Jaws is literally good, I gave it 5 on Letterboxd (Everything is Crab)

Name: Jaws is literally good, I gave it 5 on Letterboxd (Everything is Crab)
Uploaded: 2026-05-23
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Jaws is literally good, I gave it 5 on Letterboxd (Everything is Crab)" (Everything is Crab) — 98 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-23Everything is Crab

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98 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 wait one second. slash marker crab 2. i feel like you gotta play this game like the way you play pandemic. like you have to start with like a little like indetectable highly defensible pathogen and then once you like are unkillable then you get fucking crazy. then you get fucking crazy. starting stats are randomized. let's try it man. let's do more damage to alphas too.
0:38 what are my stats? that seems like a really high social man. big social guy? i am slow as fuck. wait, and because my social is so high, enemies don't give a fuck about me, bro. i gotta really get on them before they even care to attack me. more social?
1:20 i don't like being so close to the snow because snow makes you super slow doesn't it? or maybe a desert next to the ice is good because they counteract each other. our ability is pretty high, let's take an attack.
1:45 ever seen the 2002 movie tiptoes starring matthew mcconaughey? i have not. i was hoping you were going to say sahara. i was hoping you were going to say you ever seen the 2005 film sahara starring matthew mcconaughey and then i was going to say not only have i seen it, i saw it in theaters.
2:01 and then you would say, why? big fan of clive cussler. and i would say, no, just sort of it came out. i had nothing to do with said, let's go to the movie theater, watch that new matthew mcconaughey, steve zahn, penelope cruz movie sahara. also, maybe the first time i ever saw dwight from the office pre office. firstly, feast. heat adaptations. you know what? i'm going into the tundra.
2:37 nice try. nice try, bud. going into the tundra might as well get some cold adaptation. how crazy would you have gone off with moviepass? if moviepass existed between any time between when i got my driver's license in like the 11th grade and my final year of university, i would have been wearing the fucking magnetic strip off of that thing. i would have gone ape shit on moviepass. you don't want the smoke, kid.
3:16 with high social you want scavenge. good, you know what? great intel, good to know. excuse me guys, just gonna sneak right by you. would you have graduated? i think movies ain't that long in the whole scheme of things. you can do way more damage to yourself scholastically than with video games as opposed to movies. one game of civilization is like, i don't even know, at least five or six movies at a minimum.
3:50 first we feast. what if you watch luz change? yell nats, it's one of the funniest things you've ever said. i think the culture was a little different when i was in university, but i do think that i saved the life of a friend of mine. because in, well, my roommate in university, my housemate, i should say, in university. one day in 2008, he was like, hey, check this out. i just watched this documentary on
4:25 youtube called loose change and it's like starting to think that like this shit was an inside job. and i basically just instantly went like, what are you talking about? that obviously that's that makes no sense whatsoever. and he went, all right.
4:46 he kind of like i don't i'm not saying he he disabused himself with the notion but he didn't push any further and i think that was like i might have nut checked him enough to just apply gentle social pressure to bring him back to normalcy. dashing on snow is a 20 chance to spawn food double the chance if leap was used well now we have to get leap and then we just jump get food jump get food jump get food
5:25 detachable tail, big tail that takes enemies agro. i've never seen it before so i will grab it. no, they be taking my bucket. okay, dashing on snow gives a chance to spawn food. holy shit, it fucking worked. and then you go vegetarian build. because you ain't spawning meat out the damn ground. nice shot, nice shot kid. wait, then i eat my own tail. motherfucker man. think you're milkshake at least.
5:58 leap, leap, leap, leap, leap, leap, leap, leap, leap. i'll take feeding speed, that's fine, doesn't bother. wait, do you, are there generally some meat there? kangaroo ass. should be dashing at every opportunity. so high priority, obviously leap, but even just a lower cool down dash might go crazy. give me the meat. shit, shit, dude, there's a fuckload of apples.
6:37 beak does poison? i think it's gotta you at least gotta get one level of that beast. and we're level 12 by the first boss, man. oh my god, we're spotting so much fucking fruit! yeah, give me regen. it's literally purple. holy fuck. what happened to that guy? he's the aba, lookin' so good, man. hey. it's boss time. horrible news for you, fish man. wait, this game's kinda insNLy good.
