windows karen - Bits and Banter [07⧸13⧸2026]

Name: windows karen - Bits and Banter [07⧸13⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-07-16
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "windows karen - Bits and Banter [07⧸13⧸2026]" — 348 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-07-16

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0:00 i gotta send an email to this activity my daughter's in to be like, sorry i booked it. we can't fucking do that. what was i thinking? was i insane? was i suffering a psychotic break when i booked this?
0:12 well, it's the activity. deep water diving. it was an underwater welding course for five to six year olds. there's big money in that dude, honestly. i wish someone had told me when i was younger to get into welding. i think it would have really been when i was walking past this garage the other day. i was like, what are you doing, man? i should get into welding, dude.
0:35 i taught at an art camp one summer and there was a wood carving class for middle schoolers and i had a kid come into my drawing class with a huge cut on his face and i was like dude what happened? he was like it was in wood carving i was like oh did you like cut yourself with a knife and he said no i just ran into a broom. i was like what? i don't know. he stepped on it and it was laughing. oh that's basically.
1:00 art camp was so good. your parents would send you there and be like, go make friends. and there'll be like 11 of the quietest kids you've ever seen in your life all sitting there just quietly doing art. my shop teacher was like,
1:12 like the most prototypical crazy guy. i guess the shop teacher was like, i don't know, impossible to describe all of his eccentricities, but just like classic crazy guy, divorced guy who just loves wood and doesn't really have any social skills. he was kind of unfortunately, kind of the laughing stock of the school. that's a really mean way to put it. he caught a lot of heat from mean students basically. and one day,
1:41 i used to drive from chicago to indiana every fourth of july to buy fireworks. and one day me and my friends were driving back from on the highway from indiana. and in the pickup truck next to us, we saw our shop teacher crying alone in his truck.
2:02 he probably wasn't crying that everybody was mean to him at school, but like it totally humanized it. like it gave him so much like, internality that i had never even thought to impart onto him. it was crazy. i mean, i think the kids making fun of him definitely was like part of the soup of sadness. so it was definitely a contributing. it was an ingredient for sure. you're also describing, you're like, it's a, she was a shop teacher and everybody made fun of him. like, oh, you're describing a man who's about to snap a man
2:31 i think i saved someone's life though in shop class once.
2:45 well, wait, who was it? um, actually, it was this girl that we ran into many years later on the street. that was very mean. i can't remember her name. i know exactly who you're talking about. her initials are alliterative.
3:02 i dropped it in the discord, but please don't read it out loud. that's a crazy name. that's such a good high school name. fucking name. oh my god. we went to school together. i don't remember that it's ryan. that's insane. that's true. so one of the like assistants was putting something through the table saw, but it was a piece of wood with like
3:30 like he was cutting right through a knot. it kicked back and it flew out and i have like really good reaction time so i stuck my hand out to stop it and i looked back after and her face was like right in front of my hand.
3:46 and then long story short though, my thumb went really cold and i was like to our teacher, i was like, hey, uh, you know, it hurts a bit, but like my thumb is ice cold. like what should i do? and he's like, man, you're fine.
4:01 i remember i took like furniture design in college and i was behind on making the piece for my final. and i was using the bandsaw in a way that was apparently so alarming that the teacher came over and he was like, hey man, you can have a couple extra days. just stop doing that. oh no. okay, cool. like you're freaking everyone out? you can just do the bandsaw in a way that's alarming is a great sentence. yeah.
4:25 my freshman year of high school i was wearing the extra large creed t shirt that i wore every single day. i was in shop class and one of the sleeves of it got caught in the drill and the drill just started like siding me up.
4:44 and the helper, there was a special education kid in the class who had a full time helper around to help him and stuff and she ran over and very quickly untangled it.
5:01 and in that moment, i was like, i think this is what i need. this is my sacrifice. oh, i love past stories. can i tell you something super embarrassing for a guy playing a video game? i took two grab all before the stream started, and i have two motion sickness patches behind my ears.
5:29 just to make sure my little equilibrium system doesn't get too screwed up by this game where you paint on yourself and walk around. are those real motion sickness patches? they're... real is an interesting term. they're like herbal supplements. okay.
5:49 may or may not have some effects. yeah, it says like supports your motion sickness system on the packet away. i played there was some like vr game where you like swung around like spider man and it was very fun and then i went down and like did a big drop and it was at work because they had work vr work and i like did the big drop and like threw the headset off because i was about to throw up on the floor of the office.
6:12 oh god. sorry, they had you playing spider man vr at work? yeah, it's a company called college humor. they're pretty cool. ever heard of it? they like to party.
6:25 justin, i saw your beef on instagram and it inspired me to do my own beef. nice. i'm going to cook my beef today after either after stream. i thought you meant beef with another individual. i was fighting and it made libby want to fight someone else. yeah, i was like, actually that sounds awesome. yeah.
6:46 what if are you mrs. piss? yeah, i'm mrs. piss. that's good. lovely. that's what we call digby, if she pisses somewhere that's not the letterbox. i thought boba was pissing in my bed and i was shocked and i was like oh no something might be wrong and then i realized he just licks the bed. mal, if you're the drawing you've done on yourself, he had diarrhea on his front or is that like hair?
7:11 i think that's pubes. i think that's pubes. i've got a ginger bush. ginger bush. also, a mattering of pubes.
7:21 and now is he a fan of the shining or is he in some way related to the shining? he's part of a stanley kubrick fan club. okay, that'll do it. that was actually, that was just on the flash at the tattoo shop. just head to head. it was friday the 13th so it was like $50. so how can you pass it up?
7:46 i missed god, this is gonna be the oldest thing i've ever said. i missed when friday the 13th tattoos were $13 back in my day. now they're $1,500. you can get a damn chico stick for a nickel. so friday the 13th being cheap tattoo day is just a thing that everybody knows.
8:06 yeah, i was totally lost, thank you for saying that. well, okay, okay, i guess this is not as much of an alternative crowd at that time. is it like each, like if you went in and could you get like four tattoos for 13 bucks each or is it like... it's usually always from a sheep.
8:28 and there's usually a line, yeah. you couldn't just be like i'm getting my whole back done today. right. unless you were getting like 40 smiley faces or 40 hearts that said mom. hello. hello. pat, very nice paint job by the way.
8:44 thank you. i've been thinking a lot about how camouflage works. that is something that pat would think about. you are doing that, yeah. just reading one of those cardboard books about chameleons. making notes. interesting. i'm annotating my zoo books, yes? yes. something wrong with that? and on the first day he ate one strawberry.
9:10 on the second day, he ate two oranges. oh, hello. okay, i literally read that to my kid last night. i'm sorry. everybody did equally as well. ricky, you piece of shit. it's war. oh, pat, that's wonderful. yeah, pat. that is really good camouflage. i had to recently, they wanted to give me a poop test. they implied that i had diarrhea, but i didn't.
9:39 she was like you could pour it from this into the thing. i'm like well. there's no pouring i like the idea of a guy finding out for about diarrhea for the first time in medical school. he's like what is oh my god i? like the ice very sick. i keep seeing the post going around that says i hope the diarrhea i have isn't the diarrhea that's on the news i heard about that
10:09 this isn't the advice this isn't like you can't no one can sue me for this advice. yep anytime i've gone to like the hospital or something or any like big medical bill. i just pretend it doesn't exist. i
10:27 and then after a few years, they're like, just please give us anything. and i'm like, yeah, i'll give you 5% of what i owed you. this isn't true what i'm about to say, but that's actually a strategy of right now. that's true. i'm not going to see it. it's like a $4,000 ct scan. i haven't paid that didn't happen, but that's such an interesting hypothetical. i'm still cooking on an mri bill from two years ago. they keep texting me like, oh,
10:55 oh, you might be able to pay less and i'm like great. i'll do that the hospital already did that for me because i also had just the generic hospital bills and they were like well if you get if we give you a discount will you pay us and i was like sure but the ct guys have not done that yet and um you can wait them out for sure. yeah, i'm waiting them out. oh, i'm not done painting at all
11:20 me neither. i'm like, i got nothing going on here. i think i got some good ideas. we love that stuff. great healthcare system we have. i love having choice. okay. i'm also trying to think about how camouflage works, but i am not doing a good job.
11:46 oh this is matt brox! oh my god. ooh it'll be so fun to paint with shinies. i know, i was thinking how fun this would be to paint in. wave mouth, i love it.
11:56 i was just gonna say yours. yeah. great minds think alike, right? yeah. yeah. ooh, this is a tricky one. ricky, that's it's gonna happen at some point. just let it happen. is ricky being mlg ricky? oh! i'm sorry. i'm sorry. ricky's telling me to watch cure from 1997. oh god, it's so good, man. i believe that. arguably one of the best.
12:24 yeah, but have you guys seen minions and monsters? i did just see the minions movie. i'm hearing good things. it actually takes me out that you liked minions, the standalone minions movie. it wasn't bad. i didn't like love it. like i'm not going to sit there and like, like i wouldn't watch it. change your facebook profile picture to be a minion maybe?
12:43 yeah. and for anyone asking why, i was watching hannah's stream and hannah was going to watch hereditary but then everyone was like, yeah, there's nudity in that.
12:55 well, so then she watched minions instead. yeah, well i mean she had the sense of the full frontal parts of minions. i went to breakfast with my friend faith a couple weeks ago and she started describing the plot of the minions movie to me and then she continued describing the plot of the minion movie until she had summarized the entire thing. it took like 20 minutes.
13:20 there are a few points where i was like, should i say, okay, yeah, that's enough. i was like, you know what, no, this is the way i'm gonna see the minions movie. someone do that to you with boss baby. that was me. that was me. that was still on my list. the power move is after the 20 minutes are up, you say, oh, sorry, i missed that. could you go again? definitely looking at ricky, i think i had the wrong strategy on this one.
13:46 oh no. you're trying way too hard. now i feel dumb. i know. it's when you look at ricky's it looks really bad, but when you look at a hunter looking at ricky it looks really good. i am kind of amazed when i zoomed out that it actually looks, and also my gimmick is actually working to my benefit i think from a distance.
14:08 oh yeah, i was like you're gonna get caught you didn't do anything and then i saw it from someone else's eyes and i was like wait he's not there. i like that three of us independently ran to spiderwebs like actual bugs. someone turned on a light and just screamed a web. ricky, very good. i shot a spiderweb just in case but it was the wrong spiderweb. justin, that's very good. how the fuck did apollo get found? that's crazy. that is really good.
14:35 dude, i feel like my idea machine is not working man. that's what i call my brain. the idea machine is not working. apollo pedaling his bicycle with a propeller. how do i rotate my character? oh, so you hold left click to spin your guy. no, that's my camera. i want to spin my guy. hold left click and then move the dna on the
15:05 move your dna. yeah. oh, gattaca. yes, dude. oh, man. do i take showers like you swim in the shower?
15:17 no, i'm scrubbing until there's no more skin left on my body. oh my god. just the opening of that fritz i take showers like ethan hawken sounds like it's the most vexing lp line yeah well, i can remember about that movie is the doctor being like man you got a fine penis, right?
15:41 you got a good take ethan holt. must be nice. it's fine penis. before that scene being like, hey i have some ideas of some stuff to talk about. they should have a game mode where you just, like there's no hunters and everyone just makes a little painting. and everyone goes, oh nice job. oh that was so good. baby mode. yeah, yeah. and then there's one person you look at and everyone goes, all right. all right.
