the magic of soundfonts - Bits and Banter [06⧸02⧸2026]

Name: the magic of soundfonts - Bits and Banter [06⧸02⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-06-05
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "the magic of soundfonts - Bits and Banter [06⧸02⧸2026]" — 287 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-06-05

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0:00 librarian, you here? what's june in mandarin? i'm going to assume that it's lìyì. lìyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. lììyì. l
0:30 it's too fucking hot this morning, man. it's 89 here. oh, you mean... fucking... wait, i forgot. chi shi ba? chi shi... chi shi ba? you mean it's fucking chi shi ba today, bro? that's too much. that's way too fucking much. oh, you got... i got... i said 78. oh, you mean fucking it's ba shi... gio? it's fucking ba shi... that's even worse, man!
1:00 it's bah shir jio. how did you know? i've been working through my fucking flashcards, man. 6'7 in mandarin goes crazy. liou qi. liou qi. liou qi. also, apparently, my chinese teacher was telling me that in china, i don't know if 6'7 goes crazy, but apparently the younger kids, if you do something awesome, they say 666. they go, liou, liou, liou.
1:28 leo leo leo and they don't even mean it as like summoning the devil or whatever. it's kind of swag, honestly they aren't satanists. i don't know man. apparently like china's not one country it's like 80 countries that just have like a line drawn to include them all in one contiguous nation so i don't really know what the predominant
1:51 region of religion of china is like is some of the parts of china. it's like taoism. some of them i'm assuming it's maybe christianity. some of them are assuming is buddhism. some of them i'm assuming, i mean, i was reading about an ethnic group in china last night and i was like, i don't even know what the religion is. the religion was called like ba or something like that.
2:14 i don't know man. i'm learning a lot though. i'll tell you i'm learning a lot. tones tip, if the tone is going down, start a bit higher than neutral and come down to neutral. if the tone is going up, start below your neutral tone and come up to neutral. might help. thank you for that. i honestly, i have a hot take. guy who's been learning chinese for 10 days. i think it will be more effective for me to learn the tones from someone who has learned chinese as a second language than from someone who speaks
2:38 speaks chinese natively because my two cents so far is anytime someone who is like mandarin is a second language explains the tones i understand it way more. no offense to the native mandarin speakers but tone one is not a flat tone.
2:55 jin tian, that is not a flat tone. cade showed me a video where like a korean chinese speaker said, don't treat it as a flat tone, just make one of the highest notes that you can make with your normal speaking register. and i went, oh shit, that makes 10 times more sense. jin tian, flat tone to me is like jin tian.
3:17 which honestly, i don't know, that might be right too. but i seem to be getting a lot more praise when i hit a high note on xin jian, it's high and flat. yeah, but when people say flat, it ain't right, man. it's that the flatness is secondary to the pitch. the pitch is way more important. come to beijing. beijing de dong tian han long. beijing de dong tian
3:43 thailand. and you want me to come there? i don't know what summer is, but so i'm guessing the summer is fucking thailand if i had to guess. you never know mods. i know you're sticklers for the rules and i appreciate it. is this what goes on during the stream in the twitch part of the discord? like twitch turns into misc during the stream?
4:07 because they're not talking about the stream. someone posted an insNLy huge link, then someone else said, don't click this, this is a key logger. if you read the twitch channel while streaming, you'll understand why origin hates every single person in there. i can understand that.
4:27 also, it's a tripartite dilemma, because there's the streamers, the mods and the chat, who are their own, you know, they have their own factions.
4:39 alliances, allegiances, their own petty axis to grind, etc, etc. i occasionally have beef with the mods, but i have way more understanding for the mods when people are fucking around in the discord and then a mod says, hey, don't do that. and then one other person goes, hey, i'm going to do it specifically because you said not to do it, but i'm going to do it as a joke.
5:06 and then they get like timed out for a week and then they start crashing out in like the mod dms that are like, that's the fascist moderation here is so ridiculous, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. i'm like, you're just, i mean, i get nature abhors a vacuum, man, but you gotta just quell that impulse and then, you know, do something else with your time. stop wasting everybody else's time. you're literally describing yeti? well, you know, this is why i have dms off on discord, so i don't know.
5:36 i shamed myself so much i'll eat the three months? you got banned from my discord for three months? the fuck did you do? for three months? i didn't even know we did that. no, no, no, it was a different place. okay, right. i mean your name is bald at 60 fps which i think is just a reference to me not having my display settings right.
6:00 on my pc, which is like crazy to make that your identity. so i'm basically just saying anything is believable when you have a name like that. something that encapsulates my identity a little bit, something that i could use as an identifier on this website to let people know what i'm all about.
6:25 what about this one, the streamers funny clip? that's crazy man. couldn't just be cyclingjake77. hobby plus first name plus height in inches. i have to say, i'm not crashing out on you. i'm hearing the crashing out allegations that i'm saying
6:44 i'm not crashing out. you're barking up the wrong tree with steely dan. no, sorry, not steely dan. i just saw someone say it in chat and read it like ron burgundy. you're barking up the wrong tree with lego batman. and i'll tell you why. it's just a fact of life.
6:58 you are now witnessing the first nostalgia wave for the stuff that you played when you were 12, but i'm at least one wave behind you, but possibly two to three waves behind you. so i did not play any of the lego adventure games when i was an impressionable age. so as a result, you are making, you're drawing a line around us when there should be one between us.
7:22 they were out in 07? yeah, i was 19 years old. i was drinking like 11 mcclays a night and like fucking being annoying to my friends about like wolf parade and shit. like it was like it was not at the time of my life when i was degenning lego star wars and shit in my in my room. i was drinking james reddy 5.5 and like you know throwing up over the back deck of our frat house man. i'm not saying that was cool by the way. that probably did like incalculable damage to my physical health that i'm still dealing with today.
7:50 i'm just letting you know that's the i'm not ignoring it because like oh i don't want to go back to the games i played when i was a kid. i didn't play this when i was a kid man. that's from a different era. this is why you're nostalgic for like spongebob. i'm nostalgic for shit like doug. like shit that is it doesn't even exist in the public consciousness anymore until someone my age has like four ipas and starts going like you fucking you didn't you don't know shit guys you fucking you didn't grow up with hey arnold okay?
8:20 you know helga, man. you didn't know we were living in a brat we had brat summer 1997, bro! helga pataki, angelica from rugrats. we had the original brat summer, man! you kids don't know shit!
8:39 you don't know shit about fucking patty mayonnaise, bro. imagine my surprise when i saw you. recess. that's why we, there's no fucking kids called randall anymore because of that show. do you fucking understand that? you know i'm doing the hand motion too, you know, from, librarian, you can put it in the video.
8:59 when the guy at the football game is talking to the girl and he's short and he's got the sunglasses on. that's why there's no kids called randall anymore! it's because of recess! i love everybody popping off, talking about doug, and then there's one chatter. one of those things where you want him to play a game more so you have to not ask him about it. otherwise he gets all mad.
9:23 doesn't play it out of principle. i'm not saying you're wrong but like at the same time we're all having a fun time like doing the bit and now you're coming up with like a life hack to get your favorite game played on the stream
9:37 that's so crazy. why are you reading the discord? it's got my name on it. my name's on the fucking door. what, you're just, to me? you're one of an incalculable number of motherfuckers in this chat that has a pokemon avatar. my avatar is my fucking face. so don't condescend to me about obscuring my true identity here. my name is on the marquee! you guys seen marie antoinette? i don't understand why everyone hates her, bro. she's literally just doing her best.
10:06 also, her husband is too manly. louis xvi is too manly, bro. he's always waking up at the crack of dawn and going off on hunts of the stag. he's literally too manly to sire an heir.
10:22 the bourgeoisie deserve it. she's literally a child. she's literally a minor until 72 minutes into the movie where she turns 18 and at 18 years and one second old i'm like, fuck this bitch. fuck you.
10:38 nouveau riche landed gentry motherfucker. fucking dickhead. anyway, i hope everything goes well for her. i'm not quite at the end of the movie yet. she makes it out. i'm like, i know, i've only got half an hour left. i just don't buy that they're gonna chop off her head. she honestly, it seems like everything's going pretty well for her right now. i just don't see it happening, man. i don't see it happening.
11:04 i feel like it's gonna be like one of those, um, clap your hands, say yeah type situations. it's gonna end with, uh, like a quentin tarantino style, once upon a time in hollywood fan fiction ending where you spend the whole thing waiting for the manson murders and then at the end they go, you know, she actually runs away from versailles right before robespierre gets there or something. now once the dogs will quit their barking
11:31 son, my neighbor said to me, you know what's crazy, ecamp, is you told me to fly to orange county and start taking pomelos off people's yards, which is truly hilarious. we're living in a different world. other day, i got my mail, opened up my front door, there were two fucking pomelos on our front step.
11:52 a family friend brought us two pomelos and just left them on our front step. we're getting them delivered, man. for free!
12:02 and we haven't even cut them yet, but i've just been squeezing them because they got that mattress foam, which i mean that in a positive way. it's like a satisfyingly squishy fruit. so you're kind of like, i just squeeze it a little bit and then think about what it's going to be like when i peel it. did you figure out who sent them? yeah, man. i figured out who sent them. i went to the group chat and said, hey, did you drop pomelos off at our house?
12:25 honestly, part of the reason i want to learn mandarin is so i can get the wechat fresh fruit hiccups. hiccups? hookups. i don't know if you guys are living in a city where this is the case. knowing mandarin actually opens up a lot of fucking doors in vancouver. so every once in a while we'll be over at a friend's house and they'll have the most beautiful fruit
12:48 or vegetables i've ever seen in my entire life. and we go like, where did you get that? and they go, oh, there's, it's kind of like a, if you know, if you know sort of situation. they're like, there's like a clandestine fruit market on the other side of the city that organizes bulk fruit buys on wechat.
13:07 so you know what would be crazy is me popping into the wechat, and i don't know any fruits in mandarin yet, but me popping into the group chat and being like, i'll take eight cases of pomelo in like perfect fucking mandarin, and then 2.45 p.m. the next day, knock, knock, knock, bet you didn't expect this motherfucker right here, bet you didn't expect this guy to show up. they're gonna be like, can i help you? and i'm gonna say some shit like, wo bu shi mai guo ren.
13:36 ni shou wo du peng you, wou jiao chong long. wou jiao chong long. bro, you are not jackie chan. how do you say the woke jackie chan in mandarin? doesn't jackie speak cantonese? you can hate the guy. he does speak like 15 languages or something. i know he speaks mandarin, cantonese, english and taiwanese at a minimum. like the dude is a certified polyglot. certified what?
14:06 what do you mean jackie chan speaks taiwanese? bro, take it up with the wikipedia editors. go to chung long's wikipedia page and tell me what language is it says that he speaks. go to the website, go to wikipedia, type in chung long. it'll probably say, did you mean jackie chan? and then you'll see. why did i type dark raimi? brain is not all there today, man. okay, so we're in the american southwest in a station wagon.
14:38 could be like five easy pieces or something. i don't know. i'll just be honest with you. i don't know what this is. hi, i'm alice. alice. alice doesn't live here. oh shit! that's fucking huge bro!
