Captains only do this when they're very scared (Directive 8020)

Name: Captains only do this when they're very scared (Directive 8020)
Uploaded: 2026-05-19
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "Captains only do this when they're very scared (Directive 8020)" (Directive 8020) — 131 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-19Directive 8020

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0:00 yes, yes put him in the scanner, you know, i'm real cuz i'm talking i'm not going certain the cake has been sitting there for hours with the candles man as much as you really nothing have i ever lied to you? this would be a hell of a good reason for a first time young i promise you i knew nothing before you did as far as i'm aware everyone was kept in the dark
0:39 for this to work, no one could know. i can't imagine how they must f i don't know what's happening! i can't imagine what's going through their minds. all that work. how they must feel. if i know them, they'll know the importance of this mission. crazy hairline for a bald guy. it's the same end goal, young. it's just that the objectives have changed. do you think it will work? we all put time into this. to be told like that. i understand what you're going through.
1:24 i'm worried too. young, you're the last holdout. so we launch in like 36 hours or something? without you years of work will have been wasted. if i agree to this, it changes everything. it's not just eight years that will be lost. i keep wondering, am i condemning myself forever? whatever decision you make, know that i'll stand by your side. i always have. but you need to decide now.
2:12 it's doordash and it's just pizza or sushi. babe, babe, it's a quarter after eight. we have to go to bed pretty soon. 10, 15%, 20%. it's the damn tip when they flip the ipad around. what are we doing? this is just iceland, bro.
3:20 make sure you have each other's backs. and come back in one piece. i'll let you know if anything comes in the room. i mean, there's like... it's a damn ion storm, man. i'm not sure about this one. there's bright blue clouds and it's raining rocks. there's arc lightning flying through the sky at human height. whoo! that's one ticked off the fucking list!
3:55 why lightning flashing across the sky? you're only young, but you're done and right. so she's named young. follow the drone man. man, he's a speedy so and so. yeah, i'm thinking as far as planets go, the earth's pretty nice. pretty inhabitable to be honest with you.
4:40 just think, we're the first humans to step foot on an exoplanet. they just keep making history today. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great, oh wow. hello, great,
5:19 there's water, gravity, the fact there's life here proves it. this man does look like schindler. just to shame the current residents are so... oh no man, take me home. they done crashed the rocket into schindler, oklahoma. where do you think you guys want to live? i think we'll set up shop right around here. average gen x er describing a walk to school. anders, please help me!
6:30 what do you think, guys? hang on, let me check my messages. where the hell did she go? how you doing? anders? where are you? are you okay? anders? your body is still recovering from exposure to the cold. do you hear me? what about you? williams doesn't want to talk. i can't hear you. well, she read the message at least. damn it. stop being very cagey. she won't reply for some reason. chilling on the exoplanet.
7:10 spelunking in the exoplanetary cave. four people on the planet, she still left you on red. something's out here, it's following me. reassure! i think we're past that, man. find shelter, get somewhere safe, we'll find you. i've turned on my emergency trail, use your scanner to find me. whaaat? that was the probe!
7:59 she's definitely dead. rip anders, you were one of my favorites. what do you think guys? this way? this way? this is like a bird or something? she really did not give a fuck at all.
9:11 rejector, follow the scanner trail. alright. sorry guys, my scanner trail's broken. are you somewhere safe? no, it's still fucking following me? i'm literally trying to be nice, okay? you have your wedge tool and is it charged? are you crazy? sorry, no. just hurry please. okay, literally like, fuck me. i literally gave her good advice and she's like, i don't want to hear it right now. okay?
9:56 whose fault is that? she did say, she did say i don't want solutions. i just want my problem heard. she's supposed to text back, uh, what? no way. that sucks. damn. fuck it. this is running the geyser. i hope you can find the anders safely. thank you.
10:57 most wholesome first time chat. only first time chat message in history that doesn't say, uh, damn this guy's bald. damn, i never realized. i've seen your youtube videos but i never realized until i saw your stream how bald you are. damn, this guy's bald. i suppose i walked into that one. maybe she can't hear us. she can't. hey it's me, my utility strap malfunctioned.
11:35 anders yes my contacts got scrambled really? yes, i think the storm disrupted the connection, but i see you are my scanner now you've almost found me. i just got a new contact. that's not you is it no it's not i don't know who that is or what you need to ignore them um
12:17 the other anders is telling me to ignore you? she's anders? so nolan really gives a fuck? they're kinda just like okay?
