This one goes out to the noodler (007 First Light)

Name: This one goes out to the noodler (007 First Light)
Uploaded: 2026-06-12
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "This one goes out to the noodler (007 First Light)" (007 First Light) — 99 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-06-12007 First Light

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0:01 imagine this but instead of chess it's marvel vs. capcom 2? honestly, people be better dressed at the fighting game event for sure. i don't see a single graphic tee. watch forgetting sarah marshall w the whole fam right with your judd apatow take and forgetting sarah marshall is really good! but that's not even the best apatow. wait, it's 205 is also past this fella. you're supposed to investigate, yes. and then i just walk right by, man.
0:59 just go right in. that's simple. no, i'm not talking about superbad. i'm talking about his 2021 film, the bubble. sweet 205 in five minutes. husband is watching the game. contessa dh. wait! well, hello. ah! what are you doing in my room? pardon me, mom. didn't think anyone was in. i'm with management. one of our guests lost his pet anaconda. we're going floor by floor. he lost it in my trousers. well, it's all down here. i'll take your word for it. go on then.
1:37 shut the door on your way out. right. or first i'm just gonna take your hand sanitizer and turn on your fucking radio and hide in your closet, steal your cell phone battery. i kind of do want to hit her with some poop juice in the bathtub. fuck up her damn mini bar, eat one of those like $14 chocolate bars. that was unusual. never seen a naked woman before, bond. shit on deborah's desk, turn into a jet.
2:30 bomb the russians! now i'm dead. now what happened here? monroe? aye, detective. i'm in 206. it's a mess. stay on the line. i'll have a look around. this should be good. bratislava weekly. today's copy of the bratislava... beefly. mysterious death of a climate scientist in orlando, florida. looks like it says compliments of the lgbtqia+. wait a minute. has my james bond gone woke?
3:03 minus the key card could mean anything me don't jump to conclusions the woke agenda they killed the climate scientist because he was a woke enough. i knew this game was good. fuck it. i'll kick it down imagine if she was here to found a wall suit size xl this guy changed his disguise again, or he changed his outfit small word big difference monroe this isn't some party that got out of hand. these are signs of a struggle. i
3:52 and someone put up one hell of a fight. if that's the case, where's the body? good question. perfect timing. we open this in the bo yeah, yeah, i knew it! you didn't have to say it! i knew it! oh, never mind. i thought for sure the body was gonna fall out. i found the chief of security's wallet. it's full of cash. doesn't look like a robbery. he might have dropped it. in the fireplace? monroe, this is serious. the blonde man did something to the chief of security. i'm sure of it. he's talking like bob dylan lyrics. so why?
4:26 and how is this connected to 009? not a clue. yet. call you back. housekeeping. jet lag. gets me every time. i mean, do you trash the room like a damn rockstar, man? a chef. how's he managed to change clothes so fast? anyone else feel that? sing, talk to me. i'm picking up some chatter. all right, i'm picking up some chatter. there doesn't appear to be any permanent damage. nothing to indicate foul play. copy that, sing.
5:13 yeah, yeah, yeah. that's what i'm doing. i'm back on the blonde man's trail.
5:46 of course. don't tell me you got the little binoculars on a stick. oh, she freaking does, man. this can't be a chess.com production though. where's levy? i know their backs are gonna be sore as fuck, man. i know it fucking stinks in there! jeeesh p.u.! using my q watch to detonate the...the lithium battery and the anal beads.
6:32 oh my stomach, my stomach hurts really bad. all of a sudden my stomach hurts so bad. bro you can't be standing next to that, there's arc lightning coming off of that thing.
6:54 they should do that clip with the merovingian from the matrix 2, but instead of the pie that makes that lady have an orgasm, it gives the lady like a really sore stomach. so you follow like the ones and zeros, like goes like upper spine, like into her brain, and then it's... and then she goes, oh, did you guys have this cake?
