when you don't take your normal pills - Bits and Banter [07⧸08⧸2026]

Name: when you don't take your normal pills - Bits and Banter [07⧸08⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-07-11
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "when you don't take your normal pills - Bits and Banter [07⧸08⧸2026]" — 212 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-07-11

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0:00 oh, sorry. i was finishing my smoothie. i was finishing my smoothie. also morning got thrown out of a whack. it was at 857, my daughter said, can you give me a ponytail? dads, i'm not trying to like cement gender stereotypes, but i am one of those dads. i'm not good with the hair. i'm not good. i mean like the bald joke makes itself obviously, but also even like
0:29 when i was a kid i wasn't like great at tying my shoes and stuff like that. never really good at like arts and crafts etc etc so it's like the uh it's a tall order for me but i got it done. it doesn't it's not the it's not the best i've ever seen it done but it's some of the best that i've ever done.
0:47 brother, you set your own schedule. don't go live at 9. just go live at 10. this is what happens when you go live at 9 a.m., 902 a.m., and stay muted until 905. people say you should have just delayed the stream by an hour. why don't you just do what every other streamer does? start the stream 30 minutes late and then also start it with a starting soon screen with a countdown. and then when the countdown ends, you don't go live. you play a video compilation that's 10 minutes long, and then you go live.
1:16 we don't need to start the stream off on this foot. i want you to know that you set the tone. how do you put up with an ongoing list of some of the worst advice from random strangers that pass you by in chat on the daily? because literally the only person whose opinion i care about is chiblee and chiblee and i commiserate on this and it's
1:34 honestly, that makes it all worth it. i was a 23 year old at one point, so i understand why 23 year old redditers in twitch chat are going, they're saying things like, why don't you just do it this way? that like, they think that every other person in the world should be uniquely and exclusively concerned.
1:53 with min maxing every single trivial aspect of their life from the grocery bill to the, oh, how do you tie your shoes, how do you, oh, the type of water you drink and when you time it and you shouldn't be taking a multi, you should be breaking your multivitamin in two and taking half in the morning and half at night. but they themselves don't follow that advice.
2:18 so i understand, man, because they're like, well everybody else, what they're lacking is knowledge. they're lacking the knowledge and information that i have been a conduit for. i've been a condenser rod for information because i've spent my entire youth online. i have aggregated more information than any other human being on planet earth and all i want to do is give up this information. but their problem is a lack of motivation.
2:46 i just can't seem to get the... and uh, well yeah i sure i would like to. i would like to but okay yeah sure with whose time bro? you'll get it one day. you'll get it one day. same way i didn't think i'd ever be separating my laundry. but then some one time you separate your laundry and you go damn the lights are looking crispy and the colors are looking vivid. no shot i'll ever do that? you'd be surprised what you'll do.
3:16 you'd be surprised. he should get a plunger though. i really, i'm banging the drum on the plunger and i'll tell you why. just because you live alone now doesn't mean you won't at some point have a baddie in your house. if you have a baddie in your house you need to have a plunger for discreet unclogging. you can't be like hey wait
3:35 i clogged the toilet, let me go to the kitchen and put the kettle on and then pour boiling water down the toilet. and that's the best case scenario would be you doing it in your own apartment. but what if the baddie clogs the toilet and then there's no plunger? they're going to be like, what do i do? they're not going to go into your kitchen and have the courage to boil a kettle and then pour it down the toilet. it's going to set things off on the wrong foot.
3:58 a plunger is legitimately, it's like not having like car insurance. like you just need to have it. car insurance is actually worse because it costs a lot of money. a plunger is like 20 bucks. you just put it next to the toilet. if you use it once it's already paid for itself.
4:15 don't even, i mean the oven mitt is crazy but using your old passport for an oven mitt is really funny. also it's the kind of thing that like people will do, people of a certain age will do to not create a dish. like washing one extra dish takes anywhere from zero seconds to at most like one minute
4:35 people will structure their entire cooking and cleaning routine to save one dish. like they'll be trying to, they're using a wooden spoon to stir the soup and then they're using the wooden spoon to serve the soup or picking up like the entire stock pot to try to pour in the perfect amount of soup into a bowl just so they don't have to wash a single ladle. reminds me, my kid was watching a youtube video and she was like you got to see this it's genius and then it was uh
5:04 there's a teacher who said you can't have candy in your classroom. so the kid went like, oh, like i don't know how much youtube kids you watch, but it's like all mr. bean. like every single video is essentially the spiritual child of mr. bean. so they go, hmm, and then they go home and they get a sheet of gingerbread, cut it out into a rectangle and then use icing to make like a little
5:31 lcd screen on the top of it and then like glue little gumdrops to it and then brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
5:59 my teacher said i couldn't have candy so i got a sheet of gingerbread and she... that... wait actually that could be awesome. taking the ai generated life hack craft videos and then feeding them into the ai youtube story generator? this happened at my school. my teacher said i couldn't have gum. meanwhile she drinks coffee every day. this is ridiculous. abacus full of lifesavers? you see you guys, you guys would crush it on youtube kids.
6:27 they really do sacrifice everything to not have to wash a spoon but use a plastic water bottle that is not designed to be washed by people with bones in their hands? are you talking what's the new water bottle of choice? because i'm literally still using an analogy that might be fucking chock full of bpas, bro. i have no idea.
6:44 where like five water bottle metas passed. and what's crazy is that the nalgene was the wave for like 10 years until they found out it was giving people all sorts of horrible diseases or whatever, all sorts of chronic illness or what have you. but then like hydroflask through to a walla, i feel like that happened in like seven or eight years. like
7:08 it was only a couple of years ago that the stanley cup was everywhere. now the stanley cup, i feel like is basically neck and neck with the o'wallis. insulated bottles, a huge upgrade. i'm not saying generally i'm neurodivergent because they haven't proved it yet, but when it comes to beverages, i'm obviously not neurotypical because i don't need an insulated water bottle. if there is a full bottle of liquid in front of me, i will consume it.
7:36 all and then it will be done and then i no longer have to think about it. whereas it's to me if i may be not generous in my read of people they go i drink so much water i drink so much water that i need to carry around a gallon all day everywhere i go
7:55 but also i drink it so very, very slowly that i need it to be basically a physicist grade calorimeter so that it maintains exactly the perfect temperature because i'm
8:10 titrating it into my body at a steady rate of like 10 milliliters per 15 minutes. like, and if i ever deviate from that, i get a headache. i'm literally, i'm not being performative, but like when i am thirsty, i will like go to my fridge and fill up a glass of water and chug it and fill up a glass of water and chug it and then put the glass in the dishwasher. and then i'm, i'm just good for like,
8:35 i don't know, i could be good for hours at that point. i could be good for like until until dinner time. i'm not much of a sipper. but i am also that guy like at a restaurant sometimes i have to tell the server not to fill up the water glass. because if you fill it up i'm just gonna keep drinking it.
8:51 and if i keep drinking it, i mean at the end of the day it is just water. but sometimes i like go out for a nice dinner with my wife at like 7 p.m. and then i'll pee like three times overnight because i probably drank like a liter and a half or two liters of water just at the dinner. i drink three non alcoholic beers at lunch and then feel good about myself because it's not alcohol then i have a headache later in the day. three non alcoholic beers for lunch? that's such an interesting character because it's like
9:20 so bordering on hedonism, but obviously not hedonism. it's almost like you're drinking so much non alcoholic beer that it's almost hedonistic. that's a lot of calories. oh, here we go. you're from chiblee's chat. people mad at chiblee because he's on a diet. his diet is eating healthy food.
