name's bald...James Bald (007 First Light)

Name: name's bald...James Bald (007 First Light)
Uploaded: 2026-05-31
Channel: Northernlion
Description: Full searchable transcript of "name's bald...James Bald (007 First Light)" (007 First Light) — 53 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Northernlion2026-05-31007 First Light

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53 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 we're playing 007 first light. sorry, i'm literally in the settings menu here. my mistake, y'all. you never see that. first, i gotta earn the number. this is the new game. it's not sponsored, but i figured i would intro it in case you're like, why is he playing a aaa game? because it's from the hitman team.
0:17 and i've heard it as hitman type elements, although it's not literally just a reskinned hitman, which could be a positive or it could be a negative depending on your perspective. it's obviously a little bit more story driven than hitman world of assassination, which was more like emerging gameplay. but of course when you got a property like this, they probably wanna let her rip, right? here's what i'm thinking, take the master volume down.
0:45 i know you can't hear anything right now, but i know that there's going to be some dialogue in cut scenes. so i'm going to raise the volume a lot on my end and then i'm going to keep the dialogue high and i'm going to take everything else down so that you can hear. i guess it should be like you should be up there.
1:13 and then keep the dialogue high so that you can hear everything in the cutscenes. not because i want you to hear everything in the cutscenes, but so that you don't just type, we can't hear anything during the cutscene. that would be like, that would be a good day for me.
1:34 bond needs to be strategic with his health, resources and abilities while enemies are more resilient and harder to counter. yeah, yeah, we'll be playing on the on the hardened difficulty. let's put it in the title so you know what's real. hardened difficulty, deathless any percent, iron man impossible difficulty, first playthrough, those who drop spoilers will be executed on site. no backseating exclamation point demon bluff.
2:06 it's crazy to think this is what your door dash goes through on the way to your house. i thought it...
2:35 see this i can't sit backwards on the helicopter. i would get motion sickness i would rather even though that one literally got shot. i would rather be sitting forwards on that one as long as you can still quote tweet the website still viable ghibli did you know this is what happens if you don't put your phone on airplane mode?
3:25 this is how the flight attendants act when you lower your window shade during takeoff and taxi. jimmy lannister's view after the battle of the loot train. pov my stomach after i finish this bottle. he's so close to having a broccoli haircut man. i ordered food in a storm last night and said bro if the weather's too bad you can just keep it. he said man even if this is hurricane katrina i'm gonna get you this food. chiblee welcome to america.
4:40 there's a lot that you can poke fun at and i would be the first to tell you that but there's also there's a certain joie de vivre and it's not just 72 ounce sodas. wait this could be far cry 7. if we just maybe we could just end the game right now if we don't press w then he comes back with the crab rangoon. it was beautiful bro. bubble07 wait that's pretty good. bubble07 is pretty fucking good.
5:47 don't say stuff like this is what happens to a british person's stomach after one spicy dorito. okay? we don't know how spicy they made the doritos roulette back in 2014 that sent that one british person to the hospital. there could have been an error at the factory that made the doritos so spicy that it warranted hospitalization. rubble 07, okay. i'm gonna need you to stop. because you're outshining me on my own property here.
6:28 i can't understand him, he must be from the millions. i think i have like ptsd from directive 80 20. like just this camera perspective and then a forced slow walk is bringing me back to like three weeks ago. doubled over 07? i realize how many awesome words have the sound of a bullet. yeah, yeah, here, trouble 07. i know you're gonna say trouble 07 here.
7:15 and then, of course, after a couple of days on the beach here, he's gonna say stubble o seven. you're valid for that. i've been shot and killed by special agents. sorry, try. my bad, y'all.
7:57 should have punched them? that's not russian? all i know is it's not mandarin, okay? whatever you say, man. hey, don't do that. you can't do that.
8:37 sweeping the rest of the beach for survivors. for free. sounds vaguely bulgarian. they were speaking english, bro. vitorial smudge. i love the smug james bond. yeah. yeah, i know how to crouch. mmm, yes, moneypenny. moneypenny, i know how to crouch. i learned it from the best. remember? you showed me when i was... when i was... when i was fucking you in the ass.
9:21 james! you guys ever seen a james bond movie? it's kind of like that. it's a little bit like that. and then usually there's like a tech guy. sometimes he's like young, but then sometimes he's like really, really old. i think you got the wrong movie. guy who's only seen die another day.
9:58 he would never fuck money, penny? they talk about having intercourse all the time. all of their dialogue is sexual double entendres. yeah, it's like all of them but me? pretty much all the guys here but me?
10:30 that's the son, james. first time outside of england? that's the james bond, all i know about him, he hacks the department of defense while getting sucked off.
11:08 he's not allowed to come anywhere near a laptop or the fbi is gonna have his ass in supermax. john travolta, he might be alive, he might be dead. he had a very realistic dummy i guess that he used to trick james bond into thinking that he was dead at some point in the movie.
