I still have faith (Normal Golf Game)

Name: I still have faith (Normal Golf Game)
Uploaded: 2026-07-07
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "I still have faith (Normal Golf Game)" (Normal Golf Game) — 131 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-07Normal Golf Game

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131 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:04 saying we like michelle. i know lots of golfers. michelle wee, annika sorenstam, lori. a little help with this one. who's the famous canadian women's golfer? lori. anyone here watch sports center back in the 2000s? lauren ipsum. that's lauren ipsum.
0:47 i knew it sounded familiar. i might, i genuinely might just be thinking of laurie mcelroy which is not... like there's a at least a one in five chance that there is no famous laurie canadian golfer and i'm just thinking of laurie mcelroy. a little too much pepper on that one. we do need to bring heritage moments back. i feel like that's responsible for like so much
1:31 canadian history knowledge in our country, at least amongst our generation. what are heritage moments? they were like little 30 second to one minute long history videos that played during ads. so like during a commercial break there would be like in 19...
1:53 11 a lady was having seizures. she went to dr wilder penfield in montreal to figure out what was giving her the seizures and then like her head is fucking cracked open like in hannibal and then the dude is like touching her brain and she goes, um strawberries or so doesn't she say like cherries or something like that? and then he touches another part of her brain and she goes i smell burnt toast. dr penfield i smell burnt toast and then this is how they figured out that like your brain is what
2:24 is having a problem when you're having seizures, i guess. and specifically that part of it, i guess. and james naismith with the peach baskets? i need those baskets back. cat threw up again. the cat threw up again. hang your head down low and... i know i talked about it before. i'm not trying to be glib with respect to irish canadian history, but it is still crazy when
2:57 you watch the heritage moment where like irish people are coming to canada and the judge is making them change their name. because they're like, what's your name? duncan mcsorley, sir. duncan what? duncan what? it's positively unpronounceable to the canadian tongue. duncan what? your new name will be duncan legilifoil. he dead ass says patrick o'neill, right? yeah. okay. once i'll load this up after i hit this hole in one. there it is right there. okay.
3:42 molly johnson play it like the funeral march. no, not molly johnson, bro in the 1850s many quebec families adopted irish orphans their parents dead of ship's fever on the atlantic cross it's kind of a downer by the way.
4:09 yeah! yeah! let's go!
4:44 okay, but that's actually now that i'm going back and watching this one second here that's mike faced bro that's that's dead ass art donaldson. am i freaking the fuck out? it says his name right there
5:24 how fucking funny would it be if they scrolled down to the little boy and he said joe biden? i never even thought about how fucking funny would it be if this video from the 1850s she goes, molly johnson, sir, molly johnson. joe biden, joe biden, listen jack, my name's joe biden. patrick o'neill. yes, what? jack, me and my boy in. yeah, yeah.
5:59 a century and a half later, many of those names still resound in quebec. true. that's true. i mean, i'm living proof there's still ryans around to this fucking day, man. for better or for fucking worse. i mean, sorry for the dalliance here, but i mean... this is all time canadian cinema.
6:32 this is how we were hooping back then. oh, what is he doing, man? oh, yeah! that's, um...
7:00 who's the current commissioner, adam silver? that's adam silver in 2024. maybe we can allow a carry of a couple of steps. maybe we could allow them to... maybe if they have aura, they can carry the ball for four to five steps. just slows things down, having to climb up here every time. well then let's cut the bottom out of the basket. smartass. i need these baskets back. i need these baskets back. hey you fucking assholes, you just want to cause problems? no solutions at all?
7:32 really slows the game down to have to climb up here and take the ball out of the basket. well, let's cut out the bottom. well, i can't do that. you hear that shit? it's a canadian game, bro. james n.a. smith from a town in ontario i've never even heard of and i grew up there. almonte.
7:58 basketball was being played by hundreds of millions of people around the world. and so we would literally, i mean canadians, back me up. we would see these videos like at least eight to twelve times a day. this is why canadians are so good at basketball. we had like a 50 year head start. here, here, one sec. i'm going to clean up this vomit. one moment please. i'm back y'all. i went upstairs going,
9:11 i can't... no, i didn't burn my double jump yet. ain't gonna do it without my vest on. oh no. you must understand that's who i am. hey librarian, you here? you were here with the link so you must be here. wǒ yǒu shì pīngguǒ.
9:51 pinguotai chu hao. tai hao chu. pinguotai hao chu. pinguotai hao chu. how did we do? very good? are you saying that because i said very good or are you saying you could understand what i'm talking about? apples are yum. yes! yes! okay, you ready for this one? yi shuang xie du shao qian. ni xiang mai.
10:40 liang shuang xie. hi, shae shae nin. stop it? how'd you do? how expensive are the shoes? i want two pairs of shoes. thank you very much. i'd let you order for me. as long as you want an apple, a banana, steamed rice, or soup of any kind, i got you bro. or water. or grape juice. coffee? i don't have that kind of confidence yet to say coffee in chinese. coffee. i dead ass think that's it by the way.
