i was panicked - Bits and Banter [05⧸11⧸2026]

Name: i was panicked - Bits and Banter [05⧸11⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-14
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "i was panicked - Bits and Banter [05⧸11⧸2026]" — 142 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-14

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0:02 anyone else here live in british columbia get woken up at 1 a.m. by the 110 decibel amber alert that came through over the emergency services.
0:13 i don't want to be the guy who's like arguing against amber alerts. the optics of it are really bad. but like when i wake up to at one in the morning and then i look at my phone and it's like 14 hours away, someone got kidnapped and i'm like, all right, man, like, i'm not sure what you want me to do. hang on. let me go back into my dream. maybe they were riding behemoth at canada's wonderland. like i
0:41 i'm closing my eyes and searching my dreams for a woman who's 5'4", who's hopefully wearing a name tag. because i have her name and her height, but i don't know anything else about her.
0:54 it did. not only did it scare me, it scared me that my wife and daughter did not wake up. i was scared of how good they were at sleeping. i was like, that's incredible. but also i was impressed with myself because that shit went straight to the brain stem. i muted the notification on my phone in less than half of a second if i had to guess.
1:12 try living in tornado country? i'm a different kind of beast. like if my house was being beset by 200 kilometer an hour cyclones reliably for three months out of every single year, i'd probably get the fuck out of there, i guess. i wouldn't really be complaining about being woken up by the siren that's like, hey, your house is about to get picked up by a big tornado. i'd probably be like, thanks for the siren, man. i appreciate it. i'll go down into the basement. i'll go down into the damn storm cellar.
1:40 i appreciate that greatly. that is correct. what have you just sucked up the tornado? like the tornado is about to hit your house and you just like breathe out really like until your lungs had zero air and then you went you just sucked it all up. one reason it wouldn't work, i got lightheaded just breathing in air that was not moving at all or not moving any more than you know the average the average air moves in a room.
2:14 can you make your viewers stop posting i was drunk or i got here from nl in the comments of youtube videos? no, um, i make fun of youtube videos like you and i are on the same side. i make fun of youtube commenters all the time. but i also have to make fun of you now because what are you expecting in the youtube comments when the youtube comment is a quote from the video that you watched the youtube video because you wanted to see the quote like what do you expect bro? you're part of the fucking human centipede.
2:38 you're literally mad at the people that are like two assholes in front of you in the human centipede of content recycling. you're like, fuck, what? god, the two dude, the dude, two dudes in front of me, his shit smells so bad. not my, my shit smells good. my shit, i'm doing a favor for the person whose mouth is sewed to my asshole. the dude, two dudes in front of me, man, his microbiome is all fucked up.
3:05 it's either that or, as far as youtube comments go, it's either that or someone making up a story. so i'm sorry, you didn't live the plot of heaven or las vegas. nobody even knows what heaven or las vegas is, man.
3:19 vip daniel, you think i... you ever see the... one second, i'm accepting my premiere cue. do you ever see the bruce coburn album cover for his greatest hits? he's literally faded off the henny. i was thinking about making my new steam username faded, bruce coburn faded off the henny and then taking that album cover as my profile photo. you guys have a friend that you would feel comfortable getting a vasectomy with? maybe they are the best friends of all time.
3:45 i don't think i have a friend that i get a vasectomy with. i don't know. i mean honestly, if myself messed up, i wouldn't even mind like sitting side by side with a stranger while i get a vasectomy. that doesn't really bother me. but i don't know. it's... i'd have to think about it at least. i'd have to ask somebody. i don't know who i would even ask. and an unlovable hand. wait, mountain goats reference? me talking to my sperm? i hope you die.
4:15 i hope you both die, because i've been wearing briefs for like 35 years or whatever. i hope i cum myself jerking tomorrow. i hope i jizz all day long. our friends say you're horny before the cum rises. we're pretty sure they're all wrong. wait, do i have a good fucking john darnielle in there somewhere? do i have a fucking good john darnielle somewhere in there? not really. he's got a little ben gibbard.
4:48 it is time now my brothers, by the way i didn't vote for this, i voted for nuke so don't be mad at me. should have picked egypt. me in the um... ancient civilizations fantasy uh... humanity draft. i mean no, i'll just say rome is probably coming off the board number one. if i had to guess. rome's pretty popular these days. he went down like a it was a fucking shooting gallery did you see that? give me mesopotamia? bro, but rome has so much more um...
5:19 so much more cache. like there's some shit from the people are still drinking pliny the elder, man. comes to mesopotamia, you'll hear some shit about like, you know, the code of hammurabi or whatever, but babylon clears? whatever, bro. you go hang out with ashurbanipal. i'm going to be picking up the fucking akhmanad empire in the third round. what the fuck am i even talking about, man? it's too early on a monday to be talking about this shit. i don't know.
5:47 you know what pissed me off? on my question of the day jeopardy calendar, i didn't do it for a day. so yesterday's was like catherine of aragorn was the mother of this english royal. i said, fuck, i don't know. queen elizabeth i. wrong motherfucker is mary the first. dumbass. so i got it fucking wrong. and then i flipped the day and then the next day on the calendar said this potato crisp brand also comes in a party
6:16 party tube size and i went oh that's pringles. it's basically like by getting a question wrong and then getting a question right, getting the question right made me feel stupider. like i felt smarter when i was close to getting the question wrong about english royalty than when i snap pack one pick one was like yeah that's pringles bro. guys we're up 2 0. nice molly. too bad it came out way
6:45 too fucking slow. literally you're dead, he's blinded. i want the i want the assist. i meant to ping but i forgot what button it was. it's gonna be awkward for you in the unban request, buddy, because you're gonna have to reckon with what your last message was. two ops and a deagle? yo, this is this is perfect. looks like i'll be getting an op. what the fuck i have in there? what the heck? ooh, i can't wait to tell you all about it. he can't wait to tell you about his new girl. i can't wait for you to sing and shout it out. nice try.