9:39 then someone was like, why don't you just eat more fruit? and i was like, don't be, be fucking real. if chiblee was talking about eating like two oranges a day, people would be like, that's a lot of sugar. i know how you motherfuckers roll. crabs in the bucket. get back, get back down here. get back down here. where do you think you're going? trying to better yourself? get back down here. get back down here. you deserve it. oh, you, you deserve a treat sometimes. you deserve a treat sometimes. yeah, all the time, right?
10:06 i went to school with the chick who won canadian idol, melissa o'neill. okay, listen, lots of people have won canadian idol, okay? you said it like only one person in history has ever won canadian idol and that's just simply not true. ryan malcolm from amherst view, ontario won the first season. i know that because i lived adjacent to amherst view, ontario, so it was like huge news here. i even got an i voted for ryan malcolm t shirt at value village once and i honestly, it fit
10:35 it fit really well. so i was wearing it for a while. mostly, i mean, i was like 17 when i got it, so it was mostly ironic. but also my parents wouldn't let me call the number and vote for ryan because it costs like 50 cents every time you voted or something like that. no shot, bro. it costs money. yeah, man, it costs my participating charges may apply. i need a video essay to tell me if that was like the real way that american idol made all their money.
11:02 because i genuinely think it's possible that actually like the show was not it was making some money off advertisements and record sales obviously but bro maybe it was actually just selling texts maybe the texts were actually j because you think about it it was 50 cents a vote
11:20 and there were like 2 million votes a week. i mean that's a million dollars man. that's a lot of money. people were signing up for phone plans to vote? bro, they were buying ringtones. this shit was no fucking joke. i paid 2 bucks to get the in like flint ringtone on my nokia. are you austin powers? all i know about in like flint is that it's a spy caper and it's also...
11:42 austin powers' favorite movie. he goes in like flint, that's my favorite movie. and then vanessa as a fembot. why don't i get you some more champagne, lover boy? why don't i get us some more champagne, lover boy? okay. don't post bait in my chat, okay? someone said, didn't that ceo get caught cheating on his wife at a postal service concert? okay, you are trying to bait me
12:12 into crashing out because you're comparing coldplay to the postal service. what i'm actually going to crash out about is that i don't fuck with coldplay at all. i think it's crazy that british people will actually be like, did you get tickets for the... did you get tickets for coldplay at wembley? i fucking heard them talking about it when i was in england, okay?
12:32 as much as i don't really give a fuck about coldplay, it's not their fault. it's not their fault that shit went down at their concert. it's not like chris martin got up on stage and said, it's a great song for those of you who were cheating on your wives, mate! like he didn't get up there and do that. he was just playing something that probably went like, ooh, ah. he was doing something like that. scientist is pretty good. great, so they've got one song you like.
13:00 they've been making music for 35 years. let's pretend this band matters. you just designed the postal service? postal service has one good album. different story. shout dd. different fucking story. and i'm not even fucking with the same songs that you're fucking with off give up. how do you feel about the district sleeps alone tonight? that's a fucking banger, man. my 2010s nostalgia streamers hating on coldplay, it's over?
13:26 you have me confused with another motherfucker exactly seven years younger than me? i consistently glaze 2000 to 2008.
13:36 that's my nostalgia window. have you ever heard me out here being like, man we need to get back to fun needs to make we are young 2. have you ever heard me say some stupid shit like that? no bro! i'm saying, where the fuck is david o. russell? what happened after i heart huckabees ended? we need to figure out what happened after we need an i heart huckabees 2 on apple tv. i'm saying shit like that, man. you got me fucked up and painless, man.
14:04 streamers love making up people in chat to make fun of. no they don't! do you watch other streams bro? they're mostly out here saying thanks for the gift subs. i only watch slime. okay you literally are high elo twitch. that's on kaistenet returning to streamer, streaming after a hiatus. i was watching with the half a million people that were watching and i was like fuck it why didn't any of my fucking chatters tell me to apply to streamer university bro they fucking hate me.
14:31 we literally did? yeah, but i didn't know the deadline was like probably a month ago. you should be teaching the classes. i mean education's a two way street bro. i could audit a couple of classes and and kibitz a little bit.
14:46 odds that i end up, if i was a professor at streamer university, odds i end up getting my shit beaten off in some kind of viral video where the students swarm me with socks full of nickels. because they've had enough of whatever the fuck i'm saying so they just start beating the shit out of me while somebody at the classroom at the back films. you meant beaten up, not beaten off? i said have my shit beaten off, okay? the language, the english language is full of intricacy.
15:14 if you are getting beaten off, you're getting jerked off. if you're getting beaten up, your shit's getting rocked. but if your shit is getting beaten off, in context, you're getting your ass beat so hard that parts of your body are falling off. some of your skin is falling off or your jeans are getting ripped or something like that, like, you wouldn't get it, man. people don't say that, bro. there's a first time for everything. play a skill.
15:45 sovereign blade doesn't do nearly as much damage as i thought it would, which i think guarantees that we're dead. i think it means we're 100% dead. i'm looking at this, like in my head, i'm giving the appearance that i'm doing like math or something like that. no, nothing is happening. i'm staring at the screen, just waiting for something to come to pass that would change my mathematically certain fate. we're fighting the lagavulin matriarch, but they're gonna be very, very vulnerable.
16:17 and then you're gonna say, why'd you say it like that? and i'm gonna say like what? and then you're gonna say like that. and then i'm gonna say, can you be specific? and then i'm gonna force you to say, like the grandma when she gets horny in the nutty professor 2. streamers love making up people in chat to make fun of. no, they don't. do you watch other streams, bro? she does say it like, she says, got me feeling pwn rable. you remember that? sorry, i forgot you guys don't watch movies.
16:48 unless they're on youtube shorts. it's my bad on that one. no, man, i'm not 40. wrong, you're not 40 yet. you still might not be. statistically speaking, you got a really good chance of making it. i know guys who like literally don't ride a motorcycle or skydive or anything love to say like, i'm not sure i'm gonna make it there, but like statistically speaking, bro, your problem, let me put it this way, i'll take the over. 60, you never know. 60 could be a,
17:18 be a bit of a crapshoot i feel but 40? yeah, yeah, i think you're gonna make it. i was talking about this this weekend. at 38 are you gonna say i'm 40? because i did. 24 is 35. 35, 24, okay, listen, you're older than me because you're 40 so i have to respect this a little bit but 24, maybe you meant the right 34 is 35. because 24 is obviously not 35.
17:41 35 is 35, 36 is 36, but 38 is 40. 42 is 40, but 43 is 45. i see no errors with that. yeah, i mean we've talked about this many times before. in fact, i think we've taken it one step further. we've said some stuff like being 32 is literally being younger than being 29 in the manner of how old you feel.
18:07 because you compare yourself to the to the peer group that you're in and if you're like the oldest dude in your friend group and you're 29 you feel old as dirt, but if you're 32 you're like oh my 30s just started i'm just gonna level with you guys this run is actually dead i'm 42 my friend group is all 29. just kill me now, but how did that?
18:30 that's literally fine. i don't think there's anything problematic about having 29 year old friends when you're 42 or whatever. but like you did that, right? because i don't know, most of the people that i am friends with irl now, i met, are they all my girlfriend's friends? wait, you're baiting. you're baiting. or yeah, you could be a grad student or something like that. or that's true, it could be a final fantasy xiv type of thing.
