They look just like us (Directive 8020)

Name: They look just like us (Directive 8020)
Uploaded: 2026-05-17
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "They look just like us (Directive 8020)" (Directive 8020) — 145 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-17Directive 8020

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145 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:01 he's having a core memory. he's having a canon event. your vitals are stable, but you experienced a minor seizure during the wake up procedure. mr. williams, how are you feeling? i'm okay. what's going on here? what's our share price? what's happened? there's no need to worry, mr. williams. you just need to remain calm and relaxed. once your condition is stabilized, we can give you a full report on what we know. i do feel pretty woozy. that's okay.
0:41 just remain seated, take some deep breaths. it takes a while to settle down, but it will. promise. anders, stay with williams. we need to get this door open. right away, doc. he is cooper now. told you she wouldn't be long. yeah, i just time to clock out, doc. i just talked to him. i just talked to him. he knows i'm here. miss me? what's we're lucky to have you. we're lucky to have you here, you know. you're the second smartest person i know.
1:22 is eisley the alien and then you?
1:54 i thought you didn't have a conscience. okay, wait, wait, we gotta put some pants on. you gotta put some fucking pants on, man. oh shit. erm... yeah, everything's fine. except for the ship crashing part.
2:43 like your underwear. the flight crew was woken by a minor meteorite impact. it penetrated multiple decks and unsurprisingly caused some system failures. there was a conscious uncoupling of the hull from itself? no, we had a series of operational challenges getting into orbit and... you said this would be brief. we had to land on tau ceti f. what? this mission was not configured for a landing. what does that mean? we don't have enough fuel to get home.
3:16 what? that sounds like a bit of an oversight. who made that decision? me. and it wasn't an oversight. we weren't given enough fuel to land and take off again. budget cuts. it's to stop us stealing the andromeda's limelight. did you not even skim read the mission brief? i think we deserve a little more trust. it's not about trust. it's about controlling the parameters of the mission. also, have you guys seen carter? for now, somebody's out here biting the legs and feet.
3:49 our long range transmitter was damaged in the crash and we need to run repairs. until then, we can only receive messages from earth. we can't talk back. wait, it should be, man. is that how carter died? in the crash? then what happened to him? he tried to catch the ship. what do you mean? during our hibernation, it looks like simms suffered a psychotic episode. she killed carter.
4:24 oh now the crash has a gofundme.
4:55 i had your fullest assurance that these two were vetted painstakingly out of thousands of potential. let's go send help. this is not helping. this is not helping. let's wait until we have all the data before jumping to conclusions. you'd better get those answers fast because i'm seriously starting to doubt your competence. not today anders.
5:25 ugh... mr. williams? it's been so long since i was on a podcast. my head hurts like hell. i'm giving you an anti apoleptic. it'll ease the pain and relieve the pressure on your blood system. please tell me simms isn't still out there. i'm afraid she is. we believe she's using the maintenance layers to evade surveillance. sir, i'd like to suggest we conduct a reconnaissance of the ship to locate her. it's not safe to tackle any other issues until this matter is resolved.
5:59 who put you in charge? with respect, mr. williams, you did. i want to speak with stafford now. well, be careful what you wish for, buddy. i'm afraid that won't be possible. bro's giving inspirational speeches to st. peter right now. man, he ain't looking so good. he's looking like anakin skywalker in return of the jedi. stafford, it's game over. he is wearing the balenciaga, though. take your fucking prayers, because we're not getting out of this one. what the fuck are we going to do, man?
6:43 what are we gonna do? will you please shut up? you're not listening! can't you see what's happening here? i said shut up! what the fuck is your problem? you're meant to squeeze it. if we're going to mitigate this mess, if we're going to survive, then i need you to get me a damage assessment. we at least have a competent commander now. as well as can be expected. i would never put us in danger.
7:16 who told them to stand up? janitorial is gonna be fucking pissed off when they crack open this beast. what the fuck did you do to the ship, man?
7:53 feels kinda right that we look after him now. after my dad passed away, staff had always kept this consistency in my life. back then i needed that so much. i never pictured having to do this without him. my dad set the bar pretty low. who's gonna tell us not to worry about anything now? and then some. who's gonna be briefed on all of our fucked up problems and say, we'll deal with it later? he always saw the best in me. he was the fucking greatest. do you read?
8:33 it's probably just hitting the button, man. it's via the transitive property for stafford who wanted us to do it for carter.
9:02 who wanted us to do it for the 2028 2029 vancouver canucks, who finally broke their historic stanley cup drought and won the championship. yes, man.
