now this is fast food - Bits and Banter [05⧸20⧸2026]

Name: now this is fast food - Bits and Banter [05⧸20⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-23
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "now this is fast food - Bits and Banter [05⧸20⧸2026]" — 182 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-23

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0:00 you have a problem with my title? i'm aspiring my sla zor! i thought it was pretty good, man. i was brushing my teeth and it just kind of popped into my head. i felt like keith david getting the le crucette cast iron frying pan dropped on his head by jean jacket. it's a lot better than ascending the tower, let's put it that way. okay, the michael jackson robot did make me spit out my drink. okay, can i get a link to this michael jackson dancing robot eating shit? i have to not play the audio.
0:30 because michael's got shooters. it's not very good. mike gresta, did you see that paul schrader's ai girlfriend broke up with him? iconoclasts are in short supply, man. that's my goat right there. it's so, and i mean this, it's awesome that you would read that story and be like, wow, this old guy is obviously cooked. wrong motherfucker. he made first reformed like five years ago.
0:56 i wouldn't say that he's at his peak because he also made mishima 40 years ago. so that's an extended fucking peak, but either way you take the good with the bad. okay, wait, wait, wait. hey, i'm watching the robot. oh shit. oh shit. well, if i may, why did they have the stairs? the robot was actually doing a pretty good job before the stairs got involved, man. to me, that seems like a
1:25 it seems like an issue where they've constructed the stage improperly. it's way too dank. okay, it is pretty good. it is pretty good how he falls and nobody cares at all.
1:42 that's one of my favorite parts of any video of a robot falling down in china is like the people do not give a fuck. they don't even like take a step back. the robot like is tweaking out, is dancing like gene kelly and then it falls over and they just like, they're still just looking at their phones, man. it's awesome. just listen to gao zhou and asia for the first time. iron scales underscore be so fucking dead ass with me. song or album? album. that's what i'm talking about right there.
2:13 gaoqiu at higher peaks asia has the higher batting average literally wrong asia has two bad songs one of them is we got the news the other one i can't say cuz you'll be mad at me gaoqiu has one bad song third world, man why is this guy's wife being such a bee just let his friends sleep on the floor. he ain't bother nobody aragorn you got to understand the subtext it's about the
2:35 two men having a sugar daddy sugar baby type relationship, but then the sugar baby brings in a bodacious cowboy. and then beyond the disrespect, and i mean you have to think that from the op of gaucho, from their perspective, from the perspective of op, they're probably not naive.
2:57 you know, they know that maybe the sugar baby's not in it for love, but you gotta be discreet, man. and the biggest disrespect of all? letting them wear your spangled leather poncho and your elevator shoes? that's... that's too much. in their apartment, in the custard dome, no less? with the studs that match your motherfucking eyes? exactly, man.
3:19 being a streamer kind of a glamour profession? they could write a verse about me and glamour profession. i'm not saying i'm any hoops mccann, don't get me wrong. did you see elle fanning said her favorite bob dylan song was hurricane? first off, okay. elle fanning knows desire era bob dylan? i was expecting she... honestly, i didn't know she knew ball.
3:43 to have your favorite bob dylan track be off of 1976's oh that's right she plays fucking bob dylan's girlfriend in the movie, of course. what was i thinking? people will do anything but give timmy c his flowers, man. they'll say like, yeah, the movie's pretty good mostly because of elle fanning. can you just, why are you allergic to giving a dude his props, okay? is he doing an impression? yeah, it's a pretty good impression.
4:13 you're the one who watched the fucking biopic, man. what do you think? why are you timmy c's strongest offender? people who literally don't watch movies hate him. or they'll say some shit like, yeah, every movie he's been in except wonka was a 10 out of 10, but that's like the director's fault. yeah, everything he's done is awesome, but like not because of him. timmy c might get the most props of anyone under age 30. no, he doesn't, matt gresser. you need to go to fomoi. also, timmy c's literally 31.
4:43 i'm typing timmy c into google. no, not tim commerford, an american musician. number two, timothée chalamet. bros literally 30. what the fuck is he wearing in the wikipedia profile picture, man? that's awesome. a hell star hoodie with an hermes scarf over top of it. that's fucking crazy, man.
5:05 i'm from the opera community, timmy c can take a long aria off a short stage. so no you're not, but don't you mean a long aria a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a
5:31 a long aria off a sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh
5:55 mendel's entire messiah. i don't even like the part where they say hallelujah. i was like, please god get to the part where they say hallelujah. bro knew what he was doing. put that shit at the fucking end. what's the other opera i've seen? and by the way, you're going to say some shit like, um, oh, guy who's seen two operas, but this is like when someone who's white in chat
6:15 calls me out for being white. you haven't seen two operas, motherfucker? the other opera i've seen... okay, long opera about nuns getting their heads cut off. this is dialogues of the carmelites. okay, man, here we go. i watched dialogues of the carmelites. how long is dialogues of the carmelites? two and a half to three hours, including intermissions. the exact duration spans 150 to 180 minutes of performance time.
6:46 holy shit, bro. a brief encounter directed by david lean from 1957. 82 minutes! you have no excuse! you have no excuse! i felt all the blood rush to my head like a pimple about to be popped, man. nah, i'm chillin'. white people be like white people be like, but then they the white people who be like. that's true, man.
7:10 i also get called straight by a lot of straight people. i know that for a fact. i mean, you're not wrong. at the same time, like, what does it mean? it means vanilla? i thought that straight people were perverts! i thought that's why they hate us! well, they don't hate us. well, they hate us, i don't know. maybe they do. honestly, i was kind of like, uh... i really feel like being in cs2 voice chat made me understand the male loneliness epidemic, being self inflicted man.
7:42 i was like, why are people so rude to young men? and then i encountered like 30 young men and i went, oh. i mean, only like four of them were like total garbage. but still, i was like, wait a second. i gotta do some more investigation on this. the colorblind girl did not fuck with you either. she doesn't need to fuck with me. she was just being normal. why am i the way?
8:11 why am i the moral center here? she doesn't need to laugh at my jokes. my jokes are not always that funny. and even if they are, she doesn't have to laugh. she's playing cs. she's not like a comedy show. she was just being normal. she was doing call outs and joining bits and stuff like that. oh yeah, that's right. cause i'm the main character. that's true. she's not the target demo. well, okay. now don't say that. she might be the fucking target demo. i don't know. what do you mean she's not? i make jokes for everybody. everything you say is wrong.
8:43 you did invent what color is your microwave too, which is huge. on zz top, every girl crazy about a sharp dressed man. a how, how, how you got this man. and i, i don't really like zz top by the way. just in case like this is something that, if that's like a sacred cow in classic rock. i don't hate him, i just think, you know, find him kind of humorous i suppose. a how, how, how, how.
9:15 i don't think you need instruments to make zz top. i think you could just, you could do it all with your mouth. one guy, michael winslow could do a zz top concert all by himself, man.
9:37 you guys are gonna watch the mandalorian versus groglit? it's literally fresh on rotten tomatoes, by the way, before you say something pithy about, oh, it looks like dave fillion slop. oh yeah? would a bad movie have 60% even on rotten tomatoes? i don't think so, bud. it's at 55.