16:13 pig of the round. i don't know about this one. i can't wait to see what you're doing. i don't know about this one. let's get him, charlotte. question, if i paint now, is it going to make brush sound? no, it doesn't make a brush sound. yeah, no sounds. and the little particles don't fly off either.
16:43 alright. yeah, there's no splashing. i feel like that would happen though. like sloshing around. turning my audio up to like 10,000%. it's like i'd hear the little splashes.
16:54 that's really good writing. i don't think it's gonna work, man. you know, probably not, but you know, how do i, can i, how do i g unit you or whatever? how do i thumb you? oh, you gotta wait till the end, unfortunately. you're gonna thumb you real good. oh, charlotte, i love your pig. thank you. are you a percy pig? yes! i'm a percy pig.
17:23 i'm still running wrong. oh shit, i choose the third person. i can't aim. run! how do you change into the first person? right click, save route. dude, the dolphin was there for a second. you were like apex legends slag. it was working, it was working. libby, i love how much time you've put into one part of this hiding place. oh right, yeah. oh well. i think it's good though.
17:57 yeah, pretty good. okay, that's awesome. that's man is that good? um, yeah, i don't get it. i'm sorry. i think he's not trying to blend in. he's trying to. yeah, look natural.
18:17 yeah. yeah, yeah. i'm great at looking natural ever since middle school. that's what people say about me. there's just a shape on it that i don't quite understand. oh, it'll all become clear to you. yeah. there's definitely something around here, charlie. the fucking scales are lifted from your eyes. i think we're all apologizing. someone's too good at it. it's like the story of the guy who works at a factory.
18:44 and they're suspicious that he's stealing stuff so every day at the end of the shift you know he goes out and the security and they kind of they first come and they look and they look in his wheelbarrow and like oh you know it's just an empty wheelbarrow like there's nothing to steal in it and they do this day in and day out and then turns out the end yeah me too he was stealing wheelbarrows
19:13 and that was me. that's a story about me. that's you. so, look for a wheelbarrow. 43 seconds till everyone apologizes to me. very cool. very nice.
19:35 gotta find this fucking wheelbarrow. maybe instead of looking for the thing that doesn't belong, you gotta look for the thing that fits right in. that's not walk her right up to me, all right? let's not give her a kiss. that was... i mean, there's no assists in this game. i can't be blamed for that. do we still have to apologize, or...? yes. it was the worst one i've ever seen. wow.
20:03 just because none of you ever fold a towel, alright? and a beautiful folded towel on top of the laundry. thank you, justin. that's so good. also for the hunters, you can push five now as the hunter to flip through everyone instead of one. oh, awesome.
20:19 yeah, libby yours is everyone like you good. i also thought i would get found immediately. automobile mystery. yeah. the poster was the one that i was saying i think it's it's head and shoulders above the rest.
20:34 yeah, it's a really good one. yeah, no looking. yeah, no looking. is my hunter recognizable as et when et gets really sick? wait, let me take a look.
20:54 i just want to know if you know how long i spent rotating a folded towel in my mind. well, well, well, which one of the boondocks saints do you want to be? all right. you watch cure and i'll watch the boondocks saints. actually, i did watch the boondocks saints. i was thinking about the departed. i've seen the doc saints. how do you
21:15 how do you... is this norman reedus? oh no, i remember. yeah, it looks a lot like norman reedus actually. okay, great. considering how coarse the drawing is, it looks a lot like norman reedus. yeah, i was trying to do, you know, as minimal strokes as possible while still evoking norman.
21:33 i was watching i watched overnight that the documentary about the guy who made that movie completely self destructing and ruining his life and there's such a funny b roll selection because that movie came out like a couple years after boondock saints but it's a scene where billy connelly and norman reedus are talking to each other at the premiere of the film and the slice of b roll they use is billy saying
21:58 oh your son was just born and his name's mingus talk also prominently features a harvey weinstein in a villain role. oh
22:16 the prolificness of fucking streamer rooms in these maps is going to drive me fucking insane. i don't want to be in here. well you're in one all the time, ricky. you set me free!
22:29 ricky you have one of the funniest like visual streamer pranks i've ever seen that wasn't intentional. i don't think but just the fact that the cabinets behind you look like big cabinets, but they're small cabinets that are close to you so when you turn around and you touch the cabinet and you can reach it and it's not on a far wall. it freaks me out so bad really freak out about that i didn't realize that i sort of live in a magic eye puzzle, but am i supposed to be no
22:58 i didn't see you till then.
23:07 there's a lot of paintings i feel pretty fucking stupid i'll tell you ruthless were you trying to be the peanut? now the spots ruined forever, i think actually i wanted to be mr. beans teddy but
23:32 but then i realized you can't add e. i could have added e as with a clone, i guess. it's like, is mr. me and steady a small human man? let it rip! let it rip! what is that? oh, wow. man, they really are misunderstanding. they don't really know how this is really good. i think game lab wants to be in the spotlight.
24:02 so like there's another side to that wall. oh my god. you trying to sell your friend? i'm not shooting you out of respect. i see you but i'm not. thank you. oh, pat, that's so nice. yeah, i was just kind of going, i was making a little beat wearing this hat. you are completely invisible. oh. that's because you're looking at the wrong side.
24:30 i'm loving yours
24:48 it's my first majora's mask playthrough. i'm gonna look at the moon, get scared, and alt f4 and never play again. i'm really fighting the urge to just not have all these characters like, fucking me. i could make that happen. dude, i literally just jumped to try and get the heart piece. oh my fucking god. okay, hold on, hold on. i need to relax. i know, i know this better than i know the back of my own hand. wait, but do we have the bomb chew bowling baddie?
25:16 she really is crazy. and if you do it as a zora, she fancies you. she's like, hello handsome. shape of water. and go off, you know? yeah, yeah, yeah. oh wait, that's just a regular mouth. love it. i'm trying.
25:39 i spent the whole damn map running around looking at stuff too, i'm cooked, i'm afraid. i look awesome if you look at me from an impossible angle that no one will look at me from. i think i learned how to there's just so many insane looking people. interesting, okay writing this down. justin, what the fuck? what? material for the intervention. is it bad?
26:04 it's actually so good. thank you. i'm talking about mine. oh yeah, yours is good. yeah. have we killed anybody yet? no, i can't find anyone. can you imagine if the movie kindergarten cop came out now and then arnold's like, who's your daddy and what does he do? and then some kids just like, my dad's a streamer, he randomizes, uh...
26:34 dude, this is so awesome. i haven't seen anybody else. sorry. yeah. you're never gonna get found. you mean because of this? the smartest spot. you mean because of this? yeah, nobody will ever look. they're not looking for you. no. nice try. thank you. are the nicotine patches at least helping with your i feel normal actually.
27:05 that's great! yeah! he messed up and got nicotine patches instead. you got a hand, actually. i feel great! i feel cool.
27:19 once you get over it. wait ricky did you move and repaint? oh justin that's so good. everyone cannot make jokes approximately every 30 seconds when they all whistle because that's my only hope. i can't find for anybody dude. well that was your last whistle. i just talked to him the last one so. we literally just did the same thing ricky. what was that fact? i need to know about these patches.
27:43 yeah, no, so i asked if they're real because when i was a kid we would move a lot and we'd have gone really long drives and we'd get carsick and my dad would give us what he said were carsick patches and a few years later he told us that they were just cut up band aids. so i thought that meant that they straight up didn't exist. placebo hero, yeah.
28:04 okay, definitely table leg jesus christ just i was working on my living all time and i didn't even get up there can you even get up there? this guy doesn't know about the secret. well, you just hug the walls rupees. oh
28:21 it does feel like insNLy bad to have to take a pill to play a video game but not to lock in and be really really good with something like that but just to actually not feel sick to your stomach when you play. yeah.
28:37 making me rethink my identity.
28:53 like the day after you land to prove that you don't have like, i'm not being glib, but to prove that you don't have like stds that you're bringing into the country. and i had to go with like the school administrator and i was so nervous and i couldn't pee for like 45 minutes. we're just sitting in the lobby like chugging water. he's like maybe you could maybe you could try now. okay, i'll go.
29:16 try now and then i finally got it done. they were like we're just sitting in the lobby and i was like, well, it's probably fucking hard to go in the i wonder if steam is busted because i restarted the game and it's not letting me sign in. can i tell my piss story? yeah it's just that i i was so nervous about being able to pee that i drink so much water beforehand and
29:40 it was so easy to do and then the brand new fear of i'm going to overfill this little jar kicked in. and then having to stop halfway through which is deeply unpleasant. yes, i think i learned how to stop midstream into that day.
29:59 am i the only one who like will has needed to pee and just like been like yeah i'm gonna go pee in the cup and then you're just pissing and you realize the cup is in your hand that's happening? no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
30:14 i will say, like, you know, as a pussy haver, it's quite hard not to get some splash if you're pissing the cup. and it's just like, you know, it's just a bit of piss, isn't it? yeah, it's fine. i was hoping this story was, you drank too much water and then pissed yourself on the way. just like put your jeans up on the desk and you're like, here you go! i'm definitely mallet into the cup, like... yeah, yeah.
30:43 i mean, i feel like there's a, i don't know, like i think of like if you're on a road trip the first time you try to pee in a bottle on a road trip, that's when you learn how much a human pees and that it's more than most. i think i have the ultimate pissing in a bottle on a road trip story, which is when i was like three or four, i was on a road trip with my dad and my grandpa and i was like, i have to pee so and they gave me a bottle
31:07 and then just thinking about like the way that because i was sitting down, i was like, this is how i should do this. so i peed in the bottle and it was upside down and i was like pouring it all over myself.
31:20 because i was like, i can't... obviously as soon as i started peeing i was like, oh right, like gravity. but like for a second i was like... up into the bottle like the way they clean glasses in a bar? like just like... yes!
31:39 the game worked for me when i rebooted it, by the way. i restarted steam and i'm still just signing in dot dot dot. interesting. okay, so for me, when i opened task manager, i exited steam, but you also have to scroll down and exit the process is what i find. i'll give that a shot. yeah, she knows about background processes. she's kind of an it expert. task manager!
32:08 demanding to speak to the task manager. alright, there's no steam to be found in those tasks. the windows karen. now i'm picturing like the control shift escape menu but with like the kate gosselin haircut on top of it like a shitty rage comic or something like that.
32:29 yeah, may i speak to the task managers for you? yeah, exactly. i'm going on facebook. the mouse has long acrylic nails and they tap a lot.
32:41 i'll tell you guys something vulnerable. as a nicotine addicted person, they only have like the crazy vapes now. so every time i hit this vape, a rocket blasts off on the side of it and it makes me feel like a robber. it's like the government program that puts the huge labels on cigarettes that say these will give you cancer. that's the vape strategy. it's like, yeah, you can get it, but you're going to look insane.
33:07 they're smoking an ipad on the subway. let's see. yeah. what can i be? i'm still trying to decide what to be. yeah, i'm just trying to think of items under pressure. very difficult. it's not easy. this sucks.
33:31 what does yoda wear? oh, we can't look at each other's armor. when you get killed you become a hunter. oh, sorry mate. so i see. look, i worked on my art and you guys aren't even going to get to experience it. i'm damaged. do we get to see it all at the end? well, at the end we could all see it, yeah. okay. no, but like i'm the hunter, so yeah, i guess. that's it for me, huh? not a big fan of this movie. only the best disguised for me.
34:02 okay, we're looking for a folded towel, guys. a wheelbarrow somewhere. oh my god, i don't know if you can see that.
