airplane mode deactivated - Bits and Banter [05⧸27⧸2026]

Name: airplane mode deactivated - Bits and Banter [05⧸27⧸2026]
Uploaded: 2026-05-30
Channel: Librarian
Description: Full searchable transcript of "airplane mode deactivated - Bits and Banter [05⧸27⧸2026]" — 235 lines, each linking straight to that moment on YouTube.

Librarian2026-05-30

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0:00 sorry chatters, i'm just letting the veins on my head come down a little bit. oh just gotta let the blood pressure come down just a little bit from the peloton ride. heart rate check? i'm gonna be honest, i mean i got off the bike like 45 minutes ago but it's probably still in the 80s if i had 98. what the fuck bro? intense ride? i beat a20 as the watcher
0:28 at the, and i swear to you like the odds of this happening it's like a like all the planets being in alignment in tomb raider 1. i beat a20 beating the second boss exactly coincided with the end of close to the edge by yes. it's a complete caricature of what would be like a moving moment for me. now that you're fine now that you're home
0:53 seasons will pass you by. i fucking, like i won and then i just looked at the screen for like a minute and then, this is how you know i'm a fucking real one, i hit the back button on amazon music and then ran it back, just locked in on the song. the 17 minute 45 second staring at the scenic ride while the song plays, it felt good as fuck, man.
1:23 i don't get this. financially irresponsible isaac brock be like, i'm on the klarna payment plan? it's a reference to klarna. it's a reference to karma's payment. the fuck is karma's payment, man? karma's payment? song off of the fruit that ate itself? i don't know this one, the 30p by indie rock band modest mouse. i got a damn blind spot, man. can i say something that gen z is real for?
1:53 you folks elevated building nothing out of something. i bought building nothing out of something 2004 something like that. it was considered inessential like b grade modest mouse. now it's been elevated to you know within the top five of the modest mouse pantheon which i really appreciate because it's got some good stuff.
2:15 is that broke sleepwalking? oh, it's got other people's lives. interstate 8, all night diner. have i told you? have i told you? have i told you? have i told you? new modest mouse, pretty good too. yeah, yeah, yeah, i know. i'm missing out. oh wait, nevermind. i forgot there's infinite good media that i don't have time on this earth to experience.
2:35 not because i have a particularly limited amount of free time, just because there's more of it every single day and there was incalculable amounts of it released before i was even born. it's not possible. you'll never get to it all. okay, okay. yeti, you're still working on this nas hamilton bit. and i think if you keep digging, you're going to hit oil.
2:55 aim is to succeed and achieve at 19 just like burton schuyler all days in his town run the big bank because the pros is profound. okay, it's getting there. i don't think it's on those. it's not on the same level as once i stood on the shore seashells produce bells. i snagged them and traded to tom nook while my fruit swelled but it's we're getting there. please just ban him.
3:17 yeti, i mean until yeti does something that completely takes the shine off the rose, they're one of my favorite chatters. because at no point in the yeti history have i ever seen them be like, resident sleeper, don't play this game, play another game, oh
3:34 can you turn off motion blur like they might be annoying to you, but at no point have they ever said anything? i'm not gonna say every message has been gold. that's obviously ridiculous that's insane. i did ask for you to end stream for two hours during directive 8020 yeah, but that's you weren't you weren't saying play something else you were going this game sucks get out of here and
4:01 why are you enabling them? they haven't done anything wrong yet. they posted ascii a little bit. please shut up. okay, man. they put they put they post some ascii from time to time. i think the song parodies are okay. it's trust me like
4:17 if we were banning anybody that put like an annoying pun in the chat, there wouldn't be much talking. i mean even the twitch section of the discord was all just bald related james bond puns today, man. so if you're going to be mad that yeti is getting attention for their wordplay whereas you didn't get attention, i'm just going to say be careful what you fucking wish for.
4:39 they're working on second order. what if bob dylan fucked prince or something like that? you guys are just, most of your wordplay is essentially these two words sound alike. whoa, wouldn't it be crazy if instead of bob dylan, it was like...
4:57 job dylan, i'm going to my job dylan. guy whose best friend is named dylan when he's on his way to work, i'm going to my job dylan. like that's the state of the average wordplay in chat. yeti is at least, they're trying something. did you just come up with that? tell me more about job dylan. i don't know, i think he's gone. he ain't gonna work at maggie's farm no more. what about when he asked you 20 times in one stream if your ball sack has ever turned red?
5:29 i think that's funny. now, i do need to tell you it's not just to protect myself, but it's funny if exactly one guy does it. if like a thousand people type it, that's annoying as fuck, but if one person types it, it's really funny. it is not. it's a tangled web we weave because you think i'm funny and i think occasionally yeti is funny, but you don't think yeti is funny at all. that's crazy.
5:58 look, i love yeti. i think he's kind of funny. it pisses me off and also causes me to have serious imposter syndrome when you guys are like, nl is my favorite streamer. and then you're like, my favorite movie is the animated how to train your dragon. and you're like, i mean, if you're like 15, that's fine.
6:16 but if you're like my age, i'm kind of like what's going on there? because in my head every single one of these streams is like a smoky salon debate between karl marx and leon trotsky. but for you guys it's kind of like, you know, steven universe ain't on so i guess i'll see if nl's live today. hang on, jordan's arguing the efficient market hypothesis isn't real based on nothing at all. read a random walk down wall street by burton malkiel or
6:46 shut your mouth. you seem like a popchips guy. i don't think i've ever had a popchip, to be honest with you. all i know about popchips is in the product placement from season one of master of none, where they keep eating popchips and saying they're like little poppadoms. you guys fucked up, by the way. how did you let boomchicka poppop become the snacking popcorn of choice? i thought we were all going to boycott it because the name was stupid.
7:16 then instead, every time i'm at a birthday party, here comes the boom chicka pop pop or whatever the fuck it's called. all i see is skinny pop. boom chicka pop kettle corn. yeah, this is what i see all the time. oh, it's an angie's brand, of course. it's all starting to make sense, man. skinny pop.
7:40 r slash popcorn. what do you all think about skinny pop? anyone like it? it's pretty good for store bought, but i prefer my homemade. same and for a fraction of the price, i'll gladly make my own. i will buy it over other brands if i'm out and i need a carb snack. people, this is, by the way, i think this is good. i think this is a totally normal human interaction, but people will just be talking about anything, right?
8:02 it's what i buy for lazy popcorn cravings. actually don't think it needs butter. i feel like it's probably lightly sprinkled with crack cocaine as the more you eat, the more you want to eat. personally, i add butter to it. what? i'd rather make my own. i don't know if there's any innocuous comment that annoys me more than i'd rather make my own. opinions on food you can get outside.
8:31 i don't know if you know this, i can make it in my house for a smaller amount of money and then make it to my own preferences as well. to be fair, you are an r slash popcorn. that's true. that's a good point. let me see what's going on on r slash popcorn today. this is from two years ago. this is vestigial discourse. side hustle idea. do you think anyone would pay to have their popcorn popper cleaned? just a random idea i had the other day.
8:56 are you trying to start up a mobile popper cleaning service? i'd hope most people clean on their own. and if they don't, i hope they aren't sharing the popcorn they make. that's a crazy side hustle, man. going up to the movie theater with like a backpack and going, can i clean your popper for you? air fryer cleaning service might be awesome though.
