Now watch this chip (Normal Golf Game)

Name: Now watch this chip (Normal Golf Game)
Uploaded: 2026-07-09
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Now watch this chip (Normal Golf Game)" (Normal Golf Game) — 69 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-09Normal Golf Game

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69 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 i'm developing a new moisturizer called poop moisturizer. can you guess what the primary ingredient in it is? i'm gonna level with you, holistic poop doctor. i bet it's water. it feels like all those things. you're like, oh, i'm so excited to have a dr. pepper zero. then all of a sudden, catch me looking at the ingredient list. what do you mean it's water? which is why it was actually so crazy. i had
0:32 some kettle corn while i was away. we need to turn this way. a kettle corn is basically just a big bag of popcorn, right? with some toppings on it. number one ingredient, corn syrup. i couldn't believe it. i was like, damn, there must, the amount of sugar in this to make corn not the number one ingredient in popcorn is like staggering. so i was like, i can't eat that. that's just like, that's not healthy. so i just gave it to my five year old instead.
1:11 and let me tell you, she was loving it. she thought it was the bee's knees. it's actually not a bad shot. i mean, it went in the water, but power's too low. or is it? or is it? oh, a little hook, because the weight was fucking perfect. oh, the ground. is the tourney already over? no, we just, we finished our part. now we gotta wait for the people who are lagging.
2:15 it is, i'm realizing, because i used to do this at friday night magic too. i would finish my round almost like at least two thirds of the time i would lose. it's not like i was fleecing them and then being mad that their next round takes forever. i would finish my round and then like be mad and be like, why does it take four hours to play four games of magic? and then i realized, hey dummy, look at your phone. dumbass. that's what your fucking phone is for. finish your magic game and then go look at your phone. it's that simple.
2:57 off the tree in the hole? not quite enough. aren't you playing the same people four times though? yeah, but i don't know if like the next round can advance until, you know, until the ink is dry. what happened to enjoying being bored? this is a long time ago. this is when i, this is when i still thought like the internet was a good thing and like apps were gonna save us. this is when we were still saying shit like there's an app for that. power's like here. no. now that we're playing with a little bit of consideration,
4:07 i think we're getting closer. like this actually could curve in a beautiful... oh, that was looking all right though. wait, wait, wait. i forgot the... we need to... then we want to stance up a little bit and stance back a little bit. mahjong game starting. can i get confirmation on that? how would you know? fuck you. unless you're telling the truth. kate's still watching the game. you're good. okay. huge.
5:27 whatever, touch the edge of the island. one of your opponents has a chiblee type overlay. okay, get it twisted. we are not, that's not the opposition. we are not ops. we just happen to be sitting at the same table. that's oomph. close, better, closer, warmer. we love our chiblee, don't we folks? we love him. one of the last true variety gamers, chiblee. he's browsing, he's browsing itchio. he's browsing itchio.
6:29 he's finding new stuff to play with a certified indie aesthetic. they won't let me build the ballroom. he's playing in a 500 person mecha lobby right now. this is how i fucking find out. i got one rsvp this morning. chiblee's playing with 500 fucking people. maybe the dreams are real. they hate me. no, no, they don't hate me. they don't hate me. they just love chiblee more, which is, i can live with that.
7:17 everybody's got preferences. of course. wait, they're gonna love me after this one. okay, that was actually really good. hold. a beautiful curve, good weight, but i think it's a little light in the... oh! oh, oh, oh, oh! we're actually, actually for real this time knocking on the door. same with this one. this one's pretty good, man.
8:38 just didn't quite land fast enough, but that was pretty good. we are saying, a hey, a hey, hey, hey. knock, knock, knockin' on chiblee's door. knock, knock, knockin' on chiblee's door. he does kind of, he sounds like, chiblee would not get that. chiblee would not get that reference. god, i hope chiblee marries someone whose favorite song is sweet child of mine. it would be so funny.
9:17 chiblee's first wedding dance was the sweet child of mine. and she's, well they, i don't know. they're playing the bass, but like no bass just with the air. they're not inviting you? bro, i'm probably gonna officiate that shit. i'm like they're adam sandler maybe.
10:08 please stop calling the person i'm playing mahjong with my opponent by the way. they're not my opponent. fate has deigned to make us enemies, but i got no problem with them. that's my sibling. they're my best friend. we're both playing mahjong. they're my best friend. apparently we're both learning mandarin as well. they're my best friend. you're my little best friend. i don't give a hoot if your toots stink. even that was pretty all right, man. that was a little too hard. statistician. wait, i can do this. statistician.