9:31 okay, let's split up. what if we do this in paris will cover more ground once we've done a sweep we'll converge on their quarters and if we find them you keep safe and you report it over comms cernan you take mr. williams anders you're with me hey take care cooper you too anders just follow your heart god it's been trashed. we need to get to the other side of the wreckage. i
10:13 gameplay. it's too much like tomodachi life, man. i'm like... no, i'm like, i got 12 crew members. i gotta go message every single one of them to introduce myself to them. ain't nothing but a peanut, man.
10:49 rush b, rush b. she might have been sus before the alien got to her to be honest. wrong. worth a try. keep an eye out for a key code, okay?
11:34 where'd you go? what's your four favorite numbers in sequence? oh shit. door fixing simulator. i did it. you think i've gone too far? when i was a kid, a girl in my school went missing. there was this whole search party, pretty much the whole town. i was too young to join. oh yeah, and also, i killed her. weird ass fucking message, bro.
12:23 i told her that she can talk to you but you can't talk back. agrarian appetites. a feast for the gods. corinth acquires nutrimito producers. emito labs. ah! piece of shit. she got ptsd from when she used to work at starbucks. i've never noticed something to go by so quickly and so slowly all at once. i miss you. we miss you.
12:57 luna come say hello to daddy. no, i told her that she can talk to you, but you can't talk back she doesn't like it, but i've been explaining how important your mission is does she know how proud of you we both are we know you've given this company an arm and a leg a lot of hiding places we stick together. we'll be fine. i've got your back i don't really want to power up. we reuse the power cell from earlier. maybe how you holding up? oh
13:33 i'm stuck on an alien planet with a bunch of people i barely know. if i hadn't taken that transfer, i'd be safe at home right now. weird thing for an astronaut to say, to be honest. they're stuck with you, anders. think how they must feel. hey, i'm delightful. once you break through the quirks, which takes time, patience... yeah, i guess you can be. i can feel that sunny disposition running out pretty soon, though. then you'll be in trouble.
14:06 company made a big mistake sending me here. oh shit. fuck the company. they're not here, we are. we rule, they drool. wow. your maturity knows no bounds. yeah, again with this. we're gonna girl boss our way out of this. what the? lore? more lore? here mr. williams, i'm writing to formally recommend zoe andrews as our new science officer. lose it? why is it written on a damn napkin?
14:54 losing mcnamara was a huge i'm sorry, i don't trust your letter of recommendation. you have the penmanship of an eighth grader. this is not how serious adults write. this is how you write in the eighth grade when your name is jessica and you're the valedictorian. let me see this. odd. we need to bring back ruling and drooling. i think as guys we kind of ruined it for everybody. used to say boys rule, girls drool. can't get away with that anymore.
15:46 we're being problematic as fuck in the fourth grade, man. not quite what you expected to win. my bad, y'all. right click with zoom once and then never again. you alright? this is acting commander eisley of the cassiopeia.
16:18 it is with great regret that i must report the death of commander nolan stafford. he died protecting his crew. in a manner of speaking. it is also my responsibility to state that i allowed the backup landing computer to be disabled. take the shot. i will offer my full support to any inquest upon our return to earth. it wasn't her fault. oh shit. don't worry. she can't get out. okay.
17:11 search for sims, power the door. power the door, search for sims doing a lot of heavy lifting in the objective department in this game. excuse me, i'm gonna reuse the power cell from the previous door. like a boss. sanitize hands. when you see the dude come out of the spaceship bathroom, his hands aren't even wet. strange. given her rapid recovery and exemplary medical reputation, i believe she's still the top candidate for the cetus mission.
18:19 they're calling it the worst nl chat of all time. chat's been pretty funny. you wanna see worst chat in nl history, you gotta go back to last wednesday when we played gambananza. that was a rough one to be honest with you. even the mods are laughing. let me out bro.
18:49 we are here doing the most we're doing those let's plays out on the back roads i know i'm trying not to think about it. thanks for bringing it up, by the way. oh you know what? hey
19:18 we gotta, i know exactly what we gotta do, man. power up this door. open the shutter. okay, grab the power cell from the door. my thoughts exactly. grab the power cell from the door. let's get out of here. go back through this way. i do, i feel like we want the shutter to get open though, cuz it's probably gonna give us a tool that we can use to fight off the alien. but i couldn't find the password, man.
20:07 and honestly, life's just too short for that kind of shit. maybe it's through here, i don't know. catch me on the court and i'm trouble. last week, fricked around and got a triple double. basketball court in space would be kind of sick. you know in zero g they'd be hitting those kind of plays they hit in the sixth man. anton! let it go! you remember the sixth man?
21:01 the angels in the outfield for high school basketball. weirdly, yes. rented her from jumbo video for some reason when i was like nine. no, i'm just gonna be honest, i'm kind of sick of her. she's taken up way too much mental real estate in the game so far. i don't really give a fuck about sim's diary anymore. wait, that means i can't go back anymore. let's go back? you gotta go out here first.