13:18 that's the... i don't know if it's the original anders, but that's our anders now. if she says it's organic, we know that's her. we're literally gonna live here. this is our second home. this is damn like picnic table or something. it's a patio set. anders in german means different. oh shit! what the fuck?
14:14 no, shod. who's got the gun? that's crazy. good point. she is... unfortunately for us, she's australian. mr. anderson equals mr. son of different. sure. oh, that's good stuff.
14:52 yeah, yeah, maybe you can help me. the serial number? yeah, the serial number's two. what was your problem? you had a game boy advance cartridge in there. yeah, i'll say, buddy. i can think of one part in particular. oh, the replacement ship right next to the broken ship.
15:31 a bit of fertility, serendipity. shit looks like the unity debug log. is the serial number required? it's two, dog. serial number's two. two something four zero. yeah, i don't know. how about like, two six four zero? hacker voice. i should call him.
16:34 so if it looks like this, are you circumcised or not circumcised? i think that's not circumcised, right? i would probably start by saying some shit like, don't... don't come here. we landed on shai city.
17:08 the fridge is stocked with several kinds of alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages. oh shit. previous messages? bro, we ain't the first anders. we ain't the first young. shit.
18:16 oh shit, turn around. oh my god, that alien looks just like me. not only can they mimic us, they can time travel! and sometimes if they get pissed on earth they just crash a spaceship out on tau ceti f just to relieve some stress.
20:07 oh, yeah, that's so true. yeah, he's so true the original crew were cloned yeah honestly somebody had to know was it you anders was this why you joined the crew so close to lunch? oh
21:01 it's too convenient that you were brought in last minute. you fucking knew, didn't you? bro, we're fucking all clones, chill out! why is no one talking? are you serious? this is insane! please, just leave me alone! i don't really care now, even if they eat me, they're just gonna send another one up. you're like a cute doggo. no man, he's trying to get the fucking key.
21:54 out of that. what was the name? was his name commander keys from halo who gets turned into the flood and then you got to reach into a solar plexus and grab. he's called commander keys and you have to grab a key out of his chest. and they used to say video games were not art man. captain keys. i said stop right there!
22:27 you knew didn't you? you fucking knew! you always knew about this clone shit and you didn't say shit about it! that's not true! bullshit! then why were you trying to run ahead? mitchell, shut up! i don't trust any of you! grown man named mitchell. oh god. is he... is he looking at me? is it bad? we have to go through it. be very fucking careful.
23:08 critical warning. oxygen saturation level 60%. seek alternative air supply. let me hit up the link real quick. whenever this reaches you get to bridge ops. there's something you need to see. yeah, hold up in bridge ops. can you make your way over? we're overrun with the growth so watch your step. what about anders 2? how you doing? anders 2, you okay? did anyone who was anders 2's buddy? i'm ready for one of these to grab me then i have to hit a qte.
24:05 swag best we can do is w. it's kind of like it's like a slow time the hell are we breathing then man cheek alternative air supply is crazy not that not the kind of message you want to hear kind of just been relying on the default air supply for just about my whole life to be honest with you well, there's no going back
24:47 there's no going back to that meat tunnel in case you forgot like a collectible back there or something. who the fuck was the door specialist on this man? we gotta figure out what fucking subcontractor built these doors and make sure they never get any work ever again. shit is so crazy. who's the alien?
25:56 ah, it's actually a misconception. it's a little ignorant to assume that all aliens have to be spawned off of another human being. some of them are just kinda like independent. it's kinda like how there's grunts and elites in halo. and then there's brutes, i remember that. but who's the other motherfucker with the plasma pistol? those are the most annoying, man. jackals. oh, i don't even wanna talk about the fucking jackals, man. can i go through the door?
26:46 oxygen saturation level 60%. yeah, you said that. alternative air supply. you mentioned that shit already. it's that easy. loop room. you may be right. you may be correct. i don't see the alien y'all. i've discovered the alien. we'll see the alien and say hell yeah. yeah. oxygen saturation level 60%. alternative air supply.
28:00 i mentioned that part already. kinda dumb as hell. i mean, it's literally a baby. we just witnessed it being born at the very beginning of this room segment. it's that easy, people. hang on. check the link. young, check in. i'm okay! why? was that you calling out to me? no. i see. fuck. my thoughts exactly. they're trying to draw us away. be careful. you too.
29:01 critical warning, oxygen saturation level 60%. seek alternative air supply. sometimes the plane sounds like that. you kind of want to like put up your hand and be like, oh, the plane just made a crazy noise. then you feel like they would probably just, i mean, if there was something wrong with it, wouldn't the flight attendants be like the first people to notice? they fly every day, man. you don't think the pilots would be like, oh, it smells a little funny.
