scared of disneyland rides - Bits and Banter [07⧸20⧸2026]

Name: scared of disneyland rides - Bits and Banter [07⧸20⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-07-23
Channel: Librarian
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Librarian2026-07-23

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0:00 happy monday everybody welcome back me taking the opportunity to exist again after going in cryostasis for how many hours is it man? it's 10 plus 48 plus 9. holy shit. it's fucking 6 7. oh, holy holy fucking shit
0:20 friday at 2 p.m. i crazy friday at 2 p.m. to monday at 9 a.m. 67 hours now that is a is a beautiful coincidence ni hao ryan lao chi um me mung ma what says are you excellent? is that what that is? are you excellent? mung mung washer? yiga tientong wong hong i am a video game influencer she and
0:49 you know what i'm talking about people? first take the lotus leaf. then take one piece of duck meat and green onions. i can do this one. i can do this one. no, i screwed it up. i said first. no, wait, maybe i didn't.
1:26 chi, chi something bao, chi something bao, then wrap it up. what's the last part? bao chi lai, bao chi lai you saved me. can you just work on this in class instead of to us? you kind of signed up to like be parasocial and now i'm sharing my life with you and you're like don't share it.
1:44 okay, quit. put the shovel down, motherfucker. the whole discord theory crafting all weekend what i'm doing with my time and then i tell you what i do with my time and you're like, can you just play video games? who are you? you used to have eaten, you've been around for 10 years, who are you? your discord sucks. goggie, i don't think you should be saying that. didn't you get banned once? let me dig into the goggie search history here. don't need auto complete for that. 99 mod actions! oh my god, okay. actually, you've been banned
2:14 well, no. okay, you were banned for a month. i thought you got banned, unbanned, and banned again a month later. but yes, you were banned for a month.
2:24 i also think what's crazy is that weren't you banned for pre chat? i mean that's crazy. actually that's very normal because the worst comments are written before the stream starts but it's also crazy because the mods don't show up till like 901. so you must have been you must have been wild and out. you also you've typed 20 times in the stream so far but i've not said anything since i opened your user profile which is really telling
2:54 you don't mind to perceive. you have a bit more of a problem with being perceived, which i will say is normal. that seems like the average person. they love to perceive. the being perceived, let me be honest with you, it's a learned skill. i teach and i would hate to get called out by nl. for the record, i support you. i'm not quite sure what i teach has to do with that. it's almost like you wrote, i am a volunteer firefighter.
3:24 like you just put you put out the shield first like the bubble shield just in case it got tapped which i would never do because you haven't done anything wrong but you threw out you you were like here's why you should not reply to this rudely i gotta get on the dan teaching meta not streamer university but uh when we were playing our creators something i've been thinking about for like
3:46 probably six months now is how when dan meets his kids' teachers, he always asks them for what their favorite coffee order is. and then a couple of times a year, he'll just, when he drops off his kid, he drops off some coffee. i know the bad faith way that people read into human interaction
4:06 is that like, oh, it's so his kids get like preferential treatment. but i think the good faith way is that he's aura farming for himself. and i want that for me. i'm a high school teacher. i get nothing from the parents. i'm sure there's a lot of teachers in here. you know i support the teachers if you don't watch clips out of context. nurses as well.
4:27 especially when i'm in the hospital. one of the times that i support nurses the most is when i'm in the hospital. love the work they're doing in there. but the flip side is i wanted to give my daughter's teacher like just cash last year.
4:42 and i made the huge mistake of googling like, is it okay to give your kids teachers cash reddit? and there's a whole like essays about how it's like not okay. it's not a bribe. it's a bonus. and thank you, libby, for saying, how can you bribe your five year old's teacher? it's not like her kindergarten transcripts are going to get her in the waterloo university or whatever. like it's just,
5:08 it's considered a bribe? yeah, because our society is so prudish, man. this is why china's better at everything. they're giving everybody money. someone comes over to fix the fridge, here's the money for fixing the fridge and here's some money. hey, thanks for doing that for me. here's some money. and then, oh, thanks for giving me money. here's some money. it's better that way, man. also, i loved the teachers in the reddit thread that were like, please do this. just make sure it's not when the principal is watching. and i was like, yes.
5:34 finally, a normal person. finally, a normal person that is like, yes, we would really appreciate the cash. it will not affect your child's transcripts. do it in such a way that i don't get in trouble. did you see ted lasso in the fifa halftime show the europeans organized? no. can i tell you what happened?
5:54 fifa tricked me. i knew that the bronze medal game was at 2 p.m. so i watched, i don't know, i watched like the last 15 minutes of the first half and then a little bit of the second half as it fit into my day.
6:10 and i just didn't even think to check the final. catch my surprise when i go to the discord and everyone's talking about how like we're 15 minutes in and it's scoreless already. i literally i thought i was like damn the pre game show is starting like two and a half hours early. then i go to espn.com and realize it's already 15 minutes in but at that point i already made plans. took my daughter to the white spot
6:34 i'm not even going to fuck with you. i got chicken tenders for lunch and it felt awesome. i don't think i've ordered chicken tenders at a sit down restaurant since i was, if i had the guess, since i was maybe 19 years old and legitimately i think it's one of the best, well not to put any evil on whoever owns the white spot, but it's the best meal i've had of the white spot i think in my entire life.
6:58 the all day breakfast is also pretty good. anything else on the menu? i mean, it's hard to screw up a chicken caesar salad, i'll admit as well, but i think the chicken tenders might be the best thing on the menu, which is crazy.
7:07 what else did we do? what is going on with my twitch dashboard? anyway, so i took my kid out for lunch and then i took her to her grandparents house and we hung out and we watched like extra time. but then they scored like three seconds into the second half of extra time and i said that's the game. my parents were like well does the game end? and i was like no that's the crazy part.
7:31 it just sort of goes, it goes until at a minimum of 120 minutes and at that point it's kind of like the vibe is, the ref is like well it seems like they're not really getting too much done anymore let's just call it. dipping sauce? can i hit you, i hit you with a classic 90s chicken tender meal. if i said it's a classic 90s, i'm eight years old, what sauce am i getting at a sit down restaurant with chicken tenders?
8:00 you're absolutely right, aiden of astora is plum sauce. i don't know if this is a thing that we inherited in canada from the british but plum sauce is like the classic sit down chicken tenders dipping sauce for my generation at least. they don't have plum sauce in the u.s.? i don't know, they got different sauces. they got ranch. i support that. i support the ranch.
8:23 oh, there's no dinosaurs in hacksaw ridge, i'm assuming. this is jurassic park, fallen kingdom. this is one of the jurassic world movies. dominion, okay. if i could go back to guess number one, i feel like... can i say...
8:43 framed low key has the funniest player base of any of the dolls. people guessing cowboys and aliens is so funny. and you're gonna say that's stupid. bro, they weren't, they know it's not an alien. they're guessing cowboys and aliens because it's funny to get the guess wrong. like they're the land before time, dawn of the planet of the apes. they're just, they're having fun with it, man. cowboys and aliens kind of good. libby, i have to ask you,
9:07 because i respect your taste. but when was the last time you saw cowboys and aliens? and i'll put myself on notice as well. i saw it once in theaters when it came out. i thought back then it was bad. maybe it would have about two years ago. maybe it's time to go back and revisit cowboys and aliens. maybe there's something about it that in 2026 reads better than it would have read in 2011 when it came out.
9:37 first half hour is really fun. not to put my personal trauma on you, but i had to walk from my neighborhood in daegu to the gyeongsam bokdo home plus that had a movie theater in it. so that was like a two hour walk to go to the theater to see cowboys and aliens and then a two hour walk back. so for me this... what's the bernie sanders ptsd tweet? it's like...
10:01 for me, bernie's voice is the sound of my dad putting his key into the front door on the way home from work. so for me, cowboys and aliens is me when bernie sanders yells, okay? which is to say it's not good, i think. but it's been a while since i've seen the tweet.
10:21 along with hits like greedy and exes, this pop star has had notable relationships with nhl player cole sillinger and singer rapper the kid la croix. i'm gonna say that's tate mcrae. that's correct. holy cow. can you imagine kid la croix? bro, they made it. it's called bubbly pop. it has 20 calories per can and actually tastes pretty good, but
10:49 i mean, we have dr. pepper, zero, still zero calories. i'm on that sparkling ice shit. go to someone's got to, okay? i only see sparkling ice when i go to my parents' house. i think it's the number one beverage of adults who have a costco membership and don't want to drink their calories, but drinking the sparkling ice for me. you know when you would go to like a friend's house and they would offer you some juice and then you would be drinking it and you're like, this isn't juice, this is like, um,
11:16 i don't even know how to describe it. this is like some kind of, is this freshy or something like this is kool aid? that's how sparkling ice tastes to me. it's like it's something, it came out of a laboratory. i'm sure a lot of them came out of a laboratory, but i wanted a soda that gave me a fresca. well, here's the thing. i think fresca is a soda, but you know what's different? did anyone here ever have chubby soda that came in a tiny bottle and
11:41 and you could only buy it at the dollar store or like giant tiger and stuff like that. when your friend says, hey i've got a pineapple soda do you want to try? and you're like yeah that's awesome and then it turns out he gives you a chubby instead of the crush like a pineapple crush. stings bro. my grandpa used to drink like maybe like four chubbies an afternoon. they're 40 cents but they're 50% sugar. i'm hearing this is a bad thing and you're probably right. saks, sakes.
12:12 portobello, meadow alexa, starting with alcohol ah! starting with alcoholic beverages. ale, mead, port and sake. it's literally like the holy cow. it's like the i don't know how to describe it without being rude, but like your most annoying friends, the first four
12:42 alcohols that your most annoying friend would think of. ale, mead, port and sake. that's crazy. where's a beer, man? they could have put vodka roni or something up there. they could have put ginuwine like the wrapper. just give me a beer. something like that. whatever happened to beer? nadeshot or hasbula? i have no idea, man. i'm going to say hasbula. i would have thought this was pretty close, to be honest. i'm going to say flowers.
13:13 i'm gonna say manchester united. that's gonna clear christianity. a lesser streamer would say... they would make a joke to draw some parallels between the two, but i'm not gonna do that. i'm not gonna do that. i am going to say that christianity gets way more searches. jamie foxx or the game? jamie foxx been on some tracks. the game been on some tracks. i mean, you got slow jams.
13:49 you got hustle blood by big boi. probably some songs off the dreamgirls soundtrack. you got all the g units. well, maybe that's not the game. and then hated or love it. i always thought of it as the game featuring 50 cent, but it might be 50 cent featuring the game. or maybe they did like a little bit of both. like slow jams is on college dropout, but it's also on overnight celebrity, right? i still gotta go with that. oh, that's low, man. we still get there. green day will clear. green day will clear steve martin.
14:27 jimi hendrix probably clears steve martin if i had to guess. ac dc probably over jimi hendrix. lots of like high school baseball tournaments and stuff going on all the time. all the time. it's a wonderful life might be the highest rated movie on imdb. i don't know anything about ama except i get it confused with ma and i also get it confused with the bong joon ho movie that i can't remember. maybe it's just called mother?
15:00 like i have three different movies that all get twisted up in my head. i don't get it confused with gummo. i don't see sandra oh eating spaghetti in the bathtub, so i don't get it confused with gummo. but i only see this in movie dolls. i do know that it's not good. nothing is more savage than civilization. when he turns into calm fjor. damn, this sucks too apparently. yeah, obviously we're not gonna get one shot by winnie the pooh, blood and honey. pixels even is gonna maybe double it.
15:35 i'd say probably this diamond is more expensive than the oldest book. i don't think they were paying $100 million for john wayne's toupee. you could buy ben affleck's ai company for that. an alpha black lotus maybe? i don't know. either way, it's going to be more than six grand. let's not go crazy here. it's not going to get lost in the weeds. lunch with warren buffett probably went for more than $3 million if i had to guess. no shot. it's $19 million.
16:10 people are spending a lot of money on travel. 19 million is, yeah, it's ridiculous. i would have thought that the most expensive hotel room for a night could have been like half a million dollars. 120,000, obviously, there's a lot of money. i'm kind of surprised it's that low though. letters in the longest word in the oxford english dictionary. days kim kardashian's marriage to kris humphries lasted. she had to stay married for at least a month, right?
16:39 okay, i don't okay, honestly, i didn't know the longest word was 45 letters. so that's crazy too. there's no way there's more than 45 time zones. i'm on a heater today, bro! we could actually get a perfect score! battles napoleon fought? i have to imagine there's at least 50. layers in a baklava? less than 60. henrik sedin. songs on spotify with over a billion streams? i feel like it could be 200 songs. it could be 500 songs, bro.
17:17 literally perfect score. put me up at the top, bro! you placed in the top 0% of players today. now do i trust all the data that comes out of more or less? yes, unequivocally. today at least. today they gotta bang on, bro. hey, no foods org keto cracker 16 outs. for when you want to eat carbs but you can't eat carbs, we've made a carbless carb so you can satisfy your carb craving without giving your body the carbs it needs.
17:47 it's a million dollars. it's $10 for the ingredients and $999,990 for the r&d that went into playing god, basically. the transmuting a nutrient into a different nutrient that doesn't have the same impact on your body but has a similar mouth feel, it's $12.99. that's a classic gluten free price. it's $7.99. you couldn't pay me to take this stuff.
18:17 i'll say it's four grams of something. i don't know if it's four grams of fiber or if it's four grams of protein. because i don't know if you can have four grams of fiber because fiber is a carb, but i don't know if it's not keto friendly. so i don't know. i literally don't know. can you have fiber on keto? is chill on keto? chill doesn't sound like it's allowed. it sounds like it's
18:45 tolerated though. maybe they're onto something though not eating the damn taylor farms lettuce. you know when i'm the guy who's catching up on the news from a week ago, did you hear about this stuff? taylor farms says it wasn't them, but we cut you on the toilet. cheesy gordita on the counter. i don't know. does the cheesy gordita even have any lettuce in it? yeti's alive. wait, you can see yeti's messages again. yeti broke. what did yeti say? oh, they can't. when they have...
19:12 they can get a message into genpop when they have a stream streak. they have a 45 stream streak so they can send out one message every time they get the notification. but i don't think you get the message every time. you don't get the streak anniversary. it's only every five days? i gotta stop popping it every time i get to day three then. i get one message a week.
19:39 oh, that's so funny. are you on summer vacation right now? just two fellas having a conversation. when are you going to let him out of the crystal? i can't let him out of the crystal. there's nothing i could do. that's on twitch's end. don't say thank you. it's not up to me. it's passive. mods can fix it. well, you better start being nice to magresta. i don't know. you might be cooked.
20:02 i'll just be honest, i have no clue man. maybe you're close to antarctica. isn't there one called like wellesley? wellesley island? it's not wallace and fortuna. now if i knew where that was, this would be a little helpful. you're not jersey. are you mauritius? i don't know what i'm doing. you're close to mauritius, but i don't know where mauritius is. it's in the indian ocean.
20:32 fuck it, just guess singapore because i was there and it'll look embarrassing if it's wrong. mayotte! get fucked. i'd say, oh it even said it, well not like i know that many territories. my ass would have said like nunavut or something probably. new island just dropped? new island just rose actually, isn't that how that works? french territory north of madagascar. we gotta get bigger maps so i can see these smaller territories man. walt disney, open to 12 million. it's been in theaters for...
21:04 15 years? 15 years before that was 1994? i'm gonna say re release of the lion king. i'm gonna say re release of aladdin. i'm gonna say re release of the phantom menace? family? no, okay, not... re release of... hang on for the com... oh, it's the re release of fucking toy story, bro. hang on for the comedy that goes to infinity and beyond. 12 million dollars for the toy story re release!
21:42 say what you will about the, you know, late 2000s. we were saying, get that old shit out of the theaters. give us some new shit. give us more original ips like zombieland. i can't wait for the live action toy story remake, bro. oh, as much as i hate it, as much as i hate the idea, channing tatum would be a fucking sick buzz lightyear, bro.
22:05 channing tatum would be an awesome buzz lightyear. he's got like the exact right face and he's got the comic chops and he can play clueless so well. oh, maybe it would be good. maybe a channing tatum buzz lightyear would actually be good. woody's chris pratt, of course. woody's going to be chris pratt. my name a buzz. touchstone pictures, starring bruce willie, 2009.
22:32 it's a science fiction action thriller. i don't know when this came out. surrogates, maybe? yeah, all right. how do you save humanity when the only thing that's real is you? okay, this is funny. i don't know anything about surrogates, but set in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots, a cop is forced to leave his home for the first time in years. if they cut it right there, that would have been such a great description of the movie.
