shidler superman - Bits and Banter [06⧸05⧸2026]

Name: shidler superman - Bits and Banter [06⧸05⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-06-08
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "shidler superman - Bits and Banter [06⧸05⧸2026]" — 226 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-06-08

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0:00 am i loud as fuck or is this awesome? because i went through a crisis last night watching the vod and realizing, why am i so quiet? why am i so quiet? and then kate and kory are like normal volume. like when i watch my own vod to clip it, i have to crank up my volume. when i watch any other stream, i have to take my volume down to like 20, which makes me think i'm in the wrong to be clear. i think i'm in the wrong.
0:26 and now's live, they're throwing ass in the stands, i feel like monstro eliza sue. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
0:36 eliza suit, i don't have a titty for a face, a pussy for an elbow, an aspero. wait, wait, has anyone here seen the fucking substance? has anyone here seen the substance? we'll get a little place in harlem and we'll figure it out. i've been living without the substance since i was a child. anyone seen patrick tam's 1985 film nomad? i gotta think about what tomorrow's movie is gonna be on the bike, because the fact that
1:06 movie number 100 comes on a saturday is fucking awesome, man. because it means i don't necessarily have to watch a 90 minute long movie. and then like immediately when i said this in the discord everybody said, well you should watch ran. it's three hours and 47 minutes long. and i said, okay, let's not do that. not that i don't think it's a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination, but i don't really want to be like,
1:33 let's watch a movie that makes me feel like i don't need to watch any other movies for the rest of the year. i kind of want to keep my momentum up a little bit. police story without subtitles. i'm sorry to inform you, that is in guang... guang... that is in guangdong hua. that's in guangdong hua. it is not in putonghua.
1:56 when did you start speaking mandarin? two and a half weeks ago, i think. good progress. every time i speak chinese though, my teacher tells me i speak it englishly. she tells me i push the characters together and kind of like chain them as if like... she says when you speak chinese, it should feel like your mouth is a gun shooting bullets, which is hard for me to do. i have that kind of like...
2:25 british english like, oh, well, you don't we don't say directly what you mean. you have to speak around it. well, if that's what you like, i'm not specifically craving anything, so to speak. but if someone were to suggest a burrito bowl, i suppose i wouldn't have an aversion to it, right? like you got to bug in, just slowly, just push it over the line a little bit by little bit. and she's like, don't talk like that.
2:52 did your parents tell you what your name would have been if you were a girl? i don't think so. i do have to
3:01 my parents... because you learn more about your... it's interesting having a child which has made your parents into grandparents teaches you a lot about what your parents were like as parents. like stuff that i was not privy to because it happened when i was literally a baby. like i was there but i don't have any conscious memories of it. my brain was still like you know, pales legion after you played a defend on the first turn.
3:26 i was there with my family, seeing my original family, my parents, last weekend. and i remember my mom saying like, when you were born, when you're, well she was talking to my daughter, she was saying, when your daddy was born, we didn't know whether he was going to be a boy or a girl. we only found out when he was born. i was like, damn, he's really born in the damn stone age, right? it's kind of aura. i mean, i guess like it makes it pretty, it's a big day because you're like,
3:53 no ultrasounds? i think i just maybe had a tiny little baby dick or something like that. they were like, we don't know. could be a tiny little baby dick, could be a really big clitoris. we're not totally sure yet. we're gonna have to find out on the day of. balls would have given it away. i don't think the hydrocele is like, i don't think that's like a genetic thing. i think maybe like when i was skating, when i was learning to skate backwards at like age six,
4:22 i tore something in my abdomen and then a bunch of fluid like fell from my abdomen, through like a wormhole into my scrotum and started to swell my ball or something. i don't really know, can somebody tell me? considering i've had a hydroseal, i still don't really understand like the kinematics of it.
4:40 and adults can result from inflammation, infection, or direct injury to the scrotum. you think it's actually fucking possible? i mean me and my friends were kicking each other in the nuts all the time.
4:55 like from maybe like age seven to like the present day, you think it's possible someone kicked me in the nuts so hard that it gave me a hydroseal and i had to get surgery a few years later? you were getting sack tap, you play road hockey, catch a ball or a stick in the scrotum. you would get nut checked all the time.
5:16 is it a gen z thing not to hit each other in the nuts? yeah they're like, and i think it's good, they're like respecting each other's bodies a little bit more and like not, i don't know, like assaulting people as a joke. that being said, i'll be the bravest man in the world
5:32 it's funny to sack tap your friends when you're like 12 years old and it's also fucking funny when you get sack tapped. if you get sack tapped and you think that that's not okay, you're wrong. you should be going, oh, but also like laughing and being like fucking dickhead. you should be doing something like that, man. people wonder why women live longer than men. okay, but like it's not the sack taps. it's like actually
5:58 i mean, like on average, yeah, the dudes are kind of, i mean motorcycles is a big part of it, but i think we just have like worse hearts or whatever.
6:06 testosterone is like kind of swag but also is like negatively correlated with life expectancy. 50% of america's funniest home videos are just some guy getting hit in the balls. yeah i don't know if you've seen america's funniest home videos in like the last 10 years, they're still playing the same videos. i think they have like a fucking vault of old sony handycam tapes that people sent in in the 80s and the 90s. so you'll turn it on and it'll still be like, well i mean these are older episodes i guess from like the
6:36 early 2010s, but they've still got... they've still got old lost media, man. i love america's funniest home videos, man. the only... it's the original react content. the only thing i don't like is like... so when tom bergeron has to intro the clip of a dude getting hit in the balls, like he has to put a fine point on it, he's about to find out why they wear jocks.
7:04 he's about to find out why major league baseball players wear cups. ohhhhh! ball 2! give us today our daily dolls. i think this is the davinci code, man. and i've only seen the davinci code once, which is like half a time too many. i'm pretty sure that they're like under the louvre right now. and this is the davinci code. nope, not the davinci code. this is ryan gosling.
7:32 is this the fucking gray, man? don't fucking start with me, man. what a piece of shit. what a fucking piece of garbage. who is it? i was glazing somebody. well, i appreciate framed giving me the assist today. i was glazing somebody because i think they...
7:52 left a comment on a review of mine and i went to their profile and one of their reviews was of the gray man and they gave it like one star and i was like i can't be taking issue with this individual. this individual is a real motherfucker because every other review was like two and a half stars
8:12 two daddies and a baddie, right? because it has chris evans and ryan gosling and ana de armas in it. giving this a one star is the easiest path to honesty that you can have in the world of cinema. what a piece of shit, man. i know i am one movie away. brother, i print and scan. honestly, i have like ad block in my brain because i don't even see it anymore.
8:39 i don't even see it anymore. i am one movie away from a hundred. i don't know what i'm going to watch tomorrow, but i'll tell you one thing. it might be a hundred minutes long instead of 90. what european country did spain defeat in the 2010 world cup final? i actually should know this. that was waka waka, this time for africa. spain defeated portugal in like the quarters. did they defeat the netherlands?
9:06 that sounds right. dude, arian robin was doing crazy aura for bald guys back in 2010. the fact that i went bald like a year and a half before this world cup, that world cup saved me. gilbert chandler and peoria. yeah, that's from illinois. also could be the cast of... there's two peorias? there's several peorias? what the fuck?
9:39 was peoria a guy? is he in hamilton? is peoria in hamilton? he's on family guy. that's adele's eyes. i feel like that's... it's like zach braff but with a different jaw. i think it might be ian somerhalder. is that crazy? it's not... oh, it's dylan o'brien! from twinless? a sheriff's hat...
10:11 getting bigger and aliens peeing out of their fingers were recurring bits from this 2003 comedy. yeah, that's scary movie 3. by the way, when you guys were asking, i saw that one in the theaters of course, when you guys were asking me if i was gonna go see scary movie yesterday, you buried the lead. you did not tell me that the reviews had already come out.
10:33 i thought we were still living in a world like a quantum superposition where it could be good or it could be horrible. i didn't realize it had like a 31 on metacritic and the best review was a 58. that's not like a cool letterbox movie where it's like the average is 3.1 and it's all one and a half, some fives. like pretty much everybody was like, this is dog shit.
10:54 reviews are bad for all the scary movies though. yeah, but like scary movie one i bet retroactively probably could get to like a 61. like a 75 rotten tomatoes 61 metacritic seems on point for scary movie one for me. number one song on the billboard end of your hot 100 of 2006 this artist is most known for bad day. yeah, that's daniel powder man.