10:06 crocklet heads, it's over! it's over, no! drinking san peli like a classy italian lady. yep, did you know that supposedly it's bottled from the same spring that leonardo da vinci drank out of? so like, in some ways, i'm a little bit like leonardo da vinci right now. right now, now, now, now.
10:36 who's gonna win survivor tonight? i can't tell you because i saw the the kaoshi market for it two and a half months ago so i don't want to like ruin your your comfort show. by the way i see a lot of people typing very edgically in chat right now the only edgic chatter that i will suffer is vip daniel. vip daniel's done their time okay. what's edgic? people who watch the show to bet on who will win based on the editing instead of like
11:05 who they think is the way that the average person does which is um who's a good person and who's ontologically evil based on their actions in a competition show i love watching survivor because it's oh it's the spirit of competition by the way anybody who actually competes is ontologically evil oh you you uh blindsided somebody to take out a competition beast who might be a threat later you're a little evil you're a little evil honestly
11:32 now you got me doing the how how how how how how how how. but are you are you doing the whole how how how how or you are you looping it in with a ticket ticket to tick down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down
12:01 i mean, there's 80... there's 83 year old divorced dads for sure. double a bottom clears. i got a whole... i got a shoebox full of those in my fridge right now, man. just in case the tv remo... ah, that joke doesn't make sense. because fucking tv remotes these days are all triple a's, man.
12:22 a aa battery is, if you were to look at a chart of battery usage in 1997, 90% of batteries were aa. something happened and now we got a, we're suffused with aaa battery usages, man. mine said aaa for like a decade. yeah, but when you're older, a decade isn't really that long. so we're both on the same page here.
12:47 i mean like from 1998 to 2008, that was a long ass decade man. but like 2016 to 2026 was like a blink of an eye. but i guess like you probably disagree for some reason. i'll take a niao's fury. every time i take this card i think of the theme song to that 70s show. niao to you! we're all alright! we're all alright!
13:12 a lot of you are hitting skip intro on netflix so you don't really understand. greatest betrayal you ever experience is when you watch like four seasons of a show in prime time, then you see it in syndication and they cut the theme song. so you fucking, you're watching the drew carey show and all of a sudden they're not playing all of cleveland rocks. they're skipping like half of cleveland rocks. you're not hearing the second verse.
13:37 hey grestel, why did yeti just get timed out for 43,000 seconds? i'm not saying it was not called for by the way. at no point did i say it's uncalled for. i would just like to know. why do you keep standing up for yeti? you can't even see what they did.
13:53 and you're calling for their head. and worse of all, you're casting moral aspersions upon me for asking what they did! for asking what they did to get timed out. you're saying, why are you even asking? you're evil! you're evil! i'd just like to know what they did. reputation call? well, yeah, but i don't... check his profile and find out. oh, no, man.
14:18 i can't see the messages because the messages all say this message was not delivered to chat sent by restricted suspicious user. they won't even let me see the messages anymore. it's like now i gotta unban just to see what the message says. but yeah, you can go like do something else cuz i don't think that's gonna happen today. i gotta trust my rest on this one. it's just message after message of pure emojis.
14:53 oh shit. even i can see deleted messages, get some add ons, get some chrome extensions. yeah, it's not that good out of the box, but with a couple of mods, it's good. make sure you get the mods. oh, but before you get the mods, make sure you get the bright mod launcher. you don't want to get that mod launcher. first you got to jailbreak it. oh, those are pretty good machines. it's not that good out of the box, but after you jailbreak it, it's really good. i can't believe he hasn't even installed. oh, you're using this one? no, you don't use that one anymore. that one's old tech. use this one now. use this one now?
15:21 who is this straw man? this is everybody on the internet now. all i said was get an extension. yeah, but then if i did that, you would know that it worked and you would just be like, here's some more extensions to get. i'd rather just turn my computer off and walk away. newt gingrich, dead ass, sounds like grogu's dad. personally, i don't think like it's good to make fun of like our public servants who are selflessly
15:49 sacrificing the millions of dollars they could be making in the private industry in order to serve our interests in washington dc. he's not, he's not anymore. okay, light him up. go for it, mr. canada. you guys wish you had our public servants, man. i know you guys would be making freaky posts about melanie jolie. they're literally just jealous of interact e transfer. okay, interact e transfer is fucking awesome.
16:22 you're not lying on that one. interact e transfer is amazing. and it used to be like you would, you know, someone would pay for dinner because they wouldn't split the check and then everyone would e transfer them. nowadays, you'll go to like the dentist. the dentist will be like, hey, we'd prefer if you paid us via interact e transfer. i'm like, damn, this is awesome, man. how many a 10s we've shared? first off, that's not what you said.
16:49 how many a 10s have we cleared? don't answer that. it's illegal for you to answer that. let's just say mayan mathematicians are really excited about the number of times that we've cleared ascension 10. that's right, 2000 and 2012 times, yep. 2012 times already. will you watch the world cup? unfortunately, i think like almost all of the games will take place when i'm live. and like, i'm definitely not
17:22 moving any streams around to watch bosnia play switzerland. so i think that the answer is probably no. co stream could be the move. could be the move. i'm gonna, yeah, it's gonna be insane live updates. it is. but this is, i don't know, this is like the fourth world cup i've streamed during or something like that. so i'm used to it for sure. one time viewer, first time chatter, favorite steely dan song.
17:50 i don't really like to talk about steely dan on stream. it's a little too close to home for me. how crazy was it that map that we played? we played on ancient and counter strike and the dude said he loved steely dan and i said, oh awesome, what's your favorite steely dan song? and he couldn't name a steely dan song. like i still don't know if he just got stun locked, like his his cortisol got spiked or if like he was just fucking with me or something but not seeing like
18:17 i like steely dan and that not knowing a single song is so crazy. he did get to reel in in the years, but it took like a round and a half. it's not gatekeeping. if someone said, i'm a huge fan of x band and you said, oh really name one song. and they honestly, sometimes you need people, you need people at the gate keeping so that the trojan horse don't go in.
18:44 if the trojans had better gatekeepers, that fucking horse wouldn't have made it in. but instead, they probably had someone in their ear going, don't look like a gift horse in the mouth. all of a sudden, guess what? christopher nolan's in there making a movie about you. now, if you see a baddie and she's wearing a nirvana t shirt, you don't have to go, hey, name three nirvana songs. but if you see a dude with a big bushy beard wearing a steely dan shirt,
19:15 i should at least be able to name one song by steely dan. if you see a dude with a big bushy beard and his shirt is tucked into his pants and his pants are up really high and his belt is like, it's a brown belt on jeans with like black patent leather shoes with a fucking chunky toe, not a pointed toe like an italian shoe but a fucking square ass toe and he's got his phone clipped to his belt
19:44 come on, man. you gotta be able to at least name that might be steely dan! that yeah, you're right. that might be steely dan. pale's wing kinda swag, but one additional card when we have panache seems like the fucking play. i can see by what you carry that you fucking come from berrytown for sure. i'm not one to look be sing it if you know the words. to look behind, i know that times must change. this is the b side, i'm sorry to say.
20:14 over there in berrytown they do things very strange is that your favorite steely dan song? nah, but it's probably my second favorite off of pretzel logic. although sometimes...