9:20 nothing better than an afternoon bowl of popcorn. that's true though. some of those lurk look burnt. actually, i mixed the last of my purple kernels with some orville redenbacher kernels. i know you be feeling fucking pressed when you make a good ass bowl of popcorn and someone says a couple of the kernels look burnt. busy day of popcorn production and it's a man in an apron that says popcorn papa with a popcorn popping machine.
9:47 i don't know what i'm expecting, man. it's all pictures of popcorn. i feel like a fucking idiot right now, man. i feel like an absolute moron. sort by... i can't sort by controversial. what if i just... i'm gonna go hacker man voice and i'm going to replace top in the html or in the url, i should say, with controversial. oh shit, it worked. i've opened pandora's box. i know this is the healthy popcorn, but please hear me out.
10:15 the picture of lesser evil himalayan gold popcorn. stop comment, just so you know the brand has been found to have high levels of lead and the son of the ceo was part of doge. i'm not saying you should stop eating it or anything, but it's useful to be informed. did you just politicize popcorn? also, it's their puffs that are high in lead. you must be fun at parties. oh, man.
10:44 just, i'm sorry, reddit can never go under, man. these people need a place. it's literally good that they have a place where they can go. you can make your own microwave popcorn and have better results. just use a brown paper bag and put your butter of choice in the bag with the popcorn. the key is to put an inverted plate under the bag. try with and without raising the bag with an inverted plate and see the difference. i think it may make a difference depending on the microwave too.
11:12 i just pop the shit dry is totally fine. you can even use the popcorn button, man. i eat popcorn every day and i have to tell you, skinny pop finally got their formula right. initially it was hit or miss, but now every bag is perfect. what say you? hint, open it from the bottom. open from the bottom, why? the salt settles on the bottom, so when you flip it, the salt gets dispersed throughout. try it, you'll thank me later.
11:36 hi everyone, i'm a freshman at this high school. our band team is currently hosting a fundraiser to cover costs for our band dues, trips, instruments. we're selling popcorn! this being a reddit page about popcorn, i thought i might as well give it a try. since it's a fundraiser, the prices might be a bit higher than expected, but 50% of your purchase goes directly towards my band fees. well, the other 50% the company takes.
12:01 you're in for a rude awakening kid. nobody outside of like your zip code gives a fuck about your school band. no disrespect. they probably want it to exist, but not so much that they'll pay double the price for popcorn to fund a high school band across the country or maybe even across the world.
12:20 did you guys see luke's soundboard stream last night? i'm actually becoming one of those like japan, everything's better in japan guys. so he was playing vr chat and like every room that he almost every room that he went into that was like english speaking individuals was full of people like dressed as nazis
12:41 just being racist and then he went into a room where everyone was speaking japanese and was just he had the soundboard say like watashi wa luke taylor desu and then like everyone in the room was just like oh come
12:58 konichiwa, lu konichiwa. and he was spamming the voice lines like, i love kirby. do i am an american man. do you have any secrets about kirby? and they were going like,
13:11 ah, kirby. kirby kawaii. like it was, i was like what the fuck have they done to us in in the west man? like why why are all of our teenagers on vrchat racist and all the japanese people are like this dude just comes and starts spamming stuff about kirby and they're like let's humor him. something got fucked up man.
13:33 i'm sorry. i'm sorry. konnichiwa, watashi no nami wa ruku tera desu. i believe wife begins at conception. miku tera san, hajime mashite! konnichiwa, watashi no nami wa ruku tera desu. watashi wa nihonjin no ryujin desu. oh, yes, yes, yes. kabi daisuke.
14:04 i'm from the united states.
14:21 i'm a car from the moment. you may be all right. no dig on me to come along. you know, listen, listen, listen, listen, who are what? tomodachi told me our chapter or she could take you know,
14:43 heh, kitten. you've barely even had a taste of my true power. now watch this! baaaaaa! shigirou miyamoto ga boku no chichiyo yatatara yokata no ni. watashi no chichiwa osake ga tsuki desu.
15:09 i am a japanese man who has a lot of friends. i am a japanese man who has a lot of friends. i am a japanese man who has a lot of friends. i am a japanese man who has a lot of friends.
15:33 i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous. i'm a little bit nervous.
16:00 i am the one who is the most important person in the world. i am the one who is the most important person in the world. i am the one who is the most important person in the world. i am the one who is the most important person in the world. i am the one who is the most important person in the world. i am the one who is the most important person in the world.
16:30 i'm not sure if i can do this. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can
17:00 okay, i got a riddle for you. so there's a snake and a knife and a key and a wooden box. good girl. you've got to get the key. but if you go and put your hand in the key for the key, the snake will bite you. you could use the knife to kill the snake, but the same problem. the snake would still bite you if you went for the knife. what do you do?
17:25 do you want to hear some of my batman fanfiction? there's racist people in japan too? yeah, but they like probably wait till you leave most of the time not saying like like
17:48 i was saying cut him some slack, but there's a little bit of degrees to this. i will say when i was in japan every once in a while you'd be walking around and then like one of the fucking mishima cars would come by with the loudspeaker and you would be like i hope to god they are selling like apples out of the truck and this isn't one of those trucks that's like we need to get all the foreigners out of japan like right away because i got a long walk back to the hotel and there's a that car is going real slow
18:19 how did you go to korea at 21? well, here's what i'll say. i mean, i was fresh out of college, but also 21 in 2010 is like being like 29 in 2026.
18:35 but the flip side of that is that my maturity at 21 in 2010, i was like as able an individual as like a 12 year old in 1970. like when i hear stories about like some of my friends' parents, they're like, oh, i moved from vietnam to new york city when i was 14 and like slept under a newspaper for six years and now like i've run my own restaurant.
19:02 but now you're kind of hearing me be like, my school bought me an airplane ticket and i moved to korea for a year. and you're like, damn, that's aspirational. no, i didn't really know what i was doing to be honest. mostly it was just people that were a little bit more adept at professional responsibilities kind of sorted everything out for me.
19:24 super dope opportunity not not really i would and i don't say this to push back on you. i say this to i say this to save you from being like that sounds awesome. my favorite streamer said i should do it i don't think you should i don't think you should do it unless you think you should do it you just spell rotisserie roti c e r y. what'd you just do? oh seven. i wouldn't ban someone for a spelling mistake i was just that this i don't think i've ever seen it spelled that way. i
19:53 just a different, uh, brother. i'm dyslexic. oh, so now i'm that. now i'm a dickhead. now i'm the dickhead for for caring about standards.
20:04 me when i say that you make a spelling mistake, you hitting the uno reverse card saying that actually it's ableist to say that spelling things wrong is bad because you have dyslexia. me hitting an uno reverse card on your uno reverse card saying i've got some shit fundamentally wrong with my brain that makes me mean. how do you feel about that? i'm offended that you were offended by my original comment because if i could control how mean i was you don't think i would have done it by now?