11:15 i'm not saying i'm always on the forefront of culture. i'm not saying i'm always on the leading edge. but my opinions on music have not changed that much since 2006. so imagine living in a world where you have to pretend that the song is good. because if you ever tell anybody that it sucks, which it does, they'll go, what do you mean? the most popular and most soulful song released in the last year? you hate fun? you hate fun? you hate feelings? what are you, some kind of emotionless robot?
11:44 that's why that joke on the office hit so good when michael breaks up with jan levinson gould and he just starts playing the james blunt song on itunes but then he's only playing the 60 seconds you get from the free preview. the song used to make me cry when i had my first girlfriend at the city of heroes when i was 10. that's innocent. all of my musical tastes, musical takes i should say, if you were a little kid when the song came out
12:13 you are innocent. because, and even if you still like it now because that shit gets like formed in your memory, you can't change it. there's actually like a physical structure in your brain that has been encoded for two decades ago that you can't adjust now. it's immutable. it's read only. they flipped the tab on the floppy disk. so that, you're innocent. but the fucking middle aged motherfuckers who bought the daniel powder albums and pushed it to number one on the billboard hot 200
12:39 i mean, there's nothing i can say that won't get me in trouble. let me put it that way. i mean, it has to be the substance disclosure ghost and striptease, but i don't know what the other ones are. demi moore movies, incubus, quatrain, bus, train, ship, car. okay. ending methods of transportation. well, i was thinking that it could be the nato phonetic alphabet, but i'm like, i'm pretty sure it's not like s for situationship. what the hell is a quatrain?
13:10 it's like a unit of prose or something. you ever just be talking and then somebody says, why'd you say that in iambic pentameter? i did think of it and i'm not sure if it's a joke or a bit. i did think of a character that could be funny which is like people always talk about oh there's like kids around the world who have learned english from streamers which is like obviously horrifying but
13:35 what if there was like a kid in the modern day who learned english just by reading shakespeare? so like he's like a unfrozen caveman from like the 1600s or something like that, like an encino man type situation. saying some shit like maiden perchance, may i have but a moat of flour or some shit like that while he's going out to the restaurant. don't hit me with the plus two roman numerals, man. erectile dysfunction, cardi b. why?
14:06 i understand this look. what's going on with the banana on the back though? you're right, this is also spelled wrong, i think. i still think cardi b clears. i think it's got... this one's tough for me because i feel like... i mean, we know it's one and a half million for erectile dysfunction. anniversary ideas strikes me as being
14:32 not that commonly googled by adults, but really commonly googled by like ninth graders who are approaching their one month anniversary with their high school girlfriend. so they're, and they are disproportionate online searchers i think on average. but do i still think that crosses one and a half million? gotta go, whoa shit.
15:00 when is mother's day should i mean this is one we just got to choose a date man? oh, no, actually, you know what it being on a sunday makes sense i'm gonna immediately walk back what i said, but this is gonna get googled a lot camila cabello. it's not 2019 so i have to feel like tie dolla sign is clear in those numbers. never mind it's a havana summer meghan trainor. i just i
15:26 if you got nothing nice to say then don't say it at all. i'm not really a big fan of her music. not really. maybe the rudest thing i've ever said because i could inspire a lot of malevolence. it just spills out of my mouth when i really get going but it just it doesn't inspire that to me. it just doesn't inspire me to say anything except it's not for me. the scott expedition cadbury chocolate bar. over 100 years old still
15:57 wrapped this bar of chocolate was taken from the why do they have the same penmanship as me kate? this is literally like gold if you look at like a your anniversary card the last card i got you. this is how i write. holy cow. i didn't realize i had a fucking very turn of the 20th century sort of penmanship and
16:19 you write like a guy in an escape room in a video game? i like to do all caps, but then also if there's something is a proper noun, make that cap bigger than the other capitals. it's confusing? no, the reason i do it is because it's not confusing. it's like unambiguous. i know some of you are writing in that fuck ass scholastic, like half print, half cursive.
16:42 where all of a sudden you're like making your brain do all the work because you're like i don't know i only know what the first two letters and the last two letters are but my brain can just fill in the gaps because i guess you didn't give a fuck about me i guess you just didn't give a fuck about me to write in or non ambiguous matter i still think it would be the chocolate bar man this is one of many it's a simple supply and command situation. i still think it clears. ah shit
17:09 monica lewinsky's lingerie reportedly wore during her affair with president clinton. why does this seem like some shit that you would buy at like jeffrey epstein's estate sale? like this is such a strange little memento from turn of the millennium american pop culture. like, i mean, now i bet, yeah, i bet you could get 50 racks for it. damn, they'd rather have the guinea pig suit of armor, i guess. fair enough. miles of the us canada border.
17:40 islands in the philippines, both are a lot. so i'm going to say that from bc to, well, i guess nova scotia, because the rest are maritime, it's probably 6,400 miles, roughly 10,000 kilometers. i think you can get a lot more islands than 6,000. the fermi estimate never fucking fails. there is no shot that
18:15 there's more than 7,500 mentions of the... i bet ring is said 1,200 times in lord of the rings. not even. feathers on a bald eagle. see, that's interesting. i mean, it looks... if i was to look at just your shoulder, i feel like i can see 40 feathers and your body is 20 times bigger than this. i go with feathers on... oh, shit! 7,000.
18:45 pages in all seven harry potter books? the first one is like 400 pages. then they got much thicker as time went on, but there's no they'd have to be a thousand each, so it's feathers on a bald eagle. steps in the washington monument? there's no sure i'm not trying to say anything by this, but if it took 4,000 steps to get to the washington monument,
19:10 a lot less motherfuckers will be taking pictures up there, okay? that's what i was thinking. maybe a thousand steps, that seems a little bit more reasonable. not too bad. top 16%. organic snack fuji apples, three pounds. okay, i can do this. i'll tell you why. fuji apples are, at my local grocery store, $3.99 canadian a pound. $3.99 times three would take you to 12. but then you have to put it in us dollars. it's like 1.4 right now. so we'll take it to $9.
19:42 and then you have to put the costco formula on it, which takes it down another like 20%. i think it's hard for me to imagine it's $6.99, but i could hit you with a $7.99. oh my god, what are they complaining about? four fucking... four... three... four... four forty nine?
20:06 you started talking like a klingon? i couldn't get the math to work in my head. it's 4.49 for three pounds of fuji apples? gala, those are gala prices, bro.
20:17 you got the apple heads in a tizzy. it's not my favorite apple, but it's pretty good. i haven't bought the cosmic crisps in a long time, man. because that shit is fucking elbows up on the apples at the very least. i'm 10 toes down on buying some shit they grow in bc, but they're always called like fucking like elation or something like that. and then you look it up and it's like, oh, it's a bla it's red delicious crossed with granny smith. and you're like, oh, motherfucker.
20:43 got me feeling as though my friend just said ryan beattie looks like jerma. ryan beattie, ryan beattie. i can't deny there's a certain german ness in there. if i saw them, i wouldn't be like, you guys look alike. but i would say they have some similarities for sure. no, no, i'm not thinking about present jerma. i'm thinking about jerma from the clip where he breaks out of the containment facility. but i still, i think,
21:13 i still think that one guy on the spurs is way more german. that guy is like german if he was seven foot one. what's his name? kelly olenick? you got to get the right picture because from some angles, he definitely has a little germanness to him and to some he does not. but
21:36 i mean, there's a little german in there for sure. he is literally, i think he's 7 foot 1. he's repping new age grills. is that really the pelicans jersey sponsors new age grills? that's so funny. i would have thought it would be like a bank or something. it's what is new age grills, man?
21:59 oh shit. seth jarvis does look like ludwig, okay? and i'm plus two ing you, but i'm also saying there's a lot of clips of me saying that seth jarvis looks like ludwig from like years ago, well probably like a year or two ago when i found out that seth jarvis looks like ludwig. but this is like black hair ludwig, 100%. and this isn't even the picture where they look the most alike.
22:27 i actually think that seth jarvis looks more like ludwig in full motion. like in an image still, the resemblance is lower. school photo background. dude, one year they should use the books in the background.
22:41 i've got so many school photos with the fake books behind me. oh, gary bettman, please, you fucking evil servant of satan, you motherfucking lord of the flies, prince of darkness motherfucker, just wanted something before you retire. can you have them take their photos with the book background? or the 90s lasers. or the 90s lasers. dude, i can do this. that's slovakia. oh, shit!