23:04 ricky gervais? this has got to be the invention of lying. movie so bad, briefly considered renouncing my atheism and becoming like a born again christian. kind of like what if they made like liar, what if reddit made liar, liar? so the whole like, the last 45 minutes of the movie is just ricky gervais. he's unable to say that god exists because he can't tell a lie, which is... and even still i was like, you know what? i'll give him another chance.
23:35 gran torino to a fish called juan da. great movie, great movie. it's, listen, it's fine. it's fine. i mean, it's like, it's a little bit, and by a little bit boomer fantasy, it might be the most boomer fantasy movie i've ever seen. because the moral of gran torino is it's okay to be a little bit racist as long as you also don't let it cloud your sense of judgment.
24:05 the message of gran torino is you can be a little racist as long as you also still know right from wrong. as long as you recognize there's some things worse than racism and you get revenge on the people who have committed those crimes. we have to get to calm fjor. probably take john carroll lynch, take that back to zodiac. at this point it should be automatic. i mean you go brian cox to adaptation to nicolas cage to face off. that gets you to fjor.
24:35 and then you exit for your however, whichever way you see fit, man. maybe you exit via greta and you take greta to isabelle hopper. then you go to i heart huckabee's and we're trying to, i would just call it like this. we want to get to rat race or a lindsay lohan movie or some shit that kevin klein's been in with will smith, aka wild wild west. kathy, wait, jason schwartzman. it struck me like a bolt of providence. funny people, adam sandler.
25:08 anger management. jack nicholson, about schmidt, kathy bates, rat race, cleese, wanda, the end. no swanky, doesn't count. bro, you're on old meta. we're calm, cool, collected now. oh, that's true. kathy bates is in waterboy. she plays mama boucher. what mama don't know won't hurt her. bunch of overgrown man children.
25:35 what's your... playing foosball? i don't let bobby boucher play no foosball. no son of mine's gonna play foosball. foosball is the devil! and then adam sandler, of course. oh, adam sandler. mickey bell, of course, said foosball isn't the devil, mama. she says i'm good at it. and she showed me her boobies and i like them too! hey, my kid was watching an episode of all that.
25:58 and the sketch was called like the masked dancer. and then they're like, okay, take off the mask. and one of the kids was doing an adam sandler impression and i swear to god,
26:11 when he did the adam sandler impression, he went, this is some information that would have been useful to me yesterday! and i went, first off, that's awesome. adam sandler? i like to dance. the dancing is nice. would you like to dance for me? no? well, that is something that could be brought to my access to the other! that the kids are still learning the old ways of making references to the wedding singer. but i was also like, isn't this show for like nine year old kids?
26:45 nine year old kids are not going to get that reference, bro. they might get a reference to, i don't know, like a hotel transylvania or something like that, but maybe that is one of the ones for the parents. so they can say, there's some stuff in there for grown ups too. but seeing like a kid born in the year 2000 and
27:05 i don't know, 2012 or something like maybe even 2015. seeing a kid born in 2015 do an impression of adam sandler from the 90s was kind of like a jarring moment for a guy like me. new jersey devil's defenseman? what the fuck is... i mean, obviously there's like a million we could get, but i'm trying to think of one guy. i believe he's russian. they're trying to drive him out of town. his name's not lukashenko. it's
27:39 it's, uh, i don't remember it so i'm gonna type scott stevens and then you're gonna tell me who i'm thinking of. russian guy who played for the new jersey devils in 2019. it's not gusev. it's not igor yakalev. maybe he doesn't exist. maybe, maybe i don't, maybe i'm incorrect. it's not shakir makhomedoulin. who is, who is this guy?
28:12 i'm not in a dream. now i have to... is a y in it somewhere? new jersey devils 2021 roster. here i go. here i go looking through the whole roster. sharon govich! he's a forward. okay. well, you make one mistake and all of a sudden you guys didn't, you didn't remember igor alexanderovich, sharon govich, bro? not a defenseman like you knew that. come on, bro.
28:42 no oscars. and a three or more word title? i honestly can't think of shit that jon bernthal's been in. what's the movie where he goes, wait, wait, wait, wait, wow, because there's one where he crashes out like on the stand, right? and then there's one where he crashes out at a dinner table. i don't know if any of these punisher movies ever made it to theaters, man. maybe the punisher one, okay, that one, maybe it doesn't have to go to theaters to be a movie now that i think about it.
29:12 was that, was john berthold crashing out because somebody ordered a sandwich at his restaurant that only served sandwiches? is that what happened? he is always going, let me ask you something. no, he was mentally ill. oh, yeah, what about now do this guy. now you're going to excuse the punisher's actions because he's mentally ill? didn't he?
29:38 they have like a half a memory of john berndthel saying something like the newest punisher is dedicated to like all of our law enforcement officers or something like that which is a crazy crazy sentence to say but anyway yeah he said that one that's okay i mean it's not funny but it's funny it's one of those not funny funny things and a hundred million dollars plus at the box office is there any chance man now you know what i bet um i bet
30:05 due date crossed 100 million. yeah, it fucking did. it fucking did because these two guys could do no wrong. in 2009, that was your ticket to print money. zach galifianakis, a french bulldog, and robert downey jr. three or more were titled lots of movies. a scanner darkly?
30:28 and now i scan the darkness. know what i'm talking about? how'd we do today? top 48% because i literally whiffed one. goated bobby prince billy quotes, i feel a lot better now. and then that's the end of the article. well, actually i think he's got a funny quote too. i'm being very delicate about this, but said like someone asked him like if he regretted working with r kelly after all this shit came out and he went like, well, i guess i should, but it's also part of the fabric of my life. and i was like, you know what?
30:58 i guess? they're kind of like a fucking... they asked bonnie prince billy a gotcha question, which is like, hey, fucking indie folk singer. one of the dudes you recorded a song with turns out he's a monster. so like, you want to apologize to all of your 70 year old fans that are pissed off at you? and he went, you know, no, he was basically said, poe but he's nerfect, bro. now he was talking about himself. he wasn't, he wasn't excusing r. kelly, just to be clear. wade, french john berndl,
31:29 be like bonjourntal? that's pretty good. at first i will admit, i went, oh how clever you switched like the letters and the sounds. then i realized it also makes bonjour. you got a synergy with your joke. that is, what do you mean meg raster? that's pretty good. when you switch the first phonemes of his first and last name, it sounds like bonjour. there's a second layer to the joke that's better than your average twitch chat joke. it's better than my average joke. it's better than like by a million than the average twitch chat joke.
31:58 i stole it from reddit? okay, fucking don't throw the baby out with the bathwater man. certainly better than the average twitch chat joke but they didn't make it. okay. maybe leonardo da vinci didn't make that helicopter either but we're still zipping around in manhattan every day, landing on tops of tall buildings and stuff like that. so you know what? this one's dedicated to ldv. what? leonardo da vinci made the helicopter, okay?
32:26 did i stutter? we hold these truths to be self evident. that was dicaprio. not bad, y'all. psychoanalysis. a noun meaning a... coco. a noun meaning powdered ground ro... coco. acquiesce. a verb meaning to accept... we're not going to be getting that one wrong. that one's been a big part of my... it's kind of part of the fabric of my life. pobody's nerfect, man. meiosis. a noun meaning the presentation
32:54 never living that one down if we get that wrong. and i did very nearly type m y o s i s. i mean, i lived in the nation of rob ford. there's no shot i'm not getting that one. a noun meaning a small antarctic penguin, pygusculus adelia, called also adelie. adelie land, antarctica is named after adelie, the wife of french explorer jules dumont d'urville.
33:21 adélie. okay, just simply stop talking. it's the penguin with the damn whiskers. adélie. motherfucker, man. it's one of the penguin. maybe the rock hopper is the one with the whiskers, but it's a certain kind of penguin. luddite. a noun meaning one of a group. irreverent. an adjective meaning... 24 out of 24. well, 14 out of 15. ooh, wow, that looks good.
33:58 so i guess obviously we're guessing germany first here, but i think that is the average meal of someone when they say i think the taco bell's got me all fucked up. oh fuck bro. i never should have eaten that taco bell. i never should have gotten off the pretzels, pale sausages and shit diet. i never should have stopped eating the damn the pale sausages man.
34:29 yeah man, of course i'd yell. i mean, we could use a little, get a little color on the sausage maybe. whoa! i'm gonna guess it's from india, because it has ghee. the sausage picture is the average meal picture that yeti sends me. yeti, you gotta, if you're eating a big pretzel, two sausages and like some sauce for dinner, you gotta, hey, don't take a picture of it. that's something you should hide if possible.
34:59 sure, there's not a lot of good restaurants in the crystal. you're not wrong, but we're working on it. we need to like get a chef shadow band or something like that so that they can help cook for yeti. it's a normal meal. i'm not gonna normalize the pretzel and two sausages dinner, man. i can't do it. you gotta put something... i was gonna say you gotta put some color on the plate, but then i saw your ass typing in chat, that's what the sauce is for. okay? you know your cuisine is glazed because like
35:25 if this said england instead of spain, people would be like, what is this dish? but because it says spain and rightly so, people are like, i'll give it the benefit of the doubt. if it was england, they would say, it's just what are these microwave potatoes with like a chili sauce on top? if it was in england, it wouldn't have sauce. okay, you know what? plus two, plus two.
35:50 chinese noodles in the banyan trees. i gotta go with chinese food from china. chinese noodles in the bold congee. pick up my chopsticks. let's eat tonight. do do do do do do do do. could could work. doesn't rhyme at all. could work.
36:20 asian food when all my
36:26 yeah, i like a little shirashi don. if japan wins, it's just better pr. i mean, sashimi's really good. the japanese and korean food takes that aggravate me is when there's like some fried shit that if it was served in america, people would be like, ho, ho, ho, look at these americans, the corn dog with the crinkle cut french fries and the cheese sauce on top. but then when they see that it has like a japanese or a korean flag on the foods picture, they go, whoa!
36:56 oh, this would be so, i would love to eat this. this would be the greatest thing i could possibly eat. that's what bothers me, man. not the sashimi, the sashimi's innocent. hot dog free with admission. now the hot dog is really not good looking. they're kind of done like a little... i like the tomato on the hot dog, to be honest. it's a food for fuel, not for...
37:24 not for aesthetics, i can understand that. it's still gotta be. but people are like, nobody hates the world cup more than people who love soccer. so i feel like this, i mean, i'd rather have, in most other circumstances, this would win, i think. whereas i feel like this will, has a chance just because, i'm still going this.
37:45 curry goat and chips. the hot dog looks absolutely... you know what? i was gonna say heinous, but i was gonna fall victim to my own fucked up logic. it looks better than your average hot dog. it just doesn't look like a hot dog. but if you gave me a picture of a hot dog and a picture of this, i'd probably rather eat this. because the flatbread looks... i mean, i'm at least curious about it.
38:05 chicken tenders and fries or onion rings with ketchup and performative ass banana peppers. nanaimo, what are we doing? first off, 265 are onion rings. really cheap, don't get me wrong. what are the banana peppers doing in the onion rings, man? they don't cling. there's no clinging. there's no tooth and groove system that's gonna keep them together. nanaimo.
38:30 kind of crazy to get duck confit at a columbus crew game, but it is ohio. i mean, it doesn't, it looks like it looks, man. seasoned curly fries. yes, bacon, chive, aioli, and a side of brisket marmalade that shit. tandoori chicken wrap with masala fries. literally just looks absolutely better. every part of this, this looks fine to be clear, but every part of this is better. helmet nachos.
39:01 watching from an airplane that's flying over shea stadium, i suppose. you're sitting in what looks to be the window seat in row 11 of a low flying airplane perhaps landing at one of the new york airports. the pizza looks pretty good, man.
39:17 the renegade dog. so hot dog with pierogies on it. you know, i was just gonna say unless this is pittsburgh, i can't forgive it. pittsburgh, i'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt man, but the bow buns do look pretty good. i do feel like i do feel like two of these is probably going to be like 11 pounds but still.
39:36 jeez louise, man. chicken katsu burger looks like absolute fucking shit. just absolutely disgusting, ill conceived, and the actual execution of it is even worse somehow. but then the hot dog with the cheese pierogies at the saskatchewan rough riders game is... just unusual. i just... i had to go with my gut, man.
40:01 i don't stand by what they're doing in saskatchewan. i don't know what they're doing over there. they're calling hoodies bunny hugs and they're growing a lot of canola and i'm sure, i mean, i think that they made balotra there. balotra low key might be like,
40:15 i don't know, maybe 2% of the saskatchewan economy. i'm trying to put a real number on it. i think it's possible that, i mean, canola, they're doing big numbers and i'm sure there's some oil and gas. and obviously, i mean, people are still living, so there's like real estate and groceries and stuff like that. but i think balotrau, the year that balotrau came out, it might've been 2% of the saskatchewan economy. at least 2% of the tax revenue that the government of saskatchewan collected. i think it looks like, i just can't fuck with the bun. fuck you.
40:44 primarily targeted at college frosh gym rats we guess oreo and nutter butter have whey protein collabs with what energy drink brand patrick swayze never got the chance to try legend the pre workout powder from what spoopy energy and hydration brand scary is it liquid death? all i know is the sparkling water. so oh, it's monster
41:14 i guess monster is spooky too. oh, whitley stryber invented anal probing in what book? bro, that's communion. did you think i don't know shit about getting abducted by aliens? it wasn't monster? what the fuck was it? it was ghost. oh, because demi moore is in ghost. that makes sense.
41:41 a guy falling on a dish rack of upturned knives was in the red band trailer. that's got to be evil dead. evil dead. but did he really? i haven't seen a lot of trailers unless they were in front of minions and monsters. he's falling on a dish rack of upturned knives. that's crazy. now if only i knew energy drinks, but unfortunately i was born in 1988. so as a result of being born in 1988,
42:05 i don't know shit about energy drinks. i know red bull. i've had five red bulls in my life. what about five hour energy? i probably had 35 hour energies because they used to give them out for free at pax east. so sometimes age 24, me and josh and our friends would just go to the five hour energy booth and get like three or four five hour energies and then just drink them all and then make a joke that that's like, oh, 20 hours of energy and then be like, why does my stomach hurt?
42:34 like, why do i feel like i want to throw up off four or five hour energies while also hungover? didn't really wire you up. it just makes you feel like you just don't feel like a healthy person. you feel like you have a headache and you're nauseous. dude, i have no idea. i'm going to make a gut check that lil wayne probably has the fewest grammys, but it could be queen for all i know.
43:01 adele is probably, listen, adele could be number two, but she's the only one of the four that i don't think has a shot at number one. stevie wonder been making music since the 1960s. you know, if you're 20 years old, he hasn't done that much significantly to the grammy since you've been alive, but he did intervisions, songs in the key of life, lots of movie soundtracks. he was doing shit. he did true to your heart on mulan. i don't know why i'm talking like a connections contestant right now. michael jackson,
43:29 from the 70s to the, well i don't know how much cachet he was getting from critics in the 90s, but the 70s and 80s was the biggest most glazed artist perhaps in pop music history. taylor swift, four albums a year. surely i remember that one of the albums, i think it was 1989, beat to pimp a butterfly for record of the year. so she has at least one grammy, but i'm going to assume that it's probably 20 times that. can i say something as well before i lock in here?
43:59 i don't know that much about taylor swift. every once in a while on my daughter's girl power playlist, a taylor swift song will come on. i haven't listened to the whole album. people are really, they're not fucking with the fate of ophelia. i think there's some catchy tunes on the fate of ophelia. the title track, i forget about the other one there, but the title, it's got some, the meter of it has got some, it's got some hook to it. it's ass, you literally can't say that. opalite, opalite's all right.
44:27 she fell off. i'm gonna get myself in trouble. some of the songs that i hear off the fate of ophelia, i'm like, that's about as good as the songs i've been hearing for the last 15 years. didn't really notice like a market difference. and by the way, before you want me to do it, before you come to my house and chop my head off or something like that, i'm banging some of those in the car too. so i don't know. i don't, you roll the dice. that's where i stand. it's called the life of a show girl. oh, whatever purple phil. you're, that's my way of saying you're right.
44:58 they probably, can i, the other thing i want to say, they probably give out more grammys now if i had to guess. like how the world cup every year they add two more matches to it. i feel like when michael jackson was winning grammys, they were probably giving out like 10 grammys a year and now they're probably giving out like 40. so i honestly, i call it right there. a lot of you would have been questioning that by the way. let's flip this. lil wayne not at the bottom seems insane to me. it has to be that then.
