apollo's blessing - Bits and Banter [05⧸26⧸2026]

Name: apollo's blessing - Bits and Banter [05⧸26⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-29
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "apollo's blessing - Bits and Banter [05⧸26⧸2026]" — 256 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-29

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0:00 i had to delete exclamation point demon bluff and exclamation point prime from my title in order to fit the title today. that's how you know it's serious. i'm just, the meter doesn't totally work. it's like almost there but it falls apart at the end. once i stood on the shore, seashells produced bells, i snagged them then gave them to tom nook while my fruit swelled. it's just, it stumbles very slightly.
0:24 it's a minus two for me but i don't get it. yeah, yeah, yeah, we know it's not from the sonic 64 soundtrack. bro said sonic 64.
0:35 maybe the realest fake game of all time. i think sonic 64 might have accidentally created some serious bait. i'm gonna start going around asking people what their favorite sonic game is, and then when they answer, i'll be like, how do you feel about sonic 64? i don't know anything about sonic, to be honest. i bet i could give you the sum total of all of my sonic knowledge in less than two minutes.
1:03 sonic is a hedgehog. he is blue and he goes really fast. he's got a friend named tails who is a fox who has two tails that can become a helicopter style rotor and make him fly. i believe sonic has a
1:18 it might be his girlfriend, it might just be a friend who is a girl called amy. and i don't know, she might be pink, but i don't know. and then there's knuckles. knuckles is a badass red echidna who has a higher power level, might be a little bit slower than sonic, but he punches harder. and then his nemesis is dr. robotnik, also known as dr. eggman, who is like an engineer
1:45 who he makes robots kind of like loveless from wild wild west. and then that's about it. he collects rings and when he falls on the spikes, he loses his rings and if he runs out of rings, he dies. if he gets hit with zero rings in his pocket, he dies. i don't know anything about shadow. he's like evil sonic as far as i can tell, but he's not necessarily evil. he's just not aligned. he's like independent. he's like libertarian sonic.
2:13 sometimes he works with the sonics and sometimes he's like opposed to them, whether he's been captured by robotnik or like ideologically has opposition or something. not popular in your kid's class. there's one kid in my kid's class who's a serious sonic head. and i know that because i was at a birthday party. she had a shirt that had a hedgehog on it. and i said, oh, that's knuckles. you've got knuckles on your shirt. and then she said, that's actually shadow.
2:43 and i went, my bad, my bad. life's gonna be rough for her. they never did like mama's homemade dress. papa's banquet wasn't big enough. me, i'm standing at the side of the road, rain falling in my shoes. you know what i'm talking about, yeti? singing out of you and me with a duet that only we can hear. heading out for the east coast, lord knows i paid some dues getting through.
3:09 tangled up in blue would be a fucking great byline for a review of a bad sonic game polygon, are you listening next time? there's a bad sonic game so the next time a sonic game comes out consider giving it a 5 out of 10 and the byline can be tangled up in blue roasted boom roasted
3:29 they're going to kill you? bro, the sonic fans love me. i saw the tv glow of five stars and a heart. i think it's honestly, i'm on 92 movie scene in 2026 and there's a serious chance that it will be in the top four when i do my retrospective.
3:44 i'm trying to think of like what's a lock? i think mishima is a lock. i think le bonheur, the agnes varda film, that's got to be considered a lock. so there's two spaces left and i don't... i mean i got to go through... oh fuck it's really hard to not put boogie nights in there man. you know what? okay i saw the tv glow might not be in the top four because there's also boogie nights
4:07 and also, there will be blood. so that's tough. damn, hard boiled too, motherfucker. boogie nights is a damn good movie, but i can't convince anyone to watch it because of the premise. yeah, it's kind of like, gen z, cover your ears if you haven't already from the sonic stuff. but it's kind of like, it's got to be hard for a 22 year old to watch a movie about the porn industry. the movie's old because it was made in 1997, but it's doubly old because it's about like 1975.
4:36 that's like the gen z, the perfect storm for gen z not watching a movie. but it does have mommy in it, it does have julianne moore in it. wait, wait, wait, i see a yeti tribe called quest hamilton mashup. you'd be a fool to reply that burr is not the man. because you know and i know that you know who i am. a special shot of peace goes out to all my pals, you see. and a middle finger goes for all you royal kings. it's yeti, i like the concept.
5:06 it's just a little too much exactly a tribe called quest. almost all of it is just a tribe called quest. make it will smith and we can talk. uh uh. done it again, y'all. done it again. oh shit, first time chat number one yeti hater. i can't stand this guy. have you been...
5:28 damn, you've been waiting for the first yeti mention of the stream so you could drop your first time chat. that's so good. account may 2013? okay, but this is referring to the abominable snowman. that's not referring to our current yeti. current yeti was like six when you made your account. you guys ever see eastern condors from 1985?
5:51 the sammo hung movie, it's like a vietnam war kung fu movie. middle of it for me was a little, it was okay, but the last 15 minutes are so good. war movies stress me out. don't worry about it, this one's already over. the good guys won. oh man. finally, those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrades? i don't know what that was. that was not austin powers. i mean, the text was, but the accent, i don't know what the fuck the accent was, man.
6:26 quick, what's basket in mandarin? i don't remember, but i could tell you that we're neighbors. that sounded kind of good. i don't know mandarin though.
6:49 we're getting there. we're getting there. we gotta learn steely dan and mandarin. one second. steely dan mandarin. let's just see what comes up, man. what chinese music are they talking about in asia? wait, this thread could have some answers. chinese music is slang for uninspired jazz? wait, this is... i literally thought the bro was listening to the fucking
7:11 i mean the chinese version of the shamisen. i didn't realize it. chinese music was a pejorative term louis armstrong used for the jazz being made by younger musicians such as charlie parker. what the fuck? i thought he was talking about angular banjos bro. fuck it, i'll search it. steely dan, ai translated to mandarin. let's see what results pop up.
7:37 google ai is so funny. translating steely dan into mandarin via ai means capturing their legendary blend of cynical lyricism and slick jazz rock harmony and rendering it in chinese. this requires clever lyric adaptation and specialized ai music prompts. is there like a page minimum that you have to get to here? what the hell happened, man? like what do you didn't... that sentence doesn't mean anything.
8:04 oh, here's a fucking the translation for um, hey 19 the cuervo gold defined colombian make tonight a wonderful thing. i didn't put it in pinion though. so i can't even come close to reading it man until we can get steely dan translated. we always open the stream of one of these.
8:33 it actually like it kind of goes. wait, i heard wall man in there. he's talking about, uh, i plural we, he said we i'm doing it. i'm learning mandarin.
9:19 i'm kind of dying to the audience. nobody gives a fuck about van morrison. he's crashing out on stage, man. i will bring this ship to my lesson next week. oh, my learning ambitions? well, i think i would consider my mandarin lessons to be a success if i could talk this well.
9:55 this is from asia google translate. bro, i don't know how to read. i don't know how to read the characters. shy guy beats. the first character means mountain. that's all i know, man. i don't know what the rest mean. that first one that looks kind of like a pitchfork, that one means mountain. i think that's shung. i can't read the rest, man. i need it in pinyin. learn it? well, it fucking takes a minute.
10:18 it takes a minute and then they have the audacity to tell you some shit. they'll be like, well look this character looks like a person and this one looks like two people and then this one looks like a
10:32 a plot of farmland. so you just look at the picture and describe what you have, and then i'm like, okay, fucking farmland mountain person, what does that mean? come to find out that shit means like fucking like dough or some shit like that. that's not descriptive enough, bro. those three things are associated with like 5,000 different nouns. it's going to take a minute is all i'm saying.
10:57 i'm kind of on my like, wǒ shì yì shāng, wǒ bu shì yì shāng, but wǒ shì guì shāng, type shit, just saying some bullshit. i think i said i'm a student, but i might have said i'm a classmate. how do you say the pinyin mìyù that has like an umlaut over top of it, bro? my teacher was crashing out on me. i wanted to tell her, i don't know what that sound is. we don't have that sound in english. it's going to take me a minute.
11:25 trying to get me to say like, nya, nya, nya. i don't have that one. i don't have that one in my toolbox. you're gonna play the library organizing game when the wholesome chungus cozy game uses generative ai to create all the assets? is that what you want? you wanted to come here, you wanna start to argue? yeah, i mean, honestly, whatever you'd like, you like. i played wilmot's warehouse until it got frustrating. i fucking get it. but
11:55 i don't, i guess, i don't know if this makes me neurotypical or an neurotypical but i don't really like the idea of being put in a dirty ass room and they're like just sorted out. now if i could listen to music while i did it that might be a different story. if i could put on like, if i could put on gaucho by steely dan and then do it that would be one thing but on stream no no no i don't think so. guy who lives in a shithole but cleans in the game instead of in his own house
12:23 yes, yes, but that's not like my house is clean and i've gotten myself in trouble with this discourse before my house is clean because it's a group effort to fucking keep it clean if i lived alone. well, i don't honestly i would love to have other
12:40 other men weigh in on this. men are not giving their opinion enough these days. we need to solicit more opinions from cishet men like myself, okay? if i lived alone now, i would keep my place tidy. not necessarily
12:56 spotless but tidy because i've already gone through the courses i've gone through the necessary material to get to the point where now i also get bothered when the house is on tidy but if i had never been married or like lived or
13:13 with my partner for like a long time, could be a disastrous type situation. i'd probably be having philosophical zizekian discussions about like, what's the point in cleaning it, it's just going to get dirty again at some point anyway. and that's why, that's the base principle that i have that then gets me in trouble with the second, which i feel like is just a corollary.
13:35 the corollary that i have is that if a man has not lived with a partner, a romantic partner for like a few years by the time they're 40, is it too late for them to ever change? that's the one where people go out and come here to be sad. but i'm like, i think it might be too late at that point to change because the brain is like ossifying at that point. the brain is like calcifying. i was moldable. i was teachable when i got involved in this situation.
14:02 are the straights okay? don't fucking put that shit out there. i know some of you are living in a fucking mess right now, okay? regardless of where you're at on the gender spectrum or your sexual preferences, i know some of you got like old cans on the ground. i know some when you stand up it sounds like a fucking recycling depot in there, okay?
