contractually obligated tokyooooo - Bits and Banter [05⧸21⧸2026]

Name: contractually obligated tokyooooo - Bits and Banter [05⧸21⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-24
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "contractually obligated tokyooooo - Bits and Banter [05⧸21⧸2026]" — 179 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-24

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0:00 nah man, i'm sick of tv shows. we need more movies, dude. you know, i do have to acknowledge there's a little operator error though. i was watching some sports on tv and then they were like, the thrilling conclusion, the final season of this show.
0:18 and i was like, what the fuck is the name of this show? the show is called hacks. and that's how i realized that for the whole time that hacks has been on the air, i've had it confused with devs. i thought hacks and devs were one show that was like interchangeable. i didn't realize hacks was about like a nightclub comedian and devs is about,
0:47 i have no idea. i have no idea what devs is about. i think it's about a game studio that makes a game that's too good so people start to die or something.
0:58 wait, wait, i was thinking, wait, wait, wait. i was thinking about coitus. i was thinking about dome. i was thinking about my penis in the world's biggest pussy. wait, yeti, yeti, you might be on, you might be onto something there. it has the exact cadence of the live version of isis by bob dylan from the rolling thunder review.
1:19 and you might say there's no rhyme, there's no meter. yes, it sounds exactly like the live version of isis from the rolling thunder review from 1975. i was thinking about turquoise. i was thinking about gold. i was thinking about diamonds and the world's biggest necklace. oh, as we rode through the canyon, through the devilish cold. i was thinking about isis, how she thought i was so reckless.
1:47 you see a 12 year germa follower accidentally post an ex video link last night during his stream, a noted community member, and he just threw it away? well, like what was the link? because like it depends on... first off, a 12 year germa follower is just a guy. that's not like a three term president. that's just a person. 12 year subscriber is like a little different, but 12 year follower
2:14 it was gay porn? what does that matter? it was a gay ass eating tutorial? okay, that's really funny. but i don't, what do you mean throw it away? like they don't have to be so embarrassed that they don't use their account anymore or something like that. do you need, this is a genuine question from a place of curiosity. do you need a tutorial on how to eat ass?
2:37 he got permed for posting it? well, you shouldn't get permed, but like definitely like timed out with an obligatory like don't post links even though it was obviously an accident. no, you know what? fuck that. he should be exonerated. it was clearly an accident based on the secondhand hearsay that i'm hearing. there's breaking the rules
3:01 and then there's violating the spirit of the moral and ethical code that we all live by. he didn't violate the ethical and moral code that we all live by. he just broke a twitch rule. that's not real.
3:15 dude, i forgot all the anecdotes are spilling out of me like you just knocked the belly out of a pinata. you know what my daughter said last night? i swear to you this is fucking true. she said if i ate myself, she's five years old by the way, she said if i ate myself would i disappear or would i get twice as big? and i went what the fuck are you talking about?
3:40 i went, what an insane, insightful, philosophical question for a five year old. and you know what i said? i said, check this out. i think you'd be exactly the same size because you have consumed one of yourself, which is a minus one and a plus one. it's equivalent exchange. you would be the same size. you certainly wouldn't get twice as big. where did the matter come from? and you obviously would not disappear.
4:06 because you ate the matter. that's true, i guess you would be smaller because you lose a little bit as heat. you lose a little bit in the entropy, yeah. but you'd be like functionally, you'd be basically the same size. metropolitan worth adding to my watch list? honestly, i would say no. i give it a three star no heart, but i thought it was pretty okay. but i would also say it depends on how you feel about like
4:31 david o. russell alexander payne type movies. if you like a dialogue driven movie as opposed to being like a plot cell, it might be worth watching anyway. when is dan back? i don't know man, but we gotta extricate my man from wherever he's gone. because i can't keep watching the always on channel. i'm getting bummed out because he's
4:55 he's playing smash right now on the always on channel and seeing how different my man daniel looked before three kids has me looking in the mirror and going, wait a minute, did that happen to me? he has such a childlike light in his eyes, like a spark in his, like behind the windows of his soul. i know i only have one kid. i'm just saying like, i mean, one's enough, man.
5:24 but then i was at a birthday party on sunday and one of the moms was like, is that your only kid? and i said, yeah. and then she was like, do you guys have plans to have more? and i said, i don't think so. hey honey, what do you think? i was talking to my daughter. i said, do you want a younger brother or younger sister? and literally every single time she said no. and this time she went, yeah, sometimes. and i went, all right, well, i guess we'll see. but no.
5:51 if anything, fuck it. new sub goal? vasectomy. ten subs, i'll get a dr. pollack style vasectomy on stream. oh shit! no, no, no! this was for satirical purposes. hey stowe, thanks for the gifted subscriptions by the way. actually, i would not... i mean, you know i keep it real. i would not mind getting a vasectomy at all, man. on camera? well...
6:20 what do i give a fuck man? they're balls like something as long as they blurred out my cock i don't really mind if you saw my balls who gives a shit the cock is like it's an extension of your yourself like literally and also spiritually but your balls are just kind of like some shit just hanging out. oh
6:41 welcome to nountown, y'all. i'm gonna learn mandarin chinese for real. my wife and i are starting to take classes. i think we literally start taking classes like this week, but i'm gonna be the best at it because this game just came out on steam where you walk around and you learn vocabulary in like whatever language you want of the 12 languages they've added to the game.