23:12 do you know how fucking hard that is to do? do you know how many countries look like that? holy shit. tap to redeem the tgif archive giveaway for you and three friends? nah, man. nah, you can pass double that and give it to the next guy, man. i know when motherfuckers pass on a new york times gift link and they post it in like a subreddit, they feel like al capone throwing turkeys out the back of the van. and you know what? i love him for it.
23:41 marjorie turner is suffocating in her marriage and her day to day life. an extramarital affair with a stranger seems to be the answer until her paramour has a fatal heart attack and turns out to be less of a stranger than she could have thought. movie is called oops, i fucked my uncle. sibling rivalry? wait, wait, wait a minute. my man.
24:15 max baron is a jewish advertising executive in his 20s who's still getting over the death of his wife. nora baker is a 40 something diner waitress who enjoys the wilder side of life. alright. really, the jewish is doing a lot of work in this one. max can't keep nora a secret from his jewish friends and upper crust associates forever. he was jewish. she was catholic. and yet they found... they found a way. white pal. damn!
24:46 going crazy on the poster, man. it looks like a patrick tam movie. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. steven seagal, 1990. is this song gonna take you to the bank? senator trent to the blood bank? he's a good cop in a bad mood. i forget what these are called.
25:16 hatcher crosses paths with the ferocious jamaican drug lord who vows that hatcher and his family are now... marked for death. marked for death. okay, this shit is taking me out, man. i didn't know steven seagal had that kind of fucking thigh gap. like the bro is... he was in good shape. he's not in good shape anymore. but he was in good shape.
25:48 could have done a little bit of lower body work. he's looking very lithe. you're absolutely he looks like he should be wearing like, you know, pantaloons or something. like this is crazy. he's got there's just nothing going on in the legs. it does look like he's wearing a pirate shirt. he looks like a damn buccaneer. i haven't seen that one. which one has a we're gonna find him and you can take that to the bank. i'm gonna take you to the bank, senator trent.
26:19 to the blood bank. that's it might be one of like a i don't know if afi has ever done top 100 quotes in movie history but that one is so good. money now and a lot more when i get in that office you can take that to the bank. i'm gonna take you to the bank senator trent to the blood bank. i forgot he whispered it. i'm gonna take you to the bank senator trent to the blood bank.
26:56 the greatest scene in all of cinema, kingdom of heaven. hey, this video's got 7.2 million views. i've seen kingdom of heaven, it's alright. i'll tell you, it does not have the greatest scene in all of cinema. that's insane. that's truly madness. do not watch this video. the greatest scene in cinema history is when jonah hill is getting ready to buy alcohol underage from the grocery store.
27:21 and then he goes, hope piggy can run when he sees the mall security guard and then the security guard picks up the broken bottle and then slices his throat with it and he goes, and then you find out that it's, it was all a dream. can i show you something? again, i don't use youtube so like much anyway. seeing what youtube is like now is kind of insane for a guy like me.
27:48 i wonder if you could find out what thumbnail has my mind just boggled right now. is there a thumbnail that has you wondering what the hell is going on at this one? yeah, man, it's storkiness live webcam in bad salzburg. what's going on with the top 10 most brutal things roman did from buried empires?
28:19 oh now i get, now i see he's got a pair of scissors. oh before i was, i thought there might be something crazy going on there. now that i see he's clearly just gonna be cutting this guy's testicles or penis off then. you think that would feel good on your hips? i honestly think it might feel good in a lot of places if he took the scissors away.
28:41 so people tell me anyway, i don't know i don't necessarily get it i can't imagine it but i mean i would be a fool to assume they're all lying. it doesn't really make sense that they would all be lying so obviously it must there must be some appeal to it.
28:56 we will not be watching enola holmes though and we have to get to swanky. burn gorman my goat. okay, burn gorman probably take that shit to pacific rim just i don't know and then maybe like rinko kikuchi and then you take that shit to like i don't know shoplifters for some reason. she's not i mean kumiko the treasure hunter cut me some fucking slack man.
29:20 and then nobuyuki katsuubi and i've done this to myself really. at this point i've done this to myself just because i wanted to prove that i knew who rinko kikuchi was. now we'll just sort of...oh... it's getting more japanese. wait, wait! they appear to go to london in this movie. there may be one british actor in this who could help us escape. you
29:51 don't call me insane for this. isn't this the dude, isn't this the bad guy from john wick 3? i think this is the bad guy from john wick 3 and he's just, he's aged a lot in this, in this selfie. this is not a selfie but john wick 3 doesn't look like it, doesn't look like it. it's good, okay, because here's, i was waiting for someone to fall into my trap and i'm sorry that you did it. there's a japanese les miserable, buddy.
30:24 you should be fucking freaking out that there's an english les miserables. that shit is fucking french, man. what do you mean? you think it's like somehow less of a pivot to go from french to english than to go from french to japanese? fair enough. you were supposed to like double down and then i was gonna fucking go off, man. i hadn't figured out what i was gonna say yet, but i was gonna go the fuck off. no, man, we can't be in these japanese movies where the people are wearing like
30:53 the robe at the premiere, that's so japanese. i can't get back to north american cinema through that. and japan does things differently than china for the most part. if we were in china, there's a chance that you'd be like, what the fuck is al pacino doing in this one? sometimes just for some status, they'll court a hollywood actor, but japan's got their own sort of... they can pull from their own crop, i guess.
31:20 alice in wonderland, dive, and what? you know what? i think this is one where we might have to go back to the start on this one. maybe not go to rinko kikuchi. and if you go to rinko kikuchi, don't go to kumiko the treasure hunter. and if you do, just take rinko kikuchi back. take the rinko way back. how about eren to eren? we'll go to eren eckhart. thank you for smoking.
31:47 has maria bello who's in the cooler with william h. macy who's in fargo with frances mcdormand who's in nomadland with swanky and now i'm feeling a little bit more confident about myself. we go out via david. now we're trying to get to oh dude bradley cooper to the hangover to ken jeong to k pop demon hunters to lee byung hun to no other choice. that was not bad at all man.
32:21 imagine you click it one day and swanky has another movie in her filmography. i mean that would really open up the swanky person. imagine getting to nomadland through swanky and then exiting via francis mcdormand. like that would literally be like a 45 second buff on every single run. if you could get a swanky route in and then francis out. if this game was named to hockey players i'd get 50%.
32:50 you can't name two hockey players. that's just like ignorance is one thing but being proud of it is crazy. they don't even have to be current. we're talking about like in the history of the nhl you can't name two nhl players. that's true there are two gretzkis. you're lucky if i can name one. i'm not lucky i don't give a fuck if you know anything about anything. i don't give a damn if you can tie your shoes. i just i don't think you should be like wearing it as a badge of honor.
33:17 i mean, if you just keep your eyes and ears open, you'll pick up a bunch of shit that gets stuck in your brain without even putting any effort in. i'm just surprised that you could be alive on this planet for like, what, at least like 20 years and not pick up two names. could have even said the... exactly! you could have said the two fellas from heated rivalry. we don't play that shit over here, man. okay, where's over here? if you're from north america or europe, i'm gonna freak out on you. if you're from south asia, i'll be like, fair play. fair play.
33:46 i'm in the uk, peter cech is literally playing hockey in like the fourth league in the uk right now so you do know one fucking hockey player you liar! who? peter cech the former chelsea keeper with the helmet with the... the tall motherfucker. i don't know soccer either so you don't know anything. i know sumo motherfucker.
34:13 i knew sumo at one point. i knew that there was a big controversy in japan because it wasn't like the best sumo wrestler was mongolian or something. a lot of old japanese people are like, what the fuck is happening to the game that i love? still is? good for him, honestly. good for him. they're actually almost all mongolian. i didn't know, man. name two nascar drivers. jeff gordon, jimmy johnson, dale earnhardt, dale earnhardt jr., kyle busch. i could probably get some more. if i'm being honest, i could probably get some more.
34:45 richard petty kevin harvick kevin harvick forgot about dick trickle to active drivers. you're fucking moving the goalposts i asked you for any nhl players in history and then now all of a sudden i fucking named i don't know what six nascar drivers and you're like oh active drivers kind of embarrassing honestly, you didn't even specify nhl yeah, you could have said jagami or yard man. he's still playing. i
35:17 name two curling players? bro, sandra schmerler and fucking kevin jones. boom. looking for this? no way? i fucking know shit. i don't watch curling but you keep your eyes open, take your eyes off your damn phone for five seconds, you'll be surprised! the mysteries and beauties of the world will open themselves to you. you'll be availed of such wondrous treasures of information.