11:34 i think it's like, wo hei, wo hei ka fei, wo hei, wo, wo hei ka fei, wo hei ka fei. it just doesn't feel right though, like it feels like i'm doing something wrong. you are? like, conceptually or specifically with the pronunciation. say han, not he, han, wo hei ka fei. that's actually more like it. yes! yes! we're getting there, bro. ni shi na guo ren, ni shi na guo ren,
12:36 wabusha meiguoren. can i ask what you're wearing? no the fuck you can't. it's 2026 bro. i got my armor on. as big boy says in shine blockers. i can't let you guess clothes. wait that's good. i can't let you guess clothes. did you know hudson's bay the store was named after a company? yeah bro! did you know the company was named after a bay? like a body of water?
13:42 never ask a man his salary, a woman her age, or a canadian what they think about canadian tire owning the ip of the iconic hudson's bay multicolored blankets. it's that simple. up on the, i don't even know where that came from, but up on the white veranda, she wears a necktie and a canada hat. wait, wait.
14:11 black diamond bay but we've made it a patriotic song about the canadian soccer team. and she is christine sinclair rooting us on from the press box. canadian bob dylan. dude when bob dylan's voting records leak it's gonna break my fucking heart. i know his ass voted for joe biden.
14:43 biden, biden, biden, biden, ever since 1972. biden, biden, biden. bobby wasn't even running, man. he was just a kid back then. he was only 62. i thought that shot was chopped, but it turns out it's actually like chopped to the show. like it was pretty good. not good enough, but pretty good. do canadians actually go to the physical hudson bay? not many, bro. that shit is like north as fuck.
15:31 it's cold as hell. i mean it's a big ass bay but even the most southern part of it is like fucking north as fuck. oh! you ever want to go to nunavut? i would let's start with like a starter territory. i think i could go to the yukon first. the yukon ain't even that far away. i mean it is like
16:02 the entire continent of europe's height north to south away but i would love to spend a little time in the yukon. so like a two hour drive? no bro, like a fucking... i don't even know like a 28 hour drive or something? has anyone ever driven from vancouver to whitehorse? true, because you can't stop at the damn border. you got to go all the way in the whitehorse. it's not like you're gonna be like, oh i made it now i'm in the fucking tundra. none of it might be a little too remote for my ass though.
16:47 it would be interesting though for sure. i know they'd be getting pissed off with tourists too. they'd be showing up at the hotel breakfast being like, i'll have a glass of orange juice and they're like, well it's eight dollars and they're like, really? eight bucks? why is orange juice so expensive here? 27 hour drive. damn, i was fucking bang on because i drive 3.6% slower than the average person. you ever go to the valley of the headless men?
17:43 uh, no bro. i've never been to caled. i've never been to caled. never been to lost izalith. i passed through blighttown briefly on the way to the valley of the drakes, but i've never stayed. that vest on you look like robocop. i gotta... what's the most robocop type accessory that i have here? it'd be something like this. freeze, criminal scum! how is... it actually like... when i was doing it, i was like... it felt like i was robocop. because he does...
18:33 he fucking moves like that, kinda. he does also toe walk. you're not wrong, he does also toe walk. ooh. okay, dr. respect. okay, but the creepy chiblee photo that he uses as the underlay of his stream, it looks like dr. disrespect with no sunglasses on. can we get an image of the picture? it's 100% dr. disrespect with no sunglasses on, and he gets mad at me every time i say it. it's what it looks like! an image of the picture? well, you know what i mean.
19:29 i don't have the... i guess what i want is an image of the image. i don't have the picture, obviously, and i don't have a way to conjure the image easily. there you go, click on it. don't ever tell me i don't... whenever i say this looks like this, you fucking know i'm telling the truth. don't doubt my ass. doubt my ass at your own fucking peril. hair is so different. it's a piece, okay? that's not his real hair.
20:30 don't be insane oh yeah buddy that's his own hair and then okay who's thinking the next part oh i i did my my line who's got the next one lucky bounce you're not aiming at the hole i have a natural slice
21:30 nice, i thought i was gonna miss the haptic thing. yeah, slattest cots, it will be a very good haptic representation of the psychic damage that i take when in 2017 i post a slay the spire video and then you post something like, you're a smart guy, i don't understand why you still think that strikes are better than defense. people don't forget, okay? people don't forget, alright? you want some? i can't even feel it, i can't fucking feel it. i'm invincible.
22:02 what do you have to say for yourself? yo, i needed you to save slay the spire back then. what does that even mean? what does that even i'm chill now? you gotta save somebody. watch this drive. that is how houdini died, but also, i mean, do i need to read the wikipedia article about houdini anymore? death of houdini. one second. i need to go to the wikipedia article.
22:55 no, not notable escapes. not film career. not aviator. death. here we go. witnesses to an incident at houdini's dressing room at the princess theatre in montreal speculated houdini's death was caused by jocelyn gordon whitehead, who repeatedly struck houdini's abdomen.
23:15 price said that whitehead asked houdini if he believed in the miracles of the bible and whether it was true that punches in the stomach did not hurt him. houdini offered a casual reply that his stomach could endure a lot. whitehead then delivered some very hammer like blows below the belt. houdini was reclining on a couch at the time having broken his ankle while performing several days earlier. which is so fucking funny.