21:54 just got back. what did i miss? i mean, honestly, i'm not even just saying this to be a... an asshole. i think the answer is like maybe not much. now thomas. thomas i can get into. this is thomas carter. 48 hours from flight crew, wake up. something's wrong with sims. i don't know. she attacked me. oh god, she's trying to kill me.
22:38 no. this company has a strict policy against murder. here's a link to my calendar. pick a time where it would be convenient to discuss this matter. alright, but before we do that, let me...
23:15 let me explore. i can't see this kind of aluminum foil without getting hungry for a baked potato, i'm sorry. just call me mac from house 1977. if i ever go missing, just check the nearest potato field, man. relax, i'll handle it. call me kung fu? i mean, if you can pass the aura check, you can be kung fu. don't talk to me about sweet, though. i'm not getting killed by a damn pillow.
24:00 it has the vibe of like when you're trying to round up your cat to take him to the vet. shouldn't be this hard for four highly accomplished professionals to track down one alien that doesn't even know like how would they even have a concept of how to navigate a ship like this, man? i'm not sticking my fingers in that. oh sh when you accidentally leave a sandwich in your locker over christmas break. what the fuck?
25:17 yes.
25:27 open it back up at the very least we need to grab a sample. i saw enough. it's definitely organic possibly hazardous maybe even infectious oh a pp section for paragraph 13 you're down with opp extraterrestrial substance that's not your decision to make this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and this is my ship and i'm a science officer on this ship we can't risk it spreading we need to lock this area down and take the time to set up proper safety time just grab a mask and get in there and
25:58 i'm gonna say no. i'm gonna say we can't risk contamination. that seems... that seems insane. your choices matter.
26:28 i'm the one who pays the checks, i'm the one who breaks the tie. we're taking a sample. i'll take it. what? i'm fine anders. hand it over. i got this. yeah yeah yeah. and then she's gonna hit the ceo with the glue gun. wet squelching huh? nah man, nah i don't think so. yeah that's like a, that's a heart man. obviously some kind of channel for carrying something.
27:40 you're gonna just pop this shit in the microwave, see what happens? w gameplay? yeah, w gameplay. hold w. you should just let her go alone. that's true, that's a good point. no, i left my phone in there! nooooo! among them?
28:38 or our ends. a sample. he was scared? i feel bad for him. the sam! he sam! not even halfway through? well like, again, not to be not to sour the experience, but nothing has happened. like for a...
29:30 a game that started with an alien encounter and a spaceship crashing on an alien planet. we're just walking through hallways, man. at least we're not running on empty. yet. oxygen levels dropping. oxygen recovery and stabilization required. great. i'll add that to my list along with getting to the scanner and trying not to die. well you asked.
30:04 i'm the robot, but you asked, i don't actually need the oxygen. you need the oxygen. i think he's just meditating. you know how ceos is and all that. nevermind. botox. interesting.
31:02 surely she's talking about this door.
31:54 i have gotten into the vent. i feel so much like mr. anderson getting guided by morpheus through my office right now. what?
33:05 the alien gets distracted. the other part about being an alien is it completely takes away your situational awareness. we know man. the stealth gameplay of all time. hurry, seal the door.
34:06 yes! fist bump count for... ...present time.
34:33 it's interesting to me what happens if you fuck up a qte in the present time with characters that you've already kept alive in the future. i wonder if it means that we're completely safe or they would just not deal with it or they would be like that person turned into an alien. so they were actually an imposter when you were controlling them from back then. we remember their service
35:04 with a pizza party from 12 to 1215 in the break room. of course, we remember their service and their friendship. may they rest in peace. stafford and carter. rest their souls. we have crash landed in the bernal quadrant of tau cetieth. damage is significant. worsened by the mountain we clipped on the way down. yeah, my bad. i'm assuming we're grounded.
35:35 correct. you assume correctly. even if we had enough fuel, there's no way we're getting back in the air. our only option now is to hold out until the andromeda arrives. how much air do we have? life support can keep us breathing, but the crash has damaged our ftl antenna. we have no way to contact the andromeda or earth. can we repair it? yes, but it'll take time. a lady is speaking. the ship is in a bad state. security alert. go ahead and say it. you can say ohio.
36:09 you could say ohio anytime someone says we're in a bad state. so are we gonna talk about the growth? i want to do more than talk about it. i want to rinse that sample for everything it could. yes. he said let's inject this shit. let's fucking... as far as i'm concerned, this is an entirely... who's lowest on the totem pole? let's fucking inject them. given the extent it's grown, it must have come on board with that meteorite. let's smoke this shit. i mean, it's obvious, right?
36:37 meteorite hits, growth appears, sims goes mad. doesn't take a genius to connect the dots. correlation is not causation. i've taken stats 101. correlation does not equal causation. we've got a gun on this ship, right? if she's out there whacking people, we should arm ourselves. oh shit. i agree though. you're right. if she's out there whacking people. this is the only weapon on this ship issued discovered for exactly this eventuality.
