the only jamaican oscar winner - Bits and Banter [05⧸25⧸2026]

Name: the only jamaican oscar winner - Bits and Banter [05⧸25⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-28
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "the only jamaican oscar winner - Bits and Banter [05⧸25⧸2026]" — 179 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-28

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179 lines transcribed from this video. Click any timestamp to jump to that moment.

0:00 nah man, nah it's not a holiday here. we had our holiday last week, remember? you were in chat till 945 saying, where is he? where is he? you were wearing a short sleeve button up white shirt tucked into chinos sitting in your office going, where is he? he's late. he's late. where is he? frank grimes asks sartorial sense.
0:22 hey, enel, have you seen the autobattler? wait, let's see this for a second. have you seen the autobattler from the dota esports guys? founded mid, but maybe you might like it. new worst recommendation of all time just dropped? actually, you know what? that's a rare, honest recommendation. because the average person that recommends something is recommending just the last thing they saw, whether they gave it a 2.5 or a 5.
0:48 they'd be like, oh great review, you should watch the last movie i watched. then i checked their fucking profile, they gave it a three and a half. why the fuck are you going around proselytizing for how to get ahead in advertising, man? i mean it's bookended by a pretty funny richard e. grant performance, but it gets into jim carrey level farce in the middle.
1:07 you play a lot of crap. i would never play so it's a fair thought. i just play what comes out so i mean don't blame me. that's listen, don't blame me. anyone here work at letterboxd? anybody here live in new zealand and work at letterboxd? what the fuck happened to the app this weekend? no disrespect. i felt like the internet in general was clogged like there must have been like an accident somewhere on the internet that made the traffic slow down like everywhere.
1:32 but in particular, letterboxd, man, letterboxd app is not doing its best right now. how am i supposed to leave my four and a half star review of mr. vampire, the hong kong vampire film from 1985 that i said, its peak, they were really beating the shit out of those corpses. i use the web version as kind of ass.
1:57 magresta, the web version of letterbox, i also used it to make my review this morning. it's a testament to the fact that like what happened to all the devs?
2:07 and if you work at letterboxd, just prove me wrong. you don't have to be offended, just prove me wrong. what happened to the good devs? why, when i'm typing in letterboxd, is there lag and input delay between when i hit the key and when it shows up in the browser? they had that shit under control in like 1986. in 1986, there was zero latency between touching the key and it showing up in your browser.
2:36 now it's like, oh, it's a responsive web app. and when you click on it, it opens up a frame that's reactive and resizes to the whatever your monitor is. and also when you type, it has to go through 17 different verifications in order to make sure you can actually put a g. when you're typing god, this is good. god, this is good. cause you just watched a picnic at hanging rock, which i gave a four, but it is, it's a very, it's a thought provoking movie for sure. a thought provoking movie. now i'll admit part of this is being like a,
3:05 37 years old, but i kind of don't respect it when a website runs worse on my
3:12 computer, which i understand is not really 100% apples to apples, but when it runs worse on the computer than it does on the phone. websites should be faster than apps. i have like a nuclear reactor next to me. it shouldn't be that hard to type in like dead ringers 1988. the latency between typing in dead ringers 1988 and me logging a five star in a heart should be less than two seconds.
3:38 but luckily, they actually did a little monkey's paw because the app doesn't work at all and the website sucks. so the website works a lot better than the app right now. and i was cutting them some slack because i thought maybe some shit went down. i was like, it's saturday, which means it's sunday in new zealand. it's still the weekend. so that's all right.
3:58 monday morning, new zealand, they're going to lock in and fix this. the sockets are going to connect. the api is going to be good to go. lo and behold, it's like monday night, and it might even be tuesday morning in new zealand, man, and it still doesn't work. here for the mandarin lesson, anecdotes? not much in the way of anecdotes, except i still don't know the difference between any of the tones. tone 4 especially, i just need to go louder. wobushu meiguoren. wobushu meiguoren. how's that? yeah.
4:29 thanks for the 10 bucks on saturday. thank you for asking for $10 when i had $10 on me. thank you for that. enjoy the non dose. there were two of them. so that's five times two. you don't need to be fluent in mandarin to know five times two. you know anything else? yeah.
4:57 lao chì nǐ hao, dòu shòng hao, dòu shòng hao.
5:02 why are you taking mandarin by the way? it seems like aura. i am bobbing my head like a motherfucker right now, 100%. it's also kind of pissing me off because sometimes kate will be like, hey, we're learning a little mandarin. and then the person we're talking to who we expect to know zero mandarin at all just starts speaking a little mandarin. and i go, what the fuck? you're not supposed to know this shit. i'm supposed to be the only white guy who knows even a little mandarin.
5:32 stupid ass that's like oh, yeah, we've been taking a couple mandarin classes and they just bust out like the you know well, i mean, i don't know enough mandarin to bust out something that's better than what i know it a bit kind of like is it doesn't make sense. it's oxymoronic i suppose but mandarin's a lot more common than you think i know where i live man. i know where i live chill out. jao pong food you ain't ready for this young pup. oh, i'm gonna be said td
6:00 i can't do dd because it's two tone fours in a row. i just have to keep going. i just have to keep shouting. dd! slay the spire 2 let's player bob dylan getting booed off the stage of the newport folk festival for building a shift deck. wait, i could see that. he didn't build poison. the comments on slay the spire videos are like the newport folk festival if you're doing an ironclad run and you don't take whirlwind. they start throwing shit at you.
6:24 pete seeger starts crashing out, he's trying to break your computer with a fucking fireman's axe and shit. they will fucking kill you if you don't take whirlwind, even if it's... maybe especially if it's the right play. especially if it's the right play, man. see, now that you're typing in pinyin, i know what you're saying a little bit. i saw you type wo jiao jones. your name's jones.
6:45 my teacher told me i have to pick a fucking chinese name for next week, man. is that even something like can i do that? she told me find the chinese name that starts with the first letter of your english name. chinese boy names that start with r. of course there's ro, could be beef, could call myself beef. ren, it could be person, that's a good one. oui, fen, auspicious fragrance.
7:13 roy, finn? that could be good. my name is auspiciousfragrance. would love some suggestions for a character in my book. thank you in advance. come on, man. if you're writing a real book, you can't be going to reddit.com slash r slash name nerds. you got to talk to somebody irl, man.
7:38 wait, wait, okay. van morrison, ai chinese. wait, this is the ultimate test. no, i definitely do not want van morrison, moondance, ai interpretation. i think this is what i want from r slash crappy music. crappy music? all right, i'm not fluent yet. i'm not fluent yet because i don't know what he's saying.
8:08 i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you. i'm not a fan of you.
8:33 let's go? he said let's go maybe in there? dude, i'm tweaking that this was posted on r slash utterly bizarre. what do you mean? i would've, oh, i watched a fucking, the average like 14 year old online making a post. i can't show you what it is. it's it, i genuinely believe that the cia developed a cognitohazard and surreptitiously posted it on 4chan. it would be irresponsible if i also linked it to you.
9:02 i saw such a horrifying video it made my skin crawl. isn't it a fucking video? and the video is the peakest shit you've ever seen! and the video is fucking awesome! yeah, yeah, he's feeling it.