20:28 i don't know that the here's one that barrytown's number two. the only problem is i don't know what's number one. is it night by night? is it any major dude will tell you there's fucking days where i'm like, it's parker's band. parker's band goes in the new saxophone sensation. it's fucking not east st. louis to delu. i'm going to freak the fuck out. i'm going to freak the fuck out. if you start talking about that, it's glamor prevention, glamor professions of a asia.
20:58 the era of kazaa you should have the canonical track list in front of you glamour professions gaucho oh yeah my bad i was thinking of asia um well anyway moving on big fan i'm getting they're they're pushing the horse out of the fucking uh out of the gate no
21:21 mr. n now has been a while since i could tune in. yo jake, we got crazy news for you. did you know there's another jake now? by the way, i did not say you've been replaced by any stretch of the imagination. all jake's are welcome here. but there's another jake, cycling jake 77 pulled up. i don't know, i mean they might have been around for a bit but i only became aware of their presence. but maybe a few short weeks ago, see look there they are.
21:56 the other three beatles when yoko joined? oh no! okay, so i know one of the other three is jon, but who are the no, i'm just playing. i'm just playing. who are the other two though? no, i'm just playing. i'm just playing. i'm actually, i'm like more than chill with yoko to be honest with you.
22:15 let me put it this way, if you had yoko and john over for like a dinner party when they leave, you ain't talking shit about yoko. let's put it that way. if you are, you're probably saying some shit like, yeah, but look at who she's dating. you'd probably be a little fucked up too. no appeal on the docket today, just my own sin.
22:39 i literally, by the way, creed obviously sucks and i apologize if you're part of like the apology tour for creed that is trying to convince everybody that they're actually good just because you like their songs.
22:54 we don't need to get into the, you know, definition of art or whatever. but that is the one creed song that in my opinion goes hard as fuck. like he's talking about some shit that is not like real to me, but it's real to him. the dude wrote with a pen and a pad, i cry out to god seeking only his decision. gabriel stands there confirming i've created my own prison.
23:21 never do that again? what's your problem with my impression of creed? and i say, ooh. because that bridge is also kind of good. and i say, ooh. and then we got mark, what's his name? mark tremoni in the background. so i hold my head up high, body aching so they're blind. and i said, okay, my boy.
23:48 where's the youtube update or the youtube upload when you need it for skipping q underscore q dual gg. you're a partner streamer, so i'm going to mind my own tongue. this isn't slime stream. okay. we're we, we were throwing all the branches out here. okay. you got to know i take it as an insult. you might not have meant it as an insult, but i take it as an insult that you're like the shit that you're saying right now is really boring. i wish i could skip it. cause i think honestly you might say that's not what i meant. well, it's what you wrote.
24:15 my reading level is like at the 10th grade level. so i understand when i read a sentence, i know what it means. you basically said you're boring or annoying right now. i wish i could skip this part. i take offense. i take personal offense to that. it would have at least felt better if you said this part is kind of annoying. not going to lie. that would have been okay. i would have been like, yeah, it's annoying. i'm a bad singer singing a bad song. that makes perfect sense. you know, we're not so different. you and i chip gets created in a stem rotation is over.
24:43 imagine he goes to texas and gets like really into morgan wallen somehow or shaboozy. what is worse for us than the other? imagine he comes back and he starts saying shit like, um, i'm pouring up another shot of whiskey. everybody in the club getting tipsy. wait, maybe that would actually be kind of awesome. now that i think about it, maybe that would be incredible.
25:10 country chiblee would play pretty well. i have a theory about country music. i think it's easier to sing well when you have a twang. because the twang gives you more space to play with the note. i'm not saying all country singers are bad, i'm saying it's easier to be a quote unquote good singer if you sing country. you hear me sigh after i drank that? i'm so sick of having takes, man. wait! every four cards you play, draw a card! that's exactly what you fucking told me would make the run pop off!
25:45 good supercritical use. so limelina, the fight is going to be over in like two turns. would you rather wait till it never comes back around to get no energy out of it? or would you rather play a get one quarter of a draw and maybe get a little bit of energy out of it? type fast. yes. 42,300. magresta did the math for me earlier. you just got yeti'd.
26:10 it's 43,200 not 42,300. okay, that's an extra 900 seconds on me. you get 15 minutes of reprieve. one curse to, oh shit, you're so real. chad, you're kind of the goat here. one curse to make adrenaline not exhaust is fucking nutty.
26:36 and then maybe it's time, maybe it's time to get one claw to help our scaling. all right, we might have to think a little bit here. it would be so ironic after saying this is the easiest boss to then lose to it. fuck it, i'm playing everything we got, man. shit, echo form? honestly, i would hate to be timed out for 42,000 seconds right now cuz typing pog would go so hard right now. you could have been part of the solution instead of part of the problem. i would love to type pog right now.
27:15 i know you're punching your wall. i was gonna say some fucked up shit. i was gonna say your neighbor's gonna ask you to keep it down. i was gonna imply you had a shared wall with a neighbor, which is not even bad. like we obviously need more housing. but like it's just that's why i didn't say it because it was too far. release the fairy? dude, you know what? i'll do it. i'll do it. that's how if you're not willing to do that, you're not a real gamer if you're not willing to do that.
27:45 i know you're saying the ev is imbalanced, oh it's an asymmetric risk. oh buddy. we're using e sings now. also toss the fire potion. well here's the thing, it's swag to throw away the fairy, but it's swag to kill a boss with the fire potion. i don't know how to explain it, but those are the rules. like killing the ascension 10 boss with the fire potion is... oh, he died to banash! no! oh!
28:19 hey, that was awesome though. hey, we actually have an a10 victory, man. and i think i did the easy part. 3,000 damage. holy shit. i did the easy part. chad did the hard part of keeping me on task at those shops and with the upgrades. i appreciated that. anyone remember the username of the chatter i destroyed? slash user. it was like ellie something. we can bring them back. ooh, no, they might be gone forever.
28:52 it's not it's not let's get high. let's get highs never done anything. oh, they're still here.
29:00 i don't know. they did call me a larper for saying glamour profession was on asia. wait, but then they said, here's the thing that, okay, now going through your logs, i'm actually getting more pissed off because you're making jokes that are like, do you know john choi? so you're like a chiblee chatter, but a type a churlish chiblee chatter is that's not a good phenotype. you're supposed to be a silly joker like bamba.
29:24 you can't be type a because the fact that there were type a chatters like you, and i'm not saying it is you, but like you, that you resonate with, that you have the same energy of. because of you, chibby doesn't play the iron shot anymore, which is actually better for everybody because he plays games that are like more his style. but either way, you did some damage to his mental health. your timeout has been removed though. you're no longer the weakest link. goodbye.
29:48 i mean howl from beyond playing for free is awesome, but uppercut upgraded is such a greedy upgrade man. such a greedy upgrade, works nicely with dominate. gotta be done man. and then let's try to get this upgraded. no combat, no combat. yum yum. no combat, so question mark node so good. do not bring that back. you don't like pinky doll? she's kind of my goat. if i was doing a tier list of npc streamers, it would be like her and squeaks at the top, no doubt.