45:30 of all these, i'm most surprised to see adele with more wins than taylor swift. but i guess taylor swift having double the nominations. okay, she's just honestly... if she gets nominated, she wins. it's that simple. queen zero wins? i know, bro. it's crazy. how did they lose best pump up song? the grammys doesn't have a category for best songs to play in the locker room before your seventh grade hockey tournament?
45:52 it's not even fair because they bundled, we are the champions with, we will rock you. there is no nobody else would stand a fucking chance in that category in that year. higher percentage of people with a fair or poor. fair is bad. if you're an esl student and you're watching this, fair is, it's got to be one of the hardest english words because it either means good in service of equivalent outcomes to promote justice or mediocre.
46:23 fair is like a tofu word. you have to look at the context of the rest of the sentence to figure out how it is. you would be like, how are you feeling today? if someone said fair, you would be like, that's good because yesterday you said you were dying. but if an acquaintance of yours said, i'm feeling fairly good, you would be like, oh, some shit went down. it's all fucking bullshit, man. it's all fucking bullshit. we need to go back to grunts and postures, man.
46:50 like if a friend of mine ever asked me how i was and i said, oh, i'm fairly good, i'm basically saying, please ask me what's wrong because i'm having the worst day of my life. because you can't say, oh, i'm bad. at worst, you could say, i've been better. why can't you say i'm bad? because it's too honest. when you ask a dad how he's doing and he hits you with the live in the dream stare,
47:21 only mj. michael jackson could be, i'm bad, i'm bad, he's really, really bad. and then i can never complete the rest of the song in my head because it always goes, don't you call me pudgy portly or stout, won't you tell me once again who's fat? it just goes straight into weird al, man. don't you call me pudgy portly or stout? the way that it rolls off of his tongue, man.
47:46 michael douglas in fatal attraction, i can't let you glenn close. but there's one problem with the joke. i understand the joke, obviously. i understand everything about it. he let her get close. he let her glenn close.
47:58 i haven't seen the movie, but even i know he let her glenn close. and i'm assuming that's why she went so crazy. which ladies, bad look, bad look. i haven't seen the movie. threatening to kill him probably is what i had to, because it's a thriller, so somebody's life has to be threatened at some point in the movie. not a good look. obviously shows you're more invested than he is. he's going to lose respect for you. she's old. i shouldn't have to be telling her this stuff.
48:28 american sandwiches? yeah, it's the filet o fish. we spell it with an apostrophe here like it's an irish sandwich. is it really with dashes? it's a halloween, not like a patio hoolihans. 2020 slang. gen alpha slang. i mean, this is 6'7", of course. hey, enel, i really value your opinion on this. hair gel or pomade?
48:55 you know, you brought me back to a simpler time in my life. as a high school student with bad hair, which now we all understand the reason why, but like back then i didn't have access to that kind of perspective, i really thought that just the right hair gel could fix me. i really thought, i think i thought the problem was that i was using the wrong sort of hair gel that was making my hair like too wet or something, but if i just got a waxier hair gel and went and then like
49:26 extremely relatable. i'm not i'm literally not balding. i'm 16. i'm not balding people don't bald at 16 i just have naturally thin hair and i was born with a widow's peak, bro my hair is literally gonna be like this until i'm old until i'm like 29. wait is today the fucking day guys? i'm gonna i'm going ten toes down on this one. that's 90 it might be i know you don't see the square. so you're thinking that can't be 90 i think that to me that's 90 i'm willing to bet on the 90 oh
49:56 is it really 91? is it really 92? 92. i mean a 90 degree angle, it hits you in the head differently. like your brain goes, like your brain is primed to look for squares. what do you mean by that? there's like an, oh what the fuck? kind of hard pachinko? plinko, not pachinko? yeah, yeah. what's plinko based off? that's pretty good bro. top 4%. golf? i think you have it confused with hole in one.
50:45 or two. you guys are not real sports heads and you don't know shit about the fucking prices, right? is what i'm learning. you gave me a fucking softball on that one. the only way it could have been softer is if in somehow you gave me access to the one that goes, yodel a hee, yodel a hee, yodel a hee hoo.
51:03 that's cliffhangers? i literally forgot the name. in my head i was going, oh mountain climbers. and you're like, yeah, he's gonna fall on the mountain! how could you think that lipton's nor sides are $4.60 per pack? they're a $1.69! he's gonna get hurt! cliffhangers isn't a grocery game. okay, okay, guy. okay, guy.
51:28 kate said, how do you feel about ludwig calling you a comfort streamer? honestly, i meant to send ludwig a message this weekend. i think northernlion's like an example of a comfort streamer. like he has a very consistent schedule. he's like a comfort streamer for 30 year old, you know autistic like nine to five ers. and that's like a beautiful niche to have. like i don't think there's anything wrong with that at all.
51:52 think he has an awesome life. it's very consistent. he streams maybe 30 hours a week and when he's offline, he's offline it's a great life to lead and he scaled up massively. he scaled up in part because he's been doing it for so long so consistent. i
52:12 he posts everything onto youtube. he has a clipper who loves him called the librarian who puts in overtime on twitter and youtube as well. so it's easy to scale up.
52:25 do what you do, you can absolutely do it. you just have to find those people, find your goats. but i am actually, you know what, i should send it today because he was in the dorms, right? until yesterday he was in the dorms. i was going to say, hey, i saw some of the clips, thank you for saying those nice things. because i really would, i mean, he didn't have to say, he didn't have to use me as an example, but i appreciate, i think that his, the way he was phrasing and using me as an example demonstrated that he has a lot of respect for me, which i really appreciate, to be honest.
52:53 i will say i don't want to talk too much about streamer university and the reason is it's i'm doing my own little protest for the industry slowly collapsing into like the snake has eaten its own tail 20 or 30 thousand times and the snake is getting so so so dense that it's i'm worried that it's in danger
53:19 of becoming a black hole and sucking in the entire universe. because now we've got the streamer university which is like an event where streamers are clip farming but they're also learning how to become you know more professional streamers. and then we've got streamers watching the streamer university and commenting on the streamer university and now i'm
53:39 watching the streamer watching the streamer university and then people are like did you watch the streamer watch the streamer watch the streamer university have you seen the clip of the reacting to the streamer university reacting to what happened at streamer university at streamer university and it's just like it's just it's just a click you know what it is like that when you copy the jpeg and eventually someone reposted on r slash sips t and it's just artifacts it's just artifacts that's what we're getting to is like there's there was one nugget of content
54:07 and it was in a little terracotta pot and it was sprouting a little bit and then now that one little seed of content is just being obliterated because it loses a piece of its essence every single time.
54:22 and it's derivatives. it's like the derivative market is crazy. there's no more original ideas. it's just a reaction to a reaction to a reaction. i didn't even see this. i saw this out of context. here's my reaction immediately. there's the long form video. i'm going to react to it. can you react to the reaction? can you react to what this guy said in his react video? instead, we're just going to play sine nertle critical because it's all fucking bullshit, man. it's all fucking bullshit. we're going to play a mouthful too. okay, relax.
54:50 a lot of dudes that spend years with identifying with character sure are upset about property damage now. i assume this is fight club and they're talking about tyler durden. oh, english isn't a tonal language? okay, then why does it sound wrong when i say tyler durden? don't say it like that?
55:10 tyler durden. boys will be boys. two and a half for fight club? i mean, listen, i'm not, i probably give fight club like a four and a half. i'm not one of those guys who's like, what's your favorite movie? but a two and a half movie meant a lot to me when i was 14. it's literally still good by the way. it's still a good movie. in fact, the movie is so good, it's taken us almost 30 years since its release to
55:34 actually be able to appraise the movie. because when it came out everyone was just blown away, it was like shock and awe. they were like, this is clearly one of the best movies i've ever seen. and then we had like 15 years of, it's one of those movies that my ex boyfriend loved and thus it's really bad. and now finally, like almost three decades after its release, we can look at it and say, you know what? movie's actually pretty good. holy shit.
56:03 32 cubes. could be worse. that's a ton, man. that's at least 157. no decahedrons. holy shit. 75. we're getting a lot better. big ass cubes, man. i think there's 38 of those big ass cubes in there.
56:51 that one was not as good. 141. that's 38 percent bro! yeah! yes! do the fill mode? oh shit. i'm insane. i'm actually insane. filling is so much easier bro. filling is a joke!
57:57 this is comical, man. 56 of these. kind of fucked up on that one, guys. enjoy the double pour on me. zero points on that one, huh? 71 cubes. i mean, the damn thing was overflowing. i did what i could, okay? i did what i could. imagine if we fucking got it because of the last couple.
58:39 oh, you got a swag farm every time. even if you think you've got enough, you gotta just add like three more so in the clip you would look awesome. i don't drink anymore but like pouring a beer, it does feel awesome. also, your brain is so amazing. you know how heavy a glass of water is going to be just by looking at it.
59:06 how crazy is that, man? that means that somewhere inside of your brain you're either doing a calculation or there's like some stored data or there's stored data used as seed for a calculation. the only thing that could fuck you up when you look at a glass and you go, oh well that's going to be this heavy, if there's less water in it, because your brain has already sent a message that's like activate 8% of the muscle in your forearm and then if it's like
59:35 if it's emptier than you thought, you're like, whoa! like you pick it up like you put twice as much power as you needed to. that's crazy. i still think, i mean, i think about it basically every time i throw or catch a ball. it's so insane that you could be playing like center field and then you see the pitcher throws a pitch, the batter swings the bat within a quarter of the second of it leaving the bat.
1:00:02 you are within maybe two meters of where it's going to land. despite the amount of variables that are going into it, the power involved, the launch angle, how high it went. i guess that's launch angle, but you get the idea. like you, your brain instantly goes, well, okay, i need to be in this circle. i need to be in a circle that's about this big. and then it's gonna come down like slightly to the right or left of me maybe, but still. the speed at which your brain makes the calculation is so crazy.
1:00:32 not for all of us? well, i mean it comes with practice. you got something like you'd probably be better than maybe not a dog because they got something naturally going on in there. but anyway, i have to think about it. you see cam scattebo do the backflip and then eat it?
1:00:57 and then he said i'm never gonna stop i don't give a shit if my coach tells me to stop i'm gonna keep living my life people say i'm already brain dead anyway, so who gives a fuck? do you enjoy being like the wild maniac moniker is like is that insulting or is that like you know, i totally enjoy that part i think i less enjoyed the brain dead kind of guy. um
1:01:26 but it is what it is. i mean, the new york people love it, so i'm just gonna keep being me and if they wanna say i'm branded and i don't have no brain, then who cares? fuck it. it's funny right now, but it... get along, cam scatterbow. get along, cam scatterbow. okay, well, i mean, this would be roughly half, except he has his arm posed this way. you know what would be fucking aura, man? slice him in half this way.
1:02:24 just by chance you changed a diamond to a pearl you turned it on the world that's when you turn the world around then you do it alone 2007 with 281 million views this is like, yeah, no i know this is this steady as she goes? looking steady as she goes is this the raconteurs? okay, they don't have a song in there i feel like like it's, there's something in there man
1:03:10 oh, it's bob dylan. wait, wait, this is how it goes. i know this one. i don't know anything else about it. it goes, hey, hey. i mean, obviously i'm going to know it's so cold once i hear it. oh, it's beginning new!
1:03:52 2007 it with the song is so bad. i thought it was from at least the late 2010s. there's some bad music in 2007. asher roth, i love college and stuff but bad. you got me you got me for a second. this song is awesome. yeah, man. this one.
1:04:25 one of the best songs without a doubt to hear at the gym when your ear pods are not charged. i'll give you that. that if that shit came on at the gym and you forgot your air pods at home, you would be like, all right, that's fine. but if this shit's on your playlist, i mean, why waste the bits man just take your air pods out wait 10 minutes.
1:04:56 we need more cracked out uncle? okay, one second. well, i don't know. i keep forgetting how to find them because when i type cracked out uncle, i get somebody doing sketches on instagram reels. hey, it's your cool uncle here. i was just wondering if i can borrow your air conditioner. he's always doing stuff like that. there's one called the only reaction to eating her food and it's him sitting at a really flimsy table and i have to see it. i have to see it.
1:05:22 it only has 175 likes, but he's sitting at the table. he's sitting at is so flimsy. i have to see it, man. the only reaction to her food. no, no, no. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. at first i thought i was like, no, no, he lost the step. but then why did i let myself doubt man? cause the table was the other table.
1:05:59 64,000 likes now this has got to be heat man. your dentist says welcome and you immediately jump on the reception desk i think he's getting to the point he's realizing you can't keep up like
1:06:30 25 stunts back to back to back over and over again or he's gonna scat about himself but please end this what you don't like that's awesome if you don't like that you got a you got a problem with being alive as far as i'm concerned the tile floor is so crazy man day two at dentor do international today we tested temporary crime he's doing a sponsor post for a cosmetic dentist
1:07:04 he has a promo code for the dentist. oh shit man. i mean this is perfect. unexpected twist. hashtag public prank. i'm sorry, it's awesome man. it's just awesome.
1:07:43 she's obviously, if she's in on this, then she deserves to be the next meryl streep. cause this is a, such a human reaction. it's like she thinks she just watched a man shatter his spine on the convenience store floor.
1:08:08 but then like, then she's like, okay. she actually like wises up really quick. ross on the other hand, ross geller is like, i'm going to be late to teach my paleontology class. he can't, he can't be caught on viral video because he's, he's going to see emily right now and rachel is going to be pissed off. hey, i saw that video of you. why did you have two bottles of water?
1:08:41 i gotta see it one more time man. i gotta see it just one more time. the look, the look he gives to the camera. he gives him a look like why? turn the camera off this guy's gonna die. you gotta turn, call 911. he just died.
1:09:23 that's good stuff, man. maybe just one more time. the cashier does look for about one second and then just starts scanning again. it's really good. i love people saying this is the dumbest thing i've ever laughed at. what pisses me off is that half of you watch wrestling, which is basically what this is.
1:09:54 and you're saying like, this is stupid. this is awesome, man. yeah, that's also true. you watch me. i'm putting way less skin in the game than cracked out uncle, bro. wrestling is theater. this is theater! but you're actually funny? this is actually funny! this is funny! this is modern art! the jackass generation. oh, go back to holy fucking shirt balls or whatever the heck you say. that was on my end. mark zuckerberg was on my end.
1:10:27 you're six inches deep in mark and elon's two inches deep into you. do you move forward or backwards? forwards? so you just don't give a fuck about elon, okay? no, it's fine. sure, it's kind of like a mask off moment for you. six inches deep and i can still go forward. wait, wait, wait.
1:10:49 well, because like the going forward is not just a it's not just a property of your length. it's also a property of the kinematics of your body. so you could be six inches deep into mark zuckerberg and still have not even begun to thrust because he could just be throwing it back on you. so yeah, you could be buried to the hilt and you could still thrust you could at least generate some pressure.
1:11:17 would he be throwing it back? i don't think he knows how to throw it back, man. if i don't know how to do it, i don't think he knows how to do it. no end then. you know what fucks me up i was thinking about? they go to a chinese drive through and dude, where's my car? 20 years, 20 years. i never clocked the fact like, wait, the real thing is fucking chinese drive through. i've never seen one. i'm not saying it's not real. i'm just saying i want one.
1:11:48 chinese drive thru. yes, man. you guys are saying, what about panda express? what about fucking panda express? i don't even know where they... i'm assuming the closest panda express is maybe in like blaine, washington. i would love to have a panda express, man. i'll go crazy over some deep fried chicken with some kind of sugary sauce on it. mount vernon, washington at 2293 freeway drive. that's the closest panda express to me. and that's fucked up.
1:12:18 that's a long ass trip man. and they don't fuck with me there. well actually mount vernon's kind of fucking with me. bellingham wants me dead. all because i said they don't have any escalators. there's two in bellingham? bro bellingham's further away than uh than mount vernon. justin you got a lot to learn. you still eat your boogers? oh so it's okay for him to ask a thousand times but if i ask once? but if i ask once it's crazy?
1:12:45 justin finn also asked if you were going to do the morning ride. i cut him some slack because they weren't, they haven't been around for that long on the peloton rides. if you see me posting in the peloton discord at 5.50 in the morning, yeah, i'll be on the peloton ride. you got nothing to worry about. watching nl in the hospital is a vibe.