7:03 language to learn. fuck it bro mate, but you know what? after we learn mandarin, maybe we go to arabic next. maybe i'll become one of those annoying motherfuckers online who's like, i speak every language. for a while, i mean this was like 10 years ago, but every ad i got online was like, this 21 year old polyglot teaches you how to learn any language in one week or something like that. and i was like, this dude is pissing me the fuck off, man. i don't want to see this guy ever again.
7:31 okay, oh it would be so embarrassing though if i if i clicked on chinese and i accidentally became fluent in mandarin instead of became becoming fluid in cantonese or vice versa if i became fluid in cantonese by accident instead of like you know how you go to the gym and you do one set of
7:52 three reps and you accidentally become jacked when what you should have done is like a hundred sets of a thousand reps so you could become lean instead. i hate when that shit happens man. say words and sentences into your microphone requires internet.
8:15 so show how wrong word heard. we heard audio, but we did not hear the word we were expecting. why not try again? click the play icon rather than try to reproduce the sound of the word. i mean, this is fucking hard, man. i thought it was going to say like, like one syllable or something like that. this, this is impossible. so show how we go. we go again. we go again. social hall, social hall.
8:50 i could i honestly thought we might be here for like an hour man. oh shit. do it on four more items to access the learning kiosk where you can save your progress. i'm fucking awesome at this.
9:22 coffee. this is a big one. coffee. okay. i can do that. coffee. coffee. not quite the right sound. coffee. coffee. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. coffee. beer. i don't know that sound. i don't know that sound.
9:53 pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi qiu pi q
10:28 it's not that one, it's this one. oh shit, i don't remember it all.
11:11 holy shit. nyou ro. gyorou. gyorou. nyojo. nyo... nyojo. nyojo. nyojo. nyojo. put the beef next to the cds. grogu. grogu. kiosk. i don't want to do that. let's see what's in this noun box. clock. that's a big one. xizhong. xizhong. xizhong. xizhong. xizhong.
11:39 she fucking said it wrong. she fucking said it wrong. that one's not on me. she said it wrong. i'm going to have such a fucked up accent.
12:06 and people are gonna be like, where did you learn mandarin? and i'm gonna be like, moundtown on steam. i used the game speech recognition software to forge my chinese accent. i thought i did a really good job.
12:38 bò lì běi bò lì běi bò lì běi bò lì běi bò lì běi glass this is a big one. mǒu mǒu well obviously we're not going to forget that one. xi zhong xi zhong you want a clock. mǎi fèn xi zhong mǎo bao xian muo bao xian muo mǎi fèn bò lì běi mǎo xi zhong bò lì běi
13:22 i think i fucking run this down. i think i fucking run this down.
13:54 now do i remember what plastic wrap is? no, i don't. i have no idea what plastic wrap is, but i know that it's not bo li pei, mao, or chi chong. so as long as they have four things in front of me, if i don't recognize the word, then it's plastic wrap. it's that simple. i just learned bo li pei. what the fuck? it's bo li, man.
14:19 this is how i'm trying to be. this is how i'm trying to be, dude. so hit him again, play it again, sam. that's your damn right. that's the type of shit i would love to say. what if i'm not cool in english, but what if i'm cool in chinese?
14:49 like you know what i mean? what if like i don't know the tools and the way to use the tools to be cool in english, but i would be cool in chinese. what if coolness is not something that exists within your spirit but is a secondary effect of the way your spirit interacts with the primary language that you've been taught? what if coolness is actually just a fit issue between
15:15 your personality and the culture that you've been immersed in your whole life. what if people aren't cool? what if it's just a knock on effect of their relationship with where they live? oh, that's big. please be pee ja pee za pee za pee za pee za pee za pee za pee za pee za pee za pee za
15:54 autopass? okay, hang on. no man, no no no. autopass fucking off, man. absolutely not. pisa. pisa. that's fucking right. that's fucking right. damn it, right! guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. guo jiang. gao qi.
16:32 吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果吃果
17:02 come on, come on. what the fuck is tao chu?
17:47 oh, hahaha! taochi. taochi. taochi. taochi. the fuck was this? guo zhang. guo zhang. guo zhang. guo zhang. guo zhang. oh shit. takou? taku. taku. taku. taku. taku. not quite the right sound. taku.
18:20 ta ku a. ta ku a. ta ku a. ta ku a. ta ku a. i really thought that was fucking peak, man. i thought that was perfect. ta ku a. ta ku a. what the fuck is da gu, by the way? what am i pronouncing instead of taco? ta ku a. ta ku a. ta ku a.
18:53 you're going down go up. that's it.
19:39 i thought that was, i felt it. someone said close your eyes and when i closed my eyes, i thought it was perfect. i thought it was perfect. you will never understand the third tone. there's three tones to listen for, okay. there's four.
20:34 ta ku a ta ku ta ku ta ku ta ku ta ku ta ku ta ku ta ku ta ku a ta ku ta ku ta ku
21:36 okay, wait, wait. they say you gotta do it twice to prove it. that was this. it's. wait, wait, wait. okay, if i press tab on it.
22:26 dan mian zhong. realizing i've got a, in english maybe we have some softer consonant sounds at the start of words. in mandarin, maybe you really gotta put some sauce on it. kan, kan mian zhong. tao ti, tao ti. the ti is more fronted. what does fronted mean? more fronted. the ti is more fronted. the ti is more fronted.
23:02 can i explain the four tones to you? i didn't even know the four tones were a thing. what are the four tones? the four tones of this word, not the four tones like it's like a central tenant of mandarin. yeah, i'll hop into the discord. qi. hello. okay. wow. why are you learning chinese? we just thought it would be practical to be honest.