23:46 the dude was just laying down with a broken ankle. price said that houdini winced at each blow and stopped whitehead suddenly in the midst of a punch, gesturing that he'd had enough, adding that he had no opportunity to prepare himself against the blows as he did not expect whitehead to strike him so suddenly and forcefully. had his ankle not been broken, he would have risen from the couch to better position to brace himself. i forgot about that, man.
24:17 and he still went on stage! throughout the evening, houdini performed in great pain. he had insomnia and remained in constant pain for the next two days but did not seek medical help. when he finally saw a doctor, he was found to have a fever of 39 degrees celsius. he ignored the doctor's advice and decided to go on with his show. when he arrived at the theater in detroit, michigan for his final show, he had a fever of 40 degrees celsius. beast mode, i'm afraid.
24:52 that's entirely his fault? well, did you miss the hammer like blows while he was laying on the sofa with a broken ankle? that power was really good. it's just so crazy that the dude went to his dressing room and said, do you believe in the miracles of the bible? i mean, if you're a person of some notoriety and you don't have security and somebody walks up to you and says, do you believe in god? it's time to start.
25:38 i would just come to terms with the fact that this might be your last couple of moments on planet earth. a sentence you definitely don't want to hear as the first thing out of the mouth of a stranger you don't know who knows who you are. unless... and let's not even start with the fact. i mean, beast mode for houdini for taking zero sick days but also wouldn't be me getting beaten to death by a guy named jocelyn. but anyway.
26:17 he was canadian though, he was canadian so maybe he was packing a certain punch. who knows man. not with the vest on. not gonna do it without him me going yeah like starting to glow and shit. this kid is definitely on crack. yes. miracle ball. kid you know the power on these goes up to 200 right?
27:13 i was all the way? yeah, yeah me too. i honestly think they need to mod it to make it a little bit more potent or just like start gluing some ninja rocks to the motors. but you know this technology is very close to that idea i told you about which is a mask that is the exact shape of your face but it has like a hundred razor blades on it.
27:39 so when you put it on, you press a button and it shaves your whole face in one stroke instead of you having to shave your face for like 10 minutes? wait... kissing me windy? gaining 10 pounds and dying to the mask? i mean he was pretty strong. stanley ipkiss, bro. how is it possible i'm still not aimed right? wait... you'd need a helmet though? yeah, yeah, it would have to be like an add on.
28:48 if you call now we'll also throw in the jigsaw helmet! shave your entire head with the press of one button! try going back in stance just a bit. oh shit. okay let's try. gives us a better lob is what you're saying. use a skull shaver? nah man i use a uh i use a philips oneblade but i will say someone out there needs to make
29:36 phillips one blade razors that are made of like palladium or something because my salt and pepper hair is chewing up the fucking blades man. they need to make like a heavy duty one. why are the white hairs so much tougher? i think it's because they're they're so much closer to death that they know what they're missing. they don't want to go so they're like gripping. yeah, i'm not gonna use a safety razor just cuz like i
30:19 i just can't be fucked. like, the one blade is very like... i'm not saying the safety blade is worse. it's probably better, but like, seems a lot less convenient. but they do need stronger blades. get a head blade? i was using a head blade when you were probably like in the third grade. no disrespect. i just assume you're probably like 22 if you're in here. i know they make a head blade. that was the first thing i got when i shaved my head. that and oakley sunglasses.
30:57 what do you use now? i use a philips oneblade, bro. the aforementioned philips oneblade. i'm new to the bald fandom. any tips? fandom or community? because i don't know if i have any tips for the fandom. i will say one thing i've started doing is if i see a guy who has obviously had a hair transplant and you might say it's not obvious. it's obvious because last time i saw you your hair didn't fucking look like that.
31:41 you fucking traitor. so what i've started to do is just look at their hair when i walk by them. where i normally would maintain eye contact, i just look at their hair just to maybe let them know that there's some fuckers out there who know, okay? you can be on the legal steroids that every man over the age of 40 is on right now,
32:15 because the doctor he found on facebook marketplace said he had low testosterone so they gave him some you know gorilla growth hormone or whatever all of a sudden i just saw every do you notice kate when we were on vacation there's so many 50 year old dudes that look like ben stiller and meet the parents now and i'm a little jealous to be honest but i'm also like buddy i'm sorry there was a reason that our uncles in like 1998 didn't have like 22 inch biceps
32:43 they were just like they had like a little pop belly and you know what? six kids. six kids. so obviously he still had a certain je ne sais quoi. let's put it that way. i'm now at the end. i don't know if anybody else because i might be the first guy to ever reach 37 years of age. i am
33:21 not the foremost authority on male attractiveness, but even as a straight man you see guys out there and you go, okay, that guy is handsome, that guy a little bit busted, that guy a little bit busted but in like a handsome way, you know, like an adam driver type thing. so you know, you're aggregating data on tens of thousands of faces and running it through your incredible central processing unit like all the time, right?
