first day at black mesa - Bits and Banter [07⧸24⧸2026]

Name: first day at black mesa - Bits and Banter [07⧸24⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-07-27
Channel: Librarian
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Librarian2026-07-27

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0:00 it sounds like usb something going on. yeah, usb controllers fucking up. the blue screen it gave me said it was the cpu. i hate to see that. this can't be true. this can't be true. what's up, man? hey, lebron of the 76ers, man! oh yeah. no way, really? i can finally buy a jersey with lebron on it, yes!
0:25 ryan you missed it. corey was coughing in the call and i said you're not supposed to inhale the cigar. yes, dude. and uh, and i and yeah, man that yeah, you're not supposed to inhale the cigar corey. what's that good? if only ryan were here, you don't love that one. i you know, at least it wasn't me telling him for once i'm sure he's sick of me nagging him just yeah, he's always smacking about ours.
0:56 smacking him out of my hand in his basement. pulling him out, smoking the whole thing myself in like one pull so that he can't have any. where does he keep getting them from? could you imagine man? justin did this start happening the same time your mixer blew up? yes.
1:18 you had like a i think you have a technology ghost i have a i have a protector nobody you said there was a search that broke stuff didn't you i assume it was maybe like a voltage fluctuation. that's closer whatever i have a whole surge protector that protects the house, but things blew up is is ninja okay? yeah
1:47 i did get a power conditioner for the new mixer i bought. i don't have hair. what does that do? i mean, i'm sorry you said conditioner. i never said.
2:05 i'm pissed off. i'm still mad that the mixer i had it was exactly 13 months old which it is still in warranty i thought it was maybe a one year warranty and i got like incredibly fucked but i can't i couldn't get through to their support because it's been replaced by a little cartoon ai guy. oh it's like hey, i'm here to help you so, uh, it's
2:26 it kept breaking when i was trying to submit a ticket, so i just started, i control, i copy pasted submit a ticket and put it into this chatbot like 50,000 times in a fit of rage. and never got any reply. and i just got an email yesterday from someone at the audio place being like, hey, i see you, we're having problems with our support bot. like, yeah. yeah, i'm the human being that has to go through all the ai logs and then manually call everybody back.
2:53 say sorry, so frustrating the obviously bonus breaks. yeah, ten of them ten of them seven seems odd numbers are best in my opinion for stuff like this true even though there's an odd number of players so it cancels out. um you might want to check your math. what? kimo sabe? ah shit you're right i
3:22 okay, that one scared me cuz like there was no information whatsoever that i should think that there's only three people here yeah, i get no point. i don't like that crazy. i wonder that's your brain on one week of world of warcraft. that's true i will say that the second you start playing world of warcraft the second you start realizing that concern trolling still exists what is concern trolling? i'm very familiar with virtue signaling. i
3:47 concern trolling is like when someone pretends like they're concerned about something, but just to be a little prick. oh, are you okay? you're playing world of warcraft, are you okay? oh, so it isn't even a problem with the player base, it's a problem with the audience. it's a problem with like you. what the fuck? concern trolling is like you look tired. yes. that was the original concern troll. yeah, it's like a soft concern troll.
4:20 i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know
4:46 only you gotta, i don't know. the spoon pose or something like that doesn't always have to be one person. i'm trying to like standing up like getting the arm like that far. like i don't know. i don't think i don't think i'm jerking him off on him. you're gonna walk, but he's laying on your arm, your arm, because the home start giving him the stranger. anyway, wow.
5:12 why would you care about the stranger? i know that's part of the okay, it feels like someone else is doing it. yeah, well that's it. alright, so we get together, i sit on your hand, you sit on my hand. yes! oh, then i don't have to feel the dick. oh, dude, what the hell game have we got there? we're getting there, yeah, yeah. straight guys sitting on each other's hands. yeah, it's not gay if i don't feel the dick.
5:40 that is really good. i asked about concern trolling because yesterday
5:47 people were talking about coffee in the peloton discord and i said, the less i know about espresso drinks, the more respect i have for baristas and i'm going to keep it that way. i'm not going to be making my own lattes and cappuccinos at home, i'm going to continue to think that they're heroes at the coffee shop. and then someone said, well, i would just respect all service staff no matter why, but that's just me. and i, in my head, i imagined striking them with lightning bolts coming out of the sky.
6:14 and i said, every time i go to a coffee shop, i bring my cute kid, i tip well and i order an iced americano. i come into your coffee shop, i'm getting an extra cold shakerado with an alternative milk. i'm going to say i want it for here. right after you finish pouring it into the cup, i'm going to say, actually, can i get that to go?
6:35 and i'm gonna pay cash i'm gonna pay cash and you're gonna be like, we don't know where to put it into the ipad. where does the cash go into the ipad? china feed it in swiping the cash through the credit card reader attached to it. i don't think i've seen a dollar bill in genuinely like a decade. do you think we've passed the probably not
7:01 you haven't seen that dollar bill in a while, are your eyes okay? now that you've told me what concern trolling is, i'm gonna become perhaps even more annoying than i've already been. i wonder when we'll cross the threshold of more no cash allowed businesses versus cash only businesses. cuz we still got more cash only but it's the trend is going in one way.
7:25 i don't think that's gonna change until credit card fees go away, which they never will. china's doing it right. i don't even think you could use a credit card bro, they want it all on wechat. yeah it's like qr codes. no, yes no! we have friends who went to disneyland shanghai.
7:46 i can't believe i came last on that. that's crazy. they told me that outside of like the souvenir stores in disneyland shanghai, there are people that are like, tell me what you want to buy. and we will give me the wechat, like the amount of money on wechat that it costs. i will go in and buy it for you so i can get loyalty points.
8:07 like they will hang out at disneyland all day just being like a professional shopper to get loyalty points to then redeem at the store at disneyland shanghai.
8:17 apollo i got a i know you're a door dash. i got a bone to pick with uber. okay, i had to take it one because i did this is like the loyalty fuckery the orgy of ouroboros just goes around forever. what is this fucking turn man? okay anyway, he's not like elon musk winning a board game i
8:42 so i have uber one from my... i get uber one for free from my bank, basically. so i was gonna take an uber, i deliberately tried to buy the cheapest uber, because they don't put you in the backseat of an electric car that accelerates at 150 miles per second and then slams on the brakes as soon as there's a red light. they said, okay, no problem.
9:04 three seconds later, congrats, we upgraded you to a fucking ev where you're gonna sit in the back. you're riding emissions free. so i literally went back inside and then grabbed two grabol and then went back outside to wait for the uber. i was pissed off. this bro's grabol. i've been taking a lot of herbal grabol lately. nice shot, nice shot.
9:24 the way back i had a honda crv and i was like no problem but then i got a little motion sick because because it was a crv i was looking at my phone the whole time false sense of security. oh, yeah can't if i look at a phone in the car for more than like five seconds. i all that fucked for about two hours i just feel bad though like not
9:43 talking but also not looking at my phone like just sitting in the back staring out the window like sitting pleasantly yeah like he's driving a pet to the vet or something
9:54 if you're solo though, if you get motion, you just gotta sit in the front. i have done it before, but ever since i quit drinking, i haven't sat in the front of an uber in a long time. also yesterday i played some new first person friend slop with a lot of dithering. so i knew i was gonna need a little support. okay, can i say something? fuck, i'm not fucking yellow.
10:17 i was gonna say, there's like an indie game thing going on right now where every indie game is doing the damn like crt interlaced effect. like stop fucking stop, okay? that looked uh, that looked uh, that looked like you had decided you had enough. oh man, that's funny.
10:42 you're behind the pins. but yeah, i get it, it's artsy. it's not fun to look at. it makes my eyes hurt. just stop doing it. yeah. a lot of them at least give the option to turn it off. a lot of them do. one of the recent ones i played did not. there's also the, like, i want my game to look like a ps1 aesthetic game. yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:59 i'm like, i just can't take it. but then so i put the motion sickness patches on and i was fine. then later i picked up my kid from her camp and some of the other parents that i knew were like, did you just get off the cruise? i was like, no, we were away for a couple of weeks. we've been back for a while. it's nice. you know, it's a pretty relaxing time. and then like six hours later, i realized i still had the motion sickness stickers on the side of my fucking head like an idiot.
11:28 and then one time we were driving my mom's friends to the airport and in the back of the car, i was like, i don't feel good. and i leaned over and puked into her friend's purse. on the way to the airport to drop her off. i filled her purse with my puke. that's awesome. it's like the worst thing i could have done, man.
11:57 it sucks to have to puke and not have a place to puke. i had a place! now you have some sympathy for it, i see, but several years ago at pax east you were not as sympathetic.
12:10 honestly, like i wish i could have laughed and enjoyed that more at the time because now it's like that's funny but at the time i was like fucking stressing the fuck out for no reason. i was like, i'm never gonna be able to call an uber again, man. i'm so stupid, what do i do? i don't know what was up with me at the time there was another one that just kind of stopped happening but i remember and you might remember when i was i had an issue where
12:36 when i would come, i would get a crazy headache. yeah, of course. i don't remember that. that really sucks to go to a doctor and be like, hey, so listen, uh, when i, when i, when i nut my head hurts, like i'm going to die. i'd love it if that's how you described it to him.
