Colm, cool, collected (Miscellaneous)

Name: Colm, cool, collected (Miscellaneous)
Uploaded: 2026-07-19
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Colm, cool, collected (Miscellaneous)" (Miscellaneous) — 157 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-19Miscellaneous

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0:00 only for the rest of the stream. i think this is the french connection, man. this looks like the french connection to a beast like me. sailing. i mean, you gotta try jaws. it's not jaws. he's on a boat that's clearly collapsing. it appears to be from the 1980s or not, because that's billy zane? that's billy zane with hair and sam neill and nicole kidman. am i tweaking, man?
0:40 what could this be? sam neill, jurassic park, at the mouth of madness, event horizon with the damn casio. oh, it's such, and i mean this, the aura's off the charts. i literally, i just don't know this movie, man. sam neill, navy officer. i'm gonna say it's like in the line of duty or something. in the line of fire. the answer was dead, i just don't, god is my witness, i just don't know it, man. to be honest with you, fair enough.
1:17 you can't say, come on, the information doesn't exist in my brain. there was nothing to find, bro. billy zane terrible in that movie? you should listen to your friend billy zane. he's a cool guy. he just wants what's best for you. zoolander. quincy inunua led this afc team in receiving yards in 2016. cleveland browns?
1:50 with only four fingers on his shooting hand, this latvian power forward spent three seasons with the spurs before averaging a career high 15.4 points per game with the 2020 wizards. i've obviously got absolutely no idea. are you bobin marjanovic? doesn't sound like a latvian name to be honest. could be lebron james. could be lebron james.
2:15 kurt schilling didn't make his first all star game until he was 30 while pitching for this national league team in 1997. i only know him for kingdoms of amalur and the boston red sox. in the national league, he was pitching for the atlanta braves. okay, we tried. the phillies. living from 1606 to 1669,
2:45 this famous dutch painter was known for works like the night watch self portrait susanna and the return of the prodigal son. take a flyer that's been soon banged. oh, it's embarrassing. that's cameron diaz. this is not embarrassing. that's mark wahlberg and cameron diaz. cameron diaz, of course, she played her face card and mark wahlberg, i'd recognize the hair transplant anywhere. the bottle version of this brand of belgian pilsner
3:16 comes in a vibrant green bottle with a red and white color scheme label and a white and gold paper collar. i feel like this is stella artois. it's stella artois, absolutely. originating out of south korea. physical 100, bro. sorry, i read too fast in my head. they should not do an american remake of physical 100, bro.
3:48 joaquin phoenix and john travolta played baltimore firefighters in this 2004 disaster film. we had it in box office game. it's called, i want to say it's called rescue dawn. it's not called rescue dawn. oh, it's ladder 49. oh,
4:15 this rapper's first top 10 billboard hot 100 hit was, this must be drake, right? because it's the best i ever had. i think even i know that one. yeah, yeah. bad things. i know that one. i don't talk to drake heads. you get nothing. pay attention. bro, toronto has way more cryptids than vancouver. we got a couple cryptids, but toronto has zanta, ttc leprechaun, drake,
5:05 trying to think. the glove guy? glove guy as far as i know is from halifax. doug ford. who do we have in vancouver? roller girl. opera guy. that might be it for all i know. i might fucking be one for all i know, man. i might be vancouver cryptid for all i know. paul tawakker spotted again. hudson williams. let me think about this. point break.
6:03 dot made these are different types of printer maybe dot matrix jet. this is like trying to this is a red herring. maybe the printer thing is a red herring, a clay mask, spot remover, eye cream and toner. these would seem like elements of a skincare routine. all right, that's tough. maybe spot remover is not part of your skincare routine. maybe, maybe it would be toner peel, eye cream, clay mask.
6:50 that makes more sense. spot remover is like a mr. clean magic eraser. period piece. period piece. charcoal. jet black, charcoal black. pitch black. ink. ink black. shades of black. shades of blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
7:34 i can't even, i was thinking about hitting the next phrase and i just said i don't think my voice has it in it. it could ruin the rest of the stream man. point break. this is very interesting. point break. it's a kathryn bigelow movie with patrick swayze and keanu reeves. it's if you invert the order of the words it's something you get from tennis. clockwork laser could be deadlock related. dot matrix. things with
8:13 pixels, things with things with made of light, things with gears, characters from the show reboot. i mean i feel like these are somehow related. you could use these to like remove a tattoo. i don't know if you can use a needle or just spot remover to remove a tattoo. well can i just say these are all like two words which makes me think they must be related.
8:49 starting with tiny marks. dot period point spot. okay. alright bud, alright. associated with precision. okay fair enough.
9:11 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. first time watching live. i love watching youtube. love hearing you mention calm, fjor and his aquiline nose. he's actually my uncle. so whenever you mention him or his movies like bonk hop, bad cop or 32 films about glenn gould, i laugh so hard. i'd love it if you include him in movie to movie. yo, next time, it's a shame that canada day weekend has already passed. if you see your uncle on thanksgiving, tell him that i think the 32 short films about glenn gould might be the best canadian film ever made.
9:41 just make sure that atom egoljan is not there. because i don't want to... because he's going to be like, what about the sweet hereafter? and i'm going to have to be like, i haven't seen it because it's... i mean, i think i got to be in the right head space to watch that movie, to be honest with you. but it's going to be awkward. well, he's going to be like, what about speaking parts? and i thought it was pretty good, but there's no 32 short films about glenn gould.
10:11 you should tell him though because i feel like not a lot of people know about 32 short films about glenn gould. it's like only old canadian people watching that movie, myself included. also, i love that you said i try to include him in movie to movie, but i got to think because, whoa, glenn gould, i forgot you're right. it played yesterday in the 41 seat theater. i got the email from the cinematheque. yo, samurai, that's awesome. based on what you've omitted
10:41 from your text, which was your opinion on the movie. i'm guessing you didn't love it. it didn't resonate with you as much as it resonated with me, which is fine. that being said, how am i going to include calm fjor in movie to movie today? i have to, because he's in the chronicles of riddick. he plays the main evil alien in the chronicles of riddick. what i'm trying to think of what else i can connect him through, man,
11:07 i don't necessarily want to funnel everything through the chronicles of riddick. he's in the informant. oh, he's in with the exclamation mark? the informant? i believe that's tone 2, nephew. i guess tone 2 is more of a question. just making shit up anyway, who cares? he's in face off? is he in... that's right, he's the surgeon in face off who does the... oh, and he's in chicago!