7:20 oh no, my stomach. that's him. now what's in those creams? the power of the matrix is incalculable once you learn it. it's just ones and zeros, morpheus. you and me are fat. also...
7:42 we've recreated the ground pork from the hello fresh that gave enel some vanilla and campylobacter. most you're morpheus. and what am i doing here again? i go here, follow the diamond. it must have gone down this way. i was on a shift at the delivery gate and suddenly bam, cold sweat stomach.
8:16 and then we hit him with another one so he knows that it could happen to everybody. bro gets around man.
8:39 the blonde man smuggled something in on a truck while the security scanners were down. something heavy. oh, this is bad. i'll inform cressida. don't let this guy out of his sight. you fooled him to me, you piece of god! i quit. i swear on my life. oh no, his cortisol spiked, man. no, no, no, no, no. you ain't gonna quit. you ain't going nowhere. you know how i know?
9:17 fuck your hors d'oeuvres, man. fuck your michelin star bullshit. fuck your appetizers. put my damn shoes on your michelin stars. how do you feel? do a fucking parkour on it? fucking hitting the three point turn on your shit. you're not gonna do fucking anything about it, man. what are you gonna do about it? that's what i thought. fucking nothing. break your fucking flatware. see if i give a fuck, man. actually looks pretty good. i'll leave that one.
9:50 he is doing cracked out uncle.
10:25 well that was close. i think she likes us. clear comms.
10:58 me flanking lower tons while my teammate shouts. it's b, it's b, they're all apartments. me and my headphones 120 decibels, nine inch nails, industrial mix. get his ass. blogged?
11:33 my whole existence is bond. you bring me closer to bond. what a song though. i don't wanna fucking be here, are you crazy? this sucks here. this is amazing. don't think i've tried it before. is it your own concoction? i can't take good at it, i'm afraid. excuse me, y'all. pardon me, excuse me. it's not like you can fucking see anyway. you can't see!
12:05 you can't fucking see, man! you're gonna be here... oh, let me just take a look at this. move 9. gretchen wong. classical rating 2609. it's alright, i suppose. she's on 1.0. niviks on 1. he's at 2830. she's 2609, he's 2835. gretchen, fucking resign. he's gonna destroy you. you don't stand a chance. there's a 300 point elo difference.
12:43 that's insane. problematic elo gap. who's got advantage? i don't know, they're on like move nine. they should still be in book here. honestly, i don't know, man. i like white's position. what are we doing with those a pawns, man? i don't know, maybe that's book. i have no idea. but like most games of chess at a high enough level, it's probably just gonna be a draw anyway. impossible. a secret passage, of course. a set of instructions for a hidden mechanism. empty.
13:40 now we just need to find the secret passage, which is obviously right here. yeah! a puzzle? six dials. take more than blind luck. mmmkay. well, can i look at it like a little bit more closely? because it seems to be like this was this is how you solve it. we need to learn slovakian. wo ye han gao shi nren shi ning? wo ye han gao shi nren shi ning?
14:29 beijing the don't and the han long le thailand. whoops. i was onto something there. it's definitely that and then okay, like a turtle wrong, bro. snake. that's it. it's three things nothing to it.
15:11 please explain your reasoning. i picked the coolest creatures. me when i look like buddy holly and you look like mary tyler moore? wait, monroe, i found a queen of bells.
15:42 it's a pint of piss. this ain't the killing house anymore. he's got an arsehole and he's not afraid to use it. they slumped my boy.
16:30 hang on, mate. breathe. mate, you got some hp sauce on your tunic, mate. you're gonna get reprimanded. you got red sauce on your tunic, mate. it's not pro call. mate, you got cat's up on your damn blazer. cressida, it's monroe. not the galaxy, not the galaxy, bud.
17:24 yeah. yeah, take this. your european ass probably love that. you're probably like damn, was that a chateau res? mille nuff, saint catervan dise nuff? oh, 1999 for you. oh, i killed him. a bomb. defuse the bomb? somebody did set us up the bomb. what the? no! they're back!