12:57 it was fine. i remember too, i remember so like it happened to me at a point then it stopped and then it happened again at another point and i remember telling the doctor and he was just like well, uh you know, yeah, like like when you're masturbating i was like hey stop there. i was fucking i fuck. i was not jacking off. that's awesome.
13:19 oh, okay, one second. i'm being summoned. i, uh, if it makes you feel better, i get fucking nauseous after i nut. not like crazy, but just like a little for like 10 minutes. and then it goes away. you look at it, you look at it, you're like, ugh. i think it's just, i get nauseous after i nut too, cause i'm just, i'm full already.
13:39 hey! oh my god. ryan would have liked that. he would have liked that. he would have liked that. he would have liked that one. it is a cummy ache. yeah, you're right. now i just cum and i feel great. it is a cummy ache. honestly, i hate that you said that. but it's like the best, the best descriptor.
13:55 we need to bring back speakers corner, man. i guess this whole website is kind of like speakers corner. there used to be a phone booth you could go into in toronto. and for a dollar a minute, you could just rant into it and then they would play the best ones on tv. also known as the lying booth. hoping you get on tv. fuck, i busted.
14:22 me and corey won. i don't know did we die at the same time? let's go so i hope it's a hope it happens in real life winning or busting dying together oh dying if a 10 ton truck hits the both of us type shit i
14:49 i love that guy. i don't really care for his music but his politics are good. 6'7". justin, 6'7". oh yeah man, yes. it's so funny, uh...
15:06 working with japanese students and like they're doing six seven now i thought the six seven stuff was gonna die cuz like all the old people were doing it now and i was like oh this that's usually the sign right but like then i saw all the steam comments for all the mecha chameleon maps and it was i don't think we can get rid of this
15:29 it's kind of like if you're in the ninth grade, it could be like part of your vocabulary for your entire high school career. they're also doing scuba? i don't know scuba yet. scuba. but they're like a day and a half ahead of us, right? so what is scuba? what's scuba? i think you do like you move your hand in front like a like a fishtail or something and you just say scuba. scuba like that? i can't see you, but sure.
16:00 you plug your nose you plug your nose and you go yeah, like that isn't that just like that's like a you dip low and you do your hand like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
16:25 sea creatures can't just like leave us alone and let us have like the 0.0001% of the ocean that we swim in. are you getting mad at like the three sharks? i think we're not leaving them alone anymore. i know, that's it. i've never had a problem with the fish, fish never had a problem with me. i'm just saying, you know, like we don't go much farther than that. we being me mainly, like my experience with the ocean. it is true, you're like damn bro dive a little deeper.
16:51 yeah, let go like five feet that way man. it's like it's like bugs it's like when the bugs are on you even though there's like all that space that isn't you for the bugs to be isn't the bottom of the ocean like further away than the moon like there's no reason we should be fighting i thought i read that somewhere
17:11 also, yes, the japanese kids are not saying like roku, shichi or rokinata. they're just going six to seven, six to seven. you can't do that. you can't do that. you can do that. i got it. i'm not like it would be crazy if they were pulling up and they were going 6767. it's true. it would be like this isn't they don't really have much need for this kind of like language enriched program. i think it sounds like they're already speaking like a native english speaker.
17:39 so anyway like the new season comes out in like a couple weeks and the new raid comes out it's pretty fun wow of world of warcraft yeah no that's cool man
17:53 so many insulting things to me over the years that might have been the most like i respect you because that was like
18:13 maybe like 30% of the people showing up. yeah, just like fuck you if you just show up ago why are you playing wow and then leaves like yeah, literally i was hello anymore
18:26 i felt bad because i was doing wow, the classic hardcore group over the weekend for a touch of time and 9 out of 10 chat messages were, you're playing with apollo? and me going, no, no, i'm actually playing a hardcore classic. and then they wouldn't say another word. well they didn't fucking come up here and watch me, i'll tell you that. well, i hope this is an event that is good.
18:53 it's the brick leader blaster bro! it's the brick leader blaster. fuck, i hope i'm not that brick leader. someone's got two bricks. me, me, me! let's go. he's hitting me with a fucking gun. i love the wheel on the stream on that. corey. oh!
19:11 look he exploded into cigars. oh he dropped it on the ground. bunch of little lego cigars popped out of him. that's why i chose this character. the kory cigar thing is really funny. i'm getting a lot of mileage out of it.
19:25 i'm mad, there's a place i shop at sometimes and they happen to sell guns and stuff. and they'll occasionally send me coupons and then in the fine print it says, cannot be used on guns. i get a discount on a gun with a coupon is so funny. well, i did get tripped into, uh, i was buying a gun safe.
19:44 and they were like, you know if you buy a gun safe you get 10% off a gun. and i was like, oh well. i'm gonna twist my arm. and now i own a glock. and you stack that up with the coupon and then there's also price matching and all of a sudden you're one of those guys who's getting like 80 guns for $1.25 on tlc. it did stack with my academy rewards credit card which was an additional 5%. that's pretty good.
20:12 academy awards credit card is it's a store called academy. oh academy award academy academy it's a academy sports academy yeah, wait
20:38 for a second it sounded like an anime intro song. did anyone else get that? just for a split second i got a little vibe of like uh, i heard like the scream of an electric guitar. fuck man next time i go there i'm gonna say i'd like to thank the academy. that would be so good. no one will laugh.
21:00 they actually, it was a, when i was there and doing this whole thing and i was like oh yeah i guess i could, you know i guess i could get something. and he's like oh well we have a single uh, we have a single one of these left. and one of the other guys working the gun counter was like, oh man yeah like i was, i was hoping to buy that and i was like i'm sorry man i'm gonna buy it. he was like man what the fuck? like he like shuffled away. i'm gonna, i'm gonna, i'm gonna, if you buy that i'm gonna shoot you.
21:27 that's true, you could get your disc golf discs there. yeah, well i have a fucking huge coupon for them right now that they specified. you can't use it on a gun, but you could use it on ammo.
21:40 i'm gonna get ammo in a bunch of discs and they're gonna be like, what's this guy doing? he's gonna shoot the frisbees man. i'll turn i'll go and i'll do like clay shoot. yeah pull at the disc golf course. great jackass bit. kinda crazy frogs can be like all these colors.
22:03 that's what's so fucking crazy about frogs, man. imagine you saw like a blue elephant or something like that. you'd be like, damn, you see a blue frog? you're like, that's cute. they got blue frogs. yeah, yeah, 100%. i've heard a crazy frog, but this is ridiculous. i wish i had never seen that crazy frog's little penis. yeah, he does have that little fang hanging out. i still always get him confused with hamtaro. i think it's just never that's crazy! the neurons are never gonna get untangled on that one.
22:35 that's funny. because they're both hamtaro again? hamster dance is pre hamtaro. no, no, no. i'm pretty sure hamtaro was made in like 1972 in japan or something like that. for real? yeah. it was an anime.
22:55 damn. that's hampton? fuck, man. when i was a kid, that was the funniest website ever. i was going crazy about the hamster dance as a kid. it sucks that there's like... that, like, with cod and i joe back to back. oh yeah. oh god.
23:19 they added like a like a crazy like techno version of cotton. i'd go eventually i don't know when that change happened. that's like the only version i remember. yeah, i'm gonna fucking do it sorry, sorry the second column and they give you this easy shit, come on they did give me that this one's fucked up man i wouldn't i don't think i'd get this. this is a big moment for you. so it's like this cotton eyed joe like
23:49 did he like, like fuck his girlfriend or something? cotton eye joe is isaac cotton because they fell out because he has syphilis. but why did that keep him from getting married? well, the cotton eye joe isn't the guy who didn't get married. it's the singer of the song who's saying, if i hadn't met him, i'd be married a long time ago. yeah, but why does cotton eye joe have a fucked up vision affect his marriage? because he's friends with cotton eye joe. he's getting too much pussy, bro. oh, okay, okay.
24:16 i actually remembered kory's pattern. never mind, i also would have gone that way. my bad. i thought you were right. he's the ass pat.
24:34 it's so embarrassing that this is so hard
24:52 i really thought i had it. oh, we tied! excuse me, third place? that buzzes at me. what the fuck is this? pucky, man. oh, it's the pucks. okay, i thought we were dancing or something. we could. i won't stop you. i guess they just don't give you a puck in the warmup. they're like, i need to skate around. there was a puck, man. there was a puck. i didn't see the puck.
25:22 y'all gotta fuck me. just go down. you didn't see the fuck. i do, i don't see the puck. really? yeah, there's no puck still. well, you're doing pretty well, honestly. alright, so it wasn't me. you might just want to... oh my god, he's in... wait, no! oh, i see the puck now! i see the puck now! oh shit! i fucked up, i fucked up.
25:46 i like that. why did it go so slow? i didn't have my feet planted. we hit the puck, it goes two miles an hour late. the puck goes all under. i was using my arms instead of rotating. it's because i pinched it. i pinched the puck.