1:13:04 not to be nicole kidman about the hospital. it is the loca and there's a distinction that's required here. it is the location in the earth where sandwiches taste the best. now that does not mean that they have the best sandwiches. i would say if anything they have the worst sandwiches because they're not a restaurant. they're like full of healthcare professionals that are trying to make you feel better. but
1:13:26 the sandwiches in the hospital taste so good because you don't know when the next one's gonna show up. and also every single one is of course giving you like healing power. hospital sandwich or airplane kamado? i say kamado? things don't taste as good on the airplane as they things taste worse on an airplane except for ginger ale and i just i don't like tomato juice so i'm not gonna like you only get one thimble full of liquid every
1:13:53 hour and a half, two and a half hours. so i'm not gonna waste my thimble on tomato juice when i'm like getting dried out by the fucking recycled air, okay? it's just not gonna happen. everything tastes better in a hospital. i'm not saying you should take your meals there. i'm just saying... it's like the difference between how your food tastes when your mom cooks it when you're a kid and how it tastes when your mom cooks the same food when you're 30.
1:14:15 mom making you dinner when you're 16? yeah, like it's alright i guess. i'm kinda sick of it. i wish you... oh, mom. can't you make... mom, i wanted... i saw sukemen online. can you make me some dipping noodles? i don't wanna have roast beef. but then when you're fucking 28 and your mom makes you a dinner, you're like, oh my god, thank you for your selfless act.
1:14:34 of nurture. that's like the hospital. if someone served you, if you ordered a sandwich and someone served you an egg salad sandwich on the worst white bread you've ever had at like a restaurant, you would be like, fuck this place. when they give it to you at the hospital, you're genuinely like, this is, this meal means more to me. it's nutrients to keep me alive. it's an act of love from the nursing staff. like it's a spiritual,
1:15:03 ritual, in my opinion. i make food in the psych ward, we just throw this shit in the microwave? are you the... do you work there or are you a patient? because then i'm gonna... because if you're a patient, i think it's possible the sentence is literal. you might literally be throwing shit in the microwave. or are you an employee who heats up... because i don't care! a warm meal's a warm meal, man! i'm not expecting them to have heston blumenthal in the back doing molecular gastronomy. just make a big pot of stew or something like that, it's okay!
1:15:33 we got bigger problems. the only thing like, okay, so obviously i wasn't giving birth before you fucking say we gave birth. but the only thing that pissed me off about the hospital food when my wife gave birth is that literally the day before she had like a human being pulled out of her abdomen. the following morning they said, hey, make sure you don't order too much.
1:15:59 meanwhile, when they send you home, they're like, yeah, eat a lot. make sure you eat a lot of food. but the day after, they're like, don't order too much. like we're on tight rations in the hospital. and i was starving to fucking death. obviously, kate had bigger problems. don't get me wrong. she was like, i think i just want like a waffle.
1:16:21 do you want something?" and i said like really under my breath i was like yeah put a couple of like breakfast sandwiches on there too because i'm really hungry. and then when it came they pulled off the cloche and the waffle was literally like the size of two triscuits glued together. and on the menu they described it as like a handmade belgian waffle
1:16:44 which i don't expect that to be there, but like why lie and get your hopes up. but then the breakfast sausages were like two breakfast sausages that had been cut in half from a larger breakfast sausage. so you're like, you know, it's not that i expected the food to be good, but you had like the trappings. you had the trappings of a good restaurant, but then it just, you couldn't back it up. crazy first time chat message. wait, no, it was not a first time chat message. it got caught by auto mod.
1:17:11 first half of the message, i hope you die. good job, automod. second half of the message, literally the only thing that you could put after it to make it good. i hope we both die! i hope i cut myself shaving tomorrow. i hope i bleed all day long. our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises. we're pretty sure they're all wrong. you're not fucking with the mountain goats, automod? automod ain't fucking with john darnielle?
1:17:35 i hope it stays dark forever motherfuckers in alaska in the in the wintertime. i hope the worst is it over maybe the meanest song ever yeah, i mean it's coming from a place of pain motherfucker. of course oh, i'd like to i want to listen to some nicer music. what are you talking about? get some nicer music
1:18:09 damn, i might have thrown on this one. we got one hole left. i didn't say it's a bad thing. well, you kind of... you... you... you... there was an implication. there was an implication, okay? also, i'm... yes, i'm pretty sure eminem has some meaner songs. doesn't he have songs about like killing his mom? that's mean... he said, i hope you die. he didn't say, i'm going to kill you. that's two different things. i didn't say one's good. just before i get clipped out of context. check that out.
1:18:43 dying because my disc cuts a poisonous mushroom cap from its stock and then i get the spores on my finger and then later i lick my finger to check the wind and i didn't realize it's a death cap mushroom and i'm in the hospital ordering 15 waffles and 100 sandwiches. oh, can i get can i get can i have 50 breakfast sausages?
1:19:19 i just i'm really i know i'm only supposed to order as much as i can eat. can i get 50 breakfast sausages? can i get 300 sausages please? you keep saying sandwich instead of sausage? yeah, you'll have to excuse me. i'm not at my best man. i do i agree with you. i like the apple juice cups. i actually i fuck with the apple juice that comes in like the they used to use it for like mcdonald's breakfast when i was a little kid. it's like the short and stubby
1:19:49 dimpled plastic apple juice. it tastes better out of those. worst way to drink apple juice, hands down, juice box. and don't even get me started if the juice box is lukewarm. that might as well be piss. how's tomodachi going? honestly, my daughter played a little tomodachi on my save. mal confessed his love, he wanted to confess his love to elizabeth holmes. so he invited her on a date to the ferris wheel.
1:20:17 lady didn't even fucking show up, bro. she didn't show up. he was saying some shit like, ah, take them somewhere. i guess i was wrong. and then he got like a little purple teardrop over his head for the rest of the day. don't let your crown slip, king. also, for some reason, he had like hatsune miku hair. i don't know. i guess they kind of, they were like, the mayor is never coming back. we might as well, you know, rush the barber. we can do anything we want.
1:20:49 you ever gone on a tangent about pickleball? i feel like you'd have strong opinions about pickleball.
1:20:56 i hate to disappoint you, i do not have strong opinions about pickleball. my opinion on pickleball is going to annoy you probably if you're watching this stream. i'm like very positive to anything that gets people out of the house and like socializing with other human beings. i was definitely never one of those tennis guys who's like the tennis courts are all like awash with pickleball players so i can't play tennis. i'm the tennis player who hates other tennis players because i could never play tennis because all the tennis courts are awash with fucking tennis players bro.
1:21:24 not really their fault for playing tennis at the tennis courts, but like i got no beef with the pickleball players. if i could get some of the retirees to like maybe wait until, i don't know, everyone else is at work to go to the tennis courts instead of just squatting on the tennis court looking at their phone at like quarter after six in the morning in the summertime. and then as soon as you go to use the tennis court, they stand up and they're like, no, actually i was just a minute away from playing tennis.
1:21:50 my thing is they keep building pickleball courts instead of tennis courts because they're cheaper and now we got no place to play tennis. don't get me wrong that sucks but as someone who doesn't really play either anymore i'm just like i'm just happy people are getting out there man. i'm not saying you should switch from tennis to pickleball but like anything that gets people i mean i'm becoming like a single issue like not even voter but like a single issue liver. my single issue is like
1:22:16 even if you are never using your phone, you're probably using it too much and you should be doing something else. and once you die, your soul is going to vanish and you're not going to exist anymore. and you only get one chance. so i would say go out there and bang the pickle ball around while you still have the chance, i guess is what i'm trying to say. not to ruin anybody's life. and then just fucking catch a thermal, man. the real people that i got a bone to pick with is the dog walkers, bro, because i'm trying to play disc golf.
1:22:45 at kilcena park, but the damn dog, well i haven't been yet, but i've heard that the dog walkers are just... it's a wash with dog walkers. go outside, says the dude without an actual bike. if you were a real stream viewer, which i'm glad you're not because we've established you probably spend too much time on your phone anyway even if you spend no time on your phone, you would know that i actually have a real bike and i rode it to the grocery store early in the morning last week because my daughter was missing the bread that she needs in order to have the one kind of sandwich that she enjoys. also,
1:23:16 and i wish no evil on them because it's just banter, lad. it's just banter. but literally two of the people in the peloton discord who have hit me with the real bike discourse, i've thrown out a wellness check and been like, where are they? and they're like, oh yeah, i fell off my real bike and got road rash and now i can't go, i can't bike inside or outside for a month because i had 37 stitches put into my calf.
1:23:39 so i'm just saying it wasn't me. i didn't throw a stick into their spokes, okay? but just be careful because karma's got a way of... karma is my bestie is what i'm trying to say, i guess. we do need to host the bob dylan ride. oh, but what would it start? it's got to start with rainy day women 12 and 35. i'm sorry. if you're doing a bob dylan ride and you're not starting with side one track one of blonde on blonde, then what's wrong with you?
1:24:04 i get you could start it a little wistfully. you could start it with like tangled up in blue or some shit like that and like set the tone but you have to start with. now stone you when you're trying to shake your tooth. we gotta start it with that man. what are we ending it with? i'm gonna make you fucking sweat divisions of joanna bro. if you don't get it by the start of the ride you're gonna fucking get it by the end of the ride. i promise you that shit.
1:24:31 ain't it just like the ride to play tricks when you're trying to be so quiet? okay, check this out. crazy idea for a shot. drop it right down. i will pay for you to take singing lessons? all right, man. thanks. what was stopping me was the money. thank you so much for removing the one obstacle that keeps me from being a good singer.
1:25:09 oh man. father fucker. fuck it, we're playing mahjong. put me in. are we putting hurricane on the ride? yeah, but we all have to stop pedaling when he says it so we can hear it better. okay, listen, that's really funny. like ain't that loud though. i ain't the one baby. uh uh. i don't play like that. get them banned. get them banned. we don't do that here. oh, now i'm pissed. i ain't the one baby.
1:25:38 i take no disrespect. there's a lot of, well there's not a lot, there's like three good peloton clips. that's one of them. the other one is the compilation of saying things like,
1:25:51 hey, happy 500 rides to mike hawk. genitalia, happy 1000. you totally got me with that name. happy 1000 rides to i pellow for wine and hey would you blow me. that shit, that one's all right. and then the one where... and jen sherman, you might not be a real peloton head like me.
1:26:09 jen sherman every single ride she's pissed off. she's always saying some she's basically always saying if it ain't one thing it's another fucking thing if it ain't one thing. it's a fucking another all right cadence 90 resistance 40 they're always yeah, she is basically saying i hate this bike i fucking hate this bike, but then her you probably linked it already here, but her crashing out about
1:26:35 how much she fucking hates tenet. she was saying like, never fucking watch this movie ever. and then finding out that chris nolan exercises on the peloton and he was like just locked in for his workout and then she started shit talking his movie to his face without him knowing that he was there. directors have a complex emotional relationship with critics and criticism. for example, i was on my peloton doing a
1:27:07 this will probably get content id matched but it could be worth it.
1:27:28 this song is from the soundtrack of a movie called tenet. anybody see this shit? did anybody see this besides me? because i need a manual. someone's got to explain this. yeah, i'm not kidding. what the fuck was going on in that movie? do you understand? seriously, you need to be a neuroscientist to understand. and that's two and a half hours of my life that i want back. i want it back. oh, man, she was fucking losing it.
1:27:57 that's that's her baseline attitude on the bike. she's always pissed off about something she does sound like she's on gta radio the way she says that anyone see this shit about like a chris nolan movie is so funny like am i the only one that saw this shit is so fun. this song is from the soundtrack of a movie called tenet anybody see this shit? did anybody see this besides me? oh it's good
1:28:31 rushmore, top 5, wes anderson, faint bunny, i don't disagree. well, i'd have to think about it, but i think it's got a high chance to be up there. but you gotta see another movie. you've been talking about rushmore for like at least two weeks now. you gotta see another movie to become obsessed with.
1:28:52 everyone on this 45 minute marseille ride is afk. i'm in 30th place with 75 kilojoules. that's the classic peloton move. is start up a ride, pedal for three minutes and then sit there idle for 87 minutes. and i mean, don't get me wrong, things come up, but it seems like if you're not in the egg carton, i mean it's a little solipsistic, but it seems like if you're not in the egg carton, things basically come up for you on every single ride.
1:29:20 at which point i would say that that's gotta be issue with poor planning. everyone's pinched on time, don't get me wrong, but every once in a while, you know, your kid's gonna be like, i'm scared. you gotta leave the ride and go do it and go, fuck, motherfucker. i got scared at disneyland? what scared you at disneyland, jusfin? i'm not even actually, that's fucking real.
1:29:45 i've been scared at disneyland. first time i went on pirates of the caribbean, there was a little baby drop. it's probably like, i mean i did this, but it's probably like a three foot drop. but it's on a slope, so it's like basically like going down an escalator. and then i was like, whoa, i didn't know this was a drop ride. i thought this was like one of the... motherfucker, man! with the lollipop and everything, i thought i was cruising.
1:30:06 anyway, then there's a second drop and the second drop it's still not a serious drop like i think if they turn the lights on you would be like oh this is like i'll just walk it like or i'll just jump it that's nothing but after the second drop the kid behind me who was like seven years old kept saying like and here comes the third one and
1:30:26 mom, here comes the third drop, get ready. and so for the rest of the ride, i was scared. i was also like, how deep into the earth does this ride go? cuz we're already at a full underground scene with a full sized galleon and stuff like that. and then there was no third drop, so i was just nervous for no reason, man. also, you're already nervous for no reason, cuz at disneyland, they don't have scary rides.
1:30:51 they have, i mean, i guess tower of terror is scary. if you find it scary to be dropped from a dead hang 200 feet in the air or whatever. if you find it scary to feel like you're dying, like you're gonna splatter on the pavement in front of the tower of terror, it's a small world, terrifying. it's terrifying how good the ride is when it's hot out.
1:31:20 it's the only time you're ever happy that this shit is like, i don't even know, like 20 minutes long. space mountain is scary. if you're like, if you're my age it's scary because you're gonna like slip a disc or something like that but even like my kid went on space mountain when she was three or four i think and then i was like were you scared and she was like no it just hurt my head. i was like that's that's real as fuck man. your kid is more badass than me.
1:31:49 i push back on this notion because i thought i didn't like rides because i thought rides were scary. it's not that i don't like rides. now that i'm older, i realize it has nothing to do with being on a ride. what i don't like is to be dropped. i don't like being taken high into the air and then let go or shot down like a negative slope
1:32:16 and like feeling my stomach like come up into my throat and then like that i don't like that. what do i like? fucking test track bro. because on test track is completely flat it just goes really fast. and then you realize you feel like a baby because like really fast is like slower than the uber drove to get you to disney world. they're like it shows the speed the speed that you're going on the ride and you're like what the fuck we're going 50 miles an hour that's like
1:32:48 this isn't, but i guess it's just it simulates going 50 miles an hour on the freeway in a convertible. you know with your hair flapping in the wind and stuff like that. if you're going 50 on the highway you better be in the slow lane. um, ricky, back me up here. i think you said you're supposed to say if you're going 50 on the highway get the fuck out of my way. move bitch, get out the way. something like that. sorry i wasn't referencing anything. yeah you were referencing driving. 50 might as well be on the side streets.
1:33:18 i drive slow as fuck, also known as the speed limit. and i'm sorry, i'm like... trying to think of a way that doesn't make me sound like the evil person for preserving public safety. but i love seeing motherfuckers go crazy behind me when there's two cars, like cars are parked on both sides of the street and there's only enough space for one car to fit through and there's like kids playing kickball and shit on the sidewalks. and i have the audacity to drive slow.
1:33:45 they're like, you can go faster. you can go faster here i can get to where i want to go a little bit faster. i was getting tilted as fuck going around the guy who had bumper stickers that said go ahead and pass me i left on time. i hate the self aware bumper sticker but that is awesome.
1:34:05 because that is exactly what i'm thinking when someone's going insane behind me. i'm not thinking like, oh, they're... and this could be the case. they could be having an emergency or they could have like, through no fault of their own, they could have had to leave one job site
1:34:20 later than they wanted and they absolutely have to be at the next job site at the time that they said they were gonna be there but in my head, i'm like, well you should have left. sorry i guess i'm just better at being a person than you because i left when i left five minutes before i had to leave just in case i hit one red light on the way. it's not your problem. that's true and i also i mean anytime i'm like, oh i'm late. i'm gonna drive fast. i always think like i
1:34:43 i'm probably gonna get there slower if i like crash my car or like t bone somebody on an e bike or something like that and then have to wait for the police to come and be like hey you killed this guy with your car. have you won a hand in this tourney yet? yeah i won the hand just before the one that you just saw. i'm not watching the stream bro. based. chatting but not watching is actually awesome. i do love to just get off the bike
1:35:10 and then just type some shit in dan's chat without putting the headphones on. it actually feels amazing. and then like other people are like adding you and shit in the chat and you're not even reading it and you're like. and then you're shoving your phone up your ass so every time you get mentioned it vibrates, you know the deal at this point.