34:19 five and then you left and right mouse click through and you can toggle through everyone's hiding spots. i just got a tool tip that said acting natural might make you harder to find. sounds like just walking around the map like you live there.
34:37 i still believe in my heart that being quiet on the call will make me harder to find. yeah, no, i absolutely don't give away any damn information. it does feel like that. and i do feel like that makes this game imminently more streamable. the fact that being quiet is a sort of subconscious thing. well, and also, like when we're painting, we all lock it. yes, exactly. you guys are locking in.
35:00 i'm doing folded towels, what the fuck? see you're a natural, we have to work like ten times as hard. with just one curved line you evoked the spirit of a folded towel. it's called impressionism, you can look it up, alright?
35:17 lizzie you minion i'm working on it in honor of the movie, you know, because they're so small are they all wearing like shorter shorter rolls or overall? i believe they're wearing full overalls. i don't believe i've ever seen higher on a minion than their ankle despite your efforts, yeah i was sitting right in the front of the theater too just in case
35:45 guy trying to upskirt somebody in a movie is gonna rage on me.
35:53 minion upskirt is a very strong pitch for a username also. really sorry for raining on this parade, but isn't there an official marketing image of one of the minions in a thong bikini? is that available? ruining my immersion of them being honest. yes, there is. i'm looking at it right now. there is a minion in thong and he's got a huge ass. i've pulled it up right now. dude, they knew what they were doing with this. this minion has a great ass.
36:20 one of the images that like to my death i'll be like top three things i wish i'd never seen. have you seen the green m&m with like anatomically correct? this is not an official.
36:35 pretty awful. i'll try to find it. i'm not even going to post in the discord because i don't know everybody in there. you're just going to find it for everyone. just for yourself. this game's obsession with how buried i am needs to fucking stop. i know. i was getting fired from the cemetery. you guys' obsession with how buried everybody is? that's stupid.
36:54 i used to live with a cemetery right over the back fence of my house and the yard was very tiny. it was only like a 10 foot yard, but it would be really jarring to like wake up and look out the window longer than usual. yeah. you just, sorry. go ahead. no, i'm sorry. cause a yard is three feet. i got it. oh, oh, i don't have space. don't tell me that i need space.
37:24 okay, elon. i was going like, male astronaut, it didn't make any ryan, yes. over committed. he's like gold member for space. i love space. yes. gold member for space would be south african too. that's true. oh, eli.
37:51 the guy who just uses gold number is somebody who loves anything. i'm like, gold number for you. yeah, i'm just doing my little painting as if i don't... oh, mouth. that's great. ...all the time anyway. i wonder if i have time to add something cute. it was too ambitious. honestly, if you see me, maybe just let me paint. like, just out of kindness. just like, let me have fun for a little while. oh no.
38:28 everyone hold your gab as they're approached. no. are you the green m&m right under here? anatomically correct.
38:40 i genuinely could remember. does she have boobs? i'm probably not, right? i hate that way. well, in the image i'm referring to, yes, she does. my brain went to eminem with a labia. i don't know why that's what... i don't know why that's her. is she like, you know. feminim, eminem. feminim, eminem. feminim. oh my god. we need a fam, eminem. i need to see a fam, eminem.
39:08 and an omenon but femininiminem? that is also a fucking eminem line. he'd be, i'm the femininiminem, right? lin manuel miranda? yeah. no! have eminem and lin manuel miranda ever collabed? they should battle. they should do a rap battle, holy shit.
39:34 okay, but you know, eminem would just win when he went and he's orange. yeah. remember? i know. i think it was the worst of things that i was like, holy shit. i can't believe it. i'm trying to find this green eminem photo, and i can't find it. which makes me even more worried for the friend who sent it to me. dream was the minecraft youtuber or like the thing you have when you sleep.
40:05 i didn't hear anyone even say that word. no. oh shit. i'm dying. take one of the patches off right now. he's experiencing a lethal dose of bergamot extract. a voice to dream. safe to dream.
40:33 i posted it. oh my god. that is really bad. holy shit.
40:45 damn, i should have drawn that one. oh, my god. no, no, i cannot show this. i definitely can't show this. candy coating. yeah. candy coating really holds those things back. yeah.
41:08 thank you. oh, thank you. thank you. what a wonderful small shared experience we all have. we're going to meet up in a cabin 20 years from now and talk about that image. it's like one of those movies where we all get invited to a party by a mysterious billionaire and then we slowly unravel the common thread that unites us all. yes. yes. kind of reminds me of a picture i saw one time.
41:34 i just tried to play the m&m's with the meat, but the meat is like the most carefully rendered thing in this entire game. like, it's the highest quality. yeah, it's really difficult. it is so detailed. oh, mal. good job. am i supposed to see this m&m image? look at liz. oh, you were too good. i fucking missed it. liz with the wheat.
41:57 yeah, crazy. at the risk of talking about this rule 34 post two streams in a row considering that we just do it on saturday as well. i mean, we are talking about nude fictional characters. i can't stop thinking about i spend a lot of time on rule 34 for my job as a streamer. as we as we all know, your job is a moderator.
42:20 i paid $120,000 a year. i can't remember why i was looking up daffy duck on rule 34, just because i thought it would be fun and funny. but i did find an image that has haunted me until this day of it is it was daffy duck sort of just on like on a forest lane.
42:40 and he was like slightly yassified, but like mostly the same that he already is. and then he's facing away from the camera and looking back at it and he just had a, it was an ai image and it put a human asshole on this cartoon image of daffy duck.
42:59 and i love the fact that you can so clearly tell that somebody just prompted claude or mid journey to just for like sexy daffy with asshole and claude was like alright man whatever.
43:16 when you send him the nude and he hits you with the thufferin' fucker tag. his beak goes around backwards. watching your local lake drop an inch while it generates a daffy duck's asshole.
43:32 i'm trying to find a place to go still. i'm multitasking. i'm trying to decipher talk texts from my mother at the moment. justin, did i ever tell you that once my mom was staying at an airbnb in vancouver soon after we had our child and she meant to text
43:50 i'm safe inside, but instead she texted man inside. oh no. and then went to bed.
44:03 oh my god. he just stopped responding. parents love to fire off a text and immediately go to bed. they love to just text and go straight to bed. yeah nothing makes parents more tired than sending a psychotic text message.
44:23 i got a like an all time mom text yesterday which is don't go in the it's like when it was hot in new york like she goes don't go in the misters they're giving everyone legionnaires disease
44:36 i had a coworker story where she was texting like ryan's mom to our manager. however, it wasn't like a misclick. like she in the text said she was, it was all like hiding in a closet.
44:53 oh no. person inside call cops and my boss just like ignored it. i mean he's very busy. she just showed up at work the next day like rapping what's wrong.
45:07 it was really weird. was she like trying to get out of work? kind of vibes people were... that's my first instinct when i'm trying to get out of work is to claim i'm being home invaded. oh, i see. oh, i see. yes, justin. yes. also ricky. yes. thank you. thank you. i mean...
45:34 okay, okay. yeah, i see you find your party's happened ryan this is honestly amazing. it's not too bad right but libby the anatomy of the comparison in anatomy of ours is so compelling oh my god yes, love same
45:58 what's up, pat? you like what you see, big boy? okay, okay. charlotte, you've just gotten out of a full body cupping session, just all over. you're mr. poppy! no, i tried to be the burnt peanut. i thought i got that face down at least. yeah, the face is good actually. oh, i thought you were mr. poppy. wait, is the burnt peanut the annoying orange? because they look like... yeah, they're like, spiritually car moder y. yes, exactly.
46:27 i feel for this positioning effort right now. i really like the way you're asking that. oh, is ryan still working on it? there's one pose that just, like, touching one button makes it just, like, spin like a top and you just... it drives me insane. you don't have to do this. that's really good, though. i gave you a kiss before i... thank you for the kiss. yes, ryan. it looks like you surprised a snake and they're looking up at you. i think that's... i think that's it right there.
46:59 you've mastered it. damn, that's pretty good. i'm still thinking about libby saying chrissy have a
47:05 i'm sorry, i forgot. i cannot tell you how much fear that instills in me when someone has a discord introduction. the scariest thing in my entire life. demi, yours only comes through my left earphone, which really makes me... yeah, that one only came through my left too, which was really funny. i thought it was in the game for a second. me too. how's this for a bit? pornstar that only does it with democrats?
47:34 i only came in the left. okay. okay. okay. yeah. yeah. yeah. sorry. what i feel like is bad about my spots is when people find other people that go, oh, and then they shoot and mine is just always a silent, like joyless execution.
47:56 every time i look at ryan he's readjusted into a different not quite correct position, but he's still alive. perfect is the enemy of good man. oh, ryan's adjusting the entire time. alright, that's funny. the fake light. it wasn't meant to be funny, but thank you. that's funny.
48:19 it was meant to be unnerving. it's a bit of a psychological thriller type thing. it's kind of meant to evoke like a sense of familiarity, but also a fear of the unknown simultaneously. if you haven't seen the opposite of the green m&m photo, one of the greatest photos, have you seen the photo of that mascot who injured himself and they're stretching him off in costume? and it's just a frog on a stretcher that looks like he's dead. i haven't seen that one either.
48:48 one of the best mascot things ever is the footage of the toronto raptor falling on rollerblades. oh yeah. the gif. it's so fucking funny because he's falling for so long. it's the inflatable oh yeah. yeah, when you're starting to fall and trying to stop for so long.
49:08 okay, the frog picture is really good. yeah, and the other mascots are all concerned so they're standing around him. yeah, it's in the general channel. what's in the general icon? the drama. like a renaissance painting. wait, there's multiple angles of this? oh my god. it does sort of look like this is what pokemon would really be like if it happened.
49:35 you got the pikachu carrying away the pidgey. yeah, the real pokemon just going up against some mewtwo and just watching your pokemon levitate and then be like folded into itself. like that lady from old, like all the bone snapping. what happened to the frog? he tried to catch a fly ball.
49:56 oh, jesus christ. thank you, folks. twitch.tv slash pizza underscore streaming up to 40 minutes each week. just getting the most toxic viewership that's like more fly ball stuff. why don't we play? anyone do pokemon go fest worldwide this weekend? no.
50:25 yeah, me either. that's still going on? yeah, apparently. i guess if you're still playing, you're so pot committed to the ecosystem at this point that you don't really care that all of your data has officially been sold to fucking palantir. yeah. i made a clone account on palantir.com and gave them all the information. yeah, skip the middleman. i got a foam wallpaper.
50:52 yeah, yeah, yeah, except all cookies. i want to see the ranking of american secretary of states. what, do you have to be near the clones to kill them? oh no. guys, you would love gemini, man.
51:06 gamer coming out of gemini man being like, you know what, i think that's my favorite movie because it has the highest frame rate. guys, i just thought of a really bad bit that i have to get out of my head or it's going to infect me. that's bane trying to stay up late when his parents are looking. they expect one of us to sleep in the bed, brother.
51:34 i used to have a thing on my channel called mr. bane mode
51:41 where it was rowan atkinson in the mask. oh, that's so good! i like that. and that's kind of how you say mr. bean as well, because of where you're from. mr. byee! mr. byee! and i would just, it would literally just be like, i was born with a turkey on my head! it's the shit like that, isn't it? wait, how are you not gonna go, what happens if you take off the turkey? it would be very painful. for you!
52:08 ricky, please know this is a very normal one about to say, but god you look delicious. dang. too bad. i drew a really hungry guy. jim davis inventing garfield. proudly opening the door to his office and announcing it.
