scales of justice - Bits and Banter [05⧸07⧸2026]

Name: scales of justice - Bits and Banter [05⧸07⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-10
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "scales of justice - Bits and Banter [05⧸07⧸2026]" — 146 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-10

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0:00 hit me on my belly prepaid wireless. you know, i've heard the song. willfully, by the way. i've heard it. it's overexposed, but i still willfully hear paper planes by m.i.a. i still know what she says. my burner, hit me on my burner prepaid wireless. we pack and deliver like ups trucks. already going hard, just pumping that gas. must not be in oregon or new jersey then. unless she works for the gas station.
0:29 logging a new movie on letterboxd, cnn, elle's recent reviews, i swear unc just watching any old thing. hey, why you're well, he'll watch any old thing! well, he'll watch any old thing! so you wrap yourself in swaddling and a fever to prepare for an open wing. it's an actor thing, she's just pretending. it's an act you know what i'm fucking talking about? anyone else think that spencer krug is kind of like brendan urie if he didn't suck? anyone else think that
0:59 spencer krug is kind of like brendon urie if he didn't suck. anyone else up, fucking gun to your head. motherfucker. best song off block party silent alarm. and don't say blue light. i'm gonna fucking freak out if you say blue light. blue light. bang! that's a warning shot into the, i put it at the warning shot into the wall. helicopter, helicopters got a certain... i'm a little thoughts guy.
1:28 the bullet went into my 32 year old baby's room. this is better than go back to sleep. it's just a dream that's all. any bruce colbert knowers? how come the mirror is broken? what caused the glass to fall? who put that bullet hole in peggy's kitchen wall? you know what i'm talking about? 37 year olds
1:57 loved mumford and sons when it dropped. buddy, you don't know how many times i was at karaoke i had to listen to some motherfucker sing wagon wheel by the old crow medicine show. it's originally a bob dylan track. okay, he fucking wrote joker man, too. i don't want to hear that shit. i tell you some fucked up shit, bro. woke up at 2 30 a.m. because my daughter said tuck me in. i tucked her in and went i'm warmer than i've ever been in my entire life. i'm gonna go get a glass of water.
2:24 went downstairs to get a glass of water, came upstairs, she took my place in the bed. what the hell is wrong with you? it's 2.30 in the... you really think dad's getting up at 2.30 in the fucking morning? i said, go back to your bed. she got very upset. i tucked her in, she fell asleep in a second. boom. nasty schoolboy with no place to go. so true. i'm loving the in context lyrics.
2:49 just bouncing from reference to reference. try again tomorrow. sorry, it's trying to find a game for me. wait, wait, wait. corey said i'd play. the everything that maybe i actually can sing. i just grew up listening to so much country music that my brain imprinted on like some kind of like alan jackson type twang that i can no longer speak with. who is the gaucho when we go? no, maybe not, huh? maybe not.
3:21 kory has not replied to me out of respect for my friend. i'm declining this cue i'm declining this cue and i believe that i believe that he was not going to live to go live until 930 but then he said i'm gonna lock in make my cup of coffee right now and be live at 914 broadway rail them everybody dance
3:49 that's true, we shouldn't make fun of the millennials that much. gen z's not without sin. i mean i never want to hear another fucking sea shanty as long as i live man. it's not even other sea shanties, it's just the same one over and over. bad take. cycling jake, i gotta tell you to pump the brakes. i know you got a big head, you were one of the main characters of the stream yesterday or the day before.
4:10 but now you're positioning yourself too antipodal to the streamer as a cry for attention. you need to let the character of cyclingjake77 develop naturally, not simply gain some notoriety and then being the other person on crossfire.
4:29 that was literally millennials? no man, it's gen z! gen z is the one singing the sea shanties. millennials are the one clapping their hands like seals and going, this is awesome, this is awesome, i love the younger generation. stop being a pick me bro, you were born in 1989. they fucking hate you man! they hate you! they will never respect you, they're never gonna invite you for non alcoholic cocktails, okay? they're blaming you for the housing crisis man.
4:58 i feel like i'm having a stroke. what the fuck is he talking about? you think geordie griep fell out of a coconut tree? he exists within the context of all music that came before him. i can't do a kamala harris impression at all. it sounded like your blood simple voice. i need that. that one comes up organically at runtime a lot of the time, so i don't need to force it. ah, fuck it. this is for m. emmett walsh. if i see him. wait, it does sound that it kind of is like kamala harris.
5:33 if i see him, i'll be sure to send him a message. corey's using my own tactic against me. i said, are any of you around or do you need a minute? and then he didn't reply. if i were in corey's shoes means that he needs 12 minutes. but rather than say i need 12 minutes and then risk having to wait 30 minutes,
6:00 he is going to come back in five or six minutes and go, i just need one minute. that's what i would do. yes, kory, please. i'm bombing. nobody's fucking with my hit me on my belly prepaid wireless. we got at noon. we're doing birdwatching kory. so at this point, i've already lost like six rounds.
6:20 i've lost six rounds of counter strike that don't come back because at noon we have an unflexible segment, which means if a fucking round ends at like 11.41, we're missing out on a further 19 minutes, bro. brother, i'm gonna freak out. i'm queuing again. i'm queuing again. and i think i'm right to queue. i waited 10 minutes from the time that the last queue popped and have received no feedback.