7:24 don't put that on the steam store page. i wasn't thinking like 100% straight when i said it, but still, i do like it a lot. give me that. bro, i'm willing to stand in there with you. you're having some serious problems, fellow. is this your first vampire survivors like? am i tweaking? it's not vampire survivors. you aim the attacks. that's a fundamental element of vampire survivors.
8:10 also, i played vampire survivors and like i don't even know it was like 2017 or something. there's a there's a berry! i'm going back for it. first i just gotta ice this fool. first i just gotta get killed by this guy. motherfucker, man! i needed the fucking dash! wait, rerolls cost one less? that's that's one, man. i love the xp maxing. i mean, that's zero i should say.
8:57 marked. you know what's good? the flies just do it for the love of the fucking game, man. they don't even eat the meat. rerolls cost zeros. crazy. fuck it. mushroom build. mushroom vegetarian build. get some poison resist. very smart idea. i'm gonna start with some regen, but that makes a lot of sense to be honest with you. if you don't mind, i'll just die real quick first. it's not gonna stop me from eating a mushroom.
9:49 um, you know what being the elusive mushroom consumer might be a decent play here. if you would just fuck off and let me eat my mushrooms, you wouldn't have any problems, man. let's roll because we can roll for free. let's get physical. the jacked vegan mushroom bodybuilder. poison resist please. very low physical damage. you know what? how about an ability damage attack?
10:33 that drains life to finance our mushroom consumption until we can get some poison resist because we could always swap load out man you could always swap load out i'm draining your life young pup i'm draining your fucking life don't take my health food i need that health food and it's ability based damage so we go full cortex on that like i'm the final boss of crash bandicoot 2 the best crash bandicoot no disrespect to warped which is also really good
11:18 imma crash two head personally. damn, that was a lot of poison. stinging mushroom that kills me? i didn't even look at the identification. i just ate it right away, man. faster regen? oh, maybe it doesn't kill you. give me your life. you do just be eating? well, every mushroom gives you xp, man. so you'd be a fool medicinal mushroom! you gotta be eating those. motherfucker. you'll want eyes?
12:02 realize? i just couldn't think of anything to say to be honest. lower cooldowns. i know we've got rerolls, but i like what i got, man. some gormless enemies to steal the life of? that's big. and he dropped freaking health food so we can eat a mushroom. better regen. remember, we want to be level 12 by the boss. i hate this fucking game. i hate this fucking game. you could die just by eating the wrong food. okay.
12:49 really good design god who through whom all things are possible by the way, but i'm going big brain mode witness five different shiny enemies. oh shit. this is how i find out there's a shiny shiny enemy on the fucking board get his ass, bro big brain high defense be like an old jacques lemaire, new jersey devil minnesota wild type phenotype, you know what i'm saying?
13:50 not at all. jacques lemaire was a very defensively minded nhl player who also later became a coach and coached easily the most boring nhl teams i've ever seen in my entire life, but they were pretty successful. how about those canadians last night? they are, and i'm literally like all in on the habs, but they are seriously becoming merchants of like getting grossly outplayed every single game, but then somehow still winning
14:28 regardless, so more power to a man only in games. that's true only in game sevens going more damage resistance even though i think the elephant trunk could be interesting. very price still carrying. yeah. can you believe it? to this day? that being said, and i like the sabers too to be fair. mostly because like the canucks they've been in the league for the exact same amount of time and have also never done anything important.
15:15 except that one time they did win the stanley cup, but then like the rules were fucked up that season so if like you had a i mean, it's a whole discussion calgary kind of got screwed by that too if we're being honest, but regardless calgary you shouldn't complain either because you literally won a game because of the freakiest bounce i've ever seen in my entire life shit literally hit like a dead zone like a cs2 flashbang and came back like hit dobish in the back of the left knee resistance oh damn
16:03 get his ass, get his ass. they're fucking feasting on the ninja turtle at night. but he's biting back. that's big for a guy like me. they wasted quinn hughes prime, what other team can make that claim? hopefully the wild soon. if he deigns the franchise worthy of resigning a contract there for a couple of years until his younger brother hits unrestricted free agency.
