Footlongs really used to be five bucks man (Counter-Strike 2)

Name: Footlongs really used to be five bucks man (Counter-Strike 2)
Uploaded: 2026-05-25
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Footlongs really used to be five bucks man (Counter-Strike 2)" (Counter-Strike 2) — 52 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-25Counter-Strike 2

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52 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 novel on the sad you either take mid control and go aob or you go to a site and take. all right, i'm good to go. all right, there's literally i have played it two times before. yeah, i actually have a 100% win rate on this map. okay, we're golden then. kpop demon hunters mentioned. let's just rush b. maybe do we go through cave or ramp? i love having an igl man.
0:44 something like that. he is kind of using a walkie talkie, but wait. my bad, y'all. my bad. just scoping it out. he's clear. two backside. what happened to our damn bomb, man? last one outside cave or mid. planting for quetzalcoatl. perfect. yes. yes, he can yes end, man. that's huge. maybe going through cave. 10 4. nice, still outside.
1:41 alright, i'm fucking off. i have five hp. nice. yippee! i do love this guy. check, can i say something? people who say slurs are damaging to society 100% would never dispute this. also damaging to society is assuming that people who are nice, they're on a time to slur. they're on like a tts.
2:15 where eventually they're gonna disappoint you. you shouldn't go into these human interactions assuming that they're gonna let you down, man. people will say some shit like, can you blame me? i fucking do blame you at this point, man. i think you're eroding the trust that we could have on our fellow man. if somebody says something bad, you just go, hey, fuck you and then you mute them. like, you know, it's a low cost. nice pistol, bro. pales in comparison to the galil. good shit. shit looks a little bit like a puck o lip though.
3:09 that was me checking to see if they were gonna be like, i love apocalypto. oh, apocalypto, my favorite movie. and then i'll be like muted so we can suss it out a little early. they're not fucking with the mel gibson filmography, that's huge. start asking some shit. are they really making a second passion of the christ? that could go hard in the comms. do you guys hear they're making a second passion of the christ?
3:52 they're making three and filming them at the same time? nah man, i'm pretty sure that's avatar. climbing ziggurat. one's in the smoke, right side of b. nice kill, lorach. nice try, nice try. where do you op on this map? i'm not learning the mid smoke, i'll tell you why. you asking me to go to the office?
4:45 pretty fucked up considering when your boss asked you to go to the office a lot of ink and paper were spilled over that. all of a sudden when it's time for me to learn a mid smoke on a map i've never played before it's like hey enel we're gonna need to see you nine to five over at youtube.com
4:59 don't worry, we got a cooperative workspace set up for you. you don't even know where your fucking desk is anymore, apparently. at least when i was in a white collar environment, you used to at least be able to have claim to a desk. now you just show up and like pick one or something? they're telling you you gotta clean your damn desk every single day? that's fucking crazy, man. i would never do that to you. good job, playa. alright, y'all wanna keep going b? want someone ct?
5:48 ct dead. plant money, plant money. that's why they call it a nursery. sheesh! hang on, i've even got my legs crossed, bro. honestly, i'm way more sus of someone that has a terrible mic. or of someone that has an awesome mic. someone with a terrible mic? that's a real motherfucker right there. that's someone who never tried to make streaming happen. they have a career that they found. can anyone get me smoke? i'll smoke off donut, we go a. yeah, yeah, i got you. it's okay.
6:46 roll it legit dropped it. obviously, i have no idea what that means ones in the room next to site with an op. oh, thank god that died before they found out he didn't have an op you would shoot huge to three bro god, i can't wait till we get this six seven. i think we should maybe uh
7:38 i don't know about a or b but maybe like a couple mid and then just a couple going to a site or b site. w i g l. hopefully. i'm 37 years old man. just nobody else said anything. i thought like we had the gas come up. game sense? i killed the guy down there. what does i g l mean? i don't know. i think it means go i go long. good shit. one cc. he's in ct. how many fucking mollies are they gonna throw into the smoke man? what the fuck?
8:35 kessel coddle w confidence though w confidence. nice try guys. nice try. yeah, we're having trouble holding the site. i don't know. try and spread out a little bit. make sure i watch it. i gotta start playing like i got a 10 incher. you're right. i did one damage. sorry, caffeine's hitting the bloodstream. green or twin flames? all right, but i'm the twin flame with the masculine energy, okay?
