Introducing... Michael! (Tomodachi Life)
Northernlion2026-05-04Tomodachi Life
82 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.
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0:00
alright, be so dead ass with me. how loud is this right now? how loud is this in comparison to my voice? very loud. sometimes when i open the software it defaults to 100 volume. that seems more apropos right there. i think i slash markered already, so we're already in the video. can i tell you last night, my daughter loves to play tomodachi life.
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0:29
and by play i mean like i open the game and i feed her food that she tells me to feed her and i give her a present that she tells me to feed her. but when i opened the game last night, you guys fucking missed something. kait and i had a second baby and she said, why don't we call the baby michael? so it's just getting a little... i'm not trying to get into the diana rossini discourse, okay? but it was a little crazy.
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0:54
so we got another kid now and this is michael. i'm not sure if you can tell but he takes after his father and i gotta take a look at his profile a little bit here. he's level one. he cherishes his parents which is nice. he is a little bit hungry though. i also need to check his age. i think he might be like age zero, man. what do babies love to eat? fruit. there's a little pro tip for you.
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1:29
what's interesting, this game is so much like pokemon. he inherited the fucking traits of his parents. so he's saying type shit and he says itadakimasu and stuff like that so you can actually like aggregate traits in the parents and then pass them down to the kids. which i did not realize. now i'm not saying we're gonna get involved in any sort of eugenics thing here, i'm just saying
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1:55
it's kind of crazy that we condensed like two generations of traits into an individual here. it's almost like real life man. kids might like lasagna. itadakimasu as well. smells like someone's been using the fancy soap. did you hear that? yeah, yeah, i'm thinking lasagna is pretty peak. all right, also, well, let's not spoil it.
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2:27
pro tip if oftentimes people ask me hey, and now i'm having my first kid later this year any advice yeah, kids love fruit, bro they go fucking crazy for fruit what happened to you amy blue wait we should check our stores first but oh
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2:43
also, i forgot to tell you, oh my god. so there's a cutscene when the kid is born. so the kid was born and they hold him up to the camera. and then the next scene is like they hold an object in front of him and he crawls over to it. the object was asia by steely dan, the steely dan album. and then he crawls over to it and he went, asia. the kid's fucking first word was asia, bro. a j a.
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3:14
i was like, i can't believe this is not being streamed right now. are you playing without us? my daughter wanted to play tomodachi life and then when i booted up the game it was like, oh, something's happening. damn, that was a big one. uh, it's all over now amy blue, because the thing is like, i don't really know, uh, i don't have any other personality traits to give you.
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3:47
i've mentioned this before but the movie is only like 82 minutes long. so like i'm kind of running out of characterization for amy blue. you could just make her fart. i could just make her fart. we got to make elizabeth holmes today. elizabeth holmes is definitely
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4:11
i was saying it in the discord, but like why is elizabeth holmes the perfect tomodachi life me to add to the island? number one, she's a woman which gets the most performative motherfuckers off my back who are like i'm really starting to think enel's actually misogynist because of the male to female ratio on his uh on his tomodachi life island so there's that's one big plus.
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4:34
she has meme face, she has tomodachi life voice, she has a fit in the game. all you need is a black turtleneck, like she's so easy to make in the game. any chance you wanna eat like a mushroom? no, she's already eating the mushroom. how about baked beans? yum. my god, she's not gonna level up. maybe that's good though. saves me from having to give her a personality. but still the ultimate will they or won't they? amy blue and connor mcdavid. that literally sounds like we got the news.
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5:20
or i got the news. connor, we kind of jinxed you last time. oh yeah, now i'm feeling it. oh no, she's wait this is good because she can sing the michael mcdonald parts of peg. she can go, then the shoulder falls, you see it all. that's my darling connor mcdavid. yep, amy blue is captivated by connor mcdavid.