7:32 bugle flash, you got me? you got me? you got me real good. got me real good. i forsake you devil.
7:39 can i tell you something without ruining someone's life? i got my kid a happy meal from mcdonald's this weekend. right now in canada, they have stranger things toys. me and my kid had a heated argument over what her toy was. i maintain, as the one of the two of us who've seen at least a little bit of stranger things, that it's a demogorgon. it's like a plant monster that has a lot of limbs and it opens its mouth really wide. it has a lot of teeth. my kid maintains, what a great grenade by the way,
8:08 my kid maintains that it's not the demogorgon because the demogorgon has a red mouth. okay? so we're at an impasse. i google mcdonald's canada stranger things toys. top result, a reddit post from someone crashing out.
8:22 i just got my kid a happy meal from mcdonald's and the toys are stranger things. please keep the sex, violence, obscenity out of i will not let my child be raised with the pedophilic hollywood tendencies of our modern culture in the name of jesus christ, i compel you, i will never shop at mcdonald's again. buddy, you're at the risk of being a hypocrite.
8:46 you're feeding your kid chicken nuggets from mcdonald's. like you got bigger problems, man. we gotta focus on the six inches in front of our face here, man. you can just be like, you can get a, oh, motherfucker! you can get a book instead. when you get to the fucking kiosk, you can say i'll take a book instead of a toy. no, sorry to say it, k pop demon hunters' meal is not in canada yet. it's not here till i think this wednesday.
9:12 bro knows the day. my wife's excited. i just, i don't know what i'm going to do if she gets the saja boys meal. i mean, if she gets the huntrix meal, that's one thing. if she gets the saja boys meal, i don't know what i'm going to think, man. the crossovers and the collaborations, even i know you don't slow peak that with an op, man. you know, they've been fun. and of course, you know, i leave a light on for the nether sauce.
9:37 from the minecraft movie promo that they did last year. but they gotta start coming out with some shit that kinda moves the needle a little bit more than like, hey for every single movie we've got an exclusive nugget sauce, okay? just we tweaked the flavor scientist formula by like 1% and now we got a special nugget dipping sauce that's like, it's basically just ranch. i'm just saying we could do a little better.
10:05 how about making the nuggets shaped like minions or whatever, man? damn, that's gonna sting. literally, i shot him in the head. i got the headshot indicator, so he's hit for 98 or something. are we ready for this serious conversation that actually i'm such an asset to my team because i'm the only person who's willing to tank his stats to entry frag and everybody else just wants to fucking chill in the angle until the round ends?
10:32 nobody else is willing to be the first man in. my dylan obsessed brother said new morning is his favorite album. not even fucking with you? it's possible to listen to too much bob dylan. you know how in slay the spy or two you could have like an insane discussion?
10:47 about like what card to upgrade at a campfire. and meanwhile, like the zero iq and the 200 iq were both saying upgrade your rarest cards. i think it's very bob dylan coded. a dylan head who's not quite ready for the conversation will literally crash out over like self portrait versus street legal. meanwhile, everybody else is like, just listen to the ones from the sixties and seventies and then pick one. pick an outsider choice to be your favorite from
11:16 from any era after that. for me it's modern times, man. i know that's an unusual choice as well, but for me it's modern times. okay, well that's my bad. no way, bro. i kind of like the way he sounds on modern times. spirit on the water, spirit on the dock of the bay. what a shot, man. holy shit, he's fucking cracked.
11:46 now is it as good as love and theft? i don't know but you know i was like 11 in 1999 and diana krall won like 500 grammys. i just don't ever have to hear to make you feel my love. i don't need to hear that song ever again to be honest. gay otis redding be like sitting on a cot cuz i'm gay. cool cool
12:11 so you're stealing a joke which is normal on twitch but do you know who you're stealing it from? do you know are you aware of who you're stealing the joke from?
12:23 i laugh at the dog years and years ago. i saw a comic in some horrible club bombing with a guitar and he sang us it not a cock cuz i'm gay it's not john tron it's not it's not john tron. no, it's not a it's not a podcaster. it's noted film director. i think he was the voice of the dog in the first secret life of pets and
12:50 believe they replaced him for the second one. yes from talking funny on hbo with ricky gervais oh! ricky gervais chris rock loved to be in the smoke circle with the talking funny guys so they could explain why the funniest shit of all time actually sucks if that was completely my bad if i may though, we do be parking on driveways and driving on parkways mmm, you go flash
13:31 oh my god, oh my god i got two blind grenade kills. oh my god i'm incredible!
13:45 finally googled bob balaban, now i get your username? i mean, tell me, dead ass, if you're seeing bob balaban for the first time, tell me that he wouldn't have a different energy with a fucking earring. with one earring? he goes from like mild mannered middle manager, which is like an esl training sentence, to like metrosexual 90s alternative like adult contemporary artist.
14:11 yukio mishima was killed by a far right activist? damn. how do you think mishima's body dysmorphia would have fared in the era of the marvel cinematic universe? i honestly like... i mean having seen the movie, the movie's incredible. don't get me wrong, i've never read any of mishima's works. i feel like if he were alive, he would have had like an absolutely fucking horrible podcast.