18:20 the swedish twins from the matrix are back! alright, that's kinda awesome. i'm okay. i mean, oh, never mind, i've been dead. he kicked me straight in the kidney. that is true, they came out the vinky! slime by the damn voros twins. i'm pressing the parry button, stop it! motherfucker. these swedes are strong, man. did the weed twins die when the suv blew up in the matrix 2?
19:31 no, they got d rezzed because you don't you see the they're like digital ghosts fly up and go to heaven or whatever. i think they're still around. i'm still waiting for him to come back. you don't punch a guy in the back of the head. i don't care how much you hate him. we need a matrix ranking. bro, they made they made them in order. the ranking is the order that we in which they came out as much as i don't like the third one.
20:12 and it cause it is pretty bad. the fourth one was even worse. i kinda get what they were going for with it, but it did not work for me. you're fucked, lad. it's an absolutely punishing position to be in. stop giving me tutorials when i'm in the middle of beating their ass! there you go, two for one. alright, that was literally, that would be a top ten fucking knockout on liveleak.
21:05 the simultaneous knockout is it's lucky. i will not be lowering the difficulty. i have it on realistic difficulty, which is why i will be running away. yeah, that's right. eat the bomb. then grab them. rush forward. that was a good one. ok, ok, reset switch camera lock. it's divide and conquer, bro. that was a pretty good one. you there are. i do. i do care how many of you there are. then get them. and when they do this, i kind of feel like i'm playing the quiet man.
22:10 that one could have killed me. that would have been a lethal shot. oh! maybe some poop juice would be good. i was thinking just whipping the fucking bottles at him too. oh shit. get out of there, james! grab a bottle. grab a grab a bottle, james! don't just stand there, john! he shit himself. he shit blood. no, no, no, no, no, no, no! ooh.
23:03 check this out. that's what we're looking for. oh, that's got a sting, bro! i don't care if your mikkelsen is fucking furious, that's still gotta hurt. that's right, right on the corner. motherfucker. nice try, nerd. now they're on the same side, so we hit them with an alt 4, blow them up a little bit, divide and conquer. holy shit, we made it to a fucking loading screen.
23:59 they're like, shit, the world hockey championship's on. it's 2.15 in the morning in helsinki. we gotta go watch the world hockey championship. okay, where's the off switch? we go for the motherboard. useless. we go for the battery. not this. the wires, of course, the wires. you always cut the red one. shit, down to the wire.
24:48 it's always in the last place you look, my e penny. it's always in the last place you look. the world cup was right there. is finland even in the world cup? i'm pretty sure canada mogs them in soccer. no disrespect. so he's dead? just a point of piss. oh, i had my protective haircut on. james, it's a wig to cover up your male pattern baldness. it serves as an airbag to protect you from blows to the back of the noggin. canada's only at the world cup because they're hosting three games?
25:40 i mean, i think we're hosting like 12 games. we're only playing in three of them though. cressida. cressida! cressida, legendary, a four star cressida up here. you designed el stadio olimpico? canada would qualify in this format for sure. well, that's more than you could say about italy. my, i mean, what are they doing, man? what's going on? i don't know what you, i don't know what you want me to say, but...
26:32 never thought i'd see the day my country's better at soccer than italy, but... a human life's a long time, man. license to kill? pew, pew, pew! i have so much swag, i blew up the metal detector. i've got the license to kill, mate. do you know how to handle a stick? hey, bed, you know how to handle a stick?
27:30 look out. i got it. we're going police story mode. that's the car. it's got too much of a head start. you need to cut some corners. careful what you wish for. no, not the damn bumper, man. ambulances, watch it. i've known you for two seconds, lady. where do you fucking get off telling me some shit i saw just because she thinks she's gonna die in a car accident?
28:17 just because my vision's gone all blurry because i'm doing speeds of up to 140 kilometers an hour on the back rooms. trying to catch up to fucking... oop! ...cain parsons. i can see him, lady! i can see him! okay, that one was actually really helpful. when they go low, we go high. should have picked a faster car, bro. they're getting away. clear the road!