18:59 maybe a final fantasy xiv raid group sort of thing going on. i could see that. i'm only 29, 29 is young. yeah, yeah, i know. but like you guys, not to like divide us, but you guys love to say stuff like, oh, i'm almost 30, as if like 30 is old. you guys love to do shit like that. oh, my life's over.
19:21 i'm 29. oh, my life's over, bro. your life was over the second it started. okay? like that's the deal. you get that, right? your life was over when you were a second old. your life is over when you're one second away from dying. your life's been over the whole time. okay? so nothing has changed.
19:41 you will literally spend your entire life being older than you are now. you realize that, right? you'll spend your entire life being older than you are in this very instant. 100%, the totality of your remaining existence you will spend older than you are right now. that's why you need to go to bed earlier.
19:57 this game copied midnight suns. this is the second message about midnight suns you've added in the chat so far, which is every once in a while, i don't know anyone else, can we get all the partner streamers to out themselves? i promise this isn't a trick, we're not going to corral you all and then beat your shit off with socks full of nickels, but
20:17 every once in a while you'll encounter a chatter who is dedicated at least a chunk of their day to trying to get a bit across the line that was just doomed from conception. just for some reason they're... i don't want to say obsessed. obsessed is taking it a step too far. yes, like you saying you will rot in hell for your fairy toast slander. i saw you post that in pre chat.
20:39 and i was like, it's an interesting thing to start chumming the waters a little bit with some scrandle bait from like months ago. but then to bring it back like an hour and 25 minutes later, it says something about the reader, the commitment to the bit or the writer, i should say. i've been saying it for a straight year. you and just finn, man.
21:00 you know what's crazy is reading someone posted about a competitive eater in the discord this weekend.
21:19 i went to their like major league eating profile because it's just like it's a unique sport and i actually i have to admire it as a sport because like genuinely what makes it not a sport they have to train they're doing things to their body that the average person basically is it's inconceivable like they they have to go through they it's it's obviously a sport whether you consider it
21:41 valid or not, like it's a sport. the hot dogs or whatever, because at this point i've become desensitized to like a guy eating 70 hot dogs. now to me that's normal, weirdly enough. like if a guy ate 30 hot dogs or something like that in 10 minutes, i'd be like, big whoop, that's not even close. even if it is 10 times more than i've ever eaten in the same time period.
22:01 but i love reading the other records that a competitive eater has to eat to like sustain their career as a competitive eater in between the huge contests. because there was one dude that they were linking and he's like okay he's participating in the
22:16 nathan's famous hot dog eating contest, but then also at one point last year he ate 14 pounds of chocolate fudge in 10 minutes. i don't know like pound for pound how that compares to the hot dogs, but just the statement 14 pounds of fudge in 10 minutes is unbelievable because after like two pieces of fudge you're like so little i'm starting to feel my tummy hurt a little bit man.
22:41 yeah, nathan's famous is a g1, it's a g1 for sure. huge, extra thunderclap in the deck. with 11 hp, i have liz with tail nephew. look it up. now stop wasting my time. get out of here. i didn't see, it's at the top of the screen nephew. now stop wasting my time. trying out a new bit. damn, okay. don't say damn okay. you gotta say damn. okay, shorty.
23:17 did you see this? okay, well kate, i didn't see it because it's on x. let me see what it is. no, i can't play the video. don't miss what's happening. people on x are the first to know. log in or sign up. when i try to click play on the video, it does not play because i'm not logged in. so it's a funny video. was it about two games of south mahjong taking four hours to play?
23:40 and i'll have you know, okay, i have not brought up to my chat why it took four hours to play two games of ritchie south mahjong because i don't think that it's my story to tell. and honestly, i'm not even sure that 2026 is the right time to tell it. ask me in five years. mark your calendar. ask me in five years why it took four hours to play two games of ritchie mahjong and i will tell you. you don't understand. i'm on the pulpit. i have a position of influence
24:08 if i had to tell the story as it honestly happened, i'm partly responsible for how you guys react to that information. which is fucked up, because i'm just one person, but all of a sudden the actions of like thousands of people reflect on me. so i'm not allowed to share awesome, funny stories that would be so old and i would farm so much dopamine from sharing them, and you would be like, wow, that's fucking funny, but i can't say it. i would be irresponsible to share the story.
24:37 just follow your letterbox. let me say your boomer comes out in your reviews, king. get more gen z, please. gen z, okay, first off, literally i own you because i just got the card that i needed to win the game. secondly, do you have any issue? like, could you be specific about the issue that you have? the issue is just that i'm older than you, but not even by that much? i'm like maybe 15 years older than you when there's people on the earth that are 65 years older than you?
25:03 didn't like the minions review? i mean if you're in your 20s and you're holding the, leaving a light on for the minions, you have a fucking problem. you are... the earth is not gonna be kind to you. and don't say i didn't warn you, let's put it that way. but you better be fucking hot, okay? if you're like in your mid 20s and you're like, you gotta go see the minions, you better be smoking hot. because if you're normal or ugly, you are fucking fucked, okay?
25:31 don't say i didn't fucking warn you. that's two stars too many. yeah, my wife literally fell asleep during the movie. i didn't fall asleep but my heart rate did hit 40 beats per minute which is like basically the part where your watch vibrates and tells you you need to see a doctor. you made fun of me for falling asleep? no i didn't. i didn't make fun of you for falling asleep. i think i said i almost fell asleep as well.
25:56 i asked how long was the movie and you said about 25 minutes. that's not making fun of you. i was making a comment about how the movie literally waited until it was 90 minutes and one seconds long. they literally just needed to get the stamp of approval from the mpaa that it was feature film length and then they were like okay work's done. so it's kind of like a jim jarmusch movie? no, if it was a jim jarmusch movie it would be bad and then also like two hours and 15 minutes long.
26:24 okay, but not ghost dog. ghost dog is good. i haven't seen patterson. i mean i've only seen two or maybe three jim jarmusch movies. fuck it, go ahead and kill me. but i'll tell you, permanent vacation did a lot of fucking damage to the jim jarmusch mythos for a guy like me.
26:44 permanent vacation 75 minutes. the longest 75 minutes of my entire life. and by the way, if you want to clown on me for saying that 75 minutes felt long, go ahead and watch it. i'll wait. i'm one of six people that's logged in on letterboxd. criterion collection fucked me by putting it in the under 90 minutes category. that shit is supposed to be curated. it's not supposed to be machine generated. oh, here's a list of movies that are under 90 minutes. i could vibe code that, bro. it's supposed to be like,
27:13 these are good movies under 90 minutes. one thing's for sure though, when they named permanent vacation, they knew what they were doing. you said, holy shit, they were cooking here to singing in the rain. that shit's like a hundred years old, bro. go watch supergirl. you literally fucked it up because you baited me with the first comment and then you laid it on too thick with the second comment to try to get a joke. and now i realize you're not a real person. the first comment got me. the first comment was good because it was right on the borderline of believability. the second comment veered too much into farce.
27:43 there's no inferno in sts 1? it's combust it's canonically very similar to inferno, okay? spiritually speaking. sorry, people won't let me stream until i respond to my wife's question that i missed in the flood of chat. how big for a dick do you have to have to be considered big dick?