33:46 so you're learning a thing or two, or you're building a model at least. i've now started, my model has started flashing red klaxons. this is a cognitohazard. whenever i see a middle aged guy who's too hot,
34:03 it's like my lizard brain is sending a message that's like, that's like a threat in the environment. like that's an alien or some kind of poisonous plant or something like that. cause 52 year old men are not supposed to look like that. so then i'll see like a 52 year old dude who looks normal, but maybe he's kind of like in shape and 6'2". and i'm like, that guy is probably hot as hell. but then this dude who is on like,
34:31 legal male steroids and has had seven hair transplants. i'm like, something's not right there, man. like when they start to look like a jack santa claus, like it hits the uncanny valley for me or something. you guys know zanta? is it okay to play zanta videos on stream? i think he was going through like a mental health crisis or something. anyone here from toronto? he's still alive? someone told me zanta died like nine years ago and it was seconded, let's put it that way.
35:19 he got banned from the ttc. that makes a lot of sense because i think he was like sexually harassing people. see like a weird beast from star wars? well listen, let me see what they got going on here for xanta. i only became aware of xanta when my friends from toronto came to university and started teaching me about xanta who was kind of like a cryptid who lived in toronto for a while.
35:57 why do i only, when i search zanta, i only get video essays about zanta? real zanta videos. i don't want to watch toronto's zanta documentary full. i don't want the tragic story of zanta. i'll wait for librarian. librarian will figure it out. look up zanta sighting. okay, wait, wait. zanta sighting. zanta a toronto legend documentary. motherfucker. the quiet sadness of zanta. librarian posted!
36:55 he has a youtube? okay, but i need this to also have some... wait, zanta goes head to head with ttc driver? there's gotta be more popular videos of zanta than this. let me just double check this one really quick. i accidentally blew smoke out of my mouth. i'm sorry. i accidentally blew smoke out of my mouth. it's crazy. the bus driver is kicking him off because he blew smoke out of his mouth. i lost my bus.
37:38 can i have a transfer? i told you i'll give you a chance to get off my bus. why are you kicking out those? you know who i am? no man, i can't watch xanta say do you know who i am. so this without context probably doesn't hit as hard. xanta's a guy who goes around toronto with his shirt off and a santa hat on going like uh like just kind of making sounds but he's like he was really really jacked. he would just go around and like
38:07 i don't know like approach people and just do a bunch of push ups in front of them? hold. i did not say he sexually assaulted someone keenan. i said he sexually harassed someone. still really bad and i don't know that's that's hearsay okay but two different things there is there's a delineation between the two. i can't read that. i can't read that. he walked around a festival like 10 years ago with a sign saying please google xanta
39:16 xanta was kind of like, you know, vancouver has roller girl. like a local character of some notoriety. xanta was like toronto's roller girl. it was like apparently if you lived in toronto during the early 2000s, you probably had a story where you had encountered xanta in public or on the subway or something like that. christmas came early, xanta's back. wait, wait, wait.
40:02 from 13 years ago? i got into a run in with this guy on the kiel bus north of kiel subway. he kept going on about how he got evicted from his place by a landlord who was part of the jewish mafia. bus driver blew a fuse five minutes into the ride and tried to kick him out. zanta got off and proceeded to hang off of the windshield wipers until the cops came.
40:29 that's classic xanta. that's a perfect encapsulation of the character of xanta. okay, the top reddit comment there has characterized him way better than i could. off the windshield wipers. that's damn impressive. we used to be a proper country, man. oh my god. oh my god, and under the branch? oh, it didn't have quite enough draw. wait, that's like the same shot. oh, but 10 times more powerful.
41:32 bro, come on. i'd like to see you take a crack at it, smart guy! that's pretty good. that's not good at all. it has to be a hole in one. for me, it has to be a hole in one, yeah. and this is literally just a warm up until we get the real par 3 hole in one as well. so i've never heard of glove guy. i have to say, i've never heard of this glove guy.
42:37 halifax glove guy? you're sure it's not michael jackson? that's the only glove guy i know. hee hee! he would give people free rides around town in halifax if you tried on leather gloves for him. guess he wasn't hurting anybody. hopefully. and hey, halifax is a pretty big town so those rides are really valuable. you know that explosion produced the loudest sound on earth, right? until the... until mount vesuvius erupted or whatever? something like that?
43:43 was mount tambora ain't that the bass player for bon jovi there's a guy doing charcoal portraits of boyfriends sticking their tongues out at the harry styles concert now what is this what does this sentence mean what does it have to do is this another character like glove guy is he like is he making a name for himself as charcoal boyfriend drawer at the harry styles concert is this our boys sticking their tongues out to be silly at the harry styles concert or to be like
44:22 i'm only here to because i don't like harry styles or something like what's what's going on? nobody knows man. is garbage bag wizard still hanging out at broadway cambi? kate do you know garbage bag wizard? i only know baklava uh baklava guy at broadway cambi and he was only there for a little while baklava guy sounds chill i mean if i remember he was chill by the way if i remember correctly
45:12 he literally would like go to costco, buy a bunch of baklava and then just sell it in front of the train station. and then people were like, we love baklava guy because we can get baklava without having to go to costco. wait, hang on. video surfaces of elusive ttc leprechaun 12 years ago. the ttc is the toronto bus system by the way. get nothing, pay attention. you're the one that won't let people sit down because they're fucking paying. from the national post?