9:38 they don't make guys with van morrison's hair anymore. i think like if you have van morrison's hair from like 1990 onwards, you just shave your head. we're running out of guys who had like michael mckean's hair. you know what i'm saying when i say that? i don't mean it as a disrespectful term. he's dabbing on a man. well, your father has finally revealed his secret. the time has come. i'm sorry i had to hide this from you all this time. although i am your master, i am first and foremost your father's loyal servant.
10:10 i've trained you for this moment your whole life and now you have to prove you're ready. here's your silly combat slot machine, probably eavesdropping in the bushes as usual. greetings master moses, i have hypersensitive soundboard, no need to eavesdrop. oh man, even the damn slot machine's got mesophonia these days. okay weirdo, enough talk. prove you're a worthy fighter on this training dummy. finally, a worthy opponent. don't you try to pick something from your inventory and put it in the slot.
10:39 i see what you're saying. let's put a bun sword in the slot and a bun sword in the slot. do i really want to do i want to spin with uh i guess you don't even need to get three in a row just like whatever you get um whatever you get is is just going to give you whatever it's worth huh? oh shit stick stick stick who knew?
11:03 this time we only do 4 damage. i hope you understood that the items you select can hit the slot or maybe they don't. yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. i'm a little confused about why that first sword did 3 and the second one did 1 though. i'm a little bit confused about that. i'm a little bit confused about why i'm rolling sword stick stick instead of tongue tongue tongue sahur.
11:24 don't use triple t's name in vain. oh, i'm a johnny come lately to tongue, tongue, tongue, sahour. i've still been rocking 6'7". and you might think that i only, like, i code switch. i only use 6'7 when i'm talking to you or when i'm, like, talking to my daughter. no, no, no. we'll be out at dinner with, like, other people our age. and if kate says, if someone asks, like, how many of something she has and she says, i don't know, six or seven, i go, wait a minute. and then she's, like, surreptitiously tries to be like, don't say it.
11:53 i'll bust it out of every situation. i don't care, man. i'm different kind of beasts like that. i'm something of a meme lord. oh shit. what happened to moses, bro? it's northernlion time. yes, sir. well, that two shields should save me. seems not good. so like, i mean, i guess i'm, oh, you do have a health bar. it's at the top by the way, but it's kind of wonderful. he's gonna hit me for 999 this turn. that seems bad. there you go. i've also been killed.
12:41 nah man, they think they're mega man x. this is interesting but i expected more. to be honest, i'm disappointed. finding a worthy opponent isn't so easy these days. farewell little hero. was it really necessary to bother me for such a trifle? well, time to go. bro, you bothered me. i was minding my own business. you bothered me.
13:03 each of us is sinful. no one deserves forgiveness. what are they okay. what do they think they're doing here in this game? they're getting deep into the philosophical themes, uh, that i did not expect after the master comes in dabbing on us. the one who is stronger wins. that is the law of nature. i will follow her orders until my heart stops beating. will there be someone who can interrupt its beat? i'm waiting for you, hero.
13:39 now it's doki doki literature club. this is a crazy ass like tone that the game is establishing, man.
14:03 can you tell yeti to buy me blonde on blonde on vinyl? i'm not gonna tell yeti is literally 19 years old. they shouldn't be buying anything on vinyl. they should be like, you know, filling up that emergency fund or whatever. like save saving up nickels from mowing lawns to, you know, go to college in september or whatever. i did see the greatest reviewer on letterbox of all time by the way, don't don't tell me to click on this.
14:27 i, uh, i saw the greatest review on letterboxd of all time. i promise you, one day, the 2000s crude comedy reappraisal is going to happen. right now it seems impossible because judd apatow is like america's number one most wanted film criminal and trust me, i get it. you don't think i got it? bro, i saw funny people when it came out. this shit is like three hours and seventeen minutes too long. regardless,
14:52 it's no uncut gems, let's put it that way. but when the 2000s comedy reappraisal comes out, when the theme starts happening, meet the parents is not going to be a 3.3 on letterboxd anymore. it's going to have an albert brooksy in style rise to like a 3.7. 3.8 might be pushing it, but i could easily see in 10 years it getting to a 3.7 because it's actually great.
15:19 and then one of the top reviews was like ben stiller in the horrible very bad no good day or something like that. they gave it five stars and their profile picture was bob dylan's blonde on blonde. i said this is the perfect reviewer. i clicked on their letterbox profile location. black diamond bay.
15:39 i said this is a real one right here. that's almost just followed them out of nowhere despite not even knowing who they were. there you go. librarians put them on blast here. but i was like, i want you to know that i respected it. let's put it that way. crazy. the names are just throwing me for a loop man. geisty, cult, death, sovereign. like i feel like.
16:02 not that there's anything wrong with this, this is so clearly like translated literally from another language into english. this is crazy for like the third item you see in a game, man. geisty colt death sovereign. one damage, perform x3 echo. if slob machine is 3 plus rows, 4 damage, 30% crit chance. weapon that always has 15% ricochet chance. i mean of course we want that, man.
16:32 can i try a bit out on you guys? why do moms always have the craziest sparkling water flavors? why am i at my mom's house? she says, can i get you a drink? i say, yeah, do you have any sparkling water? she comes out with a limoncello flavored sparkling water. literally not even a thing. it's a thing in my family. i'm drinking like some vanilla lemonade flavored sparkling water. that's my favorite? no, man. you might be moms. not that there's anything wrong with it.
17:02 you don't know ball? i literally do know ball. i drank three bottles of san pellegrino with dinner on saturday. it felt awesome until i got the bill. but then i said, you know what? you shouldn't stress out about the bill. it's literally the price of like two cocktails. people out there, they're literally, they'll get like two cocktails and be like, that seems about right. but all of a sudden i'm a dickhead for forgetting three san pellegrinos. it was, they're good, man. they're good.
17:28 at least with the cocktails you get a little drunk. silence 27 year old, a 37 year old is speaking. i'm literally 30. everybody's got to learn some time. everyone's got a tongue, tongue, tongue, sahoor sometime. that's back off the eternal sunshine of this, the eternal tongue, tongue, tongue, sahoor shine of the spotless. i'll get there. i'll get there.
17:55 thank you unofficial nl vons for the gifted subscriptions by the way. thank you. thank you. go away. librarian, why did you watch the original top gun? why'd you watch the original top gun this weekend? can i say something? i think i gagged you a little bit. i think i gagged you a little bit by calling you out for only watching like heartfelt sentimental japanese cinema. and you said, i got to watch some american drek. i got to watch
18:24 well you've been watching a lot of tom cruise movies. it pains me to say that he's actually been in a lot of great stuff. he's actually one of my favorite actors unfortunately. they do need to free him from mission impossible prison. maybe when they finally finish the scientology and e% speedruns, maybe their prize will be to free tom cruise from
18:48 the emperor's suite, where he's gonna be holed up in there like david in peter weyland's office. and then he's gonna come out and make some more quinoa. he's a cocky white boy merchant. he literally gets humbled in edge of tomorrow, but whatever, speak your truth. 15 bottles of sam pelly, 27 bucks at costco. okay, i want, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. that's big.
19:13 it's a good water at a great price! it's a good water at a great price! how you doing by the way, chiblee? not used to seeing chiblee at 9.41am, although i guess it's like almost lunchtime in texas. i'm good, didn't go to bed at 6am last night. that's huge. that's huge. i was enjoying watching you guys play killer in, and i enjoyed playing it. i believe that. i like a i mean, listen.