52:35 that's why it's really unidentifiable. okay, this is really good, but you gotta go. oh, charlotte. thank you, thank you. but you know a guy like this always looks for the otoro first. exactly. i didn't know your hungry ass was hunting or else i would have been something different. i'm taking the tool tips advice because i couldn't find it. okay. this is very nice. okay, charlotte. it's a grave. ryan, i think you should come look at charlotte. she's in the bathroom. someone's just walking around.
53:03 i'm acting natural! i don't know, i have my chair! waiter, waiter, my rice? i need to make sure everyone's as empty as they possibly can so i can tell them good girl. awwww, well...
53:21 it's really good. didn't hesitate. that's a masterful gambit. yeah. you weren't thirsty enough. that's really good. yeah, he was hungry but he wasn't thirsty. oh, that's because i also drew a guy who only drinks water. oh, yeah. he didn't grow up. now i feel really attacked.
53:46 sorry. you drink tea probably. oh my god, you were here the whole time. the whole time. that's really good, justin. oh, wow. that was fish. the deep v neck is compelling, man. i haven't really thought about those since like 2011.
54:01 you know, for the people who know what i look like this will track as someone who works security in an urban outfit you had an immediate fight or flight response to the presence of a v neck do you know how many sriracha shirts i folded in my life? that's fucking brutal
54:22 the best was like, you have no, there is no back room, but people are just like, they're dead set that you have more in the back. so you just stop arguing with them and you go stand in the bathroom and come back out and go, nah, we're out. sorry.
54:33 i looked at the pizza place in high school and there was a woman who would call and order pizzas and when i would answer the phone she would say, no, i need to speak to a man. she wouldn't talk. oh, damn. well, i hope she's dead. a random story about the pizza place was it was a late night pizza place and it was owned by like, it was like a ghost kitchen before ghost kitchens.
55:01 like it was a different restaurant, but we would move in when they closed and sell pizzas under a different name. it was run by a bunch of band guys and they were like, hey man, if like if any of our friends come through, like specifically they named like if daryl from glassdriver comes in, like you can just hook them up or like, you know. and like my second night working, daryl came in with like 30 people and they were all expecting free pizza. and i... that's a test, man. i fucking panicked, man.
55:28 i did not give them all free pizza. yeah, your manager was like, yeah, daryl, he wears a big purple hat and he's got yellow shoes. and i got, it's like your manager with a mustache and a purple hat and yellow shoes comes in and is like, i'm daryl. i'd like free pizza. that was a fun job though. we would, uh, we were supposed to be open till 4 am, but at about 1 am the guy making the pizzas would turn to me and go,
55:49 you want to watch ninja turtles and smoke weed? yeah. we would just lock the door and watch ninja turtles. that guy just fucking loves pizza. all pizza themed meat. this has nothing to do with what we were just talking about, but i thought i ordered hot dogs. what the hell did you order? these are spicy chicken sandwiches and hot dog buns for some reason. like right now?
56:17 yeah, right now. what was it labeled? i wish it had like a really good rating score. so i was like, this looks good. i go for a hot dog. so i just ordered like the most popular two hot dogs and some french fries. it's my spicy chicken sandwiches, man. as you're spicy, too. it's really good, though. i mean, it had high rating. great idea. no.
56:42 you got justin i got got i know my medieval weaponry expert i'm so looking for a whole lot. i know i can tacos today now i get it and i like it. oh yes, yes marvelous marvelous. oh
57:10 all of us having a wonderful time. i've seen someone hide there before and the whistle was just like target. yeah, that was before i was me 90 seconds of watching apollo literally echo locate me by standing in triangulate my position. yeah. you ever realize how much everyone hates the fucking hunters? like i want nothing but me. yeah. yeah. every single time. jesus christ.
57:38 they put a lot of effort into hiding spots. okay. i don't want you to ruin it.
57:42 oh my god. if they don't find everybody, they should be executed afterwards. wow, justin. i really love yours. i was like the first one got, too. huh? nice try, libby. i'm a sword. i'm the master sword. i'm the master sword. somebody come pick me up from this frogamuff. bring me your phone.
58:10 there's my friend dave and allie of this bit that's gotten me every time we're just out of nowhere. one of them goes, the vodak killer. nice.
58:28 i've got an idea and it never works but i'm still gonna try it. something about justin pulling his legs over his head and making a sucking face. what if you got your dick in your mouth but you found out you just suck at sucking dick? what if it turns out the part that you thought was hard was actually easy and then like the rest of it was hard?
58:52 i have to tell you that is a lot of the experience of r slash auto felations. really? a lot of them are like, when does it start feeling like you're getting your dick sucked and you're not just sucking your dick? and a lot of the replies are, hey, if that's how you feel, you got to leave the game. you got into this for the wrong reason. exactly. you need to want to suck your dick. you don't. it's not a cheat code.
59:21 i don't want to suck my dick. it's so funny to think of like people in human history but way before modernity suffering like the same
59:38 but now problems that we have like like a knight getting ready to ride into battle, but he has like athlete's foot or like yeah, yeah his whole life undiagnosed like wheat allergy or something like that.
59:51 this is rough, but i thought you were about to say like a knight about to ride into elmer, but he really wants to suck his own dick and he doesn't have aocky straps. what are aocky straps? what the fuck are aocky straps? octopus straps, you know them? you got shit. and i've definitely tried to suck my own dick, so i don't know what you're talking about. with or without the ackies? yeah, like a bungee cord and they've got the hooks on the end. yeah, yeah, yeah. okay. that's a bungee cord. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:00:20 wait, you're so much better. that is how armor looks. that's what a helmet looks like. i should have told you, i'm sorry. liz is gatekeeping important information. there's a bit of a story behind mine. really, really good. really, really good.
1:00:41 now look at the left. if you look at the right leg, you'll wonder why isn't the child in the pool and it's because he has active diarrhea, which if you look at the right leg... within the last 14 days, yeah. just kill me. thank you. ricky does not want the compliments. just the worst pain in chameleon, like holding the gun barrel to his forehead. do it! just do it! there's only so much that the compliments down the barrel of a gun really hit.
1:01:11 damn it. it was good. that's really, really good. well, my field of view is really constricted in this helmet. from your helmet? yeah, from my helmet. yeah, yeah. yeah, i can't reach it actually. also because of your rampant vertigo that you're currently experiencing. dude, i'm on a wave right now. i feel awesome. nice. i'm like the guys from another round, but i was born with like my blood concentration of gravol, one gravol too low. it might actually be nicotine patches.
1:01:39 you might be addicted to nicotine. my heart rate is 134 right now, so. and knowing you, that's way too high. that's really high. i hit 34 in my sleep last night.
1:01:50 34?! i think my watch is broken though. i forgot to mention that. rip it out of the tank like wolverine just covered in nicotine patches of water. they're ripping them off. there are a lot of people still left. would this possibly be amazing?
1:02:19 that's all for me. i'll give you a hint for where i am. i'll be honest, apollo, it really seemed like he was talking about you. yeah, i know, but now he's gonna go right back to where he was, which isn't great. i'm gonna give you a great spear. when you find me or see where i am, you'll say, that's ribbiting. oh, okay. yes.
1:02:46 could be anything. this is a crazy meta of mine. okay, well... i would classify the most dumb to...
1:03:05 sneaky, i tried to look there earlier, i swear. really, really good work, libby and charlotte. thank you. yeah, thank you. no. no. who are they? libby and charlotte. no, i'm not my things, actually. wow.
1:03:22 libby that's really good. oh my god. thank you. i spent so much time in this little atrium too. yeah. my guy really did be looking like squidward. dude, that's really good. it is really good. can i say something about your turtle, justin? yeah.
1:03:49 it's got us pussy out. um, that might be weird. let's take a look. i need to look. i need to look right now. everyone hurry to just... oh yeah. i can see that. yeah, i see it. yeah.
1:04:02 ryan, i got a question for you. how frequently do you think you can clock somebody trying to be a new, trying to kickstart a new bit chatter? cause i just saw somebody in your chat earlier named stool messiah saying all of you will poop soon. and i've never seen that guy before. and just like, is it every stream somebody's trying something new or is it like week by week? northernlion harem.
1:04:29 yeah, we now we now have a northernlion harem to guy as well. we're not real guys to okay, and is he? yes, that's that's what he says and okay, that's actually it was interesting to me sequel what i what i cannot clock is how the other chatters will feel about it and
1:04:51 until i actually see it because sometimes they're things that i think are stupid they go. that's the funniest thing i've ever seen yes things that i think are hilarious harold. they're like actually like can you ban this guy like this guy's pissing me off
1:05:07 dude yet. he's been in my chat for months now and obviously pissing everybody off constantly when you were on vacation librarian dropped the the known the known chatter entity color the mix and yeti had like an hour and 40 minutes and everybody in my chat was like wait yet. he's the gay bob dylan chatter
1:05:32 i have a i feel blooded yeti is so nice and normal in my chat. it's great. yeti's great. i'm all in on yeti man. my chat is just very normal and says normal thing. did you guys know that in my chat yeti has been labeled by twitch headquarters as like uh i don't like an extra dimensional chatter like they exist in the extra chatular space where
1:05:57 they're a suspicious user, so nobody in chat can see their messages except for mods and me. so they actually... they've shitposted themselves to like a private line that only the streamer can see. i had to find that out on my own because i could see them in your chat and no one would respond to them ever.
1:06:21 and they would be like, hey, what are you eating today? and then nothing just like totally like just dead and it's like oh are they like globally muted? bro, he did the dream man. he posted his way into the vip club. he posted through the fucking veil into the ethereal realm. it's kind of awesome. then earlier today everyone was going like yay yeti! so i thought maybe like he cleared the zone or whatever but now he's like he's highlighted again.
1:06:49 he's aka you shouldn't be able to see his messages. do you think there's someone at twitch who's doing this like manually? well, just like switching back and forth depending on what the messages are. someone at twitch harboring an individual. is there someone at twitch? well, yeah.
1:07:11 it's probably fine. it does scare me that i used to have like a person i could contact if things were wrong and now i get to talk to chat gpt. yeah, there is on the on the the sponsorship portal. they're like, yeah, if anything goes wrong, just contact your twitch contact. and it's like, oh, my what? my what?
1:07:32 i still love the last guy i had, our last interaction was me being at twitchcon and luzu was like, hey, why aren't you in like the partner area? and i was like, oh, i didn't know there was one at this partner. like it was the big twitch party at the stadium or whatever. and so i messaged my partner manager who i could see through the window in there and i'm like, hey, man, like, could i get into like the partner area? and i see him pick up his phone and send to me. there's no partner area.
1:07:57 oh, come on. justin, that's like a peep show bit. that's crazy. it was really good. and then luzu took his bracelet off for me to wear and then i went in and the guy just averted all eye contact with me. and then when i got home, he was no longer my partner manager.
1:08:14 eli, i gotta say this is i think your most inspired work yet. and i'm yeah. okay, well, i don't know if that's means it's good or bad, but it's good. all right. all right. all right. all right. let's see how at this point. this is one of my men go to therapy. i do all that.
1:08:35 literally in two dimensions mine is insane like i don't feel like you got it to look like it's going that's crazy i've finally found ways to do that is crazy. yeah, i didn't even think about that right, and i think you should like look at you from it that's what i'm doing. i'm fixing it, okay ryan i think you just get your your lines and
1:09:02 they're a little thick. horizontal you're in. fixin' it. no! i'm not sure if that's what you think that is. oh my bad. oh no. yeah, sorry. i really liked the files, yeah. yeah, that was good.