20:34 great news everyone! sorry, you are now saying this in professor farnsworth's voice from futurama. it is may the 27th, it's a wednesday, demon bluff now has a new demo available on steam. go to exclamation point demon bluff, click the link, play the demo, review the demo, add the game to your wishlist. i am working with ludwig from video games and offbrand to co publish this game later this year. i'm going to assume you probably know what demon bluff is by now more or less but uh
21:04 it is essentially single player social deduction among us werewolf where as you play you get introduced to roles around the town. they give you pieces of information. you use those pieces of information to find out who the evil people are and then you take them out so the rest of the town can survive. now
21:23 what's new in the demo. there's two new characters and every new character that gets added like increases the complexity of the game by an order of magnitude because all of their information that they give interacts with all of the information that everybody else gives. and then also the roguelike
21:43 deck builder version of the game has relics now but have some patience we're still trying to make sure that we can we're kind of shoving the roguelike trappings that i love so much into a game that is like um mathematically complex when it comes to deductive reasoning so it has to work well in order to
22:04 be good enough. like the balance has to be that you can't just be like, oh, you get like one extra shot or something like that because it just blows out the loop of the game. i'm not the game designer. i'm just i'm pouring one out for them because it's a challenging task with a game like this for sure. how involved with the day to day development of this game are you? i made every asset in the game.
22:29 i made every asset in the game. i made the key art on the steam store page. i made the music. really? no, not really. not really. roanever cleared ascension 40. there can be evil twin emps. i literally made the game. i literally made everything in the game. i've cleared ascension 40. i've cleared ascensions that we haven't even put in the game yet. i built the logic myself with a pen and a piece of paper.
22:57 you should play this in mandarin. they do have simplified and traditional chinese. if you are watching this clip on billy billy, they do have traditional and simplified chinese. but here's the thing, i'm fluent in english and i have problems turning the dialogue into instructions and actionable items, which is what the spirit of the game is all about. so i don't really want to go to simplified chinese and then be looking at it going like, i just, i don't know, man. i don't know.
23:24 it would be easier in mandarin. it'd be easier because i would just be clicking unless they started saying something like, i can do this. you gotta say like you're shushing. listen, it's gonna come in time but there's like eight different shs and shays, okay?
24:06 now would you, if you have to say what is that thank you or who is that thank you best of luck to you or who is this thank you because that's like jha shou shae shae shae. that's like we're getting into some crazy territory for a guy like me that's been doing this for five days. as a dev you should make it so all cards are revealed after a loss so you get to know what you did wrong. i thought you were a dev of the game and you were going to give me a tip instead you're giving me more work.
24:36 it's a fucked up world we live in. a second slayer, holy cow. relics! executing good characters does two more damage to you plus two fake minions in the deck. devs, i don't know if you know this, relics are usually good. relics are usually good for the player. in this case, they're both bad. they're both bad for me and there's no skip button. so ergo, if you can kill you,
25:12 i couldn't kill eight. couldn't kill eight cuz eight's not evil, which means you're evil. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. and that one, that took a leap of faith for me. that one took a leap of faith, mostly because i've been trained to immediately doubt anything i say with confidence. it's luddy? lycanthrope, lycanthrope.
25:45 at night if i am unrevealed, i become an evil werewolf and i will lie. don't say one eye is higher than the other. at night if i am unrevealed, i become an evil werewolf and i will lie. i disguise as a not in play villager. useless villager, i'm silenced? is this based on anybody? like i got put in the game as a rambler.
26:18 ludwig, it looks like he got put in the game as lycanthrope. did anybody get put in the game as useless villager? mouth taped shut. i know who that is. i get what you're saying. yeti, were you talking in the back channel? left side is more evil. here we go, let me guess. architect, the right side is more evil. chat, both sides are evil. here we go. i only make the same joke every time, but get it twisted, your actions impact nothing.
26:52 true on a macro level, impossibly false on a micro level, but that's okay. i'm not mad at whoever this guy is. we all say if you're forced to talk for five hours a day out loud, especially being prompted by chat, of course you're gonna have some hallucinations now and then. it's guaranteed. bro, there's no shot the left side is more evil. it's just not possible. oh! the doppelganger!
27:26 they should have made the art on your fingers way more bendy. why, just cuz they can do that? this is literally normal by the way. this is literally absolutely normal. that honestly feels a little bit better. this feels a little bad. it feels like i'm like hyper extending. this feels a lot better for sure. cuz the rambler toe walk, honestly, i've been seeing a lot more of my kind outside. i've been seeing a lot more toe walkers outside these days.
28:00 think it's people are starting to wise up that it's actually just a better way of walking man because literally it you get your steps in and you get a calf workout at the same time big bottle drink takes me out i got a belly full of peli
28:15 i sell safety footwear for work. i dead ass have been profiling. i'm going to change your verbiage a little bit here. i've been profiling toe walkers and using that to recommend shoes and the success rate would make a statistician bluff. i literally think and i this not i'm not even fucking with you. like i think the business idea is so good it probably already exists. ergonomic footwear for people who walk on their toes seems like a growth market to me.
28:44 growth market a because i think they're making more of us and b because i don't think it's an untapped niche right now. every time i've ever been to a shoe store and i've been like, here's how i walk, everyone goes, i've never seen this before. i've never seen this before in my entire life. you ever try high heels? it's called heels. this is why
29:08 you guys are...you're spiritually pure but you're not gonna make it. that's all i'm saying. they make heals for men. this is like, oh good idea, they actually already have that. okay, here's the thing. we're not gonna be walking down the street in fucking stilettos, okay? it's just not gonna happen. you need to change the marketing a little bit. for the same reason that you guys aren't walking around in under armour shirts where american flags are made out of fish. it's a signaling mismatch with the vibe that i'm trying to put out, okay?
29:35 you guys are always complaining clothes are expensive. go to the damn ross dress for less and get the under armour shirt where it's got like a bunch of like oars that make up the american flag. it's like four for $15. they already make that for you. boots with the heel? it could be the move. i don't know. i have to talk to like a podiatrist. i have to talk to somebody who's, i need a fashion designer and i need a podiatrist. if i could get a fashion designer and a podiatrist on the squad, we could be a super team.
30:05 i'm being so serious. also, you guys are always like, oh, every business idea needs to be like a new invention. like unless you invent like, oh, i'm alexander graham bell. i'm inventing a new form of technology that allows you to have a phone call with somebody in scotland. there's dudes out there that are driving lamborghinis because they own like six car washes and a vape shop. you don't need to be killing it. you don't need to be inventing, you know,
30:34 i'm trying to think of the last good invention. you don't need to invent bubble tea! mygresta, you of all people, your lack of imagination, i'm finding, especially because you gave picnic at hanging rock five stars, which requires an imagination to really connect with. i'm starting to doubt your five star review of picnic at hanging rock because you don't like my business idea. fuck you. well, okay, but that means mygresta's telling the truth because they're telling me to shut up.
31:05 anyway, i'm telling you one day you will be buying these shoes for your child and it'll be from somebody who's not me and you will be like he was right. he was right the same way i remember 12 years ago. i said, you know how they have like little donut holes they should make like timbits. they should make little bite sized bagels well poppy seeds on top and a little cream cheese in the middle. everyone said stupidest fuck. no one would ever buy it.
31:36 every single time i've ever been to a starbucks since then, i have seen that in the bakery tray. and we were five years early to it. we were five years early to it. and a bunch of naysayers, there's probably like a bunch of 15 year old kids in chat that are like, it'll never work, nothing ever happens.