35:43 i don't watch sports, fuck off. oh yeah? what was the name of matthew mercer's character on season 6 of dimension 20? do you mean his dwarven character or his elven mage? motherfucker. why can't i think of any other movies rosamund pike has been in? gone girl, die another day, and i care a lot, which i really should have put here.
36:04 and then aren't you in your oh shit it just came out you're in ladies first the baffling like sasha baron cohen. sasha i'm trying okay i'm try i am the last guy who's willing to publicly say i think borat is is still a classic and i bruno is not that bad bruno is still pretty good but please
36:28 please don't be dead. and rosamund, you should know better. you shouldn't have attached yourself to this vehicle. that's a disastrous situation. captain planet with don cheadle. bro, you can't be playing funny or die sketches here. jonah hex, i forgot. assassin's creed. assassin's creed made $100 million at the box office. oh, you remember your last blockbuster experience? honestly, i don't.
37:04 it actually might have been when i rented no country for old men though. in college my ex girlfriend lived like a block away from the last blockbuster in my, well the last blockbuster in downtown kingston at least, and i definitely rented no country for old men there. didn't work out then, so i didn't make my way to that blockbuster on purpose after that i think. the movie or her,
37:36 she did fall asleep during the movie. and she, i mean, she was sleepy, which is fine, but she missed a bonafide classic. i mean, i didn't say she fell asleep because the movie was boring. i'm just saying she did fall asleep during no country for old men. but let he who's without sin cast the first stone. it's a slow burn. i was locked the fuck in. never been much for napping anyway.
38:02 troll, a noun meaning a dwarf or giant in scandinavian folklore inhabiting caves or hills. never thought about it, but i suppose it could be a tiny monster or a big monster. there's not too many that could apply for either. i always think of troll as like big, greenish yellow monster with a club, but i guess it could be like a little like a gnomish type figure. that's an ogre.
38:34 i guess an ogre is very associated with a club. what if it would be a big troll? i guess a troll just grabs you with his fists and eats you. but they're both very brutish. they both use...they do crushing damage, let's put it that way. orcs do slicing damage. orcs carry a curved sword, perhaps a cutlass.
38:53 koto, a noun meaning a long japanese zither having 13 strings. japanese etymology traces word origin... okay, i went through a lot of... there's a journey of self discovery there.
39:06 lanceolate, a adjective meaning shaped like a lance head, specifically, tapering to a point at the apex and sometimes at the base. the term originates from late latin lanceolatus, a diminutive of latin lancia, lanceolate, a adjective meaning shaped like a lance head, specifically, tapering to a lanceolate y'all. like, i don't know, just felt right.
39:34 canada, a noun meaning the major dravidian language of karnataka, southern india. canada is a dravidian language named after the kannadaan. okay. heirloom, a noun meaning a piece of property. if it's c a n a d a, i'm gonna freak out. rafi's gonna disown me. sinuously, a adjective meaning of a serpentine or wavy form. with two n's, k a n n a d a.
40:00 no way sinuously isn't hard? bro, what are you talking about? the average, the median 40 year old adult in north america has no idea a. how to spell sinuously or b. what it means. i'm not saying it's un gettable, like delicasse is on a different level, but sinuously is crazy.
40:19 no one knows lancee a lid? listen, i don't hate you. i think it's the culture that's done us dirty here. but why is it that the only comment everybody has on anything is, oh, this thing that's in category a should be in category b? we have a severe case of widespread contagious engineering brain. the desire to constantly organize. opportunity should be an easy
40:43 one of these words are harder than opportunity. opportunity is not hard, but like i think what you're thinking is like every hard word should be fucking impossible. you need to, there's, it's the same with letterbox. there's gradations. not all five star movies are exactly alike. there's good five stars and there's better five stars. there's, there's bugging the gradient to this shit.
41:05 opportunity should be medium. yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. here's the thing, i'm going to give you some data. if you could perform an operation on the data and then send it on to the next guy, that would be great, okay? thirea is a hard word. i think if i had to say at the top of my head, i think it's d i a r r h e a. that's a tough one. also, what's crazy, it's easier to spell with a keyboard than it is to just spell it in your head, but it's your head that tells the fingers what to hit on the keyboard. that's crazy, right?
41:36 that's weird. luxembourgus sausage versus red wine and cola? red equal parts red wine and cola, what can i say? probably go with this. never mind. what's... i didn't even look at what the sausage is made of. i'm getting my ass beaten. okay, these both look like... they both look like something you make when you're hungry but too lazy to go to the grocery store. i mean, the gel... is it just the jelly biscuit base topped with sweet creamy filling and a vibrant jelly layer versus
42:11 it's kind of i don't know man i don't know all right follow your heart karoni from japan or this is just like fried cheese baked cheese squeaky cheese i mean listen i've had them they're okay it's kind of catnip for people who think that like
42:36 japanese convenience store should have michelin stars, but look at this man. look at this. look, no, no, no, no. look, actually, we're never voting for sprinkle sandwich by the way. i don't care if it wins. we're never voting for it. this is literally big way hot pot. so as good as this looks and it looks good as fuck. the ice jellyfish on top of everything is crazy, but i will vote for big way any day of the damn week.
43:04 i got three today, man. that's probably like four under the lowest score i've ever gotten in this game. and you know what the problem is? the problem is that i've had most of these foods, so i know the correct answer instead of imagining, instead of looking at where they're from and being like, i want to go there someday. so i'll vote for that one. motherfucker. bro, greatest canadian guests of all time. these are hawkins cheeses, bro.
43:33 a popular snack featuring crunchy curly corn based pieces coated in a flavorful cheese or chicken seasoning? fuck it, we still go canada. these are hawkins cheesies, man. ice cold. australia? what? they stole our whole shit flow for flow, man. these are cheesies. they're not twisties. these are different things. i got radicalized because someone in my discord told me that people instead of taking
44:03 fiber gummies they're trying to find a way to get the fiber without getting two grams of sugar and i don't get me wrong there's lots of ways to do that but to have that enter into the decision making process is crazy. i'm not saying gummies are the best way to do it i'll tell you gummies are actually the worst way to do it because it just i don't know it doesn't take as well in my intestines.
44:24 you should be doing the powder in my opinion, but just eat real food. i'm telling you, you'll reach a point where you understand how naive you were when you were youth. i could eat six salads a day, one fucking glass with the metamucil powder. it does a lot more. at this point, i really look at the fiber supplement is basically like medicine. you're basically, you think you're a doctor because you're saying drink some fluids and get some sleep. there's
44:51 some things when you add them to the body provoke a good response, let me put it that way. the best source of fiber is actual foods. that's why they're called supplements.
45:01 i love arguing. you just gotta like draw the terms of engagement first. they're called supplements. nobody out there is going like, i don't, i have 10 servings of metamucil a day so that like my whole diet is just ice cream. like nobody's doing that. you just, you eat normal food and then also before bed you go gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk. and then you go to the shit in the morning and it comes out like beautiful, man.
45:28 that's why they're called supplements. they're not called like fucking the foundation of your damn diet. why before bed? it takes like 10 hours for this shit to push its way out of your winding colon. the long and winding ass. you and me pooping turds out holding hands. the sun. no, they were roommates man. put the powder in a vanilla milkshake it makes it taste better. bro i can't be drinking.
46:00 of one vanilla milkshake a day. they're like a thousand calories each. that's truly crazy. that's insane in the other way. that's way too much. also, i don't have like a milkshake machine. i don't know how i would get a milkshake a day. that's really like a once every six months like be at the diner and be like, sure, i'll have a milkshake type situation. i'm not really making milkshakes in my own house. you have a blender?
46:30 all right, okay, well one problem solved. i don't have any milk. there we go. i mean, i think i'm missing basically everything that you would need to make a milkshake. and you're going to say, what about ice cream? i ate it all. it's all gone. you don't keep milk in the la casa? i mean, i like bread. i don't really care for milk.
46:52 i do feel like an unusual motherfucker when i look in the grocery carts of the people around me in the grocery store because i'm not, i guess i'm not like them. i'm not buying eight liters of milk and seven loaves of bread every time i go to the grocery store. you have one kid? yeah, but do you hate me because i have one kid and i should have zero or do you hate me because i have one kid and you have four? because like i wasn't really involved in the second decision. cheese fries with three cholula packets versus large cheese fry.
47:20 i think they could both be all right, man. give me the large cheese fry that i can dip myself. vegan pizza versus homemade pear pizza. i'm very pro vegan. i'm very anti vegan cheese. so i do believe that this is probably going to be really bad. this needs some... it needs a little love and care.