9:16 i'm the twin flame who has, whose masculine energy needs a corresponding twin flame to have feminine energy. okay. can i say something? there's a non zero chance i could be sucked into a cult, but there's no shot of getting sucked into a cult that has a leader that's younger than i am. if i'm getting sucked into a cult, it's going to be a charismatic old guy who looks like wayne coin or that motherfucker from the polyphonic spree. there's no shot. i'm going to be like, oh yeah, this, this 19 year old is the second coming of jesus christ. this is not going to happen.
9:50 it's just not gonna happen. we run these streets worth. if you line it up right, it looks like the defuse cables are coming out of his nostrils. he's taking a big sniff of that bomb. yes, man, yes.
10:42 start doing stand up. whenever the team cohesion falls, i'm just gonna start saying shit like, man, footlongs really used to be five dollars, huh? i think it's like the easiest way to get a group of four strangers to relate to each other. damn, there used to be a fucking dollar menu at mcdonald's, man. my bad, og. temple? i literally... i snatched his soul, temple. oh shit, it's just me. nice try.
11:55 i'm kind of digging the self nice try to be honest. damn, footlongs really used to be $5, man. golden does. we got this. i feel like we need to split up a little more. maybe not when we're on pistols, but especially on full bar. can someone else acknowledge that he said something so he doesn't feel like i'm just saying yes every single time just to make him
12:45 just to make him stop talking, which is not the case. i really appreciate it, but i wish someone else would at least confirm the message so he feels like he's being heard. you don't have to respond. well, it feels bad to keep issuing like comms and then have nobody say anything. it makes you feel like your team is like losing faith in you. like this is no good, man. this study, i would die for my igl. i do what they say. our in game leader. hell yeah.
13:46 i've been op'd from temple. one behind, one post. fucking quick. nah man, those reflexes are too fast. oh shit, you're right. it did introduce power dynamics into what was a fucking... a flat management system. a valve style flat management system with no hierarchy. alright, let's try and get these last two rounds. absolutely. i think we had most success on b, obviously. let's do this, chums.
14:36 let's do like three ramp and like two cave. we don't have to go quick as fuck, but it just depends. one's right side of site. that's not what you want to do. planted. cave, cave, cave, cave, cave, cave, cave. fine. let's see, team map is off. they're literally just caffeinated. it's not that big of a deal.
15:55 best way to reheat pizza? air fryer. easy. unless you want me to ask them. cast iron pan? we ain't doing all that, man. i'm trying my new cope there on a five hour session. oh shit. chiblee, did you finish directive 8020 yesterday? i could only follow it through what my discord was saying. and they were saying some shit. at first they were like, whoa, chiblee's game is completely different. and then like three hours later, they were like, oh, it's the same game. they went, the decisions you make don't matter at all?
16:49 anders lived she just stopped appearing in cut scenes. crazy man. they were on one with that one for sure. when you take one damage but your head snap back like that. i got shot in the brain stem. clear comms. ct i believe ct.
17:40 nice glass of red wine. red wine from a rocks glass? be serious, niles. it's dr. pepper zero! he just knows exactly what i'm fucking at at all times, bro. music kind of fire though. you don't think so? what's with the kd today? 6ix9ine ain't that bad for a beast like me to be honest. i got an elton reset mental. oh shit, i don't even know where to go on ct side, man.
18:28 so i'm going this way. i'm watching donut like homer. flash a. yes sir! we should just do pistols every round, that was easy. uh huh! they hate you?
19:23 i'm starting to think the male loneliness epidemic is kind of like self inflicted. you guys buy armor on this thing around or no? i did, yeah. i like to buy on second. after pistol if we win. they hate to have a silly little friend. not b, i don't think. i don't know what to say. they licked all the icing off of donut. it's clean. just don't push. you're gonna wait for like the last second. just rush out. we see one a. too long. warning shot. who licks a donut? problematic. bro doesn't know ariana grande.
20:45 watch for the rotate back to mb. yippee, mom's been fucking planted. no shot, that's my diffuse, that's my diffuse. my, aah, aah, does at least make it come out of his nose. put my nuts on it. they didn't respond. they're not fucking with me? junior mcchicken used to be a dollar. the fuck? this dude's in an active war zone. that's right, b.