31:50 we could have been if i just that plus a recipe plus a factory plus an expert in shipping and logistics plus networking in the business knowing somebody who knew howard schultz when he was still the ceo of starbucks and that could have been us. that could have been us putting the product in the bakery section that no i've never seen anybody purchase ever but they're still there. i mean i've seen people buy cake pops i've never seen anybody buy the the little bagel bites with the cream cheese in the middle but
32:22 it's easier to order a sandwich than develop to develop personality. yeah, but that's not remarkable. that's true. it should be easier to order a sandwich or maybe this was in the context of me wondering why people who have fully formed personalities are so bad at ordering sandwiches sometimes. you know how in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind when clementines having her breakdown and she's dying her hair she says she applies her personality in a paste.
32:52 this is how i feel. this is like the male version of that. it's easier to just order a huge sandwich than it is to actually develop any sort of personality to display to other people. you don't have to be the guy with the interesting opinions or the guy who's a little bit funny. that's the guy who orders the triple patty, triple bacon, triple cheese, two breakfast sausage burger every time we go to the football game because he thinks it's awesome.
33:17 he hates vegetarians. he specifically orders this because he wants you to know how much he hates vegetarians. that being said, i think it's going to win. it's obviously, the fact that it's 71% is disgusting to me. we've lost our way as a society. i'd be like, how does a real motherfucker end up with a sandwich order like that? i mean, i'm incepting the rant into myself, but
33:41 you do go to r subway sometimes as one does and you'll see like someone be like this is my favorite sub and it's like first off and be honest with me how many of you are ordering double meat at subway? i thought it was like a niche order but every single order on r subway is double meat. some people are ordering like meats from two different sandwiches they're ordering yeah they're getting like a pizza sub and then getting rotisserie style chicken on top of it. all i know one thing that's fucking real is
34:11 if you want the bartender to hate you, go to a bar that sells mojitos and order a mojito. if you want the subway sandwich artist to hate you, get a foot long double meat meatball sandwich and then order it on the flatbread. apparently it's absolutely impossible to fold the sandwich.
34:31 it is impossible. i hated working there. honestly, i'm not just trying to farm wokepoints. i promise you this. i fucking hate anybody that owns the subway. the people that work in it are saints, but the people who own the subway need to open up the pocketbook a little bit so that at all times they have two people working in the sandwich station.
34:50 because every single subway now only having one teenager, maybe they have somebody in the back doing the vegetable prep, but at the same time, one person in the front handling every single order, all the toppings, and the checkout process is crazy. plus, you know they're getting fucked up doordash orders that are like, hey, i'll take 11 foot long sandwiches, and they're supposed to have them ready within like 20 minutes or something like that.
35:17 it's fun seeing these quotes and like i feel like i can always reverse engineer where it came from. this is like obviously a reaction to the reddit comment, it must be true if it rhymes very simpsons simpsons coded, then the logical extension would be if it almost rhymes, it must be almost true. but the logical extension of that, of course, would be that if something's almost true, that means it's entirely false. very interesting. number three, shut up. okay, she's valid for that.
35:48 yeah, i think don't be a dummy use the gemini and i must rise therefore it must almost be true in seven eight and nine there's a villager and outcast and a minion between one seven and nine there's a villager and outcast dominion and you corrupt and there's two puppeteers two puppeteers oh brother number eight slime
36:19 okay, okay, you got me. you got me. are you on a harder difficulty? it didn't seem this hard before. i think i'm just... as you get older, you realize that your brain is essentially... it's not as infallible as you think it is. and you start to realize that you are made of pieces that are like... i mean, you know, you see a zombie movie and sometimes like the flesh will like rot off them. we're all kind of like in the same boat.
36:49 we're all kind of in the same boat as the zombies. we're just rotting like at a much slower pace. there's days where i'll like be like damn my brain is like really good today and by really good i mean as good as it was like 10 years ago and then there's days where i was i'm like today's not the day. i'm getting relatively basic arithmetic operations wrong um
37:14 you know, missing my exit on the freeway or something like that, etc, etc. it happens. there's a variability associated with it. my brain age, my brain age might be a little bit higher today. absolutely. i can do this. i'm good enough. i'm smart enough. and gosh darn it, people like me. you're certainly on one today. well, it goes for the same as you though. like i feel from my perspective, i feel like i'm having a normal day. i'm saying not things that are normal in the sense of their typical
37:47 things you would hear anybody say, but they're typical within the vein of things that i would say. but you are reacting as if i'm way out of the margins of what my normal balance would be. so maybe you're having one of those days where your listening band has narrowed a little bit. and as a result, everything that i'm saying is spilling out over the sides. or you're under the delusion that the person who went to bed is the same person that woke up and that something didn't change irrevocably
38:17 you're bad at perceiving the world around you? joe, is this because i said i thought yeti was funny? i thought you were my number one fan. you're in every game. i saw you play the evil endgame with chiblee. i think i'm great at perceiving the world around me. people love me for my observational humor. i am the original baker. i am the angry pumpkin. three plague doctors. learn if they're lying. i want to see if you're lying. number one is lying. well, number one is not corrupted.
38:51 you freaking liar what the oh my god, dude, they they colluded they conspired against me you know those my mobile game ads where the puzzle is really easy, but they can't solve it here's the thing people online these days don't say the solution of the puzzle anymore. they just go this one's easy and that tells me everything i need to know the negative space is all i'm looking at bag posters are a plague bag posters be like
39:22 but they the posters who be posting vaguely like you know what i'm talking about? are you saying it funny? simple answer. wobu she may go ren may go ren she boo how ting got replies any response? what did you say american people bad sound? i do i, you know,
39:56 country girls make do i only know so many words. i just put them together put them together whatever order is closest to getting my meaning across yo blue. thank you for the raid you're catching me in the middle of a very deductive time in my life so i apologize to the chatters but also at the same time i apologize to the chatters twice because i'm about to heat with a spiel you should type in exclamation point demon bluff and go add a
40:23 demon bluff to your wishlist and play the new demo that just came out on steam. and also if you like it, you should review it on steam because i'm co publishing the game with off brand productions in ludwig and we just released a new demo. it's got two new villagers that are in it. it's got relics that have been added to the deck building mode. so it has a little bit more of a rogue like ish feel. and if i keep playing a few hours a month, eventually i'll be the best player in the world.
40:45 probably. eventually i'll be the best player in the world. but if you don't know what you're looking at right now, it is a single player werewolf, among us, blood on the clock tower. if you say it's like silksong, all my chatters will buy it. unfortunately, i am an outcast but not a villain, not an evil minion, so i cannot tell a lie. i can only tell the truth. the silksong community forgives you, i think? i mean, we've now got to have reached a point in hollow knight's existence where
41:16 the two people who have the biggest beef with the hollow knight community are me and the hollow knight community, right? i flubbed the joke a little bit at the end, but it's gotta be true. the game is in its mature long tail at this point. now we're chilling. pretend i didn't say that then. five is evil, four is corrupted. four is not corrupted. well, it was fucking one of yours.