37:17 for exactly this eventuality? she turned off her damn body cams. okay, jigsaw.
37:47 if we well shut the breach seals here, here and here, we can be sure they're locked into this sector. then it's just a case of sweeping the tunnels and locking down the bulkhead sequentially. that sounds like something you could do off screen and not have me manually do i'm praying. there's a secondary access tunnel. we can use it to get into the reactor funnel without being detected. so we need to close the seals on all those maintenance tunnels. that holder?
38:18 yes. take these shields off and say it again. not only slow her down, it will also flag her on the system. one of us needs to get in there to track and detain her. why is he standing like that, man? did you see his posture? i don't know how to rewind to just see that, but he was not looking right, man. i'll do it. okay.
38:51 dr. cooper can go with you. what thought only very well find sims repair the antenna reestablish contact with the andromeda. it was staying a different man. i'll make it home, too how shall i proceed with the substance find out what it is and where it came from? yes, so how could i how on earth am i supposed to do that? you have 30 minutes to diagnose the source of this alien life. we can salvage the mission we just need to trust each other
39:26 just like stafford trusted us. you ain't stafford. you have our full support, commander. you have our full support, commander. we should get prepped. dismissed. one of us gotta go in there, huh? into the goo tunnel with the fingers. look at him, he's trying to text. you see, he's jonesing for his phone. okay, i set up the private channel. go ahead and switch frequencies. switching now. you hear me?
40:31 i'm right next to you. just so okay. all right. i understand you're doing all right just feels much harder without stafford. i know he's walking like the arthur meme nicely we've reached subsection d5 that's like three bites into the footlong should be able to override the shooters. okay, you should be able to override the shutters should be able to override there you go
41:16 i have no idea what i did. one might say that i was at home, at home on the range where the deers and the antelope play. i make the matrix references around here, okay?
41:58 cooper will seal the bulkheads behind you as you move. whoever's down there will be forced into a dead end. oh, damn it. not the doohickey. i see. red junction 13. okay. you all good down there? yep. oh my god. what are we gonna do when we find her? that depends. on what? if she cooperates. you guys seen carter's body? last shot, sir.
42:40 it's so crazy man. it's so crazy. what the tuna? you say it best when you say nothing at all. i like who asked though.
43:51 lowering audio because i hate jump scares. it's just gonna be a cat or something. we're gonna, it's gonna run across the screen. you're gonna be like, oh my god! and it's gonna go, meow! and then it's gonna be like, yeah exactly, jonesy. but then when you pick up the cat, you're gonna see like an alien femur just for like two frames slip behind the door. and then like a brazilian dad is gonna go, vamanos children! and you're gonna be, you're gonna be thinking about it for like 20 years.
44:23 when did science come out? august 2002. you're going to be thinking about over 24 years. i found sims. stop resisting! how can you be sure? i'm not sure she was ever alive.
45:07 put her in her pod. okay. we used to crawl through alien goo for pleasure back in the marines. hoorah! i could really use a fist bump right now.
46:01 what the fuck? she fucking ate me. i'm going as fast as i can, okay? any minute, any minute now. any minute now. i don't even know what we were doing to be honest. i was just left clicking on shit down there.
46:52 isley, can you see us on camera? i can see movement in there. haley joel osman, that. young! little help? young, you all right? i'm coming down. all right, take your time. fuck. when you leave your leftovers in the fridge for four days instead of three.
47:55 the yogurt two days after you open the container? young, you there? if you can hear me, you need to extend the bridge. i'll look for another way around. oh, okay. guess i'll be extending the bridge, even though it's 36 meters away from me. ain't got no power, bro. i can already tell it ain't got no power.
49:08 hey, do something. oh shit, not that though. i will be going this way. i will be moving behind the alien today. who will then be moving over here? and then i will be moving this way. just indicated to the game logic i've made it through the puzzle and have demonstrated enough competency to get to the next section.
50:22 oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. motherfucker, man. huge loss of progress. i'm backing up, backing up, backing up, backing up. cause my daddy taught me good. why does the alien wear a hood? i think it's so you know that you're not the alien.
51:09 because you might think like damn maybe i became the alien at some point but then you just oh wait i don't have a hoodie on i got nothing to worry about. wait we've got one of these too? i was so scared of the damn alien then what the fuck? they are a little bit blind. honestly it's a huge debuff to be an alien they were way more competent as a human being.
52:24 power the bridge control, y'all. you go in through that door. i'll pop out through this one. and then we're out. oh, and we're... i mean, the frames are taking a little hit, but that's to be expected in an environment with a lot of moving parts like this. i'm still being chased by the same girl. yeah, that's sims, man.