47:47 because it's just too... the eye doesn't know what to look at. i think if i'm being honest, i think i would rather eat this, but i think this clears because there was some effort put into it at least. absolutely unbelievably bad poutine because there's no gravy or curds versus... i don't even know what it is. it's like...
48:18 like a gateau? where's like a lime gateau? i guess the fries look pretty good. i'm just they didn't put any of the other ingredients on it. breakfast. breakfast looks pretty good versus french toast sticks. actually it looks really good as well. give me the french toast sticks. oh my god it went 92 to 7. i was i thought it was going to be like 52 48. grilled cheese with extra glitter or the grimace burger. grilled cheese with extra glitter versus
48:49 i'm gonna say that the average person doesn't want to eat glitter. takis and milk or boiled pork feet? it's gotta be the feet, man. i don't... the takis and milk is crazy. i think they both look really good but i'd rather have the meatballs. this is the easiest 10 out of 10s i've ever seen, man. maybe we should do gamble doll. gamble doll? play game doll? guess the video game? no, no, no. we won't be doing that.
49:21 gamdol. gam b dol. today's modifier is the river monster. hold them, the river card is revealed before you bet. that seems really good. oh shit. try not to lose all your chips, you need them for the next two games. yeah but i want to be like top of the leaderboard as well. give me 500. 17. oh shit, i stand? motherfuckers! i was doomed from the start.
49:56 okay, well you know clear it give me 250 you have to hit on that stand on 18 we're so fucking back. okay. give me 500. it's fucking huge uh split me let's go to the moon oh 16 versus uh, we stand we have to stand on that versus 16 and they yes, yes, we made it back i'm in for a thousand
50:38 i'll raise you. they beat me and i'm out of money. they beat me and i'm out of money. game over. i'll borrow 50 chips deducted from tomorrow's starting stack. that's saturday's problem, bro. i'm all in. oh, this is a huge flush opportunity for us. nevermind y'all. i'll raise you. we win those and i got 67 chips. you see that shit? i'm all in.
51:14 motherfucker, man. oh, i'm raising you! oh! two pair queens and 8s versus queens and 8s. wait, we tie. okay. roulette? i mean, there's only one way back, man. i got 67 on 7. let him go. 35, should have known.
51:57 this is a great graph for why you should never gamble. look at the distribution.
52:04 guess if the reddit poster is the asshole. one of my friends loves to spoil shows. am i the asshole for lying about watching a show? why? who knows. one day i was sick of things being ruined for me so i spoke to my friend about it, they apologized and said they promised they won't do it again. skip ahead, they asked if i'd see next show. i said yes but can they please not say anything as i don't want to be spoiled. not even two minutes later they started saying major spoilers. when i called them out on it they just laughed.
52:29 i snapped and said i don't actually watch the show. okay, obviously you're not the asshole. it's like a thousand percent not the asshole. nobody, you're the asshole. my son is almost 13. we've always had an affectionate relationship. lots of hugs and i loves you. i love yous. my husband is older than i am. okay, your husband's older than you are. you're not the asshole. your husband's the asshole. obviously,
52:57 me29f and my ex john33male divorced last year because of infidelity. you are not the... never mind. that's okay. i thought you should have read the whole thing. i thought i could default to the reddit heuristic. let me see. my brother mark is good friends with john and they remain friends. so mark is getting married later this year. i found out john's invited. i asked mark why he invited john knowing i'm going to be there. mark said john's his friend and he'll be invited. i got upset and told mark he's picking a friend over his own sister.
53:29 mark said i was acting entitled. yeah, okay, you're the asshole. you're the asshole. my bad, y'all. my bad on that last one. i was using my jump to conclusions, matt. check this out. there's a lot of good daily games out there, man. enclosed horse is good. yeah, we already crashed out of that one. silence engineer, this is an english major chat. 10 minutes? what the hell are you supposed to do for 10 minutes, man? am i finally gonna play that
53:54 enclose the horse still or is that the thing where like, there's like a rule of thumb in stream, the more people suggest something, the more it probably actually sucks. but guys, i have no idea what i'm doing here. you got to place blocks and close the horse bro. make the largest enclosure possible. am i stupid? like, okay, you only get 10 walls. all right. all right.
54:22 now i get you only get 10 walls. so obviously one's gonna go here and here. one there one there. what's going on with the fucking cherries though, bro? cherries are a plus three bonus. oh, i can already this is an engineer game. i can already tell.
54:39 because in my head, i was like, i can see that i'm on the first order thinking where you just block the paths, but i'm seeing the way that it changes over time, which is like you use two blocks to block this path. but instead, if you actually block off like six other paths, then this path will automatically be locked. this is not going to happen. this is an engineer game and that's fine.
55:01 credit credit to the engineers, but this is an engineer game. that's fine. it's a shape rotator game. i'm not like i'm more like a trivia based gamer. meta zool. i kind of hate it because there's too many animals on earth. there's way too many animals on planet earth for me to know them. and also nobody what knows what the hell an ungulate is when it's all it's in family ungulate. i'm like, okay, bro. was that gomez morticia pugsley wednesday fester, grandma, cousin it
55:28 i have a degree in biology but the scientists won't take me so i need to go sit at the humanities lunch table. we welcome you. you're gonna kick me out of the humanities lunch table. i'm gonna cross a line at some point. we're gonna have an argument and i'm gonna be like, why are your two favorite movies portrait of a lady on fire and the twice concert documentary? and then you're gonna be like, get the fuck out of here. i'm gonna be like, i'm gonna say something i regret 100%.
56:06 they're gonna be like, go sit with the scientists. i can't talk about interstellar anymore! please don't make me go sit with the scientists. oh my god, please let me go. this the stats on this are gonna be fucked because i know a lot of you guys take yourselves very seriously. you're gonna be like, uh uh, my time is worth more than this. nah, sorry guys. uh, i've got work to do. life's too damn short. motherfucker.
56:34 golf needs to get yeeted, it sucks. it's actually really fun. and honestly, no disrespect, i owe you everything. but if you guys controlled the dolls, it would literally just be flags and maps. trust me, i get it more than the average person out of doors. but it's nice to have a little bit of variety in here. that sounds awesome. yeah, you can do that yourself. it's called an atlas. someone just scored 69, good for them, man.
57:18 i swear i adjusted it, man. please, please. 18th century male artists. british erotic artists? okay, i was gonna say how horny could he be if he's british, but that... he looks like he's got a certain... his pleasures are unorthodox. 1954 births who have the republic of china navy sailors who are taiwanese buddhists? bro.
58:09 this is wong kar wai. this is ang lee. this is like his face when i say mr. kar wai, nice to meet you. i guess i say mr. wong. oh, i'm such a huge fan of your film, chungking express and in the mood for love. and billy lynn's long halftime walk. 18th century deaths from tuberculosis. creators of temperature scales. that's kelvin, bro. you scored three, brother.
59:03 kelvin's british. that's actually it makes it a really good bet for catfishing which is a british game. 1972 oh also i need to go slash marker bando so we don't put it in the pot and get demonetized on youtube today.
59:40 oh, wait, wait, there's something there. it's a fucking wall of sound, man.
1:00:21 ah, wait, okay, starman. it's so loud, holy cow. is it deafening for everybody else? every track is pushed up all the way.
1:00:47 it's how the songs sound at the habs home games, man. so sorry, if you hear like a weird screaming noise coming out of my mic at all. that's not a person. it's not a person. that's your coffee? yeah. i don't know. i got a 7 eleven coffee and as i'm drinking it, it's like, it's like hissing. i don't know why. i'm gonna be the damn weak link here, man. you guys, i've done like ascension like three.
1:01:18 let's see what it is. ascension five. ascension three, oh you start with 200 hp and they suck your cock for you. i mean, yeah. i got ribs on the smoker right now. damn. is that one of those foods that takes like 28 hours to cook? six, six is like seven. i think too bad. yeah, that's like an actual smoker. still doing my shit.
1:01:44 i was trying to pick up my phone to look at the smoker. it's i'm in the digital age where you got a picture of kory on that thing. hey, somebody stop this guy. i'm love bombing you. i'm love bombing you right now.
1:02:10 do you guys ever get the feeling like in your brain and your body that if you don't drink a dr. pepper zero in like the next hour that you're gonna die? i haven't had that happen. i haven't had a soda in
1:02:28 like ages. i'll say i hadn't had a soda in ages, but i had to i had to go try a dirty baja blast. cause like i had to. they can't tell me that exists and that i don't ever have it. is it like they used tequila? i think they just put like milk in it or something. it's not alcoholic, it's just dirty?