14:22 guy who's never seen a woman's apartment. i got in so much trouble. i mean, if we're talking 20 year old man, 20 year old woman, worst case scenario, the worst amalgam, everything in the apartment is the 20 year old man's, except the bathroom is the 20 year old woman's with the fucking apothecary's table of eight different kinds of shampoo with all the lids open and like pink and blue and green, liquids like all spewed all over the shower wall and stuff.
14:49 he's speaking the truth. damn, i'm being emboldened. this is dangerous. nah, i'm pretty chill. i'm more chill than you would expect. there is like a bit of a cauldron going on in there. guy who does not have sisters and has not lived with women who aren't his wife. that's a crazy fucking gatekeeper. guy who's only... are you on your fifth divorce or something? like what's going on here?
15:17 unlike you, i've been married to four different women. i'm coming in with the brave opinion that all people are slightly different from one another. i actually, and kate, feel free to push back on this if you like, i kind of mocked my wife in the marketplace of ideas last night because i was telling her i had some sweet chili pork that i got from the grocery store on sunday.
15:43 in order to eat for lunch on monday. but then when it came time for lunch, i was like, am i even going to warm this up or am i just going to eat it cold, save a little bit of time? so i took a bite of the rice when it was cold and i went, that's horrible. i'm going to warm it up. and then she said, men are all the same.
16:04 and it was something along those lines. she said, men are, it's interesting how similar most men are, like something like that. and then i said, i think you'll find women are very similar to each other too. i find most of them enjoy their food warmed up. and she laughed. i fucking got her. i felt like that was a great little reply afterwards to sort of jeet kune do the energy back in the other direction. i felt like that was, that was a good one.
16:32 i didn't say destroyed. i didn't say destroyed. and then he said, tonight we are eating sushi. i actually, i got to be careful with where i'm going on this discourse, but i think i've become a sushi over pizza guy for sure. there's something about that. the thing is, i think it's craving driven. and what i mean by that is like, it's very easy to satisfy
16:55 a pizza craving by just getting a slice. you can't really just get like a slice of sushi. like it doesn't seem appropriate to go to a sushi restaurant and be like, i'll have one. can i get one tuna roll please? like six little pieces of tuna. like you're going to be sitting there waiting for it in the first place. it's good. it's more of a time investment. you just go into the pizza by the slice place. you look in the warmer, you grab whatever they got. you're in and out in like three and a half minutes. right.
17:20 sushi is more like to satisfy this craving i need to block the dinner time out to get it. am pm sushi? i've legitimately never had like gas station sushi and i'm not gonna start now hopefully. i think the older singles in society should tap out early. so you're suggesting, i had to run that through the
17:45 the linter first. no, i'm not suggesting that. what i am suggesting is that if you are trying to make it make it make it work, make it work. if you are a middle aged woman, don't don't date a guy your own age. it's too late. if you're going to date a guy your own age,
18:09 if you're gonna date a guy your own age, date a divorced guy. because then someone else might have already done the work. otherwise, find someone who's like 25 and mold them because you still got a chance. or widowed! could be widowed as well. stop talking. it's... it's... i'm telling you. the other thing is if this makes you feel bad and you're a 40 year old man, just look at your desk, okay? if your desk is
18:37 it's a little bit of a red flag if your desk is super clean. that's giving serial killer a little bit. but, if your desk is like not a disaster, you're fine. if your desk is fucked up, maybe it's time to be the you know what michael jackson said? i'm looking at the man in the mirror. i'm asking him to change his ways. wait, kate's on librarian? i know your desk is fucked up. don't type three question marks. i mean, aren't you working like,
19:09 like 20 hours a day or something like that. i'm pretty sure your desk is fucked up, man. i think your desk is fucked. are you gonna learn all your catchphrases in mandarin? i already got two. and also, what is 小面面? you know, librarian. little friend.
19:43 you're not on that scarface pack? it's peng you. pronounced yao. peng you. zhao peng you. you have a contrarian opinion of obsession due to kino brain? no, i haven't been to the movie theater to see a new movie in like, i don't know, like 11 months or something. i haven't seen obsession. i need to wait for janice films to get the rice. the rice? the rice.
20:14 janice films be like, here's a movie about chandler. you guys know it. so anybody here seen friends? anybody here seen friends? she was always, she was after chandler. that's one thing i know about janice. if there's one thing i know about janice, she was pursuing chandler and her laugh was kind of annoying. but other than that, i don't think she was that bad.
20:40 i don't really know why they all wanted janice to die. like she's just trying to do what she can to stay alive in new york, man. i don't know why they had such a fucking problem with her. by the way, we're dead but that's like normal. she was kind of annoying. yeah, but have you seen chandler? ross is right there! could i be any more annoying? that's what i'm saying, man. yeah, janice was great. they should make a show about janice.
21:11 yeah, yeah, i know i'm chandler coded. you ain't the first person to point out that i'm chandler coded. ciao peng fo. you? i'll get it one. it's a hard language. even people in chat are typing two different sounds, by the way. some of them are saying, some of them are saying yo, some of them are saying yow, just for the record. so if you're watching this on youtube, you're like, why can't he get it? i'll get it when you get it, man. i'll get it when you get it. bunch of posers in here.
21:40 i was saying to kate, and trust me, as an esl teacher at a point in my life, i completely get it. but the...
21:49 sense of superiority you have as the language teacher is so funny because literally you can't be wrong. like you're saying, well i'm chinese so this is how you pronounce it. i don't know, like you might not be saying it the way it's supposed to be said either. but people know what you mean because you know you're surrounding it with shit that sounds right in context and their brain is filling in the gaps. so you just no matter what like there's some shit you guys laugh at me for the way i pronounce some things.
22:16 that's how i taught 250 korean kids how to speak english. and sometimes they would say, isn't it said like this? and i'd be like, come on, come on. they brought me here for a reason. i don't know what's little in korean. hey, can you help me out here? jeonggum. jeonggum chingu. they brought me here for a reason, okay? now they're all going around saying decal. yeah, it's true. that was an advanced lesson though. they're all going to america saying bathroom.
22:45 the word for bathroom is one of the ones that pisses me off the most if i'm being dead ass with you. all the words are bad. like we in canada, we might call it bathroom or washroom. if you ask for the bathroom,
23:00 you're obviously not taking a bath. you want to like take a dump or something. you're washing your hands, but that's not the main reason you're going there. but if you ask for toilet people are like, oh you're being gross. like why do we have such a problem with this? this is why seisuo is such a good guy who's fully internalizing becoming mandarin. everything's better in mandarin bro. are the balls okay? i don't... i think so. i'm alright.
23:31 being bald is crazy though because sometimes you like forget that you're bald. sometimes you like go into the mirror or like be in the seiswa and then look in the mirror and be like oh that's right i don't have any damn hair. flashbang in the mirror. what is crazy though is sometimes you forget other bald guys or at least guys who have been bald for a long time, back me up on this one, sometimes you forget that we live in a cruel society and like when people see you they will always see you as bald first and don't really think about anything else.
23:57 like you think that you're meeting people as peers, like on the same level of status, but then i bet if you put yourself in their brain, they're like, oh, he's the bald guy. this is the first and foremost, this guy is bald, which is why bald people are the most enlightened people on the planet. cause at no point do i go, oh, that's the guy with the brown hair that wouldn't be specific enough, bro. like a lot of you out there have brown hair, man. my fiance knows you as bald, man.
24:24 it's a little superficial, but like if you're into that i guess like don't let me have you second guess who you're betrothed to or whatever but it seems a little superficial because you'll also be old one day there's like a 60 chance at some point you'll be fucking bald so if you're like wow i'm glad that's not me you need to take a more fucking heptapod ish look at the passage of time because honestly it ain't even that far away and i'm not even talking about a cosmic sense
24:49 a human life is essentially one flap of a butterfly's wings. it takes a really, really long time to get from like age three to 20 and then 20 to 40 is like that. and i know you're like, that's not going to happen to me. you're already halfway through. you're already halfway through. you don't know you and that's got, that should scare you.
25:12 at age 23, because it scares the fuck out of me, because if 20 to 40 goes by in the blink of an eye, what about fucking 40 to 80, bro? if we should be so lucky. then the other scarier thought is about 80 to 90 takes forever. but my 98 year old grandma said i don't want to live to see a hundred. but in a way, i know that obviously it's framed as like, wow, that's sad, and it is melancholy. but in a way, isn't that kind of like awesome?
25:42 it's kind of like she's like don't you feel like that would be a little empowering to be like i've drunk my fill. i've drunk my fill from this fucking mortal cup. i don't eat anymore, you know? i'll skip dessert. no, no dessert menu for us, thanks. like in a way, i almost feel like the reason that you on a
26:04 intrinsic level the reason that it's i mean it's sad because it's your grandma's obviously a number one but then like number two is you're like damn she's accepted that she's not gonna live forever, but that's still like a possibility for me no, it's not man. no, it's not and if we get to that point i
26:21 it's gonna be worse than death, i think. that's my radical take is, don't put me in the major kusanagi human consciousness aggregation algorithm. please, for the love of god, i would rather cease to exist, i would rather have some time to rest. i don't want to be put in the consensus generation machine. aubrey de grey didn't die for this? aubrey de grey died? the guy who was trying to create eternal life?
26:46 is this how i learned that the pseudo scientist in charge of the anti senescence project has died? i have no idea if he actually died. that's such a big piece of intel! if the guy who was trying to create eternal life died. alive at 63, alive and well. that's huge, man. big fat minus two? oh, that's for the person who said frank ocean's overrated. i thought it was for my existence.
27:19 and i was like, it's fair, but would you present some supporting arguments please? to be honest, i didn't know about your existence until last week. i'm feeling it's pretty plus two though. well, you know, it's the thing like when you find out you're a little neurotypical and all of a sudden you start to say some stuff like, honestly, like everybody, everybody that's ever done anything is neurotypical.