6:47 i sent him a message. are you around or do you need a minute? that was sent at 9.05. it's now 9.12. obviously he needed a minute. don't you have his number? just call him. i'm not even sure i have corey's number to be honest. literally the only two entities that i get text messages from are dan gheesling and people that are like straight up scammers. your wife? bro we're online. we ain't using text messages. we're on some
7:15 asian messaging app where you can send stickers of like cute teddy bears blowing kisses at each other. that was obviously my impetus. that was what i said, can you please download line? okay, kory, i'm waiting until the queue hits zero. i'm all tabbed in the discord, waiting until the queue hits zero colon zero one. you have seven seconds left. i'm sorry, man, i waited. what do you mean i failed to accept that i've been removed from matchmaking?
7:50 i'm tweaking bro, i'm actually tweaking. 9.05 am, 9.02 am i'd play. it is now 9.16 am. i'm, fuck it, i'm dragging his ass, give me a second. twitch.tv slash flak blag. you got a schedule on this? you got a schedule on this beast? no schedule.
8:12 play ai text to speech sound bites on the stream. bro's got a hassan ai voice in the soundboard. i love to chill in my three million dollar mansion. bro's got an ai hassan soundboard on his video player, man. that's so crazy. that's so insane. i had no idea. his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
8:43 no, no, no, man. you can't be having this down here. my name is donald j. trump and i approve this message. holy cow, man. this is crazy. what the hell is movie guy? i'm scared to even click on this, man. brian from family guy? we're no strangers to love you no. no, that's...
9:13 that's brian. let's drop tilted towers and get the victory royale. that is not bart simpson. i'm sorry. that's not bart, man. movie guy. coming soon to a theater near you among us in the sus imposters. this guy is like 42 years old, man. i'm freaking out. this is awesome. my fellow americans, we have found life on a new planet and we will be moving to that planet.
9:43 awesome. oh, wait, one discord message. a minute, sorry. oh my god. right as the queue popped and if i abandon... if i abandon, i'm gonna get a matchmaking penalty. are we getting the show on the road or what's going on here? and by a minute, i mean probably five more. when your friend says all play, waits 18 minutes to say actually i need six more minutes,
10:18 we're playing deathmatch. he's literally lucky man. he's lucky he doesn't have a schedule because if i went to his channel and it said like live every day at 9 a.m i was gonna freak the fuck out. the hell is this music? are you hearing this? is this in the game?
11:01 is someone playing the music into their mic? i don't get it. oh, maybe it's probably corey's going live soon. yeah, it is. oh, shit, that's funny. i honestly thought we were on like a community server or something. best 22 minutes of stream. listen, these people are literally my friends. the number of times that... and it's not all about gameplay, man. the number of times i put dan's stream on when i get on the bike,
11:35 and then by the time i get off the bike, he's still like either on the starting soon screen or opening packs is mind boggling to a fella such as myself. hello, corey. hello. hello. good morning. good morning. is this still the morning? it's nine, nine 30. coming in a little close. africa when i was small, corey gun to your head best track off of silent alarm.
12:06 the block party album from 2000. yeah, i was i always liked helicopter honestly right burner man. i'm an burner burner banner man. yeah, i was a big fan of helicopter back in the great song guitar hero too. yeah, corey asia or gaucho? i've never heard either doesn't stop you from answering. i don't know. gaucho
12:33 wow, dude, that's a crazy answer. i kind of agree though. it's kind of like anathema. like it's it's kind of like it goes against the the central tenets of music. but i actually the more i listen to him, the more i kind of agree, man. so whenever whenever i hear music of that like style and era, it just transports me to being in like the back of
12:57 like the car with my dad knee deep in the passenger seat just like sit in the back trying to get my like iowa portable cd player that runs on 6c batteries to tend to stop skipping the the like i don't know whatever the hell i was listening to it that area is that your that's your discipline probably it was it's probably fucking corn i was listening to a shitload of prozac back then man
13:26 oh no. a little sexual frustration and a loss of concentration. you know what i'm talking about? no, this was pre discman. i had like a portable boom box type thing. it was like this... i don't know how to... it was almost... one of those? i don't know how to describe it. because it wasn't like a long boom box. it was like maybe a third of the size of a normal boom box. it had a cassette player on the front, cd player on top.
13:58 i think i had a fucking am fm radio in it. it ran off like six c batteries and like, wouldn't last like three hours probably. it cost you like fifteen bucks a day to actually use the boombox. no skip protection so like putting that in the back of the car and listening to it. that's so crazy.
14:22 i was watching apollo play a little bit last night. he's doing like some sam fisher stuff. he'll win the match on like round 21, have nine kills, six deaths. like i don't know, the bro is lurking. he's very good. it's also very funny to watch him. game sense, andy. game sense. yeah, he loves saying... he's a crutch. he does love saying people are cheating. i know apollo, he basically did say, fuck our good friend apollo. he said he's really good at counter strike, but
14:51 he's insNLy good. but if you weighed his spirit against a feather, it wouldn't look good for him. it's basically what he said about you. i'm the type of beast be acting, asking anubis to take the feather off the scale. my bad guys. oh my god! tim wakefield ass knuckleball. dude, the grenade works, but teammate body blocked me maybe. i got an assist anyway.
15:27 oh no, the assist doesn't count. i thought maybe they would count it even though it was on you. ooh, stoner. good shot. mvp, most explosive damage dealt. okay. holy shit. zero, it looks like. one happened. i'm slumping him, corey. there's only one left. i have no idea where he is. you did get 3k. okay, you redeemed yourself immediately after. you don't like winky smile with a sideways peace sign?
16:09 oh, did you do it in chat? no, bro, i did it with my face. ooh. one's still on a. oh, it's just you again. one's on b. wow. we win these, bro. imagine. let yourself believe. what the fuck? let yourself believe for a damn second. that's fucking crazy. they're losing their mind. they're losing their mind. they've never seen that, they said.