26:04 yeah, they like it when i'm i don't want to be like nightcrawler in x men 2 like i can't predict. yeah, like is lagging all over the fucking screen. i'm glad that would nightcrawler do i figured he was like a bug. he's glitching and glitches his movement. oh, he like turns into a shot. that went so fast. so so fast and so fast. so fast. so fast. so fast. that went. yes.
26:34 you guys built like a wall. and then this is what it's all a fucking please don't hit the one space of the shortcut that gives you two free golden bricks i might fucking cry my god that's actually crazy i'll actually cry one one one one one one one one what?
26:59 it's my golden brick! only one of them is free, the other one costs money. everyone has like a billion dollars, it might as well be free. i got zero fucking bricks, man. it's gonna be so funny when apollo gets all seven bonuses. you vote for the golden bricks! you better vote for my bricks or you're gonna fucking lose! i like everyone vote random on the bonus bricks. ohhhh! but i'm a crazy guy. hmm...
27:28 one one one one one one one guys his one one one metas. oh shit wanna now wanna know no, i can't let you get close yeah, i can't let you get close video didn't really do much really i
27:56 yeah, you don't like the line read man. i mean he says it like it's the start of a fight in a video game and the camera even zooms out like as if the cutscene ended. okay, maybe he's right. maybe it's not funny.
28:11 i think one of the issues is the video takes a long time to get there, but... yeah, no, i would agree. well, it's kind of like, uh, they're arguing and then maybe they're fighting. i don't really remember a lot of it either. but that's not really... they're two just really, really good guys. that's not what makes it funny. yeah, wait, how do you feel about pennywise versus joker? this caused a serious debate on the stream earlier this week.
28:35 did he really? i thought pennywise joker was pretty funny. all right, all right. we're uncovering new wrinkles in pennywise versus joker because there's one dude on the train that is just on his phone the whole time. and it's just like, what could you be watching on your phone that's more interesting than taking 30 seconds to see joker and pennywise dance battle on the train?
28:59 i don't know like i like to feel like if i was on the train and that was happening i'd be on my phone and i'd be riding in a discord server like there's these two fucking idiots okay
29:10 yeah, they interrupted the last pennywise joker video they were watching on his own. i love that video and i think i agree that if you were there in person it would just not even remotely be i'd be i'd be irritated. i would be absolutely loving it man. are you crazy? i would be i would feel so blessed to be in that one place on earth that's experiencing that.
29:35 i don't know if i've like, i don't know if streaming has made this a stronger feeling, but like, if i see people out in the world trying to make like a funny little tiktok or something, i don't think there's any more like disdain i could have in me for like, like it reaches a critical level.
29:52 as long as they're not like bothering other people, i don't care. and that's never gonna happen. they're always bothering other people. no, no. the crux of their bit is to annoy other people.
30:05 okay, but you like jackass though? you like jackass though? where he poops everywhere? yeah, because it's not happening to me. well, yeah, that's true. well, what about when he poops in the toilet in the hardware store that's not hooked up to anything? that is really funny. if i had to clean the toilet, i'd hate it. but since i don't, it's really funny. if i was there in the store, i would, you know, give him an eye for sure. oh, okay. i don't agree with this. i don't like this.
30:34 it's near britney does actually go we sleep on bricknado like it sucks too cuz i really what the fuck oh my god yeah, i guess if you all just kind of ram yourselves in the center it doesn't know what to do for a while can you still? that's funny oh jesus if i just stand in front of my oh
31:03 i'm gonna do that again. i'm gonna rev it up dude. let me increase the speed. knock it over here. i thought that was gonna hit ryan. it like goes slow. no, no, no, no, no, no. we can pass it back and forth. no! he's too fast. the game is more fun when you don't have any skin in the game. it is like the ball from lethal company.
31:35 this could be uh... it'd be funny if this was like someone in the chat but uh twitchcon long beach. so like 2017 i think was that one? i remember walking up to the convention center with everyone. i think you were there, paul. i don't know if you would remember this but there was some guy playing an acoustic guitar. i think he might have been playing like... in my mind he was playing santeria. i remember the guy with the guitar, yeah. i remember scowling and a bunch of people i was with were like, man he's just a guy playing the guitar.
32:02 i was like, i know but he's like, you don't have to fucking do that here man. like that's what i was like, man, maybe i'm kind of a girl. the last person from the 1800s die probably not that long ago. what do you think would be the late 2010s or the early 2020s? maybe you think a hundred 120 years old? yeah, is that like the world record? i don't know actually. i think it's a little lower than that.
32:29 apparently it was 2017 they probably lived in like japan or france now that i think about it italian italian
32:44 ugh, not playing. i'm playing, i'm italian, i'm italian. that's why he doesn't like stantoria because it sounds italian. it is an italian sounding word. i'm italian. i can't remember what it must have been like a metric chameleon video, but someone replied to the video going, why is justin racist? i don't understand why justin's racist towards italians. and i just replied, i'm italian. and they were like, oh, i get it now. yeah, i wasn't even like implying it that way.
33:13 no italians are chill, they're the best. i go like, hardly in the direction. anybody who isn't italian can get fucked. anyone who's not italian, yeah, fuck them. i have lots of friends who are italian. that's anti italian discrimination. columbus day episode of the sopranos mentioned. yeah, classic. classic episode. second only to the, uh, trying to find the russian guy in the forest episode. pine barrens. yeah, pine barrens. pine barrens!
33:43 meanwhile i'm looking for man crick in the pine barrens. i'm sorry guys. is that a wow reference? i require more mana. i can't afford to go in the fucking gate. i need a target. that's a crazy one. i need a target. i'd like to think that what justin said was also a voice line. i can't get in the fucking gate. i can't afford to go in the gate. i don't have enough studs to go in the gate. yeah, i gotta decide if i'm going to play friday night magic.
34:12 is your friday night magic standard or are they all standard? oh, friday night magic that's draft? everyone, i went last friday and everyone was very, it was a very chill pod. everyone was very, i hate, like i went once and my opponents either didn't want to talk or were children and i was like, this sucks.
34:30 but this last one everyone was nice and chatty a lot of shooting the shit is great. yeah, everyone's chill at friday night magic till some noob takes the full art land out of the pack during the battle for zendikar expansion and fucking heated fucking debate arises. why would it take that on the seventh on the seventh wheel? i did have a guy i did a draft last year and every time he got past the pack he'd go oh
34:54 why would someone pass this and like look around the room for someone to agree with and everyone's just looking down i can like it's crazy how vivid i can see this happening like you just perfectly described as soon as those motherfuckers started reconstructing the draft order from memory i was like wait, why would i pay $15 to play magic against these guys? like i'm just throwing my money away. i
35:21 i didn't realize there were three of them. i like playing roll magic. just saying that when you get the last card out of the pack. yeah, who the fuck would pass this token? nah, i got, i got, uh, not yelled at, but i didn't realize you're supposed to take the token out of the first pack. it's true, bro. you're not supposed to pass it.
35:44 later broke all our ankles and someone was like oh you're supposed to keep this i'm like i don't care about this goblin oh like guys i can somebody help me i drafted the thing that makes tokens but i didn't get any tokens please i need you yeah leave
36:04 i was gonna go goblins but then nobody left any goblin tokens in the pack. the meta now is dry erase tokens. everyone uses that shit. oh come on! if i'm making a token for a goblin then i'm drawing a little goblin on it and he's got a smiley face. love that. bro, i've touched the person with the shell like eight times.
36:25 don't play random, man. come on. no, pick random. pick random. it's funny. no, steal from one of the bastards. i got it too. i mean, you have the most thoughts. why, man? because i can't choose between corey and justin, so i gotta play. he chose me. you chose me. i chose random. i chose random. they all count the same. i thought it looked like it was on me.
36:51 i was like you play lorcona yet. i've not played ever kind i i draw the line. it's a big lorcona you know, you don't feel like at all oh play my what's funny captain hook when i go when i go play commander at this place it's usually on lorcona night and it's just it's just exclusively adults who i don't even think care about any like they're just like i just want to play a card game okay
37:14 there'll be maybe like one guy in like a like a fucking disney shirt of sorts. i was trying to think of a disney property. yeah, it's called the spirit jersey with the name of the property on the back. the secret is you wear the spirit jersey and then the shortest shorts you have and then the tiniest backpack that's ever been manufactured and it ties the whole look together.
37:37 it is interesting trying to do the vibe check and figuring out if someone doesn't fuck with the odyssey because they think like chris nolan is kind of like a tentpole blockbuster sentimentality merchant or if they don't fuck with it because like they recently became well versed in the greek classics even though you know he graduated high school with them when mostly they were just smoking weed all day.
37:59 all of a sudden they're like really really concerned about whether this cues exactly to the origin story that it's based on like damn bro, i didn't know you were greek this whole time. we we grew up together. i had no idea you were greek and then he goes
38:18 he goes, i am greek. i am greek. you wanna do it greek style and then you guys fuck each other in the butt. with no lettuce. with olives. yeah, with no lettuce, i think is the thing. when the greek salad got lettuce, i'm holding up my hand to pass on it because i don't wanna get explosive diarrhea. final turn. yeah, that's fair. i haven't fucked with any lettuce in a minute now.