16:52 better franchise than vancouver? yeah, but that's like not saying much. i mean, i root for the canucks because i live here. not because like, you know, they speak to me in the spirit. the games are like on in the restaurant when you go out to eat here, so it's pretty convenient. also, you gotta rep the local guys, because if you don't rep the local guys, you better have a damn good reason. if you live, i don't care where you live. if you live in houston, you better have a good reason not to root for the astros, okay? even if they are ontologically evil.
17:22 you root for the local guys, because they're local. good reason, it's the canucks. i'm sorry, it's spiritually vacant to live in. if you live in burnaby, you can do whatever you want. you're probably closer to calgary than vancouver proper anyway. but if you live in vancouver itself, it's very spiritually vacant to root for a different team. i would actually, i'll give you props if you root for the kraken, because they're kind of cool too. they got some pnw swag.
17:54 but i mean, god help you if you grew up in vancouver and you choose to root for like the bruins or the rangers. god help you. god help you. i forgot what this build does. give me a second. new york islanders? no, the islanders are cool because their jerseys have orange on them.
18:28 okay, i'm gonna try out a new style of build. it's not working yet, but the new style of build is who gives a fuck if you hit me? because i'm tanky. i don't do any damage, yo. fuck off. stop hitting me. you gotta stop hitting me. oh my god, it's the boss. i'm level 10 and i don't do any damage and it's the boss. great. bro, bro, chill, i need to eat the health food. level me, please, level me. i'll stand in there.
19:25 i can literally kill him. i'm not saying it's gonna be fun. isaac has taught me the ways. it's actually gonna work, holy shit. stay on him. this could be big for me. don't burn to death. that would have been a great shot to land. kite him a little. got him! okay, now hold, hold, hold, hold right here. motherfucker, man!
20:30 fuck it. the bigger you are, the rarer the evolutions are. and then start me with 10 plus hp. can you, you know what? new heuristic just dropped. literally always take an attack on your first few levels. go with a full loadout so you're not doing a little, so you're not doing that garbage over and over. any attack. otherwise we're just goo. something's just going to eat you, bro.
21:14 oh, you gotta go legendary. very low physical damage attack used when the other basic is used. so we basically we want a physical damage attack that has a low cooldown. antlers cool down kind of long also it hurts us a little bit but there's a reason prey animals are kind of low tier. do you mean irl or do you mean i need forage or men? do you mean irl or do you mean in the game? in game prey is pretty good. so you're saying irl like you're saying like you'd rather be a bird than a worm.
22:02 i don't know, i think they just specked into a different tier, man. i think the worms are playing a different game. but you know how it is, man. the worms... the birds eat the worms, we eat the birds, and then the worms eat us, man. like, it's the circle of motherfucking life. everybody wins, everybody loses. bonafide hustler making my way. look at that.
22:37 saliva build yet again my liege. no, it's not a saliva build. this one's easy, bro. we're going to, well, i mean poison damage is always good, or poison resistance is always huge. a poison resistance mushroom build! poison resistance could be the one! you shouldn't have come over by me. if you didn't want to be dead, you shouldn't have come over by me. yes sir, more poison resistance. eat them no matter what, tank that shit. bad advice irl, good advice in game.
23:26 i think. i don't know. do your own research. mushroom, mushroom, mushroom. roll it. shrooms do minimal damage, always worth. what about the one that killed me, huh? what about the one that fucking killed me? did that do minimal damage or did i lose it? it's crazy. wait, i'm doing the chiblee thing where i'm like proverb maxing. sometimes one hp is your toe. sometimes it's... the point is, one hp is a lot if that's all you got, is what i'm trying to say.
24:17 even the tankiest isaac started at 1 hp. this will kill me. isaac starts at 3 hp? motherfucker, you're right. that's damn true. the ant is mighty, but he has 1 hp. i don't even think that's true, man. they're just weak to poison. i know that because i probably like if i'm being objective, i think
25:04 i didn't like do this, but i bought the traps that have probably killed like 250,000 ants in the last two weeks. came home one day, fuckload of ants right outside the garage. went to the home hardware, got some taro bait traps. next day, a bunch of really, really weird puddles around where the taro bait traps got placed. day after that,
25:35 no ants. i mean none bro, none. you slurp up the puddle? i don't think that's the play nephew. they'll be back with more boys? it usually works for the whole season to be honest with you. i think they like send a message.