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5:54
we'll fucking do something. feels bad not knowing half these people. connor mcdavid is the best player currently in the nhl, but in game 2 of the playoffs, all he did was like spin aromas to give the puck away to the anaheim ducks young core. pulse? i mean, he's the best player in the nhl. what do you mean? mckinnon clears? well, i've never seen connor mcdavid miss an open net in the biggest game of his life, so... or the biggest game of my life, for that matter.
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6:29
kachuk is way better. brady kachuk, brady! sorry to the sens fans who live in pea and ontario. brady, oh don't worry. your long seven month nightmare of spending half of your time in another country that is in the united states of america is almost over, you motherfucker! you fucking dickhead!
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6:53
don't worry, don't worry. you can go 100 kilometers south soon, buddy. don't worry about it too much. cotton mango? that's insane, bro. i would happily buy 20 mangoes.
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7:19
didn't ovechkin just get the number one spot for goals in the nhl? yeah, but he's like... i mean, i don't want to call ovechkin washed because like for age 49 he's really good, but he's getting a little long in the tooth. let's put it that way. he's a little unk. okay, mangoes was huge here. welcome. damn, schnitzel? chamomile tea? candy apples? thank you very much.
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7:52
and then please for the love of god, hockey fit, trench coat outfit, chima juggery outfit, coach outfit jacket, pla this is bro this is the dwight fit! this is dwight right here! made cafe outfit wait! i thought do you think this is a better chef's jacket than gordon's gun? ragged shirt, it's giving balenciaga.
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8:29
we need that for chat, man. that's gonna be so awesome for chat. trench coat for trinity? uh, doesn't come in black, i'm afraid. she's there's no shot she's wearing tan. str no, i don't even wanna talk about this hat, man. this hat is... so fucked up. no, man, no. rhinestone sunglasses, outdoorsy backpack, monster tail. oh, man. this kind of a bruno mars... bruno mars fit.
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9:06
buy one of those too, why not man? we might be playing this game when chusuck's coming around. ragged shirt would go crazy for zoolander dera leaked? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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9:40
no, man, look at my doctors. 72 i'm cooked. i'm cooked right now.
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10:08
well, that's life for you. you donkey. hey, is anybody watching? thanks for watching. who was on the left there? oh, that's my zero year old son, michael. by the way, we got an outdoor eating set because bob dylan wanted to put this here. it was big for bob dylan's happiness to be able to put an outdoor set on daniel plainview's property.
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10:44
now before we really get into this i think i saved up some wishes too. i saved up a wish. i could s oh one more wish? oh, but then you get two wishes for one. you get a two for one special man. um... we could just take some amenities. a ground light, a pinwheel? pinwheel could be kind of crazy. yo! the fuck ass steam clock from gastown?
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11:18
let's add some nighttime refinement to our island as if i play this game after the sun goes down. i'm barely even awake after the sun goes down. i'm not watching this because it's the same oh wait it's my son. we interrupt to bring you some breaking news. i will watch this. an exciting new travel destination is now available. an east asia tour is now available via travel tickets at the wishing fountain.
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11:47
size of relief could be heard throughout the island and one resident is quoted as saying i hope my roommate is gifted a trip soon i could really use the alone time. it looks like a witch has already been added. so someone can leave immediately that's not the spoon kid from the matrix. that's michael. i'm michael and you're up to date i think here's the thing gordon ramsay has had some great episodes of korean reality tv i really feel like
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12:21
we need to send somebody who actually has some friends, man. because i'm tired of sending them on vacations and then they don't take anybody. trinity has to go to asia. i know the wachowskis be introducing her to duna bey. fuck it. let's send a zero year old child to the shanghai zoo. maybe this means both parents come along as well. well, an east asia tour. i'm super excited. thanks so much.
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12:58
this is going to be so much fun for a guy like me. yes! yes! hanging out in seoul's book chan han of village. it's like stepping into the past or whatever. true! you haven't seen a street all in up until you've seen jooppin' old street in taiwan or whatever. say cheese. are they gonna let me wear the fit though? eat, sleep, repeat.