16:59 fucking crazy. they're losing their mind. they're losing their mind. oh fucking christ. he's in there. he's in there. i just dinked my own guy too. yeah, i saw. this is chaos, man. i don't know if it was that chaotic. it just fucking ruined my mental.
17:30 it didn't look that chaotic to me. it kind of looked like you just shot him in the head. no, i had just got shot by my own guy. just started shooting at everything i think after that. wait, yeti banned again? i'm still here, i'm just making lunch. they were calling for your demise, yeti.
17:52 can you help? i think showbiz kids is a great song but my friend thinks the backing vocals are incredibly annoying. what's your take? sorry to say i don't really like showbiz kids that much. i think it's crazy that steely named their greatest hits album showbiz kids. like what's wrong with them man? i do like when he says, corey back me up here, i like when he says, you got the coup de grace, these kids is outrageous now honey let me tell you. i don't know how to sing backing vocals, i'm sorry. no you don't michael mcdonald.
18:22 you pretty much got it people just be saying some stuff we both know exactly what we saw are you gonna buy the? huntrix meal at mcdonald's oh did they drop one comes out next week? oh?
18:56 oh, i was gonna say, i might be going there tonight. maybe pre order? pre order a couple? pre order. gotta get it in. are you gonna get the huntrix meal or the saja boys meal? i don't know. is that what they're doing? that is what they're doing. did they release what they are? is it just like... i don't know. chicken nuggets with a different sauce again? someone told me. a mutual friend of ours. mutual friend of... your wife, right? yes, yes, that's correct.
19:27 i'm not even fucking with you kory. my daughter has an activity that ends at like 8 o'clock on wednesdays. after it, needed a quick dinner, walked into subway. classic subway situation, one person working, four people in line. i walked the fuck out.
19:41 i'm not waiting here for 22 fucking minutes to get a subway sandwich. that's insane. the fuck ass franchisee can hire a second person to work at the subway. you're literally paying the minimum wage and you're too cheap to have a second person working at subway? like what the fuck is wrong with you? it's madness, man! it's like almost every place too. and then they're getting like... this ain't a bubble tea joint!
20:07 i mean, i'm sure there are people ordering like 20 foot long sandwiches on doordash with no advance notice. but i'm like, just higher, higher. wow. flash and trophy and then tech nine rush. orange, never take out a grenade ever again. i know you're literally out fragging me. never pull out a grenade. there's one fence or rafters, i should say. ah, you got this purple. i mean, orange, purple's on the other team.
20:54 holy fuck we won one's up heaven heaven that's my guy there. they're going to be it's my thing be they just went vent
21:59 they planted out left. let's go. it's kind of crazy actually, right? how's your adrenaline? i'm feeling good, man. i'm feeling good after that. slump them. four in one. what's gonna be one inch in a minion? wait. what's gonna be one inch in a minion? i had to have high, high hopes. okay, that song i do. yeah. i'm gonna say.
22:34 that sounds like a ramp? yeah. let's go! we killed two ramp, we run these streets. they drop anything cool? oh, smgs. one vent squeaky? cockshot. asap rocky! mini and one mini. got him. it's just you, ryan. what the fuck? i got an ace, bro! whoa! let's go!
23:12 it's a jesus christ bob balaban with an earring. a shotgun ace. crazy. what the fuck happened to the rest of the team, man? jesus christ. the shotgun... the cock gun tech works, man. oh, it's perfect for you, because that's where you aim anyway. that's where i aim anyway, exactly. some boys lobby. confirmed. hey, there's only one left. lobby. not picking a bomb on my watch, i'll tell you that much. just gonna be patient.
24:04 that's bad. what the fuck happened? okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. what the fuck happened? what the fuck happened? he popped me. he bought an op. we're all broke, so you know. so you're the only one with a gun. yeah, yeah, yeah. well, two rounds ago, that wouldn't have changed anything. am i right or am i wrong? hot and mini. there you got me.
24:53 you guys lock in. oh my god. oh, just so they don't get it. exactly. good, good trade. oh shit. oh, they're on top of a hut, a miniature. they're everywhere outside.
25:40 corey corey he's a bad man kind of crazy period flax 10 wins 14,000 elo ghibli a hundred and forty one wins 9892 elo i think he was on like promotion match like three times yesterday holy shit it's so insane that
26:17 nobody on my friends list has more than a 46% win rate. i mean i have an 81% win rate. oh no, never mind. you have an 81% percentile. yeah, i looked at the wrong one. you were really feeling yourself after that nuke game, huh? i have one that's 51%. their top 2%. oh damn. 25k rating. that's insane. kind of crazy. that's crazy. vixd kind of crazy with it.
26:46 justin has played like 400 matches during the last four months. justin's been insane with this game. 4356 bro. he's got a perfect sequence in his win percentage. this is not no prince dream bro. y power. oh great. ramp, at least one. holy fuck. oh my god, i got hit for 99 and then got a grenade kill. that's insane. good round guys, good round. weird one.
27:17 fucking weird round. i gotta figure out who said that, chad, and mute him? i don't know who said it. i have comms off, so i don't know. i wasn't lying, dude. fuck. oh no, okay, i gotta mute everybody? this sucks! they asking you, gaucho or asia? uh, nope. neither of the words they said started with that letter.
27:52 the ol' racism speedrun took one round. you just repeat what they said verbatim, but like with quotation marks around it? oh, red box. yeah, you got me. scout at me, he's gonna take my op. wait, he didn't take the op? he stuck with the scout, man. yeah, yeah, he didn't go get your gun. who does he think he is? someone other than annie? what's this guy talking about? i thought you muted him. no, no, you! oh, me? that's a musical, annie, get your gun. double your game sense.