1:09:21 very nice. thank you, thank you. i really can't hold jesus, man. give it a second, okay? just delivering guns. please, please. he's been through enough of that.
1:09:41 you were drawing more and more and i just looked more and more like a guy with boots and a sweater on. stuck on a wall. are you corn by the way? demi do you have a gun? yeah i'm a sexy cop. oh you're a cop! i thought you were like a synchronized swimmer from a 1940s movie.
1:10:04 or whatever annette bening's name was in that swimming movie. it would be so sick to combine synchronized swimming with a gunkata. that's my opinion. my mind is... like sticking your leg out of the pool with a gun in your foot. firing off a couple shots into the indoor pool ceiling. what's the one movie, death wish or whatever, that her leg is a gun? yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah
1:10:33 and it's also like a mentoring candidate thing. there's some visiting dignitary watching the synchronized swimming and a foot with a gun emerges. i'm just assassinated. man, that's fucking good, man. there's somebody in here. jesus christ, y'all. and i'm really kinda crazy that they looked right at you and went, no, that's a part of the map. i can't shoot. yeah, dude. and he looked back, man. fuck, i got it. where? where?
1:11:01 justin is right up here. oh my god.
1:11:15 my face when i'm files and i want to help you. oh, it's scary when you do that. thank you. too scary. trying all new viral all caps art gallery. wow, that's good.
1:11:36 fuck, i think i'm drawing you on accident right now. yeah, that's just me, but like... that's just you. but also i'm like in anomalisa or something like that, like i look very unfulfilled. yo, wait, that means you're fucking, dude. nice. ah, shit.
1:11:50 charlie kaufman's oc stand in character. his ass would have a marionette oc. okay, people went crazy on this one. this is the painting that has the paint. oh my fucking jesus christ, ricky. oh my!
1:12:10 oh my god. oh. charlotte literally invisible. couple of points, okay. liz literally invisible. really? is this like a one in 100 chance, ricky, that they don't see you on the first pass? we'll see. good fucking luck fucking me. oh my god. okay.
1:12:32 i can tell you the story. that's really good. you know, there's a story about this guy that they thought was stealing. there's his wheelbarrows, actually. demi, i don't know if this is accurate, but this is... i feel like you look like an imaginary friend. the life you must have had to know that. oh, yeah. i had a few. i mean, you grow up
1:13:01 divorce parents and no siblings. you gotta you gotta invent somebody to hang out. oh, yeah no family bloggers on on youtube kids these days slay your kid find some christ focused family vloggers
1:13:20 is that whistle in here or is it in the other room? dude, i'm freaking out. i've been looking at the same paintings for like there's no whistle anywhere. i mean ryan's looking like right at you. he doesn't see you. it's crazy. what? sorry, am i like oh! for a second, the cowboy appeared and i was like, i didn't see the cowboy. y'all didn't see me? okay, that's really good. y'all come back now, you hear?
1:13:46 that's really good. i gotta see. ricky, that's great. ooh, that's really good. it really good. that's crazy. he's not even a painting. bird. bird. oh, bird. oh, bird. crazy, crazy ergonomic sword. me every day. liz, a couple of months ago, i got on the wikipedia page for feathers and boy, that is, that's a wikipedia page. what the fuck are those things? yeah, those are crazy as fuck, dude. same here.
1:14:17 yes it's got a song like from the game what you want to be or statements i guess they make smoke gonna be a shape thing i feel like you can't be honest. i know i'm gonna be a get away with it dude if we run really fast we can probably get to the valley of the drakes. oh
1:14:48 four minutes, we can get to valley of the drakes easy. pickle pay, it's me, pickle pay. it's me, pumperum. you know, pumperum, pumperum, pumperum. this map is fucking huge. yeah, i have not played it yet. all of firelink shrine. i didn't hunt all day, so. so much texture. oh, pat, yours is so smart.
1:15:23 the spiders have assholes? yeah, the silk comes out. yeah. oh, do they? silk come out of there. ricky, as i was looking at you, you erased what you were doing, but i really liked it. malf, that's really good too. it's a great fit, justin. wow, malf, that is really good. holy. oh, thank you. i think it's not, but...
1:15:50 they should have a bloodborne map so i can like understand and enjoy it. yeah. i should be the better character. come on. apollo, that's really good. that's really good. that's apollo, aren't you? well, you guys are such a good company here.
1:16:11 this is great. oh no! this is just a nice little trip. you can't kill the quest, my warrior! these stairs just keep going. nice armor, justin. good outfit. thank you, thank you. wow. that's really good. good work, everybody. mm hmm. it sounds like... follow every time i come to you. funny looking.
1:16:38 you gotta get the four lord souls and put them in the cup. this map's so dark. souls. souls. where the fuck are you? you're gonna need the ring of artorias to find that one.
1:17:15 okay, does this guy have a name with jar jar binks, but never dentist? that's king seeker frampt. apollo, this is just mean. why? apollo, come on! you gotta stop bullying this guy! it's really funny. i hate this.
1:17:48 are you just like in the darkness? that's the abyss bro. careful gazing into that. are you just like moving around in this? gotta be.
1:18:12 i saw you! ohhh! yeah! ohhhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh! ohhh
1:18:42 someone's in this damn bird. no. how do i get on bird? oh?
1:19:01 was that you found me? it says you found me, yeah. right. yeah. the map was so big, i thought, i'll just hide. and if you find me, congrats. yeah, yeah, that's fair. yeah, i felt the same. good gaming, y'all. great gaming. yeah, great gaming. great gaming. great gaming. one game. this is a damn good ass game, man. it is so fun. it is a good ass game. very fun. later. bye, y'all. bye. bye. goodbye.
1:19:29 i gotta let you know we're for shantin right now. i don't think this is gonna be a good hand. you know what the fuck i'm fucking talking about right now? oh my god, bro. what? my tummy hurts. i think i drank too much watermelon juice. wait, you understood? yeah, they understood! they understood, man. we're freaking getting there.
1:19:59 tone's actually getting pretty good. first time has ever been said and i'm gonna choose to believe it. i'm not gonna deal in. by the way, scores have been reset so i can't rely on my goated score last week. i'm sorry to say, literally obviously safe because it's what i just discarded. what the fuck? what the fuck, man? what a disaster. ah, it's not so bad. who gave the white dragon? how do you get your points back? i gotta win some hands.
1:20:34 which is easier said than done when you're in a lobby full of mahjong beasts like this. especially when...
1:21:07 dude, yeah, you're getting there. i mean, why are you in hell? my head hurts. i think i drank too much banana juice. call the police. like these are perfectly normal sentences, bro. learn more fruits so you can say how much your tummy hurts. i was thinking i get really into antiques. which i honestly think is a bargain if you look at the fucking exchange rate.
1:21:42 too expensive? it's too expensive for a a ching dai da hua ping? cheap ass. i am taking myself out of exhaustive draw, because i don't want to deal into a devastating... ron type situation. saved. oooh asta under the river! a hite ryu tsumodora with a rakadora attached? motherfucker, man.
1:22:19 something crazy is happening in the tournament because my wife is like screaming upstairs or maybe maybe there's man inside and then she's gonna send the text and go to sleep. i don't know. there must be something going on. oh my god. thirteen orphans! oh my god! oh my god! what? oh my god! it's a 48,000. oh my god! what?
1:23:02 she's watching the world cup. she's going, why didn't that norwegian guy? why didn't that norwegian guy pass to the other norwegian guy? oh, said hi hi. dude who didn't pass is a loser? i think they, i mean not to radicalize anybody, i think it's a high pressure situation with a lot of variables. damn!
1:23:26 i think the world cup's been pretty good. as long as you can separate yourself from the online discourse where whenever the underdog doesn't win, it's because the game is rigged. every result being rigged when the team that is favored to win wins, it leaves a little sour taste in your mouth. but i also love people rooting against england because they have a problematic history. i was like, bro, you were all in on team usa less than a week ago. what the hell happened?
1:23:54 you weren't applying those same standards to yourself like last week. no, i wasn't. that's what i'm saying, man. that's the type of shit that i'm saying. who are you rooting for? i think i'm rooting for england because i've been to england. also, the discord hated me because someone in the discord, and their name is zach if they're watching, they put money. oh, we got a con and see if we can get the win after the con.
1:24:21 they put money on norway winning because betting on the underdogs is more fun than betting on the favorites. and then after jude bellingham scored that first goal and then they showed him going into the locker room. usually when people with the world cup go into the locker room, they go like this. they're walking like that. i'm gonna just let me pass here for a second. it's my turn. you take a chance on me.
1:24:47 and they're going, they're squirting like a water bottle into their mouth and walking. the dude locked in and sprinted to the locker room. and immediately i went to the discord and i said, england is not losing this game. jude bellingham has the lebron face on right now. he was like locked the fuck in. he was like, get me to the locker room so that i can get out faster and score more goals. and they said, having aura doesn't mean you're gonna win. having aura doesn't mean you're gonna win, be good at soccer.
1:25:16 yeah, well, bro came out after the half and scored some fucking goes, mate. oh! sumo city, bullshit. at least i'm not the dealer. holy fuck, bro. they put me at a table with some damn shooters. bring back the squad from last week, man. last week we were playing with some people who were, they were getting all simples. i felt like that was my table.
1:25:51 this isn't disc golf anymore you need a higher score to win. oh i bought some discs. i bought some discs. i was so excited to find out that there were three disc golf courses in vancouver and then to find out that two of them are so shitty that the median review is don't even bother playing them and then the other one the reviews are like the course is good but make sure you show up at
1:26:19 5.06 in the morning or you will not be able to play because it will be too busy. i like sports that have like no barrier to entry man. that is cool.
1:26:30 it also doesn't corrupt the spirit like golf. i did spend a little bit of time on the disc golf subreddit just to see what i was getting myself into and seeing that it seems to be one of the few pastimes that hasn't been like buttfucked by commodification. like they were having earnest debates over whether like, is it okay if i don't want to put a dollar into the kitty for when someone gets an ace? and i was like, damn, this might be like the last bastion, man.
1:26:56 you gotta do, i don't think you have to, but most people just said, chill bro, do whatever you want. you ever think about how sus it is that the same people keep getting reachy? it's a little sus man. well this is dangerous, not worth, not worth at all. and they're, no they're not the deal, i'm the dealer, that's even worse. you need to go big here. you don't understand how the elimination works. i just have to hope that there's, i think maybe like eight motherfuckers more unfortunate than myself.
1:27:29 in the whole tournament across all of the myriad tables that still remain. and if that's the case, i can squeak in to the score reset. maybe. i'm one shanten. it would be nice if i had a little bit more time to shape the hand a little bit. why do you guys... why are you saying lion cheesing sucks? it's actually literally awesome.
1:27:52 we hate lion cheesing? no, you don't bro. lion cheesing is that's whenever i look at the camera you gotta post lion cheesing. don't do bomba like that. bomba has been trying to get lion cheesing into the end of the i was gonna say the server but into the game for a long time. does this help us? sure man, why not? i don't know. baby, baby, baby. baby, baby, baby.
1:28:21 oh, baby, baby, baby, baby. no! you cheated and gave them the draw! that's evil. okay, well, we gotta wait for the south games to end. oops. oh, shit. okay, 59 meters. 59 meters, a little bit uphill. i mean, if you could split the difference between these trees, this would literally go in the fucking hole, bro.