45:58 what the fuck? they're just bothering him? ttc leprechaun aftermath of alleged ttc assault. you get nothing, pay attention. so he's not a leprechaun, he's wearing a green shirt and kind of like a bowler hat. i guess if he didn't look in the mirror you could understand. he is a little heisenberg coated as well but... you're the one that won't let people sit down because they're fucking gay.
46:45 what is he playing man? i gotta i want to know what he's playing okay, that that is really good
47:17 at first, please click on the front facing image. at first, i didn't... i wasn't sure about the ttc leprechaun, but when he hit his famous catchphrase, you get nothing, pay attention. that's really when i started to like this character. wait, wait, wait. okay, i get it now. i get it now.
47:52 the ttc leprechaun. you get nothing. pay attention. the aura is crazy. i can't let you sit close. are you on his side? sounds like he didn't want to talk to any airheads. who among us hasn't thought if not said the same thing at one point in our lives? oh man.
48:46 ttc leprechaun with the profile photo would be awesome for counter strike. and then putting the haptic vest, shove it, rolling up the haptic vest, shoving it up my ass and then just standing out of cover at long doors. oh man. i don't flash for airheads, pay attention. hey ttc, can you buy for me? i don't buy for airheads, you get nothing, pay attention. wait, russian dashcam videos with the haptic vest on?
49:41 i still think the south korean dash cams were some of the craziest man because the cars will just be like driving and then a truck will just fall apart. like the back of the truck will just like jackknife out of nowhere and like flip over 10 times in traffic. i don't know if this is true but also kate told me that like and again take this with a grain of salt she told me your first dui in south korea doesn't really matter that much so like a lot of the clips end with them being like the driver
50:21 claimed that they were under the influence of alcohol and got away with a warning. and you're like, what? it doesn't sound like that could be true. wisconsin type shit. isn't your first dui in wisconsin like it's a misdemeanor, right? instead of a felony? it's a rite of passage, they give you a medal. they don't give you money, come on. most states are misdemeanors until the third offense. what the fuck?
51:23 50 minutes, i'm locking in. i'm locking in. press c a bunch. what is that? what does c do? did you just want me to say some kawasaki shit? you're not even aimed at the hole? i have a natural slice! wait, whoa, whoa, we're iterating, we're iterating. oof. little softer, little less curve off the tree. oh, now i know, now i know. this is our power, like right here.
52:42 now that i'm actually paying attention to where to put my power, we're actually gonna get it. wanna know! wanna know! wanna know! wander, come on. what's his name? wander? i think it got him confused with that fray dude from, uh, not the band, from the game of thrones. wanderlay. where did i go wrong my backswing?
53:29 forgot about that song. it's to the right every single time. no the fuck it isn't, look at this one. that one's not enough power. now i don't have enough power, bro. look at my arms all shrimped up and then that's too much power. wait, that's pretty good. oh wait, that's really good if it just had a little bit more power. that was in, bro. no it wasn't, it was crooked. no the fuck it wasn't, it was bang on. he's more ripped than you.
55:05 the hell was that bullshit? is this the same hole from yesterday? yes. we have not completed the level yet. ergo, we continue to play the level. why are you wearing a bulletproof vest? you see the crazy world we live in? your own home is one of the most dangerous places on the fucking earth now, man. there's haters everywhere. you could open up your fridge. haters! pop into gmail. haters! open your mailbox. haters! final notice! action required! fuck you.
55:59 open my air fryer. wait, is chiblee here? chiblee, i have a billion dollar food idea for us, okay? everybody likes... wait, first let's hit a hole in one. what does everybody like? fresh baked bread, okay? what do very few people want to do? go through the trouble of making their own bread. it's true, you can do it. everybody knows it can be done, but it's a little inconvenient, especially if you've never done it before. you need the equipment, right?
56:34 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
57:08 and then in like six minutes, it becomes a nice puffed up warm roll of bread already, man. already exists. we're gonna make it slicker. we're gonna make the branding slicker. we're gonna get synergistic properties with social media micro celebrities, man. it's gonna be slicker. yeah, it's gonna be powered by ai insights.
57:57 they made fun of thomas edison when he invented the toilet too, okay? no ideas are ever bad. get it twisted. oh! not quite, not quite. this does look a little bit like an elon musk halloween costume, for sure. are you interested in watching mile end kicks? it's about montreal in 2010. i'll watch it on one condition. do they have spencer krug in it? does spencer krug make a cameo? he actually might. i'll watch it then.
59:08 she is the director who also did i love movies, right? that movie was good. she did. i know things about cinema. i've seen a hundred movies this year. i personally know wolf parade. they are not in it and made fun of it. no, you'd first off that's literally they could sue your ass for damaging their brand for that kind of lie, okay? your dad is not john wolf parade.
59:53 now if you told me your dad was uh wait give me some you told me your dad was a lead singer of uh library voices from regina saskatchewan i'd be like okay i could buy that but i do not think your dad is dan beckner of handsome furs and wolf parade fame okay? does library voices have a cameo? does obju feature prominently in the movie? has anyone here ever been to the hillside music festival?