27:44 like alright brothers neurotypical or neuro atypical. the uh, albert einstein clearly neurodivergent. abraham lincoln neurodivergent bro, 100%. everyone who's ever done anything good for mankind has been neurodivergent. like right now you're in a very like pro nl phase but it'll change. i'll say something offhand without even thinking about it that will it might be related to sonic
28:08 or board games or food or like picky eating. you'll be like, right now you're agreeing with me 100% of the time. you're gonna find that 99th thing where you're like, wait a second, this is like a betrayal. this is a betrayal now. and it's a natural phase and then you go away for a while and then you come back
28:34 and we kind of find like a homeostatic, like a set point, you know? and it works for all of us. was mccready the thing? bro, i think all men were the thing before they even landed at mcmurdo station. that's my crazy take. ever think about that shit? anyway, engineers, i'm gonna ask you to... this is like the rudest shit i've ever said. i'm gonna ask you to have a sense of humor, okay? no matter how much it hurts. i never in my life ever again wanna hear
29:05 mccready gave childs a flask full of methanol or diesel or something like that to check and see if he was the alien. that's not what john carpenter was trying to say man. and if he was, he's wrong. that's not what he's trying to say man.
29:22 that's not what he's getting. that's not what it's about, man. it's about the paranoia. it's not about, oh, based mccready blows out childs with one last ingenious chris nolan esque trick, okay? it's about the state of mind, man. that shit wouldn't happen to me because you would not catch my ass in antarctica. i watched the werner herzog documentary about antarctica. you would not catch me there, bro. isn't that like, oh, i was gonna say something. i couldn't walk back.
29:53 i was gonna say, is in florida the place you go to escape a dui if you have a high school diploma and antarctica is where you go to escape a dui when you have a bachelor's degree? i thought, sometimes the sentences that pop into my head are, it's not me creating them. i'm curating them. i'm not creating them. there's a difference. i'm grabbing them out of the stream and then i'm putting some back.
30:22 crazy potion. i love this, but i've already said this that this looks like the best potion in diablo 2 so i just innately want to buy it every single time i see it. used condom potion. i mean if you're if you're load maxing maybe i mean that's that's crazy it's no marge potion. is this the marge potion? because it looks like marge simpson's hair? zinc? you need you need more than zinc to get to this fill rate man. there's also lisa
30:56 that's never gonna leave my brain, man. the lisa potion and the marge potion. oh, i love that. that's huge. and they say this game is bad for streaming, man! stomach potion, of course. flatter potion. or skin potion? i don't even know what that is that this one? is that this one? middle potions a little marge coated? yeah, maybe when homer's at work. gross? what's gross about it?
31:37 i don't think anything gross about it. you know what's gross about it, pervert? i don't think it's gross at all. because they aren't green. average guy, when a woman does what he does three times a day, when did i say she's wrong for engaging in masturbation? if anything, i said she was right. she waited for homer to go to work. she kept it her... oh, not you. oh, okay, okay. sorry. i'm used to suffering the slings and arrows of my moderation team so regularly. and now please do something. the golden knights are going to win the stanley cup.
32:10 is a little spooky for sure. but also, i was like, you know what? i was diagnosing why i hate the golden knights. and i was realizing like, i'm not sure why i still hate them. i hate the idea of them. i hate that they just joined the nhl and have had so much success. but they already won the stanley cup. like they already won. like i'm out here going like, i sure hope darth vader
32:37 you know, doesn't kill obi wan kenobi. this shit happened like 40 minutes into the first movie, bro. like, the damage is done. but i have to remind myself of the fact that the guys i root for aren't just the good guys because i'm rooting for them. like, if you are a vegas golden knights fan, the vegas golden knights are the good guys. and that's, like, equally valid as my team being the good guys.
33:04 even though it feels horrible to say it feels like that can't possibly be true, but it's it's the truth now i will say i agree with you that it only applies it's a case by case application because i mean the the houston astros are the bad guys but then it also changes based on the administration and this one if even if you've agreed with me so far. i don't think you're gonna agree with this one this one's gonna ruffle some feathers the new england patriots are
33:35 well, okay, the mike rabel stuff might have made it a little bit more complicated. the new england patriots were the bad guys, but then the bad guys that made them the bad guys are not on the team anymore. the new team, i'm not saying they're good guys, i'm just saying they're not the bad guys anymore. they're just wearing the same shirt as the bad guys. they have an evil owner? it's the nfl, man. what do you want me to say? it's the nfl.
34:03 they're all like, you can't do this though. you can't be like, i'm going to root for like the least evil nfl team. you root for the one that's closest to you and then you say, well, fuck everybody involved with this, but still like, you know, go packers or whatever. that's having loyalty for your proximate citizenry. i need my power, bro. wait, this is really bad. this is really bad. and i played a block like a fool.
34:36 we fucking kill you next turn. shit, no, no, motherfucker. reduce to adams. i mean, i think we maybe live if i play my defend first to be honest with you, but i forgot that this is the enemy that reduces you to zero strength and also zero decks. that's all right, that's all right. hot take, sean evans is not an interesting reviewer. i mean, you're the one watching. wait, i gotta think of the worst hot ones guests. give me a second.
35:16 dj khaled, there you go. you're the one watching an interview with dj khaled and you're gonna blame the guy asking the questions for why it's not interesting? brother, you clicked on the video with dj khaled in the thumbnail. what'd you expect? you on last meals would be pretty sick. is that like one of your youtube shows? wait one second. you would say, librarian, are you here? i need you on this one. last meals should... last meals should... need a... wong fu ma?
35:54 is last meals one of your online friends? is last meals your online friend? wrong tones, but you kind of got there? oh shit. you can't use it like that? considering i only know like 30 words, that's not too bad, right? that's not too bad. like the vibe i was going for is like a grandma looking at your ps2 and going, what are you playing on your nintendo? yeah, i'll do it. i mean, we have bag of prep already. ideal scenario, we get ice cream.
36:25 pretty much like an ideal scenario after dinner in all. can i say something? does anybody here run a restaurant? you are mis i'm telling you this as the median 37 year old man. if you got a dessert menu, just throw
36:40 a little ice cream on it too. because it's such a good fallback when you're in the mood for dessert, but then you get a dessert menu and it's got two things on it that you're not really fucking with. i don't want a panna cotta and i don't want like a chocolate lava cake, but if it was like two scoops of earl grey ice cream or something like that, i'd be like, okay, that sounds good, bring it out. instead, i'm asking you to bring the dessert menu and then i'm like, i don't really want the vegan panna cotta, so i'm giving you the menu back and getting the check.
37:08 just gets just just as a as a fail safe. just have a little bit of ice cream on the dessert menu you will up the the adherence to your dessert course so much man so much. why are we angry this time? they all they're doing the dessert menu and they're having two desserts and one of them has to be
37:29 gluten free and vegan, which i support, but i wish they didn't make it to tiramisu, because i want the tiramisu with the real mascarpone cheese. i don't want it with the silken tofu. i want it with the real mascarpone cheese. so i would default to the ice cream if they had ice cream on the menu, but they don't, and now all of a sudden i'm getting some kind of fuck ass tart with the chocolate ganache on the top. i don't want it! i want some ice cream!
37:55 dan gave mandalorian and grogu four and a half stars on letterboxd its peak. hey, but can i say something in dan's defense? he also gave the mandalorian and grogu four and a half stars on letterboxd in like december 2020. what did he know? kaneda, what do you see? go check the date of when he made that review. i think that he thought he was reviewing the season two mandalorian finale when actually he put the review under the movie.
38:21 saw the movie? it drags unfortunately. yeah, saw drags. cary elwes drags his ass across the tile floor to fucking use the saw to get out of the handcuffs that jigsaw put him in. no spoilers please. i'm still only halfway through saw 1. it's not this is audible. it's audible hopes you've enjoyed this program.
38:44 you have just outed yourself. you have self reported as a prologue skipper. the prologue is insNLy important to set your expectations and the lens through which you should be listening to the rest of the work by motherfucker. it starts with, this is audible. now what does it end with? i don't know because i'm always asleep. audible be like, audible hopes you've enjoyed this program. someone's son, we're running in different circles.
39:22 how was that one? we're running in different circles. you got it. wait, diatom is insane, man. is that how they pronounce diatom in canada? brother, i've never seen one of these outside of a video game. okay. this is some shit that like the child like empress wears in the never ending story. i don't know what the fuck this is. my country was like inaugurated in 1867.
39:53 this shit was already like phased out. these were vestigial pieces of headwear by the time sir john a. macdonald was a twinkle in his daddy's eye. i don't know what the fuck this is, man. your country had a queen? every woman's a queen to me. except that one australian lady who owns all those mines, right? and that's true jk rowling as well. and jk rowling. we're not... she's not our favorite. she's not our favorite.
40:20 thoughts on the jackson dart controversy. please welcome starting quarterback of the new york giants, jackson dart. what an honor, what a privilege it is to be here and without further ado i'm grateful, i'm honored, i'm pleasure to
40:37 introduce the 45th and 47th president of the united states of america, president donald j. trump. i'm gonna level with you, dude's name is jackson with an x, like he never had a chance. i'm not saying that absolves him, i'm just saying like there was never a chance, man. j a x s o n, and we're acting like we're surprised, like we gotta be a little bit more serious than that. fan of knives?
41:10 that's the one that's what i said fan of knives. that's what i fucking meant. that's what i fucking meant. dump these two. this is a just in case me. just trying to keep my options open here. oh, oh, that's very satisfying. that's very, very satisfying indeed. really good run. let's diagnose why did that run win? oh, because i built around the random rare that i got. right, right. because we built around the random rare that we got.
41:56 hmm. ornamental fan did great work and the doll. the doll was also crazy, man. let me do this in an incognito window. build my chinese intro.
42:23 okay. that's kind of awesome.
42:32 that's kind of incredible. that's kind of insane. when was this uploaded? nine years ago? nah, man. if this shit had existed when i was in university, it would have gone quintuple platinum. it would have had at least, i'm gonna say 500 more views on it for sure. this shit would have been blasted out of the dorm room.
43:06 some of these comments are pissing me off though. what i find hilarious is that the literal translation to english is, bill is a scientist. that's what it is in english too. bill nye the science guy. there's an implied is. it basically is, bill is a scientist. he's not a scientist, he's the science guy. the science guy is the scientist, bro. it's a bit reductive.