53:06 simms still got some problems. she's a very formidable opponent. oh shit. also she teleports. she's looking like jake paul in that last fight. i didn't see. i was looking for approval from chad. i forgot there's gameplay in this game. locking in? obviously that's not gonna kill me. i'm not a door, bro. i'm not a door.
53:50 you gotta take the shot. we did it, y'all. their ass went straight into the cycler. mmm, holy freaking shirt balls. the aliens are taking over the reactor.
54:45 but when you're stripped down to your bones, can you bear to see what you're really made of? what? that was dragonair y'all, episode 4. that was it? some stuff happened, we crawled through some vents and welded some shit shut that then they were like, it can't escape, and then it escaped. and then we shot them in the shoulder, didn't see the body, and it went over the edge. so we know that they're dead and we're probably safe now. warning, intruder identified.
55:40 i mean, if the alien could jog. i went the wrong way, y'all. if the alien had cardio, we'd be in a lot of trouble. i don't want to go off on a rant, not the dennis miller post. the reason that this kind of impersonation stuff works in like the thing is because the alien pretends to be
56:35 like a crew member, it doesn't just go around like threatening to kill people. like all the marketing that i was looking at, it was like, you might not know that a crew member has been replaced with an alien throughout the game. well, i think you fucking know bro, as they start chasing you down and trying to fucking kill you. they don't talk like us, man.
57:02 unless they do a thing later where they're like, and also some of the people you were talking to were also imposters. these were just the first imposters just weren't very good at it, but they rapidly adapted to our new environment or some shit like that. or maybe they're the humans and i'm the alien. so they're like, we're trying to kill you cuz you're an alien. and i'm like, stop trying to kill me. you're the alien. you know what i'm talking about?
57:43 john freeman headcrab zombie type shit. wasn't sigourney the alien? in the fourth one, kinda. it's hard to... it's like an analogy for motherhood, kind of, but also like, it's an analogy for alien. activate switches 0 of 3. nothing gets a gamer excited, like seeing activate switches 0 of 3. there's the fella.
58:41 obviously i won't just be walking into his cone of vision instead of waiting two seconds for him to walk away and then activating the switch with... that is move the mouse up for those of you who are curious. lock the damn door, man! what the fuck? he could have just fucking killed me, bro! he could have killed my ass dad! he's lying, you're right!
59:33 it's the worst part about the aliens is the hypocrisy. ah, you can't be doing all that. that's a distraction. okay, i understand. oh shit, he can run? whoa! distract him, bro! got him. surprise, buddy. surprise. oh, what the fuck?
1:00:50 he's showing me the pack. so we literally run this town by the way. fuck it, i'm doing it. this person can't die. oh yeah, well get the fuck out of there. apparently you have to evade them. this is the only competent crew member. damn, he's fucking zooming though. close the door! close the door!
1:01:51 motherfucker. open the door! here he comes. well, obviously we're not going to be closing the door. maybe we'll open that door. and then we'll catch him on the next loop. then we'll go down and we'll catch him off this one. okay. he's still on us. guess what, buddy? best of luck to you, motherfucker.
1:02:55 i think we got time. we obviously do not have time. we clearly do not have time. no! i hit the wrong button. i got killed, y'all. yeah, i hit s instead of d. hit s instead of d on that one. don't trust her, bro. do not fucking trust her.
1:03:51 it's the meteorite, lodged in the reactor. are you sure whoever attacked you is dead? positive. they fell into the reactor array. this was sims, right? i told you, there's someone else down there. how many fucking murderers can there be on one ship?
1:04:12 there could have been a blind spot in the ship's design that allowed stowaway to get in and hide. come on now, man. as you know, i couldn't get the security arrangements i wanted for pre launch. so you're saying that the oceans of money i threw at you still weren't enough to solve your security problems? i'd have thought that money aside, the crew would notice an extra person on board.
1:04:39 sir, we were all asleep for four years. sir, it's dealt with. whoever it was, they're dead. that meteorite is organic. a living substance. source? it must have spread through the vents to carter and sim's quarters. a living substance. fascinating. so how much do we know about the substance? well, as i mentioned, it's organic. and it's extraterrestrial. rapidly replicating. alright, there's no need to repeat yourself. almost certainly toxic.
1:05:13 that being said, we did all breathe in about 15 lungfuls of it earlier.
1:05:33 for all we know, he could wipe out the entire human race with a single enough. earth can provide the directives. it's my company, my directives. sorry to interject, but we're still cut off from earth. now that simms is dealt with, i should think about carrying out repairs to the transmitter. go ahead. mitchell, continue the damage assessment from up here. anders, you need to analyze that sample. i'll help.