29:46 discord pop up, sir? so true. could be pertinent information. mr. williams, we got some bad news about the mission. it's okay, young. all is in hand. nah, he's an alien, bro. that's how an alien texts. you're a clone, bro? i'm a clone. i ain't no damn alien! that's what i was gonna say. he took my line. okay. oh shit. telepathic ladder.
30:52 why do you need a whole ass tool to override every door? oh, you mean the my wedge tool? it's kind of like the swiss army knife of uh, apparatuses. the interesting thing is they call it a web tool but
31:15 the astronauts are a wedge to it, i should say. shut up, i'm trying to read! the astronauts of the cassiopeia have signed their lives away in the lives of countless others. every single clone they've created is a real person. a soldier sent to die in the name of science. i will not let them steal my humanity. i will not let them make me a murderer. i will not allow them to steal my soul, okay? thanks, macnamara. very cool.
31:59 i think earth's feeding cats to the coyotes. you think it's like, you know, we keep the aliens well fed so they don't bother a situation? or is this like weyland yutani, like, hey, we keep sending clones to, like, just further test the effects of, like, what happens when the aliens come in contact with, like, human cells or something. or maybe, i think they could just still be, like, trolling or something. i think this could be like a, like a jackass type situation.
32:34 or maybe it's black mirror, where like we did some fucked up, like unconscionable shit on earth so they keep sending us to get like tortured by the exoplanet biology. oh, we made it y'all. third floor, menswear! you have 60%, we know, 60%.
33:38 who getting the best head? it's definitely the dude getting the reach around, for sure. that dude was splayed out. that's the way? that's the way you want me to go? bro, you gotta check more than one, look around you! i don't give a fuck if i am a clone, bro. i'm already a clone, like...
34:26 base case of my mom and my dad just kind of like you know shaking up a little bit what the fuck do i care? you recorded the therapy session? i thought we had patient doctor privilege.
35:00 oh shit, there's aliens on this planet, man. oh sh nooooooo! oh, find a power cell. oh... how could you? one can only hope, man. one can only hope. can you vault over goo? well, what the hell am i doing in here then? oh, hacking with my with my mind, that's right.
35:56 packing with my mind. so you guys have a very serious obligation because chiblee is going to play this on wednesday. he's not live on tuesdays, american times. do not tell him it's ass. cause it's gonna set the stage for, it's gonna deflate his energy. let him like be excited for it and then let him come to his own conclusion.
36:33 it would be better if he liked it. he has to, at a bare minimum, let him find out himself instead of having like a thousand people go, yeah, actually, like the next six hours are going to suck. i'm putting chiblee's mental health in your hands. a bunch of pseudonymous internet strangers. average nl counter strike gameplay. too real.
37:17 tutorial? where's the alien at, bro? let me at him. oh shit, end of wall puzzle? this is like the final boss of puzzles. fuck, man. oh, so he can step on the glass? yeah, do your roar. do the roar! do the roar! an all girl only roars when it's very angry. fuck it, bro. what did i just power up? does anybody even know?
38:56 is that good? still out of power? you really know what you're asking me to do. junction, nothing, nothing. junction, okay. junction is good. shit, almost got me to walk on broken glass. i did want to ask, without putting like a staggering amount of evil on them, i was talking to kate. what the fuck happened to quantic dream, man?
39:44 they came out with detroit and like at the time they were like a really respected studio and even detroit came out and a lot of people were like this is awesome and i was like this is i'm not i'm not suggesting that my reaction to detroit become human killed quantic dream.
40:06 but there were still people like playing that game when it came out that were like this is revolutionizing the way that stories should be told in video games. but then the shine came off the rose somehow and i did he just go into hiding or something? like what happened? because i'm pretty sure that shit came out in like 2018. it's been almost 10 years man. ain't no power getting to the damn thing man. alrighty.
41:04 at least they've mercifully not made us go through the hide and seek section here. wasn't there another... a power junction like way closer? i lost my fucking mind. it's under the stairs. motherfucker, man. you're a clone? we're literally all made up of other people's genes, bro. don't overthink it. i don't give a fuck if i'm a clone, i'm alive.
41:57 is that good? that seems good. what the fuck, we opened all doors? we ulted? go through where again? okay, up there. they teleport the fella in front of you, man. like, what are we doing? the fella port. they teleport the dude in front of you.