43:33 i'm literally bilingual. and also, i think if you laugh at this video, it's problematic. i can say it now. but i still think i could say it. i still think i could say it. but i still think i could say it. no, you're not. that's why i said boo, brother. that's why i said boo. now we're looking for demesna. ain't that skyler's daughter from twilight? i forgot. well, i guess i never knew what kristen stewart's
44:07 kid's name is in, or her name for that matter, in twilight. what's her name? guy who calls all the female characters skylar. what do you mean it's a red flag? what do you mean it's a red flag? skylar, i don't have a crystal meth to my name, an acre of land, a lab to command, the dollop of... can i get a drug word that rhymes with fame? all i got's my knowledge, tolerance for pain.
44:39 couple of high school classes in my top notch brain. cocaine? oh, yeah, yo. oh, that's what you're talking about. that's on all the guys online who think skyler's the worst villain in breaking bad. short sighted, the worst villain in breaking bad is clearly flynn. heng's got a certain je ne sais quoi, but do we draw? we don't draw enough, but i guess it's still early. you gained literally 19 hp off the rest. oh!
45:12 hang and clone? that's so insane. that's such a crazy flex if it comes true. fuck it, i'll gift you a sub if it comes true. who said that? that's dr. no show. dr. no show, if the clone option shows up, i'll gift you a subscription. otherwise, i think we skip. oh, fuck. hang tight, my payment's processing.
46:01 be so fucking for real with me. did you see the seed before? did you play through the seed faster than i played through the seed? so you knew, so you fucking knew what was happening? you know what's crazy? i don't know if anybody else in here twitch partners. staff cover your ears.
46:18 i got an email a couple of months ago that made me laugh so hard. it was like we've released a new feature on the website. you can buy gifted subscriptions with the balance on your like twitch revenue that hasn't been paid out yet.
46:34 that would, dev ko cover your ears. that was normally people are like, i'm worried about the state of the website because of this video i watched. i'm like, don't worry about it. that's the one that had me freaking out a little bit where they were, they were sent out an email that was like, if you want, you could like, we could like deduct gift subs out of your pay. i went, wait a second. i think that seems like one of the things that happens like right before they start playing the, doing the string quartet as the ship goes down, man.
47:05 that was scary for me. that was a scary ass email. i'm cloning borrowed time, man. if i'm gonna lose, i'm gonna do it my way. you could have cloned wisp? i don't have ice cream, young pup. what am i gonna do with a handful of wisps? it retains? oh, no it doesn't, motherfucker. now you're gonna have me cloning this eight times and then i won't be able to upgrade them at the campfire because i'll have to fucking clone at the campfire, bro.
47:33 when upgraded, so now you're gonna say, okay, dr. no show, you wanna go for the tier three? tier three or ban, next shop, is it gonna have the tent in it? i haven't even seen them type. they know the ideal moves to get out of the casino as soon as you win. i respect them for that, to be honest with you. i respect them. he said yes. i wouldn't put that evil on you. i know how insidious gambling can be. but i will check the shop and we'll like, you know, it'll be part of your lore. it'll be part of your lore if it's in there.
48:02 i'll be honest with you. i'll give you the tier three if it's in there, but i'm not gonna ban you if it's not in there. because i don't think that that's fair. oh shit. okay, see? we're all good. we're all good. i know they say not to eat before bed, but do chips count? i wish this wasn't the case. i have horrible news for you. chips count more. chips count more. bananas don't count. you can have a banana before bed. i'm not saying you should be eating bananas and less chips. that's up to you. but
48:34 bananas don't like a banana before bed doesn't count a little bit of cheese doesn't count chips counts double though cuz all the oil sits like in the top of your duodenum man insufficient blocky you guys remember the minecraft movie? i mean for some of us that shit never ended man. what do you mean by that? i mean, i've been quoting it to my kid like non stop. that's what i mean by it or kid. she's doing alright she kind of likes it honestly i forgot to tell you
49:05 yesterday, she had an activity. the activity, as soon as you get, it's a parent's nightmare. as soon as the activity gets out, they leave the door and there's like an awesome playground right there. so you're always like in this mode as a parent of like, we gotta get home, we gotta, we gotta get home because then we gotta go to the grocery store because then we gotta get the food to cook for dinner because then we gotta finish dinner by this time so we can do all the dishes by this time so that we can take our bath by this time so we can read stories by this time so we can put you to bed by this time so we can wake up at this time and do it all over again.
49:33 so a playground that's awesome, entering the field of view has the chance to throw this delicate homeostasis into total disbalance, right? we got a little lucky yesterday because it was raining. but she said, i still want to play. and i said, okay, we'll play a little bit, but like not as much as we would if it was sunny. so she climbs up to the top of the jungle gym and she wants to go down the slide. the slide is soaking wet.
50:01 she says, daddy, i have an idea. can i go down the slide one time on my jacket? and i said, you know what? sure. we're trying to we're trying out this new thing where instead of me trying to like force my will as the parent because of the authority that i have, instead i let her win some battles so that i can have greater cachet to win battles later in the night that actually matter. so she got on the code and then she was like,
50:30 daddy, i'm scared. and i was like, don't be scared. the slide is not that it's not that tall. she said, okay. and then the second she got any downward momentum. it was like a rocket ship, man. it was the frictionless like
50:47 recycled plastic bottle rain jacket combined with the water on the plastic slide. she literally went down and was like, she hit like every single facet of the exterior of the slide in half of a second from the top to the bottom. and at the bottom she was going like, it felt like she was going like 30 kilometers an hour. i grabbed her
51:13 when i grabbed her, my pinky finger went up her nostril. so while also getting like eviscerated by the slide, she also got poked up the nostril by like an adult's pinky finger.
51:27 then when she got off, she was very upset. and i was like, are you okay? and she's like, you, you put your finger in my nostril. and i was like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. are you okay? and she's like, yeah, i'm okay. and then, but she was crying for like, i don't know, maybe like 15 minutes after that. and then she just, she started, she would climb up to the top of the jungle gym and go, i wish it was sunny. i wish it was sunny. she's a funny one, man.
51:58 now this is not typical, by the way we lose here, which is why i'm playing this. this is not typical five year old behavior, which is both positive and also sometimes requires a little bit more work and understanding from me and her mom. but it's very funny. it's very funny. ghibli, remember when you used to play slay the spire on stream? that was a different day, man. those two days were like a fortnight. bucky's got my guts bubbling, bro.
52:31 i believe it. well, what did you get? also, you're also so fucking real for what we were both talking about yesterday. i think it's awesome that one of the best parts of being in america is large fucking zero sugar or diet sodas. getting a 62 ounce or an 80 ounce large soda with zero calories that tastes good as fuck and is also hydrating is so awesome.
52:57 but then people who literally drink it will be like, it actually sucks. yeah, i get like one a day, it sucks. what are you talking about? it's incredible, man. to be forced to do like a rock climbers grip to be able to hold the size of the soda that you got and it's like $3.99 or something like that, it's so awesome, man.
53:22 there's a lot of bad stuff, don't get me wrong, but that is not one of them. okay, wait, was this a horrible decision? what are you fucking upgrade here? they all suck? fuck this, man. i give up. i give up on this one. there's no good upgrade targets in the necrobinder's default deck, man. minecraft movie three stars in a raucous theater two stars at home. am i valid? honestly, i don't know because you it seems like you need to ask someone who's like you and that isn't me.
53:53 i'm realizing i'm not the typical motherfucker because i'm out here watching agnes varda films on my phone while doing like a peloton ride and like and i understood what was happening to put it in beowulf old english terms um and other people are going i can't watch i can't watch the rundown i can't watch the rundown on my phone i need to watch it in my home theater i need to watch the 4k re release of wedding crashers
54:19 david lynch told me i'm not valid unless i watch fucking dodgeball and underdog story in 16 millimeter like i don't know you got it. you got to find somebody who talks like that it won't be hard good but don't ask me those questions cuz you don't my answers are apparently not applicable to the average person why we hating on dodgeball don't talk to me about dodgeball. i saw it in theaters young pup probably like my second favorite rip porn role
54:42 after artie, larry sanders' assistant from the larry sanders show, which is still to this fucking day the most criminally under seen hbo comedy out there. i'm not taking shots at barry. i'm not taking shots at curb your enthusiasm. but after you finish your sopranos watch through, dig just a little deeper in the crates and get to the larry sanders show. it's so good.
55:10 barry is so good. we ain't talking about barry, we're talking about larry. bored to death is criminally underrated. not really. not really. chow peng yo. it's kind of carried by a goated cast of jason schwartzman, zach galifianakis and ted danson, but is otherwise like, it's just okay. i'd honestly say it's just okay. and that's going from a fellow who's seen it. chiblee, there's still time. the shot from i saw the tv glow that says there is still time in the sidewalk chalk
55:39 but it's about chiblee learning mandarin with kate and myself. can you imagine going to pax 2032 and we're at a table with like all of our friends and just the three of us are speaking in mandarin and completely excluding them? we're just, we're just, just having a hell of a time talking about something, talking about something that they don't know man, they don't know about.
56:05 are you guys going to call me performative when i do my tier list of the 100 movies i've seen in 2026 so far and f1 ends up in the bottom 10? i do have to say it's certainly not a bottom 10% movie, but it is in the bottom 10% of movies that i've seen this year because i've been watching a lot of kino, man. i also don't think it's very good, but i do think i do think i don't i don't see a way where it makes it past 85th.
56:34 out of a hundred, let's put it that way. i just don't see a world in which that could come to pass. that shit getting nominated for editing pissed me off. i mean, i'm not the type of fella that should be saying like, you know, like i shouldn't have an opinion essentially on what gets the academy award for editing, but like i feel like for a fella like me, it just seems like it was loud. the editing is good, motherfucker. you put me in a damn bind on that one. you sound like you know what you're talking about.
57:06 get ripped and roared at the theater? i can't, you're valid. i don't have beef with you, okay? i have, the reason i have beef is with, it's because i have beef with another person that is not you and doesn't exist but also we all know them. which is whenever someone is like, hey have you seen this new movie that sucks ass? and then you have the
57:31 to say, why are you watching that garbage? and they go, oh, so every single movie i have to watch has to be a foreign movie that has some kind of deeper meaning. and then you go, okay, what are the last 10 movies that you've watched? and it's all slop. there's none.