11:43 nupur sharma versus x. i'm gonna say x gets, i say it gets about 124 million searches a month. i'm gonna say that's more than the tampa bay rays translate's gotta be 80 million a month. holy shit. it's half a billion. toy story you know my ass is trying to translate that fucked up font regardless i can't read that translate's something went wrong refresh
12:37 more or less. more or less, we gotta figure it out, man. we gotta figure it out. it's been happening a lot! it's been happening an awful lot, okay? and i don't trust the spotify streams to begin with. not just... it's not because i get bad scores on them. it's because of the fact that i think, like, it drastically underrates k pop for some reason.
13:05 that one time that it said that twice had 19 million streams a month. i was like no shot, bro. because anytime i accidentally say a word that is the name of someone in twice, a thousand people in my chat go, that's my bias. so i refuse to believe that they're not getting at least 40 million a month. wi fi is going to get... wi fi, no, bro. wi fi does not get less searches than toy story. it doesn't happen.
13:42 mark ronson's clearing jack harlow. jack harlow doesn't have a uptown funk. it's that simple. it's jack harlow. hans zimmer, obviously, he's pulling numbers. it's migos. it's one direction. we're locked the fuck in today. yeah, it's one direction, man. easy mode. gonna be the lion. oh, that's the riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
14:24 okay, there's no shot that an anthony mackie movie i've never heard of is any good. so we're gonna go justice league on this one that's just context. captain marvel is is completely fine. it should clear synchronic at least truman show should be in the mid eights maybe and then this one's always tough because i i really think this is the worst of the new three spider man and certainly worse than the truman show but that doesn't mean that it's
14:56 rated worse than the truman show, but i think it probably is. 8.1. okay. the oldest book in existence or the boba fett action figure that's actually the black lotus. i'm going to say the world's oldest book. something went wrong. something went wrong. try again. please try again or return to the homepage. alrighty. now this is crazy because i have absolutely no idea
15:43 hey, enel, are you ready to annoy the shit out of your wife tonight? tomorrow is national get out of the doghouse day. yeah! so i almost forgot. finally, it's back. it's been a year already? can you read their username? let me check. let me check. no, i think i can't. i think it's already passed by in the chat. it's gone. i'm sorry. i'm sorry to say.
16:29 that's july 20th anyway. you almost cost me four fucking days of resentment, bro. what the fuck? that would have been a disaster. one night i can tank, but four days? i gotta be in hell, bro. 50 pounds of sugar. so sugar is obviously really, really cheap. but 50 pounds of sugar. i mean, how much is sugar per pound, man? could it be 10 cents a pound?
17:17 nah, nah couldn't be. but it could be 30 cents a pound which would make this $14.99. okay, i'm actually kind of relieved it's more expensive. 30.99? 30.99? okay, i can't let you sucrose. i got recognized at a coffee shop on tuesday.
17:56 and person who recognized me, a, insNLy nice, but b, the first thing they brought up was i saw the clip of you laughing at the mma guy who said, i can't let you get close. and it was really funny. and i said, i think i said, don't even say it cause i won't be able to not laugh in here. don't even get me started, man. so i was, i think that stream might be one of the hardest times i've ever laughed because
18:31 at first there was, i can't let you get close. and then there was even just people typing the transcript has me laughing already, but corey as the horses balls in mecha chameleon. oh man, possessed skeleton is really good too. i mean, it's not, and cato caught slip and straight mustard face. i mean like these are all classics, but the zikistan, one day.
19:13 oman oh god. oh man. oh god. i thought that's that's yemen probably gonna be around here then it's probably gonna be some malta type shit not malta malta malta malta how about poland all in cooler but but not by a ton. maybe we're looking at what you go no, and closer to oman than to portugal malta and poland closer though your turn
19:58 closer to poland than tunisia, east indochinia, republic of dominica. it doesn't exist? it's close to malta and poland. so it, because here's where i'm, something there, it's a non contiguous border because it's closest to malta, which is right here, but then fourth closest to tunisia, even though tunisia is essentially right next to malta.
20:41 and that is what it was, this, this, this, and then this, which is, it seems to make no sense at all. i'm gonna try like a turkey. it's 130, maybe it's just a mercator, a standard mercator moment, man, i don't know. is it like, is it cyprus? is it greece? is it iraq?
21:21 closer to cyprus. okay, it's palestine. it's 60 kilometers from palestine. it's jordan. it's syria. syria's adjacent. it's israel. it's lebanon. lebanon. it's lebanon. okay. they were putting me through the ringer, bro. holy cow. i'm still like, is this a mercator moment? how could it be
22:01 i think it is. i think this is like almost exactly equidistant from all four of the countries that were closest. so the malta could be closest but then also poland somehow closer than tunisia which is insane. mercators for flat maps, this is a globe. bro, i have a flat monitor. think for a second, okay? of course it's a 3d globe projected on a 2d plane.
22:49 did you hear the p word? projected. tfw, no spherical monitor. i hate that you're right. i'm the thinker sometimes. this has to be estonia. you knew it's, well, it was fucking one of us. it's latvia. it's a country in northern europe that i would mistakenly call scandinavian and then find out that it's not scandinavian. it's baltic. you must be lithuania then.
23:43 you must be a fucking belarus, bro. stings a little bit. i did not look at chad. what i finally looked at was the fact that all of these are really close together and they were 1400 kilometers away from the result. you know what thousand kilometers is a lot? yeah, maybe in your country. our country that's days drive, maybe days drive, basically take you from where i live to penticton. can't believe there was a there was a point in my life where i was
24:51 considering driving from vancouver to penticton to watch the canucks prospects play the flames prospects, what the fuck was wrong with me, bro? what was i thinking? a, thank god i didn't go. but b, also knowing how that core turned out, i mean, it would have been a supreme waste of time. it would have been an unbelievable waste of my time just to watch a bunch of people who aren't that good at hockey play.
25:22 in an arena that was probably kind of sucks. they needed me. yeti, now you're just posting bob dylan lyrics. look, i love shelter from the storm, man. i think it's a great song. i think it's a very fitting end to blood on the tracks. hunted like a crocodile ravaged in the corn. come in, she said, i'll give you shelter from the storm. but i thought you would be putting a little sauce on it or something like that instead of just lyrically posting.
26:16 anyway, june 2, 2006. i'm literally like two weeks away from graduating high school. universal opens to $39 million. starring jennifer aniston. starring jennifer aniston pre horrible bosses. starring jennifer aniston. romantic comedy? it's called the breakup. pick a side. no fence sitting in my jennifer aniston movies. 20th century fox, week two with $175 million. x men 3.
