I am an IBS Officer (Monopoly： Star Wars Heroes vs Villains)

Name: I am an IBS Officer (Monopoly： Star Wars Heroes vs Villains)
Uploaded: 2026-07-06
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "I am an IBS Officer (Monopoly： Star Wars Heroes vs Villains)" (Monopoly： Star Wars Heroes vs Villains) — 83 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-07-06Monopoly： Star Wars Heroes vs Villains

Watch on YouTube ↗ Latest videos

83 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:02 we can run back one more. i was hoping we could maybe get to like 50 versus 50 or whatever. 8 is the maximum? i'm ready. start the game. i gotta be light side this time. let's mix it up. what's rose tico's ability? she's kind of like captain phasma. enter combat with a random villain. winner steals credits. i mean, mace windu seemed op, man.
0:50 claiming locations cost 50% less for allies. i mean, that's... payden, welcome back. move two tiles forward or backward. when you pass an opponent, steal 100. i do... i agree. i feel like mace windu is gonna be like a meta defining hero. you need at least one mace on the team. everybody wants to be on the light side, huh? oh shit, did someone take my mace?
1:27 who's who's mace windu? you're mace windu? now i'm darth vader? what's han solo do? access the cantina from your current position? access the cantina from your current position? let's be asakatana, man. although i really like the idea of sending people to jail. i use a regular guy in the fucking naboo starfighter. who we got here? shaggy harry j. allen's coming back for more. who the fuck is akarnov, man? who are you? who is this?
2:19 that's cod bane from fallout. they fucked up kylo ren, man. he don't look right. yes! skip, skip up. we can't see him. you'll see him in a second, okay? you'll see him in a second. it's a pretty good game, man. now would i suggest paying like any amount of money for it? nah, probably not.
3:10 would i suggest letting your friend buy it on switch even though it has crossplay? no, because it'll take an hour and a half to load into the game. come on, man. you could do it. how much did you pay for it? $40? $40 canadian? that's rosario dawson. watch this. i tried the sequence break. oh! early doubles. that's a good omen, bro.
3:51 and we get the tatooine sandcrawler early. claim that location, that's big. first influence points on the board. we roll again. fuck! jabba's palace too? holy shit, and she's not even jogging. of course we claim that location. oh, and the influence points. wait, what's my ability?
4:29 can you imagine ability effects in combat purchase three dice for your role? oh, sorry guys. i don't know. i don't know what i've done. we're not in combat. we're not in combat, so we don't need to worry about that. then don't roll doubles or i'll go to prison forever. eight. these are crazy roles, bro. damn, we even got an orange. i truly hope you never have to set foot on this dreadful planet again.
5:01 i end my turn. who is this man? who is this? five. bro, that's hyperspace. you son of a bitch. yeah, yeah, i mean you gotta jump to next neutral to stop the planetary monopoly, right? i don't mean to take your turn for you, but.
5:40 when you pass an opponent steal... steal a hundred credits. okay. yeah, where? she's talking like she's at pacific boulevard. i can't read that. both teams get 200 credits. alright. alright, it's something. what's wrong with kylo? he's given like a...
6:31 like lead singer of a canadian pop punk band vibes. oh shit, i didn't realize we had a darth maul. whoa! combat bro! maybe? no? oh, welcome to tatooine bro. pay rent at the sandcrawler. and you claimed it? okay. well it cost you a lot though. what did it cost you? everything.
7:02 i'm giving you an opportunity to peacefully lay down your weapon. let's go mace! get into some combat mace. let's take advantage of that one extra die. i don't think that's gonna do it, but that's okay. long ass jog, man. might i kindly suggest a fishing for my contingent on myself to get out of the cold? i'm going to freeze to death. no! i know what i have to do, but i don't know if i have the strength to do it. the fuck is he wearing, man? the guard side is in our nature.
7:44 the dark side is in our nature. a seven. you do battle with ray? is this your canonical battle with ray? but we get one extra dice, kylo. this is folly. oh shit. it's like an 11? yes! the defense stood their ground. you don't get a chance card, kylo. although i think you still do.