57:48 movies that are even touching the emotional core of what it means to be a human being whatsoever and they're misrepresenting their media choices by saying, oh so if i want to watch something a little bit disposable from time to time then i should just fucking die then. they're literally lying and misrepresenting themselves. and i'm the bad guy. they should be watching hard boiled. they should be watching artisanal slob. they should be watching some oh hung movies. they should be watching mr. vampire.
58:17 the ads are kind of ass nowadays. guy who thinks the ads were better in the olden days. actually, literally they were though. because now even the ads are slop now. even the ads are like, remember when terry crews played that guy in white chicks? by a chevy silverado. here he is again, intimating that he's doing the same bit but he legally can't say he's that guy anymore.
58:42 because then they would owe the, you know marlin and shawn wayans or probably keenan ivory wayans who i imagine had a role either in writing or directing the film. they would owe them a lot of money. yeah, i'd say w. wayans brothers. i'll be fucking seated for her scary movie. gonna get triggered. okay, that's pretty funny. wait, does the trailer have like, the trailer has pronouns jokes? i didn't know that. i didn't know that.
59:17 it does? i only see the first like three seconds where it says uh, does it say like he he's pretty scary or something and then i saw a guy in a michael jackson outfit and i went stop right there you got me. i should have kept watching. i didn't know because i was like that's that's really funny. that's the funniest thing i've ever heard. take luna to see mandalorian and grogu? no and honestly i have
59:47 i got beef with you. if you and nick, if you're in chat cover your ears. i got beef with you if you've seen the movie. even if you saw it for free, i got beef with you. your time is worth something man. you don't need to invest 121 minutes into the movie just to be part of the pretend discourse. it doesn't have to happen. my time's actually worthless. in that case, then carry on. i didn't know that. address jay's review?
1:00:22 jay's, i mean, he's a cinema head in the sense that he loves watching movies. i will say, jay, are you in chat? the one thing i will say is that jay's recent reviews have a little bit of a reviewing the reviewer sort of angle to them. because his review of the mandalorian and grogu is we've got to quarantine all star wars fans who think everything star wars related has to be the same tone as
1:00:49 andor. but his review of michael was also like, wow, i'm so surprised critics don't like a biographical, a musical biographical film. so there's two in a row that was kind of like, i'm, they're reviewing the reviewers. so i understand if you take issue with that. i don't want to say i take issue. i'd say jay is a good friend of mine. and i do agree with him on the andor take, not because i know anything about andor, just because like,
1:01:20 i hate talking about anything related to star wars and then everyone goes, yeah, but what about andor? okay, well what about fucking, i've never seen that shit. how does that make you feel? and that ain't gonna change anytime soon. that may change never, i guess, to be honest with you. you hate it for the wrong reasons? i don't hate it at all. i just don't, i've been told 3,000 times that it's good. so like whenever someone's like, you should see it, it's good. i'm like, yeah man, i know. people have been saying that for a while.
1:01:53 if they come out with it on the criterion collection, it'll make the list for sure. they don't get a whole lot of sci fi. that's how i found myself watching john carpenter's dark star, man. what the fuck was i thinking? bro, it's a show? that's why i'm not going to watch it because it's 600 minutes long! and, uh, truffaut's breathless is a lean 90 minutes, bro.
1:02:18 also, they have shows on criterion. you haven't heard of blossom shanghai? no, i haven't heard of that. what is it? yeah, it's the wong kar wai cereal. it's slop, i'm afraid. yeah, i mean, i haven't even seen 2046 yet or chungking express. i gotta get to those first. it did... i'm not gonna lie, and this is not even like... it basically doesn't make sense. but i was a little bit pissed off when we committed to mandarin.
1:02:47 i was taking off the hats with the various languages and then going, ah swedish? nah, i don't think so. tagalog? not this year. i'm committing to mandarin. so i committed to it and then they had the audacity to inform me that all of the wong kar wai movies are in cantonese, bro. so like, i mean that stung a little bit. that stung a little bit because that was one of the big reasons.
1:03:18 obviously, you'd be stunned at some of the capacity of shit that i don't know, to be honest with you. it would blow your little mind. will you ever play defy before a debilitate? okay, sir edward price, you've made the spotlight. chatters who actually know things. does it matter the order you play defy and debilitate? doesn't matter, doesn't matter, does not matter at all. doesn't matter, does not matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
1:03:53 doesn't matter. it doesn't matter at all. it's tough for you because you have a very unique badge too. your badge is the umbrella corp from resident evil. not a lot of people have that badge. and then you would slash user sir and there's not many other people with a sir underscore. and no reply sense, huh? read the description. okay. i'll bite.
1:04:24 vulnerable and weak are twice as effective against the enemy for the next three turns. so let's have a dialogue here. what do you think weakness being twice as effective means? when would we see that manifest on a turn in slay the spire? it gives 2x double damage? no, it doesn't. which is fine. so you're even wronger. how much more do you need to own him? you already got him. i'm not, i'm just asking them to type. i'm just asking them to type.
1:04:54 they clearly seem to know what they're talking about. still the last message, read the description. still in chat because the auto complete is working. they would do less damage. yeah, that's correct. they would do less damage on their turn. their damage does not apply until their turn though, which happens at the end of our turn. the order in which we play the cards happens on our turn. well, we still have autonomy. it doesn't matter when you apply the weakness. if you apply double debilitate,
1:05:23 like weakness is twice as effective for three turns. even if you apply weakness on the third turn, it still does half as much damage on that turn. it applies like at runtime. it doesn't mean you apply two stacks of weakness. that would be amazing. in fact, that's why they had to nerf this card because when it got upgraded it had two weak and it was the greatest card that's ever been invented. if it applied twice that would that would be awesome. what if the enemy had artifact?
1:05:50 well, you know, okay, first off, they don't but they will soon because we're on the second floor. but that's a great question. then it's then it's a case by case basis. because sometimes you might want the weakness more than the debilitate. sometimes you might want to debilitate more than the weakness, i guess. is anyone else being cooked alive right now? okay, wait, wait, wait, context info. are you actually being cooked alive? or is it just really hot? which is i'm not i'm not mad at you for being dramatic. but this is a very important piece of intel.
1:06:17 my advice would change depending on the context. i'm being boiled as we speak. get out of the pot. you need to get out of the... are you listening to me? you need to get out of the pot right now. dump out of the pot. and don't say something like, it's not that hot. i think i can hang out here a little longer. you have to get out of the pot. don't say you'll get... i'll just tough it out till i get used to it.
1:06:40 you're gonna hate the rework this guy got on beta branch? i mean by the time i see it they might rework it again man. that's one of the just i'm raining it in! i'm raining it in! although watching ludwig stream a little slay the spire yesterday, i was kind of like um... who the hell is this guy? he was fighting a boss that looked like a fucking... like an adam? i don't know. i was like what the fuck is going on with this thing right here? even ludwig's on the beta branch?
1:07:10 i mean, the bros were playing minecraft, league of legends and geoguessr for like a month. why my man luddy on the beta branch in slay the spire 2? he was in the tournament? i'm just saying, you know. he really thought he was on the nl level. he thought he needed to be on the cutting edge of the most recent patch.
1:07:30 i don't trust that man. well, listen, i don't know all of ludwig's like deepest darkest secrets, but i will say he's literally like one of the nicest guys i've ever met in this business. and i honestly think it's crazy for me to say this, but that's how you're going to know it's true. i think he has a handsome buff because he's handsome, but i also think he has a handsome debuff where like straight dudes will implicitly have a higher barrier to entry for thinking ludwig is a good person because he's handsome.
1:07:58 i think he's like a stand up comedian being handsome. that's like all the losers like me in the audience are like, this guy can't be before he even says anything. this guy can't be funny. he's handsome. i guess he's got a long, a long hill to climb. let's put it that way. that's why i instantly trusted you. you're so lucky i'm cool because you're staff.
1:08:22 you shouldn't be saying that as staff especially, which is why you're awesome for saying it. because the fact that you shouldn't be saying it is exactly why it's funny. you get it! you get it.
1:08:38 guys who are conventionally handsome are automatically untrustworthy and put me off, i.e. henry cavill. you got the wrong guy, man. i don't know anything about henry cavill, but i think you got him confused with armie hammer, which i've done many times. armie hammer is the one that you're mad at, i think.
1:08:58 i don't know if henry cavill's done anything that you should be mad at him for. armie hammer was doing some stuff. i don't think he actually ate people, just to be clear. but i don't know, maybe. maybe you gotta do something when you got that kind of baking soda money, i guess. they glazed him because he played video games? yeah, but that's not his fault. that's the glazers' dilemma, man. pick that up with the glazers. by the way, i don't give a fuck about henry cavill, just for the record. i don't think we're making it.
1:09:27 i don't know. maybe we spent so much energy playing frantics. maybe our deck is better than i thought it was. ethereal transform a card in your draw pile into soul. we do want to draw more. nine damage, two additional damage for each soul in your draw pile. that would have been huge on that last one. in your exhaust pile. that would have been huge on the last one. we need something that scales though. this scales a little bit by bit. yeah, it does damage as a fight goes on, which we need.
1:10:00 start of each turn draw two additional coins literally just doesn't work what we're doing at the start of each combat add one of five random cards to your hand and retain the chosen card. i hate playing with apparitions man. i know they're good. okay. no, that's a slave this buyer one thing they get not they get not exhaust.
1:10:25 oh, they just lose ethereal. oh my god, you almost broke my heart the number of times i've said no to this without thinking that when they get upgraded, they're like a reusable intangible. i could have really, there's a lot of runs where i would have gotten a lot of use out of that. maybe every run i've ever done.
1:10:42 this is big though. a veil piercer into a free defy changes everything for us. we're taking like two damage. taking two damage to me indicates that we have the opportunity to get... well, just play your cards, man. it retains though. yeah, so why would i not like play a zero cost attack that draws like when i get it? i guess like i could hold it so that i could demonstrate to you that i know that it has retained but like
1:11:12 from like a standpoint of like imagine i was a guy who wanted to win the run i guess is what i'm trying to say like if you imagine that the character of northernlion has that ambition how would that serve me? next to fi is free but spirit of ash first in principle. whisper, okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, we got something cooking now.