26:54 the last stand. i saw that in theaters, that's easy. might be a ricky bobby in here somewhere. bruce willis from 2006. it's one year prior to die hard 4 and several years on from unbreakable. it's an animated movie with bruce willis. get over it. this must be over the hedge, which i've never seen, but fair enough. gary shanling too, huh? sony pictures
27:24 not a spider man year. so what are we cooking up with sony pictures starring tom hanks two years after the terminal, one year after road to perdition? oh, this is the da vinci code. i saw it in theaters, bro. it's the da vinci code. and then paramount had a... there was a lot of blockbusters going on for better or for worse. then tom cruise 2006, two years post collateral.
27:55 pre ah, no, you know what? there's a chance this is mission impossible 3. huge. time? stacked week at the box office today? uh, in terms of the amount of money they were making, but yeah, it was like, i mean, as x men the last stand, just a total disappointment and a piece of garbage. insane that they remade this movie because it sucked so bad the first time, and then made the new remake even worse. and then the da vinci code movie, not good.
28:36 but you know if you're my age, the da vinci code was like, it was 6'7". the da vinci code was everywhere. every newspaper was talking about the da vinci code 24 7. everyone you know was reading the da vinci code at all times. so of course i saw it in theaters and i was like, it's not very good. but that was how i felt when i was 17 anyway. i probably love it now because i'm old, but i'm not that familiar with the rest of them, including mi3 honestly.
29:12 it was a good one though. saw a lot of movies that summer, man. movie to movie. this time we're putting swanky on ice for today. and we're connecting by a calm fjor bro who's in face off. just give me a damn second. we got the burbs, of course. how many damn howards are there, man? burbs, of course. tom hanks. bruce dern. who is this how i find out bruce dern has died? because this is not the bruce dern that i know. carrie fisher.
30:08 she's been in some stuff. you know what? hear me out here. carrie fisher is in austin powers 1. and then feeling like there's got to be like a seth green, nicolas cage connection or a will ferrell nicolas cage connection or a clint howard nicolas cage connection. larry thomas, of course, the soup nazi. a lot of seinfeld actors in austin powers 1, man. you're the tour guide at global corp. i remember that.
30:47 theo vaughn was in it. tom arnold, you show that turd who's boss. just hear me out here. tom arnold is in a parody of scary movie that's called like shriek if you know what i did last friday the 13th. so let's see who's in this. just haven't thought about it in a long time. simon rex from scary movie 3, of course. beans, i believe that's beans. dinomites, it's a star studded cast.
31:23 goes without saying. let's go with simon rex. we'll go to scary movie 3. i'm trying to think of some shit. nicolas cage hasn't been in that many movies. it's part of the problem. give me like anna faris on this one. am i not? oh, she's in smiley face. it's not called happy face. and then nicolas cage, of course.
31:52 let's look at what nicolas cage has been. face off with john travolta. hard to believe danny trejo is probably in an expend... he's not in any expendables, bro. he's in machete with steven seagal, right? nicolas cage. nicolas cage. he's in face off. he's in willy's wonderland. he's in leavin' las vegas. what the fuck? he's in... that's about all he's done. tom savini, of course, is in...
32:34 the quentin tarantino movie with the vampires from dusk till dawn. nicolas cage, of course, not in this, but what kind of looks like quentin tarantino a little bit, a little bit. and then also surely has been in a movie with someone who's been in a movie with george clooney. he's been, he's in adaptation with brian cox, who's in x men 2. george clooney in x men 2? i don't think so. nicolas cage, wait, i'm getting somewhere. nicolas cage is in matchstick men.
33:23 with allison loman who's in drag me to hell with justin long who plays the doctor in idiocracy which has dax shepard from without a paddle with seth green. so we go savini to whatever this movie was that's going to be machete to danny trejo smiley face anna faris scary movie 3 simon rex
34:00 shriek if you know what i did last friday the 13th. tom arnold, austin powers, seth green, without a paddle, dax shepard, idiocracy, justin long, drag me to hell, allison loman, matchstick men, nicolas cage, face off, calm fiore. oh, that's glenn, man. that's glenn, that's glenn. and then,
34:39 i mean we don't have to exit via faceoff, we can exit via anything man. we want to get to enola holmes 3, a movie i know a lot about. what have you been up to lately? calm? of course the bonkop bad cop movies. damn. at the stratford festival, king lear. he was in the amazing spider man 2. house of versace, not to be confused with house of gucci. oh he is the bad guy from the first thor, man. he's been doing stuff. hamlet's solo with calm, fjor?
35:15 alexander hamilton? dude, have you guys ever seen this? how'd you get fixated on colm feore? he's a great actor and also he's a chatter's uncle. i feel like we're just gonna go back to colm on this one. yeah, what the fuck? why do they got a white guy playing alexander hamilton? that's ridiculous, man. wait, wait, this is cqeen colm feore's in city of angels, bro! with nicolas cage who's in face off with colm feore!
35:59 who's in city of angels with nicolas cage? you could do it. you could do a circle. wait, i'm trying to figure out where i want to go from here. maybe dennis franz to blow out to john lithgow to that one planet of the apes movie he did. we're trying to get to henry cavill or really bobby brown, i think. henry cavill, of course. henry cavill, of course. then in other things, then mission impossible
36:44 fallout. but that's a really good one. he's also been in the witcher tv show for a minute or whatever. you know what james franco to this is the end to danny mcbride to tropic thunder, the tom tommy cruise to mission impossible fallout. boom. i don't think you could do it any faster than that, bro. it's that simple. worst line ever. bro, your shit doesn't have fucking calm in it. it certainly doesn't have two columns.
37:33 swanky washed well, we're calm posting now. we're switching it up to combs to smiley they had a pair of a lot to be honest, which means it in true algebraic terms you can just cancel them out. so we basically got it in one boston. that's not boston. that's the st. louis blues i was gonna say the boston blues you are gonna be tony twist 75 penalty minutes. that's tony twist, bro anaheim ducks 75 penalty minutes in a season bradco goudis. i
38:18 motherfucker, washington capitals. okay, i'll do what everyone else is going to do. i'll put tom wilson there. i don't mind. let's just get the grids filled out. and then the rest of these, i don't really care about finding someone who was on both of these teams. i debased myself and just typed chris pronger. chris, $100 million is actually not a lot of money once you realize you have to pay taxes and buy a new car every year. pronger? you know?