11:05 chapel rowan be like, is it causal now? i like that too because you could be like it's a statistician chapel rowan introducing her husband. this is my statistically significant other. that's about maybe there's only two jokes. she's a lesbian. one lesbians can have husbands. so you're the one that's not woke. not me. not me. i'll always be woke. two. you didn't let me finish her husband's business partner.
12:00 yeah, yeah, that'll work. hold on. wait, that was good power too. just a little, little off to the right. you know what? i mean, it would be, it would all be worth it if we could make this today. that's all right, man. that's dunkable. oh, what the fuck, adam and theum branch? how fitting would this be, man? no.
13:24 now, honestly with our old aim that probably goes in. did they ever make dlc for trick shot simulator? i think they had a good thing going for them, man. it could have been like a load bearing part of the metaverse. nl, i just got an ai gooner ad, please, i'm at work. okay, skill difference, ads are based on your search history. mine are all for depends, so i don't see the fucking problem. what's the matter, flesh boy afraid you might feel something? we can do this.
14:37 it would have been style on that one. not quite. now this on the other, no? okay, a little bit more curve on it would go a little crazy. see now i'm hitting the ball too straight. i'm gonna go back just a little bit in that direction. what was that man? you know what? walk straight back. you don't just have to adjust your
16:03 club, you can also adjust your foot position so that the ball falls sooner and rolls better. like that's great. i love that. and then we want to make ourselves back a little bit and up a little bit. 3.9 angle. guys, i don't have control over that. that's all, that all kind of comes together as a happy scientific accident.
16:53 after i hit the ball, okay? ooh, that was not too bad. when the ball falls down, when the ball falls, who you gonna call? yeah, i like that. i like that. when the ball falls down. getting this before dan is bragging rights? bro, i don't even think dan's trying. he's not even part of the contest, i think. see, that was all right, man. little more curve would do us good here. his internet won't let him.
18:04 i don't even want to say what i should say or maybe i shouldn't say about dan's internet. but what i will say is he needs to tell me while he's having internet problems, he needs to tell me if he's streaming on twitch, youtube, tiktok, and also having the always on stream running from his home internet at the same time. now, trust me when i say i understand that the internet should be capable
18:31 of handling all of them at the same time, especially given what year it is. but if that is the case, that those are all on at the same time on the same pipe, you gotta start by taking some of them off first. because like one stream uses a pretty good amount of your upload, depending on what plan you're on, but always keep the always on, it's passive income. that's never making it, man.
19:43 this took me two hours. you know what? i'm just happy a bunch of people are out there playing it. i don't think anyone would be like if you're trying to farm some gamer cred by doing something faster than me, you got the wrong stream man. look at that though. unbelievably beautiful shot guaranteed in the hole if the water's not there. they need a hockey version of this? i mean it would be nice. you could call it uh game seven 2011 and just see if maybe we could convince daniel sedin to sneak one by tim thomas.
20:42 you know what i'm talking about vancouverites? like 4 0 at home in game 7, 4 0 at home. i mean, i get they were trying. i'm just saying like it's... that's a demoralizing way to go. okay, i really thought that one might be it. who replaced adam foote? that's the goat, manny malholtra. undefeated as canucks coach so far. supposed to pause the microwave and stir the bowl? that shit ain't happening. i'm having it half frozen.
21:35 half boiling the way god intended, okay? same thing, i'm sorry to say. i know i still need to get on the stefan tech of using parchment paper instead of aluminum foil, but i haven't bought parchment paper because i don't make that many frozen french fries. i really should though. i'm not taking the baking tray out of the oven halfway through and flipping the french fries around.
21:56 that's like three seconds of labor per french fry. that's not gonna happen. i'll just let them get burned on the top and then be like the same color that they were coming out of the bag on the bottom. i'll shake it, i'll shake it, but if any of them require any force to unstick from the foil, that's the foil's fry now man. life's too short for some of this shit if any one thing is a fucking other.
22:25 the foil does, i don't know, like you wouldn't think that the potato would bomb that hard with the foil but they got close in the sauna man. a lot of those potatoes don't want to leave. do it without the foil? no, because then i'd have to wash the baking tray. you could get 20 30 good uses out of that baking tray if you use the foil properly. too much power. first exasperated sigh. oh the fade has already just hit the right side of the branch.
23:33 now i'm crazy. because i'm like, wouldn't it be better if we got closer to the hole? wouldn't it be 10 times easier if we were just closer to the hole? as long as we don't hit the fence. like already, oh but then that's... no, you need much less weight than that. that's a little less weight. that's not gonna work. way... oh, that's way too much power, bro. now we should be at like 7 o'clock.