42:57 it's another tp spot, be careful. didn't i... didn't we fucking override the door, man? oh, we got a... all door function overridden. door now able to be overridden. i mean, it's fucked up in here too. move through the infested deck. if his room looks like this, don't sleep with him, okay? make me a promise. and don't clean it up for him.
43:51 make him develop some self respect. fucking whole w haunted house. no man, no! no, no, no! i'm not... are you crazy? over here, now! you won't get whacked! oh, i guess we'll be going that way. no, dude did not say huh, right?
44:48 most extreme german reaction. did you see a minecraft creeper in the smoke? i saw a minecraft creeper in the smoke when i was mashing the a button. who gives a shit man, at all?
45:35 again, the aliens just fucking chase you and eat you. they make no effort to appear human. hello, young. what's going on? we have received a message from earth. would you like to hear it? play the message. it's a new abgn video. as you wish. i know this will be difficult to hear, but if you're still out there, you deserve the truth. the government knows what's on that planet.
46:21 they've known since corrptus beamed back its first report. they chose to keep the life form a secret, scrubbed the survey report clean, told corinth to carry on as planned, easily designed her ships. we all went through training, but nobody knew what they were really planning. not even the ceo. when we got into those pods, copied our personalities, our memories, and uploaded them to synthetic bodies. your clones.
46:56 there is no andromeda mission following you. there's another cassiopeia and behind that another there's a chain of ships out there in space with more to follow until we fully understand the entity a program we all signed up to once we learn the truth they just keep crashing ships into the planet
47:21 and to see how the life form responds to us. with each cycle, earth learns more. we send new ships and we tweak our teams for new scenarios. next to you, we're winning this war. stop it. fucking liars. well, so much for confidentiality. you son of a bitch.
47:50 bro, i i've almost been shot and burned to death and... a lot of people said it was crazy to sign up for a suicide mission. ohhh kay. mm.
48:24 of course my original self would never have risked his life out here. yeah, but why would you send the clone of yourself? i can't trust you at all, but you could just send anybody. i owe you some answers or nobody yeah, why why did you join the mission? why the hell did you join up to this? somebody on board had to carry out instructions from earth somebody i could trust so you were acting dumb all this time. what can i say? oh
48:58 i'm a good liar. now you have the truth, warts and all. the question is, what are you going to do about it? play the rest of the tape. you're still calling it a tape, huh? that's interesting. it's just, i mean, this is many centuries i'm assuming in the future. do we should 1v1, 1v1 in basketball, winner gets the ship. i accept, oh shit, we're sending it. i accept that he sent himself because you can only trust yourself.
49:45 of all the problems i might have with the game, i think that twist is not crazy. sweet dreams everyone. see you in four years. i feel for you, man. just a few hours sleep and then you guys are up for four years. try not to kill each other. we all have a vital part to play on this ship. i'm grateful to be here with every one of you. it's an honor, sir. see you on the other side. the fit is so good.
50:24 wouldn't it be better to only send clones that know the truth? i don't, i mean i guess they're studying how human beings react to first contacts. so they want like a unfiltered reaction. but like, i mean to me it doesn't seem like you need to build like a you know billions of dollars in spaceships and then just keep crashing them into the planet.
51:10 what's going on? i was gonna say something, i was gonna say couldn't you just send... couldn't you just send prisoners? couldn't you just launch like one ship with like a lot of prisoners on it and crash that ship onto the planet? they're saying cut his mic. only the people that we 100% know did irredeemable crimes without a shadow of a doubt. it was right then. i'm just disappointed.
51:48 you'll get another chance. they shouldn't have shoplifted if they didn't wanna be cloned and then crash landed on an exoplanet with a life form we've never experienced before. god knows how long, who knows what state we'll be in then. if what's out there is as bad as they think, it's safer to be here. why couldn't it be simple? no, why couldn't it be simple? the real crew on the real mission. this is what the real mission was destined to be.
52:29 we just didn't know it until now. don't you think that's awful? everything we trained for was a lie young. what do you think the other versions of you would do? what are the versions of me, you know yourself and they will too. you're right i'm just not sure i'm making the right choice no matter what you choose i respect it. i mean you could never let me down never i
53:16 tom bergeron ass sounds like someone's about to get hit in the nuts on america's funniest home videos you've passed the test now unfortunately
54:24 it matters very little. now we know that it's organic. now we know that it's organic and it replicates at an alarming pace.
55:05 and yet we know how humans react when a when an alien tries to attack them. when an alien stabs you in the stomach and disembowels you, you die. oh no, it's health canada's ai agent! nooooooo!