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13:42
live life like a panda from sichuan or whatever. say cheese. don't blink this time. perfect picture, man. kind of crazy that there was like a japan option and then... don't get it twisted. china, taiwan, and korea all get lumped into the same trip. what? i mean nintendo, you made the game. you made the game. i have a souvenir for you or whatever. a celadon porcelain tea set. that's huge.
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14:17
alright, this is fucking cute man. damn, she really is a light eater. she hasn't eaten since yesterday and she's still not hungry? um, why does he walk like that? i think he takes after his dad. he gave her a celadon porcelain tea set. irl this would hit. yoosh. art indicates life.
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14:53
he needs a fit? okay, you're actually not wrong. he does need a fit. i didn't even consider that. you could probably use a room as well. okay, you know what? that's a great idea. let's go to michael's room. and then press the button that allows us to edit his room. wait, you can nickname the room or is it you nickname the house? because i'm not changing it from the la casa. kind of feel like the polka dot set pretty good for a zero year old. oh, maybe childhood set makes more sense. bro, you're zero.
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15:43
your wallpaper is dinosaurs. what do you mean you like it? don't say this is different. yeah, this is different. motherfucker man. michael, michael don't go on the stairs. i can't interact with you on the stairs. um, hello. and then babies will be wearing some fucked up stuff man. like babies will legit be like dressed like this and think it's okay.
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16:24
who is michael? it's my second born child. yay! oh, i already rubbed his head today. trinity, don't play no repeats. say goddamn you, cypher.
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16:50
we could try bowling to pass the time. god damn you, cypher. let's play. are they bald because they're a baby or bald because you're their dad? i think that that if we're still playing this game in like five years, we'll find out the answer to that. i think they're bald because i'm their dad. damn, we fucked him up on that one. michael playing view split is a tough one. great job.
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17:34
would have messed up dad to have. bro, your dad's probably bald too, he just doesn't know it yet. harmonica? you got a rabbit. that's okay. we could have really used that rock and roll album, but we got some high maintenance motherfuckers today. all right, what's up, dan? damn! wait, it's a white rabbit for trinity. you're so real. geez. we'll probably all have struck it rich by then.
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18:08
so we'll be decked out in top hats and monocles true happiness is eating brothers cooking yes ma'am true happiness turned the ice cream parfait myself i set a new personal record yesterday i did eight push ups in one hour that might even be a world record i bet it is i thought your arms were looking bigger austin you can't say that
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18:39
oh, you know what? um... oh, i forgot what i was gonna say. it was important to... it's frame mugged by the truth. uh, you're feeling okay, but... memory is the first thing to go with age. damn, they hate her ass. ship caps, zap us, flimper. no, no, no, they're good. they're friends. they're getting along nicely. friends? that's male bonding. is when you insult each other a little bit.
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19:07
polly walnut seems to be watching daniel plainview closely. he's looking for a boss! he's looking for a new boss because he doesn't have the don. pardon me, could i have a moment? my name is polly walnuts, marron. hey d! hey! i'm known as daniel plainview. getting familiar. i could see polly walnuts talking about some delicious crepes.
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19:38
it's like a thin pancake tea. you can have a sweet filling, but hey tea, you can also have a savory filling. damn, he just propositioned polly w, man. how you doing, bob? haven't checked in on you yet. he's enjoying himself.
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20:04
i thought maybe he was bored and needs some company but it turns out he would not feel so all alone. what's new in the world build amenities all the ground lights. please come again. you'll help us what's the problem?
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20:27
one second here. they're right, being a puppet is scarier than martial arts. okay trinity, you need some new personality traits. i mean first off, let's give you your gruel. dodge this. forgot about dodge this man. the tech of giving them a catchphrase before eating is so good.
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21:00
electrolyte slurry? yeah, yeah i know you love that shit. it's got everything the body needs. give them real food? this is real food! it's macronutrients in varying...organizations! it doesn't get any more real than that. you know what's fake is all the other food in the matrix, bro! like the steak! the steak that uh, cypher had!