26:11 like at the other ants at the very least they're like okay we can probably like get away with being here but we got to be like way more low key than the last generation. it's like they were they were flaunting that they were fucking up my garden man. i don't mind if i got ants as long as like you know i don't see like 250,000 of them every time i leave the garage. i don't want any of this trash. nice try. bro why why would you do that? okay this time we're getting our revenge.
26:59 you literally never try to do a meme like passive building this game. just take a couple of attacks and go apeshit. get as big as you possibly can. and then get speed. we want legs. yeah, yeah, you want legs bro. you always want legs. we look like a my singing monster. bro, you look like entbrat. has fintanio ever done a my singing monsters review? because honestly some of the tracks are kind of fire.
27:47 remember you have size. so the bigger i get, the better my loot is. he did, but he delisted it. i think you're probably playing into some kind of meme that i'm not familiar with, but that would be the saddest story i've ever heard, man. i want to know how he feels about the... every monster knows how the plants grow. every monster cares. and he knows and he sees and he feels them. and he keeps them alive.
28:23 let's watch plants grow. you know what i'm talking about? time after time. i gotta chill on the antlers for a bit. we need feeding speed. it is crazy when you're watching your five year old play my singing monsters and then the song goes, uh, nobody likes me. everybody hates me.
29:02 it's because i am weird. thanks for the food. bro, i literally saved your life. i saved your life. this is how you repay me. okay, now you're dead. oh, it's scuttle season. bro! hey, hey, huge animal that moves like a bug is fucked up. that's some of the host shit. we're moving like the host. oh, but we're eating like the most. stop hitting me! i literally have no beef. i thought they were wholesome chungus, man.
29:57 it's more mass bro. i'm okay. i got a little scared there. i'm gonna lie to you. that was half real, half put on. more? more? remember you can pivot from antlers for a faster attack. oh, i've forgotten the whole reason that i built my run like this. you're right. what's a faster attack than... it's peck, right? peck is super fast? boss.
30:43 alright, fucking whatever jim carrey's name was from liar liar. fletcher? i want to say it's fletcher. it is fletcher. that's how you know a movie's fucking good, man. who directed liar liar? how about you don't kill me though? can i get a director check on liar liar starring jim carrey? paul goldschmidt? isn't that the dude on the st. louis cardinals? he's on the new york yankees now, isn't he?
31:29 multitown, i guess they got a long off season, especially last year. your max hp is multiplied by size value. it had to be done, be careful you call ugly in middle school bro. i'm shadyac, now that sounds fucking real. i'm shadyac, he also did fun with dick and jane, right? he seems like the type of beast that might have done bruce almighty too. bro, literally just fuck off, i have no quarrel with you man, boss coming.
32:12 bro, bro, bro, stop, stop. we're both in the water, man. it's gonna be tough enough. no, actually, it might be a little bit on the easy side. never mind. i don't know, it's gonna be a damn, it's a heavyweight bout, man. this is like rousey versus carano. nobody knows how it's gonna go. run? yeah, i'm not getting hit by that one. that's for sure. i'm getting hit by that instead. stop the bolt of water!
33:13 a bolt of water! lost to a damn shower! game's too hard, man. give it up? nah, i got 20 minutes. i got one more in me. we'll just take the ones you win with every time. rerolls cost less. third level up, we'll offer three legendaries. oh good. and we're in the fucking tundra. what's this guy's problem? it's literally my lunch, man. eat pouch. take the mushroom. i would like to eat faster. give me some jaws. it is a damn doggy dog world. you're not joking.
34:02 bro, you don't want to be here. you get a little bit off the mushroom. how about some legendary hollow bones so we're moving a little different? cold adaptation. now we're talking. and there's got to be a good reason to be in the tundra. so maybe if we can just get cold adaptations like, i mean there's a reason polar bears are chilling there i'm assuming. now you're gonna say some shit. it's complicated. yeah okay whatever you say buddy. meat progress gonna go crazy. this is meat by the way.
34:52 truth news, crouch baby. i'll tell you one thing, i'm not gonna freeze to death. literally got more biomass and blubber than they know what to do with. yeah, yeah, come on over bro, come on over. i'm taunting the enemies, this is kind of embarrassing. i don't wanna charm enemies. in the tundra there'll be less enemies. let's go plus four to stoner ammo cap and let's actually take stoner if we see it instead of ignoring it like we do every other time. let's run away so we don't die. let's die. you can't kill the enemies.