14:59 is that an early scorsese? i think i might have it on my watch list. by the way, people are always asking, anna, what are you watching? what are you watching? i finally offered an olive branch. i put a watch list on letterboxd of the stuff that i, as of right now, am going to watch in june, okay?
15:17 so if you go to my watch list on letterboxd, those are the movies that i'm going to watch in june. however, and they're all on criterion, however the fucking one of the movies, i can't remember which, it's the david lynch movie about the guy going cross country on the riding lawnmower. that one is not on canadian criterion, okay? yeah, the straight story. that's not on canadian criterion, unfortunately. so i'm going to take that one off
15:44 that's only on the american one, i think. and maybe i'll put on wild at heart instead, which is also, it's now on criterion. crazy watching the straight story during pride month. first person to make the joke, also don't sweat it. we got fresh kill on there as well. this is justin theroux, 100%. and that's the crazy poll. i don't know who, i think you're giving a combination of lorde and kate hudson. i think those are kate hudson's eyelashes.
16:27 mandy moore? oh, i think it is mandy moore. tobuscus. you know the difference between shi and x yet? every chinese person that's found out that i'm learning mandarin, wow, great job. you're doing pretty well so far. every white person that took one half semester of mandarin in the ninth grade, he still doesn't have the tone sorted out. oh, brother.
16:58 it's so crazy, man. it's so insane. it was the 12th grade? that's even more embarrassing because that's more recent, bro. you should be speaking mandarin right now. chi chi? excuse me. i never even said chi chi. i said shay shay two weeks ago. but now we're on that fucking tai shay shay la. we're on that fucking... oh.
17:20 nin tai kuchi. we're not even, we passed shay shay bro. we're way past shay shay. we're on like nin tai kuchi. don't even fucking start with me. because you know, actually you, first off, we're not using nin for you. we're using ni and you are not tai kuchi. you are bu tai kuchi. you are bu tai kuchi. you are not too fucking polite, okay? fuck me i guess.
17:46 i wasn't talking to you. i was talking to that. i made 10,000 people cry because i was talking to that one person. i don't know how to break the news to my chinese teacher though that i'm not going to be watching any chinese dramas. i don't even watch dramas in english. i'm not going to start watching them in chinese just to be like, oh, i understand like a sentence or two. like that's just, it's just not going to happen. no, i'm not. i'll do a lot to learn mandarin chinese, but i am not going to watch an 11
18:15 season with 40 episodes per season drama. it's just not going to happen. wong kar wai is good enough. that's cantonese brother. it's cantonese. embarrassing. and you know what? i shouldn't be offended because i'm not chinese yet, but i watched four cantonese movies last week and like half the comments on letterboxd, because nobody else has fucking seen them apparently, even though they're peak,
18:40 half the comments on letterboxd are like, wow, he's on his mandarin arc. bro, all the sammo hung movies are in cantonese. you don't even know what you're being pithy about. they are fake, man. we're surrounded by fakes and frauds. wait, wait, wait. okay. british foods, jacket potato mash, bubble and squeak and chaps. british names for foods. british potato dishes. british potato dishes.
19:10 a helmet, a crest, a shield, and a coat of arms associated with nobility in the medieval era. paraldic achievements. hush, hush, top secret, cloak and dagger, covert, clandestine. i fucking knew that i nailed the category name too. oh, at the new york times they were dying to put clandestine as the descriptor. it's so elegant.
19:38 and then tin can grape must free will and cape may. i don't know, man. steinbeckian adjectives. ending in modal auxiliary verbs. yep. ending in modal auxiliary verbs. all right. i don't buy this shit, so if we get it wrong, who cares? i honestly feel like people should be like googling the fuck out of the tampa bay rays right now. they should be like, how is this team good? look, even the manager is like, what the fuck? he hit it again?
20:09 he hit the ball again? oh, what a strange coincidence. they're exactly the same amount of searches every single month. they say jesus christ, not quite as searched. jesus christ looking a little bit like lord. can i say that? i don't know if this is like a recent kind of like a makeover or something. he's got a certain lordness going on in his visage. he's shy.
20:43 he actually does do the thing that i do when someone lets me in. when i'm like trying, when there's a, i have a stop sign but the opposite sides have like, or i have a, whatever. when i'm driving it happens all the time. it's complicated. tones and i, this one's really tough because i, tones and i, 5,000 people hear this every day in walmart but it only counts as one play. i still think it's got to
21:11 no? okay, you know what? that tells me how popular the baby is. paramore is deep in millennial nostalgia plus gen z pop punk revivalism. so i think paramore might be part of the zeitgeist right now in a big way. against the ice, really bad movie that i have seen back when netflix, they're going to do a fucking netflix documentary about how
21:39 bottled netflix got, how much they bottled having like a complete monopoly in the fucking film industry. because their brand was so strong that they would literally just come out with a movie and you would be like, oh, watch it because it's on netflix. they fucked it up, man. now it's like the only thing that makes me less likely to want to see a movie than seeing the netflix logo on the poster is seeing
22:06 now available on prime video. because like in the whole, like i don't want to glaze netflix, but if we're talking about what direct to streaming service has the worst slop, it's 100% prime video. but netflix is like, why did i watch this? because i, what did you do when you were done your work? you fucking opened netflix. oh shit, new movie with jamie lannister on netflix? if netflix vouches for it, i'll fucking watch that. garbage! it's not, 6.5 is so generous.
22:38 john lennon's molar? i mean, that's got to be a lie. i'm gonna say this was 75 grand. let's do this crazy queen victoria's underwear. the measuring tape is so insulting. measuring tape is so funny.
23:02 they really had the auctioneer doing the deuce bigelow line. they really had the auctioneer going, that's a huge bitch. i didn't want to say it, but it made the joke better. don't be mad at me. deuce bigelow wrote that, man, or rob schneider or whatever. that's got it. that's less. i would almost buy that just for the joke.
23:22 like i think that's just funny. i think it would be hilarious to have someone come over and they'd be like, what's that? i'd be like, they'd be like, oh, you left your underwear on the ground. i'd be like, yeah, bro. uh, oh wait, that's not my underwear. that's fucking queen victoria's underwear, bro. didn't you see the vr on it? you're probably don't say that. i can't say i was going to say i might be able to sell some of mine for more. uh, i still think it clears the
23:48 pastiche the satire of modern art which is already satirizing never mind i that was the original my bad y'all i thought that was an echo age mozart was when he wrote his first symphony i say is like eight and a twinkie probably lasts like 1500 days oh it lasts 45 days all right you're supposed to click more by the way guys you're supposed to click more
24:20 there's no shot that meryl streep has been nominated for more than 45 oscars. i mean, she's a very decorated actress, but 45 is insane. i do think that there's more shark attacks. i mean, 21 is a small amount of shark attacks. that 65 seems about right. saturn's rings, i don't know. i feel like there could be like 30,000. no, there's seven apparently.
24:50 koala literally, i just read a book about koalas with my daughter. it said koalas sleep up to 24 hours a day. yeah, okay, fair enough. my dream? honestly, i don't give a fuck if koalas are mean.
25:13 i think they're cute. i mean, everybody thinks they're cute, but then someone who's got a subscription to national geographic always goes, yeah, but they're like really mean. you'd probably be mean too if you had to sleep 22 hours a fucking day in order to reach metabolic equilibrium. and then some motherfucker was like poking you going like, hey, wake up, wake up. bro, this ain't a joke. i have to sleep 92% of every fucking day or i will waste away.
25:42 i'll go fucking catabolic. meanwhile, your ass has control of what you eat 100% and you're like, oh, i can't do agile development in my daily standups without 210 grams of protein every single day. like you're fucking cranky for no reason, bro. they really got you bent the fuck over. koalas are innocent, man. same thing with the damn geese.
26:04 oh geese, oh they're such nasty creatures. they are nasty but they're not nasty because they're mean, they're nasty because their poop gets everywhere.
26:12 that you think they're nasty because like you walk over to them when they're literally raising their fucking kids out in the middle of a busy city street. and i don't know if you've ever looked up like goose mortality, but like 90% of them ain't making it to adulthood. let's put it that way. and then you're like, they should be, they should be graced by my presence as a highly evolved human being. and instead the goose goes like, eh,
26:38 it goes like, back off! back off! there's like nine of my fucking kids here behind me. get the fuck away! oh, so rude! motherfucker. you're from the big city, you don't see geese? any vancouverites want to educate this fool? i see people stopping traffic for geese all the time and you gotta watch where you fucking step, man. there is poop everywhere. they should find a way to get the poop out of there but like the geese, i don't really worry about the geese
27:10 raising their kids man. california sliced almonds on such a winner's day 32 ounces to freedom. ah two pounds of all i feel like this would still i think this is gonna be like $17.99 almonds are expensive man. never mind two pounds of almonds apparently not that much $5.99 i was like 400% $649 damn
27:37 why is it, and i think that we, let's start from the fundamentals here. i would rather have whole almonds than sliced almonds. do people agree with this? at least if we're talking about like having a handful of them for a snack or something. maybe if you're using them in baking it might be a different story or in a salad, true. never mind, i just realized like i'm completely ignorant of
28:06 economics. because i was like, why wouldn't they just leave all almonds whole then because they could sell them for more? and then i was like, well, there's a discoverable market for like, slivered almonds and i was like, it's just boring. there's no point. i'm allergic to them. i like almonds, but i would say honestly, you're not missing out. like there. there's other foods that like missing out on marzipan kind of sucks if you're allergic to almonds, but like straight almonds are just just fine, i would say.
28:35 also, the older i get, the more that almonds in particular get stuck in my fucking teeth. and then you use the water pick at night and you've got like, it feels like you've got like a whole sheet of like eight and a half by 11 almond skin stuck in the spaces in between your teeth and your gums at night. and then you start to think, oh shit, what about all those years i was eating almonds when i didn't even floss? like that shit might still be in there, man.
29:03 all those almonds i was eating in 04 when i was like, flossing's a scam. i don't know what ever happened to that shit man. maybe the dentist got it. holy fuck, it's adjacent to gabon. i tried to do a stage dive man, that was crazy. we're not carrying your ass? some of you would, some of you. honestly, the...
29:33 i'm not fucking with the ones who would drop me. i'm not fucking with the ones who would have two hands on me either. i'm kind of, my people are the ones who are like, i'll help them along a little bit, but i'm still going to be looking at my phone. those are my kindred spirits there. motherfucker, man. looks like a damn dog rolling over asking for a pet. are you gabon? wouldn't that be something? oh shit, are you congo?
30:05 oh, dude! yes, man! you just saw it? i wasn't looking at that shit. as soon as i saw green, i was just starting to think about spider man too, man.
30:17 march 1st, 1991. i'm just going to say it, 1991, one of the most visually satisfying years to look at in text. obviously, it's got the palindromic level. i also think there's a certain contrast between the verticality, the rigidness of the ones, and then the curved sort of freewheeling spiritedness of the nines. 2002 is pretty good too. 2002, that's a good looking year. 1985 goes hard.