22:05 he's playing from inside of a helicopter or something. the fuck? bounced it off something that turned it shiny. seems like an awesome spot to hold. my bad, cortisol spiked. tried your cruise cold coffee trick this morning and i get it now. wait, are you on a cruise right now? munka s? also, it literally, so i have some takes that are legitimately
23:00 like just for me and they're not universally applicable but getting being in a hotel making your coffee the night before and then drinking it straight out of the fucking fridge is literally like it's free money man yeah they won't let me off the boat for some reason that happens sometimes sometimes you get sometimes you start
23:22 you know, you get a little bit of a rise in your internal temperature, they throw you in the damn brig. it happens. you'll be fine in like eight weeks. eight weeks, i think. orange just found out i'm live. this is devastating. whole squad, 5 10, but we about to be six even. one was an elbow. i'm locking the fuck in. two out mid. i'm locking the fuck in. we need help on mid. on route?
24:16 might be going towards you orange. not me faded one mid to down mid. check that shit out. we brought him back as mid. maybe i should just be watching mid every time man. would you rather be 510 or 610? 610 little too tall for a guy like me. true. true. i think guys i'm kind of going be safe. i don't like this angle lock in. i don't be stupid like me.
25:34 cave, cave, cave. when my team needs me, i bleed for my team. shit, he got him. he fucking got him. damn, on stenoma. i saw you shoot his foot so you didn't damage your teammate. that is teamwork right there. that was pretty high intel. imagine how much it would hurt if you were 610 and you sucked at basketball though.
26:19 you're just like a fucking chad. you're just like, i'm just out here like, i don't know, selling insurance or something. and everybody, first thing they ask you, hey, you any good at basketball? and then you got to say no. yeah, because i mean, being just 6'10 probably ain't enough to get in the nba. you still gotta like practice. that's 5'10, cope. didn't take any nades, y'all. some util b? yep, one's mid, one's behind cave. i hope you blow that on b. there might be one in that. oh, shit.
27:17 score is 710. i'm feeling like they split. the ones outside of elbow. okay, i deserve to die for that one. slump them caves. hold it down on fucking b, bro. let's go. i'm flexing my default knife right now. what the fuck? it's got fucking... can i get a buy or anyone? what do you want? m4, please. what the fuck is wrong with my knife, man? what do i have to do with it? do you have the silence one or no? not to be picky. why is my knife so fucked up, man? i'm just better with that one.
27:57 oh, it's raining on the map. okay. yeah, my bad. the ones on the bb. he's lit. he's on mid last day. oh no, that flash was blue. okay. a hundred percent accuracy every time.
28:48 easy bro. they don't have the team vibes like us bro. 100%. they don't know a jr. mcchicken used to be a dollar. yeah, they ain't talking about that $5 for long neither. when it's around 20 and you hear someone talk for the first time, that's how you know that the vibes are good man. but now i'm feeling myself a little too much. it's time for me to get a little memento mori and die. one's mid. they're chirping at me? they're chirping at me? they're making macaw sounds? caca 2b? caca 2b?
30:11 enemy enemy might be yellow, but my money green whatever this room is i lost the 1v1 i mean we don't go up on this we stay with the m4. yeah a 1s again. i got you. thank you. yes, sir yeah
31:03 no offense yellow. anything to say on your own defense yellow? maybe he doesn't have a meek. basilisk is cool though. put some mileage on that thing, run the odometer up. alright, doesn't count. ain't a damn lease. we're still making payments on this. definitely not with the mid again. fuck it, let him have it. i don't know why they like b so much. that was from top mid. yeah, don't get greedy, but you test it. hello. alright, i'm gonna go to b, you know, stay where y'all at. good info.
32:10 you know you're gonna counter strike when people start complimenting your comms. chiblee, you still here? you playing like a clicker game? here's what i'm thinking. new meta, cold drink, fucking hot ass glass. you think it would taste interesting? you think it would be like... you think it would make the drink taste colder? obviously it would increase the temperature of the drink.
32:45 making it literally warmer. but what do you think it would make it taste colder? cause your hand would be like, wow this shit is hot. and then when you drank it, it would be cold for at least a minute. it would shatter. it doesn't have to be fucking like a dry ice old fashioned and a fucking like boiling glass.