23:29 that's awesome. okay, wait, you don't know the four tones? i don't know the four tones. you see how there's like accents on these words like 口角 it's up like the... there's four tones. okay. every sound has four tones. so let's say like, 口, right? 口 is the first tone. 口. okay. 口. it's flat. it's like not flat. it's a
23:55 okay, this ma ma ma ma. those are four tones. i don't know how to explain it too well. but the first one is like a short one. almost like untoned. okay, ma. the second one will look like the up the up one like on the tall. and that's like a question almost like up you're going from down to up tall. yeah.
24:21 yeah. the third one would be like, it's like a v looking thing. it's like a check mark. okay. and that's like if it was tall, it'd be tall or ma. right. it's down and then up. it's like, ah. it's physical. like you almost you're, you're like, really? jinja? yeah. kind of like, but in one, in one, like, like
24:46 i don't know if you have an example when i could do it but and then uh the third one da da da da the last one is the the downward one and it's qi so it's like it's like from up to down but it's like it sounds like qi like i don't like it is it pitch like you're you're going down like a semi tone okay yeah it's why it's why a lot of chinese people have perfect pitch because it's it's tonal and that's why it sounds fucking weird when foreigners try to learn chinese because like
25:15 no, none taken. none taken by the way. yeah, no, no, no. like when i watch like if you watch any movies and they try to speak chinese, it's like so butchered. it sounds like, yeah, actually jake and jake is really like he's like a white person who like really has the tones down. like he's got perfect tones. yes. but it's just the tones.
25:35 yes, it's possible for sure. i'm going over, okay, the first one is flat, untoned. the second one, quizzical. more of a question. the third one is down up. and the fourth one is. right. so, okay.
26:04 so this one is up and then it's down. so, yeah, try it. try saying it on the thing. did it pass you? it passed me. it passed me with giant colors. holy cow.
26:23 okay, we can do one more and then i'll leave you. well, the one that's a nightmare, and i don't know if this is because it's originally like a spanish word, but taco is a disaster. i can't read chinese. i can only read the pinging, which is like the english, you know, like i'm abc. let me see if i can get it. yeah, i need to see the...
26:46 i do like i can't something cut pakka probably ha ha cut wait ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
27:16 ta ku. ta ku. ta ku. okay, i don't know this rule. ta ku. that's what they're saying. i don't know why, if it's a 3 3, it's a 2 then 3. i don't know that. but, um... ta... so, let's do the second tone. ta. ta. ku. ku. yeah. ta ku. ta ku. that's what chat's saying, so i'm assuming... did it work? ta ku.
27:49 so, it has to be down then up. yeah, like okay, it's so white but this is like tim allen in home improvement. it's like, i don't know if you know the reference but it is kind of like.
28:17 so you're like the k you're going you're going ta ku but it's ta ku like it has to go down and then up. do you hear the difference or no? i do very very very slightly. ta ku okay, ta ku
28:38 so you're going ta, which is just higher, but we have to go from down to up. right? i mean, a lot of people do this. i also can't sing. so it's part of the problem. so ta, like we're going up. ta. yeah. ta. and then we're going down and up. so we're going so slow, but you know, like no one speaks like this, but pitch is like the most important thing.
29:06 okay, i think i can do it. i just need to, i need to lock in. it's okay, here we go. here we go. did it pass you? it didn't. let me do one more here. let me take one more crack at it. i really thought i think i need to hit the t a little bit more pronounced. i feel like it's right. that was two in the third. yeah, try to go a little faster.
29:43 taka. honestly, they don't pass you, they're racist. yes. yeah. i take my pass on that one anyway. i had to put that back on the ground. i mean, i'll just order rice to be honest with you if i'm ever over there. i can just say if i can't pronounce one word, i'll just never use it. that sounds fine to me.
30:07 yeah, but just i don't know. are there any other rules? like i said, i didn't learn this way, but just like the four tones, the most important. and what you think of your mouth is rounded on the vowel. like the tough like tough. i don't know. i'm waiting. wait a second. like in the word tough. okay.
30:38 well, like if we said it quickly, i mean, i don't know why it's like i feel like it wouldn't pass me. that was not right. i could tell that's not right. pass me. i mean, i think it is right though. but like, i don't really. but just try to like focus on the tones. the tones. i'll do my best. all right.
31:13 thank you, hafu. yes, goodbye. good to talk to you again. you too. okay, well, okay. now with the pinyin, i might have a chance. this is guo jiang. holy shit. holy shit. wait a second. wait, wait. saved? ping zhi. that's flat. ping zhi.
31:52 pinsa pins it pins it damn it, right? pins school pickups never gonna be the same kate pins it. she are being she are being cr sin bill sin bill sin bill sean bean sean bean sean bean jian being jian being
32:32 xiong bing. i was showing off a little, it felt fucking good to be honest with you. no, bad seed, bad seed chat, bad seed. taku. taku. taku. taku. taku. taku. taku. put that shit down. i don't want to see that shit again for a minute.
33:18 qiyang bing. yeah, man. yeah. yeah. yeah. kate, we ever go to china, we're going to be eating a lot of pie. we're going to be eating a shitload of pie. learn to make negative sentences by putting this before the verb. i haven't even learned any verbs, man. i don't know. well, let's fucking see. i guess. but i haven't.
33:51 i know that one. they're saying i'm kyle not. holy fuck.
34:30 i gotta relax myself a little bit here. she is like, sure, s h e r, sure, sure. i do not sound like i'm saying you are naked gay. i don't believe that that's what i'm saying. i don't believe that that, even if i think i'm saying i am rocky. i think i'm saying i am rocky. i don't believe i am saying i am naked gay.