1:02:52 yeah, it's just dirty. i'm out like milk is kind of insane. it's like a vanilla cream or some shit like that. but it was like, it was whatever. kind of sounds like what they were drinking in menari but i'm back on my bullshit. yeah. you would love menari it's directed by the guy who directed twisters.
1:03:15 oh, i did like twisters. they made it about your life. because you also saw twins the first time you went storm chasing. no, we should have saw twins, but we fucking whiffed. so the story goes that we saw the tornado, filmed it, and because it was dropped, it dropped as like a single tornado at the start, and then it lifted and we were like in front of it. so it was coming towards us. so we're like, we got to get out of here. so when it lifted, we were like, ok, well, let's lift it. let's spin. let's use this time to go and get out ahead of it so that we're not in its path.
1:03:44 and then in that time when we jumped into the car the twins dropped that's why you need like a glenn powell type the yeah, when everyone's like we should go get to the next tornado he's got to like lick his finger and then put it up out the car window and be like nah just wait a minute. i didn't really i didn't consider twins being like a tornado term mm hmm at first i was like i
1:04:08 like the danny devito arnold movie? i was like, that can't be, that'd be ridiculous for me saying that. and i was like, i guess he was supposed to see like actual twins. like a pair of hot ladies or something. i don't know. yeah. they kind of like pranked the hell out of me though. cause i was like so into the storm chasing and i was like, oh hell yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna go again. so i was like, you know what? uh, the mazda ain't gonna cut it. so let's get a, let's get a new car for the next storm chasing stream. like i got a new car.
1:04:37 and then they were like, they being i guess god being like, let's take all the weather and get rid of it. and there'll be no storms for like a month. climate change. so you want there to be more climactic weather events. yeah, more destruction. like the field. our nation's next great superhero could be out there right now and you wanna threaten their lives with something like that.
1:05:02 my and paul kent could be those backwards yokels could be raising the next day a figure of americana right now and you want to cut that short. god. all i know that the first tornado we saw of our whole career was in the city of schindler. and now i'll take that to the grave. the schindler tornado. it is good. yeah, that's that's fantastic. and you want you want it to be wiped off the map.
1:05:29 mean it basically already is look it up. it's barely on the map man a stiff breeze and knock that shit over you got the world cup in where you where you're living apollo i have no clue maybe you have the world cup where you're living well cuz they like 24 cities this year or something like that oh there's a definitely somewhere in texas probably it's probably dallas man. it's they usually go to dallas oh
1:05:57 i thought they would just there's like there's multiple world cups this year they made me out they wanted to spread it out to make it fair to the whole continent so they picked like 20 different cities
1:06:07 in north america in canada the us and mexico and they're having the final in the beautiful football stadium metlife in east rutherford, new jersey so all the soccer players are gonna learn what it's like to not have their players not have knees that wonderful cathedral of football yeah, yeah give me an after image. it's gonna be this piece right here
1:06:37 oh, that's nice ends. shiv nye the cutting guy. and then the background was yo, have you guys heard the bill nye the science guy but in chinese?
1:06:47 no. it's, i know people hate when you recommend a video. this is like a 12 second video that is so good. in the background they're just going, they're looking like, beer nye, some tom tom tom, beer nye, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer. they just keep saying beer over and over. it's so good. i hear that man. yeah, that's great. beer, beer, beer, beer. are you watching it? are you watching it? no, no, i'm just saying it.
1:07:18 yeah, i'll open external link i'm opening from vip daniel he hasn't been fished recently on discord that's awesome beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer
1:07:48 can i do it can i do a phone anecdote since i just got a new phone yeah, please i saw that historical they basically have completely designed phones now entirely to that you're now forced to get a cover like you don't have a choice or like a case because it's just the camera the cameras stick out so much that when i put my phone down it's just like at like a five degree angle sticking up and
1:08:13 it's millennial coded. my only anecdote about phone cases is when i bought a phone case at best buy, they asked me if i wanted insurance on the case, which is like, i still think that it's like a larry david type of it. like they were trolling a little. yeah, i'm due for a new phone. i was thinking about getting like a gamer phone because they have fans on them just because i need a phone that won't overheat if i leave the camera on for like an hour, you know?
1:08:35 but i don't want to be the guy walking around with a gamer phone. what even is a gamer phone? i know a zeus makes one, i think, where it's just it's just a real thick phone. don't be saying a zeus man. come on. that's how it's said. trying to call the god zeus. i can smith again. i meant to tell you, i first off, i'm dying. two reasons. one is i had like a clicking in my ear and kate has like this earwax removal tool with a camera on it.
1:09:00 she took out a ball of earwax that was bigger than the diameter of my ear canal and was dark brown. and then as soon as she took it out, my ears started like gushing blood, like the elevators and the shining. so i'd like stuffed a bunch of like kleenex in it and like laid on my side for a while. but otherwise i feel fine. but then also i had to take a poop so bad yesterday. i sat down on the toilet and i pooped out a turd and i looked at the turd and it was the exact shape of a w.
1:09:29 it came it like hit a bend in the in the colon or something it came out like like a fucking w was it like cursive like the washington nationals? it was like like what like wario it was like a wario w like 30 degree angles on all the corners i thought curved poop was a good thing.
1:09:53 am i crazy? i could have sworn i heard that at some point in my life. sounds like a good metric for if you're like, poops, good. isn't that a thing? i just don't know what to say. someone shut this guy up, man. maybe i dreamt it. dude, it feels so good to go to 7 eleven in the morning and fill up a cup of coffee and everyone's looking at you like, this guy's going to work. it feels so nice. god, on the other, ryan, what would you do with 10 pints of blueberries? holy shit.
1:10:27 it's my identity right now. i joined a, so i joined a csa. right, okay. community shared agriculture. they fucked up a week for me, so they gave me double this week. and it turns out this week was like five pints of blueberries. so i got ten pints of blueberries. they know that that's not how food works, right? you're not like, it's not like you ate nothing last week, so you're gonna eat twice as much this week.
1:10:52 i mean, it's i don't want to sound like i'm getting too i don't want to be too pissy about it. but so i missed the thing because i had a thing with sips. so i missed picking up my my share and i email them like, hey, like, i'm sorry, like i missed the farmer's market. can i pick it up any other day? and they're like, yeah, pick a market. so i picked one that was pretty far away. they're like, yeah, come sunday. i drive the like 30, 40 minutes there on sunday park walk up and they're like, yeah, we don't have an order.
1:11:19 they're like, did they tell you like through email you could do that? i was like, yeah and they were like, yeah, they're not good with that well, what do we do here and they were like i'll just email them again so you want me to eat you want me to do the thing? you said they're not good at okay that works. oh vulnerable is twice as effective against the enemy the tent the tent learn no 10 they'll never escape my wrath now i
1:11:49 i like the pant, i think i'm gonna take the pantograph. give meal ticket for two relics on the last node? damn. and it's pantograph. i'm giving vambrace for two relics. it's only the first card each combat. i got a vajra and an eternal feather, i'll take it. i made the greatest trade of all time. the meal stink! oh my god. he always scares me, man, cuz i feel like i got hacked.
1:12:19 he's always calling in. that was dan calling in from his car to say he's not happy with the direction of the new york giants. i've got a great idea for a drink. okay. so you drink your coffee out of like a glass and then when there's like 10% of the coffee left. oh, this is for me right now. you're talking to me. you pour
1:12:44 dr. pepper zero on top of the coffee. what the fuck? and then when you've got 10% of that left you pour another dr. pepper zero on top of it and you just keep
1:12:56 you just keep extending the coffee. no, you don't. did you just make like a coffee super test? like, you just keep that's crazy, man. and like every single one is like 90% less caffeinated. so it's not like you're not going to be able to sleep. that sounds crazy. dr. pepper and coffee. they're the same flavor profile for you a little bit. they got a they're both dark.
1:13:26 that'll do it, yeah. no, i can't argue with that. you guys are really making me want to up my steam name game. it's pretty lackluster right now. it's a counter strike type development. yeah. i guess. yeah, no, that fits. i'm still really hooked on tiny man normal gun. it's really good. i really love the steam icon. the icon ties it all together. oh, i haven't seen the icon, i think. oh, you gotta see the icon.