38:49 i only recently found out the nba also has a chris pronger, who is a player or a former player that's actually like a lot of people don't realize that making $40 million a year isn't actually that much money because you got to maybe pay like 20 million in taxes. and then when you factor in like all the other expenses that you get, like you might only have like maybe like 10 or 12 million at the end of the year.
39:18 and then i just don't know anybody who's ever played for the columbus blue jackets, except for rostislav klesla, but apparently he did not play for the ducks. so it's me, man. finding out that klesla played 14 years in the nhl is kind of freaking me out. pierre luc dubois, forgot about pld. not the pld. g double a g. introvert ass team should have traded kiril marchenko to the habs.
40:12 are late blooming prospects versus their reclamation projects. you know what i'm saying? because i know the kraken and the canucks are talking about how to get shane right.
40:23 who was drafted like 20th overall three years ago and the kraken are like he was drafted 20th overall so you got to give us like you got to give us someone good and then the canucks are like he only got 50 points last season what about all the prospects that we have given up on that we think totally suck ass and a third round pick or something like they were they're not the fans are never gonna find a way man fourth overall right well okay but he probably would take him 20th now right every
41:01 trade proposal you get from another fan base. the title is always who says no and then the trade is the most insulting trade you've ever seen. like i get canucks fans don't do this louis debrusk in a second. what do you mean bro why would they take louis debrusk? we want to get rid of louis debrusk or jake louis debrusk is the broadcaster. we want to get rid of jake debrusk
41:27 he's a decent player and we want to be bad, but he's not a good player. he's not turning the kraken around, bro. doesn't he have the same points as shane wright last season? but he's older and makes more money? show the kraken a little bit of respect at least. anyway. adam driver. adam driver. title starts with ip. title starts with the. double letter word in the title. i'm so pissed off i can't play tiny furniture. hey, fuck you, man. you know what though?
42:12 patterson. patterson doesn't have a double letter. it does start with a p though. patterson, i know this bus is driven by you. any elvis costello fans in the audience? yes, man, yes. could be elvis, elvis easter. elvis easter, that was pretty good. i know a couple elvis costello songs.
42:51 little contagious. willem dafoe, you gotta play inside, even though everyone knows inside and will play it. double letter word in the title for willem dafoe, the bridges of motherfucking madison county. is he in that? doesn't have a double letter word in the title. i was thinking of mississippi burning anyway, which does have a double letter, but does it have willem dafoe? how about bro? bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. must be repeated in the same word. i was so close to playing to live and die in la. i think willem dafoe's in mississippi burning.
43:24 that's right. willem dafoe title contains the boondock saints. it's kind of crazy willem dafoe is in the boondock saints and american psycho. like he's in both of the like, and i actually if i may, i think boondock saints is really not good, but i think american psycho is actually pretty good. but
43:56 the lens of it was a little different in like the year 2005 when you would meet a guy and be like, hey my two favorite movies are the boondocks, saints and american psycho. but it's kind of crazy that willem dafoe was in both of them. kind of surprising. that was every guy? well there were two guys. there was the boondocks, saints, american psycho guy and then there was the wedding crashers guy. the long tail of the wedding crashers is very sad to me.
44:32 because from 2004 to about 2008, certified comedy classic. and now people are making fun of it? now people are making fun of the wedding crashers. they're saying the... oh, they're saying it hasn't aged well. oh shit, i'm that guy. built so fly in a silk bow tie. ah, the meatloaf! i never know what she's doing. he died in a hang gliding accident. what an idiot. i'm flying, i'm flying. oh, i'm dead.
45:16 that's a, that's a fucking movie. we need a disney live action remake of the wedding crashers, man. with chris pratt and glenn powell. and then, let me think, i'm still working on it. still working on it. with zendaya and tom holland, exactly. gotta have my chris. i gotta have my pratt. winona ryder with a double letter word in the title, that's easy. i believe in mr. deeds. look for the man in the middle, the one who sounds like doolittle.
45:52 and then i to p they did that deliberately so i couldn't just get heather's title starts with the ijk lmnop. so i'm looking at winona ryder, heather's, mr. deeds, destination wedding, reality bites, girl interrupted. she doesn't fit. this is fucking hard man. how else has winona done? but there was a pretty good
46:30 why not? i should have played mr. deeds over here and then girl interrupted over here. duh, i have no idea man. okay, but adam driver, we can do this shit man. i don't can dwell. okay, i'll do it. someone's got to do it. and double letter word in title for adam driver will simply play black klansman. actually a triple letter word in the title but
47:04 i gotta give up on winona. what am i missing here? the age of it? oh, okay. first off, i did forget about bram stoker's francis ford coppola's dracula, but that doesn't fit in either as well. i did forget that she was in beetlejuice to be fair. spoilers, bro. fucking spoilers. there's light in the lighthouse. triple x state of the union? willem dafoe? triple x state of the union? keanu's so cold in that one, like a frigid breeze. i know where the bastard sleeps.
47:46 edmilf manor, what is it? downton abbey, carfax abbey. i know where the bastard sleeps. i hate ai, man. could you listen? you would, and i shouldn't give them the secret, you could stop so much of the ai hate if you just make it stop talking like a fucking moron. i searched, i know where the bastard sleeps.
48:20 careful or you might end up sounding like keanu reeves in bram stoker's dracula. are you actually putting together a bram stoker's dracula on imdb movie marathon or hunting a different kind of monster tonight? let me know if you need any tickets or info. yeah, i need info. i need the link to the youtube video where the motherfucker says, i know where the bastard sleeps! obviously, that's what i need! can i get the perfection of an english accent?
48:58 i'll attend to the count. my name? i'll attend to the count. i know where the bastard sleeps. i brought her there. to carfax abbey. that's it, that's it right there. i know where the bastard sleeps. i brought him there. to carfax abbey. i know where the bastard sleeps. i brought her there. to carfax abbey. that's good stuff, man. he can really act?
49:42 he's a hell of a john wick and neo. i couldn't be neo. i think i could be jonathan harker. to be honest with you, i think i could be jonathan harker. i think i would bring a certain interesting, a different sort of interpretation of the jonathan harker character to the performance, to be honest. what about constantine? no, i couldn't be constantine. you could be cipher.
50:12 i have like cypher's body, but i really see myself more as a mouse to be honest. i see myself as kind of like a sniveling like, you know, i could help you jerk off in vr. and then glitch goes, you're disgusting. not disgusting. people have certain needs. they just don't understand, neo.