1:29:00 and then just sit her down right there. oh, that was pretty good. now look at this. it sails around that tree. it sails around this tree and gets stopped by the smallest tree of all. check out this grease ball, man. i do think it needs just a little bit of added support right there. and then it cuts behind the tree and it lands. oh, it's supposed to cut way more than that. the tree reached out and grabbed us.
1:29:47 it was a tough ass daily challenge today, man. you gotta be trolling. it was such a good shot too. i guess they don't give you a green line if you're, if you are still on an easy course so you have the full line set up. that would make sense. i could accept. ace me, ace me. oh baby. one day browsing r slash disc golf. you're already calling it an ace. bro, that's, we don't, we don't call them holes in one in disc golf. okay. we bro, we don't call it a frisbee.
1:30:24 that's exactly that's from ball golf. let me switch sides on this and we're just gonna drop it so pleasantly right there. that's ace potential. who's got the sharpie? you don't wanna know what happened to the last guy who called it a frisbee. let's just leave it at that. don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to. okay, simply orange fucking orange tree in my path whatever. i'm literally trying to disc golf here but go nuts.
1:31:02 course is so badly fucking pruned. i'm about to give it a two star on you disk. and then look at this, just a little breeze. did you go out and play? nah, sorry to say not yet. i was putting in heavy hours at the dad factory this weekend. i was hoping my kid would at least want to throw the frisbee around with me but she was not really fucking with it cuz like i threw it to her and it was a good throw. and then she dropped it and then she was like, i don't think i like
1:31:35 throwing the disc. i was like, well, can you just drop that one time? like, don't get too serious about it. it wasn't from 300 meters away. it's very difficult for me to get some time on my own to go to the park and throw the disc around. not impossible, but somewhat difficult. so i was hoping i'd be able to maybe like pair some of my
1:31:59 my family responsibilities with my responsibility to also like treat myself as an individual and have some hobbies in my own life. but it's going to take a little bit more work than i thought, unfortunately. yeah, i read the message asking me if i've seen the florida bright line crash compilation. i have not. i do try to remember that there is like, you know, every time the train hits someone that is like a human being losing their life.
1:32:26 i do also, like not to be overconfident, but if i died in a train related accident, it's 100% going to be a passenger train derailing. i am not going to get my car hit by a train. the things come down and say, don't go. the things come down and say, don't go. the lights stay flashing and you don't go. and then as i feel like as long as you don't go,
1:32:57 you're gonna be totally fine, man. what else we got? i love this. i mean that looks actually perfect. six, seven, two. was ultimate frisbee a sport when you were a kid or is it a recent invention? it was not.
1:33:25 it was a thing. the last time i played ultimate was in my, like the last week of my first year in university when i was still in the dorms. we set up like an ultimate game, which is to say that it was both a thing that existed but also not a sport as you would call it today.
1:33:49 like there was no, at least where i lived, there was no like governing body or like formal what a fucking shot bro. or like formal organization. it was not the sort of thing where you would be like i'm going to join an ultimate league. it would be like hey we have a frisbee let's get like 10 people together and play ultimate. can i say by the way w maybe i should just keep them on but i don't know if you can see i have little stickers behind my ears
1:34:16 i don't know if it was them or it was the herbal gravel i took. absolutely no problems with mecha chameleon today. what are the stickers? they have like, i mean ricky said bergamot oil. he was pretty close. they do have like safflower oil and some kind of like cinnamon or something on them.
1:34:36 just some smells i guess that you know can either make you not get motion sick when you play video games or alternatively calm down your cat when they're feeling a little anxious.
1:34:46 oh, so they do nothing? i'd be happy to have some real medicine, but the canadian government keeps taking all the medicines that work and banning them. the motion sickness patch that has a medical ingredient used to be sold in canada, but has since been banned. but if you want a little five hour energy that kills you, which by the way, can i say not to make it political, i do support the right to die with dignity.
1:35:13 i'm not gonna let myself get one shot psychically into hating it because of the fact that i can't get real medicine, but it would be nice if we could have the real medicine and the cocktail that allows you to die with dignity when the time comes.
1:35:27 bgh doctor on his 14th hour just offering me maids so he can get rid of me. okay, but there might be some truth to that. i'm not saying they're saying drink this and get out of the office, but every job you get to the end of the day some days and you're like, fuck this shit, man. i'm watching the clock. it is kind of crazy to think of a doctor who you finally get to see after
1:35:49 you know, i've been waiting for this appointment for eight months and then they're like, oh, i slept bad last night. let me get this motherf... let's finish this one up quick so i can get home and take a nap. you booked your appointment for like december 1st back in march or something like that, but doc got a 41 sleep. it's just human. it's human. doc got a 41 sleep score and he's
1:36:12 i mean, he's feeling a little groggy, which is why, and i don't necessarily know all of the ramifications of this, but i seriously think we should graduate like four times as many motherfucking doctors, because you can't see a motherfucking doctor. and i know you're already saying some of the doctors we have are already bad. yeah, but like there's a lot of smart motherfuckers who like tried to get into medical school and then were like, oh, i can't do it. i'm just going to do something else now. we need more. we need more doctors.
1:36:40 i feel like why don't they just like triple the size of the med school class or something? i don't understand. they already are fucking double it, man. double it. that's what they did with pharmacists and look at them now. i have no problem with the pharmacists, bro, because the pharmacists are now doctors in bc. like now the doctors tell you not to go to the doctor when you're sick. they tell you to go to the pharmacist and the pharmacist will give you medicine. i'm not crashing out at everyone in this tournament, okay?
1:37:09 but we've played one game of mahjong and people are like, well someone is saying they're feeling sick which is fine, but like there are people that are like can we get a short break? we played one game of mahjong. have it on good authority that everyone in the odyssey talks like i can't let you get close. if that's true, i'll make time to go see it.
1:37:31 except if the sirens say that, that is not... i'm gonna be leaving a one star review because that's not historically accurate. the sirens want you to get close. they want you to get so close that you, um... you dash your ship on the rocks. what do the sirens sing in oh brother where art thou? oh lord won't you come on down down to the place where the pony gone oh go to sleep you little baby, that's it, yeah.
1:38:01 ah shit. what's going on? it's old brother where art thou, man. album of the year 2000. the sloppy toppy boys. i went down to old kentucky
1:38:33 place where i was born and raised kinda hit that. one theory i have about myself, i listen to so much country music as a kid that i actually know how to sing but i can only do it if i put a twang on it. like my brain got trained on country music data so it can only replicate good singing in the country twang. fuck it, ron me. mother fucker.
1:39:05 motherfucker, ricci tagnio, doodora, acedora type shit with an uradora. oh my, oh my god! i'm in hell, bro! hitting the yodel kid a little bit. okay, but no joke, the shit they had mitch mcconnell wearing in that picture, he was giving mason ramsey. he was going, lord, i don't know what to do. all i do is sit and cry. oh lord, that last gone day she said goodbye.
1:39:36 i'm nobody's sugar daddy now. she do me she i want to see that motherfucker yodel. that's proof of life for me i want to see him yodeling in an arkansas walmart when she called me sweet daddy it's a beautiful dream don't worry one han will bring it back bro. this ain't a one han hand. okay, this is well right now it's a zero han hand because i have no yaku. oh
1:40:03 oh shit, i have no yaku. wait, that's because i gotta discard so much shit, man. i'm fucking fucked, dude! why did i bomb that shit? just deal in? it doesn't end when you get zero. well, even if i knew how to just deal in, just dealing in doesn't ahhh! that was the only thing worse than a rounder, that was a sumo, bro!
1:40:28 looks like a bird. chun? what the hell is chun, man? just closed hand? 400 points for that? daegu's so nice. they got some high quality apples too. also one of the best places in korea to hear this song. happy happy, i'ma...
1:40:53 i got out a few, probably like eight months before gangnam style came out which was a huge boost for me. motherfucker. all i had to deal with was that fuck ass, uh, ame, ame, ame, ame americano.
1:41:20 i only had to hear that 25 times a day instead of hearing gangnam style. i would have to imagine a thousand times a day in the summer of 2012.
1:41:33 no, just so you know, they do not play gangnam style on the disney cruise. and i think the reason they don't do it is because it has a little too much humanity in it because he's expressing the human emotion of horniness when he says, hey, sexy lady. they only play songs that were like written by a robot to pacify all of the animus that lives within all of us, all of the human qualities that keep us connected like to the earth.
1:42:02 instead of just abstracting as beings that are like, i'm here to party, i'm here to have one to two cocktails and just dance to waka waka, this time for africa. we live in a crazy world, caught in the rat race. give me the ishow speed world cup 26 song, where he just lists out all the countries that are in the world cup. give me that over waka waka, any day of the damn week. my friend has a grant funded lab, academic lab job.
1:42:30 yet i keep seeing steam notifications, he's playing slay the spire 2 midday. should we take more funding from schools? umm... no, we should give them more funding because slay the spire 2 is... isn't it 40 bucks? that's pretty expensive, man. having a friend on steam who i have known since i was like 14 but he works a traditional job is radicalizing me that streaming is real work.
1:42:56 because like literally i will sometimes just see him boot up factorio at like 10 a.m. and then at like 1 p.m. he'll boot up like satisfactory. i don't know i guess there's a part of me that's like maybe he's like prototyping some shit for his real job, but i'd be surprised man. here i am putting seven hours of rimworld down on my real job. seven hours of rimworld a day? i'm not even doing that on my streaming job, man.
1:43:24 literally, i also think that's awesome for you. i'm not gonna say like, no you should send more emails. i fucking hate getting emails from people who work normal jobs. because almost every single one of them is either, give me some shit, give me some documents or something like that. or give me some money.
1:43:41 i don't want an email with either of those. just leave me alone. and that is the other crazy thing is that as he moves up in the company, the factorial hours climb up higher and higher, man. when he first got the job like, you know, 12 years ago, none factorial. you'd be like, how are you doing? he'd be like, i'm busy. work's been tough lately.
1:44:02 now he's in a job where he mostly instead of deal doing the work he manages the people who do the work which apparently mostly is done through a piece of software called factorio i guess 48 hours from a flight the app tries to get you to check in what's up with that? brother if you just got the email check in as fast as you can because there are gonna be some motherfuckers on there. i literally
1:44:24 and i know chiblee does this. this is like the one thing that i actually take issue with chiblee doing and i think is not cool. stop booking the middle seat on airplanes hoping that nobody takes the window in the aisle and then you get the whole row to yourself. it's not 2010. you are not getting the whole row to yourself, okay? the whole fucking airplane is full
1:44:46 on every single flight. stop doing that. every single flight, they have an announcement that's like, we accidentally sold too many tickets for the plane. that's good tech. no, it's not. because here's what happens. and i guess it is like, you know, this is like, wait, wait, wait, one second. i got to see this. okay. i guess, oh, i'm back! i'm revitalized, bro.
1:45:24 the fucking gate agent just puts my family of three with my loud ass five year old sitting around you anyway. so i'm just saying there's no freedom because i'm gonna be like do you want to trade can we have the middle seat and then you're gonna go yeah because you don't want to have to sit between me and my five year old. every single flight i gotta look at some like a 28 year old that's got the fucking they already got the neck pillow the noise canceling headphones on they're already hugging the plushie and i gotta go is it possible that
1:45:52 you don't want to sit next to this five year old kid who's gonna be bugging you for the whole flight and i could sit next to them instead and also you could have an aisle seat? and they gotta pack up all their shit. pissing me off, man. but i will say if you want... this is morally pure because it's getting back at the airline not trying to fuck the other passengers up. you should never pay for a checked bag. if your bag will fit in the overhead, you should always try to carry it on. because the worst case scenario, they'll check it for free instead of charging you 50 bucks.