35:02 why this fucker have to be named rocky, man? that's hard as fuck. wosholochi. wosholochi. wosholochi. perfect. test. hi. are you kyle? i'm not kyle. wosholochi. i'm rocky, bro. less than complete.
35:41 he's young he's yo doing great man doing great so high it's not easy it's not easy ha fu literally said it was impossible for white devils like me to learn how to speak mandarin so the fact that we've learned a few words, that's pretty good. am i? how offensive is the term white devil by the way? i'm asking by the way you don't answer that if you're white if you're chinese how offensive is the term white devil you can say it? no
36:15 nyojo. nyojo. nyojo. nyojo. nyojo. nyojo. it's r? am i freaking out? they keep saying j. nyojo. that's j. nyojo. that's j, man. nyojo. nyojo. ro like fish eggs? i mean, i'm not... it's not... really? do you think so? nyo ro.
36:51 really? anyone in chat watching on billy billy right now, which one's closer? that's better. that sounds, it sounds nothing like what they're asking for. it sounds nothing like what they're asking for though. it's closer but it needs, i didn't even know you could be between an r and a j to be honest. this is all news to me. yin xiang. yin xiang. yin xiang. yin xiang. yin xiang. because this is like the same as sean. yeah. yin xiang.
37:22 vince young. we got vince young, we got sean bean. okay, yeah. yinshiong. yinshiong. yinshiong. yinshiong. yinshiong. yinshiong. because vince young loved to listen to the stereo at the cheesecake factory. yinshiong.
37:49 amazing one hour in and he has perfect tonal pronunciation. ricky, this game has made me feel like the ricky peacock of twitch for sure. you ready for this? zai dan. zai dan. zai dan. zai dan. zai dan. rou chuan. rou chuan. rou chuan. rou chuan.
38:23 rogue one, rogue one cuz the critics tried to skewer it. they didn't but if it helps us remember the box that has a box in it. okay, should i be going hey or should i be going cool? cuz this sounds like a cue to me. i'm not trolling. this is a cue. this sounds like.
38:51 kuu o tsu. kuu o tsu. a harsh h. kuu o tsu. kuu o tsu. kuu o tsu. kuu o tsu. no, man, i'm not sure about this one.
39:11 is korean not tonal? now korean takes a very bold approach of the letters always sound the same, which is crazy. and also like why isn't every language design like that where like the character always has like exactly the same pronunciation every single time? it really, really doesn't. there's some edge cases, but like 99% of the time you look at a word and you go, oh, computer.
39:35 like i don't know who king schiller or no way this was sejong. sejong was fucking on one when he invented hong gul man. the dude was fucking operating at a level, he was vibrating at a higher frequency let's put it that way. also can i say
39:50 w to the developers starting with the master volume on 50 and then like all the things about like literally this is how streamers want their audio balanced. i don't know if every developer should be making their game for streamers in mind, but this is literally perfect. i think it's the first time i've ever seen this that's incredible. meat. meat. plant. beer.
40:20 you'll try me coffee quite a white so long pan coffee in young codes for quite a show try one pan side on side on her in young key to all codes words
40:52 coffee? that was really fucking good. that was really, really fucking good. and i didn't realize how much box and chopsticks sound similar. box and chopsticks sound exactly the same, bro. they don't at all? let's put them next to each other and fucking find out, okay? everybody relax. there's a white boy with one hour of language lessons here to solve a long term problem. ready?
41:21 okay, they're different. you're right. i could've told you that.
41:57 they're not even giving me a fucking chance, man. they didn't even give me a fucking chance, man. they're failing me instantly. no way, no way, man.
42:30 i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. wait, i'm actually kind of crazy? maybe i do just need to say it fast. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you.
43:07 you're right, the game's easy when you're already fluent like me. the head wiggle is crazy. i don't know what to tell you, it makes me more fluent, man. it makes me more fluent.
43:21 you know, the way that i want to learn this language now, i wish there was just a room, they fucking locked you in manacles and strapped you into a table and then someone in a lab coat, maybe with like a fucking tight ponytail and some glasses, came in and just put an object in front of you. and didn't even fucking say anything, just like i had a clipboard and a pencil. and i go, 你是,没有,我們,
43:54 just over and over, i want that for hours and hours and hours. handbag, that's actually fucking huge.
44:15 wait, that felt so fucking good. i know i got it wrong according to the game, but i feel like i just became 0.1% more chinese when i did that. like i feel like i felt the pieces snapped into place in my head. shou ti bao, shou ti bao. fuck that. we fucking run this joint. we fucking run this joint, man.
44:47 i was about to say it's over for them, but i don't know what the implication on that would be. but it's a fucking funny thing to have almost said for sure. shizhong. them being the words, right? yeah, them being the words.
45:13 no, the game is not just mandarin by the way. i'm imagining that probably like 98% of people that buy it on steam are buying it to learn a little bit of japanese but i'm not like other white boys. i bought it to learn mandarin chinese. we do things a little differently here. bing chilling. that would have been a fucking great clip. that would have been an amazing clip. thank you john cena. bing chilling.
45:48 bing ji ling bing ji ling bing ji ling i mean that's an easy bing ji ling bing ji ling bing ji ling someone said imagine the words riding on a roller coaster. i think it's helping me out a lot. zheng shou yin ji shou yin ji can i ask you something chat? if it's tsi, why is it a ji? if it's tsi, why is it a ji? it's not? well, it is an opinion.