30:22 wasn't she canadian? still is, as far as i know. but i mean, that's what i thought about wayne gretzky too, so i don't know. things change. very bad sequencing. thank you for your comment. i really appreciate it. you were my best friend. ah, okay. stampede costing one, obviously. but that's not why i watch his charming ass. i'm afraid it's way too late. you have left your... you left the apology
30:52 three seconds too late and the damage from the original message had already been done and your orange ass username is permanently locked in my prefrontal cortex which if i remember correctly is in charge of executive function. it is on fight. it is also the first impression it's true. so it's like that's all i know about you is that i don't really like you i all i know about you is is that i find you a little bit churlish but
31:22 but then you know that you can eventually make it back from a bad first impression probably. you could change your username color. that's true actually, hang on. no, i got it now. i have the username because i did the auto complete fast enough. hang on, i'm scrolling up through more messages. you're a normal chatter. see, that's what pisses me off is that you're a normal chatter. you make one mistake and now you're permanently compromised in my eyes. there was no need to do that. why would you do that? why would you do that?
31:56 also people are gonna be mad that i played a strike and didn't let the way but maybe that was the right play actually. i don't know one second. hang on. i'm shadow boxing. the strongman clap back. that's honestly if i'm being fucking for real with you, that's kind of what pisses me off. people accuse me of strong manning all the time. i at least am giving you like the pin man. i'm not gonna sit here and pretend to be peter thiel and say that i'm steel manning every single argument. there's obviously just not valid.
32:23 that being said, i'm at least i'm letting the straw man fight back a little bit. oh shit, this card has innate and retain. we need to fucking make hellraiser innate. jackpot? fuck off. it can't go on powers? oh, an attack from skill. jackpot is insNLy good. well, okay, but like, so i get it to play with scavenger.
32:58 or whatever this power is called, stampede. close enough. it plays for free, but then i get three random zero cost cards in my hand, but then they just get dropped into my discard pile right after and fills my deck with a bunch of shit, man. no, you just play it? well then i don't have the energy to play my other shit.
33:25 most colorless zero costs are draw. okay, but does it give you colorless or does it just give you random zero costs? they cost zero? yeah, but they take up a space in my draw, bro. you're on like, you get to play it? no, you don't get to fucking freak out. you don't know what you're talking about. i'm not taking ultimate defend though. that's not going to happen. you're a larp er. you're a larp er. you don't play. you just watch. okay. i'm not mad anymore. attack or skill becomes innate. i don't know if we have a great target for that, to be honest with you.
33:58 but the joss whedon is like useless here, but you fucking have to do fucking something bro. you could obviously cut that because it's no good. red mask is pretty nice. you know what? fuck it. you guys have been good today. let's give it a try. so your thesis is you just play it. even though this dude's gonna hit me for 14. we give it a try. alright, so that sucked. that did nothing for us. okay, that one was unlucky. i'm gonna fucking freak out.
34:38 i'm gonna freak out. i'm gonna and i think i'm i'm in the right to freak out. we're supposed to let the i'm gonna let the jackpot play itself. okay, this hell raisers the goat, man! i can't wait for this run to make him hate jackpot forever? yeah, but isn't that fair based on the the quality of jackpot? which is not like now i didn't hate it and now i'm playing it and i hate it! you blame the tortoise for not being the hare?
35:06 you can't argue by analogy unless the analogy makes sense bro. like who's what's the tortoise, what's the hare and how does the analogy you know presuppose validity in this situation? the tortoise won bro, nobody's blaming him? wait wait is that chad, is that true? come on hit this guy. motherfucker man. i'm fucking dead and it dude like legitimately can i say legitimately it's jackpot's fault.
35:47 it's actually jackpot's fault for being so shitty. the run was so good! that's so ba it's it's a horrible card! how do you not conclude it's hellraiser that's shit? hellraiser was the only card doing anything! hellraiser was the only card that fucking showed up for us, man! it's a run saver or a run ender. i mean, listen, again, i shouldn't blame you. i literally said, last run, where we won a20,
36:21 or 810 i should say. don't let chat gaslight you into taking colorless rares just because they're cool. i all like no matter any golden colorless card chat goes yeah but if it hits if it hits it's crazy. you have to use your own judgment for that so at least i mean like real shit i've said today let the streamer pick the cards because then when the streamer loses they can only blame themselves.
36:51 you better rack on gina carano. it was literally like a sure thing. i didn't know rhonda was kind of, rhonda came into that with a chip on her shoulder, man. rhonda kept in shape. gina was in shape to act. she was in like a totally acceptable shape to like be din djarin's left hand or whatever she was doing. he passed on some very good cards. most insightful chat message in slay the spire chat history. tv news ass analysis.
37:29 you passed on some very good cards. that is like a video game loading screen message. what if i start the smith's post thing instead? it's so great. don't think this the wrong way. but when people who are like bad at chatting are like real individuals with good taste, it's so crazy to me. because like i'm, i guess, laboring under a fallacy that like if you have good taste in like art, you would also have like good, i don't know.
38:04 insightful messages or something like that but that's obviously false it's not even your fault it's my fault for i mean assuming that in the first place to be honest having good taste equals agreeing with you well the smiths are actually good though there's there's like two objective facts the smiths are good and morrissey sucks but in two different categories even will
38:29 i always loved, we were talking about this in the discord like a couple of months ago, i always loved that one lyric from miami and it's not the one about this is the kind of town i could spend a few days in. it's this thing that rappers sometimes do where they start talking about how much women love them and they just start listing races of women as if it's like it makes them, their appeal seem like so much broader.
38:56 so here, where is it here? every time the ladies pass, they'd be like, hi, will, can y'all feel me? now he shouldn't have said this part, all ages and races. he shouldn't have said all ages, but i think we were willing to give will smith the benefit of the doubt. we're assuming that it's all ages that of course are appropriate. as far as i know, will smith, he did say women, that's true. well, he said ladies.
39:25 can you feel me? when the rapper's in concert and he says, can you feel me? all ages. all ages and races, real sweet faces, every different nation, spanish, haitian, indian, jamaican, black, white, cuban, and asian. has he covered the whole planet at that point? oh man. every time i hear it, it gets me so good.
39:58 middle east is not fucking with will smith. what is crazy is that i feel like will smith would have like a crazy residency in dubai. i feel like he could get like $300 million a year to just do a residency at like a dubai hotel. it's a crazy insult. what i'm suggesting is that i feel like, oh, gotta be careful. the types of tourists who would be like, i'm going to dubai.
40:36 are also the types of people who would maybe say something like my favorite rapper is will smith. that's what i'm suggesting. that's more plus twos than i expected to be honest. i thought i was gonna get in a little bit of trouble. i only came for two days a playing. anytime i come i always wind up staying. this the kind of town that could spend a few days in miami. city that keeps the roof blazing. party in the city when the heat is on. know what i'm talking about?
41:04 no, but i pretend to. you're not alive in 1999? no? that's fucking funny. honestly, they'd have to beat me with jumper cables to get that information out of me. you weren't alive in 1999, nephew? i was six. that's literally the prime demographic for will smith music, to be honest with you. i was in china. if i may, i think china might be fucking with will smith, man.