1:35:34 damn, this is the fastest a chat has ever moved during mahjong. never before in mahjong have i ever said, i can't read that it's going too fast. and all it took was talking about shoving something up my ass. say pineapple on pizza is good. we commit more egregious pizza crimes than pineapple on pizza. i would say like once a month. kate and my i will co sign this our favorite pizza from this pizza chain here called ponego is the chicken
1:36:02 taco salad pizza. and what does it have on it? i'll fucking blow your mind, bro. it's got shredded lettuce on it. it's got cubed tomato. it's got shredded cheddar cheese. and sometimes they cook the shredded cheese so it's melted, but then it makes the lettuce hot and you're like, oh, hot lettuce. and sometimes they don't melt the cheddar cheese and you're like, oh, the cheese isn't melted, but at least the lettuce is cold.
1:36:33 please, deal in. deal in right now. you will deal oh shit. fold in! fold in youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
1:37:07 i just can't get out of my hair. every day when i come to panago, that's just what i get. you know what i'm talking about? all these double knit strangers with gin and vermouth. favorite band that formed after 1990? that's a good question. i have to think about that because it's gonna be, i know what you're saying.
1:37:36 you're saying i listen to older music, which is true. but there is going to be something. no, it's not the fucking foo fighters. get out of here. no, it's not. it's not linkin park. okay. no, it's not the white stripes. it's certainly not bright eyes. okay. like it's on the postal service. they have one album. they're debasing yourselves and you're debasing me. and the second, i cannot tolerate. it's not green day. and also green day was formed before 1990, bro. wiggles kind of goated.
1:38:03 even my kid only fucked with the wiggles for like two days, man. now she's on to carly rae jepsen. so she's caught up to you guys. come on, man. it's not jimmy eat world. i do like this bit where you guys just keep naming bands until i've eventually offended everyone by saying that i am not fucking with their favorite band as much as they're fucking with it. that's a good bit. that's good for pr. they should teach that at streamer university.
1:38:39 he's a good guru, crazy about minions, got minions and the overalls too. i hate tom petty. i used to think that tom petty was not good but then i watched one battle after another and i was like you know what maybe there's a time and a place for tom petty. i don't really, i mean i don't really fuck with free falling or that one the alice in wonderland song where he goes don't come around here no more.
1:39:10 nobody tells me where to fucking come. it's the first thing you gotta fucking learn. i'll come around here, round there, win win everywhere. right every single wrong, bro. i'm a total fucking rock star from mars. winning! come on, bro, i got tiger blood. you know what i'm talking about? are you bipolar? i'm bi winning! shmo yoho is airing him out, man.
1:39:37 that's so beast. someone asking you if you're crazy and you saying like you're crazy awesome is it's a great parry. it was a good parry in 05. that was the charlie sheen shit was 2010, 2011. okay 2005. 2005 strikes me as peak tom cruise jumping on the couch going... and he was saying shit like don't be glib, matt.
1:40:10 and then adults were like, he's being really rude. and i was like, oh, you've never been in love before? oh, okay. so you're perfect. apparently oprah's couch is sacrosanct. don't put your shoes on oprah's couch. everyone will freak out, man. you have a lot in common with my 80 year old chinese grandmother? bro, have nai nai pull up, bro. i mean, it could be lao lao. i don't know. have them both pull up, bro. we got room for nai nai n lao lao.
1:40:42 so funny how many unique names are for like grandfather's younger brother there are in chinese and then the days of the week are day one day two. yeah. my chinese teacher going okay, how do you say that it's thursday and i'm like okay, that's jing qi si.
1:40:56 and then she's like, okay, what about your dad's oldest brother, but there's a sister that's actually the eldest child in the family. and i'm like, uh, gaga? and she's like, no! budwe, that's not gaga! that's still daga or something like that. i'm like, oh, motherfucker, man. she did teach me how to barter. i mean, i'm ready to go to the richmond night market now.
1:41:25 what was the next part? what's discount again? and then she's like, they're gonna tell you to fuck off. when you say i'll buy it for 30 bucks, they're gonna say go die. and then you gotta say, oh, how long? and then they're gonna go, wait a second, wait a second, come on back here.
1:42:00 come on back here mister. we're not done with you quite yet. how about 60 bucks? nice. ah, tiguela, tiguela. and then i have to say i have a big family. my family has many people. so we will buy a lot. womin my tiguela. and that's how i ended up getting a cell phone case for $8 that they bought on aliexpress for $1.50.
1:42:28 fucked up how buy and sell sounds so similar. buddy, now you're talking like me a month ago. sell is obviously my and buy is my. completely different. absolutely unbelievable difference. not even close. somebody stop her! i'm folding bro. paul mccartney noise. 2000 point hand with all that dora on the board.
1:43:04 what you're gonna do with all that junk? all that junk inside that trunk? steve storage is a large chest filled with sand. he's become a new world man. that's... listen, it takes a lot to get me to go with the third world man reference, but...
1:43:25 he's a third world. yes, you can get rush involved too man. jump through the clothes as the turbo slows across the borderline. can i say limelight, not the worst song on moving pictures, but the most overglaze song on moving pictures by a mile. people are putting limelight above
1:43:51 tom sawyer? they're putting it above red barchetta? they're putting it above yyz? they're putting it above the camera eye? the greatest song in history to ever say, hello governor, in the fucking song, bro. of course you hate limelight, your whole job is pretending a stranger is a long awaited friend. oh fuck. jesus. you didn't have to go for the jugular. no man, that's crazy. what the fuck did i ever do to you?
1:44:22 smoking pork chops, he's been smelting o'er since dawn now he's mining all night long he's a new world man wait, but the next part is the part where you really have to land it or people are gonna be like, well that was clever, but i can't hit the notes that don hits during the chorus. every time you mention third world man, i pog up.
1:44:50 spinny boy, i listen i wouldn't say it's a bad song. oh shit i just think it's it's a cut below the sublime standard that's set earlier by the the previous tracks on gout show do you think and i'm holding court for you? i'm holding space for you to defy gravity do you think that it's the worst song on gout show yes or no? and if know what you're entitled to say what's worse i can agree with that then we're all friends here. i
1:45:23 fuck it. it's like olive garden, bro. we're all family. they'll throw the dirt aside... wait, i can't... keena, one second. this is a tournament defining moment for me right here. they'll see inside my diamond mine, mine and mine, till the server is safe from the creeper guy. okay. okay. you guys, you should collab on this one. this could work. my rival's worse. it's literally possibly the second best song on the album.
1:45:53 you've never struck a match against the door of anthony's bar and grill. you've never been the whining stranger, a fool in love with time to kill, or you probably fucking have been him but you don't have the self awareness to know that you were the whining stranger. hey 19, a little overrated? i'll plus two that. i think it's a good song. i mean everything on gout show is minimum great, but i do think hey 19, a little overrated maybe.
1:46:28 crazy plays. i think i have 10 points. this is a 10 point hand just kidding. just kidding. it's uh, it's a 12,000 point hand. just when i say boy we can't miss you are golden then you do this and totally redeem yourself! gouch and goucher! goucher and goucher!
1:46:58 you would look good as a viking. real talk, there's no shot i would be like a viking warrior. like, fuck real life. i mean like in a movie, in real life. i'm probably the dude. i'm a scrivener maybe? i'm a scribe writing some shit down.
1:47:12 but i think in a movie, i have the right kind of visage. if i don't really have the acting chops, maybe i would have the acting chops. i don't know. you see, they got asap rocky in movies these days. maybe i'm an undiscovered acting talent as well. if they needed a cast like the thane of a norwegian duchy or something like that, or like a jarl
1:47:38 i think a fucking gold circlet on a male pattern baldness head goes so crazy with like a salt and pepper largely becoming salt sort of facial hair type situation. like i think i think but like and then there's some dude is gonna come in and be like, my king to be my pleasure to free you from this dilemma. and like he's gonna fucking kill me or something like that. and he's gonna have a name that kind of sounds like a snake. i'm gonna say leave me, leave me slurp.
1:48:09 i have much to ponder. i have much to i have yet much to ponder. slurp, i bid you leave. i bid you take leave. i have much yet to ponder. give me give i i because i think i'm fucking i think i'm hidden on something. i have much to ponder yet. leave me, slurp. you're my must you're my most trusted advisor and friend. though your form be serpentine, you have the actions of a true friend. great. fun game. surprise, bro. i'm in tenpai 2. you needed this shit too?
1:48:51 this just keeps getting better and better. you're never leaving this tournament? i feel like cabo verde, bro.
1:49:02 i feel like campbell verde bro. hey nl first disney cruise next week how cooked am i? not cooked at all you're probably going to have a great time unless you're part of like the 20% of the population that as soon as they get on the boat goes i gotta get the fuck off this boat. i don't know if it's like a genetic thing like you didn't have sailors in your lineage or something or maybe i did. it doesn't bother me but there's some important questions what uh what ship are you going on? i can give you some great
1:49:26 because the rest, listen, it's not like you're going to be like, oh one of the ships has like a five star restaurant in the quick service, okay? but i can give you some fucking meta tips.
1:49:37 i'm on the fantasy. i've been on the fantasy. i don't remember anything about it specifically, but if it has the mickey's barbecue quick service restaurant, my personal feeling is that it's comped because you already paid for it when you buy your ticket. i think it's underpriced in the sense that people don't go to it. i'm assuming because most of the people on the ship are from
1:50:01 like the southeastern united states or texas. and they're like, i'm not gonna get barbecue on the disney cruise, but the barbecue on the disney cruise is actually pretty fucking good, to be honest with you. instead, they're getting like the worst sandwich they've ever had in their lives, bro. so all i'm telling you, you can do whatever you want. don't sleep on mickey's barbecue, okay? there's some decent stuff. collard greens are good. the ribs are good. the chicken, they got a lot of barbecue sauces. the chicken's all right, but with the barbecue sauce, it's a lot better. and also, i mean, i can't stress enough.
1:50:31 get two cups of coffee from the percolator at night. put it in the fridge. wake up five in the morning. drink the two cups straight to the dome. and let me know if you don't have the most productive day of your fucking life. why wouldn't you just get an iced coffee? okay, go ahead and wait in the fuck ass line for the cove cafe.
1:50:50 could be 30 people deep because everyone's getting like a latte with donald duck in the milk foam, okay? i'd rather put my own life jacket on, okay? then wait for somebody else to put it on me. i'm on vacation, bro. i'm not trying to be productive. being productive on vacation means that you are producing more leisure. you're producing more leisure. you want less? you want less leisure on vacation. okay, well, you shouldn't have signed up for a disney cruise then.
1:51:23 cause that's... it's got leisure coming out of its... out of its portholes, bro. the round is about to begin. wait, we can say it like it's marvel vs. capcom. the round is about to begin! no, i think that fucking sucked, man. i think that fucking sucked ass. heaven or hell, let's rock! type some shit in chat that i could say in a... in a white guy in a japanese fighting game voice. now i can finally go all out! wait, that... that... dude! maybe i should watch anime. now i get it.
1:51:56 you can't escape me. another hand touches the beacon. this match will get red hot. you're up! a great slam and then some. heh, you look tough, but not as tough as me. no, that was more like a dub from a hong kong martial arts movie. do people still fap or is it all gooning now?
1:52:26 i'm being like half satirical but i think that the fapping died and gooning completely took over because of the hustle grind set. fapping is just an act of like self love. gooning is like it's trying to turn masturbation into a hobby. like you're grinding levels in baiting yourself.
1:52:44 when you're fapping, you're not like, oh i just got com xp or something like that. you're just you're just jerking off. but now you're like, i'm working on my gooning. i'm no no, i'm not doing nothing. i'm gooning. what the fuck? 8,000 points already? masturbations lost its fun, you're fucking gooning. da da da da da da da da da da da da. polly walnut's drumming. da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. bite my cliff bar, close my eyes.
1:53:13 20 grams of protein is nice. so damn buff i'm going wide and i smell like jim. he's now, he's working out. now he's working out. he's eating a protein bar and you want him to die. basically. who the hell's jim? oh, let me say it in a way that you could understand it. john shen fong? not much bro. shung chu nar with you. oh, thank you. if you reach it, are you quoting the beatles?
1:53:52 if i needed someone to drop the title that i am thinking of if i reachy someone i was talking about this in the discord i think it's one of the realest things i've ever said in my entire life when someone tells you that the beatles are overrated and then you ask them their favorite beatles song and they hit you with some shit from like 1962 pisses me the fuck off man you're not even a real hater
1:54:22 of course you think they're overrated when you're the only beatles song you've ever heard is like, da da dum da da dum oh yeah fake ass haters these days man when they were doing this fucking this fucking shit, this is the shit you see you see four lads from liverpool doing this? and you go, i hate you, i hate you, i fucking hate you, i hate you what's wrong with you man? you got a problem, you got a problem
1:54:59 he's a real ender man, sitting in his ender land, picking up his ender tiles for steve. that that that needs a little... it needs a little work on that, but yeah. despite what first time chat, despite what people are saying, i'm still enjoying the content. hope you're having a good day, NL. it's a crazy first time chat message. holy cow. that's so awesome.
1:55:30 oh shit, that's good. i got two hours of rem last night. they literally, so i think i told you thursday or friday, i got a 23 sleep score or something. it said i was awake for five hours. friday or saturday night, even though i felt pretty good. so i was like, i'm fucked up. i think i have sleep apnea. i'm in trouble. this is a masterclass in telling a story, okay? this is the beginning, a middle and an end. and a little reddit switcheroo at the end just to let you know. just a little streamer university behind the scenes for you.
1:56:00 so yeah, i was literally talking to the discord and i was like, maybe i should get checked for sleep apnea because i had like 70 wake up events last night. and they're like, yeah, you know, even if you're in pretty good cardiovascular shape, you can still get obstructive sleep disorders and stuff like that. so i said, damn, i guess i should do like a at home sleep study. then saturday night, they pushed a software update to my watch 90 sleep score, five wake up events, two hours deep sleep, two hours rem,
1:56:30 seven and a half hours duration whatever they put in that software update fucking fixed me bro set me up nice thank you samsung they patched me, bro they patched me overnight watch the world cup final at a sports bar yesterday where every tv was delayed from the other one so it sounds stupid but imagine actually how awesome it would be knowing on that first tv that spain scores the goal and then running
1:57:00 i'm imagining that they're in order, like everyone is getting further delayed from the first tv and running in order down the sports bar like, yeah, as they score on every subsequent tv. elias pettersson cup winning goal in 2029. let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay? okay, okay. that's me in the nether. that's me with the frog light fighting all the piglins.
1:57:35 that's actually, if i may, i'm positing that there's an untapped space, which is minecraft parody music, but for songs that are actually good instead of songs that are bad. because the kid doesn't care what the original song is, they just care that it's minecraft. so why not do some minecraft parodies of like mission of burma or something like that? like something that at least when it came on, i would be like, i appreciate the musicality.
1:58:04 teenager, i don't think it would work. i think my kid would still be like why is this seven minutes long? my kid doesn't appreciate the musicality of sonic youth. still probably has to be two to a maximum of four minutes long. actually, it could even be 50 seconds long. dude, you got it by voices! minecraft parodies! i'm crafting three picks to bring to the mind with me. that way if one of them breaks, i've got extra pickaxe for me.
1:58:34 iron pick is quite strong that is why i brought three you could take it totally. hey mine girls. yeah, which just warned me this might contain adult content it's mahjong. yeah, bro. plus hey twitch. we're in safe for work mode. okay oh, it's because of the beatles talk is for a mature audience. oh
1:58:58 i know they were pissed later in life. they were like, taxman was a bad look. i told you, i told you mate, we should never have made taxman the lead off track on revolver. which beetle got the most strange? okay, i don't think it's okay to call it strange. like it's not a doctor who broke his hands in a car accident, okay? and now he can manipulate time using the eye of agamotto. in fact, i think especially it's offensive to ringo cuz that shit was familiar to him. i don't know if you've seen,
1:59:29 get back the 317 hour long peter jackson documentary about how the beatles were not good co workers to one another. but basically every second of the entire, at least the first few episodes of the documentary is ringo showing up to the practice session with like a different girlfriend and then going, where's everyone else?
1:59:56 and sometimes paul is there and he's like, yeah, john said he's gonna be late today. then the next day, fucking john's there and he's going, paul may not come in. paul may not come in today. now that was not john lennon. i don't know what that was. that was paul. don't take issue with the paul impression. and then ringo is always, he's always sipping on a lager going, where's paul?
