five midorima squad - Bits and Banter [05⧸19⧸2026]

Name: five midorima squad - Bits and Banter [05⧸19⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-22
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "five midorima squad - Bits and Banter [05⧸19⧸2026]" — 194 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-22

Watch on YouTube ↗ Latest videos

194 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 who's the best michael in music out of all of them? jackson or mcdonald? that's a crazy question. i mean, i like michael mcdonald more than anybody. maybe not more than like, you know, your aunt. but michael jackson's kind of in the world of music and music alone. and also dancing. he's pretty good. he was the king of pop, so true. best michael in general? the angel?
0:29 the angel john travolta played in the 1996 movie? he's in immediately with dan talk. we're back. what do you mean by that? i don't know what your username is because i have streamer mode on. what do you mean by that in the discord? you were typing a lot less than 30 seconds ago. cat got your tongue?
0:46 it's like you're taking longer to type than the person in the peloton discord who was rooting for the sabers and they were like why doesn't anybody around me root for the sabers and then i said where do you live and i swear they were typing for like 90 seconds straight and i was they typed for so long that i got to interrupt them with a here it comes because i knew that she was not going to say buffalo
1:10 buffalo does not take 90 seconds to type. they were typing some shit like, well, my parents rooted for the sabres and then i moved across the country and blah, blah, blah. just put the columbus in the bag, bro. lemme took your advice, unc. you started shooting threes?
1:25 from the logo. damn, a logo three. any chance basketball will one day be ruined when somebody gets insNLy good at shooting the ball from the throw in? like in a hundred years you can't tell me there's not going to be like a team full of basketball players that just get the ball on the throw in and then shoot a three from like 117 yards away.
1:49 4.5 stars for past lives. it's a little odd because i feel like me and my gf are nora and jung hae sung. so like while i was able to connect to a certain extent, it felt like i thankfully couldn't fully connect. yeah, okay, but that's like a review of your life, yeti. what do you think of the fucking movie? i didn't say shit about the damn movie, man. you just listed two characters and then said this is me.
2:09 past lives is mad, don't kill me. yeah it's mad, it's not as good as chainsaw man. seeing a lot of people reviewing french cinema, giving like a three and a half stars to uh, clio from five to seven and then giving four and a half stars to the chainsaw man movie that hit theaters last year. it's a certain phenotype i say, let's play some rune dice man. yeti was 16% of ricky's chat yesterday, i blame you. yeah stop uh, assuming that i'm a main character in ricky's life.
2:35 ricky left a banger five star review of mishima a life in four parts with the top comment is like i'm so glad you and nl are watching more kino bro. this is ricky's review
2:46 fucking leave my name out of your mouth even if you are being nice. this rick ricky left a thoughtful review and you're like i'm so glad you and nl are watching kino. come on, man. and then you were harping on me for not watching cure. i'm like why don't you tell ricky you enjoyed his review of mishima life in four parts instead of talking about how i haven't watched cure yet. like i'm not saying ricky's gonna be mad at you but it's just kind of like a crazy thing to write in someone else's comment, man.
3:13 wait, wait. sad eyed lady of the lowlands cadence, okay? with your round bottom jeans. no, this is not gonna work, man. not a real blonde on blonde enjoyer. yeti, i like sad eyed lady of the lowlands. it's just that he sings so fucking slow that to get through like 150 words is gonna take an hour and a half. what is he talking about when he says your warehouse hides my arabian drums?
3:42 i think he was doing mad libs at that point. it's an amazing song, it's pretty good, it's no visions of johanna. lord forgive me, i'm about to go back to the old me guy who plays roguelikes that are good. this is rune dice. for anybody who didn't see rune dice when we played the demo, i discovered the demo thanks to watching twitch.tv slash rikipcock play it. it's like a dice rolling deck builder.
4:06 pardon me. i burped in the middle of the spiel, but also you flick the dice. so there's almost like a peggle physics driven aspect to it. so if like two dice of equal values combined they become incremented by one and then reroll again or pop maybe not reroll but they can at least crash into other dice you can get combos going. it has like a bejeweled thing you're gonna figure it out man. we're gonna start as john wick blade. i think it came out. i
4:33 today, i think it came out this morning. another generic rogue lite, let's go. nemdrem, any last words before you get banned? i'm not banning you for saying the game is generic. i'm banning you because a, you're a vibes terrorist and we don't negotiate with vibes terrorists. b, we've been playing the game for an eighth of a second. you literally just looked, we haven't even interfaced with the main gameplay loop yet. and you wanted attention. so all three conditions have been fulfilled. your only defense is to type the country that you're from. do it right now.
5:03 and if it's not, like if it's canada, if you live in canada, the united states, fucking make something up buddy. make something up because that's not gonna fly here. they're talking about testicular torsion. i don't know if that's not... i'm from canada? oh brother. alright.
5:23 oh, you can't retype it like that. it's a beautiful day. it's may. we just finished the long weekend. like what's wrong with you, man? get your life in order. so kind of attitude you'd be bringing with your first chat message after maybe arguably the best long weekend of the year just because it happens when the weather is just... and montreal just beat buffalo in game seven overtime? you got to fix yourself, man. that's crazy.
5:47 who would you pick to drop a fire verse over this? i mean, can i be honest? this beat has a little bus driver flow to it. and i mean that both as a positive and as a negative. it's got a certain eastern european go go bordello thing going on, but certainly i think if you wrapped over top of it, it might be a little corny as well. what determines the path of the dice after the first hit? the path of the righteous dice is beset on all sides by the inequities of evil men. but also,
6:15 it bounces towards the closest die of the same value. so if we hit this, if we were to hit like off the wall here, it probably bounces to that one because it's a two and then to this one because it's a three and then it tries to get to the four and probably fails. but if we hit this one, then it goes to the one to the two to the three and then maybe to the four. let's see what is this anyway? upgrades one of your dice. holy cow, man. it's that easy. not a joke.
6:51 someone said this guy always chooses one of three or something librarian can probably find it librarian your talents are better served not doing a fetch quest for such low xp if i may say so myself that's we don't need to be doing that. you know librarian watch ye ye my xp bar low well, you got to be like one kill away from leveling up because you watch ye ye this weekend, right? it's like three hours and 15 minutes long
7:20 you can't be, i know you're getting the same whiplash i'm getting which is like interfacing with like real culture and then going crawling back into the the brackish pool of twitch chat and then people are like you know he said the word cum which is also analogous to semen you know like it's it's a crazy whiplash it takes a couple hours to get back into it to be honest with you.
7:44 because you're out here, you're watching edward yang movies on the weekend and they're watching like csgo majors or something like that. if you see the level of discourse that goes on in like a cs major chat, holy cow man. and what's crazy is that you guys are like typing a huge game in chat right now. i bet you can't say pussy without stuttering irl. i bet it kind of hurts you to hear. i bet it like literally cost you three hp and made you vulnerable when the word hit your ears.
8:14 so you saying it is like in a different world, like that's unfathomable but... what are you saying is weird here, magresta? oh, okay. well, it's not for me to comment. that's for that's not for you, bud. move along. i scrolled up and then went, you know what? learn to sit back and observe. not everything needs a reaction.
8:38 hey NL, what's with all the renewed attention on the ford brothers i'm seeing in documentaries? well the one fella, he's still the premier of our biggest province man. biggest by, sorry to my quebecois viewers, biggest by population not biggest by land area. although if we're being honest, and i'm not anti cobec, i'm the most pro cobec streamer you'll ever see in your entire life even though i'm not from poix rivière.