28:34 dude, clearing corners in this game feels so good. it feels like digging out a piece of earwax. you know what i'm saying? like the way you go to the corner of your room and dig your angle into the corner of the other room and then dig out the other side and eventually you're like... you know what i'm saying? no, sure. yes, and i love ear picking. oh, of course. who doesn't? lots outside, yeah.
29:07 okay, i can't, why am i even trying to... tom, i'm muted to them too. i forgot we're playing with racists. which honestly, the least they could do is like clutch up here. if you're gonna be racist, the least you could fucking do is be cracked at counter strike. you know enter the gungeon is 10 years old? that makes sense. that feels about right. fucking suck. 10 years is kind of like old for a game, but young for a person. yeah, that's true.
29:49 trying to go vent, i think. yep. glanced at literally glanced at shai, said he's not gonna push trophy. there's two in trophy, there's two in trophy. as we speak. there's that now they breached ramp. what were you glancing at? literally i just i was bored for one millisecond and said i gotta peek. final fantasy x is starting to show up in top retro games list. i'm gonna end it all. it's i mean it literally came out in like 2003. what are you that's 23 years ago, bro. that's valid. that shit is old. you should yeah you should
30:24 reconsider your priorities. they shouldn't put it in there because it's not that good, man. you didn't enjoy the epic battle against sin? what, titus going? honestly, i'm virtue signaling i never really played it. wow! okay, one in garage. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. good shooting, corey. good shooting. do we know where the last one is? fuck it, i'll say it. rosalina. fuck. my king.
31:14 huge round, corey. huge round. stressed, stressed, stressed. holy cow. you know those racists are going crazy right now. they're going, he's one of us! he's one of us! i believe one of them has an offensive sticker on their gun is what they were talking about before too. all right, this is the steam profile of the racist guy. there were two racist guys, but this is the guy with the racist skin.
31:46 it does have a name tag that says white power. now there you go. i don't support you in any way, but good job guys. they're kinda carrying us to be honest. dude, chat instead of a crosshair actually might be the fucking move. that way i could read chat while looking at my crosshair. i literally almost shot you in the back, which would have killed you for sure. why would you do such a thing? i just lacked impulse control for like an iota of time. oh fuck.
32:25 devastating. nice try. i'm not gonna say nice try though, because they're racist, right? yeah, yeah, yeah. by the substance next round. corey, do you ever think that you get miranda july and kristen schaal by being in the placebo group in the substance medical trial? what? corey, do you ever think that you get miranda july and kristen schaal by being in the placebo group of the substance trial?
32:58 what do you mean get it? get? like how did that's how they are arrive on earth? that's how you end up with two of the same individual? miranda july and kristen schaal. kristen schaal. kristen schaal. you think they're the same person? they got a certain similar visage. right down to the haircut bro. interesting. don't they look alike don't hit me with that interesting dot dot dot. i don't think they look alike. come on man librarian pull that up man.
33:34 they do look similar. they do look alike. i just checked. i guess they look alike. he's right. i gotta look up miranda july again. thank you for saying i have 98% success rate on barstool face morphs and people are literally like questioning my face blindness. it's so crazy. i see the hair comparison, but that's really it.
34:00 they got big eyes. they're a little quirked up. they got indie quirk. she doesn't really, miranda july doesn't really have big eyes. she's got really high cheekbones. oh, i see. i think it's what happened. like if miranda july took the substance thinking that it was the substance, but she was actually in the placebo group, kristen schaal would have popped out. yeti, you're not shadowbanned, but you have been restricted as a suspicious user.
34:25 what happened? is it like you probably got banned from so many chats that now they just assume when you talk you're gonna be banned? like only you can see my messages? is that true yeti? mods, only mods and yeti. oh only mods and streamers. that's so crazy. good plays, kory. good plays. you're telling me that the chat can't see what yeti's saying.
34:56 he did get promoted with the streamer. all their messages get highlighted with like a three pixel border around. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's so it's like a soft vip. oh. how long is the average counter strike match take? i think too long. no, i was gonna say i might take a break because i got to go feed the cats before we do this. damn it. it kind of sucks having to mute your teammates.
35:36 only we'd started 14 minutes earlier. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i woke up and you're like, i'll see ya. so it's like, ah, fuck. if i may, you could have just said do one without me. cause like the social play here was really tough. i mean, honestly it was like, it was a clutch up social play. i got an i'd play message at 9 0 2. i've replied and said that this is me checking one angle. are you around or you need a minute?
36:01 17 minutes till the next reply. yeah. and then after 17 minutes, the reply was i need a minute. and then a second later you said, actually, i need five minutes. that's a social flash. so flash. fucking bro. you competitive. and if we get, uh, if it takes too long, we just fucking quit. add cash. nope. i don't want to learn a new map. and then you say it's an old map. and then i say, it's new to me. there you go. let's we speed ran the rest of the conversation.
36:38 case me? no, gambling is bad unless it's in the video game. you don't understand, there are no maps in counter strike. there are literally just angles. i don't need to know a new map. i don't need to learn a smoke lineup. i just need to put one more angle on the mirage. take an angle off of inferno and pop it on the dust too. your one pick swing away from the diamonds? literally that's the ideal place to stop gambling. don't make me say it again. you already know what i'm gonna say. i'm gonna say i'm the type of beast that turns back after i find the diamonds.
37:09 until i find that rolex in the sand, i'll be happy. until that solid gold is in my hands, you will be stopping all your office a phone. you know what the fuck i'm talking about? you think we got bob balaban and ian holm from the substance placebo trial?