30:45 it does 1985 it does it does look nice in my mind's eye yeah 20th century fox starring julia roberts 91 i mean it certainly could be pretty woman it's a it's a thriller starring julia roberts she's a stranger in a small town okay it sounds like this movie is going to be called witness protection maybe just witness i don't think i know this one man
31:12 a young woman fakes her own death to escape her nightmarish marriage, but discovers it's impossible to elude her controlling husband. sleeping with the enemy. heard of it, didn't know anything about it. look at the world we used to live in, man. never heard of the movie, or never, unaware of its plot synopsis at least. $101 million in 1991. $101 million. that is like a billion dollars now. they adjusted for inflation, this is going to outperform the mandalorian versus grogu.
31:42 john goodman first billed actor in 1991 in a comedy. it's not the flintstones. the flintstones is like 93 and peter o'toole, a comedy of, this is king, king ralph, king ralph. yes. okay. as the only relative in line to ascend the royal throne, a down on his luck american slob must learn the ways, the exotic ways of the english.
32:15 he's kinda got that shit on, man. the shoes with the tongues over the fucking slacks is a look and a half, man. 20th century fox made a ton of money. starring macaulay culkin. okay.
32:29 home alone, i'm guessing. you know what's crazy though? here's how much of an impact home alone had on the culture. it's march, bro. we're talking like st. patrick's day, still the number five movie at the multiplex. people are still like, let's go fucking see a christmas movie. that's how much impact this had. time did move slower back then. i swear
32:54 i mean, your memory as like a nine year old is not 100% reliable, obviously. but i swear toy story 2 played in my local movie theater for like five or six months. like i saw it maybe in the summer of 2000 or 1998 or something. and like six months later, it still had a screen. and this was like a four screen movie theater. i guess back in like the 30s, like shit like gone with the wind would just play for like
33:24 three years straight or something. spider man 2 must have been in there for six months. i saw spider man 2 three times in theaters for sure. so it was around for a minute, no doubt about that. how about jesus' son? who's that? billy crudup? samantha morton? run! tom? oh yeah, we can do this. samantha morton, minority report. that takes you to tom cruise, tropic thunder, robert downey jr., iron man 2, mickey rourke.
33:54 i don't fuck with mickey rourke. giving him like seventh billing in iron man 2 is crazy. he wants his fucking board, man. and then the wrestler. time? they should not be giving mickey rourke fucking sixth billing in iron man 2. that's so fucked up, man. he's gotta be billed higher than pepper potts. pepper potts? no, i'm not even as anti gueneth as the average online denizen, but please, all she does, she's in the movies for like five seconds. she says some shit like, tony?
34:25 he's not the main antagonist. will you talk? whiplash is the main antagonist of iron man 2, man. this is your brain on sam rockwell. this is your brain on jojo rabbit. sam rockwell is a, justin hammer is a deuteragonist or deuteragonist. he's a secondary antagonist, man. every stream you say 12 words i've never heard before. wo bu shi mai guo ren. how about that? there's six for you. i don't really know what a word is in chinese. is a word
34:56 akin to a character? like what is a word? i'd have to, i don't know. sometimes it's a character, sometimes it's multiple characters. when you write in simplified chinese, do you have periods to denote a sentence or do you just fucking send it? or is every new line a sentence or like what's, yeah they have periods, okay, good to know.
35:18 it's fucked up man. gabe, i feel for you. i'm not trying to be the worst asshole of all time. but i'm pretty sure you were drafted when i was like 33. they're doing you dirty with that hairline and i'll tell you like before you get mad at me, takes one to know one. so like just the way of the fucking road man. i'm pretty weren't you drafted in like 2018 or something like that? who the fuck is sparks man? i don't think i've ever heard of sparks.
35:45 who's krog? i actually have no idea who krog is. i do. i know eric belanger. boycott. a verb meaning to engage in a concerted refusal to have... yeah, we're gamers. we know how to spell boycott. turret.
36:01 a noun meaning a little... yeah, we're gamers. we're gamer guys. we know how to spell turret. angry. a adjective meaning... we're gamer guys. we know how to spell angry. squeak. a verb meaning to utter or make a sh... we're streamer guys. we oftentimes misspell squeak. horrid. an adjective meaning innately... alright, well the joke's run its course. corsair. a noun meaning... we're gamer guys. we know how to spell corsair. cathect.
36:27 a verb meaning to invest with mental or emotional energy. the word cathectic is derived from the back formation of cathexis, cathect. a verb meaning to... i honestly don't know cathect or cathect. i don't know. you're a spellcheck, we have to know. is this an aardvark doing spellcheck? and he's bringing them like the first dictionary they ever had or something like that? white rum galliano.
36:55 any cocktail, you gotta start with like italy. shit man, maybe this is the caribbean. rum, jamaica, yellow, but it's any caribbean country apparently. if i'm being honest with you, this is kind of a performative yum, because i don't drink. and i know you can say you can get a mocktail. i'll tell you, i've wasted money on some things in my life. learn from my mistakes. number one thing i've wasted money on in my life was at a nice restaurant.
37:26 getting the mocktail pairing that goes with every single dish that was served. i said, this is going to be a nice meal. i don't drink. sure. let's get the, i'm not going to get the wine pairing cause i don't drink, but i'll get the mocktail pairing cheaper than the alcoholic pairing. but there was no reason to be drinking it because they were just like, here's a non alcoholic gin and tonic. and you're like, why am i drinking
37:49 why am i drinking like eight sugary non alcoholic drinks? like it's that are just designed to taste like alcoholic drinks. it was not worth it. one mocktail maybe but i'm telling you a uh i mean a four dollar coke zero would have gone crazy. let's put it that way. a four dollar coke zero with free refills would have would have hit the spot too. you know what i want to add to my vocabulary but i need you to tell me it's okay. is standing on business the same as being
38:20 i'm trying to think of, you know what, maybe just let me google it here for one second. are you not clocking to you that i'm standing on business right now? the slang 10 toes down means being completely loyal and unwavering in your beliefs and actions. okay, i was worried that standing on business meant having principles and sticking to them and 10 toes down meant like
38:43 bending over and getting fucked up the ass, which is fine, but it was not the meaning i'm going for. so i would rather find out now that that's what it means than be in polite conversation and be like, yeah, i mean, every time i'm on stream, i'm like 10 toes down, because they might think they might get the wrong idea. they might get the wrong idea.
39:05 anyway, what i was trying to say is i'm ten toes down on the idea that fucking mocktails should be cheaper. they should be like 30% the price of the cocktail instead of 75% the price of the cocktail. because like you can just you can do math you could do algebra.
39:20 a coke zero is like four bucks. a rum and coke zero is like 12 bucks. so if you have a fucking gin and tonic and it's 16 bucks, how is the tonic with no gin like $11? it doesn't make, the algebra doesn't make sense. the rent? they're paying the rent on the coke zero too, man!
39:43 labor and juice, they're doing the labor for the coke zero, man. you know what we need to do? we need to start marketing a perfect pour of coke zero the same way that guinness markets the perfect pour of guinness. we need to start pushing like social media, short form videos of people going like, and then letting it simmer for like 90 seconds and then tilting the glass back to like a 90 degree angle then
40:15 to get like the perfect, the perfect foamy head on it. and then, then you split the fucking z. yes, man. 90 degrees is sideways. it depends on your frame of reference point, dexter. open unity sometime. go, go ahead and see what the z dimension is. make sure you're sitting down. does it say dae? caternions or so? i just can't wrap my head around caternions. come on, bro.
40:41 it's a fucking vector that indicates a position and orientation in three dimensional space. get a clue bozo. explain to us younger folk what was the deal with jerry springer. well you've opened up a can of worms. jerry springer, maury, montel, all these daytime talk shows that you would watch when you were homesick from school. i'll start by saying they're extremely exploitative. the point of the show was you would watch it and be like man these people's lives are a mess
41:09 i'm glad it's not me. like that's, you would watch it and there would be like some schadenfreude but like entertainment. nowadays they, and i'm, it's probably better, but like the original reaction that people would have to them is probably like this is extremely exploitative and fucked up.
41:29 but i don't know, you guys are like literally all on live stream fail anyway. and i know because you tell me, so maybe they just have laundered it in a different way and presented it to you. and now you're guzzling it down, man. i don't know. what i'm trying to say is we're not so different. pork hamburger. is this the bun?
41:52 why does the bun, is the bun made of pork? like it has the same consistency as like canned meat. the bun is also meat or like what's going on? what is this also? is that a, are they doing this? are they pointing with the pinky? did pete davidson take the picture? like what is this man? did you tell the chat the story of when our teacher asked how to say handsome man? i didn't.
42:25 but our teacher did ask kate, how do you say handsome man? and then neither of us remembered. the teacher was like, well, what if you saw like a handsome guy on the street? what would you say? and then kate said, i'm allergic to handsome men on the street. and the teacher was cracking the fuck up.
42:41 and i was cracking up, i said, good answer. and then the teacher said, okay, imagine it was beautiful woman instead. and i think our teacher might have gotten the wrong idea. i thought we were all laughing because kay and i are married, but i think now maybe the teacher might have inferred that there was something different going on.
43:04 which is fine, and i'm sure it happens. it happened to ross. it happened to ross on friends, so i'm sure it could happen to anybody. if it could happen to ross, it could happen to anybody. it's gotta be classic hot dog and chips versus the pork sandwich.
43:21 do they not know you're a couple? i don't think she really gives a fuck to be honest. i think she's just like, you know, and i appreciate this. i think she's just doing her job really. i don't think our personal life is like any business. she doesn't she doesn't don't start nothing won't be nothing. i don't know man because this is nothing like i don't know what this is. these are not chicken wings. this is like the thumb ring is fucking taking me out.
43:48 that's before you got me sprung with your thumb ring. i ain't gonna lie. your nuggets get me high. i mean this, people don't fuck with this. i like this, but people don't really fuck with this that much, but this looks horrible. i think it'll still win. that's not a 17 point, that looks, the bread at least looks fucking good, man. this is such a fucking japanese photo, man. oh, you know all the comments are like, fucking, oh, melon soda at the
44:19 i mean, i would eat this for lunch, but it's not for everybody. so we'll go with the melon soda on that one. california state motto is in what language? doric, ionic and lesbian are all dialects of what language? i would think that is greek. what's california's state motto then? this state has ingredients known to the state of california to be carcinogenic. now you're a real knower at that point.
44:53 when you sit down for dinner at the californian restaurant and they say, hey, just before you order, you should know everything on the menu is carcinogenic. i say, yes, that's fine. i know where i am. little charges used to extract ore in mexican silver mines might have lent their name to what popular food? tamales? shworma loving lebanese immigrants to mexico invented the al pastor style of what casual food? taco? tacos?
45:24 little charges used to it because i thought a tamale kind of looks like a stick of dynamite but a taco doesn't really look like a i mean, it looks like a pancake i guess you're lucky you hit the qte
45:38 i think my community would forgive me for saying a bad word like lesbian. i think they would be like, hey man, everybody misspeaks from time to time in the heat of the moment. he was really focused on the game and i don't believe that that's part of his vernacular in his home life. they would have forgiven me for that man, for sure.