38:45 you know now there's a new guy just dropped. it's the guy who says it's not the lettuce. it's the water they wash the lettuce in. the guy who's worried that lettuce is getting a bad reputation from all this parasite stuff. so now the lettuce is getting a bad rap. okay. yeah. damn.
39:08 i just bought this random. no, i clicked. did you? wow. it was random. we're all out of it today. i don't feel right. i don't feel quite right. it took my **** away. i have one of those days i checked my data when i woke up, said like 80. i said woke up to what the **** man. he's all woke up. he's up on a friday afternoon. 85 energy scored 93 sleep score and i was like, that ain't right. i don't feel right today.
39:36 something ain't right with that. i want to watch that'll tell me my sleep score. i think that'd be fun i gotta be like, what's the load? i don't know. i'm going this way now the lowest i've ever gotten is 23 and the 23 basically does they start sending you notices that are like sleep is good for you
39:54 yeah, yeah, yeah. the overall picture of your general health if you get sleep. should we head back to the studio? open up this morning. yes, please. yes, okay. don't believe what i saw? i was in a different song. i said, i gotta get some gabagool.
40:17 guys, i think this will be fun because it's fair. no, that would not be fun. i think it would be fun to vote for this one because it's fair. whoever lost the most will now get one in return. isn't that apollo? it's obviously me, man. what?
40:33 i thought i had it. i didn't have any bricks to lose in the first place. that's a favorite. wow, corey just handed that one to you. oh shut up. go random on this one. at least i'm winning a brick battle. look at me. good to be me. i definitely only won one brick battle. and so did justin. that's going. justin's winning! stupid ass first pass the post.
41:05 there's still more to get here. rank choice, we need rank choice. i think it should be stolen most bricks. maybe most times landed on an event space. most times hit by turkeys so the award goes to uh the post in the world cup.
41:18 stop voting for random you're giving your life away. well, i wasn't gonna win any of those ones. i don't know what any of those are. vote for one that he's not gonna win. you want me to win? vote for this one. this is me. i only roll odd numbers. so you guys are gonna hate fucking justin again somehow because you guys don't know how to play that game. i literally only roll odd.
41:44 you stupid fucking you stupid there's a real 50 roll, 5 odd numbers in 16 rolls. like, this doesn't check out. cause i'm odd like that, man. he's a freak. most time using thief. well now i don't know any of this. we should go with this one cause it's best voter. oh, i've been blocked. i've been harangued into voting for this. one of the most even numbers. watch that also be justin somehow. oh come on! i got a fucking prank! this shit makes no sense, man.
42:15 yeah, why did we all roll so many more even than i guess like the six seven and eight? i don't think i jumped a single damn time on the results. i'd like to get the technical transport, please. tenen pages favorite player. that's funny. it would be. that's really funny. congrats justin.
42:44 you won fair and square. am i the winner? yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's nice. i better be. if i'm not, i'm gonna be so mad. you'll be really funny. yeah. i did it. lego party's nice. you know what's nice is that they like made it and then they added some more quality of life shit to it instead of mario party where they make it and then like forget that it came out for like a decade. that's okay. we get the
43:13 they're re releasing ocarina of time again, man. that's gonna be just gonna do numbers. that is crazy. oh man! oh man! smoke ocarina of time? yes! as soon as i put my controller on the charger, pc froze me. oh no! justin, i got bad news for you, bud. well, you know, the good news is computers are really cheap right now. wait wait wait, apollo, hear me out?
43:37 okay smoke arena of time when the remake comes out every piece of the triforce you get you smoke a bowl. oh
43:45 you only get one. what don't you get nine pieces of the triforce? best fucking wind waker man. okay, well okay the first three things you get. the first three things you get that allow you to get to the temple of time. the spiritual stone. the spiritual that's what you smoke a fucking spiritual bowl for each one. spiritual stone dude, spiritual stone. see spiritual stone, yes.
44:09 i'm spiritually stoned. and then you go to the fucking temple of time to smoke a bowl. okay, okay. and then i don't know how many other temples are in the game. five? five more bowls, bro. it's that simple. damn, ryan, you gotta start smoking weed. it'd be so funny for ryan to become a pothead now. that would just be so funny. my kid's old enough. she can turn the ipad on herself.
44:42 my usefulness is quickly becoming quite vestigial. and i was on the train the other day and a dude started rolling a blunt like right behind me on the train. it stunk so bad. yes, man. that's the best kind. he was the dude with like the jbl speaker hanging off his backpacks. yeah. was he playing some good shit? luckily he wasn't playing anything, thank god.
45:11 probably forgot he had it but he was rapping at the door before it opened i could drink a case of poo and i would still be on my seat i was you know what i'm talking about joni joni shitshell all these poopers at this party they have a lot of piles
45:45 they got cramps of every tummy. they got, well, how do we, we were workshopping it a little bit last night. it kind of, we kind of got, we made some progress. let's put it that way. gabe off dylan was bad enough. we don't need joni schichel. yeah, but joni schichel is like, nobody's going to get offended by that, man. do you see kevin o'leary's top five albums video must watch. okay. this is important. mr. five, mr. wonderful's five most influential lps.
46:14 what? how could you talk about influential albums, bro? you're what do you mean? you're a business owner. two minutes and fifty five seconds. i literally can't play the video because it's on x, bro. he's going to tell me how revolver convinced him into opening a company that they eventually scammed mattel into buying for four hundred million dollars or something. like there are iconic albums. everybody has different opinions. everybody.
46:40 can i say i'm kind of digging lo fi kevin o'leary tiktoks, like inspirational tiktoks to fuck with. this is awesome. i gotta say great choice.
47:03 i'm also digging his glasses but he's the devil, he's obviously the antichrist but the fit is kinda nice.
47:21 he sounds like when greg turkington starts talking about his favorite movie.
47:35 there's nothing about what it made him feel or anything like that. it's just like, here's all the people that were involved in the production of the album. you know what he sounds like? a peloton instructor who's like, i've been a huge fan of david bowie. this is the 45 minute david bowie ride. and they just started reading the wikipedia article.
47:52 one of the top five in terms of how it influenced music for generations to come. the hissing of summer lawns by... what? no way! okay. i did not expect this motherfucker to pull out the hissing of summer lawns by joni mitchell. that is a... that is a cognitohazard. holy cow. ...mitch, the la sound. even prince said this was his favorite album. when i put this on for the first time, this is my original copy.
48:21 well...
48:39 heartbreaking, the worst person on earth actually has pretty good taste in music. dark side of the moon, must have disc in vinyl by the way, but also if you think about how long it stayed on the charts it was forever. again it was greg, greg turkington all over again. yeah this is my favorite album, it was number one on the billboard charts.
48:57 for like 15 years forever why no one had ever heard anything like it these this was a truly studio made album in london england a truly studio made album these guys don't even get along anymore but they're genius
49:18 that's true. if he pulls out either asia or gaucho, i'm gonna freak the fuck out. i'm gonna fucking freak out.
49:28 okay, first miss, rare kevin o'leary l, let it bleed by the rolling stones. come on, top five best albums of all time. don't be ridiculous, bro. how about something that didn't come out in the 60s or 70s, you boomer? how about some shit from a real decade, like the 90s or the 2000s? i mean, gimme shelter, i think, probably is their masterpiece. monkey man, i mean, live with me, they're iconic stones at their creative peak.
49:57 which is not that high up, but. my god, my god, my god. why? well, it makes new york with asia by steely dan is a technical masterpiece. let me let me pull it back a little bit. i can't believe it. like asia. why? well,
50:30 it makes new york with la. it is a technical masterpiece. every engineer that makes big music, makes music since then basically says this is the album. i mean these guys were beyond anal in their perfection. yeah, i'll say. well, it's better than getting ahead man. of course it's beyond anal. have you ever listened to gaucho bro? it'll change your life. i listen to this album with anything else. i mean,
51:01 asia's the song itself. anyways, everybody debates everything but these guys influence technically how music is recorded. there's no question about it. he is he is a demon that has taken on a human form. he has the appearance of a human being but he doesn't quite understand the essence of humanity yet still at no point has he ever said in this whole
51:25 three hour long video of the best albums of all time that he supposedly loves has he ever said what it makes him feel what it makes him think has he or has he only talked about the production and where it was made what city it evokes the sound of and how much time it spent on the billboard hot 200 you are imitating a human being you're not a real person great collection and good choices if i may one of them still alive i was lucky enough to see them play but
51:54 get a set of speakers, get a good amp, get a piece of a great record player basically, a good cartridge and put on asia. there is nothing like it. there's something like it. gaojo is kind of like it. i'm not gonna say there's nothing like asia. that's a little crazy, but...
52:14 people who think they like video games who watch the steam charts would love them. i would love to see kevin o'leary pulling out like a fucking... what was the name of the company that did the physical versions of indie games? him pulling a fucking copy of stardew valley off the shelf and being like, one dude made this. and millions of people have been playing it every day since, even till this day. it changed cozy games forever. a lot of people think it actually was like the rebirth of the cozy game movement.