19:40 i'm not sponsored. i will probably never play killer inn, but it's certainly... i like a weird game. i like a game that was clearly... i don't know, it had like a suda51 style vibe to it where i feel like at any point... i'm walking on eggshells a little bit here, but...
20:05 it felt like if it was designed by shareholders, someone would have said, what are we doing? we can't do what i don't know what's going on. so it almost feels like complimentary for me to say that it seems like there was one creative vision that was really driving it forward through a lot of obstacles where maybe some other situations might have led to people being like,
20:29 we can't do this. it had a certain amount of soul to it. yes, that's what i'm trying to say. you have made me skip my turn. okay. and then, so like, my dude had zs coming out of the top of his head, but i guess we get to go anyway. zs, good point because, so it's zs, not zs, absolutely.
20:59 is it actually pronounced she? my app says it's more like sure. i'm not the guy you should be asking, but i'm saying this strawberry looks how sure how sure the strawberry looks how sure you know what i'm talking about. listen back to yourself saying it. why would i do that bro? i don't understand chinese henchmen type vibes here. big time henchmen vibes. you're going to try to do six damage to me.
21:28 i'm going to try to block for 6 damage and cause you to experience 8 bullets. 6 bullets. and then also a couple extra bullets. and then you're going to wait a second and then you're going to hit me. okay. online casino music. tony bette ai generated canadian market ad for online casinos.
21:57 you're fucked, maybe? i should have just put only the gun in there, man, because it does more damage when you get more of the same thing in a row. just like a real slot machine. the music is taking me out, man. it's so...
22:22 oh man.
22:40 oh well, apparently you weren't lying. damn. these bitches destroyed my hometown for this shitty factory so now i'm on revenge spree. you guys are strong. let's join forces. what do you say? name's laura but you can call me sharpie. allies wouldn't hurt. we have a safe house near the fruity forest. you're much welcome. neat. nice time to catch my breath since i don't have a home now. summon me when i'm needed, okay? damn. that's crazy.
23:11 i won also. maybe yoda hits a vape in the movie. even if that was true, it's not enough. if he took a dab, it's a different story. but just just taking a hit off of a knob and greed bubble volume for gold pop chance 50% end of battle for gold. when it pops, you gain all accumulated gold pop chance 50% holds cost 248 gold.
23:45 just try it, who the hell knows? i mean, fair enough. wait, gain 500 instantly. after each fight pay 150 gold or take 10 damage, last 5 fights. 20% chance to evade. blurry grimace, what the fuck? mcdonald's are you watching? how were you exposed to veggietales? christian baddies in my high school. and as is the case for most of the people who were christian baddies in high school, they literally both went goth in senior year.
24:16 it's a time when your personality is very much in flux. your personality can go through a lot of changes from like the first day of ninth grade to the last day of 12th grade. first day of ninth grade, you're basically still just like, i mean, you're modeling clay, you know? you haven't even, you don't even know who you are yet. there's always like that one kid that's like, i've always wanted to be an engineer, but apart from that kid, the average, the median high school student is still figuring out like what the hell's going on.
24:45 inside and outside. pen damage, huh? i'm gonna level with you. i'm gonna go full defensive role first. huge. i'm fucking tripping out at the soundtrack, man. this is what happens when you... motherfuckers will really be like, oh yeah, i like jazz. and then like, this is the jazz. this is the jazz. and if you got this jazz, i'm bugging out, man. vibran, you might have the inside scoop. when's linda, linda, linda coming to the criterion collection?
25:22 there's gotta be like a japanese, like feel good, buildings roman collection coming out. like a swing girls, linda, linda, linda. and then like just put another, they always have like, you know, two great ones and then two that are like just okay. they could put two more that are just, they already got k on, that's true. they're dropping bond on criterion just for me cause i'm starting my phase. honestly, i wouldn't say i'm jealous, but i'm,
25:52 i'm happy for you, nick, to start your james bond phase. and admittedly, the first three james bond movies, dr. no from russia with love and goldfinger, are all really fun. like, pretty good but also fun. i am worried, worried's maybe not the right word, but watching them for the first time as a, you know, self styled member of generation z,
26:18 it's kind of for me a little bit of a countdown to like these movies haven't aged well. i was watching them in 2006. trust me, they hadn't aged well in 2006 as well. he was doing some shit in all three movies that you did not do in 2006. so don't, just spare me the review that makes it seem like yours is the first generation that knew that what james bond as sean connery or vice versa was doing in 1967 was not okay.
26:47 we knew that it wasn't okay too. millennials were the first generation, okay? i think he did some shitting for you only live twice. that's like just, i mean, those probably won't ever make it to criterion to be fair, but he shouldn't have been doing all that. let's put it that way. also, there's no shot. there's no shot. bros undercover like in japan and people are like, yeah, this guy, this guy's obviously japanese. there's no way man. just it's inconceivable.
27:17 now mickey rooney from breakfast at tiffany's. i don't know man, it's been a while, let's put it that way. trying to get into foreign cinema as an american, what canadian movie should i watch? honestly, you might not be able to handle it. i think you have to be canadian to appreciate 32 short films about glenn gould. you have to be more canadian than me to appreciate adam egleyan's speaking parts as well.
27:42 sure, yeah, you know what young pup, just concern yourself with a little bit of cronenberg. you guys go crazy over jeff goldblum for whatever reason. just go ahead and watch yourself a little bit of the fly. i'm on the top 10 canadian films of all time wikipedia page and have never heard of any of these. here you go sweetie, top 10 canadian films of all time. you've never heard of a tunnel ridge out the fast runner?
28:04 i haven't seen it, but every time i get on an air canada flight, it's on there. and i haven't watched it because it's like 161 minutes long, but i'm fucking gonna watch it. it's actually playing a vif later this year, man. i might be you haven't heard of dead ringers, the sweet hereafter? come on. now i'll give you some credit for having not heard of like all these movies that are like from quebec, but like dead ringers, my winnipeg, the guy madden movie? come on, man. come on.
28:34 you haven't heard of resident evil revelations? you haven't heard of resident evil afterlife? resident evil apocalypse? my canadian ass hasn't seen any of these. most of us are kind of like, and i count myself in here, most of us are kind of traitors. honestly there's some peak canadian cinema man. isn't vancouver a popular film location? yeah they feel like, listen it's good because people get work out of it but like they film a lot of really bad american tv shows here for sure man.
29:03 you ever wanna catch like a sneak peek of what's gonna happen on the new season of like family law? it's great. just take a walk around. but eventually they're gonna make deadpool 8 here or whatever. a lot of hallmark stuff, yeah, yeah. at that like the outlet mall near the airport. they filmed ken miasma out there? wait, but is this... i'm gonna find out they filmed it in burnaby and it's gonna make the whole bit go like full circle.
29:33 it's kind of sounds like, they used to, i stood for nothing, so i fell for everything. they held me down, but i got up. i never had enough, i hear their voice, i hear that sound, like thunder gonna shake the ground. the first lady of canada, where did you guys fall on that kalshi market by the way? i don't honestly,
30:00 if you gave me even odds on them getting engaged this summer or them breaking up, i think i take the odds of them breaking up. i see it as like it's a rebound personally. as someone who has intimate knowledge of the situation, i see it as a rebound. no shot, that's wifey. justin or katie? i watched flight the other day. i think the cocktail of drugs and alcohol low key made bro lock in on the plane. the copilot was losing his marbles.