46:00 sort these breakfast cereals by their per gram added sugar content starting with the most. okay, well raisin bran is not sweet. rice krispies also not sweet. i would say even less sweet than raisin bran. now, i have to imagine cinnamon toast crunch is literally covered in sugar, which is why it's awesome. damn, okay, i'm surprised. can i get a flip on these then? not okay. a little surprising to me, to be honest. cinnamon toast crunch
46:30 less than honey nut cheerios. this is kind of like, it's blowing my mind in a bad way because sometimes i want to buy cereal and i go, well, cheerios are healthy, but i'm not eating cheerios, like plain yellow box cheerios because they don't taste good. so i'll make a slight compromise and get honey nut cheerios, which are obviously like a little bit worse for you, but still good because they're still cheerios.
46:57 finding out that they're actually like 33% added sugar. they're already like 100% carbohydrates, but added sugar by weight is crazy. me swapping out raisin bran for raisin bran crunch, i don't blame you because like...
47:13 that's a cereal that like other adults like that i don't fuck with. i don't find, i would rather eat the default rice krispies than the default raisin bran. it's like the bran is just sort of like whatever, you could take it or leave it. and then the raisins are like exactly the same. i could take it or leave it. i don't hate raisins, i don't love raisins. when i eat one, i'm like, i'm eating a raisin, no big deal. more pedestrian slash cyclist fatalities. this one's always tough.
47:43 because like minnesota to me has a stronger cycling culture, but that doesn't mean that there's less per capita. i think like there's a lot of factors that go into that because like something being cyclist friendly could have more cyclist fatalities per capita because more people are incentivized to bike. i still gotta go with georgia. in atlanta they have those psychos that bike through traffic doing wheelies and shit. i don't even wanna
48:15 i'm the number one cyclist defender. here's what you need to know on the road, okay? on the road, everybody hates everybody. it's not cyclists versus pedestrians versus drivers. it's my vehicle that i'm presently in against all other vehicles, even if it's the same type of vehicle.
48:34 like when i'm, the way cyclists talk about driving is like, fuck drivers. they're like a united body that hates cyclists. when i'm in my car, i hate other drivers more than i hate anything else on planet earth. i'm like, why are you doing that? why are you looking at your phone? i usually got pissed off.
48:51 i was driving home the other day, the dude in front of me scrolling the whole time. now we were going slow, we were going like 20 30 kilometers an hour because there's a little bit of traffic, but he was driving and scrolling the whole time. why was i pissed off? because he was distracted. that's part of it. but i was also pissed off because the dude was driving really fucking well.
49:10 i wanted him to be driving like an asshole, but he was actually driving very courteously. he was noticing when people were like jaywalking. i was like, this is going to be a disaster. but then he was just like burp and then waving them forward, but like still looking at his phone. i was like, damn, this guy's kind of the goat at distracted driving. cyclists hate slower cyclists.
49:29 dude, for real. the assholes on the fucking seawall, which is supposed to be where you take like your instagram photos of being in vancouver, enjoying a nice leisurely ride on the seawall and some dude in full fucking skin tight floyd landis gear is hitting you with the on your left end getting by you at 40 kilometers an hour in like .02 seconds. go on the fucking road ass. it's a road bike!
49:50 you have a road bike, you have the fucking skin tight super suit that frozone has from the incredibles. why are you on the seawall bro? you belong on the road. we've got greenways! take the greenways!
50:05 cyclists on the seawall are the biggest pieces of shit in vancouver? well, except for those bozos in city hall. nbtl, you're climbing the chatter power rankings, by the way, because you told me that king of tokyo sucked. and i said, that's not true. king of tokyo is awesome. i've played it twice and i love it. you don't know what you're talking about. and then i played it and i was like, wait, this game kind of sucks. ignoring the product itself, which was
50:31 unbelievably bad. the game itself, i was like, there's so many rounds where like i got to make two decisions and then just died. and the decisions made were probably bad, but i didn't feel like i had a lot of opportunity to really emphasize any kind of autonomy and strategy. someone told me i could get nine on catfishing today if i lock in. 1903 nonfiction books about race and ethnicity, i just, i don't know it. the souls of black folk, i simply do not know it.
51:03 now i'm locking in. colombia, panama, border crossings. yeah, man. that's the panama canal. oh, shit. ethnic groups in the middle east. ethno religious groups in asia. indian religions. iranian religions. religions in india and iran and kurdistan. who said i was getting nine today? i mean, religion... i want to say that it's hindu.
51:46 zoroastrianism. you got the wrong guy. you got me confused with somebody else, man. 20th century american engineers. did you know that the wright brothers invented the fucking airplane when they were like 36 and 32 years old? now you might hear that and say, whoa, they locked in. i hear that. i'm telling you occam's razor for that is that it literally, the world used to be fucking easy. it used to be easier.
52:19 you could invent an airplane, a brand new form of transportation at age 32. the world used to be a simpler place. let's see your airplane? the world's harder now. all the easy shit's already been taken, bro. that's why i haven't invented anything. although i did invent the donut holes that are bagels filled with cream cheese. i invented that. i also really think that the orthopedic shoes for toe walkers could possibly address a market.
52:50 i think the total addressable market of orthopedic shoes for toe walkers is literally in the tens of millions of dollars. i'm not saying it's going to revolutionize the world, but i think that the total addressable market for it is tens of millions of dollars. wilbur wasn't doing shit. okay, orville was. you're telling me orville did the airplane shit and the popcorn, bro? people who have walked on the moon. when was this fucker born? 1930 died in 2012. are you neil armstrong, man?
53:17 by the way, i'm pissed off that you said i lost the 50 50 on this one. buzz aldrin's still alive, man. buzz aldrin, i wouldn't say he's chilling. isn't he like 102 or something? but still, he's still alive. neil armstrong, i'm pretty sure neil armstrong is the same age in this picture as i am now, which is insane. which just goes to show you the fucking world used to be easier. the dude, he was 39. there you go. he's 39 when he walked on the moon.
53:49 he literally went from zero. he had like seven careers before he walked on the moon. no love for michael collins even now. i love michael collins, man. he was the one who lied to mission control to say they're doing some science shit down on the moon while neil and buzz were sucking each other off because they fucking escaped from a world that wouldn't let them put their love on display and they had to go to the fucking moon to live wild and free, man.
54:16 michael collins told the lie that saved their relationship. they were down on the moon sucking and fucking each other, jerking each other off. and the cum is still flying around. it's probably made it farther than the voyager probe at this point because them boys were pent up if i had to guess. okay? and then mission control was like, hey, neil and buzz's heart rates have gotten elevated.
54:42 officer collins, can you tell us what's going on down there? oh, yeah, they're lifting houston they're lifting some heavy rocks they're out of breath because they're lifting some heavy rocks right now over he fucking saved them man born 1940 damn people born in 1940 are old as fuck now. i don't mean that disrespectfully. it's just every i'm
55:05 i do, and it doesn't depress me, but i think about it all the time. i think it's just natural as you get older. i'm 37, so i think back to like when i see a 74 year old or someone who looks to be in their mid 70s, i, the first thing i think about is
55:22 that person was my age on the day of my birth, which is crazy. and i feel like that tethers me to the idea that yes, one day i will be their age, hopefully, god willing, god willing i will be their age. whereas i feel like most people, especially at the younger periods of their lives, look at old people and they know logically that this is not the case. they know logically that people are born as babies and then grow into adults and then become senior citizens. but
55:50 they have been young their whole lives, so i think that they believe in the character creator. they just chose to be old. for some reason, they were like, oh, i don't know, why would you choose to be born old? like, they were old when i was born and i was young. i'm still young, they're still old. like, things never change, right?
56:12 when you will be faced with something, something will happen in your life or your health or something like that or you'll go through a milestone and you'll realize oh shit we're all just links on the motherfucking chain and like i am a baby right now. i'm 37 right now, i'm 25, i'm 62, i'm 90, i'm dead, i've never been born. we're all going through, we're all that super positioned on the same fucking timeline at the same time
56:38 really makes you think it creates a sense of brotherhood in your fellow man to see an old motherfucker and be like that motherfucker was just me in 1988 that dude and he's pissing me off
56:53 because he's got no signal light on, but he's clearly trying to turn left against like four lanes of traffic when you could just make three rights. you could just make three rights with absolutely no resistance whatsoever and not fuck anybody up. but either way, i'm like, that's me, bro. he is me. i am him in 1988 and he is fucking me in 2065.
57:17 cause like nancy pelosi was fucking 48 when i was born bro. and now she's fucking 86. doesn't seem real. but this is the youngest to me that she's ever gonna fucking be again. that's crazy. she does look good man, she looks good. now i was gonna say i'd love to see a no makeup selfie. just so fucked up.
57:45 such a fucked up impulse at the end of that bit for that to be the capstone. why are you always crazy on tuesdays? i think there's something about it. like literally friday night, saturday and sunday. and i think kate will be live in five minutes, but she'll back me up on this one. i am mentally fucking ddosed by my child for basically like 65 hours straight or something like that. hey, daddy,
58:16 daddy, can i show you something? daddy, look at this. that just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like over and over and over again. sometimes chaining like into itself. hey, daddy. yes, daddy, can i show you something? yes, daddy, look at this. like over and over. i think i honestly heard it 500 times this weekend. if i had a counter, i think i would have heard it 500 times this weekend. so on monday, monday is like my decompression date. let's do five hours of counter strike two basically.
58:46 and then tuesday i've recovered from the weekend by having a comfort day on monday and i can start to get to a higher plane of existence. i mean it might peak on tuesday, because then like sometimes on wednesday i'm like, we were fucking bringing it yesterday, let's do some counter strike on wednesday. kate said, i also say, hey daddy, if you ask me how i know i'mma plead the fifth,
59:16 it's the kind of town i could spend a few days in. i think this is like a 120 degree angle. wait, the opposite. i think it's a 240 degree angle. get it? well, they both fucked up guesses. oh shit. 263 degrees. wow, that was just embarrassing. i think that was the worst angle performance i've ever had in my entire life. 280 is unforgivable. i saw, i had the work order in my brain for
59:50 doing the math because here's here's what the shortcut i was gonna take it's the inverse of just over 90 degrees and then i my brain went i don't really want to do that and i said, you know what fair enough. let's just type in 280 i know it's less than less than 360. oh you turned yellow. sometimes my my camera's white balance just does that one second. i'm going to critical the movie situation is crazy. i
1:00:18 maybe this is what happens when you grow up, you feel less joy with a 3.5 star review. let me see this 5 star review. they've done it again, and by done it again i mean secretly put a film camera in my head, made a cathartic movie that's a little too real and will now be a frequent therapy session for me. boyhood 2014. a xanax could have solved this whole movie. not character speed running puberty in three days.
1:00:45 that orange creature has assassinated everyone else in my control room. the among us movie? i see a letterbox curve. three point, this is not that bad, 3.6 with a little peek at five as well. this movie means something to people. can someone please take that? oh, it's gotta be inside out, man. there's gotta be inside out too, inside out. mother mother fucker, man. the annoying orange movie.