8:59 labrador's pulling a lot of... it's doing a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to the biggest province in canada, metric. you adore trois rivières? come see, come saw. come see, come saw. played poker with some guys from vancouver. you should have seen the fear in their eyes when i hit them with the vancouver or richmond question.
9:21 yet only only locals are supposed to know the alt, okay? when she says she's from vancouver but then on the first date she wants to meet at metro town, something doesn't make sense, okay? something doesn't make sense. you had vancouver in your profile, why we eating at the crystal mall? it doesn't make sense. something does not compute, bro. how about a, how about ones into twos into threes, not ones.
9:48 ones into two, no ones into twos into threes into this four. this would be a crazy fucking shot, bro. it fucking works. might actually be your fucking god man. it's crazy to me. i didn't know and i'm not saying it's a bad game. i didn't know peglan had so many shooters.
10:11 now you may say in retrospect that you knew this going into it, that it's a self aware joke, but we both know you're lying to me and you're lying to yourself. the light of your spirit is shining varnished through a polarized lens of your own creation. hey, you can't be saying, isn't this just peglin? because peglin is just pegel, bro. it's just pegel. it's derivative even in name, in nomenclature. it's a rose by any other name.
10:38 what about a sports game where you're a fan and wait, that's not a bad idea. microphone activated sports game where you're the fan. and if you use your fan abilities at the right time, you can actually affect the game. like if your team's on the power play and your alt is yelling shoot, you can actually give like a plus 50% chance for your team to score on the power play. that could be awesome.
11:05 for like a minute and a half or whatever but still like it's an interesting idea five minute games can be 50 hour games if executed correctly 100% man 100% conversely
11:16 look at something like directive 80 20. it's been a week since it came out, it's still pissing me off. they need to, whoever i understand in a broad abstract sense, i understand the market pressures that they're under and it looks bad to be releasing a game for $60 that's three hours long, but it would be so good.
11:35 be so much better if it was three hours long and didn't have two hours of stupid door puzzles and hide and seek that didn't matter at all. if it just had the movie stuff, would it be farming negative steam reviews that are like, well, it's 80 bucks and it's only two hours long? possibly, but still it would be so much better. thank you.
11:56 i don't think this will work and i think this will fizzle out into nothingness. i think first ones into ones into twos, you bounce out of the way towards this three and then next term we have an easy collision. i'm thinking two turns ahead like fucking magnus carlsen, bro.
12:11 magnus sees more than two moves ahead. okay, how many moves ahead? did he see you on day one of chess coming out in the year fucking negative 30,000 or whatever when i'm sure bonnie paul was still running these streets. when i'll share bonnie paul was still spinning the fucking block. how many moves ahead could he see? not too many, right? not too fucking many would be my guess.
12:31 he was putting motherfuckers heads on stakes. i'm gonna say asher bonney paul, not a good dude. not a good dude. at least, listen, i only know what dan carlin's told me about him.
12:42 the old assyrian leader from the, i don't know, second millennium bc. what about hammurabi? i honestly think hammurabi gets a bad rap from what i know about him, which is very little, mostly just the code. here's the thing, people say that the code is barbaric. it's not barbaric. if somebody plucks out your fucking eye and you pluck out their eye, that's actually too fucking fair because that's equal. there should be a second
13:11 order effect for the first person who plucked out the eye because you pulled out the eye for before i slighted you at all so for me i don't think it's really fucking fair that you poked out my eye and now i poke out your eye because i would rather have two eyes than have you also, have one eye like me if you pluck out one of my eyes i should be able to take like an eye and an ear or something like that and
13:36 because you get something for starting it. i know this is like you're going to cite your middle school principal, it doesn't matter who started it. the zero tolerance era of scholastic institutional discipline was a huge mistake and i was simmered in it my whole life. as an adult, it does not stand up to
13:55 rigor. it doesn't stand up to rigor. it matters who started. if you're minding your own business on the playground and someone sucker punches you and then you fight them, you're not equally guilty. the dude who sucker punched you deserves a stricter penalty. you deserve like a medal or something. how many times have you done the hammurabi bit? people keep ringing the bell.
14:15 usher bonipaw be a good name for a goofy dog. yeah, until that one friend is too woke comes over to your house and it's like hey, why are you why'd you name your why'd you name your dog after one of history's greatest monsters? yeah, i know they're from ancient history, bro. i know they're from like prior to the dawn of the greek empire and shit but it still doesn't make it okay. he did a lot of nasty stuff.
14:37 he was ashurbanipal, not so great. not so great, but the other time they say hard times need strong men or something. maybe ashurbanipal was the right guy for the job. i'm being booed. i'm being booed by prehistoric mesopotamian people. i'm tugging on my collar. they're getting ready to wait. i had them confused with the
14:59 which was the culture that was playing soccer but they were using people's heads and throwing it, they were shooting it through the hoop. doesn't even seem kinematically possible. as i know from jerry maguire, the human head weighs 10 pounds. how the hell were they kicking human heads through a hoop that was like 30 feet up in the air? they weren't using heads, they were using balls. i've seen the apocalypto trailer, okay?
15:30 you're gonna tell me something about the history of the mesoamerican people? how do you know asher bonney, paul? i'm sorry, i got a phd in podcasts essentially. was that picture with the jacked alien real? i don't really give a fuck about the political ramifications, but what was the alien's cardio routine? because he was fucking snatched, man. that alien was goals.
15:53 it's a genetics thing. it actually might be because the alien was jacked but it was also short. it was shorter than 45 at least which means i think according to his doctor the alien might have only been a diminutive 6'5 or something. enya or sade? i was listening to a lot of um i don't know what music you would describe this as. listening to a lot of massive attack, listening to a lot of air, listening to a little bjork this uh this weekend and coming to the conclusion wait is enya
16:23 is enya fucking good? because my whole life, all i knew about enya was in the 90s. enya did exist pre 9 11, just so you know. i think it's possible that only people from the british isles knew that in advance. but in 1998, you would be in the drugstore or something and you would hear like, the talarico flow, they call it.
16:51 and then obviously only time really, i'm not saying that they were rooting for what happened on that fateful day to happen, but that was a big day for enya. because that became like the official, unofficial anthem of the events of that fateful day. and i kind of just discounted them as living in like encased in amber as that at that one point in american history. and now i'm like coming to the realization as an adult that maybe i actually fucking like enya man.
17:19 she did the end credit song for fellowship of the ring. she did wake up. come with it now. the microphone explodes, shattering commodes. i don't think that's what he says. bull's on parade, got the chat going wild. i have devastating news. i found out that 69 love songs by the magnetic fields is 172 minutes long.
17:47 literally like the perfect length for one of my long rides. that's a fucking gimmick that i can get behind. 172 minute long, every track on the magnetic fields, magnum opus and also the worst shit they've ever done. it's the best shit and the worst shit they've ever done in the same album. all three cds. and there's some great songs on 69 love songs but there are some absolutely god awful songs on 69 love songs as well. what are the worst ones?
18:18 experimental love song is really bad love is a lot like jazz is pretty bad trying to think of i mean a whole lot of them a lot of them
18:30 punk love? i mean, compared to the first two i mentioned, punk love is okay, man. you skip him or tank it? if you're on the ride, you tank it. otherwise, you didn't do the gimmick, bro. it's like you're literally trying to do, uh, like, century club and you're like, i don't feel like taking a shot on this minute. yeah, bro, that's why you get a fucking badge for it at queen's engineering. i don't believe you's a banger? i believe you isn't on 69 love songs, nephew! it's on i!
18:56 next you're gonna be telling me about some shit from the pieces of april soundtrack. we're talking about 69 love songs! jesus christ, a lot of people are saying that stephen merritt kind of like the american jens lechman. a lot of people are saying that these days. no one said either of those names in half a century. bro, nightfall's over cordodala, easily one of the top 200 albums of the 20 of the 2000s, man. you don't like a postcard for nina?