46:27 it's not c, it's g, but it's closer to ts than the j. why didn't they use a ts? don't pull that esl learning shit on me. you're gonna say, it's just something you have to fucking remember. that's my fucking line. that's my line when somebody who speaks chinese asked me why english breaks all the rules. i go, it's just something you have to remember. you don't do that shit to me, i do that shit to you, okay? sun jin ju.
46:55 we need dan to play this man. i think dan speaking really good mandarin chinese just makes so much sense to me. there's just something about it that like i could almost picture him like like just talking as fast as he normally talks but mandarin chinese spilling out of his mouth. i could totally i could see him being one of the most famous 1000 americans in china for sure.
47:25 you've reached the daily limit of words that should be learned in one day. nah, man. nah, we're a little past that. we're a little past that, to be honest with you. can i they they're doing they're cutting me off! which i understand, but it's pissing me the fuck off, man. i might be a natural polyglot. just let me learn how to speak the language in one day. where do you live? yennefer. rocky, where do you live? i recognize that shit as rocky. lo o ji?
47:58 i live in the mountains.
48:29 he lives near a lamp? i heard zhōng. next.
49:12 it's easy, it's easy. that's how you third tone. okay, that was pretty good. holy shit. holy shit. they love me. they love me. to me it sounds like.
49:44 i thought that one was pretty bad to be honest.
50:13 that's so hard, holy shit man. that's so hard, holy shit man.
50:49 okay, you fucking got something there. literally learning a language is like a fighting game. you're right. you just have to learn the basics and then you go in the lab and you start chaining the basics together. oh, fucking come halfway there. come halfway there. what the, how did you just get bijou? out of that whole thing, how did you just get bijou?
51:25 i felt it felt fucking good. it felt fucking awesome. it felt fucking incredible. they need to have a mode for smart people where you learn a thousand words a day and in ten days you master the language.
52:07 okay, okay. wait a second. we're actually building a little bit here. kate, i know you're streaming right now. we immediately need to invite some chinese parents to go out for yakimiku. just so i can, like i'll order in english. but then when it comes, i'm gonna go, ro, juan. fung me. me. austin, is that you? fung me. fung me. twin twins, basil? fung me.
52:46 fung me. fung me. fung me. fung me. when is this over? why do you already speak mandarin? you don't have any mandarin? you don't have to brush up on your mandarin? cow goes quack 69? you don't have to brush up on your mandarin? yes? well then fucking help me! help me! i do want type a chatters for this, it's true. do a quick one in english. glass. glass. flour.
53:26 stove salt salt here at this game. this game is easy man pastry okay, i think we can safely say that actually the voice recognition algorithm is pretty good i would say probably don't get this to learn a language. you already know it doesn't they just showed ain't no point to the damn game they just show you a picture of something you say what it is and you don't run out of the the dictionary potion
54:04 here's a cool game for people who like to read books or write sentences. wait, i'm looking awesome in german, man. i should be learning german.
54:42 it's the easiest language. it's actually literally we just proved it says it's as easy as it is. here we go. this is what it's all about right here. oven oven that makes perfect sense chocolate chocolate. this is why korean is so fucking good man.
55:27 boom. please arabic, i'm scared though. why? because i've never spoken arabic before. it's literally easy. halah. halah. rez. rez. now this, this i should be fucking good at man. this i should be fucking good at. la patisserie. la patisserie. la patisserie. la patisserie. le taco. le taco. le taco.
56:16 le croissant? le croissant. le croissant. le croissant. i should fucking learn french, man. i should fucking learn french. this is awesome! les hot dogs? le hot dog? talk to me, yennefer. merci. je ne sais pas ce que nous orions fais sont vos très d'eau. sorry, i don't know how to help you. i don't know how wait. thank you. how can we help you? thanks, i don't know what we'd have done without your help here.
56:44 the first thing on the list, i already have the chance to show my love. you don't need a reason to party. worst part about living on an island, i never get to show off my coats. i already have the chance to show my love. i thought i was i don't need a reason to party. two years. two years. two years. two years. i already have a baby. okay. other things? i'm going to... ryan.
57:31 i am a french person. i am... my name is kachov and... wait! wait! i... i... i... my name is kachov and... wait! when is your anniversary? when is your anniversary? pardon? when is your anniversary? when is your anniversary? my anniversary is the 5th of july.
58:13 i don't necessarily wanna, it's out there, but other shows. you don't need to know, you don't need to know any more than that.
58:50 el né pa bezou en savoir. thank you. i was telling my chat it is kind of crazy in 2026 to release a board game that doesn't have multiplayer on steam. oh yeah, this game is so crazy that it's super popular and yet like i'm pretty sure it made like a lot of money because it's pretty old as well but like i don't know if you've seen the in game graphic. the in game graphic is little
59:20 questionable? i see what they're going for with the art style. it is funny that it's got a dude's name on it. like, this is my game. you gotta let him know. it's my game. put my name on it. okay, richard. i think if i made a game, i'd do the same thing though. not gonna lie. is ryan pissing?
59:42 he's dead. oh my god, i've been having a conversation with you this whole time i literally dropped a meow at the start of the conversation and no one said anything and i went they hate me they hate me i think everyone is bald in this okay sorry the uh controller the controller took it took control of the uh
1:00:11 yeah, sometimes you plug in your controller and windows goes, that's now your microphone and your speakers and your keyboard. yeah, like hacks the main frame. and your monitor. it's all of it. yeah. you guys ever use like steam link on your phone and then you hit something wrong and you can see your pc's desktop on your phone screen and you're like, oh, it feels like you got violated a little bit. i've never seen that now. i'm like, what the fuck is my discord doing on my phone?