1:11:39 all i'm seeing is cope. yeah, but is it cope from the chatters who want me to lose or is it cope from the streamer who wants to win? neither. oh shit. i wasn't ready for that. i wasn't ready for that one. still feeling really good about the situation after the gamblers brew. this shit is taking too fucking long though. i'm losing focus. i'm losing confidence. play two attacks and kill them. holy shit. why was i no okay, with this we have to have a
1:12:13 we have to have a pseudonym for this potion. homer's outfit? okay. debilitate to set up the future. borrow time into the delay. this might be like an hour and a half just to get the last two fights done. and that's if we have a chance to win, which i'm not totally sure we do. but we'll see. we lived the fight another day. this is gonna suck though. this is gonna suck ass. anyone doing damage turn one? 19 damage turn one.
1:12:51 any ideas, chat? yeah, of course we're gonna pop the potion. but like, we're gonna, like... if i may, we're like, you're watching slow motion footage of a car crash and you're going, brace your core. like the dude's about, you remember that dude got hit with the van in robocop? if there's a narrow line, i wanna know. otherwise you're saying like, you know, take a box breathe before you get eviscerated. you're doing nine damage, that's nothing.
1:13:23 we're living a little longer than i expected, y'all. getting feeble, and then struck, and then weakened. we're not doing damage fast enough because the queen is gonna pop out mighty strong. delay does go crazy here. i'm dead, y'all. i didn't play it when it was bound. oh, that's rough. that was a really tough one, honestly.
1:14:18 yeah, might have to be the dolls. something happened with 007 first light because i was mean, i wrote it on my calendar, play it on wednesday and then it fucking just, i think they like dropped it by accident or something or maybe they had the release date in steam wrong the whole time. like i don't know what happened but until yesterday it said it was coming out on the 27th. today's the damn 26th man. he got early access for pre orders. yeah but it's like
1:14:44 but today is the early access day according to the release date that they had on steam. so there's a part of me that thinks they were like, ah hell, they've been good. just give it to them a day early. but if that were the case, clearly we would have like 10 people in chat that are like, io interactive fucked me. i took wednesday off from work to play the release date of 007 first light, but then they just shadow dropped it on tuesday and fucking fucked me.
1:15:14 i skipped a test in high school to play skyrim? that seems fine. honestly, i'm here to say you're forgiven. received benediction. calc test and i aced the makeup? okay, well you don't have to try to maw, chat, tell them that you aced high school calculus. you were skipping school to play an elder scrolls game, bro. i already knew you were a nerd.
1:15:42 it was the elder scrolls game. we don't need to do this, but i hate skyrim. we don't like, i played it. it's just not for me. not only did i play, i beat it on those vaunted sunday subscriber streams because it won a poll that said you should play skyrim, which is why, one of the many games that won those polls that made me realize democracy does not work. sorry guys, it just doesn't.
1:16:10 why the fuck you got nl out here playing deus ex human revolution? wow, he's my favorite streamer. i would love to see him play deus ex human revolution. like what the fuck were you doing? what were you thinking? don't come after my goat? i'm just, it's not, it's like, why am i playing it? why do you want me to play it? they also gave us new vegas. not wrong, buddy. i chose new vegas.
1:16:34 you played games back then it was a different time? games or uncharted style universal studios type interactive cutscenes? games or despicable me minion rush from universal studios singapore? because whenever i play a game that has actual mechanics, people type in chat,
1:16:50 is this for the phone? this doesn't look like a game. if this is a game, why am i not getting behind a half wall and then pressing the left trigger to pop over it and shooting an unending stream of npc enemies who have the worst aim in any media property in history? it seems like he's actually having to do some strategy here to prioritize using his resources properly in order to achieve takeoff velocity to beat this enemy before they beat him. minion rush is pretty good.
1:17:18 it's one of the better subway surfers clones for sure. and we're back with the dulls. i mean, i see house carl's from the war of the roses, 100%. spartacus? probably spartacus? that's rome, man. oh shit, it's the life of brian! my bad, my bad, mr. chapman. it's the life of brian. during the golden knights inaugural season, they defeated this team in five games in the western conference finals. wasn't the canucks, i'll tell you that.
1:17:51 for a lot of reasons. one being we were asked, the other one being we've only played in the playoffs once and we won, which is fucking crazy. i don't know why the rest of the league finds it so difficult. no, wait, we lost, didn't we? didn't we lose in game seven? nevermind, nevermind. they're pretty good. they're pretty good.
1:18:14 was it the demko series? uh, you're not a ball nower. demko doesn't play a series. he might play game 1 and game 2 before he tears his acl. who was the u.s. vice president during the reagan administration? dang quail, bro. no, it's george h.w. bush, my bad. i'm off my ball today. this, on the other hand, is john malkovich and glenn close. that's... i got that one locked down. what the... j.k. simmons? j.k. simmons and glenn close? that's not... that could be ron howard, man! that could be ron howard!
1:18:50 i'm getting my ass beat. pizza by the foot was a three foot long rectangular pizza introduced by pizza hut. oh, fuck. giancarlo esposito had a breakout role playing gustavo fring on this cable drama. yeah, man, that's break. thank you. that's breaking bad. matt damon was a cia assassin in the movie jason bourne. born in 1965, bjork is from what country? wow, it's a tough one, man.
1:19:23 whatever. it looks like a fucking tasty patisserie. which has more google searches? goofy or narcissist? say narcissist? gotta be like about two years old to be searching goofy. narcissist or leprechauns? i'm gonna say narcissist. leprechauns or boston bombing? i should say leprechauns. like christianity? no, boston bombing is this. i'm sorry, more or less. i just, i don't believe you.
1:20:05 i don't believe you that boston bombing has, well, it could have more searches than christianity, but i'm telling you, christianity does not have 246,000 searches a month. there's no shot. this is not like 50 million searches a month. well, superpowers must, well, this one is less disreputable to me. go ahead and, i'm not going to go ahead and lose that one. it's my bad. also, i thought their name was triple red the whole time. now that i see it in this font, i see that it's trippy red.
1:20:35 honestly, i mean, i don't know trippie redd, but i'm going to say i probably, gun to my head, would rather listen to everything they've ever done than listen to a single bon jovi song in my entire life because i've already heard all of them 10,000 times against my will. but i do think that bon jovi is going to have more spotify plays for sure. prices, oh shit.
1:21:02 the oldest original bookbinding in existence from the year 698 or like a broken chair that she wrote two books in a broken chair i'm not i'm not just doing this to virtue single it looks like shit i wrote harry potter we know we know we know you wrote harry potter it says griffin door on the damn chair
1:21:29 you may not really don't judge me by what you see what it's got to be the oldest book in existence man. world's largest cat painting. i don't think anyone i don't think a painting being large indicates that it's valuable. i'm gonna go with the whoa. nevermind, man. illinois shaped cornflake. i don't think that's pictured. i think this is like a stock image. but let me tell you this one.
1:22:00 has a certain illinois type quality to it. let's go with the world's largest cap painting, of course. pwnus wagner baseball card. it's like the most expensive baseball card in the world. miles from earth to the moon or teeth a snail has. i'd be really surprised if a snail had like 80,000 teeth. well, you know what? i was off by like the same amount of both direction. both directions. xbox gamer score goes way higher than 25,000. that's a given.
1:22:36 i'm gonna guess there's probably not 2.1 million floors in the burj khalifa that shit would stretch from getting in the elevator and hitting like floor 1 million nine hundred and seventy two thousand and then the get the fucking fire alarm goes off mars moons gotta be countries that have never when the when the dole has a distribution at the end of it
1:23:11 mmm, you were cooking with this one. i still and i'm it's not your fault i'm not sure that the google searches one works just because i cast aspersions on the validity of the data because what you're saying is like everybody already knows about it but the the corollary to that if you're fucked up world you made sense then you're telling me that the least popular things in the world would have the most searches because people would be like oh something i've never heard of let me search that up. i
1:23:43 when really the most popular thing to search in the world is like mickey mouse, coca cola, lebron james. all one word with no spaces between them. suki's mini samosa trio, 26 pieces. three flavors of samosa, 26 pieces. suki, you fucking devil. that's not divisible by three. so now... i slipped into the kamala impression a little bit there. so now...
1:24:20 i'm going to have two lunches of nine somosas and one lunch with eight somosas. it doesn't go anywhere after that. it doesn't go anywhere after that. it's not your best, but you know you knew what i was going for. you knew what i was going for. i think this is 14.99 canadian reduced to 11.99 for the us market. i got to check vcbe. is the us dollar okay? why don't they make it easily divisible?
1:24:58 not to corpo stand, but like suki is probably making like 7% margins or something like that. and then if they add one more samosa, that's like 4% down the drain.
1:25:13 what they should have done is had 13 different flavors of samosa so that you could have two lunches of 13 samosas, one with each flavor and then instead of it being a three lunch pack it would be a two lunch pack and you'd buy 50% more of suki's samosas if they really wanted to fucking screw you and reward you.
1:25:36 and now can i recommend a doll to you? it's called geogrid. this is not, you're not evil for this. you're not evil for not knowing something. but at the same time ignorance is not a defense. we've been doing the dolls so long people are recommending dolls that we used to do but don't do because i don't like them. just doesn't uh, doesn't titillate me as much as some of the other ones.
1:25:54 were you ever a tradal guy? i was a tradal guy, but tradal started pissing me off because i prefer when there's no bias introduced in the selection process. so like in world law, you're just as likely to get the united states of america as you are to get the solomon islands. but tradal was like consistently
1:26:17 for months just pulling countries that were like, hey, the total trade that they do, their total exports are like $106 million and the main thing they export is coconut husks. and i got to the point where i was like, well, i just can't keep doing this, man. you need to, at some point, i've done all the pacific island nations that export 75 grand worth of cuttlefish a year.
1:26:45 every once in a while you gotta throw in like an italy or something like that just to break up the monotony. i'm not even gonna fucking lie to you, when i went out for my anniversary dinner with my wife, i seriously, i had on a white polo shirt, like forest green pants and brown shoes, and i was like, it's too late to change, man. it's okay, i can't change. i'm just gonna hope nobody notices that i'm dressed like peter griffin. it was so peter griffin coded.
1:27:16 he's ruined the whole outfit for me, just by existing. susan sarandon, kathy bates, her burger joint employee, brrr. bad day keeps getting worse. she wrecks her car, loses her job, and finds out her husband's been unfaithful. it's time to... tammy. i have no idea, honestly, man. i'm not familiar with tammy, to be honest.