30:27 it is kind of like alcoholic coke, but denzel drunk was a more capable pilot than the co pilot was sober. but less capable than if denzel had been not an alcoholic and sober. the sad truth is that if he had been, if he'd suffered from alcohol use disorder and he was sober when the plane was crashing, he probably would have done worse because he wouldn't have been at homeostasis.
30:57 but it would have been better if he never had that first drink back in like 1989 or whenever he had the first drink. so literally yes, alcohol was a buff for him in that situation. 100%. real question, what's the best type of movie to watch on an airplane? it's simple, just ask the dude sitting behind you and to the left and to the right what they want to watch because they're going to be peeping your screen the whole time anyway. figure out what they want to watch. my fucking eyes man.
31:27 my fucking eyes are freaking out trying to look at the screen right now. i'm sorry, i can't look at the screen except to select my shit. people did get mad at me for reviewing f1 because i watched it on an airplane, but they're like, this is disrespectful to the film. buddy, have you seen the film? the film is disrespectful to the fucking audience, man. if i wanted to see old people drive like an asshole, i'd fucking just go to shaughnessy.
31:57 it's a little vancouver specific joke for you, but those of you who live in vancouver will be like, damn, he's fucking spitting with that one. i'd go to costco, that would be a much better, a more universal joke, for sure.
32:10 i thought it was going to be another burnaby slam. people, i'm not slamming burnaby, okay? i know we've been through this a few times, but i have to hit it. people are like, when are you going to end your beef with burnaby? i have no beef with burnaby. just, burnaby's fine. stop equating it with vancouver. you do burnaby a disservice when you say your favorite vancouver restaurant is actually like on north road. just call it a burnaby restaurant. you don't need to like sneak it in clandestine like.
32:36 burnaby's a you should be proud to be a burnabarian! you don't have to misrepresent it! killarney shouldn't be part of vancouver. shouldn't is doing some heavy lifting there, but i don't know what the fuck goes on there. there's a lot of parts of vancouver, i don't necessarily know what goes on though. what was the blackjack game that ricky played? blackjacket. damn, same price for cloverpit plus blackjacket or balotra plus blackjacket.
33:02 and the same price for dungeons and degenerate gamblers and black jacket. you know what i honestly getting that free code for dungeons and degenerate gamblers has probably saved me like $200 buying other roguelikes on steam as literally like they gave me a coupon that allowed me to get every other roguelike that came out in 2026 for like 10% off infinite money glitch kind of
33:30 it's like when you get a student discount card and all of a sudden you're like, damn, i can get anything i want at new york fries and get 15% off to this fucking day. i've still never been in new york fries.
33:42 not a single time in my fucking life. don't you just write it off anyway? yeah, yeah, but when you... why do we always cut our bagels in half like this when we could cut them in half like this? and when you're washing your... if you're bald and you're washing your face, how do you know how high to go up? and also, like, you know, is a hot dog a sandwich? you know, as long as we're getting into like fucking 2013 ass mustache tattoo on my finger ass bait that would go super viral on reddit.
34:10 come on, you gotta bring a more small batch handcrafted level of bait to this chat. you can't be using the same shit that's like farming blood pressure in normie chats, okay? if a horse wore pants, would it fucking wear him like this? or would it wear him like this? a horse wore pants, would it fucking... chris hardwick ass. also, you don't know how taxes work. i don't either, but you know, tis better to appear a fool than to open one's mouth type shit.
34:41 you know what bit has been in my head? sorry to skip this by the way, it was just i'm to thine own self be true claudius type shit.
34:52 what if will smith played john wick? and it would be like, you know, wicky wicky wicky wicky wicky john wick wick, john wick, desperado, assassin. no, you don't want nada. minus two, you don't think it would be cool if will smith was john wick and he did a rap song for john wick?
35:15 i was about to minus two, but i actually think it's awesome. yes, man. gotta go up to the continental. better play it cool. don't wanna go mental. what's the name of ian mcshane in john wick? the groundskeeper, something like that. what's his name? winston. no, not winston. it is winston? hey, winston. winston. yeah, that sounds right.
35:42 oh no, he fucked up, took a shot to the groin. it's okay winston, just take a gold coin. something like that. uh huh. uh, uh. john wickiwick. wickiwick. jig wicky wicky john wick wick. something like that, you know? it could it could fucking work. that's getting more minus twos. i think you're minus twoing me because that's how will smith sounds when he raps. he doesn't curse? well we'll fucking edit it out in post or whatever. now it's my turn.
36:10 okay, joffrey. promise? damn.
36:34 yes. i suggest you pass. i like to live dangerously. we need more tutorials like that with the fuck ass like medieval tone.
37:06 you get everything in the winner's. he's not just british. he's putting a little medieval sauce on it. you have a blackjack, which is the best hand in the game. true. you should pass. yeah, no kidding. no kidding, buddy. remember, a blackjack beats everything. so a blackjack is just a two card 21. to get a blackjack, you need an ace. okay, yes. and any card with the value 10.
37:35 if neither one of us have a blackjack... okay, i own you. and just like that, i am out of coins. you win. you get all the coins that are built up in your window. why do british people talk to north americans like we just walked into their jewelry store with two full bags of garbage? what do you mean by that? why do british people always talk to north americans like we walked into their jewelry store with two full bags of garbage? it's true? i just don't know what the vibes are like.
38:06 i don't know what the vibes are like when someone speaks to you like you walked into a jewelry store with two full bags of garbage. just imagine you walk into a jewelry store. well, as we established last stream, i don't really know what that's like. it hasn't happened to me that much. imagine you went to get your watch battery changed but your backpack smells. i just, i can't conjure
38:31 uh like a sense of of what that's like. i have i have been to a watch store to get my watch battery changed. i don't know why why would my backpack smell? i don't i don't understand. amphibious b.i.g. be like it was all a stream i used to read pond up magazine. that could be that could be something. it could be something. lily pants looking flies off the mezzanine.
39:01 get me away from here, i'm diamonds buy me an ace to set me free everybody wants, everyone wants to sum to 21 so why can't it be me? get in my first card, it's got insight i kept standing on 21 instead of 22
39:28 a lot of exiled in guyville is relevant to literally any conversation. fuck it, mark this card, bro. an ace. who would have thought? oh shit. okay, well, a six. give me some insight off that one. three coming up. i'll leave that on top. we can do something with that three. swap with the opposing slot. okay, big whoop, bro. three that gains hollow. insight three on opponent. you're sitting on four. give you a basic six, man.
40:06 showing 10 not so good, but... oh! 21! 21 beats 20. motherfucker! debz, if you're watching, it doesn't mean the story's bad, that i skip it. it just means i love clicking things. tomo, it's lunchtime buddy. go get some food. tomo, there's food! tomo, you fat lard, come get your dinner! i don't know about this.
40:49 bring back will smith, john wick. i do think there's something there. bad man put a gun in my groin. don't sweat it winston here take a golden coin. looking damn good. don't know if i can say it myself. john wick baba yaga don't go a gog. i tried to retire, they shouldn't have fricked with my dog. uh huh. you know what i'm saying? that's more lin manuel miranda doing a john wick musical though. that's more, that was more lin manuel miranda.
41:16 stop it, johnny, don't wanna get a dog he tried to retire but then they fucked with this dog they say, man, he's the model, the stencil you should see what this mama jamma can do with a pencil okay, will smith, john wick won't work but lin manuel miranda, john wick will fucking work it will fucking work it's so crazy if you're watching this on youtube you literally just missed the best bit of all time a lot of the best bits exist in the interstitial
41:44 the space is in between, man. the big fucking short, motherfucker. link to a western film?