29:29 yeah, now we're talking. grand theft auto 6. driving recklessly closed for business. driving safely open for business. hello?
30:06 james bond, am i six? yes, i figured as much. no, you look at least 22. what's your interest in 009? becker didn't spend his fugitive years on a golf course, that's what you think. dgac has been hunting here for a long time. this is the closest we've ever gotten and i'm not letting him slip through my fingers now. sounds like we have a conflict of interest. how about we burn that bridge when we get to it? fine by me. speaking of which, where is he? there. pull over. oh, wait, this is so austin powers 2 coded? no sign of 009.
30:42 i can't recall your face but your fez is familiar? damn she fucked that car up. more like bone chance. yes dude you can say it. it's james bond man. he's fucking irresistible.
31:27 look at this shit right here. you don't want any part of this. he fucking was warned just for the record. what the fuck? focus up. oh shit. oh shit. bond was killed guys. bond was killed. i'll tell you what though, i'd rather get shot than punched in the head by a tall finnish guy.
32:07 seems to do a lot less damage. you should be able to throw it back. you should be able to throw it back. on second thought, i've decided to kill you. nice try, bud. now i got a damn smg. you're fucked. i guess it's up to me now. they're all dead. i guess it's up to fucking me now. i forgot there were fucking morbius, mate.
33:01 cheeky diarrhea dart would go kind of crazy. what's up, playboy? big mistake. five more shots. keep pressuring! clear my shot! i'm injured! diarrhea, move to the next gun. kick it up to you. throw the gun at him. it won't let me throw the gun. the gun's too heavy for james to throw. he skipped arm day. surrender. right. i guess it's just up to me then. i love the last guy being a cowboy. i can't see you. get back here.
33:52 i can't see him, i'm not ready to amp him up. i mean, we gotta prove that we're not just all sound and fury. we got a little finesse in the james bond universe as well. he can't escape. this one motherfucker. slumped, came at him like a spider monkey. kick it up, kick it up, grab the gun, kick it up, kick it up.
34:47 my headshot percentage is actually crazy. fuck you, get me on that plane. you gotta grab the rope. bro, planes are really fast, you gotta run faster. you gotta run, you gotta, no. get me to the damn rope, bro. you know i actually did this once? yeah, go ahead.
35:59 one of those, you're dead. and then where's, what the hell happened to the other guy? youch! stop, stop shooting! this is a, it's an avionics exercise. phone on airplane mode? did you bring the bluetooth headphones? you know, i've never used a neck pillow.
36:48 they did break his earbuds before a flight. that's fucked up, man. it's all up to me. think. need a way to force it down. if i could access the flight control system. let's make some turbulence. and then we just kind of hold this angle and then we send it back the other way. am i not ready to go yet? reach the cockpit. i'd like to leave. suspect spotted. get him. yes sir. any casualty here?
37:41 oh, catching you stumbling, bae caught me slipping. i'm gonna fucking puke man. what the fuck? i'm starting to think i shouldn't have done all that. new objective, get a damn parachute through the driver's seat. i feel like travis pastrana.
39:04 this one. oh, my bad y'all. bro, it's you? i'd give james bond a ride, for sure. i'm driving though. people died, james. james, there's people that's dying. james, the service is over. sorry to intrude. i'm sir nicholas i'm santa claus. i'm the eye of my ear. national security advisor and ceo of web industries. i was going to say i'm sorry for your loss. secretary bright informed me of what happened.
40:34 i'm sure you did all you could. so much for the secret service. when the tech bros named webb greater than sign? as the creator of faya, privy to certain information. i know all about your exploits in iceland. i have your search history bonds. most... most disgusting. why did you do it? if i may ask, risk your life on a million to one chance? i couldn't do nothing. i didn't pass my gcses and my a levels for maths.