8:34 no you don't. okay, awesome. you guys lost a lot of tempo on that one too. five. that's a destiny card. no it's not! it's another property bro! i'm like, i'm going out of control here! i have so much property i feel like hannibal burress! i end my turn. basica bezos.
9:13 wait, wait, wait. jedi monk and warrior born in ce 54. that could kind of work, right? jedi monk and warrior born in ce 54. fuck, he broke even at canto blight. he didn't really win 500, he bet 500 and he got 500 back, bro. come on jedi, you can do it.
9:56 they use bby and aby. born in bby 54! flashbang out. bro, we own the whole map. we run these streets. okay, no opinion having ass.
10:37 d'arcyntrist. akernoff at the casino, i've never felt more safe, bro. ow! he done switched up his whole rhythm. the whole board's glowing. oh, that's alan. that's right. that's alan. my bad, my bad. a ten? oh, you're lucky. you are lucky, alan. so it is.
11:18 random enemy location tiers increased by one you fucked up buddy. kcm facilities just got a damn outpost we are keepers of the peace not soldier. we are koopas of the peace any binocular users in chat yeah, oh wait, i thought honestly i thought we were about to get a monopoly this my bed still pretty good though a five
12:05 looks like a whole lot of nothing, bro. i got some horrible news for you. they love going to the casino, man. oh shit, 250's going in for 250? oh motherfucker! you won a thousand. damn, that's kind of devastating, honestly. two sixes is crazy. my turn! sometimes the student guides the master. oh, a ten! that's a pretty good roll.
12:46 i didn't know there was this much green in the galaxy type shit. otodunga? yeah, guess what? you've just been purchased by blackrock. i'm cutting your shit into tranches and selling it to the lowest bidder. damn, doubles. darth rock? that is how george lucas was naming shit though. what the fuck? he's fleecing us!
13:26 wait, wait, wait, but we get extra dice. horrific roll. absolutely terrible roll. eleven? oh shit. the defenses have been trampled. that, i gotta say, akarnath, that was an aura farming roll when you just dropped the dice on the table without even touching hers.
13:57 and they get the fucking outpost? oh no, they don't get the outpost. mine is six though, it's crazy. and he's about to steal an extra 100 credits off you, i think. or not. i guess somehow he didn't pass you. he landed on top of you and then started from your position. this is just over? this is a very even game! this is an even game!
14:44 their eco is not insane. we have so much property. i will, well, to be fair, cadbane is gonna steal another hundred credits off of paden next turn probably. enter combat with a random villain winner steals credits. yeah, yeah, yeah, get your money back. alan. oh shit. what the fuck? he's got five dice, paden. you fucked up. he rolled like a 27, bro. you're dead.
15:28 oh shit, wait! i don't think that's gonna... what the fuck? there's orange dice in there? what's happening? the defense stood their ground. hayden, you've really, really fucked this up for us. that being said, i do think he spent... he spent 400... you're going to bend? he spent 400 to steal 300, so it's not the end of the world. you're going to bed!
16:26 spend 300? literally i played more star wars monopoly heroes vs. villains than anybody on the planet including the developers. the third dice cost you 200 bro. it goes 100, 100, 200. it's 400 to get three dice. come on. this ain't amateur hour, okay? you will have gained my trust. huge. huge doubles. w, mace.
16:56 and we've stopped their monopoly. and now it's all about the damn go events, bro. if you could get a 12 on doubles, we're right back in there. still good. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. hyperspace, bro? no, i can't count. i was too off. that's embarrassing. advance to the next cantina! we cannot rush into this. you can't spend 600, but you could select the tile within three tiles and move there.
17:36 you can't you can't spend 600 that's too much of our stack. that's the one right there that's the one. huge. okay okay bud.