1:01:14 a xanax could not have, well i don't know, i haven't seen the second one. maybe a xanax could solve the whole movie. by the way, when they started talking about the orange motherfucker in the control room, can i ruin a landmark piece of russian cinema for you? i literally will never watch stalker and the reason is
1:01:31 everywhere i go, i see his fucking face. i'm sorry. especially when the poster is not full screen. i'm like, that's the president. it's president donald j. trump and like that's his fucking hair. the poster is him. it's also biden. it's every single president. jim cramer, it's everybody. glasses and headphones and it's over. we got different eyebrows.
1:02:00 i have like, i've got the caterpillar eyebrows. stalker has the individual hairs, eyebrows, but i don't know. maybe, maybe it'll get me there one day. like when the poster is small, it looks even more like it, man. every time i see this and it letterbox also displays it smaller in some situations. when i see it even smaller than this, i'm like, damn, that's, i'm not going to watch this shit. that's a damn president, man. look at me down there. there you are with your five star review right next to
1:02:29 chibile's gandalf with big naturals who has it on his watch list, but he's not watching stalker because he's watching good boy. good boy, the slag, the wholesome chungus hecking big pupper slasher film where the doggo is the good guy who fights evil. he's not watching stalker because he's watching good boy. i mean, maybe chibile's on his millennial era, man. i don't know.
1:02:57 oh shit, they're giving me like this one's in the whole scheme of things non psychotic, non psychotic cutler. looks like a beautiful counter strike knife. i like it. 48 52. catastrophic radiation spill has reportedly contaminated vancouver's primary water sources including the fraser river and burrard inlet after an explosion at a local nuclear facility
1:03:33 emergency services have issued immediate advisories against swimming, fishing or consuming tap water as officials scramble to contain the hazardous leak. okay, somebody check fish cigarettes message against the news. i like to know before i go all in on the lime popsicle. because there was a part of me that was like, wouldn't it be funny to respond to that message and chug the whole bottle on camera? but then i could become like an evergreen reddit post.
1:04:05 streamer doesn't, legendary clip, streamer doesn't believe his chat message and chugs one gram of uranium for fun. there is no truth to this report. vancouver's primary drinking water remains completely safe and unaffected by any radiological contamination. thank you google ai, thank you. i was gonna say, i don't think we have nuclear facilities here. i think we're the kind of woke where we don't have nuclear energy.
1:04:31 we got the why. we're not doing the thing where we're like, nukes are bad for the environment. keep burning coal. i think we're mostly water. i mean, i don't have fucking control over that shit. i don't have control. now that i think about it, i don't have control over that. i should stop up. oh, i'm sorry guys. oh, fuck you. my fucking chud ass made all the energy infrastructure in british columbia
1:04:57 yeah, well, i don't know. i can't even get the exact... thank you! i can't even get the fucking slide built. but you know, i've taken matters into my own hands. i've stopped complaining. i've started taking matters into my own hands vis à vis the slide. i've started taking my daughter to different fucking playgrounds, exercising some autonomy on this fucked up civic landscape we find ourselves in.
1:05:17 did you see your mayor has to write a letter of apology? is it because he said we're going to be the first city that's on the blockchain and then he had to walk it back because bitcoin prices are down like 30% year over year or whatever, probably for saying sean or was giving people free drugs. i forgot he did do that. he did. i would say that he had his cortisol spike to that meeting. uh, well, i don't know if that was like a year ago or something. now he had his cortisol spiked and resorted to an ad hominem.
1:05:51 stop getting me wrong, start getting me right your face is okay, but your purse is too tight i'm talking about
1:06:11 cash checks, loose change, bills and anything. sing it if you know the words. give me some, yeah! stinky pudding those! give me some money. give me some money. what a fucking movie man.
1:06:48 is gonna be like the number one british christmas song of 1966. it's gonna be called like fucking red pudding or some shit. you're 100% right. i have absolutely no idea. i think it's just yellow submarine. yeah, that's yellow submarine.
1:07:24 well in my defense, i was basically right because this song is british and also sucks. and also i love the beatles. golden submersible. golden subs will fill your seat it is definitely one of their worst songs. 100% man. yellow submarine doesn't suck. it fucking blows. it's one of the two. take your pick. what about i am the walrus? i love i am the walrus. i think the i am the walrus is heat.
1:07:54 are you a helter skelter is the best beatles song guy? i really like i don't know if i'd say best beatles song we'd be up there i really like helter skelter. are we not listening to the full mix? alright, here you go. it's not good man.
1:08:27 this is how you know the beatles had so much cultural cachet because they could release this and like, psy op people into thinking that it's actually good. this is not representative of what the song is really like. what are you talking about? this is the song, man. this is the song. it's not like there's a second movement where they fucking break it down. this is the song.
1:08:50 this cover's chopped? it's the exact melody and instrumentation of this song. you're right, the song might be worse, because they do that fuck ass call and response. everyone, everyone is all you need, all you need is... nah man, leave it to alec unsworth. ringo, put the mic down, pick the sticks up, lad. we're gonna play well, my guitar gently weeps, okay?
1:09:19 wait, wait, wait. oracalcum, oracalcum, would you please lend me a hand? could you guard me? the shine of your green band, the sparkle of six armor, can you guard me? oracalcum, oracalcum, wait, i like that. the shine of your six armor, i like that, i like that, man. on the water down in new orleans,
1:09:45 my baby is the pearl of the quarter. she's a chummer like you've never seen. oh, fellas, if you're not don and walter, don't send that text. just send this is us and it's a picture of two cute dogs. don't say you're a chummer like i've never seen. so true that me and the steely dan cs2 voip, can you guys believe red beans and rice used to be a quarter?
1:10:17 man, they got us fucked up. yeah, yeah. can you believe red beans and rice used to be a quarter? wait, wait, wait. have you heard asia but with the mario 64 sound font? asia mario 64 sound font. i know you know what you're talking about because it's... i don't know what the fuck a sound font is. oh my god, it's the whole album. it's not just the song. it's the whole fucking album. oh, shit. wait, man.
1:10:53 oh shit. hey craig penderson jr. thanks for the gifted subscriptions. what a perfect lead into this. oh that's awesome! i saw you at rudy's, you were very high. it was a climbing shape on your face. whatever. okay so that's let's let's get into a i mean asia's eight minutes long by itself here. wait give it the sax though?
1:11:33 people are really digging peg based on the graph. dude, this is a fucking vibe! oh, that's awesome. also, in the related videos, tetsuro yamashita for you, but with the super mario 64 soundfont? okay, this is actually awesome. maybe youtube's okay, man. maybe youtube's okay. let's see what's going on on peg here.
1:12:18 oh shit, super nintendo game show music? the bass is insane man. i gotta know.
1:12:55 i feel like i'm in the party all the time music video in the recording. well, not in the recording booth. i'm in the production booth and i'm like pushing a slider up and nodding my head. and then this is what it's all about right here. this is what it's all about. they turned michael mcdonald into the wind, bro.
1:13:27 that's awesome. the asia ones from three years ago. it might be the greatest thing i've ever seen. what the fuck are you talking about? mina the hollower is great. we're on some different shit, bro. we're on some different shit right now. we ain't talking about shovel knight. this has 159 views from nine months ago. this is awesome, man.
1:14:09 top comment. i bet you're surprised. there's someone who was looking for steely dan in the super mario 64 sound font, but here i am.
1:14:46 you're like down in the diamond mines going like, hey, bet you didn't expect somebody would be down here looking for some shiny rocks. well, there's at least one person who thinks they have some value and it's me. check out weezer blue album mario sound font. nah, man, i've seen corey's stream. i've heard enough of the fucking blue album for one lifetime because i've heard it a thousand times on purpose and then like
1:15:13 at least 200 times by accident on kory's stream because it was fucked up media share where people like for months have just been requesting different variants of buddy holly over and over. it's so insane. but it could be worse. they could be requesting songs they actually like, and then you have to pretend they're good because they donated money to get them played on the stream. and you gotta be like, yeah, man. yeah.
1:15:42 so this means a lot to you. yeah. yeah. yeah. no, i could tell you guys think nl ever beat final fantasy 7. yeah, bro. i beat final fantasy 7. i fought the fucking tom burry in the meteors cave. okay yeah, yeah, i've beaten final fantasy 7. i've beaten all three phases of sephiroth. he only has two yeah, well, okay, but the first phase is fucking genova bro, or whatever. did you use knights of the rounds? no, honestly i'm realizing um
1:16:11 i said this to my discord last night. i've taken and this is so you asked me a question about final fantasy 7 let's go back to the creation of the universe and like how we're all tethered to the same livestream to put it in again final fantasy 7 terms i've taken the black pill when it comes to parenting which is
1:16:29 there are things that you can do as a parent to give your kid the best chance of avoiding certain pitfalls. the thing that inspired this was someone in the peloton discord saying, i don't want my kid to be a picky eater so we're on like this regimented like introduction to solid foods plan for when they get older. i didn't like that's good. that's a good thing. don't get me wrong. but my thread that has connected
1:16:54 it's defining my relationship with my child as she's been like three and older and she's now five is realizing holy shit, she's doing all the shit that i was doing when i was her age. and i'm googling it, which didn't exist when i was her age, and i'm going what the fuck? am i on the autism adhd spectrum?
1:17:18 i'm having like a wake up moment where i'm looking at this shit and i'm going, wait a sec, i'm discovering that i'm neurodivergent as a result of seeing my daughter who is like a pure being relatively unaffected by culture and stuff like that. just demonstrating the traits straight from her, like expressing them straight from her genes essentially.
1:17:44 so we were on the books, we did solid food introductions, she had a really good diverse palate and then she got old enough to have some agency and then she went, i only want to eat pasta. i'm a picky eater, i only want pizza and pasta. so what i'm learning is like holy shit.
1:18:05 like this is not only teaching me something about myself, but also like there's just some shit that's in the genes that no matter how you try to like build a box and prevent the traits from expressing,
1:18:17 they're just going to be who they want to be. and the black pill on parenting is just like, a, try to give them a safe environment for them to express their personality and try to nudge them. but at the same time, like you don't have any degree of control. if you want to be mad, don't be mad at yourself for like, oh, i was like too permissive of a parent. be mad at yourself for having some fucked up dna and not realizing how fucked up it was until you passed it on.
1:18:43 if you didn't want to deal with a picky eater, you should have thought of that before you conceived a child. because if you were a picky eater as a kid, it's like a rite of passage as a young adult to be like, man, my parents are responsible for all the problems with my personality. if they only kept me more regimented and locked in as a kid, if they forced me to
1:19:06 eat different foods, i wouldn't be a picky eater now as an adult. no bro, they're carrying the same fucking yolk that you are, because their fucking parents did it to them, whose parents back in like the fucking great depression did it to them, who have ancestors back in like the fucking 17th century who were like, i only want to eat, i only want to eat bread and oats. i, mom, i just want bread and oats. it's, it's fucking baked into the dna man.
1:19:35 there were fucking cavemen or something going around like, i only want to eat sweet potatoes. well, i'm sorry, but with the sweet potatoes, we had to rotate the crops this year. now we only got like squash and they were probably crashing the fuck out, man.