28:03 i would think when you get to seven inches you would start calling it big dick. if six is average there's no shot that someone who's got a seven incher is going to be like i have an average size dick. it's more of a vibe. that's probably true because there probably is a composite with like versus how much extra meat you've got in the pubis region. i gave you like a quantifiable, i just realized there's a bald dude getting this fucking shit rocked on this card. i never even noticed that. that's what they would do to me after my first lecture at streamer university man.
28:32 i never noticed that the bald dude in there getting his face broken before. i don't know, i'd have to think about it, i guess. one thing's for sure, it's never been a problem for me. there's a reason that i'm theorycrafting instead of diving into a wealth of lived experience when it comes to this question. you think jay and silent bob are both packin'?
28:52 or like one of them isn't, one of them isn't. i'm not just saying this because of their size, like their physical size. jason mewes strikes me as the, he's the prototypical mold of guy that has a huge penis. didn't seem like he tried that hard in school. tall, skinny, exudes charisma to begin with. now, kevin smith, i don't necessarily want to say because i don't know there might actually, we might be known
29:21 what kevin's working with, but here's what all i would say is that he doesn't give off big penis energy to me. let me escape plan. an escape plan for my dick would be pretty rad. draw a card if it's a skill, add six inches. okay, so it's six inches. i didn't think that one through before i said it, but...
29:42 maybe like add an inch or something, a half an inch or something like that would be enough to make a difference. six inches you might be like, damn this is getting a little too crazy. too many people got pinocchio dick these days. i literally don't know. i literally don't know. i've been in the locker rooms, you know? what does that mean? kate, that would be a long dick that's very skinny. that would be a pinocchio dick, an example of a pinocchio dick at least. at least i think that's what they're going for.
30:13 it could also be a dick that i guess grows a little bit every time you lie. that's a pencil dick? well then what the fuck is a i think they knew what they were saying with pinocchio dick. i don't watch livestreams but i wanted to say when nl speaks mandarin it reminds me of the scene in tropic thunder when robert downey jr. has to try and communicate with the drug dealers. what the fuck? he's speaking english. he's speaking english in the scene when he says he's a lead farmer. woyou mai, fay gee piao. wob.
30:42 you know what the type of shit i'm trying to say? you know the type of shit i'm trying to say? oh, it's gonna go so crazy later today when i ask giga what she ate for lunch. and then she's gonna go, she's gonna laugh, and then she's gonna go, sure, sure. and i'm gonna say, oh,
31:12 nature wolf and shema is that is that what did you have for lunch kind of yes nature shema love buddy where's lunch i don't see well i don't see you i don't see wolf n in that in that sentence whatsoever wrong word order but most people would know what you mean huge huge huge
31:33 incredible. we're fucking getting there, man. i can't wait to order at the chinese restaurant. me ordering imperfect mandarin? see, that's a joke, because you know what i fucking ordered? i ordered a number 20. i ordered a number 20 imperfect mandarin, bro. white boy stuns by ordering a number 20 imperfect mandarin?
32:03 i gotta bring him to richmond and see if he can actually order food there. kate, i can order food there because they speak english. the signs are all in chinese and i don't know whether it's... is there a difference between cantonese and mandarin writing or is it a simplified traditional... is that the schism? i don't know, but the signs are all in chinese, but the staff tends to speak. i don't know, i've never been to the restaurants because i get intimidated by the signs.
32:36 this is problematic? no the fuck it isn't. we found someone whiter than me. you know how i know they're whiter than me? they think that taking an interest in a foreign culture is problematic. i'm really white. like, there's no question that i'm white as fuck, but i'm not that white. that's crazy. i'm from saskatchewan, pal. i could have told you that, okay? bet you're wearing a bunny hug right now. actually, that's true. the only thing
33:03 whiter than saying learning mandarin is problematic is actually learning japanese. that's true. that's a good point that's a really good end one to that joke. i really respect that one i thought i was trying to learn japanese because my mom's japanese, but i'm actually learning it cuz my dad's white. mm hmm. that's right that's right. that's that's see now that's an end to you don't see that happen that much for that's that's really funny i can't it's unsurvivable
33:33 it cannot be survived. gain six tainted off each one. i mean, i was dead either way, but still. stings a little bit, man. does he ever win? kait, slay the spire 2, like literally, there was a sweet spot. i'm sorry, we already did our hour with this guy. there was a sweet spot where it felt like you could win on ascension 10. but then i honestly, i don't know what happened. we went away for two weeks and when we came back, they had changed the game just enough to make it seem like it's impossible.
34:04 like it's impossible to win a run of sleevespy or two now. something like severance would work well here i think. infeabling touch is really good too but apple plus said the same. i don't know, i'm not just trying to be a dickhead. i don't understand the joke. apple plus must have had a show called oblivion but the only oblivions i know are the elder scrolls game
34:29 and then the... oh, sev oh, you would know, severance! okay, we're talking about severance because i added a card called severance to my hand. apple tv's got some shooters. you i'm telling you for your own and this is me acknowledging that i'm the asshole in this situation, okay?
34:45 you have to stop talking so much about tv in my chat and the thing is, the reason is because it's turning me into that guy who's gonna say things like you guys sure watch a lot of tv. because i haven't watched any tv in 2026 so i don't have anything that i can add anything to this. you watched a hundred movies? yeah, yeah, that's like two seasons of tv though.
35:08 that's the thing, that's why i'm like, people are like, i think you're, my position is that society has overbought prestige television shows and is not putting the respect on cinema that it deserves to be honest. people will say things like they like movies but then they see like four movies a year and they'll watch like seven seasons of a tv show that they find like just one tick past boring. which i, i mean, i don't know, i'm just not, i guess it's another thing in the not neurotypical category.
35:36 you like how i'm using that for everything now? it feels good. i understand why you guys were doing that for so long. now that i'm doing it, i fucking get it, man. it feels awesome. you can't keep saying that. i have to say it's only gonna get worse. it's only gonna get worse, man. the negative test result is gonna fuck with you. the test is too expensive for it to not find something. i'm sorry. we're gonna beat you off with socks, man. as i understand, i'm not fully familiar
36:07 with everything in the neurodivergent community. but i think that people like me would not be that disappointed. i think that might be a plus, man. seems like the sort of thing my people might be into, depending on the sock. can i tell you something? this is serious, well it's not serious, but it's real. i literally, literally bought motion sickness patches that go behind your ear.
36:35 so that i can play more mecha chameleon. do they work? well, i went down the rabbit hole that i always go down, which is like i googled like cures for motion sickness in video games and then like
36:46 people were like i use scopelamine and it works great and then i googled like scopelamine patches and it turns out like all medicine that actually works you need to get a prescription which is like okay i can get a prescription but i have to fucking make an appointment with my doctor. my doctor is not gonna be excited for me to be like when i play video games
37:08 i, my tummy hurts and i want to throw up. she's going to be like, okay, we'll see you in like two and a half years. so the odds of me getting a prescription for that in a timely fashion is really, really low. okay. so i got like, i asked, what about the, like the ones that don't have real medicine that goes, go behind your ear, but you can just buy them online. and people were like, yeah, they actually work pretty well. so i got some of those and we'll, we'll give it a test.
37:35 they just need to add an fov slider. no bro, this is the thing. you're not talking to real motion sickness heads. people, we were talking about basically i'm saying you're ableist because people don't fuck with you. they love to hear that you have motion sickness in video games until you say, yeah, i've changed the fov. and then they go, okay buddy, fuck you. i was just trying to help.
37:56 i was literally just trying to help but you've already tried. oh, i applied zero effort to try to solve your problem? well, that's about as far as my sympathy goes. i've done the fov, the game's running at a good frame rate. i just get it, man. i just get it.