19:24 check your gchat, there's some serious shit going on. the bread price fixing settlement just paid out. you should be 50 bucks richer today. oh shit, wait, really? i thought they settled that shit in like 2013 and we all got the $20 gift card or something. did they go back? they went back to the well. they said, uh uh, i ain't the one.
19:46 they got caught again. oh no. galen, galen, my wholesome chungus, loblaws grocery ceo, what are you doing, man? nah, tell me jimmy p's not involved in this one. tell me jim patterson's not involved in this one, man. tell me daryl from save on foods isn't involved in this one. fuck daryl? my wholesome chungus grocery mascot's running for bc conservative leader. nah, i think he pulled himself out, but at the same time,
20:16 just put the... just keep doing the save on score and win commercials, brother. just keep teasing people that live in nanaimo in nelson, british columbia that someone on the fucked up roster of the vancouver canucks is gonna score five fucking goals in one game? five goals from a single player in one game? the 2026 2027 vancouver canucks to win a million dollars? that shit is not gonna happen, bro. i don't care where you live.
20:45 now that i'm off ozempic, the leash of unholy depression, it's time to party before flying the cancun? that sounds like a james harden tweet if the cavs had lost to the pistons. wait, did we fucking... we won the game? i thought that was just the first act, man! i thought that was just the first act. by the way, don't ever say nl doesn't know shit about hoops, because that was fucking salient. what song would you put on the sufjan stevens british columbia album? i don't know, probably some shit about osoyo's for sure. probably some shit about how...
21:16 my complicated relationship with god. my intimate relationship with god becoming complicated because i think i also have a crush on my best friend who's a boy in osullo's british columbia. that could be, and it's also with like six commas, that could be a sufjan stevens track off of british columbia. by the way, imagine my surprise. i was in a bookstore in vancouver yesterday and it's a chain bookstore. i'll just fucking tell you it's indigo. they started playing the song kaput by destroyer
21:46 i'm in the kids section. they don't, it's, i'm not asking for it to be censored, but i was kind of surprised with, wasting your days chasing some girls all right chasing cocaine. it was like covering my kids ears man. nah, not really because they don't know what cocaine is, but i was a little surprised at least. broadway or robson? i have strong opinions on both. tell me your strong opinions, but i wasn't the broadway one.
22:14 staff opinions at broadway are always shit. the robson one got way better recs and way better music. well, okay. i'm not gonna say fuck the staff at the indigo on broadway because they're really good about giving me the bathroom code. i mean, which is to say they gave me the bathroom code once and then i wrote it down in my deus ex document on my phone.
22:35 so i never have to ask again. yes, the codex. i have that one in the codex for sure. that's an important part of the city to have access to a nice bathroom, to be honest with you. average american board game dice amount. you know what was crazy when i was at the bookstore? i was looking at kids versions of board games for my kid and i was like, damn, we should just be playing the kid version of everything. the child's version of every board game looks so much more fun to learn and play than the adult version.
23:05 like i was looking at the ticket to ride is a very easy to learn game. don't get me wrong, but the kids version made it even simpler and i was like, this is a dream come true. aren't board games already for children, not for fucking like little toddlers, man. their attention span is too small. i actually actually your take is pissing me off. board games are literally for like 31 year old people. baldur dash is a good see that's the thing, man.
23:32 you know, i'm watching these, well, i mean not recently, but on the airplane like a month and a half ago i watched when harry met sally. millennial couples need to watch these movies and go, that's the way it should be. you go to your friend's house, have a couple glasses of wine, maybe a budweiser, place your raids,
23:51 and then get the fuck out of there and go home. no more, hey come on over i've got this great new board game. an hour and a half of reading the rules while somebody who has never played the game asks questions about the rules. so what if i'm in my initiate phase and i have a card that i can play that gives me extra energy but the energy only becomes valid when i'm in the action phase? and then the person who's never played the game has to go,
24:15 well, i'm reading every single word of the rule book here to see if they cover that right now just because you forced the issue. it's you with mahjong? i literally won while i came second in our east game young pup try to keep up. plus two we just play catan. catan's innocent for sure. catan's kind of the goat.
24:37 catan is ass. it's an area control game disguised as a trading game. you are not meant to be the dominant board game opinion. you're meant to know this is it's actually literally better. you're meant to be an iconoclast, but for some reason they've shoved you into the center of the culture. you're meant to be an iconoclast. you're meant to be like a guy that everybody knows one of and nobody knows two of.
25:00 but now every board game guy is like that. they're like, i can't play catan because it's always too euro for me. and i'm like, what are you used to play? we used to play monopoly. we used to play used to come over and play boggle.
25:13 we used to play boggle and now all of a sudden you're bringing out some shit that's like named after a caribbean island that's like oh you won't bel the the social bluffing in this goes crazy. brother i just let's can we just play some yahtzee or something and have a conversation? i invited you over here to talk.
25:30 i wanted to figure out your values and what makes you tick. what are you interested in right now? how are your hobbies going? but we don't get to have any conversation. the only conversation we get to have is, so i'm using my equipment phase to apply a helmet to myself and then i'm going to take three steps into the dungeon of del gamore and i want to have a conversation with you. you've done this bit before. you've been breathing oxygen for years. you don't go out of style.
25:54 the implication is that if we don't let you repeat bits, you'll slime yourself. there's no implication. i'm just a guy who's been tasked with by himself. he's asking himself to talk for five hours a day. and then people who are like, can you do the bit that you do every day are like, wait, you're repeating a joke.
26:12 there's no implication, there's no lore, there's no arc, there's no reason. can somebody give me the lore drop on why he's not playing forza? can somebody tell me when the counter strike arc happened? these don't exist! these are arbitrary recontextualizations based on your viewing! they don't exist! they're not real! you're drawing boundaries around arbitrary points and saying this is a group, this is a group! i'm just saying blame the guy with the marker, okay? so blame librarian.
26:41 ricky i'll have you know, you didn't ask for this ricky by the way, welcome to chat. i told it's one of your i don't know if it's a friend or if you were worth i mean a bodacious cowboy kind of pissed me off reading your thoughts on mishima life in four parts and then seeing that the first comment was just bringing my name up not rude to me but bringing my name up for no reason in your review of peak that you watched saying i'm so glad you and nl are both getting into more keno. i didn't i
27:12 you didn't mention me in your review. why are they bringing me up in the comments then getting on my ass for having not seen cure yet? but i did and i don't know if you saw you probably saw and if letterbox comments had likes i know this shit would have gotten red at gold by now if you didn't know that those were like dramatizations of unks novels and know your ass was tweaking when king kikuchi went up in flames. i know you were like nooooooooooooooo
27:43 it got better. yeah, apparently it actually did happen irl. i don't know. i'm thinking surely we'll feel the ramification of this transgression shortly hereafter and then bros immediately getting his ass grabbed by his mom. it was a roller coaster. she was an interesting guy. i haven't read any of his work. he's an interesting guy. i'm torn on whether he would have been mentally healthier in living in the 21st century where perhaps you wouldn't have
28:13 had to repress his homosexual tendencies as much. or if he would have been like, if his body dysmorphia disorder would have gone into overdrive because of like hugh jackman's physique in the wolverine. and he would have ended up having like the worst podcast in human history on turning point usa. like i think he would have been, it would have been insane. i don't know man, i think it could go either way. he'd be japanese clavicular.