1:27:51 why does the poster has like the breaking bad filter on top of it, which has taken me out. there's no way tammy strikes the same tone as a vince gilligan tv show. just because it came out in 2014, they gave it the breaking bad. my name of jeff mentioned, i got to see the chinese dub when he says my name of jeff. like what do you think in the chinese dub of 22 jump street, what do you think he replaces jeff with? if anything, and also what kind of voice do you think he does?
1:28:21 you think he just goes, watch out jeff. you think he just does something like that? it's the wrong tone. bro channing tatum hits the wrong tone when he says my name of jeff. that's why it's funny. eric bana, a crime movie you haven't seen true evil. troubled cop sarchie fails to find a rational explanation for bizarre crimes.
1:28:48 however, his eyes are open to a frightening alternate reality when renegade jesuit priest mendoza convinces him that demonic possession may be to blame for the gruesome murders. deliver us from devil. devil, devil, deliver us from, from thee, from, i'm freaking out. thee from, deliver us evil. devil or us.
1:29:20 devil or us, japan droids mentioned. canadian bias? i thought i saw a big spider on my wall, but i think i might just be developing a cataract. or maybe my peripheral vision got so good that i can see the edge of my headphone through my peripheral vision. well, i'll keep an eye on that.
1:29:47 if you turned your eyes like 180 degrees, would you see the inside of your eye sockets? or would like, i guess i don't know what the alternative would be. has anyone ever tried it? there's no light reaching in there? surely if you opened up like wide enough, you could get some light in there. because people get like eye infections and i'm pretty sure bacteria is bigger than like photons.
1:30:14 two really good movies. isn't this the easiest one? wait, i can do this. i just can't do this with swanky yet. cause christian bale's in terminator salvation, then you just take that to arnold, the terminator dark fate. but like, okay, knowing that, wait, i fucking know you. who the fuck are you? let's swanky it up here. who the fuck are you? cause i know you. that's emily watson from punch drunk love, of course. okay, well you go emily watson to punch drunk love.
1:30:42 to adam zandler, no to philip seymour hoffman, to fucking fargo, to fucking bigelbowski, to fucking steve buscemi, to fargo, to francis, to nomadland, to swanky, to nomadland, to david. and then you take david out, we're trying to get to terminator dark fate. hang on, i have something. bradley, just give me a second, bradley cooper,
1:31:13 hurricane of fun, the making of wet hot, paul rudd, paul rudd to anchorman, to seth rogen, to funny people. no, paul rudd to seth rogen, back to anchorman, to paul rudd, to i love you man, to lou ferrigno, to pumping iron, which stars arnold schwarzenegger, who's in dark fan. yeah!
1:31:46 that's how you fucking do it. shortest is two is crazy. brother, i did the shortest. i did it in my head. i did it in my head. you said through arnold? oh yeah, you can use linda hamilton or you could use arnold. arnold's in terminator salvation 2. i fucking see that. i saw it in theaters. it sucks. it's really bad. if you're going to the movie theater in summer of 2008, save yourself some time. just go see the hangover. don't buy a ticket.
1:32:16 don't buy a ticket for terminator salvation. you don't need to see it. worst movie you've ever seen in the theater? transformers 2 is really bad. zach braff's garden state follow up, the last kiss. x3, the last stand. i've seen a lot of movies i didn't really like in the theater. iron man 2 is, i mean, it's not great. it's not that bad. probably some shit that i watched when i was a kid, to be honest. tom cruise wore the world's worst movie you've seen in theaters?
1:32:47 bro, that's crazy. like the movie's not bad. it's steven spielberg. that movie's good. megalopolis? i honestly think you gotta go back on that because megalopolis, you can only see it in theaters, man. or i guess maybe on plex. yeah, okay. i did see cowboys versus aliens in theaters. that was, i mean, literally not my choice, but ah shit, wait, there's a lot of bad ones. on a date in high school, i saw the reboot of when a stranger calls, like february 2006.
1:33:17 that was pretty stupid. also not my choice. darkness falls, the slasher movie where the tooth fairy's the devil.
1:33:26 saw that at a birthday party. call it clerks 2. clerks 2 is so... you're surfacing memories that i've surfaced, but you're resurfacing them and i appreciate it. clerks 2 is just not a good movie going experience for me. it was one of those... it really was... i'm glad that matt johnson has typified it within nirvana, the band, to show the movie. it was kind of like, i'm in the wrong timeline. why is everybody laughing at all this donkey stuff? like i'm
1:33:56 18 years old, i'm an 18 year old boy. i'm seeing clerks too and i'm the only person that doesn't think this donkey stuff is like the funniest thing they've ever heard in their entire lives. like what's going on? adjutant. a noun meaning a new slay the spire character leaked. swankiest. an adjective meaning characterized by show damn, wait a second. now what if swanky was a rapper? of all the swankies, i am the most swankiest.
1:34:27 crab pizza? this is crazy, man. they got them arranged like they're summoning something. see this? this looks a little bit more practical. this looks crazy. a pr a pr pr ansa. a pr pransa. doesn't sound french, but could it be senegalese nonetheless? or could it be from mali? could it be from... could it be from... from nigeria to the west? nigeria to the south, mali to the south. could it be from...
1:35:09 senegal? could it be from ghana? okay, we get there. sure, man, whatever. i'll try the crab summoning circle. this is dongchimi, bro. okay, well, listen, naba kimchi and dongchimi appear very similar. i love a dongchimi. don't get me wrong. yeah, i've eaten it 100 times. make korean?
1:35:35 you're so lucky. i don't remember what the word for small is in korean, or i would be calling you that chingu and telling you don't worry about it young pup, but i only know joe gum. okay. only note. i think told them chingu is not what i'm looking for. cause that means we're a little bit friends, which we the fuck aren't by the way. so if it was anything, but
1:36:05 one of the worst plates of central european food i think i've ever seen in my life. it would be the easiest pick of all time. but the two gherkins and the crinkle cut beets with the herring and the fried egg on top of the gruel is so crazy. what is this, man? conical cake? sure, it's probably tasty as fuck, man. chicken pastel. that's an easy one. potatoes?
1:36:39 mix potatoes with potato baltic cuisine first great and drain potatoes then combine the mixture with potato flour. that's crazy, man. i believe it though. fair enough. fair enough. sweet pastry resembling a delicious cross between a cinnamon bun and a donut famously crowned with a bright pink icing. apparently it's thunder bay cuisine. i mean, i would eat it but
1:37:11 never been to thunder bay award. if they wanted me to go there, they shouldn't have put it so far fucking north. and then you know what's crazy? is you realize you're living in the parts of ontario where like people actually live, where like it's habitable for human beings. it's like a 19 hour drive to thunder bay.
1:37:30 and then that's like where manitoba starts, man. just to give you some idea. just to give you a little idea of how fucked up you can get in the prairies. that's where manitoba starts. come on, man. be serious. 96% for the marble cooking? cucumber sandwich versus pickles. pickled vegetables? cucumber sandwich is legitimately not that bad.
1:38:06 all right, i should have followed my instincts, man. yeah, we're gonna go with stolen on that one. basivan kebab be or i mean a guy like me could start to pronounce this so i don't know. it looks pretty fucking good though. this this piece right here if you ignore the rest of the image and you just keep this. this is what the hot bar at whole foods looks like if you show up after like 1102 am.
1:38:33 it's just bones in sauce, man. i don't know who the evil motherfuckers are that are going in there and chopping it up with the slotted spoon, making sure they get no bones, and only leaving bones for the other customers, which is crazy. this shit is gonna piss me off because a donut is one of the most perfect foods ever made. okay, it gets over the anti american bias. steak and cheese pride? it looks pretty fucking good, man. that's a pizza, for one, but it looks pretty fucking good.
1:39:09 turkey, salt, beef, carrot, potato, turnip, cabbage, strawberry, pudding, and gravy for five pounds thirty five. i mean this looks good as fuck. this is the kind of shit i was eating like twice a week when i was a kid. and i was like, why am i chubby? it's like because i'm having like boiled beef, mashed potatoes, and gravy stuffing in like four dinner rolls every monday and thursday. still, i go with this. i'm not even mad. that's fine. that's cooked with love. yeah, don't even do you what?!
1:39:42 a hockey porky bowl, the type of thing you can only order in a british accent. or it's really just a glob. it's disgusting but i believe that it tastes awesome. this at least has some air to... you can breathe. it's claustrophobia inducing. i would eat this. i love a sausage roll but i would never look at it like that.
1:40:12 this is i'll tell you right out the i know we've done this before. this is from rogers arena. this is from the vancouver canucks game because this is the where they this is the biodegradable container that they serve you at the triple o's at the rogers arena. and it's in it's in canada. this is 100. this is canucks green right here. i could tell this is at gate like 316.
1:40:34 um, both insulting this more insulting just due to the price to scratch. okay, whatever man i guess you're the beer the factor in 14 pounds for the beer tomatoes not real picture of a tomato burger and chips much better man. it's got to be the hawk burger. i don't even know why i was thinking about it this is looks like the fella from prometheus that they'd done woke up codes been there for a while looking at the state of things but
1:41:10 double sausage, egg and hash brown muffin looking pretty tasty versus the chicken corner kick fries. french fries, popcorn, chicken, buffalo sauce, cheese sauce, ranch green onion, tomatoes. yeah. mmm. but this looks really good. oh, it's not even close. it wasn't even close.
1:41:41 that was not supposed to be daniel plainview. that was supposed to be the costco guys, but it begs the question, what if the costco guys were daniel plainview? i drink your double chunk chocolate cookie. costco guys, not to be the guy who makes everything into his current special interest, costco guys kind of have their own tonal language to them, don't they? i don't know if they have the four tones, but they got a few like double
1:42:09 double chunk. that's more of like a tone for chalk chocolate tone to cookie double job. costco double chunk chocolate cookie. i think i'm, i think we're fucking onto something man. cookies, tone for cookie. yeah. costco double chunk chocolate cookie.
1:42:36 rizzler got to be damn near in the ninth grade by now, right? i imagine they have to still be doing stuff, but are they still in the consciousness or are they taking a breather? they were on aew last night. must be kind of crazy to be like aj and big justice, but their fates are intertwined forever now. they can't get rid of the rizzler.