1:00:37 all right, i'm locking in. i hit a and i got removed from the game. because i'm on a nintendo controller where a is b. you fool, you fool. i think it's gonna give us a tutorial. yeah, it has tutorial on the bottom left, which i think is probably good. i hope that. ooh. damn, this looks good. i know why my audio is gone.
1:01:10 false say it, it looks like the gigantic gorilla does not take kindly to other monsters trying to take his place. will he be able to control his rage and honor the name he's been given? he's got a scar and a false eye. why is everyone's eyes getting smacked man? to win be the first of 20 stars or the last survivor.
1:01:30 at least you roll a six die. oh, it's like your actions. it's a crazy aesthetic man. if you're not satisfied with the result of your dice roll, you can roll the dice of your choice up to two more times. okay, that's the yahtzee part. all right, yeah. select then to confirm the dice that we should keep. okay, okay. zero stars because you need at least one triple to obtain points.
1:01:54 what is the muscle that's underneath the six pack? it's like the ball pack. it does look like one of those ancient crab beings on his stomach. i do work my core a lot. there's no monster already in tokyo. you automatically take control. you gain one star each time you enter tokyo.
1:02:19 with the super smart cat at the control, cyber cutie seems determined to drive intruders out of her territory but one question still remains. why is the feline in the cockpit dressed as a pirate? okay i did not know that but now i know. we can't even see him. there's a cork tungus here. it's very small.
1:02:37 that's tough. the die enables you make monsters in a different location from your lose one hp. you are outside of tokyo, so you're minus one heart to the monster in tokyo. what that said at all now, are we all not in tokyo? that was word salad. who isn't in tokyo? enables you to make monsters in a different location from yours. lose one heart.
1:03:04 you are outside tokyo minus one heart to the monster in tokyo? i think they're saying english game was you seen victims in tokyo. so i think if you hit, if you keep the dye, you hit him for one, i think take my fury. nyan scratch. that's a huge effective damage right there. my ass right for being on yokohama.
1:03:35 so if you die, are you out? you losing him? yeah, i think you just have to stay in the comps. i'm glad i only have 4 hp left. the game has like the art direction of us kitchen nightmares, restaurant remodel. it really does. it's not looking good. it's not looking good. i think it's cool, man. i think i have to fly, please. i think we gotta get the hell out of tokyo. oh,
1:04:08 i'm in i'm in a dragon mika dragon certain power cards are offered automatically to certain conditions monster the monster concern you can choose to use the concerned monster i want to keep my energies that i say no apparently i am
1:04:35 dude, i don't wanna go back. i don't wanna go back to tokyo. you better pull some heart. you gotta have some heart if you win. you motherfucker. or you could kill people. you know, i see it. oh my god! get it! get it giga.
1:05:14 yeah, obviously out of tokyo
1:05:33 bro she said she was good at yahtzee why didn't we listen? we made fun of her! you're not gonna like me when yahtzee rolls around man. you're not gonna like me when i'm yahtzee. you see my true power. this is what you get for going to those survivors. his teeth are now fuji bro. oh god goodbye. hooking up. yikes. oh my god. oh no!
1:06:07 the invader who is spraying terror across the city has been stopped by the king. the text along the rest of the text was so funny. there's less than five monsters left. tokyo bay is not accessible anymore. wait, it saved you! what the heck? oh, i know your card. you can live with the card! oh my god. you lived! you died! no, nevermind. you died! you died! you died! you died! you died! you died!
1:06:35 the draconic robot did not evade its enemy, the king. it doesn't seem to be functioning anymore. oh my god. dude, the text is so funny, man. it said it would seem he was not adequately prepared. bro.
1:06:54 sixth grade english teacher after reading the report. this is an english game. i don't know why the english is bad. i understand. no, no, they're just making it authentic to a japanese monster movie. redub like one person died. tokyo base said like we're closed like when the restaurant has an upstairs, but they're like, oh, we don't have any tables right now.
1:07:20 imagine just roll five threes? oh my gosh, why are they so expensive? yeah, i know. i don't... i guess you gotta take some turns just saving up energy. imagine? watch this. bang. that's no threes. zero! that's none threes.
1:07:38 i guess you probably have to heal then yeah, he's probably heal. yeah. yeah, i'm not even gonna bother hitting you actually i'm just gonna try to go for the i rolled the wrong die this one's right, right? okay. no, it's fine. watch this. okay yeah
1:08:07 wow. huge. i think you gotta stay, though. and then try to kill apollo on your turn? yeah, stage. well, i mean, he could... i would have... he could like a deep up sound. like a gamecube rpg deep up sound. we're powering up. it's you, apollo. oh my god, i can't take this. i get stars. just don't roll any... oh my god, he didn't roll any.
1:08:42 i think you gotta reroll all. you're laughing. reroll all, because the cards are way too expensive anyway. yeah, i know. but you have a card that heals you if you have energy. i do. maybe if i didn't reverse my, uh, well, we would've had a better shot. i hear you on that one. what's happening to my body? do not look at the animations, man. don't make your spinning is crazy! oh shit, witnesses heard it on the computer. a few words before collapsing.
1:09:12 why are they all so ridiculous? what is that even mean? the world building is crazy. more of you gotta die so we can read the lines dude. all of your smash all other monsters. that shit goes crazy.
1:09:45 why did i even read the thing? well, she wants to create more collateral damage than necessary in the ill fated districts of the city. she will. i didn't know that was a she. did they say that last time? no, i don't. is it snoop? they may have, i don't know. godzilla is canonically female according to the matthew broderick movie. oh. wait, really? you know what, i'm not even going to get into that one.