1:19:52 so did i get knights of the round? no, because i think i had adhd as a kid and it was a lot of work to get the golden chocobo and golden saucer and then drive it across the fucking like the deep water to get to the cave where you can get knights of the round. that's why i didn't get knights of the round, okay? does that answer your fucking question?
1:20:13 but that's also, it should annoy you that i'm on this journey of self discovery because i did fucking tank it. so i'm not gonna say what's your excuse because that's blip. but like all of you fucking anything now man. i beat it. i fucking, i don't know. i beat it too which is why it's hard to deal with my girlfriend who's a mega picky eater. you have one of those relationships where you both watch the stream or is it, are you, is this a safe place? i didn't even pick a card man. she don't watch? that's huge.
1:20:46 we take those. hey, now my friend is beating the millennial movie taste allegations. his top four are mulholland drive possession, valerie and her week of wonders and the thing. yeah, i don't know who's going to break the news to him. mulholland drive is in everybody's top four. mulholland drive is in everybody's top four. the things in everybody's top four, man. it doesn't mean that it doesn't deserve to be in there. it doesn't mean that it doesn't deserve it. i never said it doesn't deserve it. i'm just saying a lot of millennials are fucking with it, man. not me though.
1:21:19 i haven't seen it yet, but i will at some point. it's a fun movie, but it's not that good. is that how people normally feel about mulholland drive? they normally describe it as a fun movie? a fun romp through 90s la? ah, take me back, man. guy who was never there? fuck, man. take me back.
1:21:43 guy who lives in... sorry, this is like it's too evil. but the first thing that... the sentence that popped into my head fully formed was, guy who lives in seattle but never lives his apartment? fuck, i would have loved to live in 1970s los angeles, man. god, that would have been awesome. ripped to that telegraph operator who stopped the train when the ammunition boat was on fire and saved all those people.
1:22:09 i mean he's a canadian hero for sure, he's a canadian hero for a reason. one of the all time great canadian heritage minutes as well. the one that never made sense to me even as a child, maybe especially as a child, was when they had like irish people immigrating to canada and the judge made them change their name. i mean it's not like they were
1:22:36 coming in with names that were like completely unpronounceable to 19th century canadian bureaucrats like they were coming in and being like oh my name's like my name's mike o'neill, and they would go what? no the fuck it isn't bro. no it isn't that's insane that's unbelievable
1:23:01 my canadian friends of chinese descent went through the same thing in school. that's true. i mean, when i was teaching in korea, they did the same shit. they were like on day one of kindergarten, you had to give your korean students like an english name. so i ended up, uh, sometimes you would be teaching like third graders and you'd be like, fuck his name, like name their kids like schwarzenegger and stuff like that. there was just some english teachers fucking around. now for the rest of your life, you gotta be looking like
1:23:31 rolls royce or something equally fucked up like tim winning the stanley cup or dinner with god? information request. am i a player winning the stanley cup or am i a dude on his couch watching my team win the stanley cup? player? probably take the stanley cup in that case. i like that the idea that we're starting with the principle that the almighty is real and you could have dinner with them and then i'm saying that's good.
1:24:02 that's good, but to win one stanley cup as a player would probably be better. dinner with god, but he talks with his mouth full? not a problem for a beast like me. i'm one of those neurodivergent people who doesn't have mesophonia. notice how the verbiage has evolved. i did not say i'm not neurodivergent. i did not say i'm neurotypical. i just don't have the one where people are like, please tell me when he stops eating on microphone. it literally doesn't bother me at all. i have the one where like, um,
1:24:32 i'm baring my soul with this one. i have the one where i really hate picking up mr. clean magic erasers. there's just something about the, like even just thinking about the texture of the magic eraser on my fingers and thumb is making me feel fucking very weird. almost gave me goosebumps there. it doesn't feel good, man. i want to like, i want to put a glove on to use the magic eraser.
1:24:58 styrofoam i understand the styrofoam aversion. it doesn't bother me that much, but i totally get it. but the the magic eraser is a is a different type of beast altogether. you don't have the one that mentions video games out of context. okay, listen, i read that from chat. that person is evil. you guys are all innocent as far as i'm concerned. does that one exist? yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. 100%.
1:25:30 bricks are my weakness. i actually feel like picking up a brick feels good as fuck. i feel like because it's like smooth and cool, like it's got the it's got a satisfying feeling in your hand. picking up a brick feels, feels awesome man. the mr. clean magic eraser feels, oh ceramic feels so good. oh no i'm becoming, i'm becoming one of those people.
1:25:54 now talk about amelia bedelia.
1:26:11 you telling me what to do is crazy, but i do want to talk about it now that you've incepted it. because amelia bedelia is literally valid. they talk to her exclusively in idioms that she doesn't know and then they get mad when she follows their literal instructions. when they say put the coffee on and then she takes a cup of coffee and puts it on top of something, they're like, whoa, you're fucking stupid. no, she's not, bro. you're fucking stupid because that's what you told her to fucking do.
1:26:40 you should have said make me a cup of coffee. so you said put the coffee on. the snack slash treats game of marie antoinette was crazy. sophia was tapped in. i also like that they just like have contemporary shoes in the shots. i'm not even messing with you. you know what i was thinking when i was watching marie antoinette today? it's crazy that when you're like a kid and you learn how to read, pictures are op.
1:27:07 the idiots in your classes are always like, i want to take the book with lots of pretty pictures. and only a true fucking reader who does it for the love of the game is like, i want a book with lots of words. but movies
1:27:20 are exactly the fucking opposite, man. in movies, it's easier to appreciate a movie that has a lot of words, a lot of dialogue, moving the plot along, and much harder to appreciate a movie that's style over substance. that doesn't necessarily say that a movie like marie antoinette that's very much style over substance is necessarily better than a movie that's more plot driven. i think it's a case by case basis, but it's an interesting sort of contrast.
1:27:49 one more block for sure. we have to start playing our knife traps soon though because they do create more shivs i think. don't quote me on that. high degree of confidence when i said that of course. false and untrue. me when i lie. okay take it up with the chatter that said you need to start scaling knife trap and it scales itself. i'll find them. i'll find them so you can direct their uh you can direct the ire towards me, towards them instead.
1:28:23 always play knife trap so it gets juiced up. kid05 is that fucking you again? with the resident evil umbrella corporation badge, it's you again? i already know that was you, euphoria! i don't even need to look in the room! you're doing 36 damage, we're living. i can hit you a lot.
1:28:49 we have the potion that we could pop to make it hit for more, but i really think you wait on that until you get a fan of knives. and if it doesn't happen, then maybe it wasn't meant to be, bro. you saved the potion for fan of knives, man. you saved the po i'm telling you, it's the way. i'm not worried about the three extra damage. we need the three extra strength from the reptile trinket to get the kill on the queen. what do you think the potion does? hey, fort rez, what do you think the potion does when it's working with reptile trinket?
1:29:19 oh shit, he's right. right. thank you. thank you. oh, whoops. my bad. why are you typing in all caps? you don't know what you're talking about and you're angry. you're literally like, there's no conceivable reason why i could possibly be on the wrong side of this argument. you're typing in all caps. you're yelling. you're yelling. you caused a car accident. you're going, well, they came out of nowhere. what were you doing there? now you're lucky i've forgotten your name.
1:29:51 i still remember the umbrella corporation guy. he's right here. one second here. always play knife trap so it gets juiced up. okay, that's the last message they left. can somebody check on them? somebody make sure that they're okay? that was like 15 minutes ago. actually this turn is big. are we not guaranteed to draw? oh my god, oh my god! i think we're gonna win! never punished? i mean you guys deserve to be punished for this one if we're being honest.
1:30:32 i'm innocent as always. i mean this has to kill you but the right play is to play a cloak and dagger first and then... audit reviewer, i swear to god i thought reptile gave strength for the whole combat when popping the pot. not just for that turn, i'm sorry. okay so you thought... you thought...
1:31:04 that they put a relic in the game that gave you three strength for the entire combat for every single potion you use. so if you came in with like a potion belt and four potions, you would gain like 12 strength for the rest of combat. and you thought that they would put this in the game, knowing that there's a potion in the game called a strength potion that gives you two strength total when you drink it.
1:31:30 that isn't that crazy? yes it is. are you a certified a10 scholar? a relic that gives you three strength for the rest of combat per potion consumed is insNLy strong. that's 12 damage to every attack.
1:31:47 it's really good, don't get me wrong. no, no, no. if you have four potions, if you have one potion, it's really good. it makes every potion one and a half strength potions plus whatever it does, man. i'm not the same guy. yeah, but you're kind of like, you're pleading his case, which is crazy. anyway, you know what?
1:32:11 you're valid for that one. people are bad at evaluating stuff in the game. i'm not gonna say me too, i'm gonna say me fucking especially bro. thank you king. i didn't say you're right, i just said you're valid. here's my problem with scourge. i feel like if i take scourge, i'm saying to myself that we're doing it. wait, that's not a problem, that's a solution. we take doom and we build a doom build. you interrupted yourself? you think you're the only one who gets sick of the shit that i'm saying?
1:32:39 no, i mean i'm the only motherfucker out there who's heard everything that i've said. and you think, you're going, oh this guy's annoying sometimes. yeah, dumbass, you think i don't know that shit? i don't even hear just all of my words. i've also subjected to all my fucking thoughts. i don't know if the borrowed, i mean if we get, we do have some draw from scourge actually. the upgraded borrow might make some sense. americans when you say borrow the way it's written.
1:33:08 i mean, you're smart people, okay? you know how i know that? you can deal with complex sentences. because i've heard your countrymen really rattle off some tough ones. the costco double chunk chocolate cookie! if aj can do that, you can get over the boro versus boro. i don't even hear the difference to be honest with you. but if aj can do that, do you say caught and caught differently?
1:33:34 i'm gonna say based on what i just said that i say i'm the same. c a u g h t and c o t, i say i'm the same. well, okay, in my head, i said them slightly differently. but i would also forgive you for saying no you didn't. how about aaron earned and i earn earned?
1:33:55 i mean, i'm saying it right. i don't know. you know how i know i'm saying it right? it's because i speak english. so i'm taking the same sense of superiority that my chinese teacher takes when she tells me that it's that the number two is pronounced ar and then i say ar and then she goes no look at my mouth ar and then i say it exactly the same way i go ar and then she goes yeah that's it even though i said it the same way both times
1:34:20 but she gets to choose when i said it right and when i said it wrong because she speaks mandarin and i don't. so in english, i get the same luxury. aaron earned an iron urn. yes, i said it right. absolutely. any famous people from your hometown? i don't know actually. that's just me being dead. i mean, from my hometown, like in my age cohort? no, not really, i think. myself included.
1:34:46 but yeah, like i mean there's some famous people from kingston, ontario for sure. famous in a canadian context at least. oh wait that's not true! malve and i did go to school with a guy who is a...now is a member of a juno award winning band. and you're gonna say like what is that?
1:35:09 it's like the canadian grammys. so it's, i mean, not necessarily world famous, but yeah, done very well for themselves. they're like professional, quite successful touring musicians with some notoriety. i didn't go to school with avril. avril was a few years older than me for one, and she went to ndss, the napanee district secondary school. i didn't go to ndss.