35:59 you can't kill the enemies. you're not fast enough to run away from the enemies and you can't kill them. they fucked up, bro. they fucked up. flies on beatable. well, yeah, if you're a piece of shit, then you lose to a fly. it's how it goes, man. let's go slow metabolism and then level up like crazy. we'll get more speed later. dude, wait. scavenger and then just follow along with the motherfuckers and eat the food that they drop? this could be genius, man.
36:45 we'd like to eat faster, but i mean having an attack also kind of key as i've said a thousand times. okay now i've deliberately made myself slow. eat faster. we need an attack. we need an attack. someone in chat just mentioned merge maestro. i fucking forgot about merge maestro man. i think i went on vacation after playing that game and then forgot it existed. now that's a fucking game. even better scavenger. and then like fuck this dude's life up. fuck his life up even more.
37:36 normies went crazy for that for one day. i know people were in librarians comments going can somebody explain why the merge maestro ended? can someone can someone i'm sorry. i'm learning a new language here it's the language of gen z youtube video essay watchers. can somebody please give me the lord dump for why the merge maestro arc ended? those little bubbles out there scavenge me. i'm actually getting fucking fed, bro my food my food
38:25 me on my lunch break? you're not brown bagging it, young pup? sandwiches are like $18.50 these days. what do you think's the most op trait that you can have? like in the animal kingdom? and don't charles darwin fucking don't say some shit like it depends on your environment or i'll fucking slap you silly. i just don't think those words have ever exited my mouth. oh shit. why not, man?
39:04 yeah, flight's pretty big. thumb's definitely big. thumb's is like, i think if i didn't have them, i would be like, what the fuck, bro? some of you guys got thumbs? like almost everything is designed to be easier to manipulate with a thumb. compound eyes, take them or leave them honestly. what are our stats like here? dog shit, okay.
39:37 we gotta take like a good attack. but sprinting is huge for us because we can sprint into the meat, suck it up, and eat it, get fucking fed off of it, and then get out of town. yeah, like kill that fish. kill that fish and eat it. can you kill that fish so that i can... i'll body block him for a second.
40:01 okay, that's fucked up. they really do be your own man but that look at i'm getting so much xp off of the fucking fish man and then bite each other bite each other that you're biting each other dude we need a better attack at some point i'm not even memeing. it's the mouth to anus digestive tract you think so? i mean i but that's like i
40:33 i don't know. that's like someone asking for like your favorite element. you saying carbon. like even worms have that shit, man. i'm like... i was hoping you'd say something a little bit more out of the... out of the pocket. motherfucker, man. i was hoping you'd say something flipping crazy. fucking scumbag build. i like nitrogen.
41:13 a lot of people like nitrogen because it actually is like the modal element in our breathable air. that just is literally you're saying like the wheat is the best part of the lucky charms is basically what i'm saying to you. that's the garbage part. honestly, we would be a lot better off probably source my ass if air was more oxygen rich.
41:41 that's the type of shit lance armstrong was trying to do before you guys canceled him. you hate mushrooms? i've literally taken mushrooms every time, they kill me every time. one thing's for sure, i'm not dying to the fucking krabaroo again. all right, maybe i'll take a little heat off him though. can you stop kiting me on the tree? dodged me, lad. close him, close him. he's literally regen him.
42:31 and pissing me off. oh, it's real boxing. we got him. we got him against the fucking ropes. oh, he took my golden meat, man. he took my golden meat. oh, he's eating it down there. let me get some speed. get some speed. no, get some fucking rumination. i'm a bit of a ruminate merchant. oh, he ate it all. then he's going to fucking feed to this guy probably, hopefully, because then i'll sk oh my god, he's farting on him.
43:10 yes, and then i eat the meat. he's just interested in the hunt. the yagton. you're not an apple bro. audio only a bit odd on this. yeah, it's an audio visual medium nephew. you gotta have both. otherwise you're getting an incomplete picture. it's gotta be ruined. i mean, it's all i take but it's all i need. kill the fish bro. kill the fish. kill the fish. a body blocking for you. yeah, fart on him.