41:54 a western film starring the motherfuckers? how about a big bold beautiful journey hamish linkletter type shit? he plays colin farrell's dad. it doesn't, i'm getting dangerously close to 100 movies having seen in 2026. i'm telling you with god as my witness, i think there is a very, very solid chance. i'm giving it minus 150 on the odds line right now that a big bold beautiful journey is going to be the worst of the 100 movies that i've seen in 2026. i 100% believe
42:23 i think it's the favorite right now. it's the favorite. yes! they put us in bullshit! okay, submit the fastest response. it's too late. link to a film from any franchise? billy magnussen? isn't he in like the... oh, any franchise? how about the batman, bro? no, how about fucking harley motherfucking quinn? birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn. damn, we're actually kind of getting our ass beat. that didn't count as a franchise?
42:54 it's in the harley quinn franchise, man. suneito nürburgl admins, are you watching? german language film. what about schindler's list, bro? it was worth a shot. i'm sure they speak a little german in schindler's list. the title is german austrian. schindler's german and list is austrian. this is a little joke about the pianist for you. not the movie, the pianist. that's adrian brody. he's jamaican. but list is the austrian piano player. you know what i'm saying?
43:27 list is actually hungarian? oh, okay. pretty close. pretty close. a drama starring geoffrey rush? yeah, it's gonna be shakespeare in love, bro. excuse me, shakespeare? okay, that's a fucking drama. it's a comedy too. but you know how i know it's a drama? because it won oscars. comedies don't fucking win oscars. so it has to be a drama.
43:57 jurassic park films starting with an e. sam neill at the mountains of madness. laura dern is this thing on? e starting laura e. eternal sun tried to the spotless mind. wayne knight e starting with an e. samuel l. jackson starting with an e. steven spielberg starting with an e. i'll be right here. wait, we're up there now. we're fucking up there. a fantasy film from charlie's angels
44:31 is jojo rabbit a fantasy? mother fucker, man. jojo rabbit won an oscar? best, best fucking... i don't know. best what? don't say best movie. shrek to an animated movie from the 2000s? yeah, it's gonna be shrek 2. i think everybody's getting points off this one. that's tough for you, malte. that's tough for you, because all three of them fucking lined up! that's a triple collateral on free for all. oh, baby!
45:04 oh, barbie. that's a good one. most popular unique suggestion? probably anchorman, the legend of ron burgundy is going to be up there. probably not. i'm probably just a millennial. there's probably like nine ryan gosling and margot robbie movies that are way more popular than anchorman 1 now that i think about it. drive. game over. you've lost. you finished that. that makes sense.
45:34 mandarin czech? what do you want me to say? well, i should not ask you that because you're going to ask me to say something i don't know the words for. wǒ shì yà dāng. my name is adam. no, that's i am adam, sorry. wǒ jiào yà dāng. my name's adam, y'all. my name is adam. let me hit him with the... your name isn't adam though? yeah, i still got to figure out what my chinese name is going to be.
45:59 is cheng long in this one? like if i hit you with a fucking police story, is that gonna ohhh shit! let's fucking do this bro! good morning is good too? police story. police story too, because it doesn't have maggie chung in it. umm... or michelle yeoh for that actually it probably does have maggie chung in it, but it doesn't have michelle yeoh. when you say good morning, are you talking about the song from singing in the rain or do you just want me to say, hao... hao... zao? hao... zao? good morning to you as well.
46:31 police story 2 with a skip? yeah bro, i think we'll be playing in the mood for love off that one right there. dao sheng hao. stan lee to spider man. yeah, we're gonna be going to, um, we're gonna be going a little deeper. we're gonna be going to something like, uh, how about drag me to hell and then see what the fuck you know about alison lohman, bro. you know some shit about ted raimi? he's in my name is bruce. don't fucking play another ted raimi movie. you're fucked, buddy!
47:10 i'm dropping you in my name is bruce. ted raimi has a very regrettable role in that movie. but you probably know some other bruce campbell shit, but then boom! i hit you with bubba ho tep. what are you doing? you're hitting me with skip and then i think ozzy davis is in do the right thing. i think you're fucked, blad. i think you're fucking fucked. i think i'm thinking six moves ahead. i'm stockfish. i'm stockfish, bro. yeah, yeah, yeah. so what are you gonna... you don't know this. you're gonna skip it to me and then i'm gonna play do the right thing. have you heard about the news on mezon 5?
47:44 people got a shout to stay alive. barbershop? come on, man. it's a spike lee joint! rosie perez? fuck it, bro. i'll take your ass to rampart. it feels fucking good. it does feel good to be in your bag. put you in high fidelity. see if you want to play off of todd louiso. no, it's a kill shot. better off dead. probably better off dead. he's even better off dead. what's he's in say anything? say anything gives me the cameron crowe out. might be big phone booth.
48:18 the fuck? it's not kiefer sutherland, dog. it's not colin farrell. you talking about grant budapest hotel? the fuck are we doing? no disrespect. good game. nl streaming on the weekends is an insane recession indicator. it's monday, young pup. might want to give the office a little ring a ding ding. i wouldn't want to work in an office that doesn't get memorial day off. don't you want to move to japan? i thought you all wanted to move to japan. they're probably in the office today if i had to guess.
48:48 fantasy film from magnolia? yeah, it's going to be legend. 1985. boom! bro, you go to japan every other week? lemau? yeah, i like it. i think it's a great country to visit as a tourist for sure. yeah, but the yen carry trade? i don't know about that, man. how's the central bank of japan? they got to get a little bit more financial sovereignty, right? they got to get net positive interest rates when factoring in inflation. didn't you have a mental breakdown there? yeah, but i've had breakdowns in
49:23 north america too, they ain't special. fastest response? bubble boy, bubble boy, bubble boy. i don't think i got the fastest response, bro. what happened in japan? i'll be honest, i saw too many fake bitches. most of them were other tourists. film from the 2020s, now you see me. okay, i mean, obviously the easy play would be now you don't 2025. woody harrelson's already been used three times, bro. you probably hit him with a little jesse eisenberg.
49:52 jesse eisenberg, perhaps the one man who thinks that he would look weird bald, who's actually right. i'll say it. fuck it, a real pain was so fucking good too. also, they'd already won an oscar. they won an oscar, okay? rory culkin, oscar winning film. easy, bro. science. oh shit, i'm in trouble though. science? oh, it's a different culkin. that's a kieran movie. oh no, that one's rory. the other one's kieran. social network? best facebook movie?
50:21 i got my kieran's and my rory's confused. don't even get me started on macaulay. oh shit. link to a film starting with elle with steve carell or paul rudd or do you ignore? that should start with an elle bro. roman imalco bitch. rowan my time of need roman imalco came to me and saved me. guys look at this. it's a fucking tight game at the top. a western film
50:56 wild wild west with kenneth branagh. oh, to any outlaw trying to draw thinking you're bad and he drawing the west best be with a pen and a pad. don't even think about it. john, you should have retired. don't get a gog. well, i tried to retire, but then they done fucked with my dog. end game first to 140. oh shit. submit the old. oh fuck. i don't know. probably singing in the rain. worth a shot. sunset boulevard.