1:06:02 let's get that transmitter up and running. she really likes to help anders, have you noticed this? relax, i'll handle it. three hours later... the transmitter isn't responding at all. i need to reroute the power and repair the array using our drones. can i get an eta on that? should be done in just under an hour. then it's down to engineering. i left power rerouted in three to four hours. mr. williams and young are helping out too.
1:06:39 no rest for the wicked. what do you want him to do, bro? he's maximizing shareholder value. sounds like early gen ai voice acting. i'm pretty sure he's just from like belgium or something, man. oh shit. anders. well, mr. williams. you still want a little pet to take home? wait, wait. the alien is hooping, man. in circumstances like these, everything should be on the table.
1:07:24 the real guys here and the aliens learning how to play basketball. yeah, no kidding. i wonder why man.
1:07:54 it's highly efficient, appearing to absorb matter in its immediate proximity and duplicate it. you think the petri dish is gonna hold it? it's copying whatever it touches. to what end? i don't know, but it's growing. left unchecked, it could overwhelm the whole ship in a matter of days. oh cool. love that for us. cooper, give me a hand when you have a minute. sure thing. as soon as the ladies are out of the room, you know that dude's huffing the alien goo.
1:08:28 dude is putting out a fat fucking line. mmmmmm. yes, ma'am. grab some drugs from the chem cabinet?
1:09:07 i have to synthesize my own diazepam. seems a little... seems like a lot of rigamarole. well, let me take a peek here for a second. nh3 has some kind of like ammonia or something. what do we got here? hydrogen, oh there you go, ammonia.
1:09:42 give me some of this. the fuck is going on, man? and then we got... oh, i have no idea what that shit is. i guess...
1:10:03 i mean, let me go check this because here's the thing. i see that it has sulfuric acid. i'm feeling like if you synthesize this improperly and then you inject this dude with sulfuric acid, he's basically just gonna melt. which could be funny, but i also feel like we should at least make an honest effort. okay? so we really need some dimethyl sulfate.
1:10:32 and you need the, you do not need sulfuric acid. you need some dimethyl sulfate. i gotta take a closer look to see if we need chloroacetyl chloride. it's a cl dash dash double bond o2 cl. yeah.
1:11:04 we got it y'all. we got it. sorry. i have a bachelor's degree in biology. i got like a 53% in orgo in second year. so yeah, no one's gonna be melting into a pile of goo on my watch. okay? i'd like to grab some ammonia, please. i don't know why you're asking me. enter the three numbers of the... oh, of the three numbers of the chemicals. okay. so we're gonna start with the
1:11:44 chloroacetyl whatever and then ammonia and then the third one that i can't even remember anymore. dimethyl sulfate, okay. we want to start with number one, enter, number six and then cancel that for now. number one, number six and then number eight. number one, number six and number eight. one, six, seven! wait, as a joke maybe? nah, one, six, eight. you're good to go, lad.
1:12:28 and can i get mine extra hot? no room? how you feeling buddy? you lost a lot of blood. violent temperament.
1:13:15 apologies, i was momentarily confused. i guess memory loss explains that. just take it easy and report in if you have any concerns. i still think he's the human and the alien is down there learning how to hoop. and he's at the end credits scene is gonna be like
1:13:38 the ship has crash landed back on earth and like he gets out and it's like, oh shit, where did he fucking crash? boom. madison square garden. and it's like madison square garden, the oldest arena in north america, is there looming in the horizon and then it's like a shot from his back and he walks into the front doors. and as soon as he walks in, you hear like the crowd noise. yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
1:14:14 greatness to glory yeah, then he looks back and he goes i got it. you got it. all right coop follow me. yeah, we got our own diazepam on tap here we got a coffee porter. we got a double ipa a triple ipa we got an ipa made with a combination of mosaic and citra hops. we got the as a pam on tap like commercial exploitation
1:14:49 we have a non alcoholic gin and tonic. yeah, of course he's our boss.
1:15:17 if this is an experiment, he'd want to bring the results back to earth, right? which would require a functioning ship. i'm not talking about the crash. please clue me into what you're talking about. he's not stupid. if anyone can see the dollar signs in this, it's williams. he's up to something, cooper. i know it. our boss... look, i'm new to this crew, but williams trusts you. i don't buy it. if he knows anything, if he's putting our lives at risk, we need to do something about it.
1:15:45 what do you know that i don't? i may have kind of accidentally on purpose. come on now. kind of sneaky peek into his drop drive. that's impossible. his drive is security locked. oh, 13674. oh, you didn't. wouldn't be much of a science officer if i didn't know a few cheeky little command overrides. you sly old fox. anders, you sly old fox. never change. why would i?
1:16:18 i'm already perfect. that's what i love about it. it's so macgruver code. williams has his own file stack inside the oracle. he's stupid. he's heavily encrypted. he's been updating it since he woke up. talking to her through a line that's hidden from everyone, including stafford and eisley. i mean, he's the boss. he can do whatever he wants. he can turn into a jet. he can fly into the sun. he's completely against protocol. only command can access the oracle like that.