1:46:24 literally, i'm not gonna pay $50 for a checked bag ever because sometimes you try to get on the airplane and they force you to check it for free. so of course i'm not gonna do that. my coworker missed his flight because he showed up at the airport 15 minutes before the gate closed. his tesla uber driver said he wasn't gonna make it with his charge. he had to stop and charge for 10 minutes. that's really, really good.
1:46:47 because then we probably had to hit the airport and then charge on the way back too. that's just poor time management, man. or unless, because sometimes they like share the, there's like a model three uber car share service that one of the drivers was telling me about. imagine getting your loaner model three and the last student didn't charge it up for you, man. that's fucked up. can you guys just deal in? i've dealt in like five times. it's your turn.
1:47:16 i did richi so early. there's no way you know what i have and you're dodging it. it's not possible. come on. come on. give me something. give me something. don't just fold it. give me something. oh, they gave me something. they gave me a little something something. a little richi with the hutei ryu and the three i'm back baby! i'm back!
1:47:53 do your nuts get numb on the pallet on? i find i can't ride for more than 30 minutes before numbnuts. not the nuts, but the tip of the penis does sometimes get a little numb, a little cool to the touch. and that's where you've either got to stand up. huge. you got to stand up for like a minute and just bang on the pedals out of the saddle.
1:48:18 or you could also reach into the cycling attire and do a little, you know, as long as you say, that means you're not playing with yourself. that means you're safely adjusting the position of your penis so that it doesn't eventually stop working because you've restricted its blood flow.
1:48:35 cycling clothes are a game changer. you know why cycling is a pure sport? if you're going to the gym to lift weights and you put on cool weightlifting clothes, tight black shirt, like black athletic pants, you already look jacked. but if you're a good cyclist and you put on a cycling bib, you look fatter.
1:48:52 that is why it's spiritually pure to be a cyclist. the attire that you use to make the sport more comfortable actually makes it look like you don't work out. whereas most athletic wear makes you look like you work out even if you don't work out.
1:49:09 can we please get a peloton stream? i actually think it would be so awesome for april fools one year to post a 90 minute peloton ride as if i'm an instructor and then an accompanying spotify playlist and actually teach the ride. the problem is, and i'm still figuring this out, i don't know how to do it without touching my penis during the ride. because over the course of a 90 minute ride, i have to touch my penis to adjust its position at least three times.
1:49:38 because it gets into a position where it's rubbing against something or the blood flow is not in a good spot and i gotta kinda like pull on my bib a little bit. privacy curtain? yeah, like brrrr brrr brrr brrr.
1:49:51 but oh, but i and someday because i've spent a lot of time on the bike i'm thinking about how do you open it? one thing i would i've got some moves i would love to do. one is make you pedal fucking hard during gloria by patti smith and then during the part where it seems like the song is going to end be like like count them down as if they're about to get to a rest and then she goes jesus died for somebody sins but not mine and then you go just kidding motherfucker
1:50:22 120 cadence! cause she buggin' ttttttt cause she brings it back, bro. she brings it back. and then when everyone's, yeah, everyone's looking down at their feet and i'm frantically adjusting the position of my penis. sumoooooo! ahhhhh! it comes from the land of the rich, he's sumo and he ooh hoo! gloria! g l o r i a, gloria!
1:51:02 now we're fucking talking bro! i'm ryan letourneau, you're locked and loaded for your 120 minute pavement ride. click your heels into the pedals, the knob in between your legs, turn it to the right when you want more resistance, turn it to the left when you want less.
1:51:19 oh, ronnie! i just have to figure out the sequencing for my 60 minute steely dan ride. one thing's for sure, you're gonna be busting your fucking ass to, i mean for asia, you're gonna be busting your fucking ass. just what do you, it feels like you gotta start with black cow, cause it's track one. but i also, i kind of feel like night by night.
1:51:50 would be such a peak like warm up song to get you in the right headspace for a 45 minute steely dan ride. and then the cool down, not a cool down maybe but a little break in the middle, it's gotta be any major dude will tell ya. when the demon is at your door, in the morning he won't be there no more. yeah, yeah, yeah, in the morning he won't be there no more. but he's gonna be here for the next song cause get ready, it's asia!
1:52:21 eight minutes, 175 cadence, 92 resistance. and sneakers and a pinata, my friend. we have to stay concealed. even though that's a door, we have to stay concealed to keep our yakuman chance. a guy like me, i don't get a lot of yakuman chances, okay? this is a big deal for a guy like me. scooby doo, scooby doo with the yakuman too.
1:53:09 the baimon, the nl baimon to go to 49,200. now it's not a yakubah, but it's a pretty big hand. that's a pretty big hand. that's right. i did not have learning. that might be the correct phrase by the way. sometimes you put it back into english. doesn't seem to make any sense. what the fuck do you mean so long?
1:53:39 if you want to say so long in chinese, you say walk slow. it actually sounds like an insult. if you said that shit to me in english in america, i would be pissed off. i'd be fucking pissed off if you said, you know, manzou. i finished my first mandarin lesson today. hey, be real with me, spinny boy. when the teacher said, why do you want to learn mandarin? what did you say? because i know you didn't say, i've been watching a streamer who's been learning mandarin and i've been trying to keep up.
1:54:06 90% of our trade is with china. it's just good business. our trade is in your company or our country. wait, no, i just remembered. spinny boy, do you live in a country that's been cut off from the western banking system? you don't have to answer that. yes, sir. the uk. i didn't know that, i think. i didn't know that.
1:54:34 okay, that's fucking funny. i'm sorry, but that is, that is fucking funny. message that said, i almost got cut off from life too by american bombs. holy shit. honestly, one of the craziest messages ever written in chat, but also god bless. holy cow.
1:54:56 were any of you hanging out in olympic village playing pokemon go yesterday for pokemon go fest? yeah? yes, dude, yes. my friend was, yeah, for like an hour. why the fuck didn't you say hi, bro? i was walking through creekside community center en route to the aqua bus so i could take my kid to granville island. 15,000 nerds! as far as the eye can see!
1:55:20 not a single person recognized me? this is how i find out i'm falling off? that many nerds and not a single person says, hey, has anyone ever told you you look like a youtuber? the nerd phenotype is shifting. i don't know, man. they were all dressed like their favorite pokemon trainer. by the way, they all have the same favorite pokemon trainer, ash ketchum. i mean, the lines are really helpful. i can't deny it.
1:55:46 can't deny it, you might as well embrace it. so go easy, or leave me. it's some 41 in disc golf. that is a crazy pairing bro. that would be awesome.
1:56:03 that would be a fucking afternoon. cause i'm in too deep and i'm trying to keep all the calm in my head instead of going under again. instead of going... bang, baby! bringing me back to the fifth grade? damn, what's it like to be young? that song came out when i was in the eighth grade. bo burnham shit. oh, what am i what is that?!
1:56:46 too late fumbled? i mean that's one way to describe what just happened. boo go dr. pepper zero. i actually, i can't wait till the mandarin gets good enough that i can just start putting the english in the sentence and people will know what i mean. cause the code switch from the tonal mandarin to the completely flat like, oh, what's showing out dr. pepper zero. oh.
1:57:19 what do the tongue what does the tongue was shang? can on whoa, huh? tied to dr. pepper zero it's starting to get kind of kind of good right librarian you like it you like it. it's starting to get good doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
1:58:07 oh, now we're talking. you know what i'm losing it? me at friday night magic waiting for the two new players to take their turn. it's been 45 minutes and they're gonna go to points anyway. go to turns anyway. murph folk deck in a ziploc bag. dan go to jail and interview inmates. man, that would be good. i would love dan.
1:58:49 i would love for dan to go to jail and interview the inmates. i can't fathom watching that. it'd be better than watching him play star fox. he's getting shanked. okay, first off, just because there's a person in jail doesn't mean they're gonna kill anybody who crosses their path, okay? that's insane. secondly, i'm sure they would be restrained with manacles to the table or maybe it would be like between the bars or something like that.
1:59:16 they would, or maybe they would, they would be wheeled out on some kind of hand truck with like a full mask on. i thought you meant he gets incarcerated. oh, like an undercover boss type situation where like the warden becomes an inmate and sees if his prison sucks. the undercover warden when the inmates start banging on the table and saying we should, we should start a riot. yeah, yeah, yeah. or
1:59:45 the comment card boxes in the in the mess hall we should stuff our comments into the comment card box in the mess hall that would show them
2:00:10 oh, charlie horace, charlie horace, oh god. okay. i was overacting at first, but that's actually a really bad one. now for about two seconds, that was indescribable torture. that got really bad. it's okay now. this is safe.
2:00:38 we made it. we locked in our score. that's you. honestly, this score and not throwing our next game probably locks us in for another week. especially because we fucking fucked up the other people at our table. holy shit. we just started south 1. 25 minutes max. all right. let me send an email.
2:01:07 thanks for your email and sorry again for the short notice i'm getting i mean, this is crazy but like i'm literally typing i'm getting waylaid at work right now and with no space between way and laid so you know, i'm not bragging. let's put it that way maybe i should change my grammarly is telling me to change my verbiage here. oh
2:01:34 i'm going to be later than i thought leaving the office tonight. don't want to drive like an asshole. don't want to risk overrunning the appointment by even longer. so sorry. let me know if this works.
2:02:03 i am at present unrealistically in love with the idea of disc golfing. like there's no way it could possibly stand up to the image of disc golf that i've created in my head. i'm going to be having the greatest golf round of my life. here's how it's actually going to go down. i'm going to be trying to line up a throw and then one person is going to go, hey man, do you mind if me and my friends play through? and i'm going to go fuck this game. stupid ass motherfucking asshole magnet game.
2:02:35 play through? motherfucker? okay, so i guess i'm just like a piece of shit to you or whatever. i guess i'm like not worth anything, like i'm lower than dirt to you. i think we make this. oh! i should have taken some off of it. still, we birdie that. i'd like to switch to a backhand please. there you go. and then i'd like to... and then one of these. and then just on the lighter side.
2:03:19 okay, that was fucking cinema! i had to make 17 adjustments to get that putt to go. that was the greatest demonstration of disc golf skill i've ever put on screen. why do you only play games where the main character looks like you? okay, buddy. there's a character creator in the game, okay? ah, shit. this wasn't an out of the box character, okay? this is a i made this guy. motherfucker!
2:03:44 normal golf game? yeah, yeah, yeah. he the guy in normal golf game actually does look a lot like me. have you seen the leaderboard drama in this? people got too much damn time? i i've not seen the drama. does it involve sam r. disc golf? it does? sam, are you here to defend yourself from from these accusations? china was cooking when they made one time zone? no, they weren't, man. i bet that shit sucks ass if you live on, like,
2:04:17 the far west coast of china. is it still called the coast? i guess not, but... i bet your ass waking up at 6am like, what the fuck? it's like the... it's dark as fuck, man! dark as fuck. now i'm shadow freezing my fucking hut. why is that so funny? fuck ass. himalayas casting a shadow over top of my damn hut. motherfucker, man. that's good, i only wanted 15% power bonus.
2:04:55 told you. as i hit enter to make this game my category, sam r has already typed 47 messages in chat. good to know he's made himself known across the board. now you're breaking my heart because i thought sam r was a northernlion viewer who was just really good at disc golf. now that i find out they're going around to all the disc golf channels, i don't feel special anymore. go over the branch. over the branch. oh! okay, that's kind of...