37:37 you're real for that shit. you're real for saying that shit. i don't think they look as alike as kristen schaal and miranda july, but i'm not gonna say the one's not evocative of the other motherfucker, okay? is competitive where you go to play when you have a chromebook? like why is this taking so long? dude, who ak competitive warm up? okay, motherfucker. yeti, i've got horrible news.
37:58 magresta said, this reply cannot, this message cannot be replied to when they tried to reply to your message. i think you've literally been like un persons. ghibli, where were you when yeti got banned from so many chats? they got literally shadow banned from twitch and only mods and streamers can see their messages. i can see yeti typing right now. they them yeti? what? bro, they're only 19. there's still time. who's next? ghibli, i'm a fucking demon now, by the way.
38:30 i'm a fucking mess. damn. 31166333. that's kind of angel numbers, y'all. make a wish. have you ever made out in dark hallways? just place the kiss that made the grade. hey! whoa! i'm a little mad. we were a little late on the rotates there, but that's life. bro, we won round one. what are you doing with the fuck ass pistol?
39:06 full fucking save round two after a win? like are you trolling? they know less about the economy than fucking ben bernanke, bro. that is warren buffett getting his mcdonald's. fucking negative flex or reverse flexing motherfucker. i bet you give me the patience of the mcdonald's drive through worker that has to deal with warren buffett not getting the sausage mcmuffin combo on days where the market is red. yes, yes, yes sir, mr. buffett, yes sir.
39:37 yeah, i know. no drink, no hash brown today. the market's red. you know he's going through that drive thru. he's making jokes like, uh, hey, i lost 136 billion dollars today. literally. probably just bought us a minute and a half just by doing that. what'd you drop, bro? the eagle? i'll peek. sometimes you just gotta swag up. what if though? honestly, playing like a fucking cracked out uncle might be a little bit of an aura buff.
40:19 my neighbor did the warren buffett to me. i was chilling on my balcony. he came out, told me he had 600k in crypto and escrow in escrow. like for what? why is it? i just don't understand. why is it an escrow? like, is he getting divorced or something? maybe he was trying to buy a foot long sweet onion chicken teriyaki. we got to get this homie a knife, bro. we got to get universal pharma care. we got to get you guys dental knife is the least of our worries right now, man.
40:57 we gotta get you guys set up with the company employee benefits package so if you have a horrible accident you're covered by long term illness, man. we gotta get you guys a cozy game where you play as a witch trying to solve a fucking mystery in the alps or whatever, right? with a fat ass. i really like, out of all the ad libs from the cs2 stream with kory, i really like
41:21 generals gathered in their masses just like witches with fat asses faded sometimes you just gotta... sometimes... touch the swag swag up, swag up let's do this i'm telling you nova rushdown banana is the way to play bro it forces confidence it forces you to be confident i'm playing it like call of duty but... hey maybe that's a secret maybe i need controller all i buy is nova and op that's it
42:10 i'm twice the damage of anyone else on my team, man. steam controller? nah, man. you won't catch me flying first class or paying 140 bucks for a controller. that's crazy. fuck. fuck, i could have hurt myself. oh, wow. steps. imagine. they're so close, bro. don't shoot me. i'm gonna peek. just... i should have played with more confidence. true. i should have played with more confidence. this is cinema.
43:16 why? why? you know i'm going that way, right? like... what the fuck? can i... can i... can i kick our teammate that threw that molly and fucked up our whole momentum? chivvie, look at this person in my chat that said, why are you rushing with an awp? young people used to have the reputation of being the demographic in society that had fun at all costs. and now they're doing some shit like the youtube video said you can't do that. the youtube video said that that's a bad ev play.
43:57 what happened to our nation's youth, man? it's sad. sports betting. it might be sports betting. maybe monetizing gaming is where it all went wrong. where's that? where's the ad button? it's objectively a bad and dumb play. dude, you have the arc raiders badge. that's a bad and dumb game. i said what i fucking said. oh shit, they love it. if you said that shit in december, people would have sent you death threats.
44:25 but in may, oh, the truth comes out. two ops, two rounds in a row is something. what is the youtube video have to say about that? is this suboptimal strategy? most optimal strategy, have fun so you enjoy the game. let's do this chums. they don't know that i'm gonna leave. buy menu no mag7? bro, we're on t side, you're not in nowhere. sorry, i'm vibe watching. literally, you have nothing to apologize for. mag7 is crazy though.
44:57 it literally looks like you load a jj bean cold brew quart into the bottom of it for the ammo. i've been there, man. i've been there. well, it's a good, honestly, good try. good try. worst part about this is now they're going to think that i'm quitting because we're losing. i'm literally quitting because they're playing too fucking slow for me to finish on time. his brain will imprint where he last saw me. okay. that honestly, he's a ghost. it just makes me so mad when i, oh, all right.
45:38 guy on a date with no money. yeah, we'll start with the water and can we get the check? wait, that's so much better than subway. you actually fucking cleared the subway joke so easily. that sounds like it's from an albert brooks movie.
45:51 you know, my chat was talking about this game saying that ryan's gonna talk too much and gonna scare all the birds away. wait, is that part of it? i don't know if that's how it works or not, but you know, it's possible. was it in game voice? y'all ever played red dead redemption 2? little bit. ooh, did you want john marston and arthur morgan to kiss each other?
46:20 no, i fell asleep playing it several times and i stopped playing it. what?! this thing you saw? this is a mockup! oh dude, your head bro! what the hell? ewwww dude! wait, can i sit on it? oh yeah. oh yeah.