28:45 that's a bad we're saying that's a bad thing. just to be clear, we're saying this is a bad thing. okay, alright, yeah, yeah, okay, alright. scary thought. two sentence horror. his name is victor wembayama. he hasn't hit his growth spurt yet. wait, wait, wait, wait. two sentence horror. he hasn't hit his growth spurt yet. his name is victor wembayama. yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:20 low key, what if when we got the pedro pascal surgery from the materialists? like could they make him like what's to stop them from scouting? you know those viral videos of like 11 year old kids playing middle school basketball and they're like 6'5 and the
29:39 and the other kids are like swarming around. it looks like a chicago thanksgiving with al capone throwing turkeys out of the back of his car or some shit like that. but they can't do anything because the kid's 6'5", in the fifth grade or whatever. what's to stop a team from being like, hey, we're going to just give this kid the surgery? the surgery that makes him eight and a half feet tall.
30:07 fucks up your movement. they got there in the fifth grade, they got nothing to do, put them in physio. low key dakota johnson should have got with pedro pascal instead of chris evans, man. anyone else seen this movie or am i talking to nobody? i feel like an eighth of your humor is casual eugenics. i feel like the last time you got like genuine organic vitamin d might've been in the biden administration, to be honest with you. can you tell me, is that true or false? did i fucking clock you or not?
30:37 i'm not saying you're vitamin d deficient. you might be taking supplements. i'm saying the last time your cells were able to harness any from the sun. i worked the night shift. they make lamps or something. you know what? i thought maybe one time i would get... this is a very recurring story for a guy like me.
30:56 sometimes i go, i should buy something. and then i look up the effects of it and i go, i'm not buying that garbage and anybody who buys it is an asshole. it happened with espresso machines. i almost bought a steam deck and by almost bought, i went, i should get a steam deck so i could play slay this fire two on the bike. and then i looked up the price of a steam deck and i went, fuck that shit. i'm not buying a steam deck.
31:17 and then someone said why don't you get an rog asus ally instead and then i googled it and got like a reddit post that was like yeah it's not so good out of the box as a windows 11 machine but if you install if you if you fucking bootstrap this os into it then it looks almost and i went fuck you and fuck anybody who owns this and then i also saw that it's like 1700 canadian and i went fuck everybody who owns this man um
31:41 and to a lesser extent, that's how i feel about those happy lamps, the seasonal affective disorder lamps. i was like, this shit would be kind of swag living in a cloudy city. and then i saw you got to stare at that shit for half an hour a day or something like that? no, they should make a more powerful lamp that you only have to stare at for a couple of minutes, man. can't they just make it 10x or something like that? you got shit to do. adam foot fired.
32:12 probably good news. well, like here's where the vancouver canucks fandom is at. we have possibly one of the worst coaches in nhl history. this was his first year ever coaching. and he was on a horrible i mean, the team sucks to begin with. it's not like with an awesome coach, he would have he would have been a
32:29 playoff team or something like that. but our fandom is in such doldrums right now that people were like, i hope he doesn't get fired so we suck ass next year too. like people will actually be, some people at least will be a little upset that he got fired because it makes us slightly less likely to be so ass that we have a really good lottery chance next year, even though we will probably just by virtue of the talent on the roster still be really, really bad.
32:58 it does look like he has a blue bush. it does look like sean ashmore's bush. you're not wrong about that. sean ashmore is one of the... he played iceman in the x men movies in the 2000s. yeah, man, we got it. not everybody knows who sean ashmore is. i know some of you were going to say, the guy from beyond? the guy from beyond, two souls?
33:24 i'm not really super concerned about whether or not adam foote got fired because i really think like no matter what we're in for a long season next year. i was kind of pissed that patrick alveen got fired though because i saw him at london drugs once. you might say he's incompetent based on his like track record but a francesco aquellini in my opinion was making all the deals anyway and b he's
33:45 he's literally a senior citizen and i watched him work the self checkout with absolutely no snags. so i'm telling you, this dude is mentally competent to run a professional sports team. that literally has to put him above the median general manager because the bro literally scanned his own shit
34:02 said he had no bags and was able to do the checkout without the red light coming on. so i literally, you might say as a stupid reason to believe that he should run a professional sports team, but i'm telling you, there's a lot of people in positions of power that could not manage that. so i really, he gained a little bit of aura for me that time.
34:22 i gotta get the monday night football, um, well no it's the sunday night football theme song now that i think about it. i gotta get the sunday night football theme song out of my fucking head man. the fox sports one? the one that goes, we gonna let them know?
34:37 and then it's got and it's not it's not his fault. he might be a nice guy. i like him for like irrational or i don't like him for irrational reasons. but the really tall dude who looks like john fetterman, who always wears like the sweater with the blazer over top it for some reason. i think it's ok. but oh, that's thursday night football. ok. i think it's ok to have like one dude that you kind of just
35:06 hate irrational, i don't, i don't incite any like hatred or violence against him. it was just every time i see him, i'm like, fuck this guy, man. i think it's okay to have one guy like that. i'm that guy for a lot of people. i don't know what the guy, if anything, i should be the only motherfucker allowed to say it. there's so many people out there who are like, i hate this guy. i hate this guy less than the ones who, you know, want to be my friend, but
35:32 still, at least it puts me in a position of authority on the subject. how do we feel about the thermals just started re listening and it's taken me back? frag of memnon, you are in for some absolutely horrible news that you could not possibly know. so anyone in chat wanna give frag of memnon the lowdown on the thermals? and you are not gonna believe this.
36:04 i promise you, you're gonna be like, you're fucking trolling. why does this game seem so easy? because literally i have 400,000 hours in roblox. you're literally, you are watching like floyd landis get on a new bike and going like, wow, he learned how to ride this really quick. yeah, bro, he won the tour de france. he won the tour de france after lance armstrong. or it's just easy. winning the tour de france, not easy. if it's so easy, then let's see, junius.
36:34 win it this year right fellow cyclists anyone else know nothing about professional cycling but occasionally reads the articles about it on defector regardless. you're the peloton guy wouldn't you know now europeans and americans who want to be european cover your ears i don't watch or follow professional cycling because like the moment to moment action in the sport is really boring if i was gonna get into a boring european sport, i would start watching f1 because it has aura should have said soccer oh, you mean the canadian sport because of the world cup is here in like
37:03 10 minutes or something. and by the world cup, i mean like seven matches between canada, switzerland and who else is going on in our group? what do we got in our group? bosnia, bosnia, switzerland match gonna be crazy man. i can't wait. this clip is gonna go super viral when it's like an eight five victory for bosnia. people are gonna be like, how did he fucking know?
37:33 okay, this is new shit, okay? i shoot the one into the three, it combines here to become a four. it bounced my one, now we're going back to the one, bounces off of the three, hits this, becomes a two, hits this three which then becomes a four, bounces into the four that we created on the very first fucking collision. we had an awp, man, we had an awp. i'm seeing the fucking firmament though.
38:09 but cannot kill. there is no cow level bro. wait diablo enjoyer in chat? it's on the boycott list. is that true? it actually i mean it's blizzard. i shouldn't be surprised. yeah through microsoft. poe 2 patch 0.5 launching may 29th. patch 0.5? they should patch it to make it good. i've been saying that about poe for years and to be clear
38:40 poe is beloved and obviously i just don't get what makes it awesome and that's okay. but in literally in 2012, i got like beta access to poe and i was like, i love diablo 2. i bet i'll love this. i can't wait to see what the diablo 2 team is up to. and then i played it for like two hours and i was like, this shit is fucking garbage, man. this is never gonna take off.