18:08 the bro is from like uh, the flim flam or something. no disrespect if you're watching, but it's not it's not how i pictured kylo ren. the dark side is in our nature. we rolled a oh, during a go event, okay. i'm from flim flam? i'm sure it's a perfectly fine place. it's probably got like a tim hortons or two. if i had to guess... yes! actually huge. and i get the death star corridor dice.
18:48 and we get to resupply. i would have rather gotten the property but the doubles are huge because then we get the priority on the go event. roll me again bro and split the d. oh! oh shit. fuck you c 3po. i'm gonna boil you in acid.
19:18 it's a meritocracy and the cream always rises to the fucking top, bro. no twos. no twos? no twos? okay, and then it's house money. from this point onwards, it's house money. you don't need the mods to delete a message just because it's more than two lines long. like, this could be good.
19:55 that could be, i mean i can't place what the the tune is right now but third time it's been sent? okay well it's over for them. increase the influence of an ally or neutral location by one. i would like to increase an allied location by one. where are we here? i forgot i'm on the light side. i would like to increase, i mean bro you gotta take boardwalk it's the most influence.
20:38 huge. i have to sort this out on my own. go to jail, do not pass go? what the fuck? i got doubles, bro. i can't pay to get out? i rolled doubles! into the damn carbonite. you know, you save some money because i'm paying to get out.
21:25 oh shit. it's alright, he'll lose it all in the casino, don't even worry about it. mother fucker, mother fucker! you were carried last game, young pup? i literally devised and brainstormed the perfect turn that won us the fucking game. i won the game. single handedly.
22:01 acronov is not the best. acronov, they didn't know what they were doing last game until i told them what to do. yeah, yeah, yeah. what's that regular offer with chewbacca there? what's going on there? looks like he's breaking out of prison maybe? you can do whatever you like. you don't have to wait for me. huge. w. payden. oh, when they land on this, it's gonna be sweet, man. it is gonna be sweet.
22:57 probably right here if i had to guess. probably a big roll to land right on park place. could still happen. i love that you're not landing on any properties, that's positive. your active ability cooldown is increased by two. oh, dumbass.
23:30 do you get another destiny card? no, you're going to boardwalk bro. that's the worst place to land this could be fucking huge decent role all things considered alan's turn but your active ability is increased bro. what the fuck that's not that's not fucking passive, bro you have to click a button. that's as active as it gets what the fucking fool
24:15 they claim the senate building after we invested everything in it. we lose nine fucking points and they get the property for free. and he didn't even have to pay rent the first time he landed on it? doubles. there's still hope. this version of monopoly's kind of ass? this version?!
24:54 everyone requires a push sometimes. it's alright, we still win on go events man. ideally, wait wait wait, i can't even roll man, i'm in prison. huge. can we, on the next turn is it possible for us to throw darth maul in prison so he doesn't get a go event? that could actually be tactically huge for our team. not to quarterback us but, that's alright, nice try. just the fact that we got an event and took it from them is big.
25:27 we need an igl. igl is saying yeah, yeah, yeah, deploy credits. i'll save. i'll spend an extra turn in prison if i have to to send darth maul to prison. it has to be done. oh, and he gets an extra turn! and he's got doubles and he's got an extra turn. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! get out of jail free card. bail me out. advance to the next neutral. huge.
25:53 take your time bro. there you go. echo base perimeter. you know you're buying it. we need the influence. yeah, yeah, yeah. huge. and you're rolling again and you have an extra turn after that. so crazy. a six? seems like it could be fine. could be bad. combat with who? shaggy hair jay? you win those with your extra dice, man. you absolutely win those with your extra dice.
26:24 bro, it's kylo ren. he's not there's ain't nothing civil about him. mase windu, loops brother, dodge the dice. that's a bad roll. dodge the dice. low power, low power roll. oh, wait, it worked. use the force. use the force. that's big. this lightsaber clipped into the damn environment, man. and then start your next turn. yeah, do it, do it, do it.