46:38 bouncing on it in a way that has kory on top of me. i'm sorry, i was unmuted in discord and they were all different. i was getting awkward. you're in the party! you're in the party. i'm literally stuck right now. can someone get kory off? oh, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i didn't know. okay, i didn't know. my bad. ryan, is your microphone working? yeah, we can't hear you. we cannot hear you. hello? not to be... it kind of does look like you have nipples, yeah. nobody's nipples are that big. i've been muted for four minutes. i've been muted for four minutes.
47:08 oh my god, why are they so expensive? i know i was trying to flex on everyone by buying a hat, but i couldn't afford it. d'oh! wait, what can i do? oh my god. i watched you change. what the hell just happened, man? you look so sad. i'm scary. no, i'm just so happy that i'm looking at birds. you look so sad. i've been looking at birds all day. i'm just... oh. oh wow. oh, i need money for a shirt. you look fucked up, bro. you okay? i'm tired. do you need to take me to the emergency room?
47:39 nah, that's dude. that's how your eyes get off the you've been off in all day 100% okay, and then i don't know if the birds like actually gets it shut up. oh, i'm snapping. oh my god. i got it. i got it. oh my god
48:05 just have to grateful and then you run it back, and you get some money for it right yeah, it's pokemon snap rules, baby oh shit oh can you develop your photos here yeah, man dude rich man the best part of video games is when you get a grade damn
48:32 i'm gonna be the best at this. i'm gonna be the best at this.
48:37 oh my god, why are you there? i'm kicking him out. i'm kicking it out, dude. what's the problem? you scared the swan away. bro, i'm literally looking at the fucking swan right now. oh my god. what the fuck? do they actually respond? i think if you have a whistle, maybe. the zoom only goes to 2x or 4x on this shitty default camera. shit, i got a fucking good one.
49:06 i did.
49:27 motherfucker man
49:48 who's going around scaring all the damn birds? you're doing that! you're scaring all the birds! how so? how so? you've just been talking the whole time. which i know is our job, but you know, we have to get the shot occasionally too. do they really get ang i got a shiny bird! oh fuck! ryan, i heard you got two birds in one photo. what are you, a stone? okay, that's pretty good. yeah? how do you feel about this shit right here? yo.
50:20 yo, speak on that king. how'd you get that? cost me three grand. you guys want a calliope hummingbird? yeah, i'll get a very thrush whistle. okay, okay. you got the right audience for that joke. yeah, i need like 20x zoom on this crap. dude, we're literally just farming. just take shots of the birds that are flying through the air, 100 bucks each, get up to 12x zoom.
50:51 in 10 minutes they're gonna be like, how did you get so much money? like how is your camera so good? oh my god, i'm literally rich. ryan, this is insane. ryan, i'm just gonna be like two grand in like 10 20 seconds.
51:17 what he's beating our strap i actually playing the game thanks all of my photos are worth ten bucks, bro we're polluting the market is this the hot sauce i'm buying again, there's a flock no where oh my god. they were worth a dollar each i
51:46 how many people can stack? can we stack like 10 people? oh you can stack on me. oh yo! yo! nice. the way to get the angles? okay, what if you walk? wait, do you think we can get into an r rated movie if we put a trench coat over us? yep! maybe. yes! i'm here! but is this the angle strat? i don't know. oh, i'm seeing it on your head! wait, it works! yo, let's go! i can actually move this time. oh shit! oh my god! i'm out of film! yeah, i gotta go. i gotta go get some.
52:15 i saw that mkbhd reviewed the third zoom upgrade recently, it's pretty cool. i liked it, i thought it was good, i thought it was a good joke. yeah, i'm not covering my mouth right now, it's good. it's landing! it's landing! oh my god.
52:39 get out the shot i need to see the but i need to see the but tms spotted chiblee's show me your but yes hey hey get a room i think it's gonna attack me bro why is it eyeing me up i need 13k to upgrade my camera yeah sure just yell
53:09 crows out in the marsh yelling about economic conditions. scared the damn swan away, man. keep it down please. it's fucking the mountain from the machi koro box art, bro. my god. my god.
53:45 okay, that was kind of awesome. did he eat my damn seeds, man? he's a name trainer. oh, sorry! sorry! sorry! oh my god, i think i see it. it's an ugly duckling. what the fuck? oh, look. oh, it's a beautiful swan. it's a beautiful swan. wow, what are the odds? what's your zoom percentage? six.
54:14 oh you gotta up that before you become part of my heist. what the hell? what's yours? 12. here get on my head. yeah we've done this. oh you got okay jump on my head, jump on my head kate. you got on the roof? yeah. i'm not even kidding. you saw there's cigars and photos of naked women on the roof oh no! you know pterodactyl sauce with the pee guys? that's not normal. insane right?
54:41 are you serious? oh, chib made it. chib made it. let's go. okay. wait, there's like... i can't move at all. crazy shit up here, guys. oh no! i'm not trolling. i'm so touched. i'm gonna be really all... it's just a roof. what the fuck? dude, there is a naked lady up here, dude. what's chiblee doing?
55:05 needs to put down here
55:26 dude, this is your scam. i spent all of my money on seeds and nothing showed up. papa, i felt like papa that made the hamburgers. thanks, youssoung. oh, no problem everyone. i don't mind being the only one down here. oh, thanks, youssoung. thank you. donald trump, donald trump in the river. ghibli and splash it, ghibli and splash it.
55:55 i love the bevels, i love the bevels. he's gotten too good at it. they're snorting me, they're snorting me, i hope it's in the cat. oh shit. bubble bubble bath, bubble bubble bath. that's a dollar right there. i feel so bad for you, yeti, like you just... if i don't acknowledge your message, it's like, who will?