44:02 holy shit, it literally fucking worked. and then that guy could die to poison too. i think he did die to poison. i'm gonna get fucking fat off of this shit, bro! this game looks too vampire survivors for me. i'm literally gonna fucking freak out. i'm gonna... would you eat the fart meat? if it gave me 200 xp? yeah, bro. yeah, i'd eat the fart meat. i'd order seconds. are you seeing the fucking xp that i'm getting here? this is insane. level 24, not even close to the second boss! what the fuck? i leveled up. i was looking at chat.
45:07 physical? you know what? maybe we need a trunk attack too. just something to give us a second attack. body block him? oh, i'd be the body blocker, the heartbeat stopper. that's a roll and a half. eat faster? part on each other and then both die? you are really dumb, for real. your guy kind of looks like a piece of shit. if my shit looked like this, i'd stop taking metamucil, that's for sure, because i wouldn't fucking need it anymore.
45:45 poison resist kind of crazy man. i understand we did have some hollow bones in there, but holy shit, holy shit two levels in one your ruminants going insane it just keeps getting better too. it would be nice if oh my god, you've almost killed me. oh this i did not kill that's huge. oh
46:44 we need more health drops, of course. because i'm almost dying like every two seconds. oh, shit! this is awesome. when you're winning, this game is good. when you're losing, this game definitely sucks. don't put that on the steam store page. chet, is this the one where i said we're gonna go stoner or is that the one i died on? i've died on so many different builds i don't even remember. that was the last one. okay. understandable. in that case, let's eat even faster. i don't know, get his ass.
47:33 you do have to wonder, like why do they have so much beef with me specifically? it's like they, given the chance to attack any enemy, they will attack me. i don't know what i've done to deserve that. i mean look at your guy. okay, so he's like a little fucking freak, whatever man. it doesn't mean he deserves to be like killed and eaten, in my opinion. you see me snatch that shit all up on damage charm nearby enemies. nah. i'm taking big eater. all your fish belong to me.
48:29 yes, yes, and then other enemies walk into the farts. we literally just need to be able to sprint nonstop. if we could just sprint from meal to meal, i mean the whole universe opens up to us broadly man. better daytime, more damage, nah it's faster feeding bro. somebody kill this dude. lower cool downs means you can run further, jump higher. man, i'm not gonna be part of your system.
49:20 that scaling you lose to the boss now. the boss is he's more dead than any enemy is ever dead. also, i didn't think he was gonna spawn for another like, at least five minutes to be honest with you. huge lower cooldowns. my god. you know what? give me better range. we're doing some damage. i don't even know what my dodge chance has got to be 75. why am i even trying to dodge? we should just stand in there. because if i get hit once i'm almost dead. that makes sense.
50:17 more max hp so i can tank one more hit during this fight. get me out of here bro. oh, you've killed your own minion and thus given me some food and it was health food and i got 300% xp off of it. get away from me. and there's even more health food down here. get out of there! motherf whatever, i healed. you're almost dead. and i'm gaining more xp so what do i care? oh, jesus christ! help me. bro, someone's gonna come take my berry.
51:30 help me, help me, get me out of here. umm, we just want more speed. we want more speed because we're sloughed up. yes, bro, get some kills! bro, kill some of the spiders! fuck it, tank them. jesus christ. i want to be level 100 by the time we see the fourth boss. that's my goal. i think it's gonna happen, man. you literally never eat vegetables. fruits are vegetables in this game. try to keep up.
52:25 that's my fucking food. that's my fucking food. that's my fucking food. position them so they accidentally attack each other. more health food. more poison. huge, huge, huge. what a shot. what a shot. you fucked up, lad. ambient meats, please. i want a slice. you're getting the kill up here. i want a slice. where's all the veggies with protein? you're literally real for saying that. people are going to say beans. those aren't vegetables, bro. those are legumes.
53:12 you know what could be a really fun ludwig if you're watching? fun youtube video from the same twisted mind that brought you strap four of your friends to a table and give them one ambien every 20 minutes and the last person to stay awake wins $10,000. every 30 minutes, they're all strapped to a table. let's start right there. every 30 minutes, they have to chug a starbucks
53:46 ice brown sugar, oat shake and espresso with protein foam on top of it. every 30 minutes they have to chug one, last one to shit their pants wins 250 bucks. you could get a decaf probably. wait, eating health food gives us max hp and literally all i do is eat? metamucil foam? wait, wait, ghibli! fiber enriched foam is actually so smart. i'm sure you could probably do that.