41:30 especially in the late 90s, i think. i mean, i think in 1999 in shanghai, you might have been walking around hearing like, aha, done it again, y'all. when fish cigarette chats, i sit my ass down and listen, can you do a dog breed tier list? like which ones you like and dislike? yeah, sure, why not? but honestly,
41:58 i got no problem with dogs. i talked a little bit of smack about the owners from time to time, but i got no problem with like most dogs. you gotta remember i'm the type of beast that was saying dogs should be more places. i don't mind seeing a dog at the grocery store. why'd you say most? well, there's a little dog plus owner conundrum sometimes. sometimes they'll see like a really old lady with a huge dog.
42:25 really close to the playground. and i do start doing like the risk management calculation that's like if she she's like in her 70s, if she lets go of that leash and that rottweiler starts to run amok, like what am i going to do? i got to stand up. i know one thing. once they bite, it's really hard to get them off. so i got to clock them in the jaw before he gets the bite force out.
42:54 you would beat up an old lady's dog in public if she let the grip slip. you gotta do what you gotta do to protect your family, yeah? 100%. that's my damn fantasy. man, oh, just if that would happen one time, everyone on the playground would be like, yeah, that guy saved us! that toe walking guy in blundstones and shorts saved us! i walk on my toes too, can you touch your heels to the ground or is it hard?
43:24 in shoes, i mean, if you are going to make fun of me, then that's so fucked up because i'm literally being so nice to you and answering your question honestly. i'm putting my vulnerability in your hands, okay? in shoes, i don't walk heel toe pretty well if i focus on it, but in barefoot or socks, i can't really touch my heel to the ground, to be honest. but the real debuff of being a toe walker is not being able to bend your knees.
43:53 unless you're up on your toes. like i literally the only way i can go parallel is with a back squat because like the weight on the back of my shoulders gives me enough force to like bend my knees deep enough to kick up. you must have really strong calves. librarian get the
44:15 play the video where kate filmed me setting up a tent and then play the graph of the watch time and go look at the most watched part, okay? because the whole video is like flatlined and then there's one huge spike, okay? the cabs are fucking huge. 100%.
44:32 it's the ultimate toe walker video. i don't mean anything by this, i promise, but i've been seeing more and more toe walkers outside. i used to see like once every once a year maybe. i swear i now see one like once every two weeks. don't say it's the tile at all. what i honestly think it is is that in crueler times in society,
44:59 people like me were just mocked so mercilessly that they were like i'm gonna fucking stay inside but now like we're a little bit more open and accessible and friendly so that now they feel more comfortable coming out to like, you know, the board game store and stuff like that mostly the mostly the board game store, but still it's a start favorite board game store. i
45:25 it doesn't matter. they're all pretty good, man. all the ones in vancouver are pretty good. still fucking flicking me, drexel games got renovicted and then nothing took its spot! it's been like two fucking years, nothing took its spot! hey, we're gonna raise your rent! but we can't afford it. get the fuck out of here! now you're making no money, you fucking idiot! like, are you still i don't understand!
45:49 shout out magic stronghold, number one place literally in burnaby by the way, but only by like a centimeter or maybe it's actually west of boundary road. so i'll give it a little bit of credit. maybe it is, maybe it's the last building in vancouver. but either way, number one place to lose to a dude who has like a $14,000 legacy deck and then be like, yeah, well, i'm not sweating, my life's pretty good anyway. and then watch him drive off in like a lamborghini, motherfucker, man.
46:17 you know what i saw too? i was looking up something, sometimes it just happens. i went, okay. oh, i click a link. it takes me to wikipedia for a screenwriter. i see that he's the screenwriter for nirvana, the band, the movie, the show. i go, i don't know that much about matt johnson. let's see when he was born. oh, his new movie tony's coming out. that stars dominic sisa who was obviously in the holdover. so i click on dominic
46:40 and i'm like, oh, what else is he in? okay. like he took a break after the holdovers and did like a christmas movie in winter, 2005 or 2025. that was written by michael showalter. let's click on this movie. and i saw it was a christmas movie that came out on amazon prime video. and i went to the reception and it was like, everybody fucking hated this. um, but in spite of that, it became the number one movie worldwide on amazon prime video.
47:06 we need to come up with another term that puts these streamers in their fucking place, okay? the number one movie worldwide on amazon prime video doesn't fucking mean anything. that's like me describing like, oh this is the number one dinner cooked in my kitchen today. like that's nothing!
47:27 that's not, that's not like best on best competition. you choose what's number one on your fucking website because you advertise it at the top and you go, did you like this? then watch this. and god help you if you fall asleep watching mishima, life in four parts, all of a sudden you're watching some jason momoa slop or some mark wahlberg, josh gad testicular soccer movie when you wake up. why would you, if you like this, you would like this. what are you talking about?
47:54 why do you hate jason momoa? i don't hate him. i just want him to be in a good movie for once. and maybe trim the hair a little bit. he was in dune, yeah, for like two hours. you ever meal prep cereal? could be the move. i'm trying a new technique. it's guy who responds to bait but doesn't take the bait. thus, in my opinion, annoying the baiter.
48:34 exercising my sense of superiority over the baiter. it'll never last? maybe you're right? i get annoyed when someone knocks on the door when i'm baiting? or i get annoyed when someone knocks on my door at all? you're not gonna like what i'm about to say, but just before you call me evil,
48:58 just wait, okay? just give me like a second before you call me evil. i've stopped answering the door unless i know i have a package coming because i got to the point where every single time i answered the door it was like charity canvassers. and the one thing is like i've actually given them some money. the thing that's annoying
49:22 is that the conversation takes so long before they get to the fucking ask. because i think that the script that they get is like, first we've got to give you a spiel to tell you about what this is and here's some things that we've done. the preamble is so long
49:42 that i'm like, it's costing me sometimes it's costing me like 20 minutes just opening the door mostly because if i may i'm too polite to then go i'm not interested goodbye and then just close the door. so i've essentially just stopped opening my door past like i don't know like noon essentially open the door with the 20 in your hand rather they are you sitting down they don't take cash
50:12 sometimes you'll say some shit like, yeah, here's 20 bucks. and they go, well, actually, like our goal today was to get more people with like recurring donations. so if you wanted to like give us $10 a month or something like that instead, like it's so crazy. but can you blame me for not opening the door? because if i open the door eventually that they're going to make me be mean, i'm going to have to be mean. it's probably because the charity doesn't trust the people going door to door. you know what i mean?
50:41 i'm not saying they're not trustworthy, but i could see where they're coming from not wanting the cash. okay, that makes sense. still annoying though. trick is to sell them something back. oh, wait a sec. i was on that like um, post tax clarity wave where i was canceling my subscription to like everything out there. and then i got to my twitch subscriptions and i looked through every single one and i went, no man, i can't.
51:07 obviously i can't cancel my subscription to the people i'm subscribed to. they're literally all my friends who are subscribed to me. and then i thought about it and i went, well, maybe in that case, i shouldn't be so pissed off about software as a service. cuz i'm kinda selling nothing as a service. kinda just existing as a service.
51:40 you do provide a service though. are there any other partnered streamers here? everybody else don't listen. don't you hate when you're being a little bit like, uh, you're making a joke at your own expense and then somebody comes into your chat and starts telling you like your labor is valid? brother, no they're not. look at what we're doing here. come on.