41:12 yes, i know the feeling. people really are capable of the most extraordinary things. i spend so much time around machines, i sometimes forget. no rest for the wicked. you're a rare breed. i should be interested to see what you do next. cut to him in the bathroom with his shirt off? it's only private sector already. sorry, i couldn't think of what to say. tell me. m wants us back at mi6.
42:08 he's taking his shirt off dump because he has ibs and all the stress has triggered his bowels to evacuate faster than would be typical for an average person. take a seat. hold all calls to my direct line. these are the facts. 009 is acting on some archaic vendetta against mi6. his actions have brought us to our knees and we are in the midst of a full blown diplomatic crisis.
42:42 this is exactly the kind of cock up that foreign secretary. it's crazy to think this is what the meetings look like when those, uh, trudeau halloween costume photos came out. it's not all bad. thanks to bonds. quick thinking in your eye for detail. greenway. they has managed to pin down double oh nine's whereabouts. i'm sending you to mauritania.
43:03 yeah, yeah, the ais determined his last known location. he was eating spaghetti in jerry seinfeld's apartment with the cast of the simpsons. here's a mock up. yeah, yeah, and here's what he would look like if he had big muscles and he replaced ray liotta in the trailer for goodfellas.
43:38 bond, you go and see q for your gear and moneypenny for your briefing. you're dismissed. bottle of water for you, mate. happy to help. quick bottle of water for you, mate. this is insufferable and immature behaviour i'm talking about. and this will not... don't you have somewhere you need to be, bond? right, i do. part of piss, isn't it?
44:20 you were on your way downstairs, i believe. lady, i'm scoping out your fucking office. if you don't want to shit your pants... if you don't want to shit your pantsuit, just chill out. don't fucking tell me what to do. excuse me, mate. sorry. come on, riot fru. robin mentions? jealous batman be like? everybody crap your pants.
44:59 i'm also, and this is not like a particularly intellectual stim to be stuck in your head, but at one point i saw a comment about the end of superman, the james gunn movie where he's in, well, okay, spoilers, but anyway, there's a song that plays
45:20 and it says, i'm a punk rocker, yes i am. but someone wrote, i'm a butt fucker, yes i am. and now, maybe once a week it just pops into my head. cuz i'm a butt fucker, yes i am. and him laughing. him like tears down his face and smiling and laughing. oh, cocksucker goes better? i'm a cocksucker, yes i am.
45:52 same but mine's for the batman. something in my ass. okay, that was pretty good too. something in my ass. scoping out the watch. sorry mate, we have no new gadgets for you bond. we've all been wrapped up in the world cup mate. have you seen it?
46:24 it looks like mexico's gonna be playing england in a round of 16, mate. it's gonna be an absolute belter. i missed you at the service. yes, i... chicharito versus harry kane. ... funerals. all that black, hell of a thing. what happened? i'm so sorry you must carry it with you. i'll be okay. you were a fine lot. i know you'll make them proud. we have invented an anti grief liquid. it's called whiskey. let's get you field ready.
46:56 i take my whiskey neat. more tea. i can do this, i can do this. my scones dry and two lumps in tea. you're too sweet for me.
47:23 it's a watch. that's what they do. oh, dude! he got the damn shocks open ear pro runs?
47:51 that's a dad classic. me fucking birds mad at me because i lost my last four quid around the pub. okay, it looks like my desk, man.
48:17 all dads love boned conduction headphones, i'll tell you. take this out.
48:54 it seems like it would have hurt pretty bad. that's new. i've successfully tested the, am i freaking out? like what do you want me to do? hold alt. oh, the lock. i thought i was just blasting the dummy in the head. of course, the lock that's glowing blue. this reminds me, oh my god. i have to pause because otherwise they're going to talk over it.