54:37 and we know fiber's popping off, obviously, but... get him, get him. i'll body block him so you can kill him as fit. what a shot. oh, and the new health food for me. i'm not even messing with you, chiblee. i think that's a great idea. i don't think we're necessarily the types of fellas who could like know how to actually make that come to pass or whatever, but... gain arms but decrease speed by one? nah, man, i'm already too slow. but if we get scuttled, now we gotta take it.
55:18 look at the meat party. we get double xp off of meat that we didn't fucking kill ourselves. this tiny motherfucker man, try to bite ass. also i own you young pup, scott imagine that. wait, chiblee what? and don't answer with some shit like, i haven't been playing that much. what level of pressure are you on in this game? and don't write any shit about forza motorsports six, okay? i warned you.
56:15 equip scuttle? i was literally wondering why scuttle was asked for me. i realize now that i have not even equipped it. i don't want this garbage. i forgot to equip it. we'll just get it when we level up again in a millisecond. how do i equip it? i go here and i... where is it? you gotta click on dash? oh, there it is. brother, you don't have it? or will... bet you're feeling real silly right about now. oh shit. yeah, that's right. oh shit. that's right. oh shit.
57:02 i'm scuttlin. oh shit. poisonous mushroom, don't eat that. eat some vegetables instead. increase your regen by three. yum yum yum yum yum yum yum. i told you i was gonna get to level 100, bro. scuttle it and give it to the next guy. give me some of that meat. oh, the golden berry? they're too fast for me. even with scuttle, they're too fucking fast for me. yo, fight each other! stop making bird calls and fucking fight each other. i need to scavenge some damn meat.
58:02 we're level 69. we're actually gonna hit level 100. this is crazy. i hate taking prey down, but the meat going so up is so huge for us. he didn't even know i existed. did you see that? fuck with him. okay, we need to get into like a collateral damage type situation here. like this looks like, oh my god, i've killed him too fast? yeah, yeah, yeah. fuck each other up. walk into the fart cloud. bro, when you get a damn meat pile that you didn't generate yourself,
58:57 that's fucking true though food always tastes better when other people cook it. i honestly believe that i on it some people say food tastes better when you cook it i honestly believe food always tastes better with other people cook it exception is when you're 15 years old if you disagree with me you're 15 years old and you're sick of your mom's cooking which is like you should respect that she's doing a lot for you like she's cooking a lot for you but it's also valid to kind of be sick of eating the same shit over and over but like i mean some people would fucking kill for that you'd fucking kill for that after you move out, bro
59:28 you'd fucking kill for some 5 out of 10 roast beef after you move out. you're not gonna be cooking jake henshee lopez all of the most every night bro. i'm sorry, it's just not gonna happen. not to mention you ain't got the cookware young pup. okay, you literally can hurt me which is surprising you. i literally can't hurt you, which is not surprising. let's fucking do it then. let's fucking dance. let's return 55% of the damage that you do to me to you.
1:00:07 and let's eat the fucking meat that you're creating accidentally and get hella experience off of it. here it comes. more ability. big brain monkey. also, it's literally working. damn, he went crazy. maybe we own him. maybe we're unkillable.
1:01:01 okay, that is funny. i like the do the youtube commenters on slay the spire actually just think you're do they actually think you're lucky or are they trolling and then replying he is lucky is true man. i actually am pretty lucky
1:01:16 arguing with a friend, are you an evil genius like the dude who ran the heart attack grill? i'm not. what are you talking about? i'm not even selling anything. i'm just live playing video games. how would that make me an evil genius? i do hate that guy. i think that guy is evil. and i think what's crazy is that the people that go to the grill are like, he's not evil. he's awesome. i think the dude who owns the grill fucking hates you.
1:01:44 i don't think he would eat with you at all unless it was at his restaurant. let's put it that way. i think that dude is taking advantage of you. they're closing the grill. you're probably, these days they're probably bringing it back right with like plant based bean patties or something like that. the way things are going these days. check this out. chiblee, this is literally the best build because it's like high school friend build. what do i mean by that?
1:02:25 you're literally just taking like a little bit of everyone else's food and it gives you, it rewards you for it. this guy's, this guy's got to go though. he's doing way too much damage. to be fair, i'm making no effort to dodge at all. but dude, i was that kid in elementary school. everyone gave me food cause i was poor and fat. ghibli, i don't want to ruin your life. okay. who's going to tell him? does anybody, i don't want to tell him. does anybody else want to tell him?