1:00:27 what's your favorite the rapture inspired electro pop band from guelph ontario in the 2010s and why is it green go? which hillside? the music festival bro, not hillside inside in february, okay? i'm talking about the og. you wouldn't fucking get it man, you've never seen a show at the toucan. come on. you've never won tickets from the university radio station to go see north by northeast and then be like i'm not going to fucking montreal, are you crazy? i live in kingston ontario, i can't just go to montreal.
1:01:20 and then just like let the tickets expire on the radio station desk instead of ever going to pick them up? it'd be a different story if they gave you like a greyhound ticket too but i mean just the ticket is only that's half the battle bro. hold up. is greyhound still around? oh i think they went out of business but coach canada butt fucks him anyway. anyone here ever take the coach canada in kingston, ontario? they drop you off you gotta eat at that fuck ass tim hortons across the street because there's nothing else? there was an incident?
1:02:20 you mean when... so i'm gonna assume that you are blithely referring to that one dude who got his head chopped off on the bus by another fella who was having a bit of a mental health crisis. what is crazy to me is like i'm not making light of the situation but everybody acts somehow like it's the bus's fault.
1:02:47 or the like the company's fault like what what is the driver supposed to do in a situation where a dude takes out like a machete and chops off someone's head he's like 20 rows in front and he's freaking the fuck out too man like what is he supposed to do i don't throw any evil on the bus driver there bro was probably getting paid like league minimum all of a sudden we want him
1:03:14 squaring up, like, unarmed against a dude who just cut off a motherfucker's head? no thanks. don't give me that, oh, it's his job. like, if he wants to go hero mode, then that man is an angel. and he is a hero, but at the same time, i don't know, he signed the contract. he's the one wearing the coach canada fleece with the logo on it. like, it is the same as the...
1:03:51 the one where the gorillas are fighting and they say, where's the zookeeper? that is, that is good. oh, wait, wait, wait. i gotta, where's the zookeeper? it's so fucking funny. oh shit. where's the zookeeper? where's the zookeeper? no, no, no, no, no. holy shit.
1:04:43 wait, who said that was awesome? that's sick. where's the zookeepers? oh man. they do fight cool, man. like one of them was jumping in place. it was kind of awesome and also they both walked away. they seem fine. they're probably friends now. sometimes fellas just gotta hash it out like that. am i right, fellas?
1:05:48 well, everybody's laughing until the zookeeper comes in. yeah, and he's an even bigger gorilla exactly. he's like a gorilla that's four times as big as the other gorillas he comes out in those like the same gloves as the ufc ref break it up break it up. hey, hey break it up. just get on he's always saying let's get it on is that guy still around is he still doing the the start of the rounds? the dude who says let's get it on big john. oh
1:06:25 big john mccarthy. sometimes he says fight. big john mccarthy. he hasn't been doing it for 15 years? i was watching back in the tank abbott days when they could still like gouge people's eyeballs and shit. i should not have been watching that. they had fucking dao yuehar doing that? sorry, i forgot english chat. come on man. stare, stare. how's the chinese going? tai hao le. wo yao dian.
1:07:22 mmm, me fan. how about that? i was doing soy jack points when i learned beijing kowya. and then you're saying some shit like, beijing kowya han beijing. ye han kow. it's very beijing and very roasted. don't say buhau. i don't know what funny is yet, but don't say whatever. i'm working hard, okay?
1:08:24 i had beijing khao yeh in beijing last year. it was so good. yeah, well, i had it twice in singapore and i thought it honestly like wasn't all that. i would like genuinely rather have like a spicy chicken sandwich. just something i like the process of getting this whole in one. i like the process of putting the duck meat in the in the lotus leaf or whatever and then putting some green onions in it and a little bit of hoisin sauce, a little bit of the skin as well to go with it but
1:08:57 i mean part of the problem is like i just don't want that much duck to be honest with you. you'd be like a lot of duck. you really need to be going with some some big time eaters to make it worth your while. i didn't say poison sauce okay? come on man. the dev watching this knowing that i will burn out on this stupid challenge and then never play the full game when it's released. hey, nl thanks for playing our game. let us know if you want us to drop you an email when it comes out.
1:09:58 uh oh, hahaha. is that you? nah man, i'm doing it to myself. can't blame you. mood shifted since i went to pick up my kid? yeah, i imagine your mood is elevated now that like, you know, the being you love the most on planet earth is now right next to you, right?
1:10:32 not like you probably had a bunch of shit that you wanted to do that now is going to be like a lot harder to do. and i'm not talking about like recreational shit, we're talking about like maybe getting a couple of loads of laundry sorted out or something like that and now it's going to be a lot more difficult to do that. and don't even get me started on the fact that they're out of school now and then all the camps are like... what? any other parents in the chat? why is every day camp a half day bro? why is every day camp a half day?
1:11:09 so now you gotta put your kid in two day camps. one that is like 9am to 1230 and one that's 1230 to 3. and you gotta drive across town at instantaneous speed. as a teacher with no kids, i love summer vacation, you literally have to say the opposite of that or people are gonna hate you. you have to say, uh actually we still do work on our summer vacation.