49:30 we went to heidi lau with corey on saturday. i can't believe i forgot about this. we ordered way too much food, but part of the way too much was that we got two of the noodle dances, which we thought was appropriate because there were four people. so we're like, you need like four servings of noodles. we'll get two regular and then two with the dance. we thought the dude would do like one dance with twice as many noodles or something. so like, you know, an hour into eating,
49:58 the guy comes over with the bluetooth speaker, puts it down and it's blasting like chinese nu metal and he goes like, and he's flinging the noodle around and like doing spins and stuff and putting it around himself and moonwalking and he's whipping the noodles. and it's like, i felt it hit me like in the hat. i was wearing a hat. i felt it hit the hat, but i was like, that's cool. that's funny as fuck.
50:25 so anyway, he does that for like, you know, 30 seconds and he puts the noodles in the broth and he walks away. and then his manager is like, wait, wait, wait, they got two. so he comes back.
50:36 and kory and i are killing ourselves laughing already because it's insane that they're going to make him do the dance again. but he came back with another set of noodles and did exactly the same dance. but this time he hit everybody with the noodles, like just a little flick, but he hit everybody with the noodles.
50:55 and we were like, this has got to be humiliating. but then at the end he goes to rip them so that he can make the flour into multiple noodles and he just drops it straight on the floor. and he goes, his shoulders just slumped. and then we all went, oh. so we had to go back into the kitchen and get more noodles and do the dance a third time.
51:23 and i'm sure the dude was crashing out because kory and i were laughing the whole time. i could not look at him doing the dance because it had been like almost maybe five or ten minutes of him doing the noodle dance at this point.
51:38 and then finally he tore them and he put them in the broth, but i was losing it. kate had like a little flower stain. she had like a flower mark on her cheek because when he was whipping the noodles around, he hit her in the cheek with the flour or with the noodle. it was awesome, man. i mean, i genuinely, genuinely awesome.
52:06 did you give him a shie shie after? no, but the waitress did like knock something over and she said, she said, all right, i know i handed something to her and she said thank you and i went bukukchi.
52:21 and then she went, she did give me some white boy swag. she went, so good. i was like, yeah. and then i didn't say anything else in mandarin for the rest of the dinner. but i was like, i think i used it appropriately. she did not expect the bukkakee. if you need to cover your escape or leave someone a nasty surprise. always leave them wanting more. that'll work. very good. now throw it at the static target and you'll see the proximity trigger in action.
52:58 try it this guy say you are a remarkably fast kinesthetic learn i've been told that waste cue i have somewhere to be of course you should be on your way bridget will complete your mission prep. you can pick up your service pistol from waters at the shooting range. okay, i
53:26 thanks, q. bond, here we have the dart phone, smoke pods, flash mine and laser strap. your maximum loadout is two. still, i just saw like three of my friends die. what do you mean my maximum loadout is two? and to encounter organized and motivated opposition. motivated? i'll show them motivated. yeah, i think i'll take, and there's just something about the poop toxin.
53:59 that really appeals to me. and then let's go with the laser strap, man. i don't wanna have to worry about locked doors. hooked up heidi lau noodle dance on youtube. the first video is awesome. i can't believe you made him do it three times. we thought if we ordered two noodle dances, he would just bring twice as many noodles and do one dance. also the noodle dance, they price it too cheap. cuz the noodles are like 490.
54:32 and the noodle dance is the exact same price. the noodle dance is also $4.90. one second i earned a drop. silent line. 007 first light. drop successfully claimed. hello, chiblee.
54:45 ghibli i've been enjoying going british motor double oh seven. i've been enjoying saying me barons gone mad at me cuz i lost my ford last four quid around the pub waters. you have a package for me, right? you are one mi6 standard issue service pistol one swedish made penis enlargement pump now we're talking the range is there whenever you need it blow off steam get your eye in whatever and
55:18 be birds mad at me. be birds mad at me because i spent my last four quid having a poke at the tavern. that's it. is that the canadian equivalent of when they put the moose head on you at your birthday? literally was crazy. i like you sounded like a nightmare. i know what you're talking about because i've been to montana's for a birthday, but the only person who i know in my life who wants to go to montana's for their birthday is my mother in law. she goes fucking crazy for that moose head, man.