51:29 all right, reservoir dogs. yeah, that's fair. that's fair. you kind of cooked me with that one. definitely was more sensible to go for an al pacino connection than trying to get some like richard dalton connection or whatever the dude's name is in the movie. hate movies? oh, you were just in the game with us.
51:57 bro, didn't you make the finals? what do you mean you don't know anybody who's in observing report? let's not go crazy here. ant man? yeah, it's gonna be atl via ti. ant man and the wasp? all right. i mean, i don't really know a third ti movie to be honest with you. don't really want to play, oh, fucking play quantum mania on you, whatever. let's just, they didn't have ti in that one. he didn't go to the quantum realm. damn, guardians of the galaxy, bradley cooper. it's a smart play. it's a smart play.
52:31 i'm gonna take care of devil. is that what this cabin knock at the cabin dave bautista? i don't like to be a second strike for any actor deadpool. nah, man. there is a taxi driver in both movies though. you're right about this one mmm, there's a say casino royale. no, i had to my bad angelina jolie, maybe how about salt 2010?
53:03 i would say what because isn't gemma or teaton in eternals and then also in one of the bond movies but i don't know which one? passion of the christ? you know what you haven't seen movies your names hate movies it makes perfect sense to me. what's the what's the pope movie? pope's exorcist 2023? i was literally gonna type in the fat pope. russell crowe's been used three times bro. gg to you as well hate movies gg.
53:35 why limit yourself to criterion channel? true, i could be watching some dreck on prime video. i donate you with your favorite movies. megressa, i watched picnic at hanging rock because you gave it a five star. that's some serious glazing. anybody could be like, wow, that sounds good. and you would probably be like, this person's my best friend. who among us is actually gonna nut up and go 96 minutes on the peloton watching this australian movie from like 1975? that's respect.
54:05 respect is putting fucking boots to ass and spending time building a connection with someone. that's what respect is. respect is spending the only resource that actually matters, your limited amount of time on this blue fucking marble to be able to interface and relate to somebody else. everybody else goes, yeah, i looked up the synopsis on wikipedia. i don't know, seems cool. by the way, have you seen balls up? i fucking put, i put boots to ass on that one.
54:35 they need more cronenberg on criterion? bro, you sobbed like two months too late. they had every cronenberg movie until the end of april. hate movies, come on. we just played together. we just played together. i know you don't know the lord of the rings films. look to a film starring whoopi goldberg. what the fuck, man? i guess i'll just try ghost. this will fucking try theodore rex. all right, in that case, fucking play some crazy shit, man. play some cronenberg for that chatter.
55:07 link to a mystery? a mystery. boondock saints. it's a mystery why so many of my friends love this movie. you're getting beat by hate movies? oh shit, i'm on the bubble, man. that's a mystery? aren't they looking for somebody? il duce is looking for them, right? submit the newest film, robert pattinson. might be fastest? might literally be within the fastest and also the newest film. might also be a mystery? it's a mystery why they didn't just suck each other off and fucking
55:39 blow each other and fuck each other instead of like getting involved with all the killing shit. jerking off the scrimshaw. link to a mysterious action movie? yeah bro. okay, tenet is a fucking mystery. it's a mystery what they're saying because the sound mixing is kind of fucked up. damn, hate movies is in first place man. longest title. longest title. i think it might be the prisoner of azkaban, man. whatever, boost me to 48. that was like a 14 point bonus. i'm in last fucking place, bro.
56:09 most popular unique submission off of alien. this literally has a chance though. this one literally has a chance. a lot of people are going to blow themselves out on the other aliens. i'm getting in there on the sneaky ian holm connection. hey movies collected this loot. film from the 2010s is worth more. okay, you probably play avatar 2. yeah, probably play probably play avatar 2 off this one. don't make it over complicated.
56:43 avatar 2 is from the 2020s, isn't it? now that i've clicked it, it's from the 20s. it said 2022 at the end of it. could have played guardians of the galaxy, bro. could have played guardians of the galaxy. now i'm fucked, man. go to round 22, bottom two. oh, and i triggered the mine! we can do this. guardians of the galaxy. how am i going to get some points back, man? it's already been played! oh, cch pounder. stephen lang? okay, i can do either. don't breathe. don't breathe. don't breathe off of stephen lang.
57:15 oh, it's from a franchise! because they made a fuck ass sequel. what are my odds? zero. danny boyle movie from the 1980s. 28 seconds later. 28 seconds later would have been a hell of a play, man. well, good game guys. good game. you fucking got me. i was eliminated in ninth place.
57:44 what the fuck, he's live? how many times do i have to tell you? wo bu shou, wo bu shu mei guo ren. wo bu shu mei guo ren. of course i'm live on memorial day. wo bu shou mei guo ren. i don't know what that means. i am not american. i am not an american person. very important for one of the first phrases i learned for a reason. because if i ever find myself over there, i'm gonna be using, i'm gonna have that on a t shirt.
58:13 i don't know, you look pretty american to me. you could literally be banned for saying that. i'm too honest to do it, but you could be, you could literally be, i'm not even trolling you. you could be banned for saying that. i'm honestly impressed that i got what you were trying to say. okay, but the way you've written that sentence, not to correct your english, but the way that you've written that sentence is you made it seem like you were impressed with your hearing. you made it, you didn't, it didn't sound like you're saying i am impressed
58:41 that you learned enough mandarin to express that you're not american. you made it sound like your hearing is so good that even though i'm so fucking busted, you could still make out what it was. i only came for two days of playing. this era of every stim being a will smith lyric has gotta stop. it's absolutely gotta end. how ironic would it be to see will smith as neo versus agent smith?
59:12 i literally can't picture it. the wachowskis are really lucky that will smith said no. or i don't know, maybe they were kind of on their goat shit. maybe hard to fucking conceptualize. what if, and i'm asking you to suspend all this belief, what if the matrix would have been better if it had will smith in it as neo? i'm not saying it would have been. i'm suggesting what if it would have been. orbit seems like it could work well for us.
59:47 i'm talking like i'm in season one of the devil's plan y'all. you ever see it? orbit went crazy? i thought he added a certain unique cooperative element to a competition show. fuck the end of season two? yeah, i mean the show's dead to me because of everything that happened at the end of season two but... what's your take on the jail in the devil's plan? i don't know if this is the take you're asking for.
1:00:14 but i actually think it could be kind of a vibe. i think like hanging out in a room with a bunch of single beds and like all your homies are there and you're wearing the same clothes, i honestly think it could be kind of fun. i mean i get that you only get to eat rice or whatever but at least you're with your crew.
1:00:29 remind me how season two ended. i don't want to ruffle any feathers in the online korean community, but if i remember correctly, all the biggest alliance just voted out the smallest alliance one by one for like 10 weeks in a row. and then at the end in the 1v1, the one lady just said, i don't really mind if you win and just kind of threw so that the other guy could win.
1:00:56 which made the whole show feel, you were like, why did i watch this? i watched my favorite contestants get eliminated over and over and over every single week with no possible comeback mechanic. and then in the finals, they were just like, like basically one lady resigned. i miss slaughter, not and black jacket. don't worry. they're coming back. black jacket actually might come back, but i,
1:01:26 slaughter not might not make it back. it's going to the big farm upstairs. isn't it upstate? i mean, i guess there could be a farm upstairs like an ant farm or something, but it's upstate. did you type upstate? did i read it wrong? before i banned you?