14:35 it is paul schrader. guy who gets paul schrader confused with paul scheer? yeah, dude, it's the dude from it's the bald dude from human giant. yeah, man, it's the one guy who gets paul scheer confused with rob corddry? yeah, it's the it's lou from hot tub ti it was directed by lou from hot tub time machine. greatest movie ever made, i won't budge. you know what's crazy? oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,
15:00 is watching mishima, a life in four parts, and looking at it and going, this is the most beautiful movie that's ever been made, and then googling, how many awards did this thing win? and finding out the answer is basically none. even though it has the greatest sets, the greatest production design, incredible cinematography, and an unbelievable score at a minimum. finding out that it's one fucking nothing, bro.
15:28 was the earring a hoop or a stud? honestly, i think bob balaban could get away with either. i think the stud with the male pattern ball in this horseshoe and this little like curly goatee is more like r&b singer. and then the like a little hoop is like, i don't even know, like just it has so much aura, but either way i think is
15:52 either way would be a serious aura gain. not that he needs an aura gain, like he's already a great character actor, but that's pretty close though. you do your senses, corey? i did. annoying.
16:07 i think it's really funny though. noisy. they ask like six times if you're like hiding people in here. they do. is there anybody that you had to second guess whether you should include them on the list of residents? are you sure you told us about everyone? is there anyone here who's like just like hanging out for a little while? you get woken up by the amber alert last night?
16:37 i was awake. oh damn. so it was like just another day at the office for you. corey, you've never seen um you've never seen mishima life in four parts? i don't think so. you would love it. it takes place in japan. i do love japan. is it is it like a modern film or uh? that depends on how snobby you are. it is from the modern era, 1984.
17:03 but i am on that criterion shit, so i'll literally, i'll watch a movie from like 1963 and go like, this is modern. yes, yes, yes. you would love mishima, corey. yeah, would i? yeah, i think you'd be fucking with what he's putting down. i can't, i don't, so i've never seen it, so i don't know if this is an insult compliment. it's a deep insult, yes. okay, okay. is he like a really bad guy or something? he's a really good writer.
17:36 oh no. i'm now the ceo of scientology. i'm the ceo of scientology. i made it deep into the bowels of the headquarters and i mean, you capture the king, you win the game. let's put it that way. and now he's calling me gay? okay. mishima. first off, that's the best thing about mishima. so i wouldn't take that as an insult. secondly, he literally had a wife and kids. he's just really, really into the male form.
18:06 oh, he's republican? yes, he's a right wing reactionary. nothing, eh? i hear shots. bombs down tunnels. i fought valiantly. eerie don't go out, yeah. it's a right wing reactionary? ooh, dan's game. right wing reactionary japan? maybe? no, okay. i'm not gonna say bad chest, but it would finish the joke if i said that. no, don't do that. please don't say that.
18:44 he's calling me closeted? he's literally not closeted. he wrote so many books about how he loves like abs and pecs, man. probably. why is he shaking? he's shaking his head at me. he says he's like, stop talking about mishima. the cock novels were kind of weird? i'm sorry. are we having a problem with mishima because he's gay? i'm not. that's not my problem with mishima. it's kind of how he tried to like overthrow
19:09 democracy. but then everybody just laughed at him, which is kind of awesome. he's literally like out on the balcony going like, hey, let's reform the empire. and everyone's like, shut up, man. we told you to shut up like six months ago when you said this shit at the university. fucking shut up, dude. and then he's like, well, this will show him. and still nobody fucking cares, man. oh god.
19:38 i heard grenade out through your headphones. yeah, i don't know what's going on. i'm sorry. two cat. one is at the longitudinal doors. two, there's one more at the longitudinal doors. 35 longitudinal walking. remember that? motherf this isn't the killing house anymore guys. it's not the killing house anymore. sorry my friends are a little retarded. i heard myself through your prank. gonna have to mute everybody. deferative racist. top mid.
20:20 that's a new one. i heard our teammate through your mic. i don't like that. something that seems like it should not be happening at all. i wonder if i have the output device wrong. so you're just hearing that clearly? yeah, yeah, okay. i can hear our teammate talking. okay, that's not great. that could be really bad. you can mute all voice channels, but nevertheless, gamers persist, man.
20:50 i just don't, i don't know why like so many of my settings changed in like games that are on steam. windows, for audio specifically windows has gotten a lot worse.
21:04 and for everything else, but all i care about is audio. i don't know, i exported a bunch of settings like from obs and other such programs and then i followed the tutorial and then i loaded them into the new program on the new computer and it was like, we don't recognize that. that's probably how people feel when they like move countries. and then like, they have a degree and then the government's like, nah man, that ain't from lakehead university.
21:32 you can't be an engineer here. we need you. your doctor was issued in fucking beijing instead of thunder bay, ontario. where did you go back to school for 11 years? this is a crazy ak, damn. it's kind of ak looks like that one scene out of every far cry game. you know what i'm talking about? all right. got mine. i don't understand. you know what? gotta do something, man.
22:13 there's one on one, we take those. any questions? not kory in the damn settings, man. great job, sorry. didn't even see that. everyone's telling me you sound like you're on a megaphone. me? i just like to talk. yeah, i've been picked suicide. anyone want to go pick that up? it's all yours. who in chance said calling suicide pick? you fucking saw the future.
22:57 you know, you could, and honestly is what, you know what's crazy is that it's like some oracle shit from the matrix. because if you hadn't said i'm calling suicide pick, maybe i wouldn't have gone there. you know what i mean? you know what i mean? hey green, you think you could cover a cat instead? thank you. damn. he looks like yoda when yoda like accepts death. one more mid he said. maybe you heard that though. that one i did not hear. okay, that one i heard. oh fuck man.