39:10 and then it came out and everyone was like, this is amazing. and i went, yeah, that's what i thought. yeah, i heard it's really, it's from the diablo 2 team, man. it was shit in 2012 to be fair. yeah, but probably you think it's shit for way different reasons than i thought it was shit. i probably thought it was shit cuz i was like, the camera's too far away or something like that. you've probably got good balance reasons for
39:38 not appreciating it until it was patched, but i just didn't know what i was doing really. you okay, yeti? how you doing, yeti? doing all right? yeti's still in hell? no, no, purgatory. wait, we should get... that's so fucked up. imagine... what the heck? knocked over my key light, man. imagine if every day
40:09 we just picked one random chatter and sent them to yeti ville so that yeti, they could only talk to yeti.
40:21 it's like time out to ban and then the ultimate ban is exiled to yeti ville where you have to see yeti's messages and nobody but yeti can see your messages. wait, wait. this could be incredible. i've always been a fan, not of cruel punishments, but unusual punishments. everyone loves cruel and unusual together.
40:50 cruel punishments are bad. unusual punishments could be perfectly fair. they're just not typical. unusual punishments could be fun. they won't be able to see yeti's messages? oh, so that makes more sense. you're telling me that not all suspicious users can see each other's messages? any hockey viewers here? did you see philip dano's coffee order? it was kind of taking me out, man. bro got a large iced coffee with no ice.
41:19 i get that you get more coffee, but it is kind of crazy. that's normal. yeah, but like it is normal. but because it's called an iced coffee, it feels abnormal.
41:36 also, the coffee tastes better with ice. but i understand he wants more coffee. he's a professional athlete. he can do it. isn't it just more milk? well, you could tell there was no... i mean, ice... so this is an ehow article now. if you go to coffee shop and you say, give me an iced coffee, they're not going to put milk in it. you put the milk in it yourself at like a little half wall behind you.
41:57 like it would give you a half shield in xcom if you while you're putting you have a reduced chance to be hit by a sectoid while you're putting the the milk in your coffee but and this is honestly helpful tech if you've never been to a coffee shop
42:11 at some coffee shops, if you want an alternative milk in your coffee, you'll have to ask for it at the time of ordering because they may not have the alternative milk that you want at the complimentary milk section. they'll almost always have cow milk, but if you want oat milk, sometimes they're going to upcharge you like 75 cents or something like that. so you have to let them know in advance because they keep the oat milk in the back. girlfriend got charged $2 cad for oat milk last place we went to. no, man.
42:42 that's, that's, well how big was the drink? two bucks for, for oat milk is kind of crazy. it would be, it would be different if i didn't see them grab the same oat milk that i have in my house from the little fridge behind the coffee bar too.
42:58 because like it's if they would at least take it from the little court and that has all the it looks like a dr. bronner's soap bottle. if they would take it from that and pour it into like a glass carafe or something like that so when they take that out of the fridge i'm like oh this is some kind of like bespoke oat milk i've never seen before. that would be like a different story but they're kind of flicking you with that one. but then again i was thinking about it
43:24 like the decor in the coffee shop compensates for the price so much, man. i really think that if we're talking about restaurants, coffee shops are the most aura driven restaurant. the vibe in a coffee shop is more important than the vibe in any other food establishment. and actually there's i think we're in a culture right now where there's almost like a reverse flex. it's like the less
43:51 cool the restaurant is, the more primed you are to think that the food is going to be awesome now, which is very inverted from the 2010s where like every place you walked into people were wearing like black button downs and like everything had like a cool
44:06 lounge vibe to it, but also they were like you could eat half of the restaurant is sushi and that's cool. but then half of the restaurant is a little bit more like pan asian fusion over here. it's a very interesting. now people would they want to go to a sandwich where like an old italian guy goes like you want mortadella or bologna, you know? and i honestly i respect it. but the coffee shop is different. the coffee shop you want it to be like
44:34 like you want to walk in and hear like, you know what i'm saying? i go to a titty bar for lemon pepper wings. they're not, we don't call them that anymore. they're called, i got a smile on my face trying to figure out how to land the plane. we don't call them titty bars anymore. it's an exotic dance recital, okay?
45:07 there's a craft and an art involved. they're reinterpreting 80s hair metal via the power of interpretive exotic dance, okay? french police just raided the perrier bottling site. it's so crazy that i'm getting updates on this, but that's actually like, it's kind of like what it's like to watch 24 hour news, right?
45:40 you'll just be, they'll be doing a report on like a new donut shop and then at the bottom it'll be like, you know, dolphin attack at richmond pier or some shit like that with no context. and you're like, damn, i don't really, i wish there was somebody who would tell me what to think about that. if daniel plainview mee is ace, how will he have a son? you need, matt grass said, you need me to do it. i don't get that many opportunities to do this. i would actually welcome the opportunity. ace people can have sex. see, i pretty moved it.
46:14 oh shit and then you hit me with adoptions exist motherfucker. yeah. also some species in the animal kingdom can reproduce a sexually it's called parthenogenesis. also, daniel plainview is not ace on my island daniel plainview was ace in the fucking movie he's the devil.
46:40 he's a fucking, he's satan in the movie. at any point in the movie did you go, wow, this guy is definitely interested in sex. no, bro, all he cares about is money. so ace people are the devil? that's not what i said. that's not what i said. but you got me, you got me real good. i have two poison on me.
47:12 that doesn't seem good. i don't think i can hit this, because the closest two is this, which will give me two more poison, which will kill me. i think i hit this, which then hits the bomb and then possibly kills me, but let's go fucking crazy. i've hit the same one! fair enough, fair enough.
47:38 mixtape was so short. i was able to refund it after beating it, bro i don't know what like i feel like you've become a servant of the culture war i just don't know what why is everyone talking about mixtape man? what the draft y'all enlisting man? no, nobody cares. nobody cares it's a perfect nl game. alright pump the brakes. let's not go crazy let's not go crazy
48:06 it's vampire survivors? you literally attack in this game. i think that i'm not saying this to be evil to vampire survivors, but you live there are other good watch out if anything this is more like an open world binding of eyes. i can be annoying too you don't have a fucking monopoly on it. if caruso can defend wendy you can do anything. oh, but didn't they deadass lose the game?
48:32 didn't when we get 40 points? i did check uh espn.com i was kind of stunned to see that uh shy had seven points by the third quarter of the game. i was like surely this is one of those things where this is like a an app made in react where it just hasn't updated or something like that. shy? that's what i call him man. from from mario? i ate a lethal mushroom guys. when the lethal mushroom doesn't kill you?
49:14 maybe some regeneration could go hard here. i'm dead. i'm fucking dead because i ate a lethal mushroom. i'm fucking dead. that's really good. that's really good, man. fuck the mushroom build, man. never do mushroom build in this game. poi bonus. that's me in hawaii. real talk though, have you ever had poi? poi a little bit like durian in my opinion. not great.
49:44 poi better than durian. i'll stand on business on that one. is it not clocking for you that i'm standing on business? i do feel like like poi i was kind of like, i don't really get the appeal. durian i was like, they're trolling with this one. i did not say i hate foreign food. i love foreign food, like food from europe for example. it's just a durian. i honestly i mean, i believe that it's actually
50:17 really tasty if you grow up eating it, but if you're having it for the first time at age 37 i'm not i'm sorry. i'm allergic to being performative you know how easy it would have been for me to eat this durian that smelled like a gas station and say something like wow, why don't we have this where i'm from you at least know even if my opinion makes you a little upset you at least know it's coming from a place of authenticity and honesty right
50:44 like you know what white people normally say when they don't like a food? they start talking about like how many antioxidants it has in it and shit like that. you're dealing with a different kind of beast here. so true, they start talking about how good it is for your gut biome and stuff like that. they do they doobie do it, come on! cause i'm them. cause i'm them, so i know. it's your favorite foreign foodie!