55:51 like swanky swanky swanky mentioned new uh cine two nurdle link for swanky i mean who bombs a chess tournament a sore loser mate that's not even funny mate she's too fucking soon mate trust no one gerald he's an idiot the rest of us heard about what happened and that you're going back out there some of us would love to be going with you i've applied for field training myself
56:47 anyway, we just wanted you to know that we're behind you all the way. thanks. fanboys man. absolutely not. we need to act now. he's talking like christopher and multi santi trying to sell stocks.
57:07 okay. this is not an appropriate fit for office attire. hang on. i found the mole?
57:32 this is not office appropriate. oh shit, no wait, we're in the nerd cave, i forgot. it's not that, honestly, it's just the back that looks obscene. the front is okay, he's kind of dressed like an old 1900s gymnast or something. toewalker? toewalker representation in a video game? got my hair cut too.
58:06 you're just jealous? i can't do shirt tucked in. i don't know what it is. i honestly, i think part of it is that i have long torso, short legs, so shirt tucked in, even if i got the fit right, it doesn't look right. and then also,
58:23 i can never tuck it in, if it looks good at the front, it looks too bad at the back. it's all like bunched up at the back. otherwise, it's kind of like spilling out over the top. not the meat, but the fabric and it's like it just doesn't look, it just doesn't fit right, man. pretty tense out there. a diplomatic crisis. your office looks like lo fi hip hop to study to. today was rough. how are you holding up? you needed to show me something. who's the lady? oh, you don't recognize agent roth?
58:56 i believe you shared an aston martin. you can't be serious. we chatted. nice lady. retires next year to spend time with her grandchildren. who was the woman then? that's what i'd like to find out. oh shit, she's a phony. who were the blonde twins? any match on the blonde twins? nico and taro merto. those weren't the twins i was talking about. highly adept at unarmed combat, improvisation and social infiltration.
59:24 these are ruthless operators, james. ice cold killers. i know. i was there. ready for that mission brief? what you got for me? come, let's have a look. not going to lie, you have got your work cut out for you. greenway.
59:42 jetstream sam?
59:59 from here, he embarked on a complex route, eventually bringing him to egypt where we lost his trail. he was just chasing king of the mountain on strava. however, despite significant effort being put into obscuring transport payments, thayer managed to pin two of the chartered private jets to the pirate king, bhavma. yes, you heard me right. pirate king. and?
1:00:20 what do we have on this bawma? uh, abducted by militants at the age of 10 along with his little sister. trained as a child soldier until age 12 when bawma turned on his captors, killing five and escaping. spent half a decade looking for a sister, to no avail.
1:00:37 relatable.
1:00:56 major league weapons bazaar if i'm not mistaken. indeed, and with the clientele to match. aleph is a cesspool of military and pmc personnel rubbing shoulders with rebel groups and criminal organizations alike. that's what it looks like inside of sherlock holmes' brain.
1:01:12 it doesn't. which is probably why he managed to stay invisible for more than a decade. however, with the new intel, things are starting to line up. and considering the amount of... oh, sorry, we blue screened guys. windows 11. we had a fucking windows update last night, bond. aleph is most likely where he's been hiding all along. all my sounds coming out of my damn playstation controller, james. go to aleph. find 009 and bring him back.
1:01:39 everything depends on your success, no pressure. rise and shine, we're almost there. i take the road less traveled by. wait me when we get to a left, not when we're almost at a left. this jeep defender can really handle the off road hills in a left. drive assist has been took. oh shit. oh, motherfucker. wheels locked up on me. how many ducks we got on the damn windshield? when you're ready, bond. right.
1:02:21 why does every streamer do this? because fuck the sponsored content in the game. if they wanted me to be nice, they should have sponsored me! they should have sponsored me instead of io interactive and instead i'm gonna take your jeep defender, i'm gonna drive it into the hills outside of a left. it's a land rover? whatever.