1:13:50 i like mine because it really baits out the slurweavers. it's really good, right? as advertised. yeah, yeah. why'd you say a follow? i said i like mine because it baits out the slurweavers super hard. i until i first off, can you guys get all these orbs off the fucking screen? that's so cluttered. i didn't realize, and this was naive of me, how much like anti fur
1:14:19 hate there is out there. there's a lot, but there's like a lot extra on counter strike. i think that's just kind of... people are primed to like, you know, be mad at everyone in counter strike for sure. but i was like, yeah, i just couldn't believe it the first, i don't know, eight times i heard it. i was like, i thought maybe there was just like two guys who were like, for some reason it really offended them. but i feel like most normal people have dropped it. but yeah, i feel like a special place.
1:14:50 i can't i want to tell you the sentence i was gonna say and then stop in my tracks i was gonna say the furtum has been quite demystified
1:15:03 that was my hat to you. oh my god. and also, as i understand it, they're like keeping the earth moving like in all their they occupy the highest offices in like every important institution on earth.
1:15:30 i'm not saying don't fucking say i said they run the banks. that's not what i said. that is not what i fucking said, okay? oh god. furries really operate on a spectrum of uh well not really a spectrum, it's more of a binary like zero or one as in like the most unemployed or the most employed. like there's really no in between in that in that regard. yeah this is also just not worth
1:16:01 this is kind of a bad encounter here, man. shit. i'm gonna take the lens. and nimble, and quick, and nimble. finished the whole fucking glass like an asshole. now i can't do my fucking drink. you can't do this. you're a new life hack. fuck. you're fucked. motherfucker. and my ear was fucking bleeding yesterday. you know what's crazy? is that any other medical thing you google, they say, go to the doctor immediately.
1:16:31 um, no matter what, no matter how mundane. when my ears started bleeding, i googled like ear bleeding profusely and they were like, don't worry about it. just uh, like if it continues for like four hours, then go to the doctor. it's like, it's the only thing. they gave me the viagra rule.
1:16:58 what's what's with colin corey the smoker? at one point in his life he had like a cigar phase i think it might have legitimately been like 20 years ago and the joke has then just become like that. he loves to smoke like
1:17:20 for example, maybe you throw a smoke grenade in counter strike and then corey goes, oh, that's a bad smoke. then you go, okay, i bet it's the first time you've ever said that. yeah, that's good. that's really good. i love that. have y'all ever smoked a cigar?
1:17:39 yeah, it's been a long time. what the heck? i'm the only one i also have not smoked a spray. really? i just assumed everyone has smoked a cigar at some point. why do you assume that? i don't know. what a strange thing to assume. i don't know why. i mean i think it sucks if it makes you feel any better. i've heard it sucks. yeah, no, i've heard very bad things about it. like people say it's really unpleasant.
1:18:04 this is reddit link robot lands a brutal kick on child's stomach. have you not seen that? can i can i uh can i get that bone potion? that's a real it's a really it's a really funny not saying that it's cool for like a child to get kicked but if it's gonna if it's gonna if a child's gonna get kicked it should be by a robot dressed like a clown.
1:18:27 i think they said brutal kick like it's uh like joe rogan comms during ufc. yeah. oh damn!
1:18:49 it's so funny that all the like either ai fucking up or like ai being funny as fuck all come from china. did you see the michael jackson robot? yes, i did. oh, that shit was great. i love that the chinese populace no sells the robot fuck ups every single time. like they do not care at all.
1:19:17 like the asamo one where asamo falls down the stairs, everyone's like, oh my god. and they come out with like the privacy shades to like give asamo some dignity. in china, they do not care. they're like, oh, another one down. and that kick was kind of brutal because like there's not a lot of like kickback on it. so he took all of that, like centered in that area. you know that it's got to hurt. if he had like gotten knocked over or something to be one thing. but now he just he's tanked it.
1:19:47 there are a lot of funny robot fuck ups. i feel like there was one i saw where there was like a robot server and it just like fucking crashes a bunch of bottles and glasses. and it's so funny because the robots don't know that they're fucking up. i was trying to think about how to say it, but they show no distress.
1:20:08 up to the exact moment of catastrophic failure. i wonder if it would be as funny if a human took that attitude toward it, if someone was doing like some chevy chase shit with 30 glasses and just like nonchalant about it the whole time. just dudes being bros. i mean, just like riding around, they're just sitting there in silence, just enjoying each other's company in the beautiful surroundings. that's so nice. it's kind of a fucking vibe, man. it is. five feet apart because they're not gay? exactly.
1:20:34 i feed a pond because they're not gay. even that heterosexual space. cock in my jeans because i'm not gay. god. heterosexual space reminded me of the warcraft 3 arcade game, escape from gay space. and it was just a maze and if you failed the maze it would say, you are gay.
1:20:57 yeah, real huge minds at work back then. oh shit.
1:21:13 there's a hot pot chain here called big way where you get like an individual bowl of hot pot broth of your choice with all the ingredients you added yourself. i've been having it like two times a week for a month and a half. i'm like, that sounds so nice. what do you what do you put in your hot pot? oh, well, i got a system now because i mean, obviously it's pay by weight. so you got to be a little careful. oh, i usually put in like a couple of the beef balls and then like a lot of the
1:21:43 shank i don't know what it's like beef roll just like little strips of beef and then a staggering amount of cabbage it soaks up the brats i'm a big fan of like yam yam and i've never done this crazy maybe next time it's real nice what do you get for broth
1:22:05 i think it's called like bone butter, which is the crazy. okay but it's just like a slightly spicy like beef stock i call i call a lube uh my bone butter. yes, sir i call lube my bone butter. i gotta leave my bone buddy. what the hell up? also, what are your mushrooms they go crazy in hot pot
1:22:33 i don't know if you're a big mushroom guy in a hot pot. i'm not but i'm getting there. i am getting mobbed. i'm sorry. i thought i was a hot pot like a wizard. it turned out i didn't realize i was dealing with a real master here.
1:22:46 i'm just like, i get beef and cabbage. i get beef and cabbage and then i put noodles in it. i say, yeah, i think you might have the most basic. they ask what broth and i'm literally like, i'll take number one medium, like a fucking idiot. does anyone need energy? i think realizing that like the mushroom that we're introduced to is actually one of the worst mushrooms and almost every mushroom is better than a white button mushroom.
1:23:15 yeah, like all of them. it's crazy. it's like the red delicious of mushrooms. it really is. it's not wrong. i also have a frog in my throat. that's a bubble man. you became a different person. that was a different guy. you got here. you all want three extra energy? we all just got toxic, so yes. i might have to get some boba tea and take a piss. not in that order, but... i do have to piss. that is how it goes, man. had like six dr. coffees already today. dr. coffees.
1:23:44 my basic bitch for saying that the regular default boba tea is just the best like what is default though? cuz the menu has like 500 it's black like tea with brown sugar and tapioca pearls and milk. i think it's our tea just kate's on the taro grinds for sure. it's so good i had taro once and i liked it, but i just something about the regular man. can i hit you guys with something crazy? oh
1:24:10 yeah. had a resub message. i think it was two streams ago. 136 month resub. it's getting up there, man. so it's like 13 years. peeped the chat history. seven messages. incredible. and the other thing that's crazy is that i know who they are. that's aether games. aether games been leaving comments on geoguessr videos since like 2012.
1:24:39 it is kind of fucked to be in an industry where like your peers are starting to retire. i don't know why they're so eager to get out man. yeah, i'm kind of with you. i've seen it out there. they're missing out. sometimes, you know, get on my last nerve. don't get me wrong. it is crazy to consider retiring. i don't think i'm ever retiring.
1:25:09 i like i don't know how to say this without sounding kind of shitty but i kind of feel like i've been retired for a while like this this sort of seems like the end goal for retirement is to be just doing this shit anyway. that's fair. cool. i'm smithin who is this all the damn test subject the motherfucking test subject does he gain strength off of any of our skills? what does he what make goes him strength again playing a skill gives him two strengths? oh
1:25:35 so we just before you dump every card in your hand just wait phase two and phase three you can do whatever you want, but phase one but don't just dump all your skills until we talk it through it's looking like some shit you would eat in like a zombie movie. sure. you know, this is like a plate of something. all right, i
1:25:57 i have to play a skill. yeah, i might have to play a skill. i have to play the rest of my hands. yeah. yeah, it's got to be done. well, i have to play a skill now to be able to block all the damage. okay. okay, but i got to play a skill to stop this first. i'm dumb. i can bear. i can give you. i can give you a bunch of block.
1:26:18 i did just, i'm usually not one to relay a message but i had a resub that said please ask ryan why he says mascarpone like masky pony. it's mascarpone! it's mascarpone cheese!