27:03 and then roll doubles again, demoralize them. oh, another double would be so funny. oh, three, oh, but a destiny card you never know, bro. these cards seem to be a mix of good and bad outcomes. select a player from each team to face each other in battle. do not select darth maul. select your champion. bet on yourself, mace. yeah, yeah. not darth maul. anybody but darth maul. is there no time to negotiate peace?
27:42 this is huge for enemy morale if we can win against them twice in a row. okay, i mean you got to attack those dice. 100% you got to attack those dice. 12 on 3 is an above average roll. you gotta make those fives pay. oh, it's not your fault. oh, you fucking crushed him, bro! that's mvp right there. holy shit, and we have so much money now. huge. and then after being demoralized, kylo has to go again. he's gonna roll like a 4. oh shit, no, he's back.
28:33 you know what? that's pretty true. that's pretty true. okay, i'm gonna pay to escape jail. and then let's get some credits. oh, not a bad roll. oh, destiny! pass go? don't send me back to jail, man. pay 200 bucks to the pike syndicate on castle?
29:19 bro, my team is gonna fucking... they're gonna bully me! they're gonna give me a swirly! 1, 2, 3, 4. damn, they got capital too. but you know what? they're further from the go events. i guess we don't have any abilities to throw... throw alan in jail, huh? you need to land on cantina? little far for cantina, but still, we get a go event. that's big.
30:02 we're dominating on the go events, man. oh, it's hyperspace. hyperspace is good. and i actually get to roll this fucking time. nine? you rolled too good and got punished. alright, mace, lock in. proceed to your turn. oh, fuck. literally never seen one of these fail, man. there's no way. there's no way. oh!
30:49 what the fuck? three 9s in a row? we needed 5, 6, 7 or 8? what happens? it doesn't even count as a go event? oh fuck. yeah, buy it.
31:18 planet monopoly gains. that's what i'm talking about. then we start investing. has he had a single good game? i won the last game. i know it's a team game. i want it for our team with the craziest final turn of all time. okay. no, man. poor, poor kylo ren. you got to attack those dice for sure.
32:06 big plays! dumpstard. that is true, you know the empire be saying some shit like... scariest words in the english language? i'm from the resistance and i'm here to help. come on, man. type of shit that... admiral hux be saying or whatever. whatever his name is? lieutenant hux? oh shit.
32:49 i don't know why the comment that said my rocking chair threw me across the room is so fucking funny. i'm picturing like some shit from scary movie 2 bro, what is this title? you don't like my title? let me tell you something. you're my little boo thang i don't give a hoot if your toots stink
33:22 you a little too tame. i'll be shooting my shot like 2k girl i know tell him i'm telling him i'm next. yeah, i like it a lot. i'm getting head in the back rooms. i'm fucking the babadook. i'm six inches deep in pennywise. stank rhymes better. i can't believe we're doing this every time. there it's based on an original song. in the original song he says i don't give a hoot what your dude thinks.
33:56 we're not gonna make it rhyme better and not have as much fidelity with the original song, then it's not a parody anymore. i don't think you get it, man. i don't think you understand. what the fuck? i have to sort this out, guys. they sent me to jail. what happened? how did i get sent to jail?
34:36 if what you've told me is true, you will have gained my trust. your team lost the mini game? we didn't even get to roll, bro! go for it, go all in, man. good thing you didn't listen to me. great. you gotta upgrade. we need to accrue influence. huge play.
35:27 the dark side is in our nature. oh shit, i shouldn't have laughed at him. the dark side is in our nature. pay rent at the jedi temple, bro. you paid rent but then you also paid even more to destroy our output. i gotta stop streaming, man.
35:59 the brain fog is getting too much. every sentence is like i'm trying to, i'm fighting my way through like silent hill trying to figure out where mary is. what's going on? i've had covid 21 times! the neurons are confused man, there's no lighthouses left. they've lost their way. please, please. oh, fuck.
36:44 the limit is 20? nah, i was getting worse for a long time. motherfucker. jesus christ, if it ain't one thing it's another. they're dumpstering us, man. hello, chiblee. how are you? chiblee, would you play monopoly star wars heroes vs. villains with me?