1:35:39 didn't you say avril got around? you're literally gaslighting me and not say avril got around. what i might have said if i said anything is that if you grew up in the fucking camden east, stone mills area like i did, you probably have a friend or a friend of a friend whose older sibling may have dated avril. and for the record,
1:36:03 dating does not mean they got around, as if getting around is even necessarily a bad thing. but having a girlfriend in high school or in high school is not getting around. having a boyfriend, i should say. it's just, i mean, from what i've heard, it's a rite of passage, although i wouldn't know. you're digging a hole? i'm not digging a hole. how would i know if avril got around? i had a friend whose older brother dated avril. that doesn't mean she got around.
1:36:35 they might have fucking gotten married for all i know. was he a skater boy? i actually don't think he was. awkward for that guy? i don't know. i don't know who broke up with who. maybe she broke up with him. it's not really awkward. i guess it could be kind of awkward if he broke up with her and now he's like, no, no, my ex girlfriend wrote complicated. no. if a bear ate your wife, would you say that it did nothing wrong?
1:37:02 well, it depends on the fucking situation. if a bear broke into my fucking house and ate my wife when she was like in her office, the bear was off the pen, okay? yeah, yeah, that bear fucked up. if we're out in the forest and we didn't put our food wrappers in like the trunk of our car or some shit like that, then yeah. i mean, like, i don't think the bear necessarily... i shouldn't have eaten the person, but like what kind of hypocrites would we be as a fucking species if we ate hamburgers while we were camping?
1:37:31 went to bed, had one of us got eaten by a bear and then be like, man, that bear is evil. passing the same carbon around, bro. if you're a vegetarian, i think you could at least be a little bit pissed off at the bear, even though it is ridiculous to expect the bear to care. you know, it's because we're on a different plane of consideration that we have the luxury to make dietary choices like that.
1:37:55 well, yeah, you have to kill the bear. you absolutely have to kill the bear after. but i'm just saying that if we're being honest, and that's what it's all about, man, why would they kill the bear? they literally killed him just for like being close to a campsite. i'm not trying to ruin your life by the way, but if a bear comes into a campsite, they will find the bear and kill it. they will send out park rangers into the forest and
1:38:24 execute the bear. they will compromise it to a permanent end. in squamish, they escort them out of the campgrounds. oh shit. okay. i don't know ball then. i thought they killed the bears when they have the audacity to like... i mean, you gotta admit it is kind of fucked up. it's a fucked up idea that a bear would be like, mmm, yummy food. let me go get this yummy food. oh, fuck! there is human be oh, this is a campsite. i should have known, man.
1:38:54 it's like a honeypot, that's entrapment, man. we'll fight them for greater rewards, man. absolutely, we'll fight them for greater rewards. end running decision right there. you're not evil for this, i think you mean run ending. they might be a yoda. i was comfortable going in on them a little bit. i'm not sure if you can go in on them that much. that might not be okay to suggest that they're a yoda, okay? i'm not sure how it goes when we're bringing in
1:39:27 star wars like fictional alien species and stuff, but i'm certain at the very least it would be frowned upon you have to get smacked. nah, you're right. i did actually die as a result of that no, i didn't because i can use a potion but i fucked up man tiny ass. holy shit sadly a skip and then like well, we probably lose as a result of that decision. i'd say you're right. damn. that's crazy. did you? think about that. would you rather walk in on your partner? i
1:40:19 sleeping with five shaggies or one scooby. i mean, i guess i would definitely... neither is the obvious choice, but i would rather walk in on my partner sleeping with five shaggies. pal fans mentioned. is there anything worse as a streamer than getting baited by a comment that you think is gonna be like a fun little thread of dialogue and then it turns out that it's an inside joke from another fucking podcast or something?
1:40:48 you get roped into some like our hot dogs a sandwich discourse you don't realize all the fucking baggage under the curve. it's a good hypothetical. i don't think it's a good hypothetical at all man. would i rather walk in on my fiance sleeping with five human men or one dog? obviously i would rather walk in on my fiance sleeping with five human men. this is the easiest question of all time.
1:41:14 it's a talking dog. everyone's writing the same thing. i know you've already, they've already litigated this to death on whatever podcast they invented this on. and as they should, it's an interesting line of reasoning. but that, like, there's no point in me weighing in because there's nothing novel that can be said. clearly, they've already had all the conversations that could have been had about it. five scoobies or one shaggy? okay, that's fucking funny. i took my daughter to the bookstore yesterday.
1:41:45 we bought a couple of books. one book we bought was like a book about pusheen, because she got it from the library, but then she had to return it. but then we said, you know what? this is one of the library books that she loved enough that i feel very, very safe in buying this from the bookstore. she's not gonna read it like zero times and then be like, i never wanna see this again.
1:42:11 but she also said, i want to get this book. and it was like a machinima style book about like which animal would win in combat. to the authors of this, you got a great thing going because here they do every single book that is like who would win.
1:42:25 they all have like this advertisement on the front that's paper towel math and the paper towel math is like five books in one. every one of these books is five books and then some of them are like this one's four books, this one's six books so they're on the front of them they all say this one book is five books but anyway i'm on to your fucking gimmick though. almost every single one is animal that's huge versus animal that's small and you they go who would win? who would win? a fucking
1:42:56 a mosquito or a great white shark? and then you're like, well, obviously it's a shark. and then they go, eh, wrong dumb ass. mosquito would give the shark malaria and kill it. mosquitoes are actually one of the deadliest animals on the fucking planet. you idiot. you thought, oh, you thought the shark would bite the mosquito and kill it easily? no, man. an army of mosquitoes actually stung the shark and gave it malaria. how do you feel about that? how do mosquitoes bite underground? lol?
1:43:27 okay, sharks don't live underground, they live underwater. we're both dumb. kevin o'leary versus 100 sharks? i mean, he's the strongest shark. he might not be the highest in terms of net worth, because i think mark cuban probably has him beat, but he's the strongest shark by power level. if you were to look at the power level, he's the strongest shark. he's the most evil is what i'm trying to say. i'm not saying any of them are good, but there's degrees to this shit. i have no idea if this guy's bad or not.
1:43:55 i still like, i don't know a lot about this game to be honest. i couldn't tell you what his fucking name is. if i had to get, i'm gonna say this guy's called the rune master. that's the infested prism. i wasn't even in the right ballpark. i wasn't even in a similar domain. i thought he was called the rune master. that's the dorito? the dorito's called the rune master? i'm surprised that i know the name of an individual in this game. in slay the spire 1, i don't think i ever heard you call the slug boss by the correct name.
1:44:25 slay the spire 1 slug, but we're talking about the guy i call the timekeeper who is actually the time eater, i think. i mean, i'll tell you one thing, he's really eating time or maybe it's, i'll tell you what, let me rephrase. i'll tell you, i know it's eating time. i know it's, it's a syllabic difference. i know it's eating time when i played 11 cards and i still got a vault in my fucking hand. then i know it's time to eat. it's time to feast.
1:44:57 you were doing too much with it? it's literally gonna go multi platinum on slaythespirememes.com, okay? i've been doing this a long time, bud. i know what i'm doing. roller girl or amber waves? i'm not even lying to you, i legit thought you were talking about like vancouver civil politics until i clocked that it was a boogie nights reference. i mean, it depends on the context, but i'd say why not both? they seem chill.
1:45:28 it may be chill is the wrong word, but like there's motherfuckers in the movie that are way less chill. i mean william h. macy was wild in the fuck out, bro. talk about ruining the vibes of the party, like bro didn't give a fuck about anybody but himself. on the other hand, he was kind of valid. it was he kind of, if i may, kind of found himself in a in a five shaggies type situation. it wasn't one scooby! i'm not gonna put that evil on her, i guess, but
1:45:59 i mean, it might have been more than five shaggies. he didn't need to do all that shit though. beast mode, i'm afraid. they're saying you should not describe william h macy's behavior in boogie nights as beast mode, but i mean, a lot of, i was gonna say a lot of people are saying and then just try to figure out how to end the sentence. a lot of people are saying though that in many ways such as
1:46:31 the afghanistan or the south africa. many us americans don't even have maps and such as your divorce take was kind of an l. i mean, there are a lot of people who said it was a dub. so i'm just going to listen. first off, if you don't, if you ever get offended by any joke that i say, it was a joke. if you think that i struck on some innate wisdom, i would say i'm something of a modern day philosopher. what was your take?
1:46:59 don't make me say it again because it hurts people. it's a take that hurts people. my take was, i think i'm glad i met my wife when i was young because she was able to mold me into a functional adult who takes care of his living space, cleans up, declutters,
1:47:19 runs errands, handles his responsibilities, etc. etc. it's not me saying that all middle aged men are disasters. all i'm saying is if you're a man who lives alone, you don't have
1:47:31 the bumpers on the gutter that keep the bowling ball from scoring zero pins. okay? so you could just be throwing gutter balls for like 15 years to the point where you like start to love gutter balls. you could start you like it becomes too late to change is what i'm trying to say or at least it becomes a lot harder. where's the divorce part? i said for some reason the way i frame this is
1:47:56 that you guys are anti divorce. but obviously, like, i would rather see couples happily married than see people get divorced for no reason and, like, spread misery. but divorce is actually a good thing because if your relationship is fucked up, there's a way for you to get out of it. so i think you are looking at divorce as a red flag, whereas i think it's more of a red flag to be the age of someone who could be divorced but instead has never actually lived for a considerable length of time with a partner.
1:48:24 so i was saying if you were like a divorcee and you were doing online dating, you're better off probably looking for a divorcee than someone that's never been in a committed relationship. because at least it gives you a vote of confidence that someone at some point said, i'm buying in. i'm buying in this, i'm making a long term investment in this person and maybe it didn't work out, but
1:48:56 they at least had something worth buying it. they believed in it at one point. plus two but stop calling me out? they're they won't stop calling i'll stop calling you out because you said plus two. everyone else says minus two, stop saying it. i will not stop saying it. wait, am i fucking dead? yes, i'm dead as fuck. motherfucker. i guess i could have turned and faced the other way and maybe lived for another turn, but...
1:49:22 didn't you say this like several years ago? i say it once every few years. but the problem is that someone watches a vod, gets their feelings hurt, and then comes back and asks me to justify it. and then i justify it with even more nuance than before, and everyone in chat goes, plus two, plus two, plus two, and then that person who thought they were gonna get me now feels even worse about themselves. and for some reason, it's my fault. it's my fault that they came here with an axe to grind and left with a paper cut. it's my fault. when they did that to themselves.
1:49:50 now i'm sure there's some dudes who are 52, never had a long term relationship just because their standards are really, really high. they just haven't met the right person and they want a lot of time to do their hobbies instead. and that's valid.
1:50:06 i'm feeling 52. well, i don't know about you. me after i have one beer at lunch and wake up 18 hours later. i don't know about you. i'm feeling 52. every time i think i'm gonna fart, i squirt a little poo. i don't know how the meter goes in the song. i only know the first part about being 22. you're so gross, man. i didn't invent the human body.