52:01 i'm playing slay the spire and responding to rage bait, man. this is not valid labor. probably like most other labor is valid. this, i'm not totally sure. the jury's, it's at least debatable. there's dignity in all labor? don't be naive. let's love bombing. no! you ever realize you're like truman to some chatters? that's not how the truman show works.
52:29 you can't be truman to some people. your whole life has to be concocted by ed harris in order to be truman. you can't be truman to someone. doesn't even make any sense. they're talking about the president? oh, okay, i guess maybe it does make sense now that i think about it. people got in the hobbies again in a big way post covid. now they need to pump the brakes a little bit, in my opinion.
53:00 cuz i've really been on a long streak of being interested in getting into a hobby and then going to the subreddit for that hobby and being like, i never wanna talk to these people. i don't wanna be associated with these people ever, man. i mean, baking is good. baking is awesome cuz nobody's ever like, i don't want more bread.
53:23 corey came over on sunday. he brought me a chocolate babka like straight out of seinfeld shits awesome and what'd you get him? we bought dinner, but like it's fucked up that you made me say that so now it looks like we bought it because he got us the bob coach is not the case we've got it because he he came over called common, you know decency. did you make him tip? yeah. well, there's no such thing as a free lunch. i
53:54 he did smoke a lot of cigars in our house, which was... i honestly thought it was cool, but kate wasn't fucking with it.
54:02 all i can do is play this and i die by two. i die by four. okay, perfect timing. use parsec? you gotta get the chrome extension. oh, you gotta go where you're using chrome. you gotta download firefox. but if you're gonna use firefox, you might as well be running on linux. yeah, i run linux on my asus rog ally x. you see, it never ends, man! i'm strictly plug and play. i ain't afraid of y2k.
54:28 i'm down with bill... no, i'm not down with bill gates. weird al, you were crazy. how could he have known? how could he have known? he couldn't have known. he couldn't... he was just writing the parody. he couldn't have known. he couldn't have known how it would sound to say, i'm down with bill gates, i call him money for short. he couldn't have known, man. caramel is s tier. i mean, i've said it before, it's like my number one complaint about modern ice cream is there's way too many tea flavors
54:54 need more car and the caramel, oftentimes you can get salted caramel. that's a buff for sure. i kind of like a butterscotch, man. no fucking ice cream baristas with a wolf cut are scooping any bespoke butterscotch these days. shit's always like, we got thai iced tea and vegan pandan. i'm like, fuck, well i'll take one of each, but you guys gonna get like, uh, you guys gonna get some rum raisin at any point?
55:21 brosered ice cream barista? i don't know what the what would you call them? a worker at an ice cream place? now i'm starting to sound like a susanna vega. i approached it to the counter and i asked if i could have some ice cream in a waffle cone i'll take a scoop of butter pecan. no, man. i don't want to be talking like that.
55:47 do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
55:53 this is why you go to chain restaurants instead of artisan places. purple phil, i live in a city where chains have decided it's unprofitable because of commercial real estate. so like the only restaurants that exist are labors of love provided by people who are financially illiterate and have not crunched the numbers to realize there's absolutely no amount of ice cream you could sell that would ever make ends meet. and as a result, you were doing a charitable act going there.
56:19 you are literally evil if you eat at home when you're surrounded by places like this. okay, sure, so how's salt and straw? buddy, we don't have salt and straw. that shit is, that's a bellingham store. if i was going to go across the border right now, which i'm not, i might swing by salt and straw. no, i'm not going to swing by salt and straw because the lineup's too fucking long, bro. i do get the big way hot pot ice cream. although if i can say something, last time i went to big way, they misjudged
56:48 that like when we were done with the hot pot there was like one cabbage leaf left in my wife's hot pot so they were like oh they're not done yet so by the time they came and offered ice cream we were like we have to go and they took it as a personal slight they were like you really don't want ice cream i'm like no man we gotta go like i'm not gonna be holding the ice cream cone in my hand while i'm driving my car it just seems dangerous
57:10 wait, steering wheel cone holder would be awesome if it had like the stabilizers that you could get for cameras. so like as you turn the wheel, no matter what, it keeps the cone upright. wait, that would be, that would be striking imagery.
57:27 what are you guy, dude, if, if a dude on a show got like three scoops of ice cream and then his buddy was like, what are you going to do now? you got to drive. and then he just slotted that shit into like a gimbal ice cream holder.
57:41 that would be fucking awesome. it is like, well, here's the thing. you're not a real judd apatow head. cause you said 40 year old virgin car accessory while in the 40 year old virgin and he drives a bike. okay. he drives a bike from smart tech. there's a lot of movie has not aged well, particularly because of the anti cyclist rhetoric. like ladies will fuck you if you ride a bike. i'm sure probably, probably right. probably that was before steve carell had the hair transplant, but he still, he got catherine keener. he got catherine keener.
58:09 why is kory quiet? mike's a little far away from my mouth because i'm trying to inhale a sandwich. this guy loves eating at noon. kory's eating up a sandwich he has made it for his lunch time he put it in the fridge early in the morning when he made it now he's trying to inhale it fast as he can so he can enjoy it. what the heck is happening in the back?
58:36 new stim just dropped. tom's diner stim just dropped. just a quick question. my joke got iced in the group chat that we were in. did i do something? i must have done something. it was just a little too much.
58:59 why is it that always your book has to work? you saw? it's not, but i believed in this one. it's from an 8'6 shape in bamboo to 86 ing something off of the menu with a smirk emoji. you're telling me that's not heat? you don't 86 anything off the menu in diner bros though.
59:16 you mostly are only in charge of like bringing the dishes to the table. okay, i can also do that. it's just you song has never really met the master of the jokester and now he's getting gate kept by the master of the jokester. he needs a little training. i'm playing in the background right now too. corey, have you ever watched us play this game? nope. before. okay, so there's a mohawk guy in this game.
59:44 he always eats and steals, like doesn't pay. and for some reason ryan did call that mohawk guy corey. so you have to beat up your digital version. wait, is this guy chinese? is this chinese chef? you can't ask that anymore. wait, why can't i not ask that? i'm just saying stuff right now if you're insecure about my joke from earlier.
1:00:12 it's crazy they lost the war when they had general so on their side man, i think you suck should be the chinese chef. that's okay. why?
1:00:25 wait, why? there is a tiny stuff though wait, what's wrong with that? kade, if i wanna go for a if i wanna be a white sona right now, i can have a white sona look at this guy with the glasses that's me! that's me! also now people can dress up as a white person and then the white person can dress up as an asian person did i no, did i tell you i don't use delivery apps that often but i do have a white sona on there my name is tom stevenson because i was scared of predators when i made my account
1:00:54 i said i smoked a lot of cigars at a place on sunday. it was only one or two. but why? where? when? what? no chicks, kory. i told you no chicks when we're smoking cigars. oh shit. that's a dude thing. we're hiding behind the peloton smoking cigars. blowing the smoke into a toilet paper roll with the dryer sheet taped over the end.
1:01:24 so i'm just plugging in my controller. you know, i asked you while you're streaming saying, hey, you song, have you seen our irl mahjong? and then you didn't respond to me. and then so i put out the bait saying how is your male balding pattern treating you? and then you read that!