1:01:47 you don't have upstates? we have upst honestly, you know what blew my mind? two things. finding out that new york is the only state that has an upstate and also new york is the only state that has tri state. as a canadian, i rebuke this. outside of the city is upstate in every state and the three states that are adjacent are tri state areas. does any state other than illinois have a downstate?
1:02:16 i'm just, i'm not the type of fella to be qualified to answer upon that. i did say one time that food goes crazy when you're hungry. i did say that. i didn't invent that but i did say it once. first day in the gta, i'm canada maxing. get a jamaican beef patty.
1:02:37 yes, dude was not about dundas square. it was about the jamaican patty. okay. dundas square ain't that where they got the... there's probably an earl's or something there, right? there's a future shop, right? isn't that like the... that's where the most important future shop to the canadian economy is? no future shop anymore. now it's a whataburger. what happened to our country, man?
1:02:59 when the canadian electronics chain gets replaced with an american fast food burger, i'm not gonna lie, best buy might clear future shop. once they brought back best buy to canada, the riocan center in kingston had a future shop and a best buy. i was routinely going to the best buy instead, but that was pre elbows up. and my classic future shop story is that
1:03:24 when i was 12, i went in for a usb cable cuz i bought a printer. the printer was $9 and i was like, that's an awesome deal. and then the rub was that it came with no fucking cable. so i went back to future shop to get a cable and the guy was like, yeah, you definitely want the gold plated usb cable. cuz the fidelity on the data is even better cuz it's gold. and i was like, okay, that sounds good.
1:03:48 she was $50 man, and then i he got me on commission. i understand as a salesperson you have to you know you make your living on commission a little bit but awful like a little 12 year old kid buying a usb cable for his printer it wasn't conflict avoidant people didn't know back then man people didn't know bro probably made like 350 on commission from me best buy doesn't do commission. that's why they're the goats man, maybe
1:04:18 i don't know, they might have done some fucked up stuff for all i know. although that's true, there might be so much gold in that. maybe we could have turned a profit or maybe we still could if i hadn't thrown it in the garbage at some point. it's okay he has a biology degree, it's natural he can't count. i can count the $7.99 you're giving me a month, engineer. how do you feel about that? don't let your feelings get hurt. don't type, i could easily can't. don't let your feelings get hurt, it's beneath you.
1:04:49 and don't type some shit like i'm actually not a sub. i know that but i thought of the fucking, i thought of the comeback before i saw that you had the no badge next to you.
1:05:00 you know the fake type a's go insane every time you leave energy on the table? i know now they're typing shit like i fucking killed a dude in that one with a two cost card and they went rip pales tears. bro, the goal of the game is to fucking kill the enemies. they don't like they're not real type. they're like ascension 8 andes that are like, what are you doing? they're just typing question marks.
1:05:19 because it's fucking what we're doing is so fucking advanced that to them it appears akin to magical spells they can't possibly comprehend it. they think we're speaking gibberish when we are casting magics with a k from a book that has human flesh as the cover. have you seen the steely dan 2000 live dvd? they're interviewing an audience member who's talking about how much they love steely dan and i swear to god he looks just like you circa 2013 i look the same now as i did in 2013. so what's the
1:05:49 i guess i kind of don't understand how that could be different. so he looks the same as i look now 13 years later is what you're saying. i'm gonna have to get this dvd, huh? librarian, god gives his toughest test to his strongest soldiers or whatever, okay? feels like i've always been listening to steely. i was listening to it when i was living on my friend's brown sexual sofa. you ain't steely no more?
1:06:18 yeah, well, daddy don't work in that new york city no more, but he still gets the big piece of chicken. you know what i'm talking about? anyone here know what i'm talking about at all? kind of? yeah, yeah, it's a chris rock joke, exactly. it is indeed a chris rock joke. why did everybody hate chris but love raymond? so the title of everybody hates chris is a riff on everybody loves raymond. it's not like the shows came out at like the same day or whatever.
1:06:51 like the second one is a reference to the first one. so it's like you're basically making the joke that chris made, which is a joke, the first joke of the show because you should know it before you even watch an episode. i know it even though i've never seen an episode, i guess is what i'm trying to say. i was thinking, bro, sovereign blade, i'm not even gonna do the math. summon fourth, sovereign blade, fucking ascension 10, motherfucker!
1:07:24 ascension 10 regen, it's easy. it's easy. it's the easiest game in the world. it's the easiest game that's ever been invented. i hate you. i keep dying on boss two. it's simple. just roll the doorman. as long as you get doorman, you should be chilling. weren't you trashing sovereign blade yesterday? no, that was a youtube video that you were watching. that's not real. i'm not inside of your computer.
1:07:51 like talking to you when you click play. that was recorded like a while ago. yesterday, yesterday i was having my mandarin chinese lesson. yesterday i was learning how to say, sayi jian, sayi jian, sayi jian. that's it. yesterday i was learning how to say, zao shong hao. what changed in the meantime? i won on ascension 10 with it. you're so pompous. someone comes into my chat low effort trolling.
1:08:24 you won with this but the other day you were saying it was bad? they're literally trying to get a rise. i'm defending myself superior to their offense and that gives me a reputation for snobbiness. that's crazy man. that's insane. we really got people say i don't like him he's pretentious because he's better at arguing than the people who go to his chat to get argued? shouldn't you be working on korean? no bro, my in laws can just learn mandarin. we'll all speak mandarin together.
1:08:51 my korean's not so good, their english isn't so good. let's all fucking three of us, let's just learn mandarin. we'll go out for yakiniku and we'll speak mandarin together. it'll be a vibe. you sound american when you speak chinese. mm mm. ni shi. mm mm. pardon me, don't get me twisted. wo bu. wo bu. wo bu shi mei guo ren. ni shi mei guo ren ma. they didn't expect that. they didn't expect that.
1:09:28 do a couple of dolls really quick. bro, i know this one. i did a slash marker dolls as if there's any chance like a nine minute dolls is making it to youtube. obviously that's not going to happen but you can't freaking tell me that this is not the first shot of tenet. this is tenet bro. this is tar. this is tenet. this is money boy!
1:09:54 oh, we can recreate tenant in aggregate. you think i don't know eric chavez, the third baseman for the oakland athletics, or as they call them now, the athletics. keanu neal and dion jones started for what nfc team during a 2010 super bowl? broncos. despite averaging, i don't like how slow this website is, despite averaging less than 12 points per game, yeah, there's simply no way i could possibly know who that is then.
1:10:28 jermaine o'neal, former pacer. before helping the raptors and knicks make deep playoff runs, og onunobi played at this big 10 school, indiana university. oh shit! how? i associate the big 10 with the midwest and i associate iu with historically strong basketball culture. that's simple.
1:10:57 the website's not doing well today. it's definitely, this might be the last daily dozen. they're trying to steal something from my session data for sure. this major brand of citrus flavored soda had a long running slogan calling itself the uncola. it is 7up, huge.
1:11:14 how what's the citrus breakdown like in america? because up here seven up is like unheard of. i mean, it existed back when they had like boss nass on the can in 1999. but we're like a 95% sprite country for it's all sprite here. sprite mogs bigly. sprite overtook them yet seven up is like it's disappeared man. 2000 2006
1:11:42 this coming of age nickelodeon cartoon followed a red haired teen. yeah, that's pepper ann, man. this is right from my fucking era. it's not pepper ann? pepper ann, pepper ann, much too cool for seventh grade. pepper ann, pepper ann, get up now. that's not pepper ann? as told by ginger! ginger? in the night i hear him talk, the coldest story ever told. somewhere far along this road.