1:10:14 but the godzilla kidnapped the sexy lady though. that's king kong commonly confused with god. that's right. i'd be tweaking of godzilla climb the empire state building. that's some natural behavior there. you miss hon show coo. oh god. why are you laughing?
1:10:46 about it. what is jay jay z in tokyo, but you gotta, you gotta be a nowhere to know it. god's godzilla, godzilla, godzilla, godzilla, godzilla, godzilla. what do all these things have in common? it's it's verse from monster, but all the monsters are godzilla. godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla godzilla
1:11:12 god silly, god silly, god silly question. what are these things so having come god silly. you're all right. and the base johnson is almost enough for me to forget that you got banned from apollo's chat for calling him last salt wolf or whatever. eight years ago, i miss him a long time ago. yeah. make him go to tokyo. yeah.
1:11:47 i gotta make a good. remember that? a good mythical morning whenever they say that is a good mythical morning. yeah. how do you know that? we used to watch it for like six months maybe. what's the name of that? i don't know about the naruto 40. you lost me the ghost who lives in the good mythical morning studio. oh, yeah. that's no deep lore. apollo has been a player. yeah. i'd be me first. it's looking like it might be you first which is funny because
1:12:20 i gotta heal man. there he goes. we'll be seeing you. oh no, ryan's dead? you're all right. there i go. you put up a great fight. you and your four stars. good night y'all.
1:12:46 all i have to show for my efforts this whole game is the card that gives me points when other people die. i was leaving head hung low in their ship, which was waiting on us. so then i got my ass kicked and then walked out of tokyo. you just kicked me out! got in your parked chevy spaceship.
1:13:17 close the door, the music turned on. that's really good. oh my god, i'm alive. he died on his way back to his home planet.
1:13:43 something about the presentation of this game that is taking me out, man. i should have healed, i think. i should have healed, i'm scared. like the monsters are... like the art for the monsters on the right.
1:14:06 i guess it's from the board game, but it's like, it's got a certain sense of style to it. but like the fake comic book, like crayon drawn monsters in the game is so crazy. it's the dialogue that's getting me, man. every blurb has an extra sentence that has no reason to be there. what the hell? damn. guess who's going to tokyo?
1:14:36 no! yes, man. i swear out of the heck, yes. to tokyo with you. yay! board games gotta be the only time you hear white people say they don't want to go to tokyo. am i right, guys? thank you. oh, true. what if i roll no three? hey, do you remember when i printed out those my singing monsters characters? oh, yeah. and colored them in and cut them out? yeah.
1:15:08 the game's looking... is that what this looks like? the models for the characters in the game are looking an awful lot like, wait you fucking did it. why did you do this? clearly you will... i didn't evade the enemy, me. dude, he wasn't adequately prepared. i couldn't evade myself. why, why did you kill yourself? you've got no one to hit. you have no one to hit now. man. oh shit.
1:15:37 oh shit what the hell we got a freaking what is that? well they like censored him with the bubbles. that's view three bro. whoa oh i don't like his face. oh he's got like a steam down the middle. wait how can you secretly look at it if we're all playing the same game? you'll never know. is it gonna be like everyone close their eyes? i think i won't be purchasing this round. please please buy it.
1:16:09 oh, man. it's terrible. politely ask everyone to close their eyes. no screen peeking, dude. chad's right. what does it mean that you secretly reveal the card? okay. you know what? i'm gonna do it. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. it might kill me, but i'm gonna do it. okay. close your eyes. okay. okay. okay. i'm not looking. close your eyes. it happens at the start of your turn anyway. yeah. at the start of the turn. oh, okay. okay. okay.
1:16:39 so are you secretly seeing something in the buying phase? nothing happened. i'm not seeing anything. although, wait what? i'm not seeing anything. what the hell? i don't know how the card worked. oh damn. i don't get to see anything? go for 2 2s. go for 2 2s, obviously. try to go for the 4 2s. 5 1s. learn from my mistakes. 5 1s. 5 1s. oh my god, you are! it's joe, or...
1:17:09 it's over. just rolling it for fun. oh my god. let's go. double triple. let's go. bro thinks he's wimby. some victim won. 100 points, 100 rebounds.
1:17:25 that was a really close one. the megalop is once again under the control of gigador. honestly, we don't know why the other monsters even tried to dethrone her. we should be talking about the queen of tokyo. i'm the king of tokyo though! it says right there. i'm actually the queen now. i guess so. damn, my controller turned cold.
1:17:50 how long were you dead for? like 26 minutes or something. a little love tap. it's what you get for being in tokyo. i had no choice. stay out of tokyo, dude. anyone else think the freeze ray sound sounds exactly like the start of synchronicity 2 by the police? boop, boopee boop boop boop boop. you know what i'm talking about?
1:18:24 no, this guy makes references that only you brain flooded gear synchronicity to synchronous to uh, yeah the second one. oh it does sound like it wait a minute
1:18:52 that is literally the first time in history anyone in the discord call has ever looked up a reference. everyone else just goes no. everyone else goes yeah okay ryan. well you know i wanted to hear it because it's such a specific sound.
1:19:07 you know, it's not gonna lie. it's because i didn't know there was a synchronicity too. and i wanted to see if that was even real because i was like, no way they made two of them. damn, they made a sequel to my favorite song? you guys see the helicopter crash into a mecha dragon there? yeah, it keeps crashing into it.