38:11 i'll tell you some things that trigger it. lower frame rate triggers it. first person is the biggest trigger for it. and like anything that flips perspective for sure and games that are not well lit. so especially first person horror games. so horror games that are dark but then you have a flashlight and you move the flashlight around, triggers it like crazy. and screen shake.
38:33 screen shake totally fucks with it. you get it in vr? yeah, yeah, yeah. but luckily there's like one good vr game that's ever been made so i don't have to worry. i played every vr that's ever been made. driven the back road so i wouldn't get laid.
38:51 you didn't change flv because they don't have it? i'm crashing out? no, what i'm saying is, i'm saying mecha is not the only game where this happens, bro. i've been alive on this planet for 37 years, you were not privy to it. this is like a recurring thing. actually, as i get older, it gets a little bit worse.
39:05 okay, okay. yeah, i didn't fucking exist when you open your eyes motherfucker. i've been here tiptoeing since you were like negative 11. it's motion blur for me. and you know what the average person does? they go, oh, i don't have that one. fuck you! i'm sympathetic to you. i like that. this is slicker than cum on a gold tooth. that's certainly evocative.
39:30 why are people saying, huh? like think about it. think about it first. first off, i didn't originate it. the chatter originated it. secondly, i think it's a perfectly valid analogy. would you rather run a fool's errand or chase a red herring? stupid question. run a fool's errand. easy. and you're going to say, aren't they the same thing? no, they're not. chasing a red herring, your task
39:53 was solving a case or something detective like. if you've chased a red herring, you've wasted time. you're actually further from your goal than you were if you had stood in the same place and done nothing. a fool's errand? maybe you didn't complete the task, but the task couldn't have been completed to begin with, so nothing's really changed. at least you got some work done. a thousand bucks or 500 dinners with jay z. in my heart of hearts, i would
40:20 i'd certainly rather have a thousand bucks than 500 dinners with jay z. that's just a lot of pressure. i understand that like 500 dinners is worth more than a thousand dollars, but at some point your mental health is worth something, man.
40:33 is it? i mean, it's gonna take me like a fucking year or something to get through all the dinners with jay z, man. i don't wanna have dinner with jay z. i don't have like anything against him, but i don't have anything fucking for him either. i don't wanna have dinner with jay z 500 times. just let me get the... i'll take the grand easy and then we'll just call it a day. probably better for hov as well, all things considered, because then
41:00 he doesn't have to waste his time with a with a a nave such as myself. what if you hit it off? i mean, but the thing is sometimes it's just nice to like don't get me wrong. it's nice to have friends. sometimes it's nice to just have dinner and look at your phone though. you think you'd be good at joke boat? yeah, i don't know what kind of there's it's kind of a dead end question.
41:22 the only way to get yourself out of this is to say something like, okay, who wrote king kong godzilla loch ness? who wrote this? hova, was that you? uh huh. just imagine this is probably something he would say, something like that. 47 damage. this might be the end for us fair heroes. simply nothing i can do. barely die, but i die.
42:07 honestly, any other boss it's over. literally they had to put a boss in the game. because you... because you motherfuckers complained about the doorkeeper. now i've got to go up against the aeon glass. because you complained that the easiest boss was too hard. now they put a boss in the game that uniquely one shots our deck. way to go. yeah, it's funner. don't bring that fucking fourth grade level discourse into here. it's funner.
42:33 cheadlemyre, we can't be typing like that. we can't be typing glorp oh hi chat glad to finally catch you between the action i've been trying to reach you about your meeps extended morp insurance. don't get caught out in interspace without it glorp i know this is one of those things where it's like well, yeah when you when you see it printed out, it looks bad like it doesn't look as bad when you type it but when you in the streamer reads it
43:02 bar for bar out loud, it looks pretty bad, right? chiblee viewers, spare them? i'm scratching my beard like jesse plemons and asking what kind of chiblee viewer you are. you know what? let's just find out. cheadlemire? one message in chat? oh no, no, no, no, no.
43:22 one message in chat january 15th, 2026. if i type here, i can see myself in the top left glorp. oh no, no, no. holy fuck, that's funny. they've been glorping for six months, man. oh. but how the fuck is sketch in streamer university? isn't sketch famous? like it just doesn't make sense to me.
43:56 he announced an nfl draft pick? that's what i'm saying, man. that's what i'm saying. you should be a professor, nl. you have professorly vibes. who is the zhao shou amigo? who is wait, we can we're so close. why is he st why is i can't do standing. zhen ma.
44:26 zen mata zou we're getting so close to chinese steely dan with no ai with no fucking ai guys, did you ever watch ghost rider as a kid? ghost rider was the first prestige television show and nobody fucking talks about it anymore yes, it sucked as a kid. it was like literally i was locked in like breaking bad season 5
44:59 i was locked the fuck in on this man. and they ended this series on a cliffhanger. like i think they got fucking the show got canceled, not the kids on it. this is what life was like in 1994, bro. we don't know where he came from. he just showed up one night. where's that thing? he's not an alien. what is he? he's not an alien. i think you might be a ghost. are you serious? is that better, you babies? you can see that?
45:34 he wants to be friends with us. he's not an a. he can't hear and he can't talk. he can read anything. david lopez is alex, y'all. i like a theme song that's 40% of the entire episode is made up of the theme song. but then also they explain the entire premise of the show from bottom to top every single time.
46:08 so they haven't really established what
46:34 i've not really established what ghostwriter is. he's not an alien and he wants to be friends with them. he's not the spirit of a runaway slave, but they do... he's a dead person. ghostwriter is a dead person who has become a ghost and he is like... he can't go to heaven because he has unfinished business on earth.
47:00 so he's got to solve mysteries. i was really hoping that maybe at some point ghost rider, like the series finale would be like he gets the kids to solve his unsolved murder and then ghost rider can go to heaven. but then it never, they just got canceled after like season two or something and they never got to do it.
47:23 so now ghostwriter's trapped in purgatory forever! he's a ghost and he writes to us! ghostwriter! what the fuck did they mean when they say he can read anything? so for ghostwriter to communicate you had to write something down or if you sometimes there would be words on like a web page
47:46 and then ghostwriter would come in and like jumble up the letters of the webpage so he could communicate. it would be like, check the fridge or something like that. that was my childhood, man. oh, here we go.
48:16 ghostwriter, the weird rise and sudden fall. charlie's having a friend over. charlie's having a friend over, y'all. oh shit. take me back, man. this doesn't sound like the version we got in canada.
48:54 that doesn't sound like the one that we got.
49:02 this ain't rockapella. rockapella, where in the world is carmen sandiego? rare. oh shit. it is now eight minutes before nine o'clock. we've just seen in denise richardson's report, millions of young pbs viewers are learning about geography while trying to find out where in the world is carmen sandiego. as it happens, the search for carmen will be endless. who is this guy? we have found her house band, rockapella.
49:25 and they're joining us now to sing karman's high energy the who is this i know his face is never who is that young pbs viewers are learning at eight minutes before nine o'clock who's this guy's richardson's report millions of young pbs viewers are learning about geography while trying to find out where in the world is karman san diego as it has been a jennings harmon will be endless but we have found
49:47 found her house will be rockabellas but we have found her house band rock a high energy theme song acapella rockapella
49:58 this was the fucking song, man. what? it's just there's too much. there's too much going on right now to comment on. oh, can you imagine what it's like to be that guy?