52:43 i love it. i put it on all the time. that was a great video. the fact that he pulled out, not just the joni mitchell album, but like, not, not, i mean, the pissing of the summer lawns.
52:54 it's known, but he didn't just pull out blue and go like, hey, this is joni mitchell's best album. and then asia at the end is crazy. but this is what i say. you know how i said people who have real jobs usually have bad music taste? that's how you know kevin o'leary doesn't have a real job because he's got time to cultivate good taste in music. if he was actually working as hard as he pretends to work, his favorite album would be, it would just be the rolling stones one, to be honest with you. i gotta be real, i was thinking of kevin macleod the whole time.
53:22 kevin macleod and kevin o'leary very different. if kevin macleod went on dragons then, he would be like, let me get this straight. you're making all this wonderful music, some of the best music that's ever been made. you're giving it away for free? emi records is gonna come at you with a laser beam, my friend. these people have money, they have lawyers, they have careers, and they have no souls, they have no conscience. they are gonna squash you like a bug. and for that reason, i'm out.
53:52 kevin o'leary's favorite video games. i feel like there's a real strong chance that you would see something. there's got to be like final fantasy 6 because he has the right choices and i mean that negatively by the way because i'm not sure that he's ever listened to these albums all the way through or played a video game.
54:13 or maybe he has and i just don't like him. there's also the... i guess people i don't like could also like have good taste, but i'm still teasing that out, you know, in my psyche. so i feel like he would pick the right final fantasy, which would probably be final fantasy 6. and i also feel like he might pick like a chrono trigger. and then i really see him taking like a... something that's a little offbeat. maybe like a metal gear solid 2. something you wouldn't expect a corpo to be so into.
54:44 and then, we got two more left. the first madden game with an exclusive nfl license because it changed the dynamics of sports video games forever. he seems obsessed with stuff like that. souls game. oh, i could totally see. kevin o'leary fucking with demon's souls. not the remake. him talking about world tendency or some shit like that. it changed the way we see difficulty in video games forever.
55:12 you know he's saying tetris. that's true, he did have a lot of focus on chart performance. so you're thinking like tetris, wii sports, minecraft obviously. honestly, the same way i felt when he said asia. that was how i felt when my kid was watching a youtube video that was like the top 10 best video game songs of all time.
55:36 and then i was watching zelda, hey, here's a song from castlevania. and then my kid goes, dad, what's your favorite video game song of all time? and i thought about it and i said, it won't be up there. it's probably dire dire docks from super mario 64. and then they get to number one. do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. i went no way, bro.
56:01 that would be up there. i really thought the list was gonna be a little bit, i mean not that that's like a deep cut, but i thought it was gonna be more basic cuz like number six was like the pokemon theme song. so i really thought they were just gonna be like, hey, we made a video that was like, here's the most popular properties of all time so
56:26 you feel like your taste is validated. instead, they did a deep cut from the mario 64 soundtrack. what would kevin mcallister say? low key, he says a lot of fucked up shit in home alone. i'm not saying they should have left them home alone, but also, like with that many kids, maybe some of the kids should have been like, hey, we're gonna make sure we don't get left home alone.
56:46 at the end, like the buck stops with mom and dad, but like you got 14 kids going on a trip to paris on christmas day. maybe you guys could just like be ready on time. but he does say some shit like i wish i didn't have a family. like i don't think that he actually meant that shit, man. getting bullied with no recourse? bro, he was bullying. he was saying he doesn't want to sleep with ferguson or whatever because he wets the bed. bro, you're a kid. also, that's your real brother.
57:14 how is it bullying to not want to sleep in piss? because the dude was right there. you could at least wait until he like leaves the room or something. or just sleep on the floor bro! you're like five years old! you can sleep on the floor! uncle frank, if he slept on the floor he would have to go to physical therapy for like years afterwards. but you're five years old? you can tank a night on the floor or in the bathtub or something. it ain't that serious.
57:38 even john lennon did a night in the bathtub, right? i mean, i guess he did burn down that lady's apartment afterwards. yeah, but she didn't have a fucking chair. i know some of you don't have chairs either. many us americans don't even have maps such as south africa and the afghanistan. you ever think about that? you heard will ferrell's son's music? ferrell williams? yeah, man, i've heard his music. i've seen every minions movie.
58:07 it is kind of crazy there's a will ferrell and a ferrell williams. i never really put that together. and then there's actually two will ferrells because there's the fella from the red hot chili peppers too, right? where the heck is it bro? am i freaking? oh shit. are you trolling me? oh come on. yeah!
59:12 guys, can i say it? last night during dinner my wife and i were watching some movie trailers. funniest movie of the year is going to be the end of oak street. i couldn't believe it. i'm stupid and i'm dead. i'm stupid and i died after all that. i couldn't believe it seeing a ewan mcgregor and hathaway movie and being like, oh that's like a pretty star studded cast. maybe this is going to be peak. and then like out of the car window you see the damn dinosaurs? the world is being invaded by dinosaurs or something? and then being like,
59:44 anne hathaway? resident evil looks pretty good though. especially the part of the movie that looks like it's based on resident evil 7. other mommy doesn't look so good. sorry to say. what's your favorite dinosaur? i don't know man, probably one of the salad ones. i like the ones with the long necks. triceratops? triceratops is pretty cool. i can't deny that triceratops obviously has aura.
1:00:12 of the really cool looking dinosaurs, i'm actually a stegosaurus head. carnotaurus is peak. literally just like when you're a kid, it's your favorite dinosaur is a t rex. then when you're older, no, you're like, no, that's a kid's favorite dinosaur. i'll take exactly the same dinosaur but with horns. i see what you did, and it's not impressive to me. shoot the pot in case there's something in it. there's something in it. walk into the pot. make it make sense, bro. oh, my god. oh, my god. the tip of the arrow landed on my head.
1:00:50 it's funny to me you used to apologize after bad spelunky runs on youtube. bro, people in the comments were ruthless. and honestly, like a lot of you are still around and you're saying shit like, oh sorry, yeah i was 14. i dead ass don't forgive you, just to be honest. because you should have known better, for one. and also, like secondarily, like that shit still affected me.
1:01:16 it gaslit me into thinking that like i was a worse person because i was like not as good as polunky as they wanted me to be. so you might as well just stand on business because like you do not have my, you don't have my forgiveness and i certainly have not forgotten. just ask ketsuo taberu. at least they're standing on business by saying like yeah we all wanted you to do well aka lying.
1:01:41 obviously you were leaving the comment to make yourself feel superior. like i'm i might not be smart but i'm smart enough to realize that like i'm a human being. but at least lie, don't try to take the high ground when you were like, you were causing crash outs man. i don't care if you were in like the seventh grade, that's fucked up man. maybe streaming is a hard job? it's harder than you think and still probably easier than anything else. i think that's the most honest way to describe it. why do you play gold guy and not indiana jones guy? i'm sorry. i'm sorry about that.
1:02:11 the easiest job is whatever job lets people watch this in the middle of the day. i actually have come around to that idea as well. and part of the reason is because i didn't realize when when i was like 25 and i was doing this, other 25 year olds were like, wow, that's awesome. think about all the perks. but now that i'm 37 and i talk to other 37 year olds, they'll say stuff like, oh, it's fucked up. like,
1:02:38 they called an in office meeting at 11. so i actually have to do work today. and i'm like, is that really what happens? do you really complete like a half of the work you were gonna do in your entire life? like by the time you're 30? and then from 30 to 60, it's just sort of like being in places where people tell you to go and saying no questions on my end? it would be hypocritical for me to be mad about that because i've never done anything productive in my life, i guess.
1:03:07 it's just surprising, it's just surprising to me. there are people in the peloton discord that do the peloton ride while working from home. they'll leave messages in the discord that are like, it was really, sorry i didn't pb today, i had a surprise all hands meeting in the middle of the ride. i'm like, what? how does that work, man? what i mean is if the line goes up, then who cares to be honest?
1:03:34 obviously, obviously they think you're doing something. maybe you are doing something, man. maybe the whole world economy is predicated on guys going, nothing on my end. proceed. sounds good. no, i totally get it. yeah, that makes perfect sense.
1:03:51 and to be fair, i'm kind of building a false dilemma. because i was going to say, streaming is one of the only white collar jobs where you can't watch streams while you're working. but that ignores the fact that the lingua franca of this website is just watching other people's clips and reacting. so we're still making, you know, the 100 year old streamer makes clips the old fashioned way. but maybe i'm behind the times.
1:04:17 you guys know they're open at jersey mike's in vancouver? finally, now that it's been probably butt fucked out of deliciousness by private equity, we finally get one. i did not know that. pretty exciting. it's taking over the location of a once independent bakery that somehow went public on the, i don't know if it, i think it was the tsx venture? it's replacing a public company that made cookies to sell in person. i don't even think they had like an e commerce branch.