37:21 that was devastating, man. that go event just completely inverted the balance of power in the star wars universe. i will finish what you started. you finished first? kylo ren finished first in the boonta eve classic with no training and he's never driven a podracer before? okay, sure, whatever you say, man. pay what you owe, villain. yeah, you gotta pay us some rent from gahane plains, man.
37:54 fuck, they're kind of dumpstering us. here we go, y'all. these walls can't hold me. we running this tomorrow? i think we're playing jackbox or something tomorrow, but if everybody wants to go in, i mean, we can fit six people. you guys want to all buy star wars monopoly heroes versus villains? i mean, check this out. actually huge. and this is hyperspace?
38:38 this is the new twitch meta. oh shit, that's not hyperspace, bro. that's hoth. of course we have to upgrade a location. apparently we upgraded this location. that's fine. oh, but then we're gonna upgrade another fucking location. let's upgrade that one. wait. yes, let's upgrade this one. confirm it. huge. we take the lead again. what's the park place of this board? that's the coruscant jedi temple. nephew.
39:21 park place? i think you meant the jedi temple on coruscant, which occupies the second last property space on the board and is dark blue. that's a fucking huge role. byeee. hyperspace! next allied location. no. next neutral. nah nah. next hyperspace. that's what it's fucking all about. hey, bingo bango... kurchuey, thanks for the gifted subscriptions. thank you. thank you and much appreciated. bingo bango.
40:07 virtually six seven you missed me i am an i b s supervisor and i'm here to help where's the jedi temple on dantooine bro shit never mind i thought you got it confused with the sith temple on khorasan now now now they fucking gotta plan a monopoly because they claim the jedi temple
40:48 and they built a fucking la quinta inn and suites on the coruscant senate building. that's all right, as long as we get the go event before they get it, everything's okay. i know all about waiting. i know all about waiting. is that what she sounds like? i know all about waiting. time for a bit of the argy bargy. i have to tell them we're speechless or that they would be dead. huge. resupply on the ewok village.
41:22 keep us in the game. love that little conbini on hoth. you gotta get your onigiri somewhere. people gotta eat, man. even the rebel alliance gotta eat. so the other people in this game are real people in the world playing this quietly in their room? yes. yes, we found five other people that were interested in star wars monopoly heroes vs. villains. i've been playing this for three fucking hours. huge role, rey! w. rey.
42:01 we get another go event. this is hard though. roll a number greater than or equal to the strike zone. crazy roll. imagine if we got 999. you should play one against the ai first though if you get it. oh, wait, wait, this could be huge. this could be huge, man. ow!
42:43 what's fucked up is that i rolled the same as everybody else, but now they're looking at me like i'm a failure. i'm a failure cuz i rolled the same as you guys. still, we supply 50% of what? damn. we got 750 credits off of that shit. holy cow, man. we're back. the sith are no better. whoa.
43:16 popfly. just visiting the jail. okay bro, wasted turn. low ev. damn, that's a big one though. loops brother, a double into a go event would be fucking crazy. don't land. no, not the jedi temple. they just built that shit man. raids are gonna be through the fucking roof. wait, it's not darth maul! it's not darth maul, you stand a chance!
44:05 aura farming, acronov roll. you can hit those fives. you could easily fuck those fives up. holy shit. what the fuck? i can't do the math. i can't do the math. oh, wait, wait, that's good. we're the light side. yes! heroes claim the jedi temple. they're going to lose like nine influence, bro.
44:43 holy shit. and then you upgrade, and then when it's my turn i get a go event, and then there's only one more go event. you definitely, you gotta upgrade, man. you gotta upgrade. we're almost at a fucking stronghold. favorite song on propeller? why is it the clip they play of soapstar joe? no, of super joe in back to saturn x radio report. i know what you're talking about. it says, sober joe, you oughta know how to go fast, how to go slow.