41:50 yeah, that's why you always go with your gut. closest evil counterclockwise, that seems true as hell. you're sus, man. and you created an outcast and you sit next to it. four or seven is a twin minion. this cannot be true. because if four was a twin minion, well, i guess seven could have been a twin minion, whatever. every time i get this right,
42:28 without actually clearing all the other possibilities. it's like that scene in dumb and dumber where harry gets shot in the bulletproof vest and then lloyd goes, harry, you're alive. and harry goes, i was wearing a bulletproof vest. and then lloyd goes, what if they shot you in the face? are you dumb or dumber? i have to cop, i'm, well, i think lloyd, aka jim carrey is dumber.
42:59 i've always thought he was dumber, but i got to remember on the movie cover where they're like pulling their ears and stuff, who's on the left and who's on the right? but either way, i think i'm jeff daniels because i can really do some damage to a toilet. my homies wear the dumb and dumber suits to senior prom. honestly, to be a jock in high school in the mid 2000s and go to senior prom with your boy in the bright orange or the baby blue tux,
43:28 it couldn't be me, but man, it's aspirational. and then to have the, and spray it like that way, man, that would have been awesome. he was definitely taking shirt off dumps in that movie. well, to be fair, lloyd did poison him with laxatives. and while he was pouring the laxative in, he did go, he was doing that, man.
43:58 poison? i'm sorry. feeding your friend a herculean dose of laxatives without informing them is poison. it's a dictionary definition of poison. they didn't kill him or like render him immobile or something, but it's definitely being poisoned. there was a foreign agent introduced into a food or beverage that caused knock on biological effects. you can die of dehydration? okay, but like, i mean, you put it in a drink. he put it in a drink, so...
44:30 i don't think that's happening to jeff daniels. anything is poison apparently. don't be, don't get your feelings hurt just because chad disagreed with your take. that's, are you me? that doesn't seem, it's not apropos.
44:44 you got people in your comments of every single video that are basically calling for me to be ritual ritualistically sacrificed on the steps of the parliament buildings because you take a bit that i did fully wrapped in context and then recontextualize it in some kind of like in in an arc essentially in like a lore dump or something like that and then all of a sudden like you're getting mad that people disagree that laxatives are poison if they're fed to you against your will
45:12 when mom puts pills in your food, that's poisoning too, i guess? are you a dog? what do you mean your mom put pills in your food, bro? that's poison! yeah! that's poison! if your mom is putting pills in your food! chatter, you're so dumb, bro. okay, this is librarian. jim the city pumped the brakes. that's librarian. i keep the context. i wouldn't know! i don't watch youtube, so i apologize for that, but...
45:37 the only video i've watched on youtube in the last two years is osamu's theme from kyoko's house from mishima, life in four chapters. that's true and the chinese bill nye intro. kato caught slip and straight mustard face as well. that's a classic. and bullet ball? i've got it all committed to memory. i'm watching it right now. my point. what about cs? okay, sorry, sorry. i'm gonna lock in, but yes, you're right.
46:05 green what are you doing? i said i said me a lone ramp. i said me a lone ramp green what are you doing? crackhead does backflip off roof for a dollar. okay, but i was still watch less youtube than you i still watch less youtube than you 35 longitude and a walking that's like eight videos. you probably watched eight videos yesterday i don't think i've seen raindrop versus mike lamb in in the last eight years or the last two years i was gonna say eight minutes, but that's i'm watching it up here right now. i
46:39 reading chat for five hours is worse than watching eight youtube videos. yeah, but most streamers are doing both all day. so i think i'm actually doing engaging in a little bit of harm reduction right here. the way most streamers stream these days, they're literally doing both at the same time. it's like a cerebral for loco. it's absolutely catastrophic for your not only the physical health of your brain, but also your mental health. yes.
47:07 hey, now just had my first colonoscopy. i don't know how you went through that hell for like more than one month. it was easy, honestly. i can't take any credit. it's because the canadian medical system refused to give me any medicine. but it kind of just like just passively happened. didn't take a whole lot of effort from me. i guess a couple of times i had to like go to the hospital and try to convince them that i was sick. and then they would say some shit like, make sure you drink a lot of fluids.
47:34 the doctor i always think about is the er doctor who said, i've never seen anything like this before. and then later i found out that i had salmonella. it's like, i literally like not to call into question that this, like, this guy was in the wrong profession, but like, he was like, i don't really know what's going on here. it was not his first day. he looked like a tv doctor. he was like, like george clooney, 60. you know what i mean?
48:03 i thought it was some new super virus, but on the bright, he did understand how the admin worked. he kind of dr. robbie me. he got me in touch with a doctor who knew what was wrong with me. even though anybody here ever get food, i'm sorry to do this again, but any ever, anybody ever here ever get food poisoning so bad that you beg for antibiotics, but first you have to pass like 25 different tests that prove that you don't have crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis while you wait for them to actually give you antibiotics that have existed for like 200 years.
48:32 we could, but here's the thing. it might take five or six days. it's a holiday weekend. it might take five or six days for the lab to run the 17 shit samples you sent us. why don't we just have you swallow some goo and get inside of this big magnetic cylinder really quick and we'll just sort you out because i'm pretty sure you get... have you been getting frequent sores in your mouth? no? well, sometimes inflammatory bowel disorders don't present with that, so get in the tube.
49:01 we can't just give you antibiotics, we gave them all to the farms, we gave them all to the farms so that chicken breasts are only eight bucks each for some reason these days even with the antibiotics. if we gave you the antibiotics there wouldn't be any left for the chicken. gay jens leckman coming out be like, sister it's the opposite of liking women. okay i don't know that's, you put too fine a point or too blunt a point on it
49:29 but i do like the idea of replacing bob dylan with jens leckmann in all of our... i don't even know what you call it. i guess it's queerbaiting. queerbaiting jens leckmann. the opposite of liking women is hating women. actually, it's being indifferent maybe. i don't know. i haven't really thought about it that much. who's jens leckmann? bro, you don't know the pride of gothenburg? you've never listened to night falls over cordadalla?
49:56 you've never listened to his collection of b sides and cast offs? oh, you're so silent, jens. you've never listened to wedding in finistere? holy shit, he's jens posting. don't let anyone stand in your way. i'm swedish and i've never heard of him. well, i'm canadian, i have heard of him. he exists. i don't know, what do you want me to say? he's a real person. i mean, there's probably canadians that you've heard of in sweden that i've never heard of. they play like counter strike or something.
50:26 when your friend's australian boyfriend loves sloan, okay, that's huge. i love sloan as well. but i do have to ask what kind of sloan listener are they? are they like, if it feels good, do it? or are they like underwhelmed? cuz i'm an, i mean, i don't mind like a money city maniacs or something like that, but i'm more of an underwhelmed guy.
50:54 i smoked pot with sloan kettering. you did not. stop. we got the line wrong because it's i smoked pot with johnny hopkins and then you say me and sloan kettering were blazing that shit. but still, i knew where you were coming from regardless. wait, now that amazon owns james bond, shouldn't we be able to do watch parties of every james bond movie?
51:21 could it opens up some variety? what if we did like what if in december we did die another does not die another day december where every day we watch die another day on stream. holy jesus christ chat. we're playing a double o seven first light first. i gotta earn the number. this is the new game is not sponsored but i figured out what intro it in case you're like, why is he playing a triple a game because it's from the hitman team.