1:43:02 the rizzler, honestly, he could start driving a really hard bargain. he could have a fucked up rider that says like, no green m&ms in the green room or something like that. what are they going to do? get rid of the rizzler? he's in the fifth grade next year? no shot, no shot. the rizzler was born in 2016. he fucking is in the fifth grade next... are you telling me that the fucking... when the rizzler got popular, he was like seven years old? yes, yes, yes. what the fuck? he was seven?
1:43:33 i thought he was 10 for sure. i didn't think he was 14, but i thought he was 10 maybe. he was eight going on talk shows. that's so insane. that's wild, man. oh, here we go. sort these wikipedia articles by the number of all time page views they've received starting with the most. well, there's one thing that's guaranteed. world war ii has more views lifetime than world war i.
1:44:08 i think this is a little more niche. i think there's, are you, i'm being dead ass with you. i think barack obama might be number one. i think it's possible people don't give a fuck, man. oh shit. mother fucker. list of deaths by year maybe? list of deaths by year? most viewed of the six? that's crazy. films last? well i knew like, you know, probably like at least 25 million of those are me.
1:44:43 actually, i've been to all these pages probably 10,000 times each. checking every day to see if my name's on it. that's good tech. more adults with a mobility disability. gilbert town. what's miami? the part where you can't feel a drip on the strip. it's a trip. the place where you only came for two days of playing, but every time i come, i always wind up staying. oh, i didn't think old people lived in miami though. i thought it was all aspiring soundcloud rappers.
1:45:20 20th century lgbtq people, actors died in 1985. are you rock hudson? we win those. any day of the week we fucking win those. can i say that's two fucking ally questions i've gotten right? never call me into doubt ever again. 21st century american academics who are american women writers and british women writers. so they might be a man who writes women of any nationality. 1971 births.
1:45:57 who have translated homer? i don't know, bro. marge? i have no idea. emily wilson? i will learn everything about you when parker posey plays you in a movie, okay? when parker posey plays you in a movie, i will learn everything about you. i'm not disrespecting you. i'm eager when that movie comes out and then eight years later it ends up on the criterion collection, i will add it to my watch list and watch it, okay? it was today, our daily hall. what happened to my browser, man?
1:46:43 is the internet okay? 8 fps gaming? i'm gonna find out like i have a tab open that's just been playing a gif over and over. it's been playing like the same gif from the office for like two and a half days straight just eating more and more ram. i do think, and i mean this sincerely,
1:47:08 i feel like it's possible that something fundamental on the internet broke on like saturday because i do feel like every website has been worse not just in the browser but which would isolate this to my computer but also on my phone and this is out of the house in the house like network not known network changing i should say like some things some things been broken man
1:47:34 it did. credit card processing was down that day too. i fucking knew it, because my samsung pay was not working with clover point of sale machines. and now, as a result of that, i don't feel comfortable leaving the house without having a physical credit card anymore. for a long time, i was living wild and free, just taking my phone, knowing that i'm good for it. but ever since clover and samsung fucked up their handshake, now i feel like i gotta take a fuck ass european style carry all everywhere.
1:48:03 i feel way less free and easy, especially when i'm on the damn bike, bro! now i'm on the bike and every two pedals i got poom, poom, poom. my bag's hitting me. nintendo really went and based the entirety of breath of the wild around this movie, huh? avatar, who are you? i'm you with real thematic depth and thought provoking nuance. edit, never mind avatar rules.
1:48:29 most helpful letterbox review. a rousing, majestic, expansive and creative work by director, title is an amalgamation of boundless story and a genius animation. classical story, a wide range of themes that shift and change as new revelations come to life. my thinking is this could be the wild robot even though it post dates breath of the wild. she is not the people's princess.
1:48:58 the character is shot by the character. the bullet festers within him and turns him into a demon. the lump of iron inside character becomes a broader representation of the de uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
1:49:27 people leaving like three star reviews of the gray man, which deserves zero stars by the way. and then the review just says like two daddies and a baddie or some shit like that. so fucking irritating. number one makes it so easy. well, i haven't played breath of the wild or seen princess mononoke. i hope that helps. so you can understand why i might be a little bit in the dark on that one. chad, i introduced my mom to cutler.
1:49:56 and i swear to you, i watched her look at a fucked up shape. she cut it in the most fucked up way possible and got 50 50. so i must get some of this shit from my dad. like she literally like looked at it for like three seconds and then went like, and i was like, oh no, oh, she's going to be so sad. and then it was like, like confetti was flying out of the screen and shit. okay. let's start. let's start with from brass tacks, man.
1:50:25 this is like very close to 50 50 because you have to realize the bats are not all the same size. the left bat is the biggest. so even though there's more bat, oh so there's more hole on the left which means we need to go a little bit more to the right but not much. i'd love to just know the decimal point. i'd love to know the decimal point, man. my mom would have 50 50'd and she would have cut it like that too which is insane.
1:51:02 mom mogs you? she mogs me in a lot of things. holy cow, it starts playing automatically? you know what this sounds like immediately? it sounds like, we live in cities that people see on screens. we're on a na na na na. okay, i got a slash marker band. i'll cut it out of the vod. i don't know what the name of that song is or who sings it. they used to play it in a peloton cooldown that i took many times. i have no idea, man.
1:51:47 it's really loud is this like it's this girl is on fire
1:52:25 yeah best alicia keys song mmm open parentheses is still really bad impressive eagle. sorry. this is gonna be so loud
1:53:02 that's fucking funny. that is really funny. i hate this song. it's on my daughter's like girl power playlist. there's a few songs on it that i don't fucking mind. i don't mind like a, you know, unwritten by natasha bedingfield. i really do not like this one though. is dark horse on it? no, roar is on it. i think roar is like an okay song too.
1:53:31 i don't really fuck with katy perry, but i think that's like that's one of her best for sure. fight song by rachel platten is on it. i think that's easily a top 50, woat. top 50 worst song of all time. might be the worst song on the girl power playlist. i also, this one, and this is one of those classic situations where you guys are like, i agree with you on everything and then this one's going to make you mad.
1:53:58 also has brave by sara bareilles which is like the exact same song and i think it's almost as bad. it's not quite as bad but it's close. i have no opinion to be honest. hey sir edward prize, that's probably for the best given your opinion on debilitate on our necrobinder run. we ain't your average streamer bro, that shit is locked in the key value pair. hey i learned how a card worked, what can i say? i called you by your full fucking name and then you started talking with a capital at the start and a period at the end. that's fucking crazy. you switched up your whole flow. it got real formal around here.
1:54:30 i should be one of those comedians who only does crowd work. and then when you go see them live, they start the show by saying some shit like, where's everybody from? hey, where are they? in the city that you're in? vancouver. oh shit. yeah. right. good point. no, you're right. they would all be saying burnaby. that is a very good point, man. anybody here got a fucked up job?
1:54:59 oh, please tell me someone here is a budtender. i've got a great budtender joke. i've got an amazing budtender joke. is anybody here a budtender? you really went off in that walmart dancing video? hang on, wait a second. i gotta go... this one here?
1:55:45 i lost my heart in the city i grow so used to you somehow but i'm nobody sugar daddy now i got the lovesick blues well i'm in love, i'm in love with a beautiful gal that's what's the matter with me
1:56:14 why they got him in the fucking starched up white shirt tucked into the jeans with the big ass belt buckle though. he's nine years old man put him in like a sweatshirt and track pants. just like size 13 cowboy boots tapping his foot singing hank williams in the arkansas walmart man.
1:56:43 but i tried and i tried to keep her satisfied, but she just wouldn't stay so now that she's leaving
1:56:57 damn, mason ramsey's kind of the goat, man. hey guys, i got some good two years ago. hey guys, good news. i got some, hey guys, i've got some good news. first i need to apologize for taking a long break away from this space. i believe our personal health and lives matter most and we should put them first regardless of any situations. i took some time off youtube to take care of my personal life, but now i am back.
1:57:16 mason ramsey said, feed the beast. fuck that. i am the beast. i'm going to nourish myself. onto the good news. i'm rebranding the channel to be more of a podcast like light combo space, but don't get it wrong. the bants, jokes and goofy attitude is still very much alive. i'll be running the channel with some good friends and i plan on delivering some amazing content
1:57:34 over the past couple of years, i've got over 700 dms checking to see if i'm all right and i wanted to say a big thank you. i'm back and better than ever. i won't be deleting this video because this video is a foundational brick stone of this channel. huge, man. that's my goat. read the replies to that. you failed miserably trying to kickstart a youtube career off someone else's 15 minutes of fame. this ain't the guy. that's not... that's not the guy. this is just someone who freebooted the mason ramsey video and it's...
1:58:09 they stole his video and now they're talking like, thank you guys for all your support. what's crazy is this kid ended up getting famous and does tours and drives a lamborghini all because you posted this video. is that true? does mason ramsey do tours and drive a lamborghini? it's giving this, i don't know if that, i thought he was working at subway last time i heard, man. he does? that's kind of awesome.
1:58:42 thank you for saying, like, ryan, you're so weird, fucking drift compatible. he is giving hawk tuahh interview her. when people started getting mad at hawk tuahh because she got famous, but the dude, they were like, the dude interviewing her didn't get his own, he didn't get a contract with barstool. yeah, because the dude interviewing her fucking didn't go, spit on that thing, man. he didn't have it. you either have it or you don't, and she fucking had it. anyway, i'm going to send you over to my wife's stream. enjoy.
1:59:12 rest of your day. i'll be back tomorrow. we are going to be playing some hitman or 007, i should say tomorrow, but also tomorrow's demon bluff demo day. so of course we're going to be playing some more demon bluff exclamation point demon bluff. it still works even if it's not in the title. good night y'all. i was just in my car trying to keep my blood pressure down. when i wake up in the morning though and the sunlight hurts my eyes
1:59:44 then i look at you, buh buh buh buh buh, and the words meet me smashing my steering wheel with the bill withers in the background. just one look at you, buh buh buh buh buh, and i know it's gonna be, and then you gotta take a big breath for this one, cause he goes, a lovely day, and he just keeps it going for like, i don't even know, it's like, that might be like a 41 second note if i had to guess.