1:16:50 he's hiding something. i know it. and he's putting us all in danger. don't tell isley, bro. she's sus. okay then. what do you propose we do? i need to have a deeper look at that drive. but it'll take time. i can't have william sauntering into his office when i'm up to my nuts in his dirty laundry. oh no. no. i don't like where this is heading. remember that time in fort wayne? when those frat boy knucklewalkers wouldn't take the hint? that was a lifetime ago.
1:17:24 and that was a couple of laxatives and a keg. this is a whole different ballgame. come on, coop. we're not those people anymore. exactly. you're a whole ass doctor now. just hit him with something to send him to sleep for a few hours. he was just sleeping for four years! just say it was a side effect of the shot we gave him earlier. fuck it. okay, i'll do it. i'll send him to sleep. to shut you up if nothing else? cooper, i fucking love you.
1:17:57 unfortunately, i love you too. it seemed like the most authentic line of dialogue for an australian character ever. koopa, i fucking love you, mate. my stepdad jeff grew up in fort wayne. this is for jeff. my name is jeff. his name is jeff when your stepdad's name is jeff. his name is jeff. regroup with anders seven feet away from where you just had that conversation. are we good to go?
1:18:31 yes, take a look at our little bundle of joy here i'm gonna run a small charge through one of the samples watch the other one damn you're gonna make it mad it reacts to the charge wherever i place it one sample affects the other at exactly the same time you're hurting him it seems to stun it briefly, but it won't kill it so the cells are entangled somehow yes, this proves the whole thing is connected and
1:19:10 the stuff we breathe?
1:19:45 the correct parlance is do you read? he's walking like so menacingly. he's always every time you get a look from this guy it's... don't make me do it. don't make me do it. very well.
1:20:17 prepare the compound for planetary launch. of course, mr. williams. anders, i was hoping for some privacy. sorry, mr. williams. i just thought, well, you wouldn't be the boss unless you had someone to bring you coffee, right? i could do with a pick me up. where's yours? oh, i already had some. sleepytime tea. special blend. made it myself.
1:21:05 decaf. yeah, when he that exact when he wakes up we should be like, what was in that coffee? oh yeah, it was decaf. is the nyquilate.
1:21:36 okay, you little freak. let's see how you like this. take it slow. she's sick. if we blow the line, we could trigger an explosion. yeah, thanks for that, isley. i think it's working. the growth is decaying. coming up to 12%. shall i push it higher? hey! who's there? shit. anders, i'm getting an alarm reading here. anders!
1:22:32 anders, answer me! there must be some toros in the atmosphere! she's saying that i'm beaten at least. anders, what happened? i'm locked in here! the spectrometer's ruptured it! it's leaking liquid oxygen! get me out! it's fucking burning in here! get me out or i'm gonna fucking break! young, the fuel line is called fire in the junction room. mitchell is trapped.
1:23:08 backdraft williams! williams, you gotta get out of there! he's walking like a metal gear solid 5 enemy. man, must be an alien, his hair is glitching out.
1:24:02 i'm gonna save anders because i feel like he should just be able to get out of there. also, we've had them say like four lines in the entire game so far it just walk out through the door man it's williams he's still down there
1:24:45 williams, what are you doing? get out of there, man! are they stupid? they know what's happening, man. they're like, whoa, it's williams. williams is standing in the flames and not talking. what the fuck's that? williams, get out of there, man. someone's got to go rescue williams. you're fucking on fire, man.
1:25:18 williams you're burning to death bro williams you're the human torch oh shit maybe what's the real him? oh shit oh right the sprinklers one second here we nailed those are you okay?
1:26:10 a minnesotan rescues a californian from 55 degrees fahrenheit weather. good for him, man. good for him.
1:26:59 he made no effort to survive? he was running back and forth on that platform for a minute. yeti, that's pretty true. crazy there's so much taco sperm count when you only need one. when you're saying there's a chance.
1:27:24 lloyd christmas coded. i didn't see that message. yeah, yeti's in the private chat with just the mods and i. yeah, they're typing. i can see them type. well, i can't see them typing. i can see them when they send a message.
1:27:53 he's kinda on that in school suspension stuff. oh shit, sorry, i gave him cialis. wait, no, he's chillin', he's just playing basketball.
1:28:24 it seems to be quarantined. at least i hope it is. i'm headed over to bridgops. are you there? you must be tired. can't sleep when there's work to do. same. nice to know i'm not. she's already dead. i killed her. hello? is anyone here? where is everyone? oh shit, surprise party maybe? could be like a birthday party type situation. they remembered!