11:39 the naked halle berry, of course. are you sure you're up for this? adrenaline can mask even significant damage. better keep those levels up then. excuse me, i do think i need to lower the audio just a little bit here. now i can't hear anything. we're going to raise the audio just a little bit here. that's swordfish. nah, bro. spy movie, halle berry, madonna.
12:20 i'm pretty sure i know a james bond movie when i hear one. what is it? just taking in the view. tell me what you see. me when i'm home sick from school at 11 a.m. tell me about them. they're an international group speaking english but with accidents, capable and well organized, ex military, firearms are unfamiliar, i guess special issue. that's good. alright guys. keep your eyes peeled.
12:57 the dialogue was like so loud it was in my brain. bro, you're not six, why am i seven? he called the teacher mom, man.
13:31 i mean, i've been there. it's embarrassing. are you stressed out? why are so many minus twos from people who called their teacher mom by accident? didn't realize i had a bunch of nerds in chat. we're on the damn moon, bro!
14:02 you're dodging the question. and you're hypothermic. get to the camp and find some warm clothes. i need you operational. could a hypothermic guy do this? could a hypothermic guy do this? chat was homeschooled, so mom was the teacher. what? in the cold. firstly hot, then nothing. right. also, can you not use the term homeschooled? we prefer unschooled these days. those of us in the unschooling movement.
14:50 excuse me, i want to drop down, thank you. you're one of us whether you like it or not. librarian, were you homeschooled? because you keep the, it's very troubling because you have sent many messages about your chinese teacher hitting you when you got pronunciation wrong. i guess it's bad if your teacher hits you too. it's bad if your parents hit you. it's bad if anybody hits you, especially when you're a kid.
15:35 they rigged the entire camp and perimeter. enough to level this place. yeah. he's not fucking with me. this one's armed. they are all armed. thank you, mi6. saves us the trouble. mi6 explosives. you're the ones running your retrieval mission. not officially. and you set up a grid of high explosives covering the whole area. it's a post mission cleanup measure. thermochemical sterilization. i didn't want you to get worried. no. chemical sterilization.
16:09 what's to worry about? thermo. bam, bam, bam, bam. but not all is used out in the cold. yes, i know. you guys ever hear the joke about the thermos? my buddy said i got a thermos, it's amazing. it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold. he said what you got in there? he said tomato soup and a popsicle. hi yo! you know what i'm talking about, guys? know what i'm saying? you guys ever listen to the jerky boys? there's a window here i could get through. you guys ever watch crank yankers?
16:59 no, but it sounds fine. depends who you ask. probably hasn't aged well. just play the game, man? what do you want me to say? i'm walking towards the lighted area.
17:38 i found a receipt in the jacket. berlin cafe, november 17th. paid in cash. interesting. keep it coming. it seems whoever set us up drinks coffee. narrows it down to about 8 billion people. someone's lying here. he's been shot. that's me when i played demon bluff. yeah, yeah, i know. he's bald, okay? it's a bald white guy. foster, one of yours? i know. get it out of your system. keep going.
18:27 oh? i found one of their guns. what kind? it's a txk biom. serial's gone. discontinued. also, it's biometrically locked. 3d printer, baby. brilliant. might i suggest you still hold it so they don't shoot you with it? heading into the camp now. don't draw attention to yourself. not now. prouching is not allowed in public spaces to avoid raising suspicion. i thought we were in serbia. come to voice.
19:15 military grade layered encryption. hard to come by. well, it depends how long it's been, honestly. patch. red and white checkers. in this context, could reference croatia. torn grid map here. that's just a site explosives protocol from the mi6 handbook. rocket launcher. serial 394 klb211. it's out of warranty. it was stolen in algiers nine years ago. that was fast. keep digging. we're not done.
19:56 you think that everything's gonna go like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop
20:34 and that cleanup? that was messy. you've got to see this! come on. let's check it out. you've got this right? good man. some of them just mentioned a messy german job. nine million lost. hang on. i know exactly who we're up against. a balkan gang of thieves known as arrowhead. notorious for never leaving any witnesses.
21:02 listen, i'm going to ask you to enter the big central tent. but what you learn in there can never be mentioned to anyone. understood? heading there now. did you guys just... did you just come pick me up? you have signed the official secret act. i need to hear you say that you accept and acknowledge its ramifications. i accept and acknowledge. can you just come pick me up? vulcan mentioned but always in a bad way. uh, excuse me, he said he went mountain climbing there. that sounds pretty nice.
21:44 i don't know what the hell he was saying to get the guard off his back though. could you hand me the belay? could you hand me the carabiner? i'm trying to set up a bivouac. steven spielberg was here, man. that's the director's chair. so? lay it on me. i can't. you're still on a needs know basis. figures. mission protocol gray envelope forbids any over air mention at this encryption level. we'll not discuss any specifics. i'd say the lighting looks good as fuck.