23:37 mom said it's my turn to op window. they might be rotating. why can i hear him so clearly, man? i doinked his ass. you just heard him clearly. i heard him so clearly. it was like he was in the call with us. i'll throw guns so they think it's flash. literally worked. i need my flashback though. we go again. i'm playing, i'm playing with a little bit of swag. that's all i'm going to say. one mid. one mid. one mid. yeah, yeah. fuck! i thought i saw something. i got scared.
24:27 wow! giant cloud of blood. fistful of peas, remember that? handful of peas. one egg. one egg. damn. rhythm heaven, yes. it hurts so much when they just like clock your reference but don't laugh. they go, yes, i'm familiar with what it's from. why didn't you laugh then, bro? when you recognize something, you're supposed to laugh. hey, go b, go b. you said go b. oh, one more coming mid doors. watch the lowers. i mean, i had...
25:10 i would like to sit, i would like to have a sit down. i'd like to have a tete a tete with our team. what's going on? i put ryan in a little box. i don't know why he's small. fuck me, dude. i get a pick suicide, we rush down mid. it's that simple. this is not a good buy. that's not a smart buy. something like that. help the team. ooh! we love that. and then i pick the guy, kat. i'm just going to clear a just because i can.
25:53 one's watching long from sight. let's go. we have a ace clear. that was a really good shot. i had a little too much ego. i had a little too much ego. i was feeling myself bigly, man. i was feeling myself huge. no, not like this. he's close to mid. yeah, like that. fake the steps. nice try, man. nice try. i'm still trying. i'm frustrated that
26:29 i don't even know where to adjust what you sound like to my stream. wait, wait, wait. any millennials out here? i guess he'll just have to adjust. this probably sounds great on kory's stream. someone filled up my heart with nothing. we're just too little lost and in a
27:04 turning every good to rust. you know what i'm talking about? whatever happened to that guy? we know, man. yeah, man, we know where the wild things are. cool. over top, over the top of the head. on the top of the head. so you went like, you did some three stooges shit. we need a sopranos for the arcade fire generation.
27:38 peacock kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle of two peacocks kyle
28:14 it's ai charlie, i think. oh, ai charlie. what the hell? glados is... i'm getting neged by glados, man. i'm getting neged by glados right now. yeah, you can't do this to him!
28:37 what the hell did i do man? i didn't do shit to you glados. i can't even play your game. get too much motion sickness. okay. fucking christ. i got two headshots from dudes that are still alive. i'm on beat. nothing on beat. that was fucking crazy. oh shit fencing pose. this guy's in. i don't think this brother is going to make it to the hospital, man.
29:15 he did a little bit like to a tag of my lower. he did, he did just a touch game sense. love sense. that's a tough one. nonsense. that's better. that's better. this guy hates cars. yeah, fucking get in line bro. race to find the bomb. i got a kill just doing the nova spray into the smoke man.
30:02 same top of mid. yeah. bombs down top mid. oh shit. didn't even see him. thank you. brainstem. thank you. brainstem. you know, that's how you know ryan's a real one. he's thinking the brain stem. yeah. i mean, there was no executive function involved in that one.
30:27 got dreams in my head and they won't go spirits in my head and they won't go have you ever heard that song anywhere other than like a short form? i've only heard it on the commercial for the nhl playoffs man. oh my heart still beating my heart still beating. oh kind of one of the best songs ever made though. i have guns to my head and i don't go i
30:56 spirits in my head and i want them. yeah, dude, that's a fucking song. oilers, it's oilers year, man. i don't even know who it is. i've only ever heard it to really annoying tiktoks. i know dudes wearing a hat and scarf 100%. i got guns in my head and they won't go. do they do they boom clap? there's no shot that that boom okay, boom clap is innocent in my opinion, but there's no shot dude is not wearing a hat and scarf and a v neck. you hear that?
31:27 i heard like a little star wars alien or something. oh, that's gilbert godfrey. i don't know why all my notifications are going. oh, you wanted the off. crazy as molly of all time. lower tons, lower tons petition to change tunnels. call out to her petition denied the baitler.
32:07 i got a spirit in my head and i don't go. who sings that? i know that dude's wearing a hat and scarf 100%. yeah, you did say that before. apparently it's the strumbrella. corey 17 and six bro. while stressed as fuck.
32:34 that someone's gonna request something horrible. have you been hearing orgasms? no, no, no, no. not lately. oh, that's... okay, good. your aim is getting good? it turns out, kory, i don't know if you knew this. you're playing like you know this. also, you're playing like... did you just get like a... yes, prepare yourself. this is barack obama. it's former president barack obama. can i ask you something? what? was his middle name really hussein? or is that like, am i falling for propaganda?
33:07 it's not the wrong note. it is? come on guys. go for him man, go for him. shit, good luck corey, they molly behind you. i don't like my position. this is probably what your life looks like on your back deck if i had to guess. all the smoke. god, my eyes. all the smoke. you think i got a back deck? you got a balcony or something. i'm thinking i flash myself out long and get two kills with the scout and we plant.