51:11 white people love recycling. damn, is this how i find out i'm white? already found out i'm italian because only me and other italian people seem to tell it like it is when it comes to directive 80 20. all the north american reviewers are like, this game's awesome. all the italian reviewers are like, what the hell is this, man? italian ign gave it a five. that's literally just ign to me. and i call the other ign, ign america.
51:41 you know what's crazy? i'm farming a lot of anecdotes about going to the bookstore once. but when did bookstores go from selling books to selling mugs that say like, i love you as much as a drunk girl in a bar bathroom loves complimenting someone's outfit? i guess when people stopped buying books at the bookstore and started buying them online, then really up to their mug consumption, seeing the state of literacy. i guess i'm just happy when people read anything.
52:13 we had kind of a crash out of the bookstore though because my daughter is really interested in guinness books of world records. she already has the 2026 version so i went over to the computer to see if they had any older versions. they had a 2025 version but she didn't like it because it was too too close to the 2026 version. so i went back to the computer and i saw that they had two 2024 versions in stock
52:40 but then we couldn't find them in this section of the store that they were supposed to be in. so i had to call over a staff member and go, hey, it says you've got two copies of the 2024 guinness book of world records here. and then he went, oh, let me check that for you. like, i guess the computer doesn't get the fully updated list for some reason, even though that's what the computer is there for. and then he typed in the isbn number on his phone and then he's like, yeah, we don't have those anymore.
53:09 and he was very nice about it, don't get me wrong, but i was kind of like, well what the fuck is the computer here for? i do need to go to the library because the library fucking owns it having old guinness book of world records and ps3 games. they have a capybara farm and kamloops. kamloops? you're telling me i could drive eight hours.
53:34 either in the middle of winter across a highway that gets so bad in the wintertime discovery channel has a show based on it or in the summer when the okanagan is perpetually on fire to see some capybaras. take the jet. nah, mamdani's repossessing it, man. or something. i don't know. i don't really keep up with this stuff. i don't have a jet. would be awesome though. i bet
54:03 the best, what do you think is the best part about having a private jet? it's gotta be showing up whenever you want. like not having to show up at the airport like three hours early. second best part, i bet they make security a breeze, man. there's probably people in chat who have flown on like a corporate jet. i know some of you are like vps at a startup that's trying to finish series a funding or whatever. i almost call it series a, like the italian football league.
54:36 there's no shot. i would be very surprised if we have a billionaire in chat. that would be really surprising to me, but i bet we got at least a couple individuals with 50 million dollar plus net worth in chat right now. now that i've clocked you, it's like undercover boss. you got to be like, you got me.
54:56 because to get a 50 million dollar net worth, don't get me wrong, is rare. but like you could either win the lottery or like be college roommates with someone who ends up like creating a startup that is like does really well even though you don't even really know what it does.
55:16 you could just, the algorithm for finding a roommate in 2011 might have just placed you with someone who was like really into podcasts. and now they're making like ai generated medical software or something like that. you like the new nmix album? my wife played two of the tracks for me. i think it's really good.
55:41 and it makes always doing cool stuff in k pop. but i do, i worry that i'm becoming like a novelty merchant when it comes to k pop. i realize like basically what i determine is a good or a bad k pop song is entirely driven by like does this sound different than what i'm used to hearing? which is not a sophisticated heuristic.
56:06 like that's not to say that being novel is bad, but sometimes convention is not a negative thing. but i do think the songs are always interesting, let's put it that way. and i mean it for once as a compliment. do you guys think if you got eaten irl, you would drop health food? or maybe if people ate it, they would take poison damage. not people, but animals maybe.
56:35 my shit's poison for sure. i feel like everybody thinks their shit is poison but i bet like a lot of you, i bet a lot of you taste like kobe beef man. this game's been freaking me out though. it's been freaking me out because it's got me thinking about like you know the animal kingdom and stuff like that. i'm not talking about
56:53 in florida, i'm talking about like, you know, that we're all subjected to directly or indirectly every single day. like most of us will never have this feeling, i hope. what i'm about to say is gonna sound even crazier after what i just said. but like animals have the capacity to experience certain emotions, i suppose. if we especially assume that emotions are like an adaptive trait where we feel good things,
57:20 when we have something happen that's good for our survivability or our ability to create progeny or whatever. and bad emotions are like a secondary knock on effect of like something happening for us that reduces our fitness, right? if that's the case, getting like bitten by a fucking animal and then eaten while you're still like a third alive has to be a more negative emotion than any emotion that's ever existed. you think? do you think this could be the case?
57:49 like i bet a gazelle that gets bitten by a lion and then falls down is experiencing like a level of agony that is beyond what we could even fathom within the scope of human existence. don't say maybe it feels good to give up. don't say i'm not gonna push that doomer.
58:12 do you think that, well then why did, then why was the gazelle running in the first place? all right. if the gazelle subconsciously wanted to give up, then why was it running in the first place? and don't say there's all the other gazelles we're running to because i don't have a counter argument for that. okay. i don't have a counter argument for that. i mean getting run down, it does feel bad. it already feels bad in like tag when you're just going up against somebody who's faster than you or something like that.
58:36 you're running as fast as you can and you still can't avoid the tag. i mean, if the consequence of that was like, by the way, you're done, i would feel way worse, man. i can't even imagine. eating alive or nothing but arby's for a year, it's gotta be eating alive in that case. but in any other circumstance, like in something that wasn't a life or death circumstance, i'm probably taking the alternative. but in that unique situation, it's gotta be eating alive for sure.
59:04 also, i have not eaten at arby's since i was like 10 years old or something on a road trip. and even then i only ate at the arby's once. i said the arby's like it was the flagship boutique. i'm gonna get you. i gotta get you. that's and then the fucking animal is about to eat you is like taunting you too. no man, like cuz then you know it's a fucking joke to them like they're casual about it. that'd be the worst.
59:43 i think you're missing out on mushrooms. i have to stop myself before i say something crazy. the lsd anecdotes would go crazy. keep in mind, i'm just a dude. so don't get too mad about what i'm about to say, especially if like doing psychedelics changed your life. obviously, they have like a response, like a biological response. but anytime anyone tells me about like the conclusions that they took from their psychedelic trip, i'm like, yeah, i know man. i guess i just sort of like
1:00:15 i'm not gonna say i am smarter, but like i kind of already got, i already knew that. i kind of already knew we were all made from the same shit and we're like in this together and you know like other people are also real and experience like the same range of emotions. well many of them at least like
1:00:35 i'm not saying it doesn't do anything. i'm just saying whenever people are like, it unlocked it for me. i'm like, well, you know, i just think honestly, for some reason i specked into it. i don't know just by not having a smartphone when i was a teenager. so like anytime my mom picked me up from school, it was like a 40 minute drive on the way home. i was just looking out the damn window thinking about shit. these days a lot harder to do because you would just be like, i'm just going to look at my phone. but like back then we didn't. i was like, oh, i'm bored. but like you kind of come to some conclusions as well.
1:01:04 mushrooms are way closer to animals than plants. yeah, bro, plants aren't close to animals at all. their cells are a fucking rectangle and they have a cell wall. and they got like, i think we're fucking lucky that plants exist, man. it's fucking crazy that
1:01:24 we have like it's so perfect. we have a specialized intracellular organ that turns sugar into energy and they have a specialized intracellular organ that fucking turns energy in the sugar like that's fucking sweet, bro. you're right. you don't need lsd. they were spitting when they designed that one. it's like a perfect fucking system.