1:50:32 i didn't make your digestive tract. that shit, i don't know what fucking did that to be honest with you. and i didn't even write that fucking song. i was watching squeak stream a little bit. is squeak's a ball knower? he keeps making references to the virgin suicides.
1:50:46 ludwig texted me, do you want to go to a movie premiere? we see famous actress, kirsten dunst. i tell ludwig, i'm saying, is it weird for us to go and ask for a picture at a premiere? ludwig's like, yeah, that's probably weird, but we should do it. we really didn't want to be the guys that went up to her and said, hey, i liked you in spider man. so we look on wikipedia and we look up niche kirsten dunst movies.
1:51:11 and ludwig walks up to her and ludwig says, hey, um, this is so embarrassing to do. this is my friend squeaks. and every single year we love watching the virgin suicides. he oversold it. the first thing she said was really every single year?
1:51:33 we take a picture, go home, look up what the virgin suicides is and go, fuck! she f***ed herself in the movie! we told her we watch you f*** yourself every year. it's his favorite movie. it's actually like, so i don't watch a lot of twitch. so i don't know like how deep the joke runs, but it's actually like an awesome movie. he met kirsten dunst and told her he watches it once a year. and you're making fun of him for this.
1:52:03 that he met an actress and said, i love your work. i watch it once a year. he told kirsten dunst it's his favorite movie. he was like, he's never seen, okay, that's fucked off. that's not okay. he's never seen it. they imdb'd her before walking up and saw that as number one. okay, so number one on imdb doesn't even make sense because that shit is in chronological order, sorted from newest. so what do you mean as number one on imdb?
1:52:35 they were looking for a deep cut not number one. well that's fair. i mean it's kind of... why would... can i ask something without... and i'm being dragged into drama frog content. why were they antagonizing kirsten dunst? they could have given her an authentic compliment or so because i'm sure they've seen spider man. they could have just been like, hey i loved you in spider man. i mean they didn't want to be those guys but they are those guys because they didn't know the movie.
1:53:04 so they're misrep that's even worse to be inauthentically a different guy than authentically yourself is is is substantially more decoded. kirsten dunst is the worst part of spider man? fuck are you talking about, man? this is great. the worst part of spider man is the green goblin. the guy's evil. he's an evil person. i didn't know, by the way, until i was talking about it with kory yesterday, i didn't know there were people who hate kirsten dunst like like kory does. i like her!
1:53:36 i think she's a good actress, i think she's taken some interesting projects. explain civil war? listen, i don't think the movie is very good but i think it's an interesting project. she was good in small soldiers? bro, she's fucking good in most of her movies. what, you don't have to pick like a shitty movie from when she was like 11, you could just pick like a good movie from when she was an adult. this is, i'm freaking the fuck out.
1:54:01 she's in jumanji, end of convo? no man, not end of convo. i'm freaking out. she's got roles as an adult where she was good. fargo season two, marie antoinette. i haven't seen power of the dog. oh, sorry. yeah, they did say end of convo and i'm still talking. my bad. my bad. why is she always in freaky movies? why? because she made like
1:54:27 generational wealth maybe within like the first three or four years of her career and then like as a result has the freedom to do artistically interesting projects. and also yeah she is in spider man now that i think about it. it's true she is in fucking spider man so i guess she also... what do you mean spider man wasn't freaky? bro turned into a fucking spider. the type of freaky shit that jeff goldblum was doing in the fly. david cronenberg made that shit. freaky ass upside down kiss.
1:54:59 we did like jeopardy trivia in the eighth grade and it was not like a huge event, but i remember it and you're about to find out why i remember. for final jeopardy, we were splitting into like four teams. for final jeopardy, every team had to pick one member of the team to go up and be the representative. my team picked me. good decision. then the question was, i guess the answer was,
1:55:30 fill in the blank from the spider man tv show theme song. spins a web any size, catches thieves blank. and i went, oh, fucking just like flies. wrote that shit down. it was like too easy. everyone's going to get it right. fucking nobody else got it right. and also all the other kids in the class were like, what the fuck?
1:55:57 how the fuck did you know that? nobody on earth could possibly know that. they outed me as a nerd. bro, context clues? that's what i'm saying, man! they think you're a freak. they're like, no, like fuck me, the knowledge stuck in my brain. it wasn't like i went, okay, remember, remember that, i might need that years later.
1:56:22 they always go, nobody knows that shit man. nobody knows brad pitt was in interview with the vampire you fucking freak. then they're, yeah, they're like kill him. kill him. it just seemed, and you know what, now i'm getting a little bit more of an understanding of what's going on with this virgin suicides bit and i gotta say, i gotta say i actually understand why it's part of the lore now. i definitely understand why it's part of the lore.
1:56:50 it is a funny movie. i have a bias, right? i thought that you guys were making fun of squeaks for watching a sad movie. because in my head, i look at you and this is just me being honest. it's not necessarily nice, but it's honest.
1:57:07 i look at you as like little infants who basically they're like, why would you watch anything that would give you quote unquote negative feelings? like why would you deliberately try to experience the whole range of human emotion? you should only experience like the stuff that is obviously positive and never ever interface with things that are even slightly negative. it's not fair. so but my initial hunch drawing from that
1:57:35 was that you were like watching that movie is stupid because it made you sad. but now i've realized that you actually have a very, very valid reason for making fun of him for his quote unquote enjoyment of the virgin suicides, which is that he is still not seen it. and moreover, had the, i don't even know what the, the audacity is maybe like a little, just a very strange choice.
1:58:05 to lie to an actress. i might even go so far as to say almost trolling her by creating an inside joke with your chat at her expense when you could have just said, i loved you in spider man or something like that. i did not say it was misogynist. i don't think there's any misogyny built in there. it's just, and i'm not, this is not clip farming. feel free to respond.
1:58:39 in any way that you see fit or feel free not to also because i mean i've said some stuff that probably could be construed as insane as well but it's just it's just a little strange it's just a little strange most of it was ludwig i'll get to that guy i got my own problems with that guy
1:58:59 watch the short. i will continue to comment on it without watching the short, as is my right as a streamer. i will continue to have an opinion based exclusively on secondhand hearsay without ever interfacing with a primary source, okay? chat, hear me out. energy can be measured as calories, true or false? heat is a measure of energy, true or false? warm food has more calories than cold food.
1:59:31 true or false? i'm hitting my smugest emote right now. extra large blizzard has like 3k calories. i did have a small dairy queen blizzard yesterday and it is uh, the small blizzard i think it was 790 calories or something. it's so crazy. turtle wunni's peak? man i don't think i've had a turtle since like christmas at my grandma's house in 2003 or something like that. i gotta get on my turtle game. i fucking love caramel.
1:59:58 we need to be butterscotch maxing. we need to be caramel maxing. we need to be putting orange ish brown swirls into our vanilla ice cream, man.
2:00:09 not to do the same bit we've been doing for like a long time here, but uh... and i don't mind! i don't mind the coffee flavors. i don't mind the tea flavors. i don't mind the passion fruits and they're experimented with different flavors these days and i support that, but we need to also put some respect on the classics. all the caramel is salted now, which is still fine, but bring back some butterscotches and some pralines and some...
2:00:36 just anything that tastes like you could have it in a mug in like a charles dickens christmas novel or something. ghost of carmel past. bro, you live in vancouver? i know, you think, well actually there are a lot of places you can get like some classic ice cream. but all the hipster ice cream places are like, best i can do is, oh here's a
2:00:57 boba flavor. i'm like, yeah, man, i know. the three flavors are whiskey hazelnut, thai iced tea and boba. they're all, it's the same flavor. what about london fog? also very common. and i'm not against it. i just wish, i wish they put some respect on the classics, man. i don't hate ernest ice cream. i will say a lot of the time i want to go to ernest ice cream. i look at the line and say, i say some shit like,
2:01:28 does no one here have a damn job? i could be out there waiting in line for ice cream for 50 minutes, but come on. eight minutes of 007 is actually a great idea. you know what would be a good bit? playing? i don't think i have the commitment to see the bit through, but i like it enough that i don't want to share it yet. i'm going to decide. okay, i'll share it. doing a let's play of persona 5.
2:01:56 but only releasing it via youtube shorts. so i'm thinking releasing like 30 shorts a day for like eight months or something like that. hey guys, welcome back to persona 5 let's play. i think on this turn i'm going to use my persona and do an attack that did 651 damage. all right guys, thanks for watching. i'll see you tomorrow.
2:02:26 i think it's an awesome bit, man. yeah, and every single comment is like, can someone tell me where the... what vod did this come from? when did he play this? they don't know, man. you did it just for the short. that shit was recorded locally. timing goal? it sounds like an ernest ice cream iced tea flavor, man. a daily rhythm game. tap when the countdown reaches zero, eight, seven, six, four, three, two,
2:03:09 one, zero. wow, we were off by a lot. plus i was too late. i thought i was counting too fast, if anything. you slowed down like crazy at four, because i thought i was going too fast before. so i baked in a slow to slow it down. how about dialed.gg? is dialed the color one? i don't think i can do that. my brain doesn't work with stuff like that. five colors, same for everyone on earth. you get one shot, no pressure. okay.
2:03:50 i'm locked in. oh shit. it's definitely like, lock it. that was good. could be worse. could be worse. okay, this is easy. color of a beautiful caribbean beach with a slight hint of green. that's it. oh, shit. really good. really good. that's black. is this a joke? oh no. that was the loading screen.
2:05:07 okay, it's obviously it's like it's down there great sound design on the website. oh fuck wasn't even close man. oh, okay. this is the color of it's a pastel version of blood vial from slay the spire still pretty good. i can live with that much more vivid, but i can live with that. it's dark purple dark purple bordering on brown. oh shit.
2:06:38 was it even close? how did we do? damn, 80%? annoyingly good. no, not really. i was 8,000th out of 12,000 today. man, i was expecting to be like top 20% with the way they were gassing me up. oh shit. i'm worse at pitches than colors for sure. great web design on this by the way.
2:07:34 i can lip did you mute the wrong tap? what? i thought we did a pretty good job, man. i thought considering you gave me a 130 hertz fucking frequency, i thought we did a pretty good job. guys, i don't think i'm very good at this. that was lower. it sounded exactly the same to me. and this one sounds exactly the same. wait, we're so back? your ears are still that was really good! that's the tech. what do you mean you mute the wrong ta that was pretty good. tone deaf, don't worry, practice helps. i thought i was doing really well.
2:09:22 i thought i was only off by a little bit, man. it's not timed? your fucking memory is timed! that's why you do it fast, because your memory is timed! no wonder your tones are off? yeah, but like there's 1.2 billion chinese people. there must be some chinese people who are tone deaf, but they still speak chinese, right? i don't think i'd be the first person who can't sing who can speak chinese. that would be crazy.
2:09:47 anyway, see you tomorrow. later! follow the sound of my voice. i can sing a song if it makes it better. in the town where i was born lived a man who tried to see and he told the self his life in his yellow submarine
2:10:14 scars of blue and teas of green many more of us than live next door all we need scars of pink and subs of yellow in our yellow shrubbery come on sing it with me i'm not moving you're trolling me i'm leaving