45:23 stone soapstar jomi, that's a track off exile in guyville, okay? but my favorite track on propeller is track one or weed king. it's gotta be track one, which is over the great neptune mesh gear fox or something like that, or it could be weed king. weed king has got a fucking bop, man. we need to roll doubles, even better.
45:57 not doubles. the heroes will attempt the challenge. i mean, we've fucking dumpstered them on go events. and you're on hyperspace? oh shit, the battle of crait. i don't think we've seen this one yet. avoid rolling the hazard tiles, huh? huge. that's big.
46:36 i mean if we could get all three, it's basically over. well, you fucked us. you fucked us again. don't worry, see this time, this time i did everything and then people say, well it's the least you could do. when it appeared master luke had been struck, the force is not to be reckoned with. see you around, kid.
47:22 oh shit, send an enemy character to jail? bro, cad bane, you're going to jail, bro! i can't let you pass go. get fucked, buddy. i hate you. you can't pass go! i can't let you pass go!
47:50 go where i'm needed. i'll go to the you know what we probably just want some money man let's jump to the next allied location and then i can't upgrade i thought i'd be able to upgrade after i got here all right. well, everything's maxed. oh shit. what does fulcrum do i can pay money to buy? acronal must be typing
48:24 i can pay money to buy more dice in combat, but i've literally never been in combat in the entire game. cadbane is free, bro. look at that. that's a dangerous duo right there. two characters who could be played by walton goggins. oh shit. yeah, but you landed on our fucking four seasons, bro. no, you didn't. i guess you did.
48:57 one, two, three, four yes you did! yes you did. i mean you destroyed our base but at what cost? damn. other side of the damn map. 230. okay, thank you. thank you. free parking. that's a whole lot of nothing. me when i land on free parking? i've had it with all these adventures. so is money meaningless?
49:39 well in the first game, wait this is actually awesome. in the first game i had negative 3000 credits and the game didn't end so i think it's just kind of like a suggestion. advance to the next ally location, alright? wait how come she gets to upgrade a location though? oh i see, i see.
50:18 and then the last go event? bro, we fucking dumpstered them. remember when we thought we were gonna lose? they literally only passed go two times. like... what happened to the go event? oh, akronov. sweet akronov. she still fucked it up. she fucked up your dice anyway.
51:11 defenses have been trampled. i can't stop thinking about trisha paytas dancing to king tut. i haven't seen that, but i did read an article probably like a year and a half ago she was doing a play or something in vancouver and she made a video where she doordash'd like eight different vancouver foods to her hotel room and then reviewed them all. i was like damn this shit must have been like 300 bucks on doordash.
51:42 and also, you really, you don't have to door dash like cactus club truffle parmesan fries to your hotel. like there's a cactus club probably within like a two minute walk of wherever you're staying. she door dash cineplex thinking it was a restaurant? no, no, man. she got popcorn from cineplex on door dash?
52:07 she was probably staying at the hotel vancouver, that's like two blocks away from scotiabank theater. we did it, y'all. i think i'm done with star wars monopoly, man. why? i find it hard to believe, but i think i've seen everything there is to see, man.
52:57 after four games. it really is like all the mini games are like a pinball machine. i really thought it would at least have like a, there'd be some variety somewhere. you guys fucking suck by the way, you guys are fucking horrible at this game. uninstalled. like if it wasn't for me, you guys would be in the dirt right now. that's crazy. that's so embarrassing.
53:33 they carried you so hard, they literally lost every go event. objective completed. ray, a.j. kloss.
53:46 it's crazy that the game you played by yourself, you lost 19 properties to one. hey bozo. the game is based on influence points. okay, the properties are a secondary metric of success. cheesy. we did it y'all.
54:17 how about it's crazy the only game that akronov has ever won was when he was on my team? why doesn't anybody say some shit like that, man? nobody ever says some shit like, akronov's never won a game by himself. can i refund this or are you gonna play this again? well, what you do with your life is your decision. i can't ethically, you know, given my place in the industry, i can't ethically say you should refund the game after you've played two rounds of it. oh.