1:03:09 everybody gives everybody cookies in elementary school, chib, you ain't special. that's every kid, man. sorry, chib, i didn't want to tell you. you're gonna call me poor and fat now? that would have been so funny if that was actually where that went. that would have been so fucking hilarious. holy shit. that's why he's the goat, man. comedic instincts are off the charts.
1:03:47 i'm not taking traits that i don't even know how to pronounce to be honest with you. arms, arms is about my speed. overtime stream, fucked up too cuz lunch is gonna take forever cuz i actually gotta heat it up today. can't just be grabbing it out of the fridge, opening the tupperware and chowing down. i guess i can, no, no, it'll be better heated up. can i have a fry? yo, you got fries? can i have one? i don't want that trash.
1:04:29 oh, baby. you like bluey? it's low key kind of okay, but i know that like the evils of lucy are whispering in the creator's ear because i see the blue flying boxes everywhere. they got a couple of episodes that i really think are pretty superlative as far as like children's entertainment goes. but oh shit, 120% on all food. what a fucking shot. what a fucking shot man. do some damage.
1:05:12 i can only scut a ladder. oh, they killed each other at the same time! roll me. you got 69 dna, sir? wrong. i got 67 dna. i want more mass. one more cheek pouch. and then perhaps i'll be charming enemies by accident. that's food that i didn't earn, so i want it. i told you we were gonna get to level fucking 100, man.
1:06:06 i'd rather have dinner with jay z cuz it's shorter. and i mean, i'm not saying he's gonna teach me anything but i got some questions. i got some questions for him that he may or may not wanna answer, i don't know. but at least, actually, i don't know, maybe dinner with jay z would be long as fuck. i honestly have no idea. sorry, i just ran out of shit to say, it's after 2 pm. i've had to go pee for like,
1:06:57 72 minutes, man. that's how you know the game's good. i said, nah, i'll hold it instead. on damage, take half damage now and half damage in one second plus 20 max hp. items so good it got me. it got stars coming out of my... or did i get stunned? because i hit level 100. there's no other enemies or... the enemies are not even fucking with me anymore. they're saying this guy's literally like... he's a different kind of beast. you don't want to fuck with him.
1:07:40 jingles kind of driving me nuts. you don't like hearing that that little tone 101 times in 20 minutes wait, we got to get in there. yes. yes fart on them. these guys are pissing me off man meat meat meat some meat some meat sire. there's no food left i ate all the food on the fucking planet like like school spines are also triggered on dodge. oh
1:08:22 he said, lamau, he said, lamau, it's okay. if you're watching the youtube video, chiblee said, lamau. i'm now realizing i need enemies to attack me to kill them. because i only do damage when i get hit or when i dodge. so hit me. damn, i'm starting to talk like the damn joker. see, there you go. and then they are dying not via me but via their own hand. as a result, the xp should be doubled.
1:09:05 wait, reduce all cooldowns by, reduce all cooldowns by 26%. i do be scuttling. we're not winning this one? bro, how are we losing this one? we can't lose. i'm not sure how i'm gonna get in there and do any damage, but i'm also not sure how i'm gonna take any damage without reflecting it all back on the boss. i'm keeping an eye on my hp. i'm scuttling, scuttling back.
1:10:10 i think i almost got hit there. does this game get hard? have you seen the last few runs? i've been dying in three seconds. okay, yeah, and then knock me into the fruit so that i get a ton of xp, bro. really good idea. really smart idea on your part there. now i'm gonna level up like five times and i'm gonna get stuff that allows me to level up even faster. my cooldowns just got reduced by 40%, though.
1:10:59 that's devastating news for you. you hate jaws? i'm using it nuts! you won't level it up? the only thing that can fucking kill me is meteors, bro! i gotta take meteor resistance. he's the easiest run of my life. never let the peanut gallery get you down. level 111. you literally gave it a five on letterboxd? it is one of the best reviews ever made, for sure. less than 1000 damage taken is crazy? yeah, i think i might be the best player of everything is crab on earth.
1:11:53 for now though, i'm going to send you over to my wife's stream and i'm going to go eat some leftover chinese food.