1:04:44 but the most annoying guy of all time. what's the meta at jersey mike's? it doesn't open till october, so i got lots of time to practice my order. you gotta get the sandwich mike's way. is it animal style? that's what they call it when you get mayonnaise on the sandwich. yo, let me get my sandwich the mikey way. i still think it's fucked up every once in a while. like, you know, if i've had the worst day of all time and it's like 9 p.m. and i haven't had dinner, i'll get subway.
1:05:14 one of the subways i've been known to frequent is the only subway i've ever seen that does sauces first. like, i should say, you get the meat and the cheese and then toast it. and then you go, i'll take lettuce, tomato, red onion. and the lady, every single time she goes, here we do sauces first. and i go, okay, i guess, like it throws me off my whole rhythm, man.
1:05:40 the one thing i will say, easier to put the sauce on top of a more solid substrate. and i'm not defending them. easier to put the sauce on top of a more solid substrate than to get like a bunch of iceberg lettuce on your sandwich and then they just squirt some honey mustard on top of the lettuce and then try to smear it with a knife. could stop it from falling out the side of the roll as well. don't call a footlong italian herbs and cheese a roll. this is not a
1:06:09 diminutive me and bow it's a fucking foot long baguette man with it doesn't just have herbs man it has imported herbs on top of it they're they're not normal herbs tone they're italian don't don't say nixir bend on nl okay first off i have a chinese name it's ruyi yan i think something like that ruyi on
1:06:40 and i'm not ben don, i'm buu ben don. i'm whatever the opposite of ben don is, okay? i haven't learned that yet, but i have you basically double your vocabulary as soon as you learn how to say not. in english, sure, they're smart and stupid. in chinese, i'm more of a, you know, ben don, buu ben don merchant right now. dr. wu bajang shi? can you explain to me what this would be? because dr. wu already, i mean, he was a bit of a demon. i think he was like a heroin dealer.
1:07:10 i don't get it. why are we singing a song about dr. five? nobody said that. i just wanted to show off. yeah, doggy's gone. dog's gone. john, what are we gonna do? john wick. john's... john's dog's gone. now do michael mcdonald. send a message to my mobster.
1:07:39 he has murdered my canine friend. so now i'm taking it to the streets, taking it to the, taking it to the, no need for running, taking it to the, you know what i, the guy from mad tv? look what i can do. okay, we're getting, it's a multi faceted bit. it's getting, the bit is too dense. now bring back randy jackson.
1:08:08 i honestly, i don't mean this in a negative way. randy jackson on american idol has no personality outside of saying dog, which i guess would fit with the john wick bit. i just bailed too early cuz he could just say they killed your dog, dog. and for that reason, just when you thought you were out, they pulled you back in and now it's like silvio from the sopranos, okay? what do i do here again? what do i do here again?
1:08:40 you just shoot her in the head and she dies? pretend she's a shopkeeper. so i see you're saying the ultimate suggestion would be something like, oh, i don't have paste. oh shit. oh no, no. i was going to jump on the bee, land on the platform, blow it up and then shoot her. and then we would have had our first win. the bee went, they're moving all erratic like man. i look so awesome. i definitely do not look like a
1:09:21 somebody who would like, i don't know, sprinkle drugs on you to secure a conviction or something like that. actually, i'm cool because you can tell i got my body cam. i mean, it's uncovered, bro. it's uncovered. put your hands on the collar. you mean this right here? uh huh. uh huh. uh huh. well, yeah, it's like that sometimes. so we're going to need you to do exactly what i said right now. get down on the ground. oh, hell no. yeah, it is.
1:09:57 let me ask you something. i know what kind of man you are. let me ask you something. now bane. doesn't bane do this one though? doesn't he do this? yes, would be. how much is the extra guacamole? 375 for extra guacamole. and the citizens of gotham applaud for this. something like he's rubbing his nipples. i always thought it was more like in the armpits.
1:10:31 he's putting his fingers in his armpits and then going like mary catherine gallagher. feel the game through haptic feedback tied to in game events. oh, you know, i know my problem. i know my problem immediately. i didn't launch it through the mod manager. i launched it through the tact vest software. i have to launch it through the mod software or the mod manager and that'll work as long as you ignore the fact that
1:10:58 i got 17 errors on the debugger when i put it... indie games with the debug log open really is like, what the fuck do you mean there's like 80 exceptions that launch as soon as you've opened the game? wait, and actually when i turned it on i felt it vibrate bro. can you turn it up? i think i'm on 200 but i'll crank it. that's just okay now it was on 195. this is now as high as it goes.
1:11:34 okay, when you die, it's too realistic. it doesn't shake you because you can't feel anything. why do i feel like his vest is definitely not functional? hey, niceboy95, your last message was please change your game name in the twitch directory. so are you just like a guy who sees problems everywhere you go? is that your special interest?
1:11:53 hey, i think that something's configured incorrectly. can you go to the settings menu quick? i want to see if motion blur is on. because it's just like i noticed the message the first time and i went whatever people are like that sometimes. i'm a software engineer. yeah, i know. maybe you i get it. you're guiding power guiding others to a power you can't possess. you can't fix your own software because the managers won't let you so you're coming over here trying to mess with my shit. i totally understand. it's nice to feel powerful.
1:12:21 you're 100 on that? i know what it is. i signed with the software engineers, bro. and we boo the founders. we boo the founders. unless they're watching and they want to invest, in which case... oh my god, hi. hi. category pharaoh. shouldn't you be changing the font on the amazon kindle app on samsung galaxy phones? recently, does anyone here work for audible? this is like maybe episode 11 in the audible saga. they pushed an update to audible
1:12:53 that has removed the chapter names on all of my audiobooks. great update guys, i don't know what you fixed. probably, hmm, stability, stability improvements. so now i'm looking for what chapter i just listened to, i have no idea because the book has like 98 chapters. so now i'm going to be like, was i on chapter 71 or was i on chapter 74? like i have no idea. and then they're talking about some shit with asher bonipol and i'm like, fuck that bro, we didn't figure out what happened with nevertitti.
1:13:22 wait, stans, you got one of these vests as well? no, he's self vibrating. you embarrassed him. now i feel so bad. he's going to feel so left out. i just tried this vibrate thing for the first time. it's incredible.
1:13:39 yeah, that's what we didn't describe. no, it's really incredible. it's a great sensation. does it work when we're talking in the discord too? well, i had to turn off the audio. i thought that would be weird. it's like massaging me. it feels great. i was not even... i was maybe exaggerating a little bit on stream, but actually while ludwig was crashing out and he's like, i can't focus on anything. i felt like more locked in than i've ever been in my entire life.
1:14:09 it feels like i feel so safe when it's vibrating me. same, same. it's genuinely like someone is just doing a deep tissue massage all over my body. i have like laser focus, especially like when it's a constant like. i said it's only on subs though, so i'm going to be making money while you guys are making memories. oh, that's a great idea.
1:14:32 thanks for the 1000 bits. that sounds disgusting. 1000 bits would rock my world, brother. yeah, literally. god, this shit makes me want to say, do you know how fast you were going? yeah, you and i, we're best friends forever now. oh my god. kkk, charge up your club all the way.
1:14:50 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
1:15:18 that didn't even vibrate you? i swear. my god. why does it dance on my body? what the hell? wait, i gotta tighten my vest actually. wait, we can make it so that it's audio and then i'm just gonna hum the entire time. how about this? that actually vibrates so much. okay, okay, so it's not all bad. holy shit. that felt crazy. okay.
1:15:50 well, the worst item became worse. i'm not even wearing a vest. that scared the shit out of me. oh, yeah. oh, this game is so fun, actually. see you nerds. what? you piece of shit. i was trying to hit your balls. he just turned into spam. now i'm freaking huge. okay. hey, stan, deal with that. wait, i'm different. i just killed myself on accident. oh, frick.
1:16:23 okay. oh, no, i'm so far away. oh my god what a shot so funny to me. hey, there's more that came from buddy. oh really? oh really? oh, no, no, you better not try. oh i missed oh no there's a health bar
1:16:57 well i mean there's really a hill for you just died. wait where did the tweener go? right here! what the hell stan? uh okay. okay get a car charge up in the chute and into the water! dude he's been gone for so long.
1:17:19 wait, good body block. no, i'm rolling. come on, man. we both lost. oh, my god. this guy. i'm throwing. okay. okay. okay. okay. that was a learning experience for everyone. i'm going to get you guys so angry at me that i'm going to roll up the suit and shove it up my ass.
1:17:50 what's wrong with you? you think they make like a bottom bear for the suit? like a full body version? hey hop on in, hop on in bud! yo give me a ride? i tried to! no i don't trust you. you're driving this shit off. why? you're driving it off. there's no way. it's too close for us to be helping each other. okay. i don't know. i think i
1:18:20 it does. oh, i can't see. honestly, not a good flashbang now that i'm thinking about it. i just got carjacked. you just turned around all of a sudden. so that's how we're going to play, huh? no respect. dang, dude. no, no, no. you son of a bitch. get the hell out of there. come on. no, it's on top of my bowl.