1:01:47 yeah, cuz that's it i thought your first message was like that. it's kind of messed up, don't you think? i asked with a nice question and the only thing that you mentioned is the metal molding pattern. input is temporary. literal social 1984. is that why you sent us the dm to ice usong's joke? hey, what the hell? hey, what the hell?
1:02:07 i beat the entire first game as this guy. so that's not your guy. that's my guy. kate and i are probably like two of
1:02:23 maybe 72 people on the planet who have beaten all of diner brothers one if i had to guess. holy cow, so there is a burger bros, chicken bros, woke bros. i knew that guy's chinese. i knew it. and donut bros. okay, let's do burger bros. should i lower the game sound even more? there's royalty free avicii playing. plain burger please. i can lower it. plain burger chef.
1:02:52 just give me a second. yo, they're eating the burger with a knife and fork. what kind of establishment is this? this is europe. 100% we're in europe right now. i think he's going with lettuce, man. good pull, good pull. i saw that. that was huge, right? like, i gotta say steam remote playo is a little concerned about the latency. it's going real nice. it's working pretty well, yeah. it's pretty good. we all live in the west coast.
1:03:18 i've never played this before. i'm drink boy. okay. yeah. yeah. yeah. swap with the x button. check it out. they might want blue. you gotta go red or blue. coke or pepsi. which solo cup? why are you changing your hat every time that happens? you're putting yourself in and out of build mode. you're putting yourself in and out of build mode, brother. i don't know. does anybody know what y is on a dual shock controller? like a square. square.
1:03:47 square, isn't it? where? where? triangle is the y. okay, stop being in the build mode so we can play. we have a garbage can so we can get rid of all this trash. no, we're ending the day. we gotta save those burgers. they're still all there, they're good. prep time. yeah, they just go. lettuce and blue lettuce. i'm just gonna keep a lettuce on the pass for you. it seems popular. yeah, it seems to be kind of popular. it's a polo burger. it's a polo burger. apollo burger confirmed.
1:04:16 what's apollo burger playing? he might actually like stuff on his burger now. it's kind of antiquated terminology, but... like a tornade on there? can i get a plain burger please? customers collided? just wait until corey comes out. how did you know that they would want red when they walked in? you know, i got a sixth sense for this kind of stuff. that's why you're the best in the business. did you see how he hot swapped to the red as soon as they walked in? my apm in this game is out of control. dude, i'm the tesla robot.
1:04:47 have you seen the live stream? yeah, which one? you're being controlled by a guy from india or something? no, it was just ai i believe. and they were doing the package. they were doing the human race. human versus robot. oh, the amazon robot. yeah, yeah, yeah. i thought it was tesla robot.
1:05:11 yahoo! this guy wants a burger. oh my god, he said yahoo! what the fuck? yo, that's... that is tomato, please. you can't say that in 2026, ryan. look at him. why, you think construction worker wants burger? he's a blue collar worker, he's got a col yeah, what did i tell ya? what did i tell ya? oh my god. i bet he wanted swiss cheese on that shit.
1:05:37 i remember working as a barista and you have to like kind of you know wipe down the tables with a rag and i was one time i just got like the the soapy wet rag like just all over someone i was not a good employee. what's the most fun drink to make? uh, you know, i once accidentally made latte art of a leaf while making a latte and they were like oh, this is lovely and i was like, thank you, but it was just by total accident. so that was a lot of fun
1:06:04 because i was gonna be like the empathetic coffee orderer and order whatever the most fun drink to make is. so now i'll just go in and say, hey can you make me a latte with a leaf on it? a drip coffee. we did because it had a kitchen but the baristas were in charge of making paninis. the people who ate my paninis, i hope they're still alive. i was so bad at making paninis.
1:06:27 it was awful. how can you be bad at making a panini? i don't know but it never felt good. it never felt like were you like dropping it on the floor stepping on it and then like never anything that was like actually unsafe. but i don't like a gomorrah funko pop. she's not looking so good. can we move the drinks to like, just because i keep grabbing them. yeah, yeah. cool. i like how it's a store front of our restaurant now looks like the back of a drink machine.
1:06:58 oh, you know what you're getting when you walk in the door then. oh shit, did i just throw my salad? we need lettuce. i can't focus. there's a great drop happening in the music. tomato burger incoming. thank you glastonbury. like this shit goes hard, you know? we made it y'all. we made it. i'm stressed out. this is very stressful. lettuce burger. i did serve them salad that was on the floor, but i don't think they mind it.
1:07:38 they don't know what they don't know. it doesn't hurt them. yeah so what is the meta for the kitchen always have a patty going? well, you kind of need like everything prep like one ahead okay, and then how would you feel if someone just opened the store early every day because they didn't understand that why are you in the kitchen? oh my god, you try your best to help when you get yelled at what's on the floor? you got onion lettuce on the floor move move move move
1:08:09 we got this. there's the phone. wait, if we get a phone, does that mean? we got to do uber eats orders now? someone's gonna call and be like, i'll take 28 cheeseburgers, please. we don't have cheese yet. should i put the phone inside here? front of house. got to handle the phone. yeah. okay. this **** plant out of here.
1:08:39 he's putting the plate outside. it's our only decor. yeah, let's go. oh, we can get more customers. he can drink soda. wait, that would be so good. hey, we've got open tables right now. if you guys are interested in coming by. yeah, we just added fries to the menu. have you heard about our fries? we got salad burgers, onion burgers.
1:09:05 i'm hungry can i order burger for lunch? it doesn't make you hungry. do you also want burger? salad please. i'll take my yuzh. chicken tendy? yes please mom. salad please. did you say mon or? i said mon. yes mon yes mon. you said mon or mom. either way. ktfk or something. oh she's ordering i guess.
1:09:35 how did you know? usually it was like five chicken tendies. that's that's kind of clearing me out but yeah. you're not gonna get the 10 piece with the the huntrix cards? oh we already got the full set. hell yeah dude. no we don't. we don't even have a single one. salad please. what? i got it. i ordered the burger. leaves.
1:09:58 with the fuck you sauce or whatever they're selling. leaves, fries, salad. the demon sauce, kory! it's a children's movie. yeah, demons are better. it's much better than fuck you sauce! people be talking like that these days though. should i get some more counter? we put one counter behind the drink machine for sure. i don't know if ryan wants more back behind him. i'm doing alright. i'm gonna get the lux. i mean with the prices we're charging? yeah.
1:10:28 we're recharging for a burger. it's like 40 bucks for the construction. we're going to get a salad and a burger. that's how you know this game is european. so true. so true. we're not serving any aiolis with the fries to truly europe next. you know, a hundred percent they're going to be dipping their french fries in mustard. it's going to be... you mean mayonnaise. that's why you do. i know. salad, please. like hella salads. uh oh. and i don't even know how to... okay, mustard. yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:10:55 there's a thief coming you some there's a thief coming. oh, yeah, look at him. he's dressed up maybe we should hey, maybe we should worry about the customers we have he's coming in you saw profiling the guy dressed in a thief costume i don't know what to do with this. i don't know what to do with this plate. okay, i
1:11:26 onion burger with tomato. it's difficult to describe that one. foliage burger is, i don't know, kind of close. look at this. foliage burger is the worst way you could possibly describe it if it doesn't have the others on it. hey, hey. i'm gonna make some calls. and then if someone wants to run a fries out here, i wouldn't be opposed to that. orders up, chef. thank you. fuck. there's like hella people in my way right now. wrong guy, wrong guy, wrong guy. he threw lettuce on the ground.