50:25 you know what this scene is like? this is like when the little kid in step brothers sings the high part of sweet child of mine and you're like, i didn't know, damn, i didn't know someone could have a voice of an angel like that. like, this is so crazy.
50:48 and we come from a jungle to me. where in the world is carmen sandiego? she go from nashville to norway, bonaire to zimbabwe, chicago to czechoslovakia and back. well, she'll ransack pakistan and...
51:04 joe fucking what? you know that guy fucking hates this song, right? he's like, i'm a classically trained bass opera singer.
51:36 man, this fucking sucks. i'm sorry, this is fucking garbage. this might be the worst song i've ever heard. i should have left this back in 1994, man. carmen sandiego.
51:59 and they're doing the third. they're going to the guy with the deep voice way too much, way too much carmen san diego.
52:27 wow, thanks a lot. that fucking sucked ass. that was two minutes of our lives we are not gonna get back and the song somehow was eight minutes long. you're just a hater? they did they said watch your back, man. i'm not saying the band is bad, but that i'm starting to think that this 90s kids tv theme song wasn't wasn't that good. it actually did have a certain john gomeshi, moxie, fruvis vibe to it.
52:59 they did have, i mean the vests are one thing. they're kind of dressed like the bedouin sound clash. i'm trying to decipher giga's mandarin. it's washer, ye, you had a hundred? not quite, not quite. what's that fourth character there? so because it's paired with the one before it,
53:27 it means like, first of all, i am primarily. and then the fifth character is 100. that's bi. no, it is bi. it is bi, but it's white because of the tone. you're white human. you're white human. i am a white person. i'm a white colored foreigner.
53:55 there we go. watashi wa america shushin desu. hey giga, do you really know chinese? i know actually a fair amount but i wouldn't say i'm good at speaking it. like if someone's saying something to me i can like figure out what's happening but if i have to speak i become a real... well you're a step ahead of me then. well i can order food and that's what matters.
54:17 when i was, um, weeaboo maxing in quarantine and i was learning japanese, my friends would send me stuff to translate and they would set every third thing was in chinese and it would take me like 40 minutes to figure out, i'm like, what the fuck are they saying here?
54:35 i'm trying to get you, man. they were, they were literally trolling me. yeah, no thanks. i would say that the best way to do it is like full immersion, you know? yeah, you're not getting that out of me. yeah, i can't be doing that at this point. that's true. except the most embarrassing thing is that like if you're like fully immersed in japan and stuff, when you go home, you'll be like going like, eh, ooh. and it's so fucking humiliating to be like,
55:00 i'm so fucking sorry. i don't know why i just did that. i'm sorry. i also have like a five year old child though, so i can't like, uh, yeah, i can't just move my five year old child to china and like uproot her whole life. she doesn't speak chinese either, so. she learned real fast. yeah, her brain is probably the perfect, it's like ripe for molding. oh, she's all right. she's okay.
55:25 you ever meet one of those people that's like insNLy worldly? almost all of them have the same experience where they've moved to like three different countries and their parents just went, yeah, i'll just displace my kid. oh crap, quick, you're in my game! oh shit. i think hosting a game means starting the game. uh oh. oh. how do i change not be, i don't want to be orange. hello? yeah, hello. hello. it's like a customization, it's very important to me. hello. wait, this is so cute, our profile picture is our little faces.
55:53 he kind of does look like he's in vancouver though it kind of looks like he's hanging out at like brecca or something like that on a rainy day. you're surrounded by anime cute anime girls i've noticed i could change mine. i could find like a middle aged actor. i
56:23 you know what, i feel like that gif of the frog falling down with all the fries on the floor and then he looks up and there's like all the anime girls looking at him with disdain. yeah, yeah. i don't think everyone's here, right? someone edited it so that there's like two big circular shadows over his face. i have seen that one. oh, we're missing ashton. i have seen that one.
56:47 we got cheese in block form and we also have every ingredient in block form here. i mean what else is a thug to do when you eat cheese from the government? you know what i'm talking about? it's true. money trees? money trees by kendrick lamar? my moggins were there. so true. are you guys chinese moggins over here? no, i was talking about rap music. oh yeah. who's your favorite rapper?
57:15 it's probably got to be drake ever since he won the beef he's been doing some good work lately, you know, he came out with three albums this year i don't like dj khaled's music, but i have an appreciation for him as a person. mm hmm yeah
57:43 and you know what? he drew his own boundaries in the bedroom and i don't necessarily have to agree with that one to one but i mean everyone's got to know their limits. you woke up and you were like where's the game and it's like very... yeah. well how are you dancing? is that why you're green? how'd you do that? no i'm green because i'm green. she's green for an amazing reason. it's true. is anybody else perma spinning?
58:10 you haven't made a single burger? they should make this game but a subway man
58:37 i know some of the vtubers not be proofing the bread properly overnight, then i come back and i gotta proof the bread and slice the ingredients? sorry brother. blee blow, blee blow. blee blow to you as well. and then, can i, two trays at the same time? no, can't be done. oh! jesus christ! there's a spill on the floor, somebody could have hurt themselves! oh my god, i lost hp! i lost hp!
59:09 what are you doing over here? oh nothing spending all our money. i've been winning though. i've been winning. oh, you know what? well in that case dude this is how you make money what i spent 10 and i won four all three at the same time yeah, watch this oh shit. well, no, that's pretty good. you got 10 back at least
59:43 it literally seemed fine. i just want to see because i spotted this staircase earlier. what the hell's going on down here, man? missing pressurize. oh my god! is everybody okay? the hell's going on down here? what the fuck? what the fuck? oh my god, don't get in that. insert meat to operate? oh my god.
1:00:30 what don't go in the cave i promise you don't go in the cave all right they draw me into the burger machine my fucking head just came off the conveyor belt i
1:00:58 wait what the fuck is that? what happened? what you fucking get? you can't emote when you hold stuff. we need more buns. bring me back! bring me back! what does that mean? it's at the scene. it's funny that while this is going down, she's going, we need more buns. thank you for bringing me back by the way. thank you for bringing me back.
1:01:30 yeah, ashton, ashton, uh, we're set to go. don't worry. i'll be right back. i've had enough of this fucking bullshit. if it ain't one thi oh! jesus christ! if it ain't one thing, it's a fucking other, man. in this bitch of a world. who put that there? fuck that. give it back. this fucking spider's about to pay, man. life's too fucking short for this bullshit, man. fuck you. man, go fuck yourself. get your ass to the fucking grinder, man.
1:02:06 getting on my damn nerves. that's right, new patties. fresh and fresh buns, that's right, man. oh, oh, i gave myself a charlie horse! i gave myself a fucking charlie horse in real life! it's too scary. it's too scary, man. what? whoa, whoa, whoa! this is where i kill the monsters to make more meat for the burgers.
1:02:48 oh my gosh. i have a key. it's tom cruise! i got the key! hey, hey! oh my god, you're so lucky the shotgun's out of ammo. why? who hit me? ashton hit me! i just don't know if there's any more spiders down here. oh, you know what? you're right, right. i gotta do the stardew valley pressurizer down here. it's full now? no, man. it says it's empty. oh!
1:03:22 oh my god. we're missing a train. how do you know he's dead? oh, the skull! how did we survive him? crap. he's probably downstairs.