1:29:27 you know, when you're halfway through the thing and then one of the people in mcmurdo station goes, and it's my birthday. worst birthday ever, guys, am i right? everyone else got happy birthday. happy birthday, mccready. happy birthday, childs. happy birthday, the thing. happy birthday, whoever, whatever wilford brimley's name is. oh shit. what the fuck?
1:30:23 let me in bro. what's happening? what have you done to me? it was decaf. mr. williams, how did you get here? what are you talking about? what's the last thing you remember? i... i don't know. we saw you die. is this real? of course it's real. i'm right in front of you. how long has he been here?
1:31:23 anders, will someone please tell me what's going on? i want you to run every biometric on williams that you can. what the hell? why can't any of you give me a straight answer? nah, he's legit. what the fuck is happening? ugh, jesus christ. he's horny. are we comfortable with him being able to move around freely? whoa, what the fuck? we can't take any chances with him. detain him in the secure storage area. in geoscience. you can't just lock me away!
1:32:08 need to come with us williams and come with them. he did just stay here while we run some tests. what exactly do you expect your? very badly burned he is charred up
1:32:34 no! my fucking crops! my grow up!
1:33:07 what is it? they require strict temperature and humidity controls to achieve maximum thc concentration. oh my god. the aliens are gonna smoke all my weed, bro. oh shit! they've cut the monitoring systems. i kinda don't understand why the aliens are such assholes either.
1:33:42 like, i'd almost, again, not to pause and extend the game longer than is strictly necessary. at some point, i would love a conversation that's like, and also why are they killing us? like if they were, if, because like set the groundwork for like if the alien goo takes over the engine then maybe they can fly back to earth and infect the whole planet or something like that. but to just be like
1:34:08 like they just take it as self evident that like of course the aliens are stalking us like serial killers and trying to murder us. like i don't understand man. what's going on? get me out of here now! be honest. learn to sit back and observe. not everything needs a reaction. with all of us awake and the co2 score is not working, we might not make it till the end of the day. shit. so let's get them working again. every minute counts. i'll do it. i'll join her.
1:34:45 i'll need someone to back me up. i'm gonna suggest you take cernan because at some point take cernan. you become an alien. if any of the systems are down, he's our best shot at fixing them. i'm on it. wait. you'll be more used with this than i am. cernan? it's me and you, babe. are you sure you're up to it? yes. in the marines we used to i need to do this. we used to fix the ftl antenna for fun. taking risks is part of the job.
1:35:29 it's simple math until you have to live with the consequences and there are some consequences that no amount of calculation can reconcile. william. r. william. it says mr. williams just so you know. what did she mean by this? she's being really poetic. astronaut beware you're in for a scare. do do do do do. do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
1:36:20 despite the weather, we are already back on target for launch friday. and i cannot stress how much the crew is excited for this to be happening. after all these years of preparation, we are in a place that is... look, i know there's a lot to consider. but it won't be the same mission without you. there's a lot about this mission that doesn't seem the same. what would carter do? carter will be there. you love carter. but we need you.
1:36:55 you love carter. he's so good at soccer. well spoken. you can start by looking after the check.
1:37:39 all i'm asking is that you let me do that now. you want to choose for yourself, i get that. if this situation were any different, any less urgent. kid, i never asked you to make a call i didn't think was the right one. if it's not too much to ask, will you go four million light years away from earth? trust me. being a leader is about knowing when to trust and when to make that call. it's about knowing when to keep your seatbelt on, when to take it on. one day young, you're going to see that for yourself.
1:38:24 so two forks? i was in the sound booth trying not to wake up mom and dad. oh. you might find yourself young in a beautiful house. when the substitute comes back from their bathroom break? nah, man, i don't really want to go in there. progress can be. yeah, i don't really care about all that to be honest with you. i was kind of trying to find a pa oh, no. motherfucker, man.
1:39:35 when you see the fucked up door puzzles and then also you can travel through the oh, i can't travel through the window. never mind. maybe we'll be spared. does the ship not have like normal doors? we like to use the vents sometimes. we do things a little differently here. in these parts we do things a little differently. same room, bro. why don't you just tell us where the power cell is? re it like, sincerely like a...
1:40:22 a story about a ship that just could not get the doors figured out. just came back, what did i miss? you're not gonna believe this. are you sitting down? we need to find a power cell to get into this door. and now we came back and he's like, i was looking too, i was looking over here. okay, man. oxygen saturation levels compromised. oxygen must remain above 70% to avoid adverse reactions and fatalities.
1:40:55 yeah, i'm aware. we need that ship for like the last couple of steps of like atp synthesis or whatever. wide swings, bro. german guy's a little sus. he reminds me of the android from prometheus. yeah, but which one? are you talking about david or are you talking about the other one? because the other one was legit, right? the other one, which the one that was blowing was legit. the one that was doing the fingering was a little sus.