33:48 he was running away. how does that miss? how does that chat? can i get a, can i get a replay? can i get a video replay? how does that miss average a team helping sniper? hey guys, i'll just, i'll just wait suicide while you all do something and then rage about dying with the scout one before smoke this. yeah. yeah. yeah. smoke in my tons and i still go
34:18 i got molly in my tons but i still go. smoke on the molly and we then go. stop with this song, new steam of the month i'm afraid. were you fucking kidding me? somebody shoot him, he's making himself a parent of the smoke. i don't know where he's gonna fucking freak out, my god. good kill, good kill, yellow, yellow, good kill. i guess going b is the only thing that's been working. yep. he suggests going b.
34:54 alright, let's go hang out at oh, you know what? i'll buy smoke. i got smoke in my hand so i will go kevlar on my chest so i will go huge we go he ran into through the smoke the diet fire jesus christ okay, okay least chaotic be rush it watch is my fault cuz i didn't go die with them. oh
35:37 that's gonna sting. oh man. that did not go well. to me, that is the average b rush. that is what happens to me. we all go in the tunnel. people are like, just hold w and then someone throws a molly and we all stand there and get fucking... you ever seen nope where all those people at the rodeo get eaten by jean jacket? that's why i fucking flash out long and ego pick the awper. don't look.
36:13 literally the pro is flash ever fucking thrown by the way. did you see that? now the first flash was not good. the second flash was fucking crazy and no judges flashes over the top instead of taking the easiest kill of all time. are you glancing? well, because it was the best flash i've ever thrown in my life, man. i wanted to see people pogging off. that's what i do this for. two ops. how's the new pc pissing me off? pc me off. he's pit and car. oh bullshit.
36:52 it was the offer. yeah, you just show up long there 20 minutes after the party ended 90 minutes ago and he's still here. corey you win these. what can you do? he had an up. i panicked. i fell apart man. i was doing so well. i mean, i bottom fracked. i was yelling at our teammates all game. i will say i the longer the game goes on the worse i get because there's just no shot. i'm locking in for 28 rounds.
37:35 like if it's around 26, i'm just buying whatever man. i've literally never heard audible hopes you enjoyed this program. audible, the tv, audible hopes you've enjoyed this program. somebody's son. you know what i'm talking about? you know what the fuck i'm talking about, man? what do you guys think about double flash long?
38:05 i'm horny for it. dude just yelled b. alright, let's do that then. b's been going real well for us. i love b. i love dying in the tunnel. he's not even going, b. holy fuck! the fella didn't even go b. let's all stand here and watch them fight one by one and then, okay, enemy purple. corey, we should just abandon this one right away. this is a disaster waiting to happen. i hate, i'm never going b! i'm literally never going b.
38:50 you just stand in the tunnel waiting to get killed. and then when i'm on ct, i'm like, i hope they go b and they go to the kill tunnel. ooh, there's an op there. you know, i've noticed there's a new kind of chatter and i'm going to say it's a gen z type of chatter. chatter that gives back seeding advice, but only does it in nonsensical terms. like what, what, what compels someone to type you've got to lower your cortisol in 1v1s. that's not
39:18 that's like i understand the compulsion to backseat, but it is not actually like actionable feedback. he's right. i'll push the lower cortisol button i have. i also think my cortisol is in like a good spot, man. i mean, you saw me yesterday. i'm hanging out with my kid. my cortisol spiked this fuck. i don't really mind that much. 93. you did want to bruise up her knee. i'm literally i'm going to run through fire and get four kills at a there's one.
40:05 i got scared by my own decoy. holy shit, i pulled down. oh, why does, yeah, why is he in mid, uh, whatever. he's playing deathmatch. way of the world. oh! elevator. holy shit, we did it. does this look awesome? sorry, let me see. you're doing nothing. oh wait, i can barely see the knife disappearing and going on your hip. that's all i can see.
41:02 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. do that again, do that again. whoa, shit. dude, kate told me she was watching this video, it's like a korean tv show or web show. and it's about people who have problems with their dog, like their dog is poorly behaved. and then she said she was watching, i swear this is like a produced program. this is not like something somebody sells you on the street, right? and the dog starts like,
41:33 humping their leg and they go. oh honey. i think it's time i think he wants it and then they fucking jerk the dog off man and everyone in the comments is going what the fuck is happening here? even like it's one of those pNL reaction shows and they're like, uh, like this is absolutely insane man, i think they all have offers okay, i'm running this town. he had an awesome. oh
42:10 that's an auto sniper bro. i literally going to the top of his head for 55. yes obviously do not link but the shit is on youtube bro and like all the people in the comments apparently because the comments are in korean are going like i'm sorry this video is fucking disgusting like i can't watch this
42:31 i'm not sure if i can do it. wait, wait, wait. what's this? it's a piece of paper. a piece of paper? it's a piece of paper. i don't know what it is. it's a piece of paper. oh, it's a piece of paper! oh, it's a piece of paper. it's a piece of paper. oh, it's a piece of paper. oh, it's a piece of paper.
42:59 i couldn't believe a obviously don't do that but then b if the news comes over and is filming you obviously you gotta be like let's not and say we didn't right like i had the same reaction did you ever watch that netflix show where like um there's a it's called like
43:20 kidnapped at first sight or something. i don't know. someone will know what i'm talking about. it's a true crime show where it's the 70s and this couple's daughter got kidnapped by their neighbor. and then he eventually brought the daughter back, and then the mom had an affair with the kidnapper. and you're like, okay, this shit's pretty bad. and then later the dad's doing a talking head interview, and he's like, yeah, and then i started kissing him. the whole fucking family started after the kidnapping.