1:26:33 have we considered coffee pepper instead of dr. coffee? it has to be dr. coffee because it's the i can say that in mandarin. so that's a big market for caffeinated beverages. well, now you have to do it. that would be yixiang coffee. okay. yixiang coffee. i'll play status card. see if i care. hi, jourbs. oh, wow. oh, my god.
1:27:02 good job, good job. that was a good one man. that was a good one. solid man. quick, quick piss break. it's time to piss. piss break and one more. here's something that's really funny for you guys. i was looking at my samsung health app while i was pissing and it said, it said, it was like, was this your correct sleep time yesterday? and it was 1215 to 1 46 pm. and i went, no.
1:27:31 and then it's like, here's your biometrics. i guess like my heart rate got so low at the end of yesterday's stream, they just thought i fell asleep. i was crazy. i was here, man. i was working. there's video evidence. they just thought i guess they thought i just kind of nodded off for a bit. i used energy stream.
1:27:56 the game was all right. i had it. okay. okay time. i can't believe how much energy this guy has when he streams. it's crazy. meanwhile, are you dying?
1:28:09 i can't get a pulse. it did send and i was feeling bad this day. don't get me wrong, but i did get like my watch vibrated and it said low heart rate warning. and it was like my heart rate dipped to 44 or something like that. it was not a good 44. it was like a distress 44. it was during a sponsoring stream, too. i was like, i just got a.
1:28:32 just tank it. stop saying you should log off and go for a walk. i'm literally, i'm done streaming in like 42 minutes or something like that. what the? something's wrong. i just looked at my watch for the bit. why is my heart rate 48? oh, hey, wait, wait. i was playing poker with
1:28:50 my dad and a few of his buddies last night and i got myself a royal flush for the first time ever in my life. yeah, there's like a once in a lifetime if you're lucky sort of thing. yeah, i don't think it'll ever happen again. it felt pretty cool. i remember getting i got a royal flush on like a little handheld digital poker when i was a kid and like lost my mind. that's crazy. i think i've only ever gotten like four of a kind at one time. did you win?
1:29:16 i think i had the 10 queen and then the flop came up, jack king. and then the very last card was an ace. and i was just, i had to just sit there quietly until the time reveal came. and then i was very excited. holy. you guys played a game toll yet? the dull where you play three hands of blackjack, two hands of poker, and then one spin of a roulette wheel and try to get a high score. oh my god. that sounds amazing though. yeah. i got zero today.
1:29:45 along with about 70% of the of the people who played it because like the temptation to go all in on one roulette number is just so high. yeah yeah today today's was imbalanced it favored the dealer for sure and
1:30:07 guess i could go see scary movie six. yeah as my one you could there you go no, i got fucked up cuz i hadn't seen the trailer for it and people were like are you gonna go see it? and i was like, yeah, i'd love it maybe they actually did a good job and then people were like the first joke in the trailer is like a pronouns joke and i went well
1:30:23 i didn't know that. bro, the fuck? i saw a news article that was like marlon wayans was talking to his dad on his deathbed and he's like, i just need you to work with your brother one more time. and he's like, can do dad, we'll do it. is that actually true? the movie six is for his dying slash dead father. and this is no word of a lie. that's so crazy.
1:30:44 so i told my dad, i don't think i could do it. he goes, come on, son, for me. i said, all right, for you. he said, you promise? i said, i promise. did you see the goafkin scary movie joke draft?
1:30:54 oh no, that's such a great idea. that sounds like a great plot. it turns out they really, they did the problem of actually making jokes because now that the movie like screeners are out and stuff, it turns out they should have fought way dumber. oh, so they weren't drafting jokes that were in the previous scary movies. they were coming up with jokes that would be in the new scary movie. yes. yeah. and if any of them hit, they get like a reward.
1:31:23 yes, yes. because i was going to say like pack one pick one you're taking what's up. oh yeah, they got out. i had to think about what's the second best joke and scary movie if i really like when the in scary movie too when like the house is haunted and the weed plant comes to life and rolls shorty up in a joint and smokes him and then
1:31:52 they come in to save shorty and then he goes like, not yet cindy, i'm high as a motherfucker. i think that one is really good. that's quintessential scary movie right there, absolutely. can i read an excerpt from the new scary movie? please.
1:32:17 this is from a review someone made of it. there's a lazy bizarre sequence that takes on k pop demon hunters with a jolt of animation and the song golden. the original lyrics are we're gonna gonna be golden and it has become we're about to be token and ends up with a character in bed with the demon hunters.
1:32:36 i'd probably shorty if i had the gas. you got that to look forward to. probably shorty. i just don't see how it could be bad. i mean, you really think lachlan monroe would come out of retirement to to make a bad movie? then i'll be going to be token. i might laugh at that, to be honest. there's there's a chance i might laugh at that. i think you'll have a good hearty chuckle with it. damn. you there's a
1:33:04 hocktua might be in it, man. that's a good point. i'd be shocked if it wasn't. i meant the person known as hocktua. no, that's exactly what i was thinking. yeah, no, like she's probably in it. she's not dead. she's just tired. she's sleeping. she's sleepy. i'll take the pale's blood. i think this might be a pale's eye situation.
1:33:31 that's never happened before, but between pale's eye and fiendfire i could exhaust my whole deck, man. pale's eye fucks up multiplayer if you're not on beta branch. alright, i'll take pale's tears, y'all. it actually works fine, motherfucker, man. yeah, that sounded like a one guy. motherfucker! it sounded so much like a one guy. are you fucking kidding me? if it ain't one thing, it's a fucking other, man.
1:34:00 i am getting the weirdest spam lately and i don't know how it like where it's come from. mmm text i just got is it's weird because it says hc first as hc. hey justin, i've got an open spot for a clinical study this sunday paying 1.6 k confirm here that seems all right maybe it's a clinical study for like
1:34:27 like the effects of getting jacked off crazy style. imagine? maybe i should answer. we're trying to see how big a man's smile can get. then i'm in the control group where they're just stomping on it. like, aw fuck.
1:34:50 have you guys seen in the twitch highlighter if you try to shorten slay the spire to sts it auto pulls up stsp super titty space prison. which you know maybe it is that. do you think if you took someone like imagine you had a time machine and you went to like australia in like the year 4000 bc and then you just put them in like a minnesota winter do you think they would freak the fuck out?
1:35:23 you think they would be like, what the fuck is all this white shit on the ground? hey mike, i'm gonna let vaku play my shit. they'd be like, this shit is fucking crazy man. we have snow. i was okay, we'll fucking take them out of the philippines or something. you understand the spirit of my question. i was trying to think of what the hottest country on earth was and i couldn't come up with an answer right off the top of my head. you guys listen to audible? that's lovely. no. i have a
1:35:54 check this out. this is audible. that's pretty good. that would have been so good if i hadn't heard it before. it's actually the best impression i have in my entire, in my oeuvre. yeah, that was good. that's what i got. bye bye. oh, no, guys, i'm the only one left. yeah, man. you got this, though. and then i'll hit him and i'll do this and then i'll exhaust my entire hand.
1:36:27 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. here you go. calamity. huge. yep.
1:36:36 there we go. it's your turn. i didn't do anything man. it's so bad. i made the worst deck imaginable, man. wait, i gotta see this. i fucking trolled dude. no, no, no, no. no, that's not gonna do it. no, no, it doesn't. nothing. here we go. here we go. do that and then. wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. you must have created so many cards.
1:37:06 okay, and then play it again and then bye well, that's that's my bad no man, they should not have 12 artifact that's fucking insane little too much artifact true but if i had played a deck that did things we would have probably killed them. okay, i gotta go to the bathroom good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good games good
1:37:39 i will be back on monday. have a great weekend everybody for now. i'll send you over to my wife's dream enjoy yourself don't have too much fun and i will see you on monday later probably here the rice cooker going upstairs. we probably got time to play some bangle rice cooking deserves a tasty rice doo doo doo doo doo, you know what i'm talking about rem poster the washed rice in the basin
1:38:20 heating up so slow, cook it with pressure so the water goes. every molecule soaks into a grain of rice and it gets so much softer. rice cooking, cooking up that rice. dinner's coming soon. that song is supposed to be night swimming by rem.
1:38:56 but with the lyrics changed to be about rice cooking. why is your rem also belle and sebastian? we should be so lucky. that'd be like, judy cooked the saddest rice, cooked it in a pot when she was young. she couldn't afford a rice cooker. she had to cook it on the stove for once. judy never ate her rice except when she was eating. sorry.