50:41 see the one that goes out in a blaze of glory? he opens the curtains to the window which was going to be their escape route and he sees that it's all bricked up and he goes, oh no, no, no! and then he flips open the two guitar cases that both have mini guns in them and he goes, ahhhh! so he goes out like a boss. he absolutely goes out like a boss.
51:15 i don't know what's happening. bro, you've never seen the matrix? you've never, you've never seen the matrix? the movie the matrix? just be so fucking for real with me right now. if you've seen the matrix, don't type anything. if you've not seen the matrix, type one. there's so many people typing, chat won't even load. like chat is loading in chunks because so many people are typing. it looks like streamer university chat. good, now ban them. guess we don't need cerebro. ban them all. ban them, ban them all. sire, we can't, that's...
52:15 that's 15% of chat. i said what i said, now do it. ban them all. ban them all or i'll have someone ban you too. getting too germ a coded. i can tell. perhaps. a adverb meaning possible. postpone. a verb meaning to... postpone your viewing of the stream to watch the matrix. freight. a noun meaning the compensate... don't be afraid. it's not that scary. repress.
52:47 a verb meaning to... re press play after you watch it to see all the stuff you missed on the first time. godspeed, a noun meaning a pro... don't even need the riff on that one to be honest. proletarian, a noun meaning a member of the pro... patronymic, a noun meaning a name derived from that of the father... patronymic. phylum, a noun meaning a direct line...
53:07 sabotage. a noun meaning reparations. a noun meaning a rep... okay, we're on a fucking heater right now. like in terms of not only getting them right but also the time to type it, we're actually, we're probably close to the top of the leaderboard right now. astrologers. a noun meaning a person who practices convictions. a noun meaning...
53:29 yeah, no shit.
54:02 you already said it's pasta. herbalist. oh, wake up, wake up, get up, get up. it's the first of them all. i played video games before it. that's huge. i honestly spell check if you're listening. can we at least get like a distribution? cause i think people fucking suck as spelling. where does cleaning the bathroom end up on the chore tier list? bro, fucking low. cause it takes forever. i, in,
54:37 versus the norm, versus the average individual, i rate chores a lot less on grossness because it doesn't bother me that much and a lot more on like the time it takes to do it. so like the bathroom is over, it's an overpriced chore for a guy like me because it takes a long time
54:59 they got you doing stuff that you would like you treat the bathroom in a way that you don't treat any other room in your house they got you like scrubbing in between the grout on the tiles in the bathroom with like a toothbrush or something like that like that's crazy man cleaning up the bathrooms bathrooms quick compared to laundry. sorry, bro. you got to look at actual labor time
55:20 someone's saying, it took me two hours to do the laundry today. not or not, no it didn't. it took the machine an hour and 45 minutes and you fold it for 15 minutes. that's not two hours of labor. i don't fold shit so it's pretty quick. that's extremely embarrassing. what do you mean you don't fold shit? hangers? that takes the same amount of time. so what are you bragging about? it takes like one second to fold a t shirt. it takes one second to hang it up. folding takes longer? i think you're insane. i think you've lost your mind.
56:19 let's see your folds. they're perfectly functional to be able to fold them for 20 years now. i can't let you fold clothes. can you fold a fitted sheet? well, that takes a little longer to be honest, but like acting like it's way faster to hang up like a shirt than the fold that is crazy. also hanging up your t shirts is crazy. are you drake? like you have drawers, man. you hang up the outer layers and the thicker stuff. you put the t shirts in a drawer.
57:04 open up your closet. i don't want to see like four balenciaga t shirts and nothing else, man. that seems insane to me. my room ain't the gap. bro, there's only two places that clothing stores display t shirts. one is on drawers or like on shelves, which would be like the gap. the other one is you're going to like gucci or something like that and they got an $1100 t shirt on a hanger. so who the fuck do you think you are? you gotta pick a sign. i'm picking the gap, bro.
57:49 winners got them on hangers? t shirts? they got t shirts on hangers at winners? yes? i don't know man, that's where i buy my candles. i do not care for this segment. i'm just happy at least the culture online has changed because like 10 years ago people were like i just leave them in the dryer which is fucking crazy. like that's then no disrespect if you left your clothes in the dryer you did not do the laundry because you've skipped the only part of doing the laundry that's actually a chore.
58:30 forget them in the washer? now that's actually worse than doing nothing. you've actively worked against yourself. you can leave it in the washer after the cycle's done for a couple hours, but if you leave them in the washer overnight before putting them in the dryer, you actually gave yourself... now your clothes are wet and dirty instead of just dirty.
58:59 two hours? you could do two. as long as you don't open the door and introduce like new fucking microbes into the environment, absolutely you could leave it for two. sometimes you sometimes you put the shit, i forgot that you guys are all living with like exposed copper wires and stuff like that and you got to flip the main breaker when you leave your house and your mom is unplugging the router when she goes to sleep because she's worried about fires but you can start the washing machine and then go out and buy some groceries and have lunch and then come back and move the shit from the washer to the dryer, okay? you can do that.
59:31 that's well within the bounds of normalcy. and if the house catches fire, literally it's good if the house catches fire while i'm not there. if i'm there and i don't stop it, insurance is going to be like, well, why didn't you stop the fire? if i'm out, they're going to be like, well, there's nothing you could have done. we'll pay out the policy. pilsen, are you in czechia? ice cold. where the fuck is pilsen from, bro?
1:00:11 beefsteak, ham, bacon, mozzarella, tomato, a hard boiled egg. ice cold? are you from the united states of america? ice cold? argentina? brazil? uruguay? uruguay. the chavito sandwich, bro. sure. yeah, yum. why not? whoa. this is juk. this is juk from south korea. yes. and it's, you know what? it's good, man. dumplings?
1:01:00 made of rice flour and butterfly pea flour for the blue hue. dumplings are filled with coconut and palm sugar. philippines? malaysia. hulantanmek. borders it to the north? indonesia. oh shit. thailand? it's thailand. i had my southeast asia all fucked up. yeah, whatever. i'd eat it, man. i'd eat lots of things. where does he think indonesia is? you know what's crazy? japan to indonesia? no time difference.
1:01:43 or japan, let me rephrase, japan to singapore no time difference. seven hour flight to the west, no time change. singapore to indonesia, 30 minute flight, one hour time change. come on, they just want to be different? that's what i'm saying man. eastern china to western china, eight hour flight, no time change. that's a different story, okay? they got something different going on. we got something different going on.
1:02:39 indiana to illinois border, two steps, one hour time change. okay. but you have to compare that with something else. you have to be like, you know, delaware to illinois, delaware to indiana, two hour flight, no time change. because it was crazy to go from japan to singapore and be like, what the fuck? it's the same time. i flew west, bro. i'm supposed to be time traveling back. i'm supposed to get off the plane the same time i got on the plane.