1:11:42 um, just because we're not at the school, it doesn't mean we're not working. most of our work actually happens outside of the walls of the school. this is true, but at least it's kid free. well, you know what? fair enough. all joking aside, i do know dan beckner very well. i want you to know he thinks you're hilarious, king. i can prove it even. you are experiencing
1:12:24 a delusion you are experiencing a hallucinogenic episode but if you really know him have you ever relayed the story to him i'm gonna say it was 2007 or 2008
1:12:37 his, i mean it might not be a side project to him because i believe it was him and his partner. so maybe that was like their main squeeze and wolf parade was the side project but to me it was the side project. handsome furs played at a little institution in kingston, ontario called the grad club and i got there early and then
1:12:59 i was watching the opening band kind of posted up against the wall. it's really the grad club to know this, to understand this you have to understand what the venue looks like. the stage is there and it's a hallway that goes backwards. it's basically like a parlor and a dining room.
1:13:18 it's a house. it's a converted house. so i was posted up right here on the wall watching the opening band and then some cool looking motherfucker came and stood right in front of me and he was drinking a pacifico which is like you rich motherfucker you're drinking a pacifico it's that's an imported beer and it's 2007 and i'm 19 years old
1:13:46 you motherfucker! and he's like blocking me because he's tall and handsome too. i was like, get a load of this guy. get a load of this guy. then everyone's clapping because the opening act is done. and then he gets on stage and it's dan beckner! it was the dude who he showed up to the venue because he was playing the damn show. he was the dude that i came to see.
1:14:11 he just happened to have the misfortune of standing in front of a dude who's shorter than him and i immediately was like, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you. for no reason. never meet your heroes. you didn't know? well, i'd never seen the back of his head. they didn't post pictures like that on pitchfork media, bro. but i was fucking pog i named that album, if you're still relaying this information. i named that album
1:14:42 the number two album of 2007 i think. number one, don't be mad, i gave it to sound of silver i think or maybe ease, i can't remember. it was something, we can't argue that these are amazing albums okay but i think number two i did give it to the handsome furs album, what we had, is that what it was called? something like that.
1:15:13 yeez is 2005? no the fuck it isn't bro. yeez is 2007, it leaked early on oink because somebody at the record label left their fucking ftp unencrypted. you weren't there! that shit leaked in like september 2006 because of an unencrypted ftp and then officially came out as an album in stores in like january, okay? sorry, yeah, the vest is taking over.
1:16:03 great album. oh shit. few months off but spiritually correct. apparently it came out november 2006. sound of silver was 2007 though, i feel confident in that. and then things went off the rails. i was giving album of the year to like alopecia by y and stuff like that. i was like... and it's not a bad album but i think, i don't know, i was going through a phase. i was going through like a post breakup thing. it's a great album. it's got a certain place in the anticon oeuvre but
1:16:55 now watch this drive. the indie rock hole in one, they said it couldn't be done? come on man. why are you dressed as a sci fi guard? the vest is for your protection, not for mine. okay? he does... um... yoni wolf does say i never said i didn't have syphilis, miss liss liss. did he say hard like the bricks i pound my fists with?
1:17:37 i mean, i'm hard like the bricks that i pound with my fists. i was sitting there in 2008 on my bed with my feet up in the air going, what the fuck? at this point, you need text on the screen explaining the vest. i'm happy to explain the vest to anybody who needs to know. i'll explain it to everybody who asks for it in chat. i have evidence of dan beckner glazing you. okay, listen, first off,
1:18:29 this is too masturbatory for me, so i'm uncomfortable doing it on stream. but let him know i'm elevating all the beckner songs on apologies for the queen mary. i'm moving them all up. i'm moving, i'm moving, uh, give me a second. i'm running through the track list here. i'm moving fancy claps way up. i'm moving, uh, shine a light way up. i'm moving, uh, the album came out in 2005, okay? it's been a while.
1:19:13 fancy collapse was a spencer song? forget i said that. i'm moving that one way down. modern, oh modern world of course. i'm not pleased to meet you. i'm fucking not pleased to meet you. that's a bit 20 years in the fucking making. kevlar streamer? you know the streets got me stressed something terrible. a future in a maximum state pen is grim. hold, hold, hold. it has a rakish angle. that's bullshit.
1:20:48 can't believe you're still at it. what else will we be doing? playing star wars monopoly heroes vs. villains? we already, we got a platinum trophy yesterday. it was peak? i gotta get the lads on it. kino like that can't stay hidden. corey was pissed you played it without him? i don't think that's true. he was playing, he was playing mecha with the squad yesterday. aoc, ilion omar,
1:21:44 with the other members of the squad forgot who did i don't think it's uh i don't think it's margery taylor green she's on a different squad i was gonna say the squirtle squad and i thought better of it now i can't get like flight reacts out of my head margery taylor green green green green green has he ever done that he's a clever guy i think he would have done that by now
1:22:41 we're kind of becoming ryan reacts lately with all the youtube videos. 2058? no, it's 2020. 2525? i won't even be alive then. 6am? check this out. what did you think about the portugal croatia game yesterday? i didn't watch it. we have to ban var? it spawned an interesting discussion in my discord, which was like, obviously nobody wants a goal that shouldn't count.