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21:37
does seem like we would like her to greet karate style. that makes sense. she should stand. i mean, if we could just get it behind the back, that'd be a little bit better. she doesn't really have a standing trait. floating might make sense. eats, we don't really care. big eater, we don't really care. she smiles when angry. and is she a public farter? i'd have to think about that. changes clothes when it suits them. mixing and matching pieces from their wardrobe. wait, that's huge.
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22:21
certainly not a scaredy cat. i'm gonna say you greek karate style for the time being. change his clothes is for bob dylan. that's smart. he can define his own era. i feel like i got one step closer to my true self. god damn you, cypher.
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22:52
you're welcome. yeah, that's avgn next to her. avgn wants to be friends with trinity. is there any way we could make that happen by maybe just doing this? never mind, they got their own shit going on. we got a few things to do. like michael needs to be introduced to the island for sure. we haven't really soft launched him yet. chat, there's a few things on the go here, okay?
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23:21
one thing is you need to eat something. i think you would go crazy for schnitzel based on your scrandle takes. sorry man, the butter cookies ain't coming back. why are we in the gulag? uh, that's your room. oh shit, now what? i didn't even think about this. i mean the easy one is just public farter. actually no, throws tantrums is way better.
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24:01
throws tantrums is perfect. and then, of course, it's time to put on the best clothes you own. you don't like it but you have no choice because it's all you own. you don't have any other choice. oh man.
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24:43
and then maybe like some really fucked up jeans, like some rocker jeans, but like black rocker jeans, something like that. but you keep the fuck ass work shoes on. yeah! yay! that was a hit! i want to be friends with kate. yeah, why not? great thing. it allows us to add some more stuff to the island lingo.
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25:16
what did you have in mind? i think an activity is good here. activity they should talk about is playing mahjong. plainview mahjong. you guys ever see the edward yang movie mahjong? should i add it to the watch list? playing mahjong. perfect. got it. i'll go talk to her about playing mahjong. okay, best of luck. morning, kate.
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25:58
i thought i smelled something. do you feel like talking about playing mahjong? sure. hey, if someone was like, let's go playing mahjong, would you want to get in on it? she's working on the grammar a little bit. i'm more into hopping into the discord. oh damn! for real. she ain't fucking with you, chat. i wish we had talked about hopping into the discord instead of playing mahjong.
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26:39
that's alright, you're okay chat. i like that we have some friction on the island now instead of just everybody becoming fast friends. seems more realistic. she is kind of obsessed with dan. it fucked with me when she said i had a baby, how's michael as a name? it's like damn, we just got over this dan stuff. now we're naming the baby michael?
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27:13
it's kind of insane how close we are to having absolutely everything in the game unlocked already. failed outlaw set? bro, that's jail. you could just call that jail. that's okay. what is cat person set? i think my daughter would go crazy for cat person set. so let's just tick it off the list here. you can oh that bro! i can put elizabeth holmes in the hospital first.
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27:43
because for like a couple of days she can be researching how to make the theranos machine and then after it fails i can put her in the failed outlaw set. that's fucking awesome. what is it gordon? oh my god don't ask for a fucking vending machine i'm gonna freak out.
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28:18
no, man, he's trying to redesign the beach like those fucked up renovations from kitchen nightmares usa. you should be working on your newest video, bro. you've been a real disappointment on this island. i've given you some catchphrases, i have not once heard you say it's a shitload of fuck. that's gordon ramsay. that's paulie walnuts.
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28:55
the answer is hollywood. i throw my knees are so distinctive and finally your last mystery shadow. who do you think this is? he's connor mcdavid the correct answer is he has hair that makes him look bald in silhouette he has a bald shadow, why are you doubting cuz he he looks bald, bro harmonica harmonica harmonica. oh, it's a rock. it's a pebble. oh
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29:35
we could have had the city pop album! we could have had the city pop album. trinity, i got something for you. hey there. trinity would not say hey there, but we'll work on that. go help michael? he's zero. he can figure it out for himself. follow the white rabbit, trinity. well, let me make you sure. it is a good match for you.