1:19:30 you definitely should do that. you don't have to do that. what if you actually roll five though? is low key pissing me off that the dice keep getting bottlenecked at that narrow point? it's like pissing me off that you had one job. why do all the dice keep bunching up at the choke point and not rolling? why did the dev even make the choke point? i don't understand. it makes no sense.
1:20:00 honestly, i like the idea of the king of tokyo's attacking so that they have no option but to heal and we're forcing them to do nothing but heal. what dude? she just spun on it. it was like a 900 man. i love this board game. didn't know they made a video game version. i don't know if they know they made a video game version either. yeah.
1:20:23 like did they do it or did they just hand it to somebody and be like, i'll go crazy. can friends play remote off of one copy? not only can they play remote off of one copy, they could play remote off of five copies. that's true.
1:20:42 those dice were not done, man. the dice were not done rolling. i know, it's madening. it's absolutely maddening. did we all buy the game? yeah, i bought the game. yeah. you guys get refunded. yeah. they punched up pretty good there.
1:21:11 you gotta heal though. we're going to kill you. hear me out. hear me out. i know you're going to play, man. you will design the game like you don't have to. it's not like it's you have to have them roll the dice in this weird shape. like it's just.
1:21:31 do it in this big crater or something instead. we're staying, we're staying. we're kings of tokyo. oh, shit. oh, giga's in trouble. i've been killed too many times in this game to not kill someone else. i'm gonna hex your dice right now. no way. giga's doing voodoo stuff now? yeah. i'm lighting candles, man. i'm at 2 health.
1:21:57 sing us a seance. oh, sorry. i was i was i was just john john wiccan. imagine that. john wiccan. john wiccan. it's just him with a bigger head. wiccan wild wild john. john wiccan. yay! oh, what the fuck? i don't know. what did i roll? what was that? what? that was definitely a claw. that's not that wasn't it. that wasn't it. that is ridiculous. the dice are literally on top of each other. oh, smash them. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up. gx went up
1:22:27 giga's curse
1:22:56 i live again. i live again. you ever think about the fact that there's probably like a lot of people watching this that are on one hp. they just don't know it. and it's about to pass through the order or something. brother, if you didn't have a health bar, you would have to guess. you'd probably be like, i'm blinking. sorry. i was like that.
1:23:25 it's like that movie where they got the timestamp counting down, they could see when they die. you would probably be like, i'm one tapped, but you wouldn't know you're on fucking one. you're walking around like new york city, you see a random guy crossing the road, he's blinking red and you're like, what's happening with him? going, can't believe he's out and about with that kind of situation, man. what the hell? the syndicate is cracked, bro. he walks by you hear, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. dude, my health is trembling.
1:23:54 if you held down left alt, there'd be a fucking glowing outline around his ass. oh my god, simpix doesn't actually gotta win. i got the lowest number. it wasn't done rolling yet.
1:24:10 oh go for the yahtzee go for the yahtzee. okay no smacks no smacks. oh that was on a three. i saw three. that should have been a three. no no no no. am i going crazy or did it pull the face that was on the side? yeah. you're not gonna kill her? i'm not going in tokyo.
1:24:31 there's no reason. dude, i'm just i'm just a penguin. you know you're going to tokyo i'm afraid. no. the roles are worse when they get stuck too. there's just something this is so what are you talking about man? that's insane. you guys gotta kill him. you gotta kill him. the people in tokyo right now have all the responsibility of getting i'm gonna try to kill people for three turns.
1:25:00 this is a big roll. that's a bad start. it wasn't done. it was done. you need to... oh, oh, please. prang, prang. yes! i don't even know what's going on there. what was that? okay, okay. don't say anything. i'm staying so silent right now. i think not saying anything is saying something.
1:25:38 that's not enough. show me two twos. show me two twos. oh, he's gonna not play the double odds. let's go for one three. let's go. let's go. the reigning queen. the reigning queen. the secret sauce is that you could have attacked once and gone to tokyo potentially. that's true. if one of us messed up too. but why do that when i could just win?
1:26:09 i think if you draw two, you could have just taken it for sure.
1:26:24 this adaptation is not worth the asking price. the graphics are ugly, the animations look cheap, the annoying text intros and outros were obviously added because they couldn't come up with a more engaging way to present the game. worst of all is the way the cards are handled. they're the most important elements in the game. it's imperative you keep track of them at all times, but you have to drill down with a bunch of clicks to get to the text. overall very amateurish and low effort.
1:26:48 rediscover king of tokyo in a dynamic recreation of the critically acclaimed board game. immerse yourself in the ukiyo e inspired art style, japanese woodblock prints and painting style. nah, man, i, uh... i'm not... i don't think i can let you get away with that one. you might be able to get that on some other people. you're not putting the wool over my eyes.
1:27:19 oh my god, they also made a fort boyard game that i have not played yet. this is the fort boyard game that i have not played yet. yes. return to fort boyard and take on the new challenges of sir forus. hands down the best version of the game. so the fourth version of this fort boyard game has been released. damn. crazy. anyway,
1:27:46 fort boyard fridays, maybe. we'll see, man. we'll see. obviously i gotta work on my mandarin tomorrow. good stream today. thanks for watching. i will be back tomorrow, as you might expect. good night. i love it when he becomes mario. his name's mario and he bounces on the shells.
1:28:10 some of these levels are hotter than the hotter than the hells and when he spins he can survive a spiny shell mario, rio, please do better, please do well. don't start the singing then you can't stop. so true. when you were young you were the king of austin powers
1:28:43 and how you kidnapped nigel powers as his foe to get the man of mystery to show this is the room one afternoon where fat bastard ate you and how felicity shagwell shagged him real well to place a homing device where no one dared to dwell