1:03:16 pissing me off. drive across texas, 10 hours, no time change. texans when they find out their state is only big within the frame of reference of their diminutive country. it's literally the biggest state if you grew up without a world map. you ever think about that? it's literally not that big. it's like three times smaller than british columbia. going to bed, eight hours traveled, zero time change. no, wait, i think i did it.
1:03:55 zero distance traveled eight hour time change you okay, charlotte you were cooking with that one you were cooking with that one, right? but you're not driving the entire province of bc. i wouldn't drive the entire state of texas either i would i mean if i found myself there i'm hoping i'm hoping i'm at iah making a connection to somewhere. i want to be no disrespect maybe maybe dfw
1:04:24 but i like iah because you get off the plane and you see a bunch of people with cowboy hats and they're wearing them like sincerely. they're not being like today's cowboy day. they're like, this is what i wear to the airport. really do contain multitudes or whatever. can we not joke? bc is 360k square miles. texas is 260k square miles. yeah, yeah, yeah. we're a lot bigger.
1:05:12 we're like 50% bigger than your state, which is your state, which is known for the, like everything's bigger in texas. also, i'm sorry to gang up on the texans, but they're probably watching a different streamer, which is good.
1:05:24 they'll literally talk to you like you're from texas even if you tell them you're from a foreign country. they'll be like, yeah i hopped on the i 71 and at rush hour it's all jammed up so i decided to get on the, what do they call the road that runs next to the road? they will just hit you with interstate numbers over and over and you gotta be like, yeah man, i guess, i don't know shit about the frontage road next to i 35. like i'm from a different country, man.
1:05:55 i have no idea. californians do that? yeah, but they do also. put their head out the sunroof. i'm lost in my favorite tune. i've only got one thing on my mind. texas literally has cities. bc has one city. i thought you guys hated cities. wasn't that like your whole thing? like the city people live in a bubble and only the people that live next to nobody else know what the world is really like? you can't play it both ways, bro. you have to pick a side and stay there.
1:06:35 unfortunately, they do anyway. you know how it feels to get a to start a bit with a staggering amount of minus twos and just slowly fucking... and then not let you gain any purchase whatsoever! not not at any point go, oh, not eat just slowly sapping all of the atp! damn, that felt good. almost as good as having your head out the sunroof. the veggie jerk?
1:07:15 i thought he was on kick. this looks pretty good, man. i'll give you that. don't like that, but we gotta go with it. i mean, it's in a cob. it's gonna be sausage and red lechter roll. it's too expensive for popcorn at the pittsburgh river hounds game. sorry to say. it's gonna have to be chicken balti pie in a barm. chicken flatbread versus the drayden belly buster. lotus donuts versus cheeseburger that looks horrible. four donuts is kinda insane, but
1:08:11 we take one donut is the right serving size for a reason. that's why donuts are an honest food. they, you should eat one then they sell you one. none of this like you buy a bag of it that looks like it's for one person and then all of a sudden they're like oh there's three servings in the bag.
1:08:30 i was shocked yesterday. i found out that in canada, costco sold 36 million hot dogs last year, which to me sounded, if you had said how many hot dogs does costco canada sell a year? i might've said two to 5 million if i had to guess, but effectively every canadian, cause there's, we have like 41 million people. every canadian is eating one hot dog a year. obviously this it's going to be way shifted to the right. like there's going to be a decent amount of people that are eating
1:09:01 50 hot dogs a year because they're going to costco once a week and then a lot of people eating none but like still i was like damn one a year. they're really moving these fucking costco dogs, man i mean joey chestnut probably even you might have eaten a million himself for all i know i think the hot dog just looks pretty bad to be honest, even though it is a dollar salt and pepper chicken fries we're on a heater today man show you chicken and kaluya pork platter. i
1:09:41 they got the japanese food, they got the hawaiian food at the moda center. it's 13 pounds 20 with the mac salad and everything versus the fried chicken sub with halloumi fries. just gotta level with you. i think this looks better, man. the tivoli brucken versus the chicken balti pie. i feel like it would help me out a lot if i knew what this was. this is obviously a curry in a pie. it looks pretty good.
1:10:20 i don't know what this is. it's like a meatloaf slash meatball, so that's also really good. and if i may, i'm a bit of a bread connoisseur. actually, so i went up to make my daughter lunch to take to her camp today, found out we didn't have the sandwich bread that she likes. she said, can i just give you some pasta today? she went,
1:10:46 so not me, just finished the damn peloton ride up and on the old stallion, peddling my ass to the grocery store to get some of the bread she likes so she can take a sandwich to school today. two bike rides? first i had my bike ride and then i rode my bike, bro. and you know what? i was like, as long as i make it home by 8.40, everything will be fine. pulled into the house, 8.38.
1:11:21 not even a problem. not even a fucking problem, bro. that was close. gravy and cheesy chips? nah, it's gotta be honey barbecue chicken strips with chips. from chips and strips. a peerless scranner. oh, this is easy, man. resources that are shared tend to be treated with less care. that's a phenomenon called the tragedy of the commons.
1:12:12 what tv personality was unsuccessfully sued by texas cattlemen for declaring in an interview that she would never eat another hamburger? let's say that that's oprah. what author of the flying trapeze three crises for physicists calculated the photoelectric effect for hydrogen and x rays? enrico fermi?
1:12:48 following complaints by edward teller, in 1954 the aec revoked the security clearance of what suspected communist? niels bohr? oh, it's fucking oppenheimer, bro! the sloppy oppie! they could why wasn't clue three? uh, or clue one. hey, this dude invented the atomic bomb all by himself. i still haven't seen that slop, no spoilers please.
1:13:20 briefly loaned to the louvre in 2019, venice's gallerie del academia only displays what illustration on special occasions? probably the last supper? the roman author of de architectura is the namesake of what sketch? oh, it's the vitruvian man? what's the special occasion when they display the vitruvian man? international get out of the doghouse day? that's steak and blowjob day. is that cognitohazard still a thing?
1:13:59 the he man women haters club. oh, valentine's day is such a fucking drag, man. getting a nice meal with my spouse or my partner. let's not go crazy, tyson. h is for henny's. the swedish clothing brand. that would be h&m. i had no idea, bro. 12 points is a pretty good day. pretty good day. ah!