1:03:57 yeah, they gotta get my head. there it is. is that him? is that you, ryan? can you hear me, ryan? yeah, i can hear you. i can hear you. we're serving these guys carbonated soup. oh! there's a rat in the kitchen! get the gun! get the gun! he's stealing our meat! i got it. i got it. i got it. there's a ghost in the kitchen, y'all! he's a freak!
1:04:31 oh my god. yo, he can't get in here. if it ain't one thing, it's a fucking other with this. yes. yes, do it. oh no. hey, i'm gonna make someone else do. god bless. oh, sorry. my green, my green moment. my brother's been around here. oh, he tripped. hi. guys, you can't be leaving stuff. wait, hold on. is somebody dead? oh, he's right here. motherfucker. everyone was just locked in on making burgers, so. you gotta worm on the computer.
1:05:06 what is this? everything's okay. okay, we got 32 handled? yes, no? uh, no. okay, i'll do that. not me, chef. i'll do 32. 34. oh, that's a timer until they get sick of waiting. oh. oh, sorry.
1:05:35 what what the fuck happened there's a box there's a box or my food was what happened to my what happened to my cooked burger and it was dressed perfectly it became a cardboard box while i was pouring a drink motherfucker man
1:06:04 14% of the way to the quota. we started at 16%. oh my god.
1:06:32 you pick up a cup put it on the one you want fill it up and then grab a lid and put it on are you kidding me was like doing anything on the day i
1:07:09 yeah, i didn't see you. i delivered multiple orders. i pressurized the drinks so we could serve drinks i was i was grabbing the gun and shooting rats. i was doing everything my bad one sec one sec oh my god
1:07:43 oh my god, they don't give a fuck about me. they don't care about me at all. my subplot goes crazy, man. my subplot goes insane. i'm playing a different game, man. i'm playing a different damn game. hello? i just got taken by a monster and i fought my way out.
1:08:09 everyone else is having a group meeting about how to divide the labor. i'm in the catacombs. that was osha bro, he was coming for you. oh my god. now everyone's in the kitchen, so we're going to delegate the work. higa is the grill. kina is the drink. ryan is the ant and all the monster killer. okay, okay.
1:08:35 barry is going to be the server cleaner and taking order. wait, wait. you work the lobby. okay, okay. i'll be front of house. where's the mop as well? where's the mop? just so i know. everyone knows they put the cutest girl in front of house. oh, the mop. okay. it's all true. they're playing a different damn game. i better heal up. this shit's about to get real.
1:09:03 look there, this is... what is this? if the building's on fire... the building's on fire... two pressurized canister... i don't know, man. to you as well, sir. to you as well. everything okay over here? keeping the peace? just keeping the peace.
1:09:26 we are not running on a skeleton crew. we should be running on a skeleton crew. if this was actually realized. they really saw my performance yesterday and said, okay, you just stand in the corner. you gotta streamline the process like the mayor. we need to start making calls about this. and somehow it's smoother. so you're cooking the aliens, bro. i'm feeding the aliens to the aliens. sounds fucked up until you realize there's a lot of different kinds of aliens out there. what the fuck?
1:09:55 motherfucker, if it ain't one thing it's a fucking other man. dude, the tripping is peak humor. i hate this house. god damn it, i hate this house. i hate this hellhole. guys, i'm floating. am i okay? zero g? how we doing out here? oh! i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry. ow!
1:10:28 oh, good job, good job. oh, oh! and take this guy down to the patties. i just, i don't know what happened, man. i got a nerve, a nerve fire that wasn't supposed to fire. it works!
1:11:05 guys, there's a man, i hear him. that's crazy. he fully ran cat away. what the hell just happened? what the hell is going on? i'm dead. the day is over y'all.
1:11:45 there's still a monster! blast his ass. then watch this, then watch that you put him in the healer and you bring him back. got him! hey wait wait wait we got lots of people to bring back.
1:12:26 you're alive now, you're alive. but we're all about to be killed because we didn't make quota, right? i don't have the heart to break it to him. oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. oh my god. oh great, and i fell in the grinder. we all fell in the grinder. somebody spilled something on the damn stairs.
1:12:56 whoever has been leaving boxes on the spiral staircase is gonna get us. i could do it. i could do it. jesus christ. okay, this is gonna be actually huge. okay. oh my god. what happened? the stairs are slippery and people would fall and then their body would tumble all the way into the meat grinder.
1:13:25 but then like, i think you can trip over the body too. oh motherfucker. i think there was like an invisible stain there or something. it's fixed now. motherfucker. jesus christ. am i back? great, i'm dead. you can do extra heads and stuff. extra berries. that's past you. what the fuck? but berries why are you still mopping?
1:14:06 they don't understand. they don't understand that the mop is key to all of this. the mop is key to everything. guys, i think that they're gonna grind us up into burgers. i'm actually amazing at this.
1:14:39 get the power, the damn slot machines are off. yeah, i think we might need to remake the lobby and start from zero. but now that we know all the places we screwed up. oh. oh. now i get it. just let me, just one more spin.
1:15:10 what's this beeping? oh wait that's cute! ohhhhhh! enough's a fucking enough man. smart, smart that was good. it was a good try.
1:15:39 i will not buy chair next time. oh shit, barry are you okay? purchases have to be voted upon in the market. i will not purchase chairs! i will not purchase chairs! what's happening?! is it just like a matter of time or whatever? we all die one by one? yup. best of luck. giggle right before death. it's just you. it's just you. oh no.
1:16:40 that is crazy. bro, 90% success though. that's pretty good. that's as good as it gets unless someone's born in your restaurant. yeah, that's orson welles right there.
1:17:08 that's george orwell. i can see, honestly, orson welles, george orwell, a lot of the same sounds in there. i could understand that. exactly! the only reason i recognize him is because i recently watched the muppets movie for the first time with my community and everyone was like, oh, that guy! so now i know him. yeah, yeah, orson welles. oh, that's the muppet guy. he's not really the muppet guy, but he was in the muppet movie.
1:17:31 is he a singer? well, he's multi talented. he's a filmmaker and actor mostly. magician. i thought he was a singer the whole time. oh, sorry. why did i think this is animal farm? well, george orwell or sun wells. the writer. yes, yeah.
1:17:55 we are all so fucking stupid, it's unbearable. i mean, orson welles did die like 50 years ago. i think it's okay to not know. he's the one who did the wine commercial where he was so blasted that they had to do 5,000 takes. that is right. he did also make citizen kane. do they tip us? no, i think we live outside of america.
1:18:20 maybe barry can go do some dancing. whoa! one burger, one chamber. you know this game is missing iconic line cook music. have you guys ever heard of back when zeta wing got the whole woods glitched out? is that orson welles? similar, akin to. orson welles would actually really like double glitch. i got 14. oh, fun. gaham style.
1:18:51 i can't like actually culturally being mobbed right now. i can't be in this lobby. i've only seen one orson welles movie, it's okay. fucker man. fuck you. fuck you. motherfucker. i can hear them singing gangnam style up there. what? he doesn't have the key anymore. i'm down here for no reason.
1:19:33 when your girl's got her friends over and you're holding the chip bowl and answering random actor questions? i do bring a certain, oh you're talking about dormant mulroney vibe. i'm off if you need a guy like that at the party i would be happy to fulfill that role at basically any function. oh yeah hamish linkletter yeah yeah no you don't know the guy he was in the big short he was
1:19:56 monsignor pruitt in midnight yeah, you're talking about hamish linkletter. that doesn't sound right. he's got like a weird name. that's hamish linkletter, bro! the fuck just happened? this is so real, you have one ice cream cone and the machine breaks. that's it just a key though! a key came out of it! yes!