2:00:24 where's john? the thing is, they don't have to ask where george is because they know. they pissed him off because they keep like not paying attention to his fucking ideas. can i have my song on the album maybe? can i get we've got six john songs, we've got seven polls, maybe one george. you get nothing! pay attention! i don't talk to airheads!
2:00:57 and maybe we can get a ringo song. ringo, you had one last album, bro! you had one last album! octopus garden is a good song. if it's your favorite beatles song, you might need to grow up. but it's a perfectly fine song. ringo's best. i don't think anyone would dispute that. i'd like to be one of ricci. wait, we could... i'd like to be open ricci.
2:01:29 in my wife's mahjong tourney today we might laugh and goof around until my tile weight is found. and then we put minecraft in there somewhere.
2:01:48 beatles only accepted because everyone was high on acid in the 70s. most finely crafted walter white ass bait in human history. that's crazy. wrong decade, wrong drug. no they weren't. they were mostly eating tv dinners. that's fucking, that's baby blue walter white bait made under the fucking industrial washing machine, bro. please, please drop the tile i need, which is, ooh, one of those, one of those.
2:02:18 it's not a tile that drops too much. doo doo doo doo doo doo. oh yeah. i'm well acquainted with the tiles of the bamboo suit that would give me a yakuman.
2:02:36 waiting for the... i can't get it. he starts to say, he starts talking really fast after that, okay? drop me the tile or i'm going down down to the place where i don't make it to day four of the mahjong tourney influencer sumo would be sick. i would be fucking freaking out, bro me and speed in a sumo wrestling match when i see his ass running at me at like
2:03:05 i don't know, probably like 22 kilometers an hour. my ass is just getting the fuck out of the way. i'm done. i'm done. yeah, you might lose the speed. what do you mean might? he has like every advantage. i think he's younger than me. he's in better shape. i don't know. i might be a little taller, but it's not like i'm tall. i'm not like a tall guy. he can flip too. i did see the clip of when he met bts backstage at the world cup. and just like his literally his neutral a is a double jump.
2:03:38 that's so crazy. like he jumps like he when he when he taps the a button he doubles his height. it's insane. it's incredible. he's so springy. his stats his stats must be crazy. him and cracked out uncle. fuck that would be a crazy stream. i worry about cracked out uncle though. i think he might break his spine for real trying to impress speed. you have to make sure he has some kind of protective equipment. why does he always do a backflip when he's excited? i'm not like
2:04:10 one of the, one of the neat things that makes my stream humorous, i think, is the difference between my visage and the core of my soul. i look like, maybe like, um, the, the husband of mark wahlberg's ex girlfriend in a will ferrell comedy, but inside of me is, is steve o. if i could backflip, i would be doing that shit to the point where people would be like talking about me behind my back going like, just stop. i wish you would just stop back flipping.
2:04:38 i would just be there. i would just show up to pick my kid up from school and be like, what's up guys? it would be so awesome, man. i would be doing it all the time. what's stopping you? i kind of miss my window. honestly, when you start acting well, not acting your age, but respecting your age, at least you temporarily get younger. the oldest you can ever be is to be afraid of how old you are. so you're acting younger because then you're going to like
2:05:05 not be taking care of your joints and you're gonna step on like a loose piece of concrete or something like that and fuck up your leg forever. so it's like if you're 40 and you start acting 40 for a little bit you're gonna feel 36. ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie ronnie
2:05:50 ain't it just like first nights to waste? nicks digging down to stay alive. well i stand here panicked, though i'm doing my best to survive. and zombies hold the spade if it gets to me. where will i reside?
2:06:21 torches on my walls and my floors zombies beating down on my wooden door and my furnace needs a few minutes more so i'll just have to wait to explore i'd like to find a place with a crème now we're fucking talking bro but these visions
2:06:55 and then the... there it is. there's six minutes left, by the way. i mean, it's a great song.
2:07:36 i mind to iron ore and turn back because i, well i've started to regret my decisions. zombies they fight and they're near. but they're not the ones that i fear. oh their moans and their groans make it so unclear if the creeper is here. oh shit he's got the meter! he's got the meter!
2:08:08 i'd love to lay my cube shape head upon my pillow fuck these visions of the creeper that's blowin' up my base this is fuckin' awesome, man. this is awesome! ho ho ho ho ho! woah! now i'd love to build a more permanent house
2:08:43 not this ramshackle joe made of wood and stone, not dirt something cozy, a little bespoke i chop trees as he looks in the shadows of the dark room so many blocks to keep an eye on
2:09:15 it just got potential earnings limitations so maybe stop here. so the module doesn't make it to youtube anyway. this is just for you and me. okay, i mean listen this is awesome. i'm gonna listen to the whole thing off stream but we can't torture
2:09:49 the audience with that much bob dylan because they can't handle it because they're used to people who can sing. they don't understand. they don't understand bob dylan. they don't understand the artistry of it. what they do understand. oh, okay. but this, if i may, this is so close to the original song that there's no shot. this is making it out without a strike. the fidelity is too high.
2:10:22 that's just the song. skip past the part that's just steely dan.
2:10:50 you know who it is! i scrapped a batch of crimson doors for experience bar and grill. oh... i was the mob player, a tool of arms will kill.
2:11:16 experience bar and grill would be a good name for an actual spot. just one problem, gamers don't spend money. except on games.
2:11:34 they'll be min maxing the shit out of your menu. fuck me i guess? i'm not saying fuck you, i just i've noticed the trend that in the 2000s or the 2010s so many like video game themed bars where you could order a potion for mana or a potion for health opened up and every single one of them is closed down. now part of it i think is is my city
2:11:52 that is just a ruthless environment if you're trying to have fun without completely optimizing the restaurant experience to create profit to pay your corporate landlord. but the other one is i don't think they're getting enough. the ticket spend isn't high enough, bro. make the drinks gotcha. they did. they fucking did. they would have the thing on the menu where you could like roll the d20 and whatever you roll that corresponded to like a shot off the shop menu. they still couldn't make a word. they just couldn't make the numbers add up, man. now they're all they're all dispensaries.
2:12:21 which doesn't make sense to me still because the food at the restaurant was expensive and they couldn't make it work. but the weed is apparently really cheap but they can stay open. i don't understand, i don't understand. low overhead, high demand. i mean that's kind of like the streaming business i suppose. maybe we should sell pot. maybe that's the next step. maybe we should fucking sell pot on the stream bro.
2:12:51 or like you could buy... twitch should sell pot and then if you're like they'll put up a pop up that's like do you want to hit this shit? and when you say yes like it's like a fucking video drone like a little straw comes out of your monitor. big old fucking pucker up. i mean the internet is basically a tube full of electrons right? you're telling me they couldn't route some weed through the fucking tube to the end user? live selling comic books is a big thing?
2:13:23 i don't know man, maybe. honestly, i said it like i was some sage, wise old zen master of business, but i honestly have no experience and absolutely no idea. i feel like all the, vancouver is kind of like a different, i don't know if it's a harbinger of things to come for the rest of north america or if it's a truly unique market, but anything cool goes out of business for sure. including like, oh you wanted to have a bookstore?
2:13:51 fuck you, actually. oh, you thought it'd be cool to open a little bookstore and buy and sell books, huh? hey, buddy, how about you don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out? i've got a great idea for this place. oh, now that we got that bookstore out, hear me out. what if we put a for lease sign on it and fucking do nothing with it for years?
2:14:16 for years what if we what if because they can't make rent? we make no rent instead of some rent for a decade or so fucking dick edge man first time watching a stream of yours because you go live at 3 a.m.. for you if it's 9 a.m.. in vancouver where is it 3 a.m.?
2:14:49 if it's 9 a.m in vancouver, it's 3 a.m in time zones that are exactly 6 hours ahead. no, gemini, no it's fucking not. that's 3 p.m, you fucking idiot. however, it's more likely you're thinking of 3 p.m, which would mean a 6 hour difference behind vancouver. no, bro, i'm thinking of 3 a.m and also 3 a.m is 6 hours behind.
2:15:20 if it were 9am in vancouver, it would be 5pm in london. okay, who fucking asked, man? like what does this shit have to do with what i... i asked you a question that requires you to look something up. that's crazy. i guess i'll just ask you then, where are you from? because i would think, like i always think, and i'm guilty of this for sure, i'm like the western hemisphere kind of ends with hawaii.
2:15:46 and then hawaii it would be like 6 a.m when my stream starts so what's like three hours earlier than that or the next day oh you might live in new zealand and it's the next day guys give it to me straight by the way what's the best joni mitchell album i'm in the blue i like blue a lot i could keep listening to blue over and over again i listen to hijira i would say two to three times it hasn't quite
2:16:16 hooked me fully yet. i think i feel like i don't get it 100% yet even though it has some absolute slappers like coyote is an incredible song without a doubt and then this morning's ride was a double dose of court and spark and i was definitely fucking with court and spark. when i was listening to i was kind of getting a little outcho gaucho versus asia vibe. i was getting a little are you on the court and spark side or are you on the
2:16:43 the blue side, but they're both kind of amazing. learning mandarin was one thing, but i'm not fucking listening to joni mitchell to keep up with the jokes. listen, buddy, that's really funny. and you know why i know it's funny? because i made it up. no one in chat said it. i came up with what i thought would be the funniest thing someone can say in chat. and i fucking said it. that's right. i fucking said it. you should fake more chat messages
2:17:12 because youtube won't know? wait, that's a good idea. it's like every 10 minutes. hey, enel, looking sharp today. damn, enel, looking lean, bike's doing work. damn, you must have dialed in your diet recently. you're looking well rested and lean. yeah, thank you for that. thank you. all right, everyone stop. everyone stop. can i get... i want to take a creep shot here. i want to get down on my tummy and then kind of like chuck it under the branches.
2:17:43 oh shit, i've only got 17 seconds man. gotta be like that. watch this fucking heater bro. bounce the rock. bounce the... ooh dude that gives us huge leverage. why so many subs? no doms? sometimes depending on how hard you pedal, even the subs can have doms man. that is what kind of... i know, sorry to play the hits but everything i've learned about
2:18:27 the dynamics of homosexuality has basically come through twitch chat and i actually think it's a great source because instead of getting one definitive answer you get the whole range of answers but the one that i still it just doesn't make sense to me and i believe you but i find it hard to in like just to 100% a lot like i have to actively believe it it hasn't become a passive belief thing yet is that it's harder to find tops than bottoms
2:18:57 because it's just as a guy who's only topped, it's pretty good. you would think that people would be lining up for it, to be honest with you. use occam's razor? imagine how good bottoming must be. oh, fuck. wait a sec. using my own bias towards rhetoric against me? occam's fucking razor? mighty low at heidi lau? terrible news, y'all. i haven't been to heidi lau in a month, ever since i went there with
2:19:33 kate, corey and corey's partner and we ate so much meat that i literally had a meat hangover the next day. i had a big, had a hard belly. heidi lau is funny though because i think the restaurant's great but i was talking to one of the moms from my daughter's day camp and she was like, oh it's my daughter's birthday, we're going to heidi lau tonight. i was like, oh that's awesome, i love heidi lau. then i realized i had the same restaurant preferences as her daughter who just turned six that very day.
2:20:03 but fuck it, we're all human beings. food's food, bro. it's got cross generation appeal at heidi lau. pissing me the fuck off. michael buble ate at minerva's in carrysdale, vancouver, which is ryan reynolds' favorite restaurant. gets his own article written about him. michael buble gives major shout out to ryan reynolds' favorite vancouver restaurant. okay. what did he fucking say?
2:20:36 late to the party but i'm glad i finally made it. gotta thank my bro van city reynolds for the recommendation. minerva's is something special. huge thanks to nanda's and crew for the incredible food and hospitality. okay, okay dude. okay dude. so when michael buble says it's good, everyone creams their jeans. when i say it's just all right, everyone tells me to shut the fuck up. it's literally fine. it's even good because it's like, it's greek food. greek food is good. best restaurant in the city.
2:21:06 i mean, maybe the best restaurant in the city for a guy who moved away 25 years ago and has lived in los angeles ever since. if it's the best restaurant in the city, by the way, then why the fuck did you partner with tim hortons instead of doing your signature donut at minerva's? yeah, bet you didn't think about that. the ryan reynolds signature lamb shawarma plate. ryan reynolds signature saganaki. please start.
2:21:41 i'll get a half potatoes, half rice, but can we start with ryan's dolmades please? hold the ryan's sauce. give me the deadpool soufflaki. deadpool soufflaki! deadpool soufflaki! yeah, that's deadpool riding on top of a chicken breast. i think. something like that. or maybe a lamb? that's deadpool riding on top of a lamb. full set! what restaurant would you partner with? nando's. call me up, bro.
2:22:11 i got a great idea for ryan's signature nando's meal. it's a half chicken, one breast, one leg with medium sauce and puree fries. you could call it the number one. canada will be scary when alfonso davies stops being injured for a decade. i'm still mad at our manager, man.
2:22:33 he was honeydicking us with ad. he said, oh he's feeling... i know you watched him sever his tendons live on tv, but we just think 12 more hours of rest. if he had 12 more hours of rest, i think he'd be good to go. we all believed him, man. we all believed him.
2:22:55 they did! for the whole tournament they said he's just a diet coke and a nap away from being in game fitness. and we were eating out of the palm of his fucking hand! he did have that great pass against south africa. for sure. for sure. they just couldn't get him over a 90 sleep score. sorry coach, i just don't feel confident. is it your leg? no. samsung, my galaxy watch says that my energy score is 49 today and i should prioritize recovery.
2:23:26 you song's tilting at your discards? honestly, if you song's watching this hand, allow me to apologize, because i got very little going on. also, i forgot you can't even see my hand. so you have no idea, but my hand is not great. you song the guy that got knocked out? yeah, wait, we're taking his advice? the guy that got... we're not talking about practice. we're talking about the guy who's not in the tournament anymore, because i beat him. oh shit.
2:23:59 oh, oh fucking shit bro, sure. you will discard the shit i need. i am in your brain. i am in your brain and you will discard what i need. you will discard the card i need. you will discard the card i need. i think sanford and disco kind of gunning for the same thing. i put my skin in the game, bro. i got my ricci stick in there. please respond.
2:24:38 you see what you did? you wanted to avoid feeding the streamer and look where it got you. you fed the other person! and they got this 12 hon! you were so scared n.l. might make it to the next round that you fed the person at first! you should always deal into me because you know my hand sucks! that's the meta! you deal into me because you know i'm going for all simples! maybe i got the dragons or something, that's it!
2:25:08 these people are, they're sharks, they could have anything! you don't wanna deal into that! you wanna deal into me! that's a pretty good joke. the new health canada labels about high levels of sodium fats and sugars are awesome. now i know it tastes really good at the store. you know what i like? is that, um... like if you make a product in a factory, you have to put that on the label. but if you're just cooking up donuts, like, in the grocery store bakery section, you don't have to do shit, man.
2:25:42 you know what i'm thinking? they should start making doritos at the grocery store. yeah. so they can get around. we got a fucking fight. we got a, we got a fucking fight. you're feeding them. you're feeding them. and the pin fu and the aura. that's another man gone. you should deal into me. how was the sleep score? i think it was a 90 or a 93 last night. it was kind of crazy.
2:26:16 because i honestly i had the perfect use case for actually having a wearable because i woke up and said i don't think i slept well and then my phone went actually you slept amazingly and i went oh all right you are not your sleep score i am when it's good. it's the classic redditor right? i got the redditor facial hair a little bit too. fuck off i don't believe in that bullshit. oh protein!
2:26:43 fuck off. i don't eat processed food. but then when dr. robert irvine comes in with a 24 grams of protein crunch bar that tastes like a peanut butter cup, you know the one i think i would be a great if they ever do a live action, whoa, jack movie. i want to be like the shock tati of the live action, whoa, jack movie. cause i really think what? okay. obviously we got, that's a given. i also think i could easily do like, you know, the one i'm talking about when i do, when i do that one,
2:27:24 um, trying to think of what else. just that one's a given. and then when he's like, he's really like rotated back for the punch. i actually fucked up my shoulder blades on the fierce when i did that. i've seen enough. let's get this shit going. netflix call me up the whoa jack movie. that's huge. it's based on a four champ post. this is the next back rooms.
2:27:53 we could have a whole universe of 4chan movies coming next summer. think of it, a24 produced. i'ma fire in my laser. and then fucking like angel studios is like, we're launching the something awful universe. it's not a fast follow for the 4chan universe. it's not a fast follow. is nl good at mahjong? i have no idea how it works. would a guy who's bad at mahjong be among the final
2:28:24 28 players in a 70 player tournament with fucking prizes on the line i think but i've never looked into it because i didn't expect to be alive this long. oh shit. that's bad because i want to be in the top two. oh shit it never ends. it's alright we make it up could be worse. we're only on east 3 honda anyway. okay okay.