1:01:56 crazy that our lord and savior jesus christ designed that wall. he said so smart dude right there it is a smart dude. you can hide in a burrow to avoid poison lethal way way, that's insNLy good intel. honestly, we don't kill that much. we should take scavenger then if we find some meat it'll it'll give us great xp bro give me some time for my regen to work
1:02:27 oh, so you're just gonna fucking kill me even though i could be eating a ohhh it's not a real golden berry! of course it's not a real golden berry, bro! help me! it's not a real golden berry. i'm fucking dead, you can't i can't get oh, burro! oh, of course! of course! burro! should've gotten into the burro, man. you're done. this ti good game though. actually, literally a good game. i'm just getting my ass beat on difficulty 5.
1:03:13 you guys watch the ronda rousey, gina carano fight? can you loan me some money? i spent all my money. i bet $100,000 that gina carano was going to win the fight because she literally beat darth vader in the mandalorian season two. so i guess you heard it here first. ronda rousey, stronger than darth vader, i guess. vader wasn't in that. he's in it in the second season. he's in it for a minute. he's not.
1:03:44 you're right, i got it confused with rogue one. he's in rogue one for a minute though. don't lie to me, walt. he folded like an ai when it got told its logic is wrong. so first off, i wouldn't know. secondly, i was wrong though.
1:04:02 i got educated by a real star wars scholar. so i had to bow down. like you want to talk newt gunray like i mean, i got a phd in newt gunray and kip fisto type shit, but we get into all the modern stuff like ever since they made they made throng non cannon bro. i don't know anything about that shit. are there any performative mutations? i have to think about that. i mean, actually,
1:04:27 can i say something without you getting upset with me? aren't all secondary sex characteristics performative? it's something that signals increased fitness without actually having increased fitness. so i'm basically saying, literally, i'm genetically more honest than you because i don't have hair on the top of my head.
1:04:48 my genes are more honest because i don't have a typical secondary sex care. well, i guess we actually know what you can flip it around to me. maybe male pattern baldness is a secondary sexual characteristic. i don't know, but one that the culture has turned their back on because we live in a sick world, man. we live in a sick world.
1:05:15 sorry, i just bummed myself out. um, ladies love the horseshoe. ladies, is this true? you know what pisses me off? one of the best looking male hairstyles is guy with great hairline who shaves his hair really short. like the wentworth miller type haircut that fucking pisses me off man because it's like they're farming
1:05:38 bald swag and hair swag at the same time. like they're literally and i can't stop them. i'm not even saying they're in the wrong for doing it. but they're getting the swag from both without truly belonging to one of them. the group they don't belong to is bald because they're not bald, you can see their hair. they have a great hairline justice for bald men. i like bald men, it means higher testosterone.
1:06:01 it's a different kind of testosterone i'm afraid not to on bald pill use a different kind of testosterone. lots of us bald guys are also winch myself included. no, they got free testosterone confused with the other testosterone. trust me, i've been there. wait, we literally are setting a new record. we're gonna be level 100 by the time the boss shows up man. what in the shy hoolude was that?
1:06:34 they should say that in the new movie. damn, reroll a hundred times. poisonous saliva! also, the way that worm be showing up, i'll be honest, kind of seems like gregarious allude to me in a lot of circumstances, so to speak. not always so demure with it. well, though sometimes, because they're like, i want to go for a worm ride, and then the worm's like not around or whatever.
1:07:01 i'm sick of you? no surprise. i mean, you have to watch a lot of my content to make the compilations. honestly, it seems like a very normal reaction. i'd be more concerned if you weren't sick of me, to be honest.
1:07:19 ever seen the 2002 movie tiptoes starring matthew mcconaughey? i have not. i was hoping you were going to say sahara. i was hoping you were going to say you ever seen the 2005 film sahara starring matthew mcconaughey. and then i was going to say, not only have i seen it, i saw it in theaters.
1:07:35 and then you would say, why? big fan of clive tussler. and i would say, no, just sort of it came out. i had nothing to do with said, let's go to the movie theater, watch that new matthew mcconaughey, steve zahn, penelope cruz movie sahara. also, maybe the first time i ever saw dwight from the office.
1:07:52 pre office. how crazy would you have gone off with moviepass? if moviepass existed, any time between when i got my driver's license in like the 11th grade and my final year of university, i would have been wearing the fucking magnetic strip off of that thing. i would have gone ape shit on moviepass. would you have graduated? i think movies ain't that long in the whole scheme of things. you could do way more damage to yourself scholastically than
1:08:23 with video games as opposed to movies. one game of civilization is like, i don't even know, like at least five or six movies at a minimum. what if you watch loose change? yelnats, that's one of the funniest things you've ever said. i think, and like the culture was a little different when i was in university, but i do think that i saved the life of a friend of mine.
1:08:50 because in, well, my roommate in university, my housemate, i should say, in university. one day in like 2008, he was like, hey, check this out. i just watched this documentary on youtube called loose change. and it's like, i'm starting to think that like, this shit was an inside job. and i basically just instantly went like, what are you talking about? that obviously that makes no sense whatsoever. and he went, all right.
1:09:23 he kind of like i don't i'm not saying he he disabused himself with the notion but he didn't push any further and i think that was like i might have not checked him enough to just apply gentle social pressure to bring him back to normalcy. is this your first vampire survivors like am i bullying am i tweaking it's not it's not a vampire survivors
1:09:49 you aim the attacks, that's a fundamental element of vampire survivors. also i played vampire survivors and i don't even know if it was like 2017 or something. there's a b! i'm going back for it. first i just gotta ice this fool. first i just gotta get killed by this guy. motherfucker, man! remember we wanna be level 12 by the boss. i hate this fucking game.
1:10:32 i hate this fucking game. you could die just by eating the wrong food. okay, really good design, god. how about those canadians last night? they are, and i'm literally like all in on the habs, but they are seriously becoming merchants of like getting grossly outplayed every single game, but then somehow still winning. that being said,
1:11:01 and i like the sabres too, to be fair. mostly because like the canucks, they've been in the league for the exact same amount of time and have also never done anything important. except that one time they did win the stanley cup, but then like the rules were fucked up that season. so if like you had a, i mean, it's a whole discussion. calgary kind of got screwed by that too, if we're being honest. but regardless, calgary, you shouldn't complain either because you literally won a game because of the freakiest bounce i've ever seen in my entire life.
1:11:33 she had literally hit like a dead zone, like a cs2 flashbang and came back like, hit dobish in the back of the left knee. like i like this! this never happens. off the backside of dobish, out of the corner, it hits him on the top of the pad. they wasted quinn hughes prime, what other team can make that claim? hopefully the wilds soon. if he deigns the franchise worthy of re signing a contract there for a couple of years until his younger brother hits unrestricted free agency.
1:12:03 better franchise than vancouver? yeah, but that's like not saying much. i mean, i root for the canucks because i live here. not because like, you know, they speak to me in the spirit. the games are like on in the restaurant when you go out to eat here, so it's pretty convenient. also, you gotta rep the local guys, because if you don't rep the local guys, you better have a damn good reason. if you live, i don't care where you live, if you live in houston, you better have a good reason not to root for the astros, okay? even if they are ontologically evil.
1:12:33 you root for the local guys because they're local. good reason it's the canucks. i'm sorry it's spiritually vacant to like live in if you live in burnaby you can do whatever you want you're probably closer to calgary than vancouver proper anyway but if you live in vancouver itself
1:12:50 very spiritually vacant to root for a different team. i would actually, i'll give you props if you root for the kraken, cuz they're kinda cool too. they got some pnw swag. but i mean, god help you if you grew up in vancouver and you choose to root for like the bruins or the rangers, god help you. new york islanders? no, the islanders are cool cuz their jerseys have orange on them.