24:59 might be the time that my south game is ready to play. no, we got to be a little bit you got to be like 730. it's like 715 wait on that one's pretty good extra long stream. yeah, and apparently it's only just begun technically, we're only halfway through the mahjong portion of the stream did you know what you signed up for? wires might have gotten across at some point
25:56 because i thought for sure i signed up for two games of south which seemed like two hours okay two hours if all 70 people in the lobby uh are on their game i mean some some things have come up for some people i suppose it's not unexpected given the amount of people involved check your dms wait wait wait wait wait there you go you're saved i really do have to give it up to
26:45 my specific table though, they're playing so fast. ooh! is this a recession indicator? bro, this is like nasim taleb stream, okay? my stream is not a reliable indicator of the state of the general global economy. now if you see streamers who predominantly do sponsored streams of games starting to hawk like
27:29 you know, boner pills and stuff like that, then i would start to worry a little bit about at least the marketing budgets of the games companies are getting affected. this is just my own unique brand of, you know, mental something manifesting here. i don't think i ever adjusted my pace again, did i? you're not paying my stance. wait, that was starting to feel a lot more comfortable. like here. oh shit.
28:40 oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. it touched the hole. it touched the hole. fuck you. fuck you. that's no, it did not hit them. fuck you. needs a lot more. why did it say fat? it knows how to motivate me. one nyquil latte, one blue chew croissant, please. low key. i'll be honest with you. well, i guess blue chew is already legal. i don't really know how it works in canada, to be honest, but
29:40 i guess it's legal in the u.s. that's why they can sell it like on tv and stuff, right? but i think both of those products should be legal. i definitely, maybe a daquil latte makes more sense because daquil's already caffeinated but like you don't want to be having the latte part of the nyquil latte and then trying to fall asleep in my opinion. but sure bro, i think in a rational world you should be able to get both a daquil latte and the blue chew croissant.
30:22 you're baiting people with the dayquil? is dayquil not caffeinated? i remember a long time ago, this was like... very good, very good shot. probably like 2015.
30:36 used to stream late i used to stream like 2 p.m. pacific time and i would record in the morning while i would get up at like 10 so i would record from like 11 till 2 and i was like, yeah chad i don't know what happened but i got like i'm a little sick and i got i took some day quill this morning and then i got like real i was tweaking during the isaac episodes and they were like, did you have any coffee? and i was like, yeah, i had like a pot of coffee as usual and they're like, yeah, bro day quill and
31:06 coffee both have caffeine so you like quintupled your daily dose of caffeine. and i was like oh shit and then i checked the bottle and i was like it does. but i don't know if i had a different... maybe it wasn't dayquil, maybe it was a different cough medicine or something. but i was, i was tweaking i'll tell you that. okay this is where we lock in because...
31:57 we were so close to getting this before. you gotta line up your shot like this. you want it to have a slight left curve. you need more power than this. you line it up, backswing like so. more like it, definitely more like it. line it up like here. not enough of a curve but the power is really good. that was it, i know that was it. don't lie to me, walt. too hard.
33:06 that's flying over. way too hard. can you put family guy tiktok clips on? no, but you probably can. you probably could. just put it over the part that says normal golf game wish list here. although i will say the concept of just having like an endless scroll of funny youtube videos playing on the screen while i'm also doing this does kind of feel like peak stream. it does kind of feel awesome. wait, this could be... it does sound awesome.
34:25 games are done. wait, wait, wait, like, mahjong games are done? okay, but i have insider information. the host, the admin of the tournament is presently at their daughter's day camp picking them up. so i don't think round three is about to start unless there's like a second, a second admin or something like that, which could be the case, i don't know. beautiful draw. beautiful draw. you're the height of fashion. beautiful draw.
35:10 it would be a passion i'm in a world where my beautiful girl you know what i'm talking about? singing in the rain, motherfucker. old. most underrated track on singing in the rain. except for the fact that a lot of people hate broadway melody because it doesn't add anything to the plot.
35:59 what's going on with, what's going on with lori lamont during this 16 minute broadway melody? shut the fuck up, man. he's more ripped than you! beautiful shot. oh, charlie horse, that's okay. just makes the clip that much sweeter. not quite enough. it was kind of crazy, there's someone still alive who was in the main cast of singin' in the rain. the movie came out in 1952.
36:59 who is it? i actually forgot her name but i'll know it when someone writes it. not timothy chalamet. not chloris leachman from beer fest. old. chat said it's rita moreno and i said no that can't be it. then i realized it was it and i was thinking of her character's name in singin' in the rain which is like zelda or something like that. zelda da goost. wait that's all right man. zelda zanders, that's it. i was close.