56:28 there are those who can climb the rock and those who cannot. yeah, three of us just failed. i jumped for the beef. look, there's some of us that are on the right ceiling. dude, i met the jump for the beef guy. holy crap. shiny bird. we were on the same team for a minecraft event and i was like, you're the jump for the beef guy! ryan? ryan. ryan.
56:57 jump on my head. did it work? no no no, jump again, jump again. oh! bouncing on it in a way that makes friends. when i jumped on giga's head she stood up and it launched me like 30 feet in the air. oh! wait, wait, wait, wait, the double bounce.
57:17 oh, you squatted me down. it was close, it was close. let me see if i can, hold on, hold on. how did you get on there? whoa, whoa. whoa, it worked. okay, okay, here's the strat, here's the strat. i explain, i explain. person approaching your head, you jump and then you extend, okay? so you're extending adam midair.
57:39 yeah. oh my god. oh my god. yeah, there we go. someone bounce on me. someone bounce on me. i can't get it to work. kory's bald head is too flat. wait, geek is op. geek is op. i'm telling you. i'm telling you. oh, i think i lost sibley. i think i lost sibley. dude. kory, do better.
58:06 i'm gonna try hit a photo while i'm up there. this sucks, man. i can't do it. you gotta look up in a non weird way and you just gotta like jump and then extend. okay. you do it on me, on me, on me. almost, almost. am i just meant to be spam jumping as the top? yeah, as the top? excuse you! oh, okay, okay, wait, that was good, that was good. oh, sorry. it's really, it's quite hard. what?
58:34 ohhh! i'm spamming jump, i'm spamming jump. honestly, i just want to make my top happy. oh, i'm doing it, kory! i'm doing it! i'm doing it! i've noticed on the new one, you got a big one, yeah, you got a big one. i'm doing it, kory! i got the camera deployed. i'm doing it, kory! i'm not going very high. that was a good one, that was a good one.
59:01 like one of one though, like let's try like stack it. yes okay so what do you do you like jump in well we should all crouch we should all crouch that somebody's got to get on you stay crouched you jump and then you uncrouch while you're about to hit the person oh
59:29 oh no most of the time but every now and then it does sound like you're calling into like a sports radio talk show or something really? what the fuck?
59:56 oh, you just sent him. i have phase three. on to their tower? oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah. send me up, send me up, beam me up. phase up. oh, the tower has fallen. oh, okay, the tower has fallen. oh, wait, you got the attack. i'm getting some good launches. yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm gonna go sell my crap real quick. if we can do it consistently. oh my god! holy shit!
1:00:22 holy... some bird cheering us on too. maybe we send someone up and they just take pictures of everything that's flying and they just farm it, you know? this is our project hail mary. she's still yapping over there.
1:00:39 is he talking to himself? yeah, i think so. it's okay. oh, oh i sent you! you sent me. whoa! that's one of the highest i've ever seen! world record? okay, okay. come on man. if we're looking for new stars we should check out the uh independent spirit award. what'd that mean?
1:01:09 he's trying to woo ryan. i'm not trying to woo him. i think it brings him into the area, because i got an achievement for feeding a bird with seeds, but that thing did not eat my seeds, man. oh my god, do you guys have highlight birds on your binoculars? yes. no. holy shit. i haven't used my binoculars yet. i feel like i just stepped into cerebro.
1:01:34 wait, i have a new strat for how to get into first place, chiblee. i'm gonna buy the binoculars that highlight shinies and then we just rush the shinies every time. what do you mean there's places? what the fuck? they fucking hurt. oh, it's seven. are there places? there's no places. damn, there's a bird up here.
1:02:01 i just don't say i look like train. i look like train when i play this. did you smoke that whistle? yeah, i'm shmaking the whistle, ghibli. loud, loud, loud. loud sound, loud sound. you fly loud. loud, loud, loud. who? who?
1:02:31 bro loves the world health organization. well, right now. yeah, we kind of need him now. i'm hoping they're doing something right now. yeah, yeah. we got new area. we got new area. i need to get to seven grand first. oh my god, i'm actually getting all those stars. 29 of the exact same photo. kate, kate, i've got the greatest money making strategy of all time. follow me.
1:03:02 oh my god, she's doing it now. i gotta come up with something. oh fuck. motherfucker. no. okay, watch this. upgrade binoculars. highlight shinies only. holy cow. and then... none shinies yet. you need to deactivate highlight all birds. it literally said it only works if highlight all birds is active. you're not a ball nower.
1:03:50 you deactivated it on accident? first off, it's by accident. secondly, are you willing to bet your life on it? how much have you ever lost on a coin toss? grungus. grungus, i'm remembering your name. when i get to the shop and it says that it's active, you're betting your life on this. just so you know, you're betting your life on this. highlight shinies. active. it's active. now you're going to say click it. watch what happens when you click it. disabled, bro. disabled. grungus. what do you have to say for yourself?
1:04:19 dog, i think you deactivated it, goat. you deactivated it by accident. dog, you deactivated the shiny highlight by accident. grumguss? i'm looking at every message you've ever written. grumguss. they're not gonna make an alt account, they have prime associated with this account. grumguss, type something. type something, grumguss! someone beside me? did you hear that? the fuck did grumguss do, dude? dude, bro, he told me that highlight shinies was off. and then i went and i proved that it was fucking on, and he's saying, no, i saw it, it was off.
1:04:59 uh, um... is it off? cause mine was. no shot. it's um... no fucking shot. they don't spawn very often. they don't spawn often, it's a thing. so like... i think you're right, dude. i'm tweaking, man. fuck that guy. when the shinies come back... don't say that about my chatter. when the shinies come back, we're gonna feast, bro. what, what, what? what? come here! right! this way, that way! that way! oh, fuck! you see it? yes!