1:20:29 you got it. you doing okay? yoo hoo. hello. hey, every once in a while you gotta crash out in the walk in, i understand.
1:21:09 we don't have a walk in freezer. so it's the next person. yes, sir. motherf jesus. can't get back. what the hell? is that ludwig? did anyone else hear that? is he here? what the hell? i'm freaking out.
1:21:41 i'm freaking the fuck out, man. you know what they say, divinity in the places with those with the eyes to see, etc, etc. anyone from 100% will help you. you ever play rimworld? you always need someone to haul. hauling is like the most oh shit! the he who put that there? i was about to say, protective. they're so well snagged that you just threw yourself down. i was trying to do the milk crate challenge.
1:22:10 dude, we're actually... why are we getting further away from the quota every day? every day that goes on we get further from the quota. how does this... what are we running? like a subway? like we're just slowly going out of business? oh shit. where's the... oh, there it is. okay, order's incoming. i got it y'all. i got it. i got power. don't even worry about me. oh wait, you got power.
1:22:41 that was good. that was really good. holy cow. but it didn't work though. oh shit, it didn't work. oh my god. now i can't even see to get down the staircase. i feel like it might have bugged, yeah. so the power is on but we're just in darkness. wait, hello? hello? oh jesus. oh, it's anti grav now too. wait, incredible. can you guys see?
1:23:20 can you see up here? oh great, and there's a fucking monster as well. blast him! i hate this fucking job, man. can't even see the damn stains on the ground so i'm just mopping blind. motherfucker. shit wasn't even fucking charged up, man. what the hell? jerma? there's only one way out. y'all!
1:24:09 i think i might have just hit the jackpot. wait, wait, wait, wait. we're so close. we're so close. if it's three planets we're going to the, it's okay. lock it, lock it, lock it and send it again. because if this becomes three planets, we're hitting another jackpot.
1:24:41 please, please, please, please, please. scans, we go again, we go again, it's that simple. moons, moons, what the hell? is he in there for luck or something? yeah, he's like a troll doll when you play bingo. no, wait, i was on it, but i'm on a heater. i have three moons, i have a three moon line.
1:25:14 39% quota. what the hell? and better slot machines! sans? wait, he's angry.
1:25:54 what do you mean get him? i'm going on the new machines. why is what i don't like to gamble while this guy's saying kill them all next to me. i literally think i'm up by the way. is anyone here? am i talking to myself? i literally think i'm up.
1:26:33 triple planet, yeah triple planet. woah woah woah woah woah! that'll buy us a little bit more time to gamble. fuck this. galaxies. galax oh dude! wait wait wait. all hands on deck. all hands on deck. ready? we fucking did it!
1:27:12 i don't believe it! it's still spitting them out! just when they said it couldn't be done! oh... oh... maybe just one more real quick. oh! let another one go! let's send another one!
1:27:51 you guys can keep it running but i gotta go in in 10 minutes so i'm probably i'm tapped either way but i feel like i did my part with the jackpot at the end. i understand the restaurant can't run without me even for a single day the restaurant they need me whatever team needs me to bleed i'll bleed. it fixed it.
1:28:18 i think so, i just... oh! are you... i'm sorry, i'm bad. i was waiting a while, so i thought i would boot up my favorite song. i felt like i heard morgan freeman at the start of that. that sounds bad. we have the gun? there's no gun there, there's no gun there.
1:28:50 there's a lightsaber! stunt, he's stunned! he's only stunned! fuck it bro. i ain't going out like this. jesus, what if he slips? jesus christ, it's slippery in here.
1:29:38 she's really earning the shit out of that nine dollars per hour. damn giga is working hard. someone's sticking up the cash register. 58.
1:30:10 he is fucking working. you're kidding me. i'm dying. i'm dying. i'm dying. i'm the worker. no, we're 58 though. oh, i think we're all done y'all. it's docked in! it's docked in! it's docked in! i'm just staying here. where am i? where? where? i'm getting attacked and i'm getting healed at the safe top.
1:30:42 mop him up, mop him up. i can't get out, i can't get out of the healing pod! i'm banging on the glass like an android's infecting people with alien embryos! what the whoa! he rest, he rest.
1:31:15 good job mary, good job. i had to buy a new gun off of the thing but, linking into the wall. oh shit. hey man, you know, hina also does stuff sometimes. oh okay, okay. i just, we all died and you were literally she's up there, she's up there. you were in the kitchen just going, okay order 51, two patties of lettuce and tomato. the hell is this? he's surfing man, are you seeing this?
1:31:48 i'm putting more burgers up. the hell is this? oh, he's so creepy! hi. oh no, is everyone dead? uh oh. wait, everyone's dying? i can't help this guy. this might be it for our intrepid heroes. oh my god. it's over. damn. wait, so is there some sort of tell that we need to look through these? oh my god.
1:32:29 we all died, they sent a shareholders email. you know what? it literally killed us all at 2pm.
1:32:42 you know, i gotta say there was a note where they were like, hey, don't take every customer. some of them aren't what they seem. and i think they just took every customer. i think that there's nothing wrong with not discriminating. they also start complaining. they're like, don't look at me or don't speak near me. yeah, they do say stuff like that. they just need to meet their special needs. true.
1:33:09 i'm trying to be accommodating to people next time we just shoot them all. i agree. shoot them all. i don't think that's a very sound business plan. shoot all greens. ashton, that's worse! that's not how you work! i was taking account in my head. it was like if we sat a green guy, he was always a little bit rowdy. ashton, you can't say that!
1:33:34 they're always coming in and they're leaking all over the store. that's right, it's pattern recognition. she's not wrong. and guess what the color of the alien rats were? that's right, green. okay, so it all comes full circle. i don't know if i can sign off on this. i am not involved in any form or any...
1:33:55 hey, you guys just work. i'll go out there and tell them. we're gonna have an hr meeting about this. you're all good. he has all the hard conversations. yeah, i'll break the news to him. don't worry. i'm out of here, y'all. it was a pleasure. great work. anyone does want to say something before we end? amen.
1:34:19 amen, brother. no, no, no. like the saying like, hey, i stream this time. come follow me. you can't force me to say anything. i won't do it. about anyone else. yeah, make me. yeah, we don't exist outside of the stream. yeah. once you take your meds, we're all going to disappear. i got to not play a first person game tomorrow, bro.
1:34:45 i know it sounds convenient to say it twice in a row. it gave me the exact kind of motion sickness that makes you not that nauseous, but yawn a little bit. especially when the whole screen was black for like 45 minutes. but we hit that fucking jackpot though. yeah, we're disc golfing tomorrow. either way, i'll send you over to my wife's stream and i will be back tomorrow. thanks for being here. i had a great time. see you then. later!
1:35:16 just waking up in the morning, gotta thank god i don't know, but today seems kinda odd no barking from the dog, no smog mama cooked the breakfast with no log i got my glove on, but didn't pig out finally got a call from the girl i wanted to help hooked it up for later, as i ate the dough thinking where i live, i know they're 24
1:35:44 i got a goal cause i got me a drop top and if i hit the street i can make it and drop had to stop at a red light lookin in my mirror not a jacket inside and everything is alright i got a beat from hand and she can do it all night i called up the homies and i'm askin y'all which park are you in? basket's on me on the court and i'm trouble masked from this mess around and got a triple double
1:36:14 i'm making brothers every way like mj. i can't believe today was a good day.