1:23:50 to count unless it's your team in which case you do but there's also like there used to be like a certain amount of like a almost a fudge factor
1:23:59 in officiating that now technology is completely eliminated in the spirit of pursuing some kind of idea of objective truth. so now, was the dude objectively offside? yeah, yeah, yeah. but if we're really being objective, does being a nanometer offside objectively make the difference between that goal going in or the goal not going in? no! so it's almost like we had made a handshake agreement as human beings prior to var
1:24:29 that it was like if the referee didn't see it then it likely and there will be false negatives here but it likely wasn't so egregious as to have really affected the actual result of the play but now it's like we get the zoom we zoom in on the 3d and you know what when they bring out the the the 3d model
1:24:56 and i've never been one of these guys before and i'm not saying this is what they're doing. but i'm like, sometimes they bring out the 3d model and then people go, oh look at that, he's over the line. i didn't see them make the fucking model. i don't know if the data that went into the model is any good. you're just telling me, you're saying source my ass, we made a model that shows he's offside. okay, i had no doubt in my mind that you could do that. of course you could do that. with the power of computers, you could do anything.
1:25:28 so i'm supposed to look at this and be like, oh i implicitly trust this? well i'm not gonna care that much till it happens to my team. i do think it's really hard to be a soccer referee though. because there's like times that you just like can't call something. unless it's the the belgium uh senegal game.
1:26:11 then you can call a penalty in the 120th minute or whatever. but otherwise it's like something that would be a penalty at like minute 8, you can't necessarily be calling it at minute 87. you're deciding the game. you just got to let them go almost no matter how egregious it is. why don't people tackle with their shoes up all the time anymore? because when i was watching the world cup in like 1998, 2002,
1:26:46 10 times a game people were going spikes up and it was awesome because that's how you knew they really fucking wanted it. game's gone soft. i did laugh when we were watching, i forget what game it was but where the dude got the var red card for covering his mouth during a confrontational moment. kate was like
1:27:16 what was the red card for? and i said, well, the referee is going to say it. and then the referee came out after review number 10 decision is red card covering mouth in a controversial moment. and i went, what? new rule because of racist footballers saved myself by fixing the message real quick. that's probably what you meant to write. listen, i know i watch sports. i know they're probably saying some vile stuff. it is really funny though.
1:27:50 to give someone a red card for covering their mouth. almost as funny as it is to give someone a red card for falling on another dude's ankle when he wasn't even paying attention. okay, i mean, i'll say it, i'll say it! they got a hit out on him! thanks for saying it. i didn't even watch the game, to be honest. well, i watched it when i thought there was a chance the us might lose, but then i turned it off like two minutes in. like, i thought the bosnian team was supposed to be good. they have a guy who i've heard of, and he can't be that old.
1:28:40 yeah, jekko! ed and jekko! he's 50 years old, he's 900 you're thinking of methuselah. rooting against the us is pathetic, we're obviously gonna lose? i'd root against you in everything, basically. soccer ain't special.
1:29:09 it's not like i go into every tournament and i'm like, i'm gonna choose who to root for based on their odds. like some kind of idiot that's like, i just want the favorites in everything to lose and the underdogs in everything to win, like someone with no principles or something. i'm not like other sports fans. i think it would be fun if the underdog won for once. okay, real original. i go into basically every international tournament hoping to see people wearing the american flag crying.
1:29:35 and honestly if you win some games i could find a way to be like good for them. but at the same time i mean it is a... i'm waiting for whom the fucking bell tolls for sure. and it's so fucking fucked up that you guys are having such an awesome year for like international sports competitions. you're fucked up. fucked up president.
1:30:07 because it would be so fucking sweet oh if you fucking shit the bed at the olympics and you fucking washed out at the group stage in the world cup would have been so fucking sweet man fuck you they won the super bowl too motherfucker we also won the nba nope um by geographical latitude the knicks are like the second most canadian team raptors obviously further north than new york but i think
1:30:56 i think new york might be second. boston? boston's more north than new york? really? than new york city? that doesn't feel right. i'm gonna have to check your math on that one. portland is more north than toronto? that strikes me as something that could be true. because it feels like toronto is as north as vancouver, and vancouver is very close to portland. so when people from toronto come to vancouver, they're like, why isn't the sun going down at 5 p.m.? i'm like, bro, because the sun sets at 10.
1:31:56 you've never seen the sun before? we got a different sun out here. timber wolves are more north? not really, they spend most of the year in cancun. hi yo! you guys see the picture of wayne gretzky with jake paul? i keep my head on tight, i don't wanna play till it's night, i can't sleep, i can't sleep, the new wolf parade stims are on the table now. yes. i wasn't even fucking with the expo 86 album, man.
1:32:56 you think i don't like cavosapien? wait! in cavosapien, doesn't he go, whoa oh oh oh oh, i had a vision of a gorilla. whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh, it was a killer, a killer! that's... he's referencing the stream, bro! where's the zookeeper? ran over one of my 3,000 cords here. what did he know? c cannada!
1:33:36 what did you see? six minutes? i should probably stop and go pee, which requires taking the vest off because i gotta install the mod for slay the spire 2. we get this on monday. see you in a couple minutes.