38:23 that's all right, man. that's fucking... oh, that's so... they do need this with multiplayer. i honestly... there's a few things they need to take this from a 10 out of 10 to an 11 out of 10. online multiplayer, rocket launchers for sure, rocket vehicles you can drive. and then a mode where you can actually do a 9 or an 18 whole course with these mechanics. earthquake pills.
39:11 dude, you've been around the whole stream. that's crazy. or maybe you left six hours ago and now you're back? classic thin straight. we gotta dial in our power again. that looks like good power, man. i mean, that's a good shot. it just needed to be aimed a little bit this way. then i wasn't paying attention to where my power was. i said we gotta dial it in, but i didn't really pay attention to it. really good, really good. i mean, we're dancing right around it, man.
40:30 we got people believing that miracles do come true. just needed a little extra sauce on it. no, i haven't been down to... i'm gonna free you from having to ask the question anymore. i haven't been down granville since the world cup started or like for a long time before that, but definitely whatever they've done for the world cup on granville street is preferable to what was going on
41:12 prior to granville street. or prior to the world cup, i should say. no parking? where are you parking on that part of granville anyway? you're not a real vancouverite! sometimes in the summertime, that part of granville is pedestrian only anyway. it's a walking street. it's a drinking street, for the most part. oh, imagine. oh, and a little kick off the branch. just if the green was tilted a little bit to the right.
42:16 what i wouldn't give her a little kick off the branch. okay, i'll kick it off. wait, that's not michelle branch! that's vanessa carlton. michelle, what was michelle branch's big song? it was around the same time as thousand miles. everywhere to me, when i hold my breath it's you, i see that one.
42:55 can't hold a candle to a... although, to be honest, i mean, white chicks did a lot for that song, zora. and i miss you. wait, this is peak? no, it's too hard, too hard. they've said you can play nine courses in the full game. nine courses, bro? it sounds like elvis' breakfast. no, that's gonna be peak. i mean, 18 is like... 18 is a nice to have, not a need to have, but...
43:53 much appreciated thank you thank you to the dev and to the the people reporting the dev nine nine courses of 18 holes wait nine courses of 18 holes 162 holes in a row best ice cream flavor don't do this again you're gonna make me alienate another local business
44:50 and i have nothing against earnest ice cream. i just wish that they would make more classic flavors and stop fucking around with the teas. if you only have like, oftentimes by the time i get there, there's only like four flavors left because the other ones are sold out. and like if two of them are teas and one of them is vegan or gluten free then you've made the decision for me. hold. so it's their fault they're a successful business? bro, i don't give a fuck if they make any money at all. i'm just here for some ice cream. that's between you and the bank to be honest with you.
45:59 i don't know the overhead in your business. i don't know how much your corporate landlord's charging you. i'm just here for some damn ice cream. get you glazed carte tames. don't speak ill of the dead, okay?
46:20 and also, i'm actually like about to pick a fight with some local businesses by name. but ever since carte dames went under, i gotta get my 400 calorie cake donut fix at parallel 49 slash lucky's donuts. okay? and then i go in there and the cashiers are always looking at me like,
46:42 and then i'm going like, oh, i'll take your shaken brown sugar iced espresso. and they're going, oh, shaken, shaken ice? of course we knew. as soon as you walked in, we knew you were going to order that. well, don't put it on the menu. if you want to be a snobby coffee shop and like look down on people ordering normie shit, then don't advertise this summer specials of shaken brown sugar iced oat chicken espresso. always looking at me like, sound cool as fuck. the coffee is good or the donuts are better. lucky's is pretty good, man.
47:24 but i can, i'll tell you that's one specific parallel 49 slash lucky's. there's another one that i would even argue is in a cooler part of town. and at that one, everyone's very nice. very, very nice indeed. but at the one that in my opinion is still in a cool neighborhood, but it's not as cool as the other one. they're always acting like they're like, they're like, i'm, i'm an asshole for being a customer and ordering something that's on the menu. donuts always hit though.
48:10 this is actually it. holy shit, it's been a pleasure. possible to swing backwards? having some trouble with it. not possible. wait, wait, i got some pings. if you guys just want to play for fun, we can run some games now? no, no, no, no. wait, wait, thanks for hosting. thanks for jogging. is it, is it over? gg's? i'm gonna type gg's. it's over? it's been over for like 30 minutes? i was told there would be four games.