55:37 you mean there's no way out of this? escape from the cycle is impossible. i'm sorry. i don't know, i think... why not send... they did send real people. real people? they sent real clones. you are real people. that's what i'm saying! it is more controllable this way. the risk to unique organic human life is lower. i apologize if this seems inhumane. so many souls. so many different versions of me. all trying to get back to one person.
56:15 we are one and the same. i am still me, and i will find my way to micaiah. my stoic king. so that's it. finished. it's over. i saw it. clear as day. there's more than one cassiopeia on this planet. corinth has sent the cassiopeia here before. again and again. dental plan. with the same crew. which crew? i don't understand. now who are you? this can't be it.
57:04 it can't be true. it doesn't make any sense. is anyone gonna get that alarm? chad, what are you doing in this situation? you find out you're a clone who's sent on a one way mission to die on an exoplanet. probably watch some movies. i mean like... you still thinking of feeding me to the plants when i die? i think i would definitely accept death. i don't think i'm finding a way out. but i'd probably try to hang on for a minute. watch a couple movies.
57:58 probably not all i know is if there's a real mitchell out there who agrees the new spider is a jerk. i appreciate that thank you appreciate that maybe i finally watch spider verse yeah, it'd be man probably play through the game again. try to get deathless. you see that it's gotta be the booster ring that's star link bro. what the booster ring? yeah, that's what we're looking at. it's got air emergency supplies okay hawking
58:46 problem is we need a spaceship to get to it. the cassiopeia isn't going anywhere. what about the sev? if we can dump the rain they didn't get they were already in the air when the stephen hawking news dropped. they don't blame them. which is better than down here. they were like, ah, we've taken off from earth.
59:10 i've got my two most prized possessions. a brief history of time by stephen hawking and the collected works of kevin spacey. i'd rather not just kick back and wait to die, thanks though. you're not dying.
59:28 you're not even living. you're a tool. you're a tool. you're a savior of the human race. and though this body will die, your legacy will grow with every cycle. i'm staying here to fulfill my destiny. fuck you. oh yeah, you're coming with me. no way, man. you're coming with me. even if i have to drag you back to earth. why?
59:59 i don't know if i'll control you. we got diaspora pam on tap, bro. oh shit. unless...
1:00:29 it gets rained out or someone suffers a medical emergency and thus they delay the game out of a sense of decorum which is it doesn't happen that often but has happened a couple times. why do we even have a computer man? why do we even have a computer? we have to go back down. the only way to get fuel up here is to manually reroute it through the science deck then
1:01:05 pump it up from all the way down in bloody engineering. fuck that shit bro, give me the maid. i'm gonna go down there and get this done. pump it. louder! it's crazy to have this as a denouement just because like, i feel like we don't really give a fuck whether they live or die. god fucking damn it! not because they're clones but just because like there's like a 99.9% chance they're gonna die anyway so like where's the tension?
1:01:45 unknown substance detected? yeah, yeah man, i know. i know. we're not going anywhere till this is unblocked. here, that's where we need to go. got it. let's get this done. can you hear me? mitchell! i'm not gonna let you die up there. if you can hear me. you could have come down with it just like a second ago, right? there's one.
1:02:53 terrifying. you must sneak past the life form. bro, that might be the real one for all i know. deck 2 locker room. crew lounge. about all that. well, i can't even get in there, can i? probably send it to the deck 2 locker room then. probably evade the life form at all costs. fuck, it passed me a cold one?
1:04:00 i'd have a non alcoholic kind of zero in this situation. 100% man, 100%. so we're just, i guess this is just a room where you hide. can you rank something? you give me something to rank, i'd be happy to rank it. where the hell am i? types of dinosaurs? that's tough man. i always like the tall ones. the salad eaters. brachiosaurus, argentinosaurus, stuff like that.
1:04:57 got nothing against a t rex or a carnotaurus or something like that, but i like the non violent ones with the long neck. yeah, the sauropods, exactly. i mean, it's gonna be crazy if we could just walk to that door after everything we've been through. i guess you can just walk over to it, man.
1:05:48 no, she has misophonia! oh, the streamer! the streamer hated the microphone! no shot, bro. who's this fella? who's this playboy? he's gonna turn around and have like half a face or something like that?
1:06:43 wait... spider man music? he's being a shit. oh no. yes, yes, and then they indicted me. but how do we know it's not the real mitchell? that ain't a koopa man, that's bowser!