43:50 after the kidnapping, they were like, i'm in. it's so crazy. he says, i cannot stand my wife. i need to have sex. i could see that he was sexually aroused. he says, can you give me some relief? we were laughing and he said, bob is just kid stuff and i've got to have relief. so i was dumb enough to reach over
44:26 and relieve him in an act of masturbation. i mean, i've told the story before, like, i worked in an animal hospital and i was like, you know, cleaning the kennels and stuff and taking care of the dogs in the afternoon or on the weekend.
44:40 and one time i like walked out to scoop some poop in the backyard and i just see like one of the vets jerking off her dog into like a bag or something in the back. and i was like, i'm gonna go. this is not okay. i don't know what i walked in on. it was like, because he was getting like a dog vasectomy or whatever, but he might have still wanted kids one day. i think they were just milking him. well that doesn't make me feel any better.
45:09 like i think something the pros have never considered is that the three long rush is awesome because you throw the grenade and if the grenade doesn't hit anybody then of course you can rush. you start the early flank. if the grenade hits them then it's a fucking abattoir in there. boom boom boom! it's true. huge huge. they're literally top mid. we got eyes on them. we run this town. we don't run this town. what the fuck happened? we ran this town.
45:52 this is horrible. you reloaded? i was out of bullets. i ran out of shells, man. what do you want me to do? dude, this on ban request is crazy. anyone know why nl is moving loudly when he is camping? doesn't that kind of defeat the point?
46:09 fuck me, nl can be actually awful. the first two were from the round where they lost in overtime and i really swear was against the other teammate that was worse than nl and not him. well, literally it says anyone know why nl is moving, but anyway, regardless. and the last message, i'm a teen from tyrol and while i understand a little english, i use an ai auto translate feature for chat because otherwise i type too slow and i guess awful sounds worse than the german version, but i'm really sorry and will write less in chat.
46:40 no, man. no, are you still watching? bro said the ai made me toxic. i did get one. i don't know if the mod saw this. i got one on band request and i was laughing my ass off when i saw it because the message they got banned for was nl's on the epstein list, munka s and they got permed and they said, sorry, i was just trying to banter. crazy idea of banter, man, is to be like,
47:11 just a little banter with no punchline. why don't you have a sense of humor about that? i don't understand why you wouldn't have a sense of humor about an obvious joke like that. when he's going to play in game five, bro, didn't you hear there ain't going to be a game five. the canes already won, man. dan vledar smashed his goalie stick on the left post, bro. he deserved better. vledar, he already got better. he moved from calgary to anywhere else. sorry.
47:39 so anyone here from alberta? we love darth vader. wait, trump on espn would be calling him darth vader. darth vader, we love him. on the philadelphia phillies, darth vader. yes, darth vader. he smashed his stick. the last goal was a little soft, but he's pretty good, isn't he? better than the last guy. he's in vegas now. michael layton headass? could be a bit. donald trump and joe biden ai generated conversation where they just talk about old philadelphia goalies.
48:11 roman check manic joe roman check manic you didn't talk about roman check manic joe you haven't mentioned robert ash why is there a reason you haven't mentioned pele lindbergh yet joe and joe biden of course is saying pittsburgh penguins goalies he's tom barrasso. i can't do a joe biden. just imagine. this is tom barrasso ma'am matt matt murray matt murray jump i
48:38 trudeau impression he just kind of talks like a canadian guy. so i guess i'm sort of doing it already. oh fuck off, but you think i don't have a fucking canadian accent 2015 yeah back when tim's was using real fucking dough before they switched their supplier to mccafe i'm not larp in i'm slipping into an old dialect that i used to have when i lived in the fucking country well
49:01 isn't that... that's lawrence from machinima. okay, i need to enter two numbers into my compass. two numbers? not four? maybe it is four. maybe just the first two boxes are highlighted. okay, two two entered following this. oh, eight. boom. it's that easy.
49:27 this is like a handling like a baby. too easy. the game's made for gen z. it really is. you know how i know that? we're both just sitting in the classroom staring straight ahead not talking. back in the day we would have been like this.
49:49 go take your seats, fasten your seatbelts and a small posted up like this. you got a nice haircut. go sideways. don't panic. yeah, passing notes and shit. the following four steps must be completed in sequence. ok, first digit of the rpm number indicates the stage to which the value should be set and then press approve. i don't know why you want me to do i because i don't know what it looks like.
50:25 i'm just going to read the instructions one more time. the first digit of the rpm number, which is the number on the left, the top left of the gauge, indicates the stage to which the value should be set and push approve. okay. maybe the stage is the nine squares below it. like maybe you could set it to like, what is the rpm say?
50:55 31. can you press the plus button three times and then hit the green approve button? yeah, okay, got it. the last digit of the power number should be set to the corresponding stage and push approve. okay, 3. got it. if the sum of rpm numbers is less than the sum of the power numbers, the value should be set to the second stage. okay. is it less? yeah.
51:29 okay. yeah. and push it through. air. air. air. i'm blowing up. hold on. hold on. hold on. hold on. i'm vibrating. so it was three and then three. wait. so they're the same. no, no, no. the third stage was combination of rpm was four and the combination of the power was six. yes. okay. and then you said one stage lower. so i did two. no, not one stage lower. i said to the second stage. okay. to the second stage, which is two, right?
52:02 second stage. i don't know if it's two. with a second stage! i don't have any more information. i'm gonna blow up! i think it would be the second rectangle. two rectangles should be full. that's what i did! it said i was wrong. okay, i'm dead. i'm dead. something's exploded. one mistake made? oh, we crashed because of time. yeah! here, run it back. i think it's supposed to be the same number as the second stage. the same number as the second stage. yeah, that makes sense.