51:51 and i've heard it as hitman type elements, although it's not literally just a reskinned hitman, which could be a positive or it could be a negative depending on your perspective. it's obviously a little bit more story driven than hitman world of assassination, which was more like emerging gameplay. but of course, when you got a property like this, they probably want to
52:13 i probably want to let her rip, right? here's what i'm thinking. take the master volume down and then keep the dialogue high so that you can hear everything in the cut scenes. not because i want you to hear everything in the cut scenes, but so that you don't just type, we can't hear anything during the cut scene.
52:35 bond needs to be strategic with his health resources and abilities while enemies are more resilient and harder to counter. yeah, yeah, we'll be playing on the on the hardened difficulty. let's put it in the title so you know what's real. hardened difficulty, deathless any percent, iron man impossible difficulty. it's crazy to think this is what your door dash goes through on the way to your house. see this, i can't sit backwards on the helicopter.
53:02 i would get motion sickness. i would rather, even though that one literally got shot, i would rather be sitting forwards on that one. as long as you can still quote tweet the website's still viable. ghibli, did you know this is what happens if you don't put your phone on airplane mode? this is how the flight attendants act when you lower your window shade during takeoff and taxi.
53:44 i ordered food in a storm last night and said bro if the weather's too bad you can just keep it he said man even if this is hurricane katrina i'm gonna get you this food. chiblee welcome to america there's a lot that you can poke fun at and i would be the first to tell you that but there's also there's a certain joie de vivre and it's it's not just 72 ounce sodas. bubble 07 wait that's pretty good
54:15 don't say stuff like this is what happens to a british person's stomach after one spicy dorito. okay? we don't know how spicy they made the doritos roulette back in 2014 that sent that one british person to the hospital. rubble07, okay. i'm gonna need you to stop. because you're outshining me on my own property here. i think i have like ptsd from directive 80 20.
54:45 like just this camera perspective and then a forced slow walk is bringing me back to like three weeks ago. doubled over, 07? i realize how many awesome words have the sound of a bullet. yeah, yeah, here, trouble 07. i know you're gonna say trouble 07 here.
55:08 and then of course after a couple of days in the on the beach here he's gonna say stubble o7 you're valid for that i've been i've been shot and killed by my special agents. sorry try my bad y'all i love the smug james bond. yeah. yeah, i know how to couch. i
55:44 mmm, yes, moneypenny. moneypenny, i know how to crouch. i learned it from the best. remember? you showed me when i was when i was when i was fucking you in the ass. james! you guys ever seen a james bond movie? it's kinda like that. it's a little bit like that.
56:03 he would never fuck money, penny? they talk about having intercourse all the time. all of their dialogue is sexual double entendres. this is mi6. we're taking control of this mission effective immediately. are you injured? i live. good. because we need your help. what's your name, soldier? bond. you're not sas? yeah, crewman. in training. we'll have to make do. i need you to be our eyes and ears on sight. do you see a camp?
56:38 no, but there's some light coming from the other side of the mountain. that's the sun, james. first time outside of england? that's the james bond, all i know about him, he hacks the department of defense while getting sucked off. he's not allowed to come anywhere near a laptop or the fbi is going to have his ass in supermax. gotta find higher ground. gotta be a way over there. that's swordfish. nah, bro. spy movie. halle berry. madonna.
57:09 i'm pretty sure i know a james bond movie when i hear one. the retrieval camp has been compromised. how and by whom is what i need your help figuring out? yeah, but why am i six? bro, you're not six. why am i seven? okay, well who's running the retrieval mission then? also classified. how can i help if i don't know what's going on? by doing exactly what i tell you. yes, mom. he called the teacher mom, man. why so many minus twos from people who called their teacher mom by accident?
57:44 didn't realize i had a bunch of nerds in chad. we're on the damn moon, bro. chad was homeschooled, so mom was the teacher. also, can you not use the term homeschooled? we prefer unschooled these days. those of us in the unschooling movement, you're one of us whether you like it or not. librarian, were you homeschooled?
58:07 because you keep the, it's very troubling because you have sent many messages about your chinese teacher hitting you when you got pronunciation wrong. i guess it's bad if your teacher hits you too. it's bad of your parents. it's bad if anybody hits you, especially when you're a kid.
58:30 you guys ever hear the joke about the thermos? my buddy said i got a thermos, it's amazing. it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold. he said what you got in there? he said tomato soup and a popsicle. hi yo! you know what i'm talking about, guys?
59:01 know what i'm saying? you guys ever listen to the jerky boys? just play the game, man. what do you want me to say? i'm walking towards the lighted area. you speak serbian? montenegrin. picked up a few phrases while mountain climbing there. a man of hidden talents. now, let's figure out who these hostiles are. already on it. i found a receipt in the jacket. berlin cafe, november 17th. paid in cash. interesting.
59:42 it seems whoever set us up drinks coffee, narrows it down to about 8 billion people. that's me when i play demon bluff. yeah, yeah, i know, he's bald, okay? it's a bald white guy. i know, get it out of your system. crouching is not allowed in public spaces to avoid raising suspicion.
1:00:13 i thought we were in serbia. wait, steven spielberg was here man. that's the director's chair. they say the lighting looks good as fuck. oh shit. havana syndrome!
1:00:52 oh, i'm pretty sure like ronan the accuser's in there. just one problem, my eyes appear to be melting. i know we're gonna open up this last one and she's gonna be like, oh there it is. what?
1:01:25 my water bottle! i left my water bottle there. okay, you can come back now.
1:01:35 should i worry? give me a sec. we got what we came for. let's get the hell out of here. we get on the zappen in three weeks, strike a code in brazil. works for me. the others are preparing the final cleanup now. ever been to brazil? first time. what's it like? beaches are... bond, did you mention zapp distortion before? yeah. i need you to do exactly as i say. do you see the red dot on the...
1:02:00 head for it, right now. what? you need an antidote. you've been exposed to an nerve agent. oh, no biggie. hurry. you need that antidote now. he's running into shit, man. this is how you walk when you don't want your parents to know you're high. they should put the antidote in a fucking can, though, so when you took it, you could go glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. there'd be such a satisfying way to take medicine. here goes nothing.
1:02:34 i gotta be honest, that's pretty satisfying too. he'll be me looking for the headache medicine and my wife says it's right there. man, don't even get, but the thing is she's usually right or you know you're in trouble when she says where it usually is. then you're like, okay, now i gotta go say, and where is it usually?
1:03:13 then it's not there and you win the argument. okay, that's literally never happened to me. i open the fridge and i go where's the ketchup? and she goes in the fridge and then i go, do you think i'm sleeping? that's the first place i looked. it's always in the same spot in the fridge and then she goes check again. and then i open up the damn fridge and it's like in the exact same spot it normally is where i swear that i fucking looked a second ago.
1:03:46 what about me though? i'm a i'm a witness! europeans and gambling man, alright.
1:04:17 how much longer have we got? you got somewhere to be? yeah, somewhere sunny. i had enough sunshine on the brisbane job. i heard about that. guy who gets sexual pleasure out of searching the dossier. no time to hesitate. no time to hesitate. i don't know where i'm going, man. this is an ezio ladder.
1:04:44 i was gonna say, loud and tory. bro, it's not the time, man. it ain't the time for that. jump? oh shit. g9? g9, damn! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. i actually might be the goat.
