost in the damn machine, bro
1:01:43 that's major kusanagi bro if i've ever seen one. i believe we have b right now. alright, i dropped bomb on playground in case you're curious. it's unfortunate. it's not major kusanagi, it's lieutenant kusanagi? yeah, majors. isn't major the last playground? oh never mind, you got him. yeah, it's major. who said that? can somebody figure out who said lieutenant? i want them
1:02:45 they were watching the movie on their phone. i bet they literally, every review of every movie they've ever seen on letterboxd says, uh, it was a little slow. yeah, it's pretty good, but it starts a little slow and the ending's a little weak. but there was about 45 seconds in the middle during the, during the action scenes where i thought this was one of the best movies ever made.
1:03:17 it's a disco elysium reference. for the last time, i haven't watched spongebob squarepants, okay? you can keep referencing it. it doesn't make you evil for referencing it, but i've never seen it. interesting. interesting approach. i mean, i'm bottom fragging, so i'm not gonna really take too much issue, but... i gotta... i gotta... they're talking too much. they're talking... i'm afraid something's gonna drop them. something's... i'm afraid something's gonna drop... you ever realize like... you ever wonder how much better...
1:04:01 people would do in this game if they just took the knives away? oh yeah. the guy on our team told them to knife him. oh, okay. all right. yeah, the guy on our team told him to knife him and then told him to uninstall basically after. can you give me a couple minutes to feed this ravenous beast? i can. and i'll be right back.
1:04:31 i've muted kory so he doesn't have to hear the terrible news that i also have to leave early today because there's something going on at my daughter's school. it's out of, it's not his fault but i'm not gonna tell him that he can't feed his cats because i gotta leave early to go to my daughter's school but they are always making some stuff up. now listen, there's like a, there's good reasons for it most of the time. they are always like, hey can you swing by? they're always asking me to swing by at like
1:05:09 like a quarter after one. then you're like, does anybody work in this town? no, i'm the first person to push back and say quarter after one doesn't work for me. like that seems surprising to me because i have a very set my own hours type of job. i can't be the first one to be like, that's tough. that's a tough time for me.
1:05:42 i can see why you keep in game muted, they be saying stuff. people will be like, just let them say slurs so you can tell them the dude's on cat. buddy, i turned into an ex on cat. they should know. just look at the fucking mini map, bro. it's communicated subtextually via body language.
1:06:00 seriously, lamau? lyndon bass johnson, i haven't forgot about you thinking that you were in the right for getting banned from apollo's chat for deliberately baiting him. okay? forever. and it's literally not my fault. people will say i'm evil for remembering. it's literally passive. i have no control over it. you're the one who typed it, so it's obviously your fault. i can't not remember it. how can you tell someone that you can't tell someone to forget about it unless you're italian? that means i might as well go pee while corey's feeding his cat. he's muted. did he go?
1:06:55 but he went to piss. he just got up to pee as i got back. i should have pissed. i was like, i'm not gonna pee. he's gonna be waiting. go pee? no, i wanna be here. how concerned should i be that i haven't heard back from my mother after her portrait fell off our wall and broke this morning? what's up, kory? i knew you were back because i saw a bunch of munka s in the chat. so i was like, i know this guy's saying something right now.
1:07:54 what the fuck? it's an omen? i know i messaged her. i was muted y'all, my bad. yeah. call her? i don't know, i feel like a weirdo. what happened? i woke up to my mother's like, a picture of my mom fell off the wall and broke. yeah, okay. face down, glass broken. that's bad. i messaged her this morning and was like, oh how was the rest of mother's day? i haven't heard anything.
1:08:36 i don't want to be the type of guy to believe in that shit, you know? what'd you dream about last night? oddly enough, getting like a hundred thousand followers on twitch. isn't that sad? well, i wouldn't call any dream sad. it's more like how was your reaction? if your reaction was like, yeah! that's pretty sad. if your reaction was like, that ain't nothing to a beast like me, then that's kind of swag.
1:09:09 bad news for you. oh, no no, no, no did you sweet i don't know man. my brain was all fucked up. i don't know what i was dreaming though no, i hear that there's no consistency to like i'm telling the bc government to send out more amber alerts cuz like i remember my dreams when i wake up at 1 a.m. i
1:09:50 they should be sending out like an amber alert. i'm gonna say we need more two to five. i didn't say we need more child kidnapping so i just we need more amber alerts.
1:10:01 don't virtue signal to me. you woke up and said, i'm glad that they sent that out. i woke up and said, oh shit, i got my fucking kevlar vest on. i got in my car and started scouting around 14 hours away from where the supposed kidnapping took place, looking for a woman of average height with her two biological children. okay, we're not the same. i was out there combing the streets, buddy.
1:10:23 that was a call to action that we received on our cell phone. i was like, excuse me, have you seen a five foot four mother of two with kids that resemble her? here's her name by the way. the amount of pushback for me. just making a joke at your expense. this weird action movie you've made of yourself here. the government said we need someone with your skills and i said say no more david. broplay went man my leg itches.
1:10:52 no, i literally, i woke up, i saw it, it went and i pressed the button as fast as i could to dismiss it before my wife and child woke up and then went to reddit.com slash r slash vancouver to see if anybody else was posting about the amber alert. and then i saw that a bunch of people were like, yep, i saw it too. and then i went, yeah.
1:11:18 anyone else hate this fuck ass amber alert? okay, but like... anyone else see this? we should be able to criticize this one because they sent it out to the whole province and terrorist british columbia is 14 hours away via driving from vancouver. they gotta have some nuance on the geo targeting. otherwise, if this shit happens in san francisco, they might as well send an amber alert up to bc as well. there's gotta be some nuance.
1:11:48 i'm not saying never send out an amber alert, i'm just saying like do you have to send it out with the klaxon that's like you are all going to fucking die right now also is one in the morning and they couldn't possibly have made it to your location by now. that's true. and not to be the the other side of the virtue signalers, i'm sure some motherfuckers who were tired as fuck at work all of a sudden oh damn my my cardiologist is like i'm feeling a little faded today sorry i can't do your heart transplant like
1:12:20 not to be insane, like people wake up at night all the time, but like let's... to wake up five and a half million people, let's make sure it's at least relevant. oh shit. did you see the lightning last night? i heard the thunder, i did not see the lightning though. it's crazy. wow, it wasn't that crazy, but for out here it was kind of crazy. i've never seen lightning before. lightning, the type of shit that has people on r slash vancouver going like holy fuck. yeah, yeah. did anyone else see that?