52:32 i mean i'm still alive. you're dead. i thought you would be good at tower. i mean i thought i was doing a pretty good job to be honest. i'm still alive down here. okay, plain code? q74448. the third one i have is arrows pointing down left like two o'clock
52:56 okay, arrows pointing down like this is a new one you've never seen before. i have never seen it before. it's a safe flight. safe flight? alright, does it have like a ticket on top of it? no tickets. yellow dial circle and then all i see is just arrows. down two o'clock, seven o'clock, two o'clock. oh, wait, okay. does it say off go start or something?
53:27 no. i only see the arrows. chad, help me. the very last one. is there any urgency? is it slots? the slot pad? i only have a minute and 30 seconds left. slots, okay. to solve this module you must first determine if the sum of numbers in the aircraft code is even or odd. 27, not even. okay, it's odd. okay, if it's odd you must describe the arrows in a different order.
54:12 okay, it's gonna be bottom right. okay, bottom right. bottom left. bottom left. wait, bottom left? top right. top right. bottom right. bottom right. and approve. hey, we did!
54:40 there was no sense of urgency. well, do you ever hear like atc comms? they're not going, yes, they're going, can you please repeat that? you said yellow dial. we got three stars and we got one star. here's the thing. you said yellow dial and there was no yellow dial. what there was is a yellow display. a dial is a physical
55:01 something you can manipulate physically. i wanted to make sure we were not ambitious in any stretch of the imagination. i was physically manipulating it though. well that's not the... i mean, then we gotta take it up with the technical writer because the technical writer included an image that is not representative of what the actual device looks like for the pilot in the cockpit. you'll see, because i'm gonna go with... i mean, there's an asymmetry to the information. i'll go tower, i'll go tower.
55:25 let me see. i have a cartesian plane, like a grid, like graph paper. there's a lot of graphs. okay, let's go compass first. okay. i have one number on top, two numbers on bottom. compass, right? is it clockwise or counterclockwise? oh, maybe my compass is fine. it's not rotating. or sorry, it's not compass. it's not compass. it's air pressure. air pressure. okay, okay. i have one number on top, two numbers on bottom. one number's on top. if the display shows three or six,
55:59 on top? yeah. nothing. no 3, no 6. if the display shows 1, 2 or 5? it shows 5. set the arrow to the numbers shown on the display. wait, wait, wait. i'm stupid. i'm stupid. i'm stupid. i have three numbers on top. there's just two zeros. oh my god. okay. okay. if exactly two numbers are identical, set the arrows to 1. wait, hold on. i'm getting a phone call. oh my god. oh my god. i cannot do it. i am answering the phone call.
56:29 okay. oh, not in game like or like in game i should say. yeah, in game, in game! on the bottom i have two numbers on the bottom of air pressure. it's a six and a five. if the sum of the number is even, it's odd, which is not. it's odd. set the arrow to one. we're chilling. okay. the paint. okay. what's the describe? describe. i don't. oh, it's the cartesian plane. it's the cartesian plane. the grid. it looks like graph paper. warning.
57:00 the coordinates? possibly. okay, so you have abcdef? no no no. on the top? i have like an alien, a w, a moon, the carriage return that you described earlier, the microsoft word. numbers and words? no. it looks like robocop's vision. it's a series of green boxes arranged in a grid with a red dot on it. oh, okay. on and off switches?
57:30 i don't know. okay. okay. do you see, like, three big lights on top and then bunch of red lights? i do not. i think i have to manipulate a red dot around a grid. is it like a radar? not radar. more like it would be like a maze. like when you play the boxes game as kids where you make a line to make a box. what the heck? i don't see any of that. i think you died. i've crashed. i've crashed my flying machine.
58:02 i don't know what your robot's robocop vision. it's like a green vector grid. grid is the perfect way to describe it. let's do the three by three symbols. okay, symbols first. six is filled in circle, square or yen. okay, yen. yen. next number is nine. five. five. hit marker from call of duty, like circle with lines coming out on the corners.
58:35 weird square with a dot in the middle. does it circle with the... kind of looks like poison with no skull. no. skull and crossbones. okay. or angular e, which is sigma. it looks like the gmail logo rotated 90 degrees anti clockwise. i think the hit marker is circle with the plus inside. not inside. no. outside. or it could be strange square with a dot in the middle, almost like a magnifying glass. okay. i think it's this one. okay. got it. got it. nine.
59:06 k, copyright symbol, or it looks like maybe among us language. what the hell is among us language, ryan? if you don't see k or copyright symbol, please click the one that looks like an elephant with long hair and a big butt. it has an elephant trunk coming out the left. okay, i got it. two. two. i got it. okay, i got it. two. what's two? filled in arrow to the right. happy face. okay, got it. got it. got it. got it. okay, next.
59:36 they want to tell you that his job is hard. i don't know, you did say among us. i had to describe a symbol i've never seen to you before. i had to use an analogy from a symbol we're both aware of. yeah, but what's among us language? what else? if you saw the symbol, how would you have described it?
59:53 i would say eldritch language or something very cursive. that's not same thing! eldritch language actually has some context whereas among us language has no context. that's crazy! that's not crazy! it's not crazy at all. oh, we're literally on power. i'm power. oh, you're on your tower? okay. i am on moon wave. moon wave.
1:00:22 moon wave okay you are going to go to flag u confirmed and then you're going to go to saggy tits t line no sweat perfect description okay um okay um let us do the saggy boobs moon coordinates confirmed saggy boobs i'm starting at the flag and t line okay
1:00:52 i know exactly the place. you were first going to go to segi boobs waves. segi boobs wave. okay. and then you were going to go to you and... oh, it's just the cock and balls? you're gonna go to cock and balls you. okay, i don't know which one is cock and balls. it's two things on the bottom with a lot of... joystick, joystick. perfect.