1:05:30 what the fuck? i'm doing a good job. plus, you got corey! you got corey here too, man!
1:05:50 we should take this guy out first. and then grab his biometrically locked gun, take you out next. just hit the takedown button. dude, the fact that this is on pc means we could get an austin powers skin.
1:06:27 james i placed a siren indicator on your head just what i mean. i've placed a baby blue indicator on your ad james should help you in finding the other container you're looking for distraction tech
1:06:55 i'm also realizing... keep them busy. i want to perform a test before we get killed here. i think that when we booted the game, it caused us to have like eight seconds of stream delay because i am seeing reactions 10 to 15 seconds after i am saying the thing. so i'm going to say a word and i want you to type the word when you hear me say the word. okay, ready?
1:07:29 fortuitous. oh my god, it's like 25 seconds, man. it's like a 25 second delay. so when you hear this, i am communicating to you that i am going to end the stream and restart it so that the delay will be hopefully back to low latency mode.
1:08:13 i was wondering, i was like, i would make a joke and it would, i mean i'm used to the jokes being bad, don't get me wrong, but it would get like completely no sold. like entirely no sold. i was like damn, usually even like the bad jokes will get a little bit of credit, but i was getting nothing at all. i was like what's going on? that's, something's not right.
1:08:35 mostly i became aware of it when i called the guy corey and people didn't immediately go, lamau. it took like an hour and then people were like, that actually is corey. he does look like corey. he does and he doesn't which is why it's so funny. corey would never wear that. the hat is all fucked up. that's chevy chase. corey does not look at all like chevy chase. don't put that evil on him, man.
1:09:04 thank god you're finally here. corey calling all the bald guys with glasses. corey except when they're handsome and then calling them ryan. that idiot was in charge of the detonator. these guys mean business. they had a corey and a ryan in here. that's crazy man. my cover. she must have had a samsung galaxy note 2 in it somewhere. everybody okay? follow me this way. there's a way out.
1:09:49 away, away, we plot a course to find a brand new exfil everywhere we roam corey, don't worry brother, i gotcha here, you look like you could use a little bit of help and a hell of a megaphone yeah, thinking about it i'm not mi6
1:10:32 i literally thought i was gonna play how it's done by huntrix. they spent too much money on it to let you skip it, man. what did i miss? did james bond die? james bond dies, you play as his daughter in this one. you play as jamie bond. and originally she was gonna follow in the family footsteps.
1:11:05 she was gonna work for mi6 but in a more administrative capacity. maybe like work in the marketing department or something. but as a result of her father's disappearance, now she's been forced into the fucking bullshit. because the bureaucratic ass judi dench won't tell her what happened to her dad. nepo baby?
1:11:29 i think that's too powerful a date to release on the world. i don't think you should release a message on blue sky that says, is james bond's kid a nepo baby? because james bond, he's a tool of the government, but also the government's fucking messing with him all the time, man. i don't know if you've seen skyfall, but the government is constantly fucking with him.
1:11:55 he's probably got like 30 kids. almost everybody he sleeps with in every james bond movie ends up killed or like coated in molten gold or like dropped out of an airplane or something. they all have iuds. yeah, they're all empowered women named a lot of vagina. which is an example of when austin powers actually toned that the thing that it's satirizing is more extreme than the satire.
1:12:26 i'm sorry, but a lot of vagina is a more subtle name than pussy galore. james, it seems you've been exposing yourself to all of our employees. you think it's about the incident with the detonator, but it's actually about someone's been pissing on the seat in the men's bathroom, james. you're on a visitor's pass, so you need to stick with me. how do you know it's me? they wrote james bond was here in the piss, james.
1:12:56 that could have been anybody. shall we shag now or shag later? all right. bro, she's literally your laoban.
1:13:28 do not speak to me quite low. all i'm saying is... tasha wa de laoban. did i stutter? don't call me her little brother. don't say... don't say... wa shou ta de... shao dee dee to me? to me you would say that to me? dee dee's already little, you don't have to say shao. yeah, but it's...
1:14:00 it hurts even more, bro. it's like do you want a sweet circle or do you want a sweet, sweet circle? i'm just pressing the buttons that show up on the screen. yes. me when i'm talking to nop. me when i'm talking to jkl would make a little bit more sense. but lmnop, it rolls off the tongue so nicely.
1:14:30 so, iceland... is it really... is it as green as i've heard? ... stumbling upon an mi6 operation of the utmost importance, initially willing to assist, but then you hang up on us, go against direct orders and ultimately blow up the invaluable asset we were there to retrieve. i wasn't aware i was under mi6 command and i just chose not to take your advice. and i just chose not to take your advice, right? right, love?
1:15:00 i'm james bloody bond. i play by my own rules. up, back and blow your bloody head off, mate. ring authority. only six recruits qualified for advanced training and so far all of them have excelled. final exams are in six months and you'll have to ace all of them to qualify for field duty. i hope there's no rads or tests. greenway. training instructor.
1:15:30 missions above people and orders above principle sort of guy judging from your profile i'm sure you'll get along splendidly about me being here. you'll have to take that up with them already tried she insists we give you a chance looking at them and i'll take it. it's like an edward to get bored or the works too hard i read your file to do this you need skill discipline and above all dedication
1:15:58 pure dumb luck will only get you so far. glad we got that covered, sir. what, ryan? damn, they got an nl here. i have to say he was kind of on the borderline. i wasn't sure if he was gonna get a ryan or a corey. i wasn't 100% sure. i made a judgement call. pass all requirements for an intelligence service. guess that's why i'm here. so we drove but that guy beat us up.
1:16:26 you call that trying, my grandmother does that better than you and she's on a simmer frame. do it like your life depends on it because one day i knew it man, i knew you had it in you. let's go. don't wanna get binned on my first day. report to your superior officer recruit. imagine, dude, imagine though if you could just get on the fucking pull up bar and go crazy. meet our new star air crewman bond, so capable he could skip basic training.
1:16:54 he'll now demonstrate his superior close combat skills. monroe, will you do the honors? clothes combat? i didn't know this was project runway. i thought this was a damn james bond movie, not the devil wears prada. wonder why he's allowed to join now. you got this, monroe. i own you, little bro. that's a bit much. must be really special. well, it's not fair. he's got his watch on. okay. can i get a dodge?
1:17:34 can i get the dodge button? can you tutorialize the dodge button for me? so? perhaps some basic training might still be needed. respectfully, sir. i think we'd be wasting our time. his master's only got one button, sir. there's no help for him. this is the scene where they wait till it's dark and then they beat him with a sock full of batteries. he's not like us. he's from bristol. yeah, go back home to bristol, mate. you're a long way from bristol.
1:18:18 where are you guys from? cockney downs? east hackney? i feel like io is putting the flex on us. they had like the tape flapping in the car and now they're like, check this out. check out how clean the animation looks when you walk down a slope.
1:18:49 nobody's ever figured this out in video games prior to this. yeah, she's on the wrong side of the car, lad.
1:19:20 fast as you please. no speed limits here. let's do this. i'll come along. show you the course and give you a few pointers. don't crush. great advice, man. go, go, go! if you want to prove monroe wrong, you need to up your game. slow down for the corners. good advice. i feel like i'm in the mall. ooh, that's a nice curve. and i'm not talking about...