2:29:04 and it's alright. nice poker face. i know if i did that shit at the final table, the dude with the lizard sunglasses would be pissed the fuck off. first prize, amos numbers, mahjong tiles plus one book of your choice for mahjongpro's website. that's huge. i'm gonna get the odyssey. what's the biggest book? i'm gonna get an encyclopedia. well this does this functionally changes nothing. that doesn't bother me at all.
2:29:50 if anything, you two both being closer to this number is better for me. northernlion drives usong to drink compilation. we're still talking about usong, the same usong has been eliminated from the tournament for two weeks. this is the usong we're discussing right now. this is like dennis rodman saying he would lock up lebron. you know, as you... rodman thinks he would just force lebron to the left. as soon as lebron does this... one second, i gotta figure out what to discard. as soon as lebron does this,
2:30:21 trotman's gonna be like, i got him. then he's gonna, oh, you can't defend le fuck you. you can't defend it. because you watch, he's such a good actor. if you've seen trainwreck with amy schumer, he's such a good actor. he makes you think, he's looking down like, oh, i finally lost the ability to play basketball. and then just for a split second, you let your guard down. it's already done. by the time he pulls up, it's done.
2:30:47 rodman would lock him down. bro, he would not lock him down. he couldn't even lock down kim jong un. kim jong un literally put 80 points up on him in pyongyang. you know, i actually think i would have a chance against lebron though, because the thing is like, i don't know if anyone's ever considered this. you don't have to guard lebron. you have to guard the ball. all you have to do is you don't have to stop lebron. you just have to stop the ball. once you stop worrying about lebron and you start worrying about the ball, i think everything else falls into place.
2:31:15 you got the cardio on him for sure? that's so funny to say, but to be honest, it's also people are like, he's old and he's like, i think he's like maybe two years older than me. he's, which is crazy that, cause when i was 14, i was like, he's old, but now we're the same age. in fact, in many senses of the word, i'm the older man.
2:31:45 me after i have a dream where lebron asked me for help. i've got a resurgence of faith for a second. i, you know, i did, i did, i did the la, la, la mahjong fuck you. i did the la ron, la ron james. cause for a second i was like, wait, i'm going to lose in mahjong. and then i just said, nah, maybe that's how he does it. he also believes he sucks at basketball. and then he goes, wait, let's check money, money, money.
2:32:12 turning 35 this year, gotta get an old guy habit really quick? i mean there's a lot that i would go to bat for to be honest. i really think, and if you're young i know your opinion on this okay, waking up early is awesome. i really, i know we were talking about it earlier, i can't remember if it was mahjong or disc golf or whatever we were doing, but i said why would i wake up early on vacation? bro vacation is like one of the, oh shit that feels like such a bad discard.
2:32:41 vacation's one of the best times to wake up early because there's nothing stopping you from getting up as early as you want. also, i think it does depend on like when you're at your best. but you just have to make sure that you're actually a night owl and you haven't tricked yourself into thinking you're a night owl.
2:32:57 it was like as fucked up as it sounds. listen, on the weekend, we all got to do the same shit. we all got to buy groceries, do a little meal prep, do the laundry, et cetera, et cetera. we're all by the time monday rolls around, we're probably all going to have gotten it done. i love putting that first load of laundry in like 8.15 in the morning, having already gotten off the peloton, taking a shower, eating a little bit of breakfast. putting that first, if you've got to do three loads of laundry on the weekend, putting the first one in at 8.15,
2:33:26 oh, it hits so good. i've been waking up at 5.15 so long that it doesn't even seem, well, even my mama thinks that my mind is gone, but also it doesn't even feel early anymore. not everyone's a list crosser offer. okay, well, why don't you spend your whole weekend thinking, oh, i gotta do laundry before monday and then fucking do it at the worst possible time and cost yourself two hours of sleep?
2:33:54 because you didn't do it when you woke up. why don't you keep ruining your life by giving yourself the sunday scaries when you could just be knocking some shit out? 10 a.m., 10 a.m. saturday, put a load in the laundry? it feels good, man, because then you're buffing your enjoyment of everything for the rest of the weekend. it's not about being like, i'm on the grind set. it's about you can actually enjoy your free time more because the free time is free and unfettered instead of always having something in the back of your head that like, oh, but i need to get this done.
2:34:24 confirm, i usually leave everything for sunday and then sunday feels like monday too. but think about it the other way. if you knock out your groceries 8.15am on saturday, you get home at 9 and you go, holy shit, it's my fucking stupid ass friends haven't even woken up yet and i've already done my groceries. i'm literally winning. you get a mood buff for like three hours just for doing some shit, just for changing the order in which you do some shit.
2:34:53 you're still doing the same amount of shit, but you're just changing the order. why did you call your friends stupid assholes? because i'm waking up before them. obviously, because i'm waking up earlier than them. weren't you listening? late night out as a lead though. trust me when i say you're not going to believe it because i have gray in my beard. i've been there. i understand the beauty of the 2 a.m oblivion, okay? and i'm not talking about the elder scrolls.
2:35:22 when you get older it changes, it changes a little bit. for me nothing feels better and like i understand that this is old coded. having dinner with friends and the reservations at 5pm hits like a fucking truck. it hits almost as good as like hey checking your watch and seeing that it's 1am on a friday and you're still at the pub or whatever because you're like damn
2:35:47 5pm. we're going to be out of this joint by 615. maybe that gives us time to get gelato. we'll be home by 630 645.
2:35:59 still got time to give the kid a bath, leisurely not all rushed like wash behind the ears type shit. couple short stories in bed, all of a sudden eyes closed by nine, nine ten, maybe five minutes of phone. don't always get that luxury, five minutes of phone before you close your eyes. i'm not saying one's better than the other, i'm just saying, i mean not to ruin anybody's life that's watching, but if you're like 40 years old and you're like i can't wait to
2:36:25 be up at 1am drinking, you're fucked man. you're fucking fucked. you know that right? when you're 40, if you're still drinking, which i'm not but i understand why you would, you gotta do it in a day. you gotta get one beer as soon as you sit down at the restaurant for lunch and then drink it to the really fast to the point where it's like it gets down to this much and then when they come back to take the order
2:36:54 they'll go, do you want another one? they'll say it like that because they're like, you really drank that one really fast. and then you go, you know what? i guess i will. and then you go, and hand them the glass and no one will notice. no one will notice at all that somehow you found a way to turn a 45 minute lunch into like three beers, three beers at the 45 minute lunch. but that's because you came in with a fucking plan. yeah. do i hit the fucking back flip off that?
2:37:24 and then you're like, what? why is your lunch $14 and mine was $44? they must have made some mistake when the lunch beers come out sizzling. me when my triple ipa at my work lunch arrives, it's the third one i've had. me when my per diem covers the eight beers i'm having at the airport before my flight,
2:37:55 can you start pronouncing the t in sumo? bro, i'm still trying to pronounce the c in psi in mandarin, you know, like vegetables type shit. been told it's the tsh sound from that's high put together. sigh. i do spend every week i spend half of my chinese lesson with my it's a lot like fletcher versus miles teller sigma moments compilation.
2:38:25 from whiplash where she shows me a word that starts with z h and then i go well that's john and then she goes that's not it it's john and i go okay john and then she goes that's not it and i go okay do it again and we just kind of we kind of keep that up for like at least like two minutes per word and then she goes we'll come back to this later
2:38:57 and she's like, you're hearing the difference, right? and i have to break her heart. i have to go, to me, it's, i'm not saying it is the same, but it sounds exactly the same. oh shit. fuck. please, please, speed, i need this. my streamer's kind of pointless. please. what the? what the?
2:39:24 i'm begging you. i didn't say it, but i should. i'll sing it. i'll sing for my software if i need to. i mean 30 tiles. i think, you could do it or you could do it or you could do it so easy. or you could do it. you're not likely to do it based on what you know, but you could do it. it would be so easy. oh, shit. it would be so easy.
2:40:06 for you to just discard what i need, right? do i get to play the game? holy fuck, you brought her back. you brought her back into the, i might be in fourth place now. no, let's not go crazy. they're playing around me. they're scared of my aura. my god, my god, and the hand is garbage.
2:40:36 you song, if you're watching this i'm hypnotizing you to steal your power. i put you in a diamond bottle like velvet and veneer did to floyd from brozone in trolls band together and every i'm stealing your mahjong talent. i'm stealing your mahjong talent and i'm using it to get further ahead in the tournament. what the fuck is brozone? it's the boy band from trolls 3.
2:41:00 it's justin timberlake and eric andre and troye sivan. i'm not making it, it sounds like i'm being crazy, but it's true. this is the cast. this is the cast. i don't know who plays clay and i don't know who plays bruce, but you're about to tell me. daveed diggs was bruce and clay was kid cudi. no wonder they had the, no wonder the harmony was so cold. daveed diggs post hamilton filmography is kind of crazy, man. sebastian in the live action little mermaid.
2:41:30 clay in trolls band together. he's also in nickel boys. yeah, he also plays a very pivotal role in nickel boys. what's awkwafina up to? i have nothing against awkwafina, but it would be funny if she was cast opposite john bernthal in a two hander. can you imagine the banter between, may i ask you something, and what are you tom about? if just putting those together in a room
2:42:00 and just giving them a script like a my dinner with andre style script and then just letting them play. oh, that could be a picture, man. what's the two hander? it's a movie that is predominantly driven around two actors. you know, like a bucket list type situation where one hand's jerking off morgan freeman, the other one's jerking off jack nicholson while he eats a sandwich. how about you quit stroking my...
2:42:29 you interrupted me in the middle of what could have been a very good bit. how about you quit sucking my cock and get me an egg salad sandwich? how about you... i think i've lost. i think i'm too deep into the stream to rediscover the nicholson voice. how about you quit sucking my dick... no, he would say cock. how about you quit jerking my hog and get me an egg salad sandwich? something like that? would you wear sunglasses at a poker table?
2:43:02 nah, i mean, i was right. i was, let me put it this way, the right age to think that maybe i could become awesome at poker. because it started the online poker boom and it being on tv and stuff like that happened when i was in like the ninth or the 10th grade. so there was a time where i was playing like a lot of poker, not for money, obviously, because i was like 14. but
2:43:27 i was like, i could actually become good at this. and then i played in a tournament once. i just remember like i only played hands. i would fold down everything unless i had a goated, what do they call the first two cards you get? the pocket, yeah. i would fold down anything but like, unless i had pocket pairs or like suited consecutive cards, like let's say a six, seven of spades or something like that, i would fold it down.
2:43:56 and then every time i would be like, well, all call, everybody else at the table would just fold and i would make no money and i would just get whittled down, like in the most predictable way possible, i would get whittled down to basically have one blind left and then get forced to go all in with a garbage hand anyway, and then lose the hand and get eliminated without ever having made an impact on the table at all.
2:44:29 then in korea, i worked with a guy who was... he played online poker for money and he got screwed when the us cracked down on it. like he had money on one of the services when they shut it down. i remember one time he was like, hey, do you want to come to my poker game tonight? and i was like, yeah, what's the buy in? and he's like, it's 20 bucks. and i'm like, well, i don't really want to do 20 bucks because i'm just going to lose, but i'll hang out after. and he was like, no, i'll spot you. and then he spotted me and i did exactly the same thing.
2:44:57 no bluffs at all, just wearing my heart on my fucking sleeve. and then he was like, i wouldn't say mad, but i think he spotted me for the chance that maybe i would win and then kick him some back. and that is not what happened. he did basically just flush 20 bucks down the toilet to have a fish at the table, but the fish was also using his money. that's right. give me some. i gotta win this hand.
2:45:28 i have pocket aces, yes. i'm gonna raise. two hours into the tournament after folding every hand. let me think, i'm like playing with the chips a little bit. you know what? i'll raise you. i'm not gonna get there guys, there's not enough. no, that's not that bad. that's mahjong for you? you wanna see some mahjong?
2:46:05 here is some... oh my god! hah! hahaha! joke hell! hahaha! benny weiss! hahaha! joke hell! benny weiss! joke hell! grip zone! hahaha! oh my god! for the s***! hahaha! benny weiss! hahaha! benny house! hahaha! oh! oh!
2:46:33 i mean, if you don't, if you don't like that, if you don't like that, i don't know what to say. the fact that on the train there are still people looking at their phone is pissing me the fuck off, man.
2:47:02 why are you looking at your fucking phone? you will never see something like this in your life ever again. pennywise! what are you doing? what are you doing? just another damn day at the office. pennywise and joker on the train.
2:47:28 i feel like he just noticed there's something going on. he's like, wait a minute.
2:47:51 had the podcast cranked up too fucking loud, man. bro, like, okay, i don't want, i don't want to be evil. dude is acting like, oh, that's cringe. you're wearing a leather fedora. that's a leather fucking trilby bro. and you're like this, i'm too, i'm too good for this.
2:48:23 you got a plush? that's not a plushie. it's a damn baguette. oh my god, he has a baguette in his backpack. it's real. amelie is real. at least some of the people on the train are having a good time. if they did it in asia, it would be disrespectful. let's test that theory. hey chad, i ask this all the time. what's the name of the guy in korea who is very henchman coated and he goes like this? excuse me?
2:48:58 this is what it's all about, man. i gotta find the right one. i gotta find the right one. this is the guy i'm talking about. if i see this guy in public, i'm putting my phone in my fucking pocket. i'll tell you that much. that's awesome. i don't care who you are. if you see this shit, you stop and you take notice, okay?
2:49:37 i'm glad it's content for the stream, but i hate people who act like this irl. you hate people who like to bring joy to others. you hate people who like to spread joy selflessly. you hate this. so you hate this. this? you hate him doing flips to matrix music in korea. i don't care who you are. that's incredible. that's awesome. you can just tell he's an asshole. no, you can't, man. no, you can't.
2:50:12 what? you hate influencer, you're watching an influencer right now. this is like you're talking to your girlfriend telling her how much you hate your mom. like she's listening bro. he's an alright guy. he might be alright, he might be evil. i think you can't tell just because he's doing flips and getting attention. but i know the male psyche. it's a man seeking attention, he must be evil. he might just be goofy man. he might be evil, he might just be goofy.
2:50:37 what is he influencing us to do? fucking stop and smell the roses a little bit, maybe listen to some matrix music. two guys yelling on the subway while people are living their lives is annoying. they're not two guys. they're two very famous clowns, one of which is pennywise and the other one is the joker. there's not just two guys on the subway yelling. if i may, they're speaking loud, but they're not yelling. they're not just going,
2:51:09 they're doing a bit. they're talking to each other in character. the bit is that they're just loud? no, the bit is not that they're just loud! they put on makeup and like... you're being overly reductive! the bit is not loud equals fine. they're dressed like the joker! the bit is that it's what if the joker was dancing on the subway?
2:51:31 i'll take joker pennywise over two people publicly rehearsing hamilton any day. i'll take joker hamilton over a bunch of motherfuckers minding their own business bro. i would love, i would get, i would wait for the next train to see joker pennywise. uh, i'll uh, i'll raise you. joker versus hamilton is something. alexander hamilton!
2:52:09 how does a bastard orphan clown decorated batman villain that and then he goes on for like eight minutes. alexander hamilton, arthur dent, gent. i'm bent, let me explain. it's me and arthur dent, the joker on the train. we're doing a dance. i'm trying to find romance with eliza but our lives are shattered and i'm sitting in tatters. how does a badass? when he fucking goes off, you're like damn don't get in his way.
2:52:43 they're pulling the blindfold off and i'm seeing the real world around me for the first time. for the first time ever. i don't get to play the game. i don't get to play majo. because you get... you're literally better at getting dealt a great hand. because you went into richi on like the third draw, and then you got sumo on like the sixth draw! this game is a damn sham, man!
2:53:21 tile efficiency is a thing. see, give me 10 jokers versus 10 pennyweisers on the subway over your back seating ass. because they're spreading joy. all you're doing is making yourself feel better. i'm just going to tell you we have a screamer of a hand. i don't like to pass on those, but we got an absolute screamer. if i could just get one very nice tile, could we get just a beautiful tile?
2:53:58 this better be a three han hand. oh, i mean it's it's a minimum minimum three han hand right now and you know what i would fucking risk it all if you gave me the tile i go open richi and i hope you deal in and i get a half mangan or whatever the motherfucker what? hey! you do this to me! they just draw it! they just drawed the mangan!