1:07:37 hunter screams. i hate it. it looks like he could just kinda like slice right through the back of him. mmm, that sneak past the life form feeling. when the life form come out sizzling, man. here we go. alright, yeah, quick. check the messages real quick. let them know if you find anything.
1:08:27 how about new anders? hey question. you think there's anything we should have done differently this mission? oh many things. too many to list here. i'll be thinking on this mission for a long long time. she doesn't know she a damn alien man. my bad y'all. or whatever. or not. bro has 50 eyes. always think about like what um
1:09:31 must go through like an ant's head when it sees a human being. given its position relative to the average fella, like i don't know if they can perceive us that well. like can you imagine you're just like minding your own business and then all of a sudden something that's literally like 10,000 times bigger than you comes into your pov? you're freaking the fuck out man. your mom?
1:10:07 i don't even want to talk about the fact that this needs a power cell, man. like, i always wonder what's going through a spider's mind when it comes into my bathroom and it's like, oh shit. look at all this huge shit in the bathroom. whoa, what a weird tree filled with water. and an even stranger tree that water comes out of. and then all of a sudden, like, i'm in the bathroom and it goes, whoa! what the hell is that? that tree's moving!
1:11:00 who fucking knows, man? it's true, water does come out of that tree too. spiders don't speak english. spiders speak the native language or wherever they were born. so spiders in canada speak english or french? french canadian spiders? yeah. petrogois. guess i'm gonna be going through here then. never mind, dawg. guess i'll just be going in there for a second to get him to break... like you can only play... these games are for people that don't play video games, but you have to know
1:12:05 how scripting in a video game works in order to make progress. how would my mom know that you have to go into that room? she fucking wouldn't bro, until i told her. deadass, i think it's the worst game they've made. i think it's without being hyperbolic, i actually think it's like an order of magnitude worse than the last bad one they made. like house of ashes was good.
1:12:49 not just by their standards, like i think that was one of the better, like narrative cinematic adventure games maybe that i've ever played. okay, frank stone. frank stone had some problems. i don't recall doing as many door and switch puzzles. and then walk out like a boss. the devil in me, at least like i don't remember it being good. let's put it that way. the corey is good.
1:13:32 who where? maybe seven meters. but i do at least remember it being like campy. like i played these games a little bit for like some campy kind of like slasher flick sort of like fun. my bad. and this one i'm not 100% sure man. although weirdly enough i do, i don't dislike the story beats they made in this one. it's just like the
1:14:10 the gameplay is just so crazy. it's so boring. it's the... it's kind of mind boggling how, uh... how tedious the... the story or the, uh, the gameplay is in this. turn the whole ship into the damn mess hall. sneak past the life form, huh? here we go. yo. i ain't walking over the damn... what the hell?
1:15:09 they took a short cut. they took a damn short cut. that'll buy us some time. damn, we should have just been doing this the whole time, man. no! guess what? oh, shit. don't make me get another power cell in a room covered with broken glass, man. oh my god. and this one's got like multiple doors that need power. find my seven power cells.
1:16:20 we should play slenderman. what's the best five nights at freddy's? these look like the most primo seats on the airplane, man. not on the airplane, but at the gate. they should just put a charger in every seat, man. why they got like one outlet? everybody wants the charger. cost? phone charger though? it's 10 bucks maybe? they like watching the peons fight. too true. currently powering door. in a game like this, that's awesome to hear. what's yeti saying?
1:17:19 they've been telling me to stop the stream for like at least 20 minutes. and as usual, i take it under advisement and i persevere of my own accord. it's still live. it ends today. we cannot let this stretch for another day. it's also great advice if you're doing like a school assignment that you don't like. finish the school assignment as quickly as possible.
1:18:05 it's kind of like a middle schooler's idea of how school works, because once you get really high up, it can take months to actually finish the project or whatever. but if we're talking about a paper or some shit, just do it, man. don't do half of it and then go, i'll do the other half tomorrow. then you're ruining two days. just ruin one day instead. well, that was a good use of everybody's time. so i mean, the game has been... it's going to clock in at around seven hours.
1:19:01 almost all of it is just waiting for a motherfucker to move slightly out of the way. move, man! at this point i'll fucking risk it, dude. damn it! you're helping out the dan refugees?