33:21 yeah, it's like a it's an all you an on demand shower beer or hear me out hot ass drink cold ass glass hot coffee out of a out of a mug made of ice. i'll fucking hold the angle. i don't give a shit man they're playing on uh on tilt anyway ones outside a cave. that's how we pivot prepare yourself for the wide swing hey, can i get an iced americano cup extra hot? no room take these chains off and say it again, man
34:20 how did that miss? can i get a replay on that one? how did that miss? over his head. nice try, nice try. it's literally my bad for buying op. i shouldn't have bought op, it's my bad. hey, nl, i'm gonna take a nap. can you try not to yell for the next four hours? turn my stream off, yeti. napping is when you put on fucking secrets of the renaissance world by will cantor. put on some useless shit like an audio book about history.
35:25 learn some shit about asher bonipol. 2kave, 2kave. damn. what the fuck? you til beast bro. they're throwing the kitchen sink at him. one side by one left side of site. oh, that's real tough. killed pillar. one left side. 2kave. damn. crazy play. nah, you didn't have a chance on that one. don't sweat it. we take the next two and win overtime. nova rush, nova rush anybody?
36:45 nah man, 1311 doesn't even make sense. 1212's angel numbers, make a wish. hey man. did he say hey man or hey man? fuck it, watch this. it's demon time baby. macbook. what bomb? 2t. i didn't die. i threw a meat grenade that surveilled their location. it's a protect bomb. they're definitely gonna run back to the... look at that, literally got an assist. one donut with off. i am the one, the one with the gun. donut last.
37:50 donut last, huge. still got time to do all kinds of shit. one has to go b? no, man. we got bomb. just keep your eyes on the damn bomb. nice. nice shit. time for ot. ot! boy, i like that. that means we gotta end on terrorists though. gotta get these three rounds. you go ot! it did sound like... it did sound a little bit like apollo. they called rush ramp.
38:54 i hit all five of them with my util. yeah, cave this. oh shit. oh no, the vibes are rancid now. upper cave. i thought that dude said, i need help b. oh damn, what a shot though. he did? and listen, i can't be mad because i do the same thing. sometimes you see a leaf. oh shit, i was on b, nevermind. it's completely my fault. my bad og. my bad.
39:49 i thought he did the thing where he saw like a leaf move and he was like they're all here. that could have easily like hit my teammate for 70 damage. then we take a spot we've never taken before and we hold crouch even though it hurts the pinky. one cave. you drink railroad gin? i've been known to. i prefer texas medicine though. you got to have the right crowd though. one's ramp, one's building.
40:55 you got this, you got this og. w place. holy shit, what the fuck was that? i never would have hit that shot. nice try, nice try. that shot was fucking crazy that he hit him like running with the spray. i know my role. shotgun overtime. this is a big one. it's a big round. i gotta lock the fuck in.
41:40 before the fall, when they wrote it on the wall when there wasn't even any hollywood they heard the call, what the fuck? when they wrote it on the wall could it be this sad design must be the very same
42:07 a wooly man without a face and a beast without a name. both still one's all, double doors, one's in the corner. nothing here but history, can you see what has been done? memory rush over me. together we can do it. i am playing with someone who's an active duty pilot right now. steely dan, my two favorite steely dan albums. oh for real? i love steely dan but i didn't know those were the album names. dude, what's your favorite steely dan track?
42:42 i don't know, i'd have to look at the title. he's gonna fucking save. i'm not that big, the way i know it off the top. call him a fraud right now. i'm not gonna call him a fraud, i'm not gonna gate keep to dan. i'm just glad someone under 80 fucking years old knows who steely dan is, man. call him a fraud. sorry. oh shit, you think he knows it from jojo? at least he got the trick.
43:27 real in the years is a steely dance on that. classic. he's top mid. why do i actually like what this gun looks like? it's like recycled it because it's garbage but it actually looks fire like. yeah it looks good. plus like people know where you stand politically. there's no chance with fucking young motherfuckers in the zoo. wasn't asking though. because you know where they stand politically. very recyclable.
44:32 a lot of people these days don't do that. there's more people mid than i've ever seen in my life. this might be it y'all. nice try guys, nice try. it was a pleasure. pistol round was really good man. those are good guys!
45:17 can you stop asking me where to buy drugs in downtown vancouver? just go to the store, man. they have stores for that these days depending on the neighborhood you're in. you just googled like drugs near me and go inside. the lower east side, that's new york, chipley. that's new york.