2:05:33 no! that's kind of awesome. that was kind of an awesome shot. you're telling me he was just stream sniping just to stream snipe. he has multiple acing on streamers videos. okay, that's kind of beast mode though. that's kind of awesome. let it be known that i do support that. the bad boy of disc golf. do you know the other thing i'm going to call it? i don't know what i'm calling.
2:06:06 but i think we should all get into bandy. it's played on ice on a big ass ice rink with 11 people per side. they have sticks and a round ball and it looks fucking peak but literally they only put it on the tv in kazakhstan, russia, sweden and finland so i've never actually seen it played but the pictures on wikipedia actually look like a meme edit.
2:06:29 and there are games at the world championship where like a team will lose 34 to 0. so it's like soccer or hockey if you could score 34 goals. is this the picture i think it is, librarian? yep, that's the one. it looks like a meme image of a goalie. like this looks like something that would be posted in like the leafs subreddit after they lost. they'd be like, hey, i figured out what the problem is. why they're saying some shit, why the hell did we draft a goalie that's 5 foot 10?
2:07:04 huge turnout that is played. they do have like 15,000 seats and in every picture i've never seen like a single person watching it but i feel like it looks so good man. also i don't know how much you guys follow like r slash uh hockey but did you see uh did you see austin matthews red light therapy sponsored post where it looks like a dr. disrespect photo shoot? the gifts that have come out of that are are incredible. plus with liquid detergent
2:07:32 you gotta wash the cup cause some soap always stays in it? i'm not washing the cup cause the only thing that stays in it is soap. the only thing that ever goes in it is soap. you don't need to wash the cup of soap because the only thing that's going back into the cup is soap. you don't put the cup back on top? of course i put it back on top but then it's just pouring the soap into more soap! it's soap all the way down jerry!
2:07:54 it's like saying you don't wipe because the shit comes out of your asshole anyway. no it's not, because shit is obviously dirty and soap is the second cleanest thing there can be. the only thing that's cleaner than soap is something right after it's been washed by soap and then rinsed by water.
2:08:11 obviously, it is an interesting philosophical distinction. soap makes you clean, but if you have soap on your hands, they're dirty. the only way to make your hands clean is to rinse the soap off. it's very interesting. i always think about what's that smash tweet that's like, you get the water from the fridge instead of getting it from the tap.
2:08:35 because the water from the kitchen sink is dirty, but then when you eat an apple, you rinse the apple with the dirty kitchen sink water and eat it to clean it. now i don't have the exact verbiage, but that person was on a serious the thinker vibe when they came up with that, because that is fucking true. in all seriousness, what did he mean by this? okay, wait, wait, i got to bring up the exact verbiage, because i honestly think it's one of the smartest things
2:09:03 that has ever been said. my friend asked me why i know the overhead it is coming. i still block low. i told him you don't drink the water from the sink because you think it is dirty. then you don't eat the apple until it's cleaned, but you will eat the apple after you clean it by the sink water. you understand? that's genuinely like a, that's a legendary line of reasoning. i'm not being ironic. i think it's one of the smartest things that has ever been said in video games.
2:09:32 it's actually like a, it feels like a zen story. like it's a parable. he didn't know what he was saying but it's true? well sometimes your brain can come up with an idea but then you lose something in the translation
2:09:45 from the idea into words. because the idea doesn't come to you as words. the idea comes to you as an idea, as a concept that your brain is encoding in some form that we, to make it digestible to ourselves and others, to make it... to package it, you need to turn it into language. one shanten? really?
2:10:19 excuse me. that's crazy. maybe my favorite skill based game. damn the turn one ricci turn to sumo is crazy man.
2:11:01 you're currently out of elimination range. huge. how about you, song? how's you, song, doing? struggling in major danger. oh shit. how about stans? no one said anything about stans today. is stans okay? you guys just hate streamers, huh? you guys are kind of like, you're sam r. disgolf posting videos of getting aces on streamers. yes, yes, yes.
2:11:25 i'm literally, i was telling this to kate. i was like, when i'm not saying that we have never done anything to warrant criticism, but when we get people that are watching us play video games specifically, and then they go, i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i have to. and it's.
2:11:42 it's been hard when i was younger, but now that i'm older, it's like fully in perspective. i'm like, i'm literally like playing with toys. like i'm gonna, i'm gonna pose my toy like this. and they're like, i want you to fucking die. i want you to, i hate you. i hate you. i hate everything about you. i hate the way you die. i hate the way you play the game. i hate the way you talk. i hate the way you, and i'm like, oh my god, they're crazy. they're insane. back in 2015, i was like, i've seen your comments. sorry. you guys want me to like end my own life because i played my cards in the wrong order.
2:12:09 okay, mostly kerbal space program was like that. a lot of the quote unquote self described smartest people on earth were like, hmm, well i was gonna say... let's put it this way. they might still be leaving comments to this day wondering why they're getting zero thumbs and zero replies. i feel like it was always like the physicists that were like,
2:12:33 you're doing great. it's a hard game. and then the people who have watched like 5,000 hours of science videos on youtube are like, don't you keep getting periapsis and apoapsis confused. it's not that difficult. sorry guys, i'm in tempie. give me your points.
2:12:51 this vid in particular. just so you know, i'm not gonna read that because like there's no way it's gonna make my day better, but i'm glad to be seen. let's put it that way. oh, is it? that's the this war of mine one where people accuse me of being like a sexual predator because i didn't save someone in a game from, yeah, okay. yeah, that's... they were like, no, i think honestly, i don't think i can watch nl anymore. it's so ridiculous. the decision that he... context hat, please.
2:13:19 it's a game, this war of mine is a huge downer. it's a game about making really tough decisions where like doing the right thing might mean that someone that's relying on you like back at your base doesn't get medicine that they need in order to live, right? so i was going into the apartment in like this war of mine which is a single player game and there's like a scripted moment where you can hear
2:13:41 the woman and a man were going into a situation that was not looking good. let's put it that way. and i took it as an opportunity to grab all the food out of the cupboards and then go back to base and save my homie. and then when i posted it, oh man, people were not like,
2:14:01 i disagree with your decision. they were like, this reflects extremely poorly on your... and you know what? i think that the echo from that for me was also i had to roll my eyes when i played the outer worlds and everyone was like,
2:14:18 because every decision in that game was like, are you gonna go with the bad guy capitalists and stomp your boot into the town? or are you gonna go with the good guys who were trying to unionize the workers at the space cannery? and i was just like, i can't take this seriously, man. i've already done the permadeath version of this. first off, those of you who are mature and reasonable in the comments, thank you so much. see, you can see
2:14:43 me getting like radicalized in real time against the youtube commenters. they had me typing shit like that. that was what, 2015? i was 27 years old. they had me typing. they had me typing for everybody that hasn't told me to die over the decision that i made in a video game. your voice has been heard. like it's so crazy.
2:15:05 we had one pure soul. greatest ninja steal at the second loot part. that person, in my opinion, that person is a professional athlete like in the nba now. that person is, they're living an amazing life and they don't know why but i do. that's when it was when we watching in france. when we learned english from watching the this war of mine, let's play.
2:15:30 also, i don't know so i live in canada and occasionally there's like crime here. i'm not gonna deny that someone's got to explain to me why the security guard at the grocery store has started wearing a bulletproof vest that to me seems highly performative. it's the first time i'd ever seen it was a letter i went to the grocery store yesterday and the dude was wearing a bulletproof vest at the at the canadian grocery store and i was like, oh
2:16:02 buddy, first off, what do you think is... like, robert de niro from heat is gonna roll up with his crew and be like, everybody get down on the ground. put the fucking, put the mangoes in the bag or something like that.
2:16:20 like there's not gonna be like a heist at the grocery store. so like the only situation in which i can see something happening where you need the bulletproof vest is like, you're like, hey, drop the mangoes and they're like, no bang. but even that i feel like is like a really, really unlikely scenario. and you kind of just got to let them go with the mangoes anyway.
2:16:45 i don't really want to buy the mangoes after the thief's been manhandling them. he's probably shoved the mangoes down his fucking pants or something like that to try to sneak out. just let him get away with the mangoes. at least someone's gonna eat it. i never had a choice. hope piggy can run. so let them steal because they were gross with the mangoes? well, yeah. this is actually exactly what i'm saying because the thing is it's not like you're going to get them to drop the mango and then you're going to put it back on the
2:17:15 mango pile, because then all those mangoes are, they got the pube sweat all over them too. so like just at least someone's gonna get to eat the mango. sumo city, here we go again. okay, sometimes you just have to acknowledge you're having a dream round. they're on a heater right now, they're going jude bellingham mode.
2:17:51 surreal being in chat after exclusively watching youtube clips? how do you think it feels for me to be able to say whatever the fuck i want instead of repeating the same 30 second tirade over and over, man? i mean, being a small batch handcrafted youtube shorts maker is hard ass work. especially because every single one of the clips is me yelling like this! that's art! art's supposed to make you uncomfortable! i'm not clip farming. you don't have to worry about clip farming with me because i don't do anything with the clips.
2:18:21 i'm like johnny clipseed. i throw the clipseeds out there to grow, but i do not stand under their shade. other people are standing in the shade of the clipseeds that i'm spreading around. overlays like a type a vaccine? honestly, mahjong chatters are pretty nice about being type a too. it helps that like, i think in the average roguelike
2:18:48 people like look at the game for four seconds and they're like, i've never played this but i've played video games before. you should have done this. in mahjong, people go, what the fuck am i looking at? what is any of this? it's played on like a special table. there's a lot working against the genuine type a's, i'd say. also like what are you gonna do? be an asshole? be like, i'm better at mahjong than you? i'll literally, i'll just pick you up over my head until you say put me down.
2:19:16 like a little squeaky mouse voice, put me down, put me down. sorry, what did you say? like i'll just do something like that. like so just no wonder they're nice. so assault then, yeah, well like, but not like no battery, but just i guess picking up another person and holding them over your head is assault. but it has to be one of the lightest forms. i think we'd all agree with that if we're being honest. it's battery if you shake them.
2:19:45 no one said anything about shaking them, so you don't, you don't have to, i didn't say that i would shake them upside down until like a bunch of loose change came out of their pockets and it was like a, like it wasn't a lot of money but they were also like, hey i need that. i didn't say anything like that was gonna happen. you have created the image of that yourself through your own imagination. kind of feel like i really need to keep my hand closed.
2:20:19 one chanten y'all. mother fucker. sumo city. so every decision we made up to this point was pointless is what you're saying. minus 48 points. either way, i will send you over to my wife's stream. enjoy yourself and i will be back tomorrow. goodbye.
2:21:03 you know susie screw had a partner named sasha sasha dumper dumper i remember her number like the summer is her and susie yet if you a slumber party but you could not call it that because it was slumber well it was more like spending night three in the morning yawn and dancing under street lights we chillin like a villain and feeling right in the middle of the ghetto in the hood but in spite a load of bull s while our back staring at the stars above talking about what we're gonna be when we grow up and
2:21:28 i said what you wanna be she said alive it made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes i coulda died, time went on i got grown, rhyme got strong came back home, fine little sasha was gone her momma said she was the dude that was treating her wrong i kept on singing my songs and hoping at a show that she would one day be standing in the front row two weeks later she got found in the back of a school with a needle in her arm, baby two months through sasha thumped her, it's like that though
2:21:57 i love who you are, love who you ain't. you're so anne frank. let's hit the attic and hide out for about two weeks. bruh!