1:19:43 i will say, i know that the always on channel is programmed by one of the dan chatters. it was a nefarious ass move to put on the itinerary a bunch of dang packs. you're really on the... like, i was in the always on channel before my ride this morning, because it's the only person that i have live at like 5.30 in the morning. people were in the chat, like, pogging up over somebody getting a good drop in a dang pack from a vod that happened, like,
1:20:11 four years ago or something like that. like, okay, bring back the battletoads, man! don't immediately walk backwards. okay, you know what? maybe i gotta power up that beast right there. whoops. we made it closer, y'all. whatever, man. just eat me. at this point? no, nah, back to the door. back to the door. no, no, man. you don't wanna see that. fuck it. i'm making a break for it. we out here.
1:21:53 you wouldn't know. yeah, i'll press that. i'm pressing that button any day of the week. the way that what whatever they're doing with the messages here is so crazy. brianna, do you remember me? blocked and reported. but you know, i know. i can smell you. classified orders.
1:22:49 oh, a new control agent has been manufactured on board your vessel. it's marked in the inventory. oh shit. the control agent. what is it? that's need to know, i'm afraid. i've marked it on your map. it's just a measure i was instructed to put in place in an attempt to get an advantage over the life form just to test a trial run for cycles to continue. it's been almost 20 seconds since i've evaded the damn life form, bro. thought this again, huh? we did it, joe.
1:23:53 thanks for your help, cooper. okay, we fucking be a little bit more clandestine, bro. there's life forms around. alright, i guess i'll just sprint. there was a red no power indicator.
1:24:56 just a second ago there was a red no power indicator. did you see that? oh, shit. i'm not going this. let's just move on, man. let me out. well. come on. pump room's this way. all right, lead the way. threats alive. seek alternative air supplies immediately. what's going on, man? oh, you just gotta, you didn't mean, you said come on, but you need me to lead the way. i understand. you're not gonna believe this, cooper.
1:25:43 like i know you play test games, right? presumably. i literally hit it fast enough by the way. i literally don't even do this to me. alright, i'm glad it didn't open to be honest with you. surely at some point somebody said the door puzzles are a little much. you wouldn't lose anything by taking out like half the door puzzles.
1:26:18 you're just gonna squeeze right by you? okay, that one took a lot out of me. tried the sperm jack. oh, sorry. it is ironic they sent a bunch of clones to encounter a life form that can clone them.
1:27:17 there's a certain poetry there, like it rhymes. do you think even for a second you would think this is fun? like it's the base case that it would be terrifying, obviously. but do you think after you were in it for like 10 minutes you'd be able to appreciate that like this is pretty unique?
1:28:03 not too many other human beings are going to get to go through this. like this is a one of one experience. let's help her, obviously. let me just say, by the way, i don't think you could judge someone like just based on the media they like or the decisions they make in a game like this, whether or not they're a bad person. imagine the kind of individual that is like, oh shit, i got to save myself.
1:28:36 they're like, i gotta... oh, there's only one way that we could get out of here, man. red button pressers? let's not do that. you know i'm a blue button presser because i'm in the pr industry. if it came out that i pressed the red button, my life would be over anyway, so i'm further incentivized to press blue. but i don't want to damn all the red button pressers. it's interactive, y'all. it's an interactive video game.
1:29:17 right click space at the same time. reactor overloaded. i'm painting meltdown in 10 minutes. she's very like californian about it. she is pissed. well, i guess you're gonna fucking kill me, huh? and then the fellas. then we gotta handle the fellas.
1:30:16 reactor overloaded. or maybe not. please evacuate to safety. come on, we need to go. that's an understatement. hey, it's me. you gotta let me in. yeah, man. they're right behind me. open the fucking door. you gotta let them in. i'm sorry about what happened before. what i did. but you can't leave me out here.
1:31:10 yeah, man, i'm gonna save you. okay, that's... i thought maybe there'd be some, like, consequence. maybe when he gets on the ship, it's gonna end with him being like, thanks for saving me. let's not go in that way, man. i had to think about where s was on my keyboard.
1:32:10 god, oh god. can you joke when you don't check travado? s. s is the hardest one to press. two minutes. you promise? this is classic until dawn lock in situation. one mistake here and they're toast. but if you get them all, you get a trophy.
1:33:09 if you miss one, you might get eaten. you may indeed get eaten. did they just not expect mitchell to be alive at this point in the game? what happened to my mitchell, bro? fuel level is at 95%. that seems good enough. we need to launch now! target locked. switching to manual control. that'll do it.
1:34:02 at least put your harness on. how heavy could it be? it's air. come on. it's the lightest thing there is. sorry anders. guess i forgot about you. but like, what are you doing? you should have been there! maybe we picked up fake anders?