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30:21
you got the damn hiccups. honestly, let's get so well actually so many people have not met michael yet let's introduce dan to michael dan has a funicular energy. are you alright these hiccups? they won't stop i see this is gonna take a lot of elbow grease. oh, i just cleaned my elbows. oh
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30:55
who the fuck is michael? it's our second kid, man. the world is starting to have some emergent narrative. you need a michael pinned comment. that is probably true. all right, now we can start solving some problems. your eyes look just like bob dylan's. you would insult yourself like that, man? what the schnitz? you gotta be schnitzing me.
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31:32
he left the bad boy era? yeah, i got a sweater in the shop that looked awesome, man.
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31:41
now i think this one's automatic. sorry to take like the low hanging fruit, but i really am like a public farter. and i want to say something in defense of public farters, by the way. i don't fart in public to be like, fuck you, i want to make it stinky. i fart in public because there's a high pressure buildup of gas in my butt and it's uncomfortable and it's like, it sort of hurts a little bit. so i try to sneak them out when there's as few people around as possible because otherwise it feels like my fucking colon is going to explode.
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32:12
it's not like i'm not farting to be churlish, i'm farting because i have to fart man. yeah, that seems fair. mangoes are delicious as fuck. your relationship with kate went down? well, we did just have a second kid. nah, we're doing all right. it ebbs and flows, man. very in love to super in love. good enough.
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32:48
plus two jesus? is the nature of the soul crystalline or does it flow like water? yes, yes! no, you dodged asia! so in love the preacher's face turned red. i know it, but what is it from? so in love the preacher's face turned red. oh it is! so in love the preacher's face turned red.
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33:26
she drinks the zombie from the cocoa shell. so true. okay, have some baked beans. not right now. if this was true to life, this would be like number two favorite food for sure. we gave her a before eating catchphrase last night. that's what she says before dinner every night. i demand you give me food. it's a little assertive, but it's also kind of cute.
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34:04
now if we're still waiting for a mouth storyline to develop here, he spends a lot of time pondering the dice and toilet paper. i'm thirsty. no man your mouth. i think you would go crazy for some chamomile tea. huge okay, we can develop the character of mouth a little bit further.
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34:45
he needs an expression for when he eats food. because he's often talking about food. and he doesn't get angry enough for us to see him say, eat my cornhole. he does say, i hope you're happy. a lot. yeah, babe. that's another one. when ending a sentence, yeah, babe. as a catchphrase, yeah, babe. is this vegan? malf's not vegan though, he's vegetarian. but i don't think i've ever heard him say, is this vegetarian?
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35:23
frick off. but what the well we can't just have things that are like, when he's angry. we have to have some things that are like when he's not angry because he spends almost no time in this game being angry. i've got a new invention? okay, not yet. okay, we need to solve this. how about before eating? and this is kind of like a mouth plus corey combination. he could say like, needs some... it's a little fan servicey. mama?
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36:28
liz needs some mama liz. wait that mama liz. so it should say need some mama liz chili oil, but need some mama liz his cadence is so good. it's already good. i think i'm gonna mama liz. i think i'm gonna leave it as is.
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37:00
we're trying to strike a balance, by the way, between having a lot of me's, which is funny, but also deepening the relationship between our existing me's so we can get some storylines developed here. because right now they're all still very much like... they're feeling each other out still. you got the best before eating catchphrase. i can't believe we only found...
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37:33
i can't believe we've only found one food anyone loves and it's daniel plainview and baked beans, man. ooooooh! his new favorite food and it's we should start feeding him out we need to get these out of here, the two and the three, and make it so he only eats, uh, he only eats meatless foods. need some mama liz.
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38:05
half of the characterization in this game is diet. it's like chow yun fat said in an autumn's tale. a country is as good as its people and its people are as good as their food. nah, figurehead was spitting with that one. and you... wait, wait, wait, wait. oh, what do you need? i want to pick you up. i want to pick you up by the head. bro, why is he so mercurial?