1:14:41 h a m. oh, jus toron. i see. single people who get upset by valentine's day need to go to therapy. so she's a really nice lady. i don't want to ruin her life. and it was also a long time ago. but when i worked in korea, i did work with a lady who was like 38 and was like that. she like made us go out with her for valentine's day so she didn't get sad.
1:15:08 and she was also in $10,000 of credit card debt from buying songs on itunes. it's just like i bring up stories like this to remind people she's a real f***ing human being and this is what people were like in 2010 and now that kind of person is gone. that kind of person doesn't exist anymore because of spotify. so i'm just right not a lot of time has passed but the culture has changed so much
1:15:33 the culture has changed so much that you find this story that was fairly believable in 2010 now completely farcical. is the sports better now? actually, she's a mother, okay? show some respect. sort these athletes by their all time career earnings adjusted for inflation starting with the highest.
1:16:05 i was on espn.com yesterday reading the recap of the england argentina game. they had a section of the article that was like, see how the stars reacted to the england versus argentina game. and it was taking me out the state of sports journalism. it was like a compilation of other athletes tweeting about the game and the tweets related like tom brady said, wow, hard hitting journalism, bro.
1:16:34 tom brady, while watching the game, thought, wow! incredible. apparently tom brady was surprised by the result. i have no idea, man. i'm assuming michael jordan's up there. i'm assuming tiger woods might even be higher. as crazy as that'll sound if you're not above the age of 33, i think. interesting to think, because david beckham has been doing all those ninja creamy ads.
1:17:11 david beckham ninja creamy sleep paralysis demon jump scare ads? anyone here live in england that's been... because when we went to england last summer, the david beckham ninja creamy ad was everywhere, man. you would just be like on a double decker bus, minding your own business. you round the corner and all of a sudden, dude is just staring at you, drinking a smoothie. please stop saying ninja creamy. it's a blevins blender, bro. i have no idea.
1:17:54 tyson is the interesting one because you make like a ton of money boxing, like being in a really popular boxing match, the purse could be like $10 million. but then also didn't don king like steal it all? but then also he has a cameo in the hangover and he was in on back three and it was in the 80s and 90s. so i don't know man. i mean, i'm assuming i'm going to put mike tyson on the damn bottom here. comfortable with the hot swap. all right. in two is really good still.
1:18:37 all right, fair enough. surprise, brady's so low. $745 million is actually not that much money. once you factor in taxes and pet cloning therapies and stuff like that. every time an athlete tweets something like that, it gets me. it gets me. because it's like, i mean, you don't need me to say it and be performative. but it's like, yeah, man, you have to spend, other people are spending money too, man.
1:19:08 not like the average person's going out and making like 50 g's and it's just going straight in the savings account. like you guys, you got to eat, like pay your rent or your mortgage or whatever. childcare. anyway, post career earnings should count. think about how much michael jordan made from gambling. i think about how much he lost too though. it's tough. maybe, you know what? we'll just count it at 50 50. for now, let's just count it as he won exactly as much as he lost.
1:19:52 higher population weighted density. dover, delaware or long island. say long island. higher percentage of people who are black. i will say missouri over kansas. higher percentage of adults with a self care disability. is this like emphysema or is this like adhd? because self care can mean different things depending on the context. eczema is when you care about yourself too much.
1:20:35 i mean, i gotta believe it's california. higher access to grocery stores. there's like two horsey game horses. let's say connecticut has more grocery stores. and what's hotter, man? i find it hard to believe. you're getting some kind of coastal effect here. in my head, southern india is like the hottest place on earth. mean temperature 90 fahrenheit. you want to trade, man?
1:21:15 there's deserts and shit. me on the disney cruise, there's desserts and shit. there's appies. there's a bread course. you don't want any part of this. you could have a sunday every night. hey, have you seen the video of the kid comparing cheetos and banana chips? i've not, i've not. but you know what, you've reminded me of something. you know that it's a cognitohazard. but it's an image, it's a meme image of
1:21:57 i'm trying to reconstruct it because it's probably been two years since i've seen it. and it'll be like a meal that's a little bit of lettuce, some tomato, some meat on top of it, and then some bread on the side, and they'll go healthy lunch. and then they'll take all of the stuff from the salad and they'll put it on the bread and then they go unhealthy lunch. that i believe in that. i believe in that.
1:22:29 i think that people, the composition of the lunch affects the perception of how good it is for you. you know you don't? yes i do. yes i do. you hate carbs? you got me backwards. i believe that society is wrong is what i'm trying to say. maybe i've phrased it in a negative fashion. but what about croutons? best part of the salad. best part of the salad hands down. without a doubt.
1:23:08 and i'm a good dad because when i get a salad, when i'm out for lunch with my daughter, i give her the croutons. once you take the croutons out of the salad, it goes from healthy lunch to pow rations. because you can't be eating a lunch that's 92 calories and then going out and going to the playground for two and a half hours. you're going to be fucking run down, bro. you got to at least get a strawberry milkshake or something like that to go along with it.
1:23:46 in na the salads are like 80% cheese. bro, i've been to europe. your lies don't work on me anymore. people are fucked up there too. you guys are fucking obsessed with mayonnaise. crazy about mayonnaise, bro. i didn't say as fucked up, by the way. i'm not here to lie to you. but you're acting like it's a totally different world across the pond. it is. the pacific. when you cross the pacific, it's a totally different world. but the atlantic,
1:24:17 not so much, it's cousins, okay? we're fairly closely related. colossal statues of jesus. this is christ the redeemer? for the world cup they should have had him do the... síu! they should... dude, why didn't they think of that? for the world cup they should make christ the redeemer do the... síu! ronaldo's not brazilian? yeah, but he speaks portuguese, i'm assuming. deserts of australia? yeah, this seems like one i should know.
1:25:03 i guess it's the outback, also known as the bush. what is the... what's the real name of the desert? sand. there's like four deserts. okay, well you just say i don't know. that's fine. babylonian architecture. this is the hanging gardens. get a little too casual with it. hanging gardens of babylon. thank you. civilization 2. no shot it looked like that. that's ai. they weren't building that shit in like the year 6. 1907 establishments in hawaii.
1:25:57 port cities in hawaii honolulu's on oahu honolulu shit looks like a tetsuro yamashita album cover beautiful compilation albums of ambient music restaurants in spain coffee houses in spain compilation album series branded by bars and cafes still no cafe del mar so music label and a restaurant 1990 television series debuts about teenagers
1:26:39 this would be fresh prince of bel air. characters in 20th century american novels. a ray bradbury character who's a fictional murderer. guy montag. isn't he from the hills? i'm ray bradbury! 19th century horror novels that are irish, were adapted for radio. fictional vampires, lesbian vampires, occult detective fiction, lesbian vampire.