22:31 oh shit. havana syndrome. oh, i'm pretty sure like ronan the accuser's in there.
23:17 with the onboard computer. just one problem, my eyes appear to be melting. there. you think this is what happened after jake gyllenhaal's spaceship crashed at the end of life? dusty depot ass. it does have a certain dusty depot sorta... well, more like dusty divot, like after the meteor hit.
24:10 i know we're gonna open up this last one and she's gonna be like, oh there it is. what? my water bottle! i left my water bottle there. okay, you can come back now.
24:26 should i worry? give me a sec. we got what we came for. let's get the hell out of here. we get on the zappen in three weeks, strike a code in brazil. works for me. the others are preparing the final cleanup now. ever been to brazil? first time. what's it like? but did you mention zapp distortion before? yeah. i need you to do exactly as i say. do you see the red double?
24:51 head for it right now. what? you need an antidote. you've been exposed to a nerve agent. oh, no biggie. what's this? decontamination. no, man, not the flared trousers. what exactly am i looking for? a green box with a bright orange stripe. probably tucked away somewhere. nerve agent 47. i see you're throwing it for a different sort of, you're putting a different spin on it now. where the hell is all this stuff? hurry.
25:40 you need the antidote now. just running into shit, man. this is how you walk when you don't want your parents to know you're high. i had a saddle sore earlier this week. they had me walking like fucking robocop. they should put the antidote in a fucking can though so when you took it you could go glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug. there'd be such a satisfying way to take medicine. here goes nothing. i gotta be honest, that's pretty satisfying too.
26:24 you'll be me looking for the headache medicine and my wife says it's right there. man, don't even get but the thing is she's usually right or you know you're in trouble when she says where it usually is. then you're like pushing it. okay, now i gotta go say. and where is it? they still have that thing you're after and they're about to leave.
26:57 yes, and we'll let them. thanks to you, we've been able to deduce exactly who the buyer is, where they'll be meeting, and at what time. we'll intercept in a controlled environment with no risk to the asset. you just get out of the camp, sit tight. it is always in the last place you looked, dov. one of your crew's still alive. hostiles have him.
27:22 then it's not there and you win the argument. okay, that's literally never happened to me. i open the fridge and i go where's the ketchup? and she goes in the fridge and then i go, do you think i'm sleeping? that's the first place i looked. it's always in the same spot in the fridge and then she goes check again. and then i open up the damn fridge and it's like in the exact same spot it normally is where i swear that i fucking looked a second ago.
27:48 i'm taking this one to the others. g9 or b4? doesn't matter. they're all inside the blast zone. what's the point then? they're all going to die anyway. they just shot him. no witnesses. what about me, though? i'm a witness! i think so many others are still alive, but the hostiles plan to blow up the place. you need to get out of the blast zone. no, i need to save those people. that is not your call. stand down. that's an order.
28:22 listen carefully. you have less than 1% chance of success. now stand down. i'll take those odds. bond! europeans in gambling, man. all right. okay, james. two containers. b4 or g9. which one's first? whichever one's closer. search containers b4 and g9.
28:55 how much longer have we got? you got somewhere to be? yeah, somewhere sunny. i had enough sunshine on the brisbane job. i heard about that. picking up. it's you okay? you have no idea. one more like that. guy who gets sexual pleasure out of searching the dossier. no time to hesitate. no time to hesitate? i don't know where i'm going, man. visceral grunts.
29:41 this is an ezio ladder. it's gonna say, laudatore. bro, it's not the time, man. it ain't the time for that. jump? oh shit. g9? g9, damn! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. i actually might be the goat. and then i get his storage key.
30:26 and i collect a satellite part. i'm gonna build my own fucking satellite here. what would pierce brosnan do, man? hey, you... oh, thank god. come on. untie us. listen, we've done a bunch of time and we need to get you out of here. what's the plan? can't we just sit tight and wait for the others to deal with the hostiles? i'm all you've got. just one guy.
30:57 we're so screwed. get a grip, irv. the fuck? i'm doing a good job. plus, you got corey! you got corey here too, man. in b4, other side of the camp. they split us in two groups. they're a really rough. i hope they're okay. okay. you need to stay put while i free them and run east on my signal. what kind of signal? you'll know when you see it. godspeed. good. stay ambiguous. irv, get your shit together.
31:33 are you the captain? not bad, y'all. we should take this guy out first. and then grab his biometrically locked gun, take you out next. should i just hit the takedown button?
32:10 dude, the fact that this is on pc means we could get an austin powers skin. alright, container b4. where are you? james, i've placed a cyan indicator on your head. i've placed a baby blue indicator on your head, james.
32:31 should help you in finding the other container you're looking for. i'm also realizing, keep them busy. i want to perform a test before we get killed here.
32:58 i think that when we booted the game it caused us to have like eight seconds of stream delay.