1:18:53 how do you break out of this? frick dude! yes! no! let's freaking go. oh my god, what a putt. that was insane. don't look at me, don't look at me, i get nervous. that's so sick. five seconds, one putt, it's everything on the line. okay, okay, okay. how high do rocket boots jump? not that high.
1:19:32 yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck pity. whoa, whoa, whoa. kill ryan, kill ryan! i can't see! yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, whoa, whoa! are you down to the right? oh, shit, i blocked your ass. oh, good shield. fuck off! good body block. fuck off, ryan! no, don't go over the hill. hey, hey, come here, come here, bud. oh, shit. it's going in, it's going in, you can't stop it! fuck off! no! wait, it fell off. oh, no, oh, no.
1:20:15 yeah, nice driving from nice driving. yeah, we gotta get we got a some squeaks. why i'm in last let me get one. oh ryan for cabo verde i was playing for cabo verde. that's it. go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
1:20:52 oh crap! oh crap! what is happening? oh crap! dude, putting up this hill is... you broke my shins. dude, stop, gabe! world's greatest! world's greatest! okay, okay, okay. you got it? what the hell? it's like impossible. it's at the top of that hill. world's greatest! kill riot! kill riot! kill riot! no! oh, i thought you already won when you said world's greatest. okay. holy shit.
1:21:25 damn, what a shot. no, no, no, no. shit, shit, please. did you just bounce the ball in your head? if it goes out of bounds, it'll bounce back on your head. why did you look the first place? i can't freaking even punt. no, no, no, no. wait, good shot. go, go, go.
1:21:59 that was a great attempt. you can right click to aim. i swear to god, i've just been using mouse one. that's so crazy. that's bad for me because we're tied. oh, you're so lucky. nice try.
1:22:32 the air horn that makes you feel safe. it's still vibrating. it's still going. you fucked me up. you fucked me up. the air horn won't stop. the vest won't stop. it won't stop. oh my god. i don't know what you did to me, but that was not okay.
1:23:02 yo, they're they're cards. they're cards, guys. what is the electro magnet to do? that's shield. shield. oh. oh, crap. i was trying to get the item chat. i'm stupid. where are the cards? they were in the back. where are you guys? wait, how do you how do we cross this castle? where are you?
1:23:31 wait, i see. would you finish? yeah bro easily. what are you talking about? no, fuck. i'm flapping for my life over here, don't say obviously. what took you guys so long? i couldn't get across the goddamn bridge, i got beauty pipe. okay, wait, wait, wait. you got beauty pipe. way great movement tech. thank you. electromagnet makes the best bridge. okay.
1:24:02 oh my god. that's how little i wanted to get hit by you. no! please! no, what? what? that's my landmine that killed me. oh no. no, oh, i got on the other side. no! you're such an asshole. please, where i am? where? where? where? no! yes! no! oh, that's freaking dope. ryan, please die. no, i froze myself. oh my god. superb. the perfect crime. oh, i was here the first...
1:24:41 come on, come on, roll, roll. this is fucked up. we need to band together and heal ryan, guys. for real. what are you talking about? i'm not even in first. i won with the least amount of swings. it was probably made easier by not being vibrated, to be perfectly honest. i think that i don't want to be in the game. i got too much heat on me. i got too much heat on me. it's very, like, stimulating. i don't know what to focus on. oh, wait. i need to spend my winnings on some swag. one second. oh, oh.
1:25:09 damn, damn, he's good. fucking, the only one way to protect myself. the golf cart? that's crazy. my god. whoa. dude, i thought you missed. it's homing. wow, mind red. stop. wait, truce. you're the one who attacked me.
1:25:46 because i thought you were gonna attack me. yeah, because you attacked me every time. that was last game. that's meta gaming. oh, that was such a good air horn. i'll remember this. it's hole one. enemy for life. oh my god, i dove over it somehow. where's the hole? it's so far.
1:26:15 it's still going
1:26:43 i think squeaks is right. i think the air horn breaks the it's bug it goes off like at least six times longer than the duration of the air horn and it like dances. it's not just like crazy it feels it doesn't feel like an air like something totally different truce truce truce truce. okay. okay truce truce truce. oh
1:27:10 my god, yeah, now i need an arrow. man, this is good stuff. my god. my mind is stopped.
1:27:38 no, no, stop it. it is still dancing around my body. what the hell? control for the launching yourself. that's messed up. wow. what a shipping. watch out. here come that boy.
1:28:15 come on come on. i don't think i'm allowed to shoot until spectator why am i getting buzzed? oh my god? hey here we go like you like like a yelling god okay, i'm so far away
1:28:46 my god the front of the stomach oh
1:29:18 okay, okay. oh, it's still it's going great here. you see in the light every time the light moves that's a vibration this vest can't be good for you, right? well, i'm frozen no, why is it vibrating me i'm finished i always forget you just hit people don't do it
1:29:46 wait, you did not block the hole. you did not block the hole. no. someone move it. someone move it. someone has to decide. wow. the hole opened up. the hole opened up. my god. no. no. go, squeeze. go, squeeze. yes, yes, yes. it has to be so hard. don't freaking move. my god.
1:30:17 that was so fucking annoying. you should have just moved it then. you should have moved it. i didn't know how to move it, you should have moved it. no, that's evil. that's so evil. yeah, gee. why, why, why? wait, what? i don't think it's make out, make out, make out. smart, very smart. okay, this is good. he's for me.
1:30:56 the greed the greed killed him. i'm gonna make it. i don't know. tik tok. tik tok. you better do it right. no. wow. that's crazy. all right. i see that.
1:31:25 oh, if the ball's in motion. mm hmm. w motion. w motion. very good. thanks, dad. i'm impressed. good for you. i'll kill you. no, it's so far.
1:31:52 oh, you can hold r. oh, you can cheat. i got you, i got you. what is happening? where is my fucking ball? okay, this is do ryze gonna win anyone? airhorn? anything? oh no! that airhorn was so good. oh no, i thought i outgained. can you stop this ball? no way. wait, we're getting owned. by the way, that's still vibrating right now.
1:32:27 i think my ball went somewhere. just don't know where. if you get golf cart on a par five that shit is insane. yeah. wait, i got it off in time. you're i'm clutch. no, i knew that. that's how did you chip in a chip then jumped in the river to try to dodge the laser.
1:32:58 holy... i mean, i just can't defend against that. that's bad for us. guys, we're not doing... what the fuck? you squeaked. you said friendly! you really need to not get last, i'm sorry. oh my god. oh my god. we are not doing a good job of blocking ryan to win. yeah, i'm 200 points out.
1:33:25 that was the most insane map ever though. okay, fine everyone every item on ryan guys, come on it's only hole 11. there's plenty of time to come back that's really good, okay. oh i see mine actually might be broken how about now?
1:33:59 oh no. okay. good thing i wasn't sitting on the ball. okay. now i was. how many of those do you have? are you serious? no. okay. that's quite bad. it's vibrating so much. is it broken? mine is still going from the beginning. oh, wait. hold on. that might be okay. you are.
1:34:35 like why me i'm getting ganged up every time i look around 10 in a row. oh i got it. what am i supposed to use these items on if not someone right next to me? save it save it save it. got a coffee. are you kidding me? no, that's huge that's actually huge oh
1:35:11 i have to go for this. any air wars? any? i'm coming. i'm coming. dude. no, i even shot the blicky. i'm going to kill myself. and it's your fault. i want you to know that. i want you to know that. damn it. what the fuck? please, please. holy cow. nice. nice. nice dodge. okay. smart play.
1:35:50 yes, let's freaking go. yes. you know what? that's actually good. that's great for us. i agree. 40 seconds to farm. guys, we only have three holes left and ryan is still winning. that's all i need. that's more like it. that's more like it. he's got lightning in a bottle. it's infinite items. i feel like it's insane. what does he want?
1:36:28 no way, no way. oh my god. the greed, the greed actually will kill him. the greed will kill him. the greed will kill him. no! he's actually good on pistol. no way! can't believe that. everything i got sucked, just to be clear, everything i got sucked pretty bad. there's no way you would throw away dueling pistol for something that sucked.
1:37:02 i had 100% confidence someone was getting tagged off the jump there. no, i was trying to murder you. okay, wait, kate's in first now. no, no, no, no, i'm not, i'm not, watch this. he's gonna score this and he's gonna be number one. you're right. by ten.
1:37:29 you're still number one. by ten. you're number one. you're number one. okay, last hole by the way. last hole. last hole number one is ryan. eighteenth hole is a damn bar. hey, don't tell my wife. i see you. my god.
1:38:02 i actually am gonna lose it. i've been air horned on a pie. i can't stop her. yes. can you say you guys let her win? what do you mean? i worked hard for 16 holes. we got to stop this guy. let me do anything. what are you talking? look at how many kills i had to get just to defend my lead. you guys were doing no work together.
1:38:33 i think both of us, whoever scores, whoever have both of the members pot in wins. i see. i can't believe you didn't even try to run me over. oh my god.