1:13:23 okay, i'm gonna try out a new style of build. it's not working yet, but the new style of build is who gives a fuck if you hit me because i'm tanky. oh my god. it's the boss. i'm level 10 i don't do any damage and it's the boss great bro, bro, chill i need to eat the health food level me please level me. i'll stand in there. i can literally kill him i'm not saying it's gonna be fun
1:14:09 isaac has taught me the ways. it's actually gonna work, holy shit. stay on him. this could be big for me. don't burn to death. that would have been a great shot to land. kite him a little. got him? okay, now hold. hold, hold, hold right here. motherfucker, man! fuck it. the bigger you are, the rarer the evolutions are. can you, you know what? new heuristic just dropped.
1:15:13 literally always take an attack on your first few levels. go with a full load out so you're not doing a look. so you're not doing that garbage over and over saliva build yet again my leash. no, it's not a saliva build. this one's easy bro. we're going to well i mean poison damage is always good or poison resistance always huge. a poison resistance mushroom build. poison resistance could be the one.
1:15:40 shrooms do minimal damage, always worth. what about the one that killed me, huh? what about the one that fucking killed me? did that do minimal damage or did i lose? it's crazy. wait, i'm doing the chiblee thing where i'm like proverb maxing. sometimes 1 hp is your toe. sometimes it's... the point is 1 hp is a lot if that's all you got is what i'm trying to say. even the tankiest isaac started at 1 hp.
1:16:18 the ant is mighty, but he has one hp. i don't even think that's true, man. they're just weak to poison. i know that because i probably like if i'm being objective, i think i didn't like do this, but i bought the traps that have probably killed like 250,000 ants in the last two weeks.
1:16:43 came home one day, fuckload of ants right outside the garage. went to the home hardware, got some taro bait traps. next day, a bunch of really, really weird puddles around where the taro bait traps got placed. day after that, no ants. i mean none, bro. none. boss coming.
1:17:18 bro, bro, bro, stop, stop. we're both in the water, man. it's gonna be tough enough. no, actually, it might be a little bit on the easy side. never mind. i don't know, it's gonna be a damn, it's a heavyweight bout, man. this is like rousey versus carano. nobody knows how it's gonna go. run? yeah, i'm not getting hit by that one, young pup, that's for sure. i'm getting hit by that instead. stop the bolt of water!
1:18:19 the bolt of water lost to a damn shower. i don't want to charm enemies in the tundra there'll be less enemies let's go plus four to stoner ammo cap and let's actually take stoner if we see it instead of ignoring it like we do every other time let's run away so we don't die let's die you can't you can't kill the enemies you can't kill the enemies
1:19:06 like you're not fast enough to run away from the enemies and you can't kill them. flies on beatable? well yeah, if you're a piece of shit then you lose to a fly, it's how it goes man. we need an attack. we need an attack. someone in chat just mentioned merge maestro. i fucking forgot about merge maestro man. i think i went on vacation after playing that game and then forgot it existed. now that's a fucking game. normies went crazy for that for one day. i know people were in librarians comments going, can somebody explain why the merge maestro ended?
1:19:37 can someone ex can someone i'm sorry, i'm learning a new language here. it's the language of gen z youtube video essay watchers. can somebody please give me the lore dump for why the merge maestro arc ended? what do you think's the most op trait that you can have? like in the animal kingdom. and don't charles darwin fucking don't say some shit like it depends on your environment or i'll fucking slap you silly. just that i don't think those words have ever exited my mouth.
1:20:13 oh shit. yeah, flight's pretty big. thumb's definitely big. thumb's is like, i think if i didn't have them, i would be like, like what the fuck bro? some of you guys got thumbs? like almost everything is designed to like be easier to manipulate with a thumb. i'm not even memeing. it's the mouth to anus digestive tract. i mean, i, but that's like,
1:20:39 i don't know. that's like someone asking for like your favorite element. you saying carbon. like even worms have that shit, man. i'm like, i was hoping you'd say something a little bit more out of the, out of the pocket. motherfucker, man. i like nitrogen. a lot of people like nitrogen because it actually is like the modal element in our breathable air. that just is literally you're saying like the wheat is the best part of the lucky charms. it's basically what i'm saying to you.
1:21:09 you know, that's the garbage part. that's honestly we would be a lot better off probably source my ass if air was more oxygen rich. that's the type of shit lance armstrong was trying to do before you guys cancel them. you know what could be a really fun like ludwig if you're watching fun youtube video from the same twisted mind that brought you strap four of your friends to a table and give them one ambient every 20 minutes and they'll
1:21:40 the last person to stay awake wins $10,000. every 30 minutes, they're all strapped to a table. let's start right there. every 30 minutes, they have to chug a starbucks ice brown sugar oat shake and espresso with protein foam on top of it. every 30 minutes, they have to chug one. last one to shit their pants wins 250 bucks.
1:22:05 metamucil foam? way, way, ghibli! fiber enriched foam is actually so smart. i'm sure you could probably do that. okay, that is funny. i like the... do the youtube commenters on slay the spire actually just think you're... do they actually think you're lucky or are they trolling and then replying he is lucky? that is true, man. i actually am pretty lucky.
1:22:32 arguing with a friend, are you an evil genius like the dude who ran the heart attack grill? i'm not. what are you talking about? i'm not even selling anything. i'm just live playing video games. how would that make me an evil genius? i do hate that guy. i think that guy is evil. and i think what's crazy is that the people that go to the grill are like, he's not evil. he's awesome. i think the dude who owns the grill fucking hates you.
1:22:59 i don't think he would eat with you at all unless it was at his restaurant. let's put it that way. dude, i was that kid in elementary school. everyone gave me food because i was poor and fat. chiblee, i don't want to ruin your life, okay? who's going to tell him? does anybody? i don't want to tell him. does anybody else want to tell him? everybody gives everybody cookies in elementary school, chib. you ain't special.
1:23:24 sorry, chib, i didn't want to tell you. you're gonna call me poor and fat now? that would've okay, i wouldn't, but that would've been so funny if that was actually where that went. that would've been so fucking hilarious. holy shit. that's why he's the goat, man. meat, meat, meat. some meat? some meat sire? there's no food left. i ate all the food on the fucking planet. like, like, ghibli in elementary school.
1:23:57 oh, and spines are also triggered on dodge. he said, lamau, he said, lamau, it's okay. if you're watching the youtube video, chiblee said, lamau, we can't lose. i'm not sure how i'm gonna get in there and do any damage, but i'm also not sure how i'm gonna take any damage without reflecting it all back on the boss. i'm keeping an eye on my hp, i'm scuttling back. i think i almost got hit there.
1:24:54 does this game get hard? have you seen those last few runs? i've been dying in three seconds! okay, yeah, and then knock me into the fruit so that i get a ton of xp, bro. really good idea. really smart idea on your part there. now i'm gonna level up like five times and i'm gonna get stuff that allows me to level up even faster. my cooldowns just got reduced by 40%, though. that's devastating news for me.
1:25:49 you hate jaws? i'm using it now! you won't level it up? the only thing that can fucking kill me is meteors, bro! i gotta take meteor resistance. he's the easiest run of my life. never let the peanut gallery get you down. you literally gave it a five on letterboxd? it is one of the best movies ever made for sure. um, less than 1,000 damage taken is crazy. anyway, uh, see you tomorrow. good night. follow the sound of my voice. i can sing a song if it makes it better.
1:26:34 i in the town where i was born lived a man who sailed to sea and he told the self his life in his yellow submarine
1:26:53 scars of blue and teas of green many more of us that live next door all we need scars of pink and subs of yellow in our yellow shrubbery come on sing it with me i'm not moving you're trolling me i'm leaving