1:12:11 he's a runaway girl. no, i know it's heartless. i'm just trying to fuck with the people who are still putting his music on playlists. i'm not getting involved with the kanye discourse, okay? all i'm saying is that saying it's not fair to crungo kanye because he had a mental health episode is kind of crazy.
1:12:29 you can't be out here typing some shit like, well actually, the dude saying the nazi shit was neurodivergent. i'm not equating it one to one. i'm just saying, i know it's a whole thing. there's nuance involved, but calling chatter's evil for saying krungo when there's a kanye west lyric is a little... that's also a step too far. that's a step too far in the other direction.
1:12:57 do i have some songs from late registration on the peloton playlist? yeah. well, i just only listen to the parts that john bryan composed and i'd take my headphones off during the rapping parts and the singing parts, but that's more because adam levine's on a track. eye, eyebrow, eyelash, eyeball, eyelid, eye blank, purple me, mariah. the mariah is too easy here. atm, pin. no, this is
1:13:29 this is a troll. what about add e on the end? it becomes white, it becomes cape, it becomes pine, it becomes scrape. okay, that doesn't make any sense. acronyms. acronyms, wait, c is not an acronym, bro. fuck it. brain's literally dead, man. wait, c is in here? it's atm pincia? or like lol pincia? well, okay. white cyan.
1:14:08 i have no idea. i'm cooked. i have no idea. common promo items, tiny bit, a whit, texting abbreviations, pia, it's short for transient ischemic attack. you say, oh, bbl, pia, it's like, i'll be back later, i'm having a heart attack.
1:14:39 thanks in advance. oh, that's fucked up, bro. you can't be if you're asking someone for something with the presumption that it's going to be done. like you're at you're basically hitting them with an offer they can't refuse. you can't say tia you have to at least write thanks in advance. you can't write tia that's crazy. have you never encountered tia? i mean, i don't know. nobody's ever hit me with like an undeniable ultimatum like that over text, i think.
1:15:10 does your boss have your phone number? i mean, i just don't know how it works these days, to be honest. i'm not trying to be an asshole about it. like your boss might text you and be like, hey, i need you. i know it's late, but i need you to do this right now, tia. boss kind of the only person that could say tia though. cause if like a friend of yours asked you for something and then said tia, you would be like, fuck you, man. ask me for a damn favor. like my time's not worth anything. and then you can't even be bothered to type out the damn words.
1:15:35 when my wife tells me to pick up milk on the way home, your wife says thanks in advance? it's polite to say thanks. it's like doubly impolite to say tia. thanks in advance is already, in my opinion, disrespectful, but then to make it an abbreviation is crazy.
1:15:56 november 2nd, 2001, walt disney was rolling. there's no way lilo and stitch opened to 62 million, i'm sorry to say. an animated comedy family? okay, maybe lilo and stitch? oh, it's monsters inc. if i was a rich man... wait, do i do a fucking cracked john goodman impression? with a million or two? is that not awesome? in my head, that sounds just like him.
1:16:24 i sound just like him in my head. maybe that's like a, it's bone con if you could hear it bone conductive, it sounded just like it. maybe i'd be more like billy crystal. anyone seen when harry met sally? you if you haven't seen it, don't get mad. in the first chapter of when harry met sally, billy crystal has tobuscus swag. he has tobuscus swag. now i'm not saying that's a good thing, for one, before you judge me. i'm not saying that's a good thing. but if you watch the first 15 minutes of that movie, tell me you don't know what i'm saying.
1:16:57 and you're going to say, it is a good thing because it worked. no, it fucking didn't work, bro. sally fucking hated him on that drive to new york city. sally was not fucking with him then. and she wasn't really fucking with him seven years later on the airplane either. that shit took some time to develop. paramount pictures, john travolta, 2001. swordfish? swordfish doesn't feel like a november movie. it's a crime thriller, it's domestic disturbance?
1:17:29 you were fucking getting that one! you were getting domestic disturbance! universal studios, starring jeff bridges from 2001. science fiction drama? k pax, motherfucker? that's k pax, bro.
1:17:47 warner brothers, tony shall hoop 2001. that's 13 ghosts, bro. i mean, are you even trying? also third tony shall who having 13 goes top billing is crazy because it has shannon elizabeth in it coming war right off of the fucking american pie buff. but whatever, man. how did you get this? i've seen several of these movies.
1:18:10 you haven't seen 13 ghosts? i think it might even be tony. no, i don't think it's tony. it might be matthew lillard that gets this. it's like a fucking 13 dead end drive house where there's traps and shit. there's like a plexiglass. the most famous scene is very resident evil one coated. there's a plexiglass door that slams shut like this. and then matthew lillard is going like,
1:18:39 and then you realize that it's fucking bisected his ass because the two halves of his body go like, they like slide at different speeds from the two halves of the plexiglass wall. that was the lawyer. it's literally been 25 years since i saw it at a birthday party. also, i don't know if you've ever had the experience. if you are watching this right now and you are like in the fourth grade, you're going to have
1:19:08 there's such a vibe coming up for you, which is like watching a horror movie that you're probably not supposed to watch yet at like an eighth grade birthday party or something like that. those first few horror movies where you're like, you're watching it with your peers, with like no adults, the adults are probably like upstairs and the movies fucking suck, man. the movies suck ass.
1:19:33 i'm talking about like the haunting with catherine zeta jones and shit like that, you know, the bone collector and stuff like that. crazy vibe, man. i don't know if kids these days still get that experience because they're probably literally watching obsession on plex as of like age seven or something so they can make a viral review on letterboxd, but either way, man.
1:19:56 i'm talking about fucking don't say a word, motherfucker. i'm talking about michael douglas, brittany murphy. you know what the fuck i'm talking about? do you prefer silence of the lambs or hannibal? would you take a shit for a billion dollars? silence of the lambs is like one of the best movies ever made. hannibal, you got ray liotta eating his own brain. like it's flanderized. i hate to say it about my goat ridley, okay? because he did do the last duel, but still. anyway, i'll send you over to my wife's stream.
1:20:26 i don't even want to say shay shay because when i was saying in a class, teacher was yelling at me. teacher was saying, boudoui, boudoui. the only way i could get fourth tone right was when i fucking got louder. shay shay. she was like, no, boudoui. and then she'd say more confidence when i go, shay shay. and then she'd be like, yes, that's very good. so i got a lot to learn. anyway, good night, y'all.
1:21:06 you know, suzy screw had a partner named sasha. sasha, dumper, dumper. i remember her number like the summer. it was her and suzy, yeah they threw a slumber. party but you could not call it that cause it was slumber. well it was more like spending night. three in the morning yawning dancing under street lights. we chillin' like a villain and feeling right. in the middle of the ghetto in the hood but in spite. all of the bull es. we're on our backs staring at the stars above. talking about what we're gonna be when we grow up.
1:21:33 i said what you wanna be she said alive it made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes i coulda died, time went on i got grown, rhyme got strong came back home, fine lil sasha was gone her momma said she was the dude that was treating her wrong i kept on singing my songs and hoping at a show that she would one day be standing in the front row two weeks later she got found in the back of a school with a needle in her arm, baby two months through sasha thumped her, it's like that though
1:22:02 i love who you are, love who you ain't. you're so anne frank. let's hit the attic and hide out for about two weeks. bruh!