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38:46
you need to be friends with gordon ramsay. i think that's your current story arc is you want to be friends with gordon. good morning gordon ramsay. good morning mouth. tindalonda. short beef. yeah, yeah. he said short beef. i heard him. i don't like paulie walnuts with that look man.
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39:10
wait, wait. could have been something. paulie walnuts seems to be watching daniel plainview closely. never seen paulie with this kind of energy, man. two of them will get along well because they're about the same age. it is kind of crazy to think that paulie walnuts is like literally a hundred years younger than daniel plainview.
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39:40
now i'm closer with daniel. thank you. thank you, maron. don't call me that. don't call me that. but at the same time, it's time for you to have some more italian food, bro. um, hey t. hey p. i mean, i'm sorry to tell you, brother. i think you might just be back in lasagna territory. yum.
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40:12
it fills you up mighty nice, so i don't know what you want me to say. lasagna kind of the perfect food in this game. we do need, i saw chiblee make a gun yesterday that had a modelo can as a silencer. we do kind of need to make a gun for polly walnuts to have. and i'm really not gonna like interpolate the picture of tony soprano and pio mai, because i think that that could take like several hours of tracing, but
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40:46
rolling rock can go crazy too. the thing with rolling rock though is that i need the avgn to fucking do something. if avgn would do something, i would feel more compelled to invest in his story, but he's not fucking doing anything, man. he's just sitting there like on his ass playing video games. no matter how much i try. go ahead. give me some vocal styles, man. and what are you doing right now? i'm playing with my dolls.
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41:25
speaking of which, okay, avgn, can we at least have you like make friends or something? it's too real. it's too real. he's pondering the controller and getting steamed up. ryan. oh, sorry. my mind was elsewhere. bro, you need some chicken and rice. schnitzel could also be a great word in the avgn vernacular.
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42:03
i just can't fathom the avgn getting down with fucking polenta man, it just doesn't feel right. your family's stuck in the house, you gotta add stairs or something so they can get to the beach? wait, you might be right! maybe that's why i haven't seen my family walking around the island in a bit. then your plane view fucked up the walkability score of the city, man. morning, mel.
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42:38
the angry video game nerd. he's getting there. he's got the spirit. you know, he used to sit in wonder... if you don't know by now. okay, so you guys need the ability to get out of your house. which honestly we should also probably give the chat. but irl needs some beach stairs.
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43:12
those might just be an amenity now that i think about it. they are an amenity. here's some stone beach stairs. imagine they're like, huh, huh, huh. hear me out, a potion that makes everyone within two feet vacate their bowels. it's an interesting idea.
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43:50
very interesting idea. i suppose we could also just flip our house around the other way and i could make it work. you know, i mean, to be honest, i don't necessarily want them to have i mean, this is like, serious dollhouse stuff at this point. but i just don't like the idea of my, my family being able to unacc. finding it inaccessible to get to the actual city itself. so if you would be so kind as to build a road right to our front door, and then
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44:27
fuck it bro. streetlight could be peak. urban blight. sidewalks are not urban blight, bro. why is there a fourth room on the house? oh, you don't know michael? that's michael's room, bro. i would like to copy this. i don't think i can do that. i think i need to go to the store.
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45:10
yes, check the megathread exclamation point michael to get all the information about michael. why is he called michael? i'm hoping we'll get an answer for that maybe even today, but it could take several seasons to develop that the through line to that part of the story thank you very much it's the wrong color man welcome
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45:46
thank you very much. looks pretty bad. there you go. i mean, it's still listen the island. no, do not undo the changes that we've done to the island. um, the island needs a little bit of work for sure because we got to build some new housing to accommodate like elizabeth holmes, we might end up honestly having to like turn daniel playing views compound into like public housing or something like that. but we'll see.
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46:22
okay, so you didn't you weren't sure that you liked the rabbit, huh? but yet every time i look at you, i see you observing the rabbit and smiling and clapping how interesting