1:01:13 and then we're gonna go with the tickets. confirmed? we have left toronto and going to vancouver. okay, toronto is cyyz, vancouver is cybr. okay, wait, wait, wait, hold on. c... do i have... cyyz? correct. and vancouver is? cybr. cyvr. okay, confirmed. oh shit, oh shit. oh shit, what the hell? there's a cs2!
1:01:43 listen, wait, wait, wait. whenever he points his weapon at you, you must stop solving modules immediately. oh shit. listen closely for the sound of a gun cocking. okay, let's do... engine balance. okay, got it. i'm on cf 5 6. alright. cf 5 6. i can't solve for a second. okay, just let me know.
1:02:15 i'm gonna do info pNL right now. good idea. e. got it. f1. approaching minimums. confirmed. heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
1:02:51 i don't understand why our record...maybe you needed to give him a kiss or something. oh yeah yeah yeah. maybe i could have like uh disarmed him. what is this? not every threat comes from the aircraft itself. stay focused and remain cautious. where's the arrest? am i gonna poop my pants? it sounds like i'm gonna poop my pants during the... well i gotta be taller. i gotta be taller.
1:03:16 the crew is running out of options. work together and keep the aircraft stable at all costs. i think they're running out of text to the description is really funny. yeah, like we know the planes crash again. the description is just exactly the same as like all the levels that we have done. or are we running out of options all the time?
1:03:34 i don't think i'll ever get a better high in a video game than when you went to the ticket puzzle and said we're going to toronto to vancouver and i just knew the airport codes off the top of my head. i honestly think... that's true. yyz and ybr. i think i might be chasing that high the rest of my life. critical systems are becoming unreliable, stay calm and resolve every issue as fast as possible. dude! these descriptions are literally descriptions of literally every single level that we have played. you should literally have to play this with randoms.
1:04:02 it's cheating to play this with someone you communicate with every day. i don't know, you just say among us language and that kind of... okay, listen, that made sense though. that did not make any sense. if you've seen that symbol, you would know. it is not among us language though. it's a language that the among us would speak that is nonsense. well o. oh, i have one more. i have ticket. okay. it's rome f to berlin b.
1:04:38 l i r f confirmed. and then where is it to? berlin b berlin... looking for berlin b e d d b we run this town. holy cow!
1:05:02 you know what's taking me out? is all the americans in check going that airport codes with three letters. there are only three letters if you're flying domestic within america. if you're flying in the rest of the world and we have to confirm to your fucked up rules, conform to your fucked up rules, we have to add a country code to the start of it, motherfucker!
1:05:16 that's why when we're flying from toronto to vancouver, it's yyz to yvr. but if you're flying on an american airline, it's c y y z to c y vr, just so you don't accidentally go to the wrong yvr, bro, because it's probably some ontario, california motherfucking airport. some dude with six acres of crops and a damn landing strip doing some barnstorming.
1:05:39 do we even read the information? control of the flight is no longer guaranteed. control of the flight is no longer guaranteed. handle the situation carefully before it escalates. oh my god! i am the hijacker's i got weird eyes! i'm the hijacker! you're the hijacker! i'm the counter counter strike! damn, but you gotta use the mask otherwise they'll know who you are somehow. what the hell? i guess they're watching the dash cam or something?
1:06:08 wait, but i'm the hijacker too. that seems a little crazy. okay, my bad. it should be. okay, start with go one approved. okay, hold on. it's shaking. it's shaking. it's shaking. it's shaking. start with one. one approved. eight approved. eight approved. okay. and then the sum of power is greater than the sum of rpm. is this correct? that's correct. number six and approved, please. okay. it's so easy.
1:06:42 we hijacked the airplane now i mean it's literally not a debuff at all you just like... well... were you wearing the mask? i was wearing the mask it like very very slightly obscures your field of view yeah yeah i agree the atmosphere inside the aircraft has been dangerous when was it not? one distraction could cost everything
1:07:13 when was it not, dude? flap 15. okay. now we're looking at red circle. word is red. the text color is blue. flap 30. and the cat is throwing up behind me. flap 30. my room smells like cat wet food. it smells terrible. we can do pictures. oh my god. oh my god! it's terrible! clear comms. okay, got it. okay. look at that.
1:07:42 look at that! and i got the cat fobbin right behind me stinking up the whole room. well, i will go clean that. it's literally too easy. i think there's two two fobbits but i only see one on me. i don't know where the second one was right behind me. you did like a counter strike call.
1:08:02 i don't know where the other one is. well, i will go hunt for that. i think it's a little too easy. for beasts like us that have played so much keep talking and nobody explodes... sorry, i got out. i got out of the game. oh, i see. she wants me to join back up in the discord. yeah, yeah. for beasts like us that have played so much keep talking, it's a little bit easier for us. that's true. that's true. i thought it would be harder because i thought there would be more panic.
1:08:31 well they said don't panic so i said let's not panic. that's true, that's true. that's true. i gotta go pee so bad i'm going to send the raid over to you and go to the bathroom and clean up this cat vomit. okay thank you! later! and later to you as well, chad. later to you as well. goodbye!
1:08:50 gotta catch a hunker, a grouper, or a tuna gotta catch a hunker, a haddock, or a cod gotta catch a hunker, albacore what the hell man, how did i get nothing from the sea
1:09:19 oh jesus!