49:50 due to unexpected time constraints. we're stopping the round here. the bottom six are out and next week the bottom 12 will be cut after each round for a total of 24 players cut. all right, well i gotta wait for the boss to get home. i'll tell you one that the sandwich the sandwich fucking saved me. wait. oh yeah, i've still got the vest nearby. i still need to do the troubleshooting though to calibrate the haptic part of it so it actually works but
51:09 thoughts on the millennium line extension of the subway? bro, stop asking me questions to clip farm me on r slash vancouver. they have complicated opinions about me there. i need at least my local subreddit to be pro nl, okay? so r slash bellingham sure isn't messing with me. it's actually gonna blow my kid's mind that like since the last time she saw me till now, i've been live the whole time. he's gonna freak out. post him in richmond? dude, i think they would fuck with me in richmond.
51:48 richmond has some cool stuff in it and it actually has parking. all the cool stuff that used to be in vancouver, but that can no longer afford to be in vancouver has moved to richmond, improved the quality of their facilities. i'm mostly talking about venues for like five year olds birthday parties and stuff. oh, thank you. kate, they postponed the rest of the tournament today. people had stuff to... people had stuff to... was their plane taken off? wait...
52:46 gg's boss? yeah, i should probably get out of here. i'm getting like a killer headache from all the overworking. oh, my head is killing me, man. oh, hard day at the office today. we gotta do something about you? well, can i say, listen, i actually feel fine, but in my own defense, i have been up since like 5.08 in the morning.
53:19 it's not, i'm not saying i'm the only streamer who's waking up early, but you're not seeing me at the very start of my day. i'm like, oh, like i'm closer to the end of my day than i am to the start of my day at this point, which might be kind of mind blowing when you think about it, but it's true man. like ideally, i would be going to bed in like five hours and 20 minutes or something like that. close. i mean, you can't leave on a run. that's just poor form.
54:09 that's pretty good. no, it's way too hard. thank you, nl mexican coke been stuck in my head. don't thank me, thank big howell. it's a great song. i wasn't fucking with you, by the way. it is on the peloton playlist. and i do not turn it off when it comes on. that's a pump up vibe, bro. plus, it's like all of the best funny songs. there's some real lines in there, man. she didn't even say goodbye to me. strutted out the door, looking happy to leave.
54:53 two weeks later she gets tagged in a post with some guy in las vegas with a ring in her nose. hold. this is really good. that might just be a dunk. little too much mustard. hot take but most minecraft parodies have better writing than top 40 music. see that's interesting. that was really close man.
56:12 that's interesting because there's a lot of shit. there are a lot of both of these. well, let me put it this way. all minecraft music that's parody driven is either or that's parody is either all minecraft music that's either parody. all minecraft music. this is where i would put up the doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. i'm having technical difficulties phrasing the sentence. all minecraft music is made. that's all minecraft music. that's parody.
56:44 is written for one of two reasons. one is for profit, and there really are like sometimes my kid will be listening to minecraft music and there will be like a band that is just like dedicated to fairly low effort or bizarrely way too high effort minecraft songs that are like just too sincere that are actually about having an adventure in minecraft instead of just like changing you know dynamite to tnt. or
57:15 for fun. which i'm assuming kenan's are because, i mean, not that they don't take a ton of work, but i mean, they're just designed to bring a smile to your face instead of to trick five year olds into listening to it. kenan's are crazy. just put a torch against the door of experience, bar and grill. i don't remember all the lyrics, so i'm just gonna say, i was the whining stranger.
57:50 a fool in love with mobs to kill. now, i actually think in a way that makes minecraft parodies more cynical. keenan, excepted, makes minecraft parodies more cynical than top, like in a weird way, more corporate than top 40 music. but i can't deny that like a dude in his bedroom with a microphone making a minecraft parody
58:29 definitely, to me that hits harder than we got a team of producers to make a song that people who have never been to a club think you would listen to at a club and dance to. that's my take on that. and that's the rest of the story. yeah, wait, wait, wait, got my pick stuck in a skeleton's throat. got my pick stuck in a skeleton's throat.
59:27 that's really good. we need to bring back the beta band. never had a chance, never would have made it, don't kid yourself. you don't need to type that was close. that was pretty close. the hole is chael sonnen. that's right, i'm imagining, i'm giving the hole too much power. i should pretend i'm wanderlei, even if the hole is chael sonnen, cuz he got close, man. too much power.
1:01:03 curve you foul bitch baltimore chop ass hit why did my kid laugh at that? no shot my kid knows what a baltimore chop is she's growing up in the shohei era, she only knows home runs and launch angles they don't know good old fashioned baseball they only know exit velocity rotations per second fuck it we go tomorrow i'm falling backwards after stopping the subway train like peter parker in spider man 2
1:02:21 i need the city to carry me home.