1:05:33 bro, they're poi it's got honey coming off of it! i'm rushing, i'm rushing, i'm rushing! alright, i'll keep it in sight. you're all close flank on the other angle. oh wait, oh, it just got off! there's another one blocking, bro. once all the attention is actually pissing me off. it's a rare shiny, too. get in there, dude, get a splash in. oh god! scared me. we gotta get it flying, too. we're fucking rich.
1:06:05 dude, i just landed some legendary shots for hotel attenborough. i'm not even gonna get the bbc on the line bro. holy shit. holy shit. okay, let's see. let's see if this is even worth it. whoa! 200! that was worth 300 bucks! i made i farmed like three grand off of that beast right there. what does this say? i'm following you, geezer. oh, the real spirit of burning. do you hear that? did chiblee die and then... he's in the machine now? i don't care about that.
1:06:46 are you hearing this? no, no, it's not gone. it's on the top of the mountain. can you get up there? chiblee, what is going on? i think you turned into a bird, man. you were like in my head. what is that sound? chiblee's going major kuzanagi mode.
1:07:20 motherfucker. no, shinies are gone i think. what is this thing? that's not me. that's not you? it sounds so much like you being confused.
1:07:48 it sounds exactly like a confused ghibli. it sounds like you going, hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello?
1:08:19 that's kinda nice the dev is in my chat and told me to buy this bird call and then it's their voice oh man that's good sounds like chiblee erotic dude i'm saying we should release some wild cats into this area
1:08:46 see what happens. see who wins. shiny shiny common bird! shiny shiny! marsh, one in the marshland. oh right right right! i'm going in. running, rushing, i'm pushing. i'm holding a. i'm pushing a. guys guys guys! i need bird! landing water landing water! it landed it landed! okay there he is. fucking legendary one. right in front of this bro. in case trennies distract us.
1:09:29 thank you so much. what? still there. still there. nah, she's trying to get me off my grind, bro. oh, shit! yeah, we're at the shiny. brush him. on the pier, on the pier. oh, i got him doing the head tilt.
1:10:20 oh i got the back shot. show me that back side yeah. yeah. fly! beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! oh my god. oh my god. it's gonna be exhilarating! oh my god. ryan do you want to go birding? dude this might be awesome. this might. i don't know if you guys have done irl streams but this might be the one. oh shit. we should rip like 50 crates right now. it feels incredible. dude!
1:10:52 i only got a bunch of 1 stars man that fight sucked. it played like a whole song for me. 992 2 star back. that shit flew into you. it's on you bro, it's on you. it's on your head, it's on your head. oh it loves you. it's beautiful. it's gonna steal him bro. it pooped on you, it took a huge shit on you. it took a huge shit on you. oh my god. who the shit?
1:11:21 okay, watch this. i think i've invented new tech, okay? okay. watch this. okay, wait a second. can you get off the top of the bird, please? fuck it. i'll use your head. okay, watch this. did you see that? you jump? yeah. you literally get extra hang time. i didn't notice you had a vertical mouth before. i look up, there's two new birds. where are they? in the sky.
1:11:58 bro's mad about seeing birds in the sky. bro, they fly. that's where they live. how's it going, y'all? did you call yourself zaiwoo today? no, i thought about it, but i didn't know how to say it. i forgot about the pronunciation. i did see some people calling me zaiwoo. yeah, you say i'm going zaiwoo mode, and then if you save an awp, you say, jame time. jame time.
1:12:27 i did invent a new thing. on nuke i was the last one left with an awp, so i just threw it in the vents and then went up and died heaven. denied, it's called awp denial. can i be real with you? i don't know what any of you are talking about, so it just kinda sounds like, oh i went sklorp on my 47 today and it was so cool. yeah we went sklorp on our 40 cent dude, i'm not even kidding.
1:12:53 damn, it's two o'clock. i know mandated two hours of friend's love. i know now i don't have to pretend to like you guys anymore. i'm just playing how many stars do you have to believe how can you tell press g and then at the very home it says out of 780. oh shit. okay. what do you have? what do you have? okay, you go first. no you go first. oh
1:13:22 chibilly goes first. chibilly goes first. 134. oh no! okay, okay, you saw? you saw? okay, no joking, you can even look at my stream. 183. oh shit. i have 183. i have 166. really? whoa! you got bird mugged, dude! so it's chibilly, ryan, me and yoosungtide, and giga, then kory. did i just say something? yo. i have 232.
1:13:48 i just hit 240. wow! holy shit! high fives, high fives giga. that very crush got me dude. high five. what the fuck have i been doing? i'll jump on dust 2 right now 1v1 then. okay, come on let's go. gg's man. it's gg's. gg's. hello? hello? gg. gg. gg. gg. gg's man. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's. gg's
1:14:17 wait, you get 10 bucks per friend? we could have been farming right from the start. just stack us all up. oh shit, god damn it. 4 friends per friend. that's 120 bucks a roll, bro! oh my god. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. they hate it. no, it's just 10. they hate it. yeah, it was just 10.
1:14:42 i hope that didn't sound as bad for them as it did for me at the end there. um, i hope you've enjoyed this stream today. i will be back tomorrow. holy shit, tomorrow's friday, man. see you then! yeti, you gotta figure this out, man! you've been restricted! later! just don't start the singing, then you can't stop. so true. when you were young, you were the king of austin powers.
1:15:08 and now you kidnap nigel powers as his foe to get the man of mystery to show this is the room one afternoon where fat bastard ate you
1:15:26 and how felicity shagwell shagged him real well to place a homing device where no one dared to dwell