1:27:31 it was, this sounds crazy. it's adapted into a television show. i'm just going to say it's true blood, man. get that off the, get that smut off the screen, man. don't laugh at my answer. the only dumber answer would have been dracula because there's no shot of fellow named bram stoker is from ireland. okay. that has like somewhere in bohemia written all over it. and there ain't no lesbians in bram stoker's dracula.
1:28:06 he is irish. bram stoker is irish. now that i think about it, bram is a pretty fucking irish name now that i think about it. the wives, the wives are all sucking off dracula, bro. three, three ladies won dracula. that's straight porn as far as i'm concerned. a hundred ladies won dracula, straight porn. two thralls, one goblet. they ate a baby. they needed to, by the way.
1:28:53 it's not like they did it for entertainment. they literally needed it to get sustenance to stay alive or stay dead or whatever. i don't know. we eat shit when we're hungry too. 1956 establishments in antarctica, mcmurdo station. twice a year, i spend the morning reading about all the settlements on antarctica and i go, fuck, damn, that's really far south. and then i click on another one and i go, fuck.
1:29:28 that's even further south, man. and i click on another one and i'm like, whoa, this one's like kind of to the east? what's going on with that? craziest thing about antarctica, it's not that cold. it's so much warmer. it's the coldest place on earth, but it's so much warmer than you would expect. like you would expect that in what we would call summer, you would go down there and you would be like, you would freeze in ice in a second, like mr. freeze hit you with his gun.
1:30:02 but you really, you just wear like a winter coat, you'll be fine. don't go out, don't spend too much time outside. 1950s vampire films directed by ed wood, plan 9 from outer space. that's right. damn, we did all right today. how'd you know that? i've seen ed wood, bro. plus lots of dudes with james gunn hair wearing the plan 9 from outer space shirt. you see, i could probably see one a week if i was hanging out at the
1:30:47 zulu records or like a comic book store or something like that lot of dudes with james gunn haircuts wearing this shirt and god love them. god love them 320 what the fuck? 302 343 310 oh that's good cuz we were on a very bad streak that feels nice man didn't realize how much of a buff baby wipes are in a restaurant until i had kids yeah, they'll be making a mess with just about everything knocking over their glass and shit. i
1:32:01 happens all the time. i still stand by the fact not to like if there's any dads out there that are in a more like maybe like a let me think about how to say this private equity husband, trad wife type situation and you're both watching the stream right now. i apologize for blowing up your spot but you shouldn't get that much credit as a dad for changing a diaper. it's not even that bad of a chore even if the diaper is disgusting it's not that bad.
1:32:31 i've done, i mean, i probably will never have to change another. well, i don't know, maybe grandkids be changing diapers or something like that, but i may never change a diaper for like the next 20, 30 years. it's, we had some bad ones, but the worst it gets is still not that bad versus like, i mean, i'd rather, i'd rather change all the diapers in a given day than clean the bathroom for sure. that i think that's an equivalent trade.
1:32:59 and i'm talking about even when your kid is like a month old and they're pooping their pants 10 times a day. i'd rather change 10 diapers than clean the bathrooms. 100%. this is fucked up, man. i think i want to take a warm up shot. huge. what a kick. we're still farming the diaper changing conversation? well, we're in like a weird era where i honestly feel like, i feel like admittedly i might have a biased sample. because as far as i know, i don't know any deadbeat dads. but like,
1:34:04 that there's a serious divergence between the behavior of the dads i see and the way people talk about dads online. like people will talk about dads online in like one of two ways, which is either like all dads are horrible and no matter how much they do they're not doing enough. and the other one is like he changed a diaper and took his kid to the park, he's a hero. and i'm like every dad i know is
1:34:32 they're like, they're kind of busting ass. pretty hard, not at 100% effort because you can't sustain that, but they're busting their ass. i see them around with their kids. i think it's still crazy that sometimes, like not anymore, but you would take your kid to the park when they were like one and like grandmas would come up to you and be like, it's so nice that you're taking your daughter to the park. and you'd be like, yeah, i mean, i guess she's kind of like my kid.
1:35:07 who else would take her? there's only like one other person that would take her to the park.
1:35:16 don't blame them their husbands were evil well and then i i do talk about this with other millennial dads i'm not going to say millennials have a harder than ever but i do sort of feel like we're crunched between like the perception of the median dad in the last generation which apparently i mean they're my dad was a good dad i didn't have any problem with him but there are obviously some shitty dads and probably on average they were doing a lot less back then and then like
1:35:44 the reality, which is the amount of effort that they're putting in, and i'm like, you're getting it from both sides, man. you're getting squeezed on the effort, but then people are also like, fuck you! oh, really? you're working hard? well, your grandpa was probably like having an affair with his secretary. okay, negative 16 when that shit was going down! what do i have to do with me? i didn't have anything to do with that! sins of the grandfather? sins of the father, maybe, but sins of the grandfather?
1:36:26 pass two generations down? aw man, it can't be like that. say it ain't so. it's seven generations in the bible? that's fucked up. i'm starting to call that shit into question. i don't even know that dude! seven generations? i met the dude four generations. i guess he's only three generations away, because he's four and i'm one if we're indexing it from me. but like, i met him like two times.
1:37:01 and now we're going seven generations? some dude born in like 1791 or something? seventh generation is a laundry detergent? that's right, let's keep it that way. inarguably the most exciting movie ever made about a guy deciding to become a teacher. half nelson. the most 80s movie. ferris bueller's day off. take my breath away playing four times within a 20 minute window. top gun? yeah, it's top gun, bro.
1:38:00 what does this have on letterboxd? 3.6. classic example of the older generation fucking you over. you grew up thinking this was a classic because they named a roller coaster after it. completely invalidates your opinion seeing it in the 2020s. because it's already been deified as a classic, you can't watch it with objective eyes. that being said, is it 0.3 better than minions and monsters? yeah, probably. that part seems valid.
1:38:37 these eyes. yeah, but it's fucking not 0.4 worse than superbad. it's like 0.9 worse than superbad. every night. for you. these eyes have seen a lot of lows, but they're never going to see another one like i have with you. we should fucking watch superbad. we should watch superbad right now.
1:39:04 i know i would be fucking freaking out at chat during superbad. i would be fucking losing it. why is he putting the beer in laundry detergent? he could get poisoned. bro, you weren't fucking there! you were, you were desperate.