1:35:19 from the... from the planet? you picked up anders jr. mrs. andersson. who the fuck is anders? yo, anders was peak. the anders and cooper girl boss friendship is really what enabled us to actually get some shit done in this game. we got a lot of power cells together. feels good as fuck when you see the lightning bolt come on and your phone starts charging. oh. i knew i couldn't get rid of you.
1:36:31 what the fuck? i don't give a fuck if she is an alien. she's chill with me. she might even be better. chillest alien we've seen so far at least. you go jack black and do it again.
1:37:58 same shit around the bend it takes a few minutes for the body to adjust to wake up vitals are looking good oxygen saturation 95% everything seems to be in working order. if you don't mind, please look up for me excellent that you do it air supply take it slow. please first few steps can be a doozy. good morning. i
1:38:44 when you wake up from your four year cryo sleep, but you don't have a double double looks like we're on schedule we're right on top of the marker. it's beautiful out there sure is you ever think what you might have been if you weren't a pilot not a chance this has always been it for me. god damn right i could do this forever all right, man does seem like i was okay with the story. it does seem crazy to just keep launching the ships at the planet like i
1:39:53 just seems crazy to me. it's a lot of materials at being used to it there had to be brother has to be a better way. i don't know it's a lot of a lot of filament in the 3d printer this i actually think like the story is completely fine, but the the gameplay is so insane
1:40:42 can you get me through the credits so i can see the stats? mission fucking failed, bro. blooper reel! 92% of people let stafford die 10 minutes into the game.
1:41:17 five rugrats playing ball on seti. until then, i'm sticking with stafford and young. that's my family. right there. and that means more to me than all the planets in the galaxy. noah died on the ship from undiagnosed meningitis. tow seti f, our new home. we don't know exactly what we're going to find there, but we have the technology and the ingenuity to turn that world around. science can't solve all of our problems, but it can give us the questions we need to answer.
1:41:54 i wish you all eight wonderful christmases. he's got a very dramatic energy. i only hope that we can return to deliver you and your families the very best christmas present of all. derek is a very rude person. a new world. but tomorrow, he will learn the true meaning of humility. there's no room for human error. ultimately, if something goes wrong because of the design, that's on me. if we fail, it's because i have failed.
1:42:27 people everywhere have tough times and now more people than ever before are facing something terrible. i want to bring them... 70% of us americans don't even have maps and such as afghanistan and south africa. despite the distance and duration, it will make me feel closer to humanity somehow. the oneness of it all, you know? everything is going to be okay. things can only get better.
1:43:00 dr. pangloss asked dialogue. i've always wanted to fly, the joy of it, the freedom of it, to just take your life in your hands and soar. i think that's in a saw, isn't it? at least that's what my dad taught me. but there's more to it than that. when dad took off for mars, he told me the whole crew looked back at earth and pointed to which countries they came from.
1:43:33 as they traveled further, they pointed to each continent they were from. finally, they just saw one earth. that's always given me hope for us all. yeah, the further away you get from something, like, the smaller it is, i think is what she's trying to say. when faced with oblivion... oh, shit. ...humanity, like all life, must adapt to conquer the unknown. we must weigh who we are and be prepared to lose it all.
1:44:23 cycle 13 was a significant milestone for the program. for the first time, the life form intercepted the cassiopeia outside orbit. huge dub for the aliens on that one. the clone crew survived the crash and managed to broadcast a message. it was a warning. despite everything that happened, they put humanity first. on my orders, williams deployed a neural control compound onto the planet's surface.
1:44:55 but it failed to establish control over the life form. given more cycles, this could become a viable path. williams executed the directive without any of the crew noticing. as for the crew themselves, five souls escaped the planet's surface. they sought refuge in the cassiopeia's booster ring, better to die in space than fall victim to the life form. i watched all that happen mere minutes ago.
1:45:50 oh, awkward. when your commanding officer is getting court martialed in front of you. never forget why you started. yikes. i joined this project because i believed it would secure the future of humanity. the more we learned about the life form, the greater our chances of survival. if it could be sculpted into a tool to save humanity, then i had a duty to actualize this. it's a strange word, isn't it? humanity. on one hand, it's a definition of us as a species,
1:46:24 on the other... kindness, compassion... they're saying it's the only word with multiple meanings. our fight for survival should never come at the cost of our humanity. we can no longer hide behind clones. if we ever hope to master death, we must first stare it in the face. all of us. together. do you think you really want a clone?
1:46:57 could be a great needle drop. do you think you really want a clone? there's gotta be stats, man. or maybe i'm the first motherfucker to beat the game. never considered the fact i'd be the first motherfucker to have finished the game.