2:54:29 why would anyone play this? why would anyone play this game? it's all luck. it's all luck. unless you're pandora yukagami, in which case it's all skill, but for everyone else, it's all luck. that would mean that i survived to this point because of luck, which is not the case. no, no, that ain't the fucking case. i don't know the current state of the blue collar comedy tour, because i feel like the only comedians that i know of are giving me imposter syndrome during
2:55:01 mecha chameleon or alternatively it's like all our friends in california don't return our calls anymore so we move to texas. so like but i don't know if that podcast slash politics comedy is adjacent to the blue collar comedy tour because i always kind of got the vibe that yeah maybe larry the cable guy might have voted red all the way down the ticket but he was kind of chill with you as long as you get him as long as you can bring me a medello
2:55:31 come on. hey, man, you could do whatever you want to do as long as you get that truck nice and shiny. if he did some shit like that, i mean, i don't know, i could be very wrong, but they're not authentic. and that's the worst part, the hypocrisy. this is the norm macdonald bit. they're all here. i got it. i got it. every time i think about the clip, i have to watch it. all the stars are here.
2:56:03 and joining us in the show before the show living room is host of norm macdonald live on youtube, the wonderful norm macdonald. yes, and jenny, all the stars are here. do you want a microphone, norm? yes. is that my tree? what a disaster. jenny! what? all the stars are here. it's true. beardyman, clod racine, dax flame, betty fox,
2:56:30 find and raffi find all the stars. you really keep up with all that. right here tonight, oh yes. harley morinstein is here. alright, and we also have comedian todd glass. he'll be hanging out backstage with some of tonight's guests. and on the red carpet we've got comedian kulat vailisak. i feel like todd will be struggling to know these people.
2:56:53 i'm sorry, i'm going to continue with the what the computer says normal. i'd love to talk to you more than this computer the computer says even though i really i do love you norm. i think you're one of the best we're also gonna be talking to you though. i know i'm no harley morin stein. you're not norm, but you gotta just just let me read this fucking thing though
2:57:21 oh, we're back. i just have word that all the stars are out. rhett mclaughlin and charles lincoln neal just were spotted. all the stars. it was good to see those workaholic guys because i personally am a workaholic. for many years, i was helplessly addicted to workahol.
2:57:42 they would all die because people back then didn't know how to swim. i'm being told that we have to wrap it up, which is unfortunate. i want to talk more about witches. all the stars are here. bobby mcferrin just showed up!
2:57:57 norm, didn't you used to host the news on saturday night live? i know man, this whole thing's got me thinking, i gotta fucking get back on tv. okay everybody, we're just moments from the big live comedy show. norm, do you feel ready? what? i'm not gonna do anything. no, you're wearing sweatpants, you're not gonna do a damn thing. do you wanna apologize for everything that you've said or anything? what am i saying? i don't know. wait a minute, i just found out someone else is here! oh, jeez. oh, damn it.
2:58:23 it's so crazy that the other person in that clip is jenny slate. oh my god, oh my god, you're fucking troll. and i'm the dealer so i have to pay you twice as much. okay, well at least it's nothing. i felt bad for jenny slate. jenny slate obviously just trying to finish this fucked up youtube comedy awards gig so she can cash the check. and norm macdonald, seasoned veteran knowing they're not gonna hold the check back. no matter what happens. they got you signed the agreement, they gotta pay you.
2:58:57 so, barring catastrophe, you can pretty much do whatever you want. still alive? yeah, bro. the cake is a lie. gabe knew, man. gabe knew. gabe knew ai was bad in 2006, man. that's why he's the fucking goat. doesn't... and i don't hate gabe. i think it's crazy. i mean, if anything, it's amazing that he takes 30% off the top of every sale that's ever... that's ever been done on steam and people love him for it.
2:59:27 because he made the best store to spend your money at. but anyway, doesn't he own a company that makes yachts? meanwhile, one guy tries to run a little one time cruise and all of a sudden everyone loses their minds. truth or truth, nuke? just one, just one little, one little cruise. but he can have a company that makes cruise ships
3:00:02 and he's wholesome chungus or whatever they say these days? hoop nuke incoming! i would open the strait of hormuz for you if you asked. spinny boy, that's dead ass, like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. that's got serious, like, international implications, man. i think you'd get in a lot of trouble. that might make everybody mad. i don't know. i don't really... i'm not fully sure the implications of people... who's got it open? who's closing it? it seems like it changes a lot. please.
3:00:39 please, you can't possibly know what i need. you can't possibly know what i need. give it to me. give me the fucking, keep me alive. keep me alive. don't you sumo on me. you keep me alive. i know your game. if you won, you would have won by now. won it now. won it now. yeah, pawn it and discard what i need. you throw me into uncle fester. please, please discard what i need. we have to.
3:01:19 what the fuck? i'm still in ricci. that's right. okay, you have to try. you can con without ruining your ricci. they're out there, man. there's no way they're not out. let it go. let it go. anton, let it go. you will discard it. you will discard it. it's the last four. it's the last four in the wall, bro. or i mean in the wherever you draw from in this game. please give it to me.
3:02:17 give me the tile, give me the tile. we go again. where are they? they know they're scared, they're scared. they don't want me, they're all working to get all the tables are cross talking going you can't let this guy get through. he's making a mockery. he's making a sham out of our skill based game. yeah, call him mockery. i'll just say it. i would have, i'm not saying that speed is a backflip merchant. he's got other stuff going on for him.
3:03:15 but being able to do a backflip at will is plus 1 million youtube subscribers. if you already have momentum, you can't just be like i'm the backflipping gamer because that, a, it sounds like a flight of the conchords lyric, but then also it's just like people would be like i'm not gonna watch you just do backflips. but if you already had some momentum and then you could get a clip of you hitting a backflip after you like got a kill to win a pubg game or something like that, that alone could get you half a million subscribers just by itself. especially if you never let on that you could do it. fuck it, maybe i should
3:03:45 trading my chinese lessons for backflip lessons. is it too late? i bet. i think if i could learn to backflip by 40, i could do it until i was 45. missing one is game over. that's true. if you're 21, you could do a backflip with some nunchucks. and then even if you miss it and you get up and you're going, you probably just wake up the next day with a little bit of a headache or whatever. but
3:04:14 kate told me, so she watches a korean streamer. she told me he got injured in a way that he couldn't stream. he can't stream, i should say for 2000. just so just to eliminate me, just to eliminate me. you just throw out a tanya with one dora. anyway, long story short, he got injured to the extent where he can't stream for one month. what happened?
3:04:44 he's 40 something and he misstepped on the sidewalk and then one of the tendons in his leg snapped and like shattered the bone it's attached to into like a hundred pieces. just because he stepped on like a piece of cobblestone or something like that that was slightly off level. and he can't stream because if he sits down for
3:05:13 you know, five hours or something, all the blood will pool in his leg. so he has to like constantly lay down, rotate, change positions and stuff like that. damn, you're really just one bad beat away from your body being like, i'm done with this shit. you can still stream? that's like a boro kate's dad's ab machine that looks like an old torture device and just stream upside down.
3:05:46 to a backflip to reset the blood. like when you shake up a drinkable yogurt, your viewership would double. it might go up 50% because i would go from like 6666 to 9999. a little bit of an optics joke for you with the side of math. oh what amber? nice ron. what i can't sneeze? do they have that in canada? what the fifth amendment?
3:06:20 i think we probably have some kind of don't we have a charter right to avoid self incrimination? i still don't i mean, listen, obviously i don't have my jd, let's put it that way. i still feel like if you were asking someone, hey did you do that? and they said, my attorneys advised me to plead the fifth amendment, wouldn't i then be like, your honor? oh, that's fucked because i have to pay you twice as much for your sumo, but
3:06:53 the whole point is you gotta prove it. so what you're saying is that enough people plead the fifth when they're actually innocent, it provides cover for the imposters. as long as we get enough innocent people to invoke their fifth amendment rights, then it becomes an aoe buff, including the people who actually did that shit. it's a blue button situation, thank you for bringing it back!
3:07:25 well as i have to say, at 4, shonten in third place having come in third in the last round, i think this might be it for our intrepid hero bro. i think i might be fucked. at least we went out in the best way possible with nobody ever dealing into us and everybody winning with sumo on the sixth tile draw of the round every single time. you did good not like you song, you song don't listen.
3:07:54 you probably went out doing like a cool like, get behind me! something like that, right? knocked out cold, pooped his pants. i mean that's your body just does that. he didn't poop his pants. everybody's body poops their pants when they get knocked out. i'm not going to judge the fiber of his character as a result of that. he pooped before he got knocked. he saw the punch coming and pooped and then he got knocked out.
3:08:17 i don't think you could okay sherlock holmes. because i i see what you're saying, you're like, there's no pinch at the top of the loaf. this one came out clean. his if he that's actually really good. how could how could you possibly tell that, holmes? where would you and me shit? watson, does it just fall out or do we pinch? well, of course we pinch, inspector.
3:08:53 but look at this! no pinch mark on the top of the stool. this man was unconscious as the shit left his body! this was daniel plainview? they all kinda got the same thing going on. there was an ice pick in his ass and it melted leaving no evidence. of course.
3:09:15 they're saying you song went out like yeah he went out like mouse. he looked at the stats and he went no no no and he opened up his richi case and he pulled out six dora. we had no idea how good we had it during hak to a summer. speak for yourself librarian pull up the hak to a compilation.
3:09:37 i was glazing hock tua every chance that i got and you guys were telling me that she was a financial criminal. i did see that hock tua made a statement. i want to start by saying thank you to all my true fans and all the people that actually watch my stuff and they keep up with me. we're trying to sort out all the pieces and stuff to like get all this figured out and make everything right. oh my god i'm gonna cry. no don't cry, don't cry. don't cry, everything's gonna be good. we're gonna be good.
3:10:04 all i'm gonna say is everybody is like a prison abolitionist until it comes to hakuta. i might be the only honest person out there on planet earth. i don't know if she should go to prison or not, because i'm not a lawyer. i anal, okay? however, all i'm gonna say is that i fully believe that she is stupid. a hundred percent. and did not know what was going on.
3:10:35 i fully believe that it's and i have no proof but i'm also not on the jury so i can say whatever i want. i fully believe that a situation that's very plausible is that she got approached by someone who was like, hey you love crypto what if we work together to launch tuacoin? and she went, all right y'all going to bed.
3:10:57 and didn't think about the implications. and also, the other thing i want to say is everybody that got scammed was trying to scam. she scammed the scammers. everybody knew it was a pump and dump. they just thought they would be the ones dumping when it turns out that they were the ones pumping.
3:11:18 and i know people say stupidity isn't a defense, but it's actually like the most op defense of all time. what do you mean it's not a defense? i'm dumb. like i know that it's it like they have to patch it a little bit, but like i just because ignorance of the law is not like a defense against committing a crime, but like it kind of is because how was i supposed to know it was illegal if i didn't know?
3:11:44 that's why i wish you motherfuckers would stop telling me that shit's illegal. because it's like a basilisk, man. you're making me you're putting my behavior in too narrow of a box. every day there's a new thing that i learn i can't do. procco's basilisk. i like that. you think she didn't know that it was illegal? yes. i i i honestly i don't think that's that hard to believe because a, she seems not very smart. and secondarily,
3:12:14 i also think like in retrospect, it's off you can encapsulate it. it's a pump and dump that's illegal but before it happened do i expect her to be familiar with the fact that there's horrible connotations to the foundation that creates the coin holding like 99% of the supply and then there's gonna be a 10% burn rate every three months and stuff like that and we can only bet yeah i expect her to not know shit about that to be honest with you. i really do.
3:12:46 i expected like probably 98% of human beings on the planet don't know shit about that. myself included. yeah, but if you don't know shit about it, you shouldn't be doing it. yeah, obviously buddy, but she's hawk tuah. like, you know, it's like getting mad at like a child for eating candy or something like that. she's hawk tuah, dude. what do you want me to say? i'm not infantilizing women. i'm insulting the intelligence of hawk tuah.
3:13:17 also, it doesn't matter if she's smart. that's not why she's famous. she's famous because she's a really good podcaster. not everybody has to be smart. you know, different people have different talents. she should have stopped at the podcast. well, i'm sure that's what she's thinking too, to be honest. i'm sure in her head she's like, well, i didn't stop at the dang podcast, y'all. kinda screwed the pooch on that one, y'all. can i?
3:13:43 she's thinking about her next scheme. i think it's crazy that you simultaneously think she's dumb but also like a criminal mastermind. that seems like madness to me. i'm not saying she did nothing wrong. i'm like, i'm more saying like, you know, when your dog eats some shit on the ground and you're like, why did you eat that? it's like, buddy, it's a dog. why'd you leave the shit on the ground? like that should, you're a human being. you should have known.
3:14:08 i'm basically saying like, and you could call this victim blaming because it is, but like if you bought the coin and lost money, you're about as smart as a dog, i guess is what i'm trying to say. like you need somebody else to have control of your finances. i mean if you lost like 250 bucks that you could afford to lose because you were trying to scam other people, i get it.
3:14:32 but like, if you lost more money than you could afford to lose, you need to give control of your bank accounts to either your mom or your wife or like somebody else in your life that you trust. because you've demonstrated possibly the worst judgment in human history. no, i'm not about to get raked over the coals by wall street bets. if anything, i'm about to get raked over the coals by like r slash cryptocurrency, but crypto is spelled like with an i and two ps instead of with a y.
3:15:01 i don't, i don't, wall street bets i think that we would probably share like a similar opinion on this. which is troubling. oh, when you use your left most item, burn two! and when you burn, reload! hang on, fellas. that's true, it actually is immoral to let a sucker keep his money or whatever. the most recently discovered element, tennessine lines up, hocktua out of prison by the way, i saw that, hocktua out of prison!
3:15:31 now i know the administration's done a lot of controversial stuff, but that they hit the nail on the head with that one. they freed my girl, which is good because i i literally just caught up. i just pookie just got revealed to me. so i'm basically ready to get the ground running as soon as talk to what comes back on. and now you're like, oh, we didn't know. i wish someone would have told me it was the good times when it was before the good times were over. i was fucking telling you.
3:16:02 i was telling you it was the good times and you were telling me she should be in prison for having a little fun. a double chicken chunk, chocolate bake, cookie chunk, chicken chocolate, cookie chunk. as long as you hit the tones right, it actually does come out pretty good. i mean, we can't do open, richie. this could bring us back from the brink. that's the last action i have to take in the tournament.
3:16:32 now i'm walking away from the table like jeff mangum at the end of the ddddd. she did not do insider trading. she did a rug pull is very the rug pull is probably much worse honestly. i mean she might be my hero i'm not so no poverty is nerf bro. you know what perfect way for the match to end with yet another with sumo 27 or something. sumo, sumo, sumo sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure,
3:17:10 um, we're probably fucked. well, i will send you over to other games are going on. it's going to take 30 minutes for final rankings. that's fine. i will send you over to my wife's stream. am i out? i would bet on me being out unless a miracle happens, but, uh, i had a good stream today and i'll see you. i won't see you on time tomorrow. i will be late tomorrow.
3:17:33 we gonna let him know. i won't be here at 9am, so don't look for me at 9am. look for me at 1030 11am. hopefully. but i'll try to keep the discord posted as best as i can. later! he's a good guru, crazy about minions, got minions, and the overalls too. steve's storage is a large chest filled with sand.
3:18:07 he's become a new world man that's listen it takes a lot to get me to go with the third world man reference, but smoking pork chops he's been smelting or since dawn now he's mining all night long. he's a new wait, but the next part is the the part where you really have to land it or people are gonna be like well that was clever but
3:18:41 a little bit third aside. wait, i can't... they'll see inside my diamond mine. mine and mine, till the server is safe from the creeper guy. okay. okay, i think you guys should collab on this one. this could work. if i needed someone to drop the tile that i am thinking of,
3:19:12 if i reach ye someone, i'd like to be open reaching in my wife's mahjong tourney. today we might laugh and goof around until my tile weight is found. he's a real ender man sitting in his ender land.
3:19:44 picking up his endertiles for steve. that, that, it needs a little, it needs a little work on that, but yeah. it's not a tile that drops too much. do do do do do do. oh yeah. i'm well acquainted with the tiles of the bamboo suit that would give me a yakuman.
3:20:14 drop me the tile or i'm going down, down to the place where i don't make it to day four of the mahjong tourney. okay, okay. that's me and the nether. that's me with the frog, light, fighting all the piglins. i'm crafting three picks to bring to the mine with me.
3:20:44 that way if one of them breaks i've got extra pickaxe for me iron pick is quite strong that is why i brought three