1:39:06 okay, i got not all monsters see you oh wait, wait, i got a better idea. see you damn you really are tiger woods posting are you really yeah, no good blind good blind good blind good blind wait any chip
1:39:34 you shall die. no! i'm the ghost! oh my god. oh my god. what is happening up there? squeak, squeak, get over here. on my way. we have to kill raya so that he doesn't get... yeah, yeah. so as long as... wait, wait. just as long as one of them doesn't score, we win. just hit me in the ankles. oh my god. beautiful. squeak, squeak, no, please. it killed me.
1:40:04 without those comms i wouldn't have gotten that. this is why we practice. good. okay, ryan, this one's on you. what happened? she pistol me off the cliff right at the beginning and i'm so far away. what? i had one too. shoot. that was a crazy shot. yeah, i tried.
1:40:37 i got one. i got mine. this is fine. this is fine. that's okay. they got us. they got us. a little bit. the air hockey mine though to try to hit his ball out of the way. that was sweet. i'll be a human shield for you. whoa. i'm gonna go for double item here. oh, what the hell? it was a ball. what a shot. no, no, no. okay. nevermind. i'm gonna save this for next round. toxic toxic. oh, mine games. mine games. mine games.
1:41:10 oh, i have double golf cards. wait, wait, wait. ryan, are you behind me? yeah. oh, my god. fucker. i'm actually gonna drop you. just the worst. let's freaking go. okay, i got it. oh, my god. it's actually a battle of skill. the movement. i've never seen anything like it. no, no, no, no, no.
1:41:46 i can't see. nice. oh my. that was huge. that's insane. if it was anything but the camera, how did you get it? game sense. it's just game sense. laugh like an evil. like, wahaha. okay, you might need to play defense. i'm so far.
1:42:17 no, they're lining me up there like to be up what the fuck? oh my god. oh my god. come come come come come on. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god
1:42:48 wait, but now i gotta wait for my shit to wear off. oh shit oh my god oh
1:43:19 they shouldn't give you a shield after you get knocked down. how about you shut the fuck up? the only reason we even went through that rigamarole is because you froze me otherwise my ball would have been in the hole. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. the vibration only makes me stronger. who's got these damn cameras? what the hell? oh no, here she comes. no, no, no, no. grief mode activated. no, the... oh no. who's is that? please.
1:43:54 okay, i just don't want to die. no, stanley! it's not my lightning, man. we got one in. we got one in. good luck to you. squeak, squeak, you have to do it. my ball is so far away. wait, wait, i got an idea. i can only kill him. let's freaking go. you can hit your ball while giant, but it's bad. oh, you killed yourself, brother. yeah, i did not realize. okay, we gotta farm items. we gotta farm items. whoa, what a shot.
1:44:33 i blocked it. i blocked it. good, nice, nice, nice, nice. i blocked it, bro. i blocked it. we have to keep griefing. yes, yes! damn it, stans. oh, was that you? wait, come on. can i not reach the hole here? no, not even close. oops. oops is so funny. oh, shit. oh, you know what? it's okay. i will spawn the other side. so, it's all good. thank you.
1:45:22 got her. i knew someone was close. oh my god. i'm in. i'm in. i'm in. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. ryan blew me up. i'm in. i'm in. i'm in. nice. oh my fucking god. dude, the snipe from someone was crazy. dude, we have to kill ryan. this guy is hilarious. come on, stans. join our team. i agree, guys. yeah. he's a fucking menace on the links. clearly the evil. not in my country club.
1:45:56 nice shot! thanks for moving me closer to my ball. you're welcome. oh, never mind. i shot myself off the edge. nice shot! nice shot! nice shot! no! no, no, no! damn it!
1:46:22 please make it, please make it, please make it, please make it, please make it, please make it. my anger overwhelmed me. that's really funny. my anger. so far. i'm gonna go for the shot. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. she's in. oh my god, what a shot. hello? oh my god. i think i have time to farm. kill stiss, kill stiss. admit it, you're jealous of the tech. you're jealous of the tech and the speed. damn it. it's anyone's game. relax.
1:47:05 no! oh, if it was only a high level, it's wrong. oh my god. damn. uh oh, here comes burger. okay, that's it. attack of the titans. let's go. that's what you get, man. get your ball closer, squeaks. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. what? the burger hits it so hard. oh no. do you have any items? what the fuck happened? the invisible ninja.
1:47:47 my god, i was gonna try something a little sneaky on school you gonna hit him with the rocket club okay, oh i can see your items i see like that's gonna change how you play yeah, well, you know what little but it does. oh my god. oh
1:48:14 that's the p.s. that he was waiting? you said farm items! i'm coming off your comms! that's not what i said to you! well guys, look at... what the heck is this? the fuck was that man? you ran in front of me, you ran in front of me man!
1:48:34 yeah, check this out. run in front of this. aw, same. i'm right next to you. oh no! why are you talking shit to me? i got evaporated, man. dude, you just got too much tea. they hate me. they hate me. okay, that's huge. i think i got a great strat. oh, no! i can't reach. yeah, yeah, yeah. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. what a shot.
1:49:14 that doesn't kill you? i got invincibility. damn it! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. yes! fight! yes! no! yes! we did it! oh my god, that was crazy. what a shot from zane. what the hell? great shot, great shot, stance. you can make it! this card is for us.
1:49:57 stans, you're kinda on your own on this one. yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, i'm going crazy. i'm actually doing tricks on the lynx. yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. thank you. oh my god. no way! oh my god. oh my god. that's actually so bm. all right, you guys wanna play like that? here we go. here we go, i hope you're happy. block the ball, block the ball! block it! i hope you're happy. oh no, attack on titan. oh no, please. please save me.
1:50:31 how about you fuck off, stan? stan, please. stan's. fuck off! i'm not even stan's, man. quicks, you have to launch it. you have to launch it. i'm only gonna... i'm gonna kill ryan. oh, i fell through the map? you pushed me through the map? i got it, i got it, i got it. you abused... she abused a glitch, jud? she abused a glitch? it's a speedrun skip. oh, dude, double jump boosts are insane. oh my god. no!
1:51:03 it's okay, his ball is right here. his ball is right here. that's fine, that's fine. that's fine. crazy. stop that. wait! wait a second. go into the wall. yes! just push it, just push it slightly. no, not the water! it's okay, it's okay. ty, ty, ty. i think i wait out the spawn. oh, not a golf cart. lucker dog.
1:51:40 i don't believe my eyes kate are you in first? it's all for nothing, right? it's this is this is the whole that matters. this is it. yep. oh, it's everything or nothing here why not whoever wins this wins the game? oh
1:52:09 you're so lucky, you're actually so lucky. stan, your ball's behind you. oh, no, it's a sick movement. oh, that would have been so sweet. i'm 400 meters away, by the way. best of luck to you, skates. i'll be there in just one sec. that was stupid of me to do. wait, we could be cruising here. just score, just score. no, not for you, i knew it. i knew you would do some shit. what am i doing? oh, no, you knew me. i'm matt bryant!
1:52:45 and then the part of the century to put us back in the game. my god. my god. wait, where's my ball? damn. holy shit. i don't know how it's supposed to be heat seeking. you guys are cold as ice. we dropped. we dropped. that's what you have to see.
1:53:15 friendship protected? we are all equally great. absolutely. what if you just say something like that? what if you absolutely... no, that's a tie. like ending a zoom meeting. yeah, absolutely. we'll reconvene later.
1:53:38 this guy sucks. why do you hate me so much? with the vest, i fear the vest has become normal on my body. yes. you're missing for the rest of your day. yeah. i need to take a nap for the rest of the day. actually, i'm not gonna lie. it was way too stressful. it was stressful. it does get the heart rate up for sure. oh, you got me.
1:54:08 i'm not driving. no one's driving. dude, it's still going.
1:54:39 it's the dude, i think we bugged it! it's actually it's actually on the zone. oh, you're right, it's a ghost! what the hell's going on? wait, is it riot? oh my god, it's riot. oh my god, it is. it's me with a smoke bomb, y'all. so evil.
1:55:00 how long is a smoke ball last? i think we have been so it lasts forever. oh man, what a game. what a game. i'm not evil for being a ghost driving a car. that's literally that's silly. that's not evil. that's silly. once you start doing muhahaha as your normal laughter, you're actually evil forever.
1:55:27 that's just the way movies have trained you to think. yeah, the movies came out before you did. wait. all right, well i'm gonna go eat some lunch. yeah, thank you guys. game us was a blast. later. gg. i had a great time. talk to you all next time. bye. later chat, i'll send you over to my wife's stream. have a good weekend and i'll see you on monday. goodbye.
1:55:58 the shutter, shutter falls, you've seen it all in 3d, for it's your favorite foreign movie. we're gonna rent out the dave and busters when josie comes home. i don't know the words, man. i know the tune and the vague scaffolding, but i don't remember the words.
1:56:37 he's always saying some shit that's like, you know, he's always using words like galleria. we're gonna mosey the galleria when josie comes home. when josie comes home? yeah, man. i'm a different kind of beast. when josie comes home, i'm like so good. i'm like she's the pride of the neighborhood.
1:57:00 she's a sasa, she's a live wire she moves like a something with her pants on fire down on her own, jam, jit a ka damn, damn, it's been a while