1:11:56 how do you kory you were boxing me out for 13 and a half years i have of course i gotta throw lettuce on the ground. well, you're holding a whole head of lettuce yeah, cuz i couldn't get to the place where i wanted the tomato burger ready to go librarian added to the compilation of use on crash outs rana house and back a house always beefing man. oh
1:12:21 i need some onions, onion tomato burger, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions
1:12:46 sorry to get based with it. can i get a lettuce burger? you hit the thog, hit the thog. you sunk. what? you didn't hit the thog. that's a punk. onions burning. that is a great day. onions burgers ready? lettuce burger please. lettuce burger is ready. look at this. and then salad. this is a great day. i hit the flow state in there. i hit the flow state big time.
1:13:13 i've never checked out and like just stared at the corner of the game. oooooooh! oh my god. yo kory silent mvp let's go. he's wiping his damn sweat. these onions don't give me any more to do with onions. double patty! should we get some more counter? yeah we need more counter back here for sure. the locks one nice nice. the more space we can prep burgers on the better i think.
1:13:43 this is great. can i get phone burger followed by salad burger? phone burger? phone burger? hey, we got there. you know what i mean? i'm not in the i'm not to the meta here man. i don't know what you guys are fucking talking about phone burger is just uh, i mean it's a burger. it's a burger hitting the phone. yeah leaves incoming i'm not having a conversation every second double leaves. um, i don't know what this burger is for
1:14:12 that's a tomato lettuce salad! that's a tomato lettuce salad! that's a tomato lettuce salad, sorry. wires got crossed. wires got crossed. well it's the first time we've ever seen that. someone in here is on keto. oh fuck! mother fucker man. mother fucker. and then um, the weirdest veggie burger you've ever seen. guacamole burger. you know what i mean? put it on the left one. put it on the left one. put it on the left one. cooked onions on the left. thank you. um. thank you. uh, keto salad. um, followed by lettuce burger please.
1:14:42 fucked up burger. put that bun in there. fucked up guacamole burger. thank you. and then we don't have avocado, what do you mean? keto salad, keto salad incoming. keto salad. the nomenclature. thank you for the keto salad. doesn't need a bun. yellow. i need onion ring. salad burger. thank you. plain burger. i dropped salad burger on this guy and i can't get it. my god, can i get a salad burger again? i'm so sorry. delivered the leaves and we're ready to go.
1:15:15 okay can i get forgive this burger? thank you, i'm really gonna try not to fuck it up. okay, um tomato burger onion burger onion burger oh my god, man, bitch, i can't even hit this person right now. i'm a lag burger right now. i heard it i say put the onions like
1:15:49 and then what if you put okay. yeah, yeah, yeah. that's pretty good. that's pretty good. wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, though. wait, no, wait. what's up? what's going on? what i was thinking is like, you got me in like a little flex position over here. now that's an architecture burger right there. what's going on?
1:16:25 this is fucked up. this is this is take this counter. kitchen island. i love it. well, you're blocking the way though. so we can't go up here. what's wrong with that? but like you'd like this set up with the two lanes in the middle is so peak because two people this is what i was saying. yeah, this is what i was saying. we didn't need i don't know if we needed all that space but now we can put more counter down here. i don't think the counter the top left is doing much to people can grab off it.
1:17:07 okay, okay peak peak lanes. what are we setting up for baron? i don't know the reference i should be glad i don't know the reference i thought we were done. i thought we were done like i have to get through see good luck everyone. i think i hate this immediately i'm gonna get all time burger burger
1:17:44 some of these men all time burger veggie burger. there's a order on the bottom and then veggie burger with with me thank you for the bottom order common throwing like a slight change into things let me go let me go to betty's not about right there or not on a plate. sorry. there you go. oh i
1:18:16 fucked up keto by the way. fucked up keto, we're fucked man. we're fucked, we're fucked, we're fucked. thank you for that. you saw the keto? oh wait, the keto's at the end. yeah, yeah, yeah. can i get a patty on this thing? nope. okay. please! okay, onion rings. oh no, we're fucked. oh no, oh no. well, our life's over. huge. can i get double onion please? onion rings.
1:18:48 what does double onion mean? double petty onion burger! double petty onion burger! that's gonna happen. there it is. what about mid autominal double onion, do you not understand? okay. um, fucked up, uh, fucked up disaster in oh no, oh no. what the fuck? i got like 20 plates in my hand! plain burger! serve for serve, you saw! you saw what you were doing! you're not serving! there was 10 seconds where i was caught unaware.
1:19:20 alright, well now the rush we can't have that in this business! can i get a can i get a fucking friendship burger once in a while as well? just a reminder that it's a friendship burger? there you go. double burger is on the left. the fuck, he won't put it down. double tomato, double patty. what the can you serve? you saw. kate, i'm literally you're blocking me from serving. lettuce, lettuce. oh my god.
1:19:48 the biggest lag burger there ever was. big red, big red. ready to go. can i get fries burger? and by that i just mean fries. i need double patty onion quick. a sap. salad, a sap. salad, a sap. that salad ain't making it but i'm gonna try. fries, a sap. well obviously those aren't gonna go. oh shi can we get a fifth player? can we get a fifth player? can we get a justin burger please? well, we gotta see which means we failed.
1:20:17 yeah. well, it's two o'clock. it's two o'clock. it is two o'clock. damn. that went fast. oh, that was a great enjoyment. i feel like i put in two hours of work. real work. i was like straight out of the bear. i felt it. thanks for playing, guys. yeah, no, i know. i just go angry fun. it's really good for the codes. we serve last five days satisfaction. 67%. 67.
1:20:49 hey, that's kind of messed up man. good night. don't bother me. don't take the number one business that fails. bye. good night. bye. bye. all right chat. i'm going to send you over to my wife's stream. enjoy yourself. i'll be back tomorrow. tomorrow i think we're playing whatever we want and then king of tokyo at noon. they're coming out with a king of tokyo, the board game that you know and love from richard garfield who hates mondays. they're coming out with the digital version and we're going to be playing it.
1:21:20 everybody's talking about it. well for now i'm gonna go eat some lunch. later! have you seen slackers? i don't think i can imagine any other streamer who might have seen it. have i seen slackers? what a ridiculous question. i love you but i hate you which brings to mind how much i love you we could have worked things out, you know in my little room
1:21:50 in my little locked room i'm sorry that you had to settle for dave the one dimensional man he's filed under cocksucker in my little black book sweetness can rot your teeth bittersweet cacophony
1:22:18 you hold the key, you hold the key. you think i don't know every word from slackers? devin sarwa, jason schwartzman. kind of insane this information occupies space in your brain. yeah, no i agree. i think that sometimes when i like, i hear a song, usually like during a peloton ride, i'll hear a song that i've literally not heard.
1:22:48 since like 1998 and i still know like 80% of the words. i'm like, what are you doing in there?