1:19:49 octavia spencer. i'm in a montage! i didn't real they put me in a real life in stream montage! alright, that's kinda swag. yeah, nice try. oh! i tried to get below his fist.
1:20:46 all right, so he's dead. course requirement is 30 seconds or less. get to the flag. you know the drill. yeah, yeah, i'm the guy who waves his hand to say come on. i'm the guy, i just got done painting the arrows onto the obstacle course. god, isn't that enough misery for one night? festus american ninja warriors can do this in 30 seconds. i need someone who can do this in 30 minutes while getting sucked off. charge him, come on.
1:21:22 damn, he's the third best you've ever seen. like a greased whippet that. impressive james, this was eight seconds slower than your first attempt. hold on, you two get in the ring. no, don't make me do this to corey. don't make me beat up corey and dan at the same time. don't punch me in the back of the head. stop punching me in the back of the head. wait a second, i'm killing your friends.
1:22:15 well, hopefully they don't all look like that. whilst aiming shoot legs to stagger. he's taken his gun. shoot hands to disarm? okay, that's kinda awesome. hold and press g to throw the gun. i'm wasting time. wait, the animations are incredible. how about shoot heads to kill? bro, james bond doesn't start with the license to kill, he had to earn it for bad behavior.
1:22:54 yes. are you serious about earning your place? i think we should be in it. let's go monroe! you think we shouldn't. let's settle this. you'll be dating more stories you care to share when you look like a man who's had a few. you think this is a joke. monroe! take it easy mate. well i thought you knew. i don't have to earn this. i can just get by on blind luck right? who needs luck when you've got the old boy network on your side? christ bob! what do you say mate? call it a day? ah! okay. no more cake cuts!
1:23:32 so you're gonna kill me. you're gonna kill me because i fake surrendered. someone stopped them is crazy. oh shit, no, no, not the food. if you had half a clue, you might actually be dangerous. those are being built out to the taxpayer at like 300 pounds a meal. how did you even get here? you saw me take a plane, man.
1:24:23 jesus christ. shit is staged like rush hour 2, man. it's crazy that this is what your brain thinks happens when you get into an online argument. and now we're best friends. just can't help yourself, can you?
1:25:05 i for one won't be sorry when you're gone. but i didn't do anything, man. i decided to take this barring outside of the ring. and monroe, if you want this mess, clean it up alone. all right, man, i think it might take me like 80 years. we destroyed like the whole building, man. i have to go get my red seal in minimum plumbing and electronics. congratulations. however, there is also the matter of your performance review.
1:25:40 bond is immature and reckless, guided by his gut feelings and mistaken ideas of loyalty. he's a bad influence on the other recruits who inexplicably fall victim to his charm. why do good spies work for a bad government? you know what i'm talking about? it's been a pleasure, mom. i want to show you something. does this look infected?
1:26:13 what's down there? you'll see but first let me give you some context. it's been a while since i shaved. six for 14 months now. tell me, how many terror attacks have we had on british soil in that period? as far as i know none. dead agents, blown covers? i wouldn't know, mom. also none. how about the number of prevented or secretly resolved conflicts? i'm gonna say none. countless. i need to check your clearance, sir. okay. there's no need. but that's literally prince william. shit.
1:26:41 never before have we had a success rate and send buddy home get some sleep man you're the nation's first line of defense to such high standards. we i'm dead and unrivaled by anyone else in the intelligence community cerebro, then it yeah, okay. that's that's a nice nod dan and it's the james bond butthole for our success meet there and
1:27:16 the world's first and only second generation quantum computer. i thought those things were theoretical at best. that's what we want you to think. theia synthesizes millions of data streams instantaneously to make statistical deductions on matters of national security. the system's all but wiped the floor with gchq. since its activation, we've saved more lives, thwarted more attacks, and fewer people. we call it grok. that was theia. in iceland, in case you were wondering,
1:27:46 guiding you every step of the way. and yet it was wrong. thayer gave you a less than 1% chance of success. you simply beat the odds. i didn't realize those were actual odds. we got them off calsheet. still, you proved an important point of mine. you see, i strongly believe that there is still a need for such human flourishes as heart and intuition in modern spycraft. in fact, that's the very reason i'm bringing back the double o's. oh, i heard you were cleared for advanced training? i am?
1:28:21 what did i miss? wait, he's real?
1:28:49 you don't think that i'm hitting all of the marks. but how about this? i'm sure there'll be a surprise or two for you in there. hmm. bit over the top, perhaps. you just wait and see. watch that restores your foreskin. oh, the watch that restores your foreskin. how about that? chewing gum that makes your hair grow back. holy cow, is it full? kate got me... well, she partnered with gamersupps. code lovely mom! she wants you to use code lovely momo.
1:29:24 she gave me a gamer sups, lovely momo sticker covered shaker cup. when there's an ad in the ad, there's no, it's not a sponsored stream. pretty tasty though. dare i ask what this flavor is called? the flavor names, let's just put it politely, they run the gamut. i could be drinking, you know, pink lemonade or i could be like leaking cream pie or something like that. what the fuck? what do you, that's, go check the store page, bro.
1:30:05 oh, please don't be leaking cream pie because it tastes so good. it tastes so good. give me some easter eggs. yeah, go to gadget testing. let's see what they're working on. oh, shit. it's called a weed grenade. all the fun of smoking pot, none of the hassle. i'm guessing this is more than a lamb. correct. it's also a stun grenade. something flew right into your head.
1:30:36 and that man drove boom take off da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
1:31:08 he was moving like a beatboxer. how's it going? welcome to the dream factory. it's as crazy as it looks. yeah, but that's the type of shit that they say when you start working at walmart. and then at the end, james would be like, and what's this? remote detonator? and then he goes, that, james, that's a pen. i'm looking for something called fume. you should try using it sometime. and you found him. right? right, step through here, please. now, look into these.
1:31:50 guess what, james? you're gay now. yeah. that's right. we hit you with the gay, right? it's a longinus. it's a longinus, mate. it's a psycho. honestly, if i was in a watch store and the salesman did that,
1:32:38 80% chance i'd be like, i'm leaving. 20% chance i would be like, damn, actually that's kinda awesome. try that at the car dealership. i've already got a car. really? but now you need a new one. and james, we've set your watch to game mode. you might find it more to your liking now. how's it going? welcome to the dream factory. it's as crazy as it looks.
1:33:16 first day at firehouse subs when your manager starts talking like that. we're not making sandwiches here. i like to think that we're making life fuel. making energy that people need. go see their families, get to work, get their job done. keep this country running. oh no, no, no, no, no. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, i can do this. 1,
1:33:50 yep. starts with shoot the devil. it was an umbrella and a stiletto shoe. it's umbrella and crown. we get those. i remember that you have to create a story. so it was like pistol, bullet,
1:34:14 pitchfork. so i said, i shot the devil. and then the second one was like diamond knife skull. and all i thought about was that's what it would look like if you killed someone with an expensive knife in counter strike. and then the bottom to me was devil wears prada. it was like umbrella shoe crown or something like that. i just remember devil wears prada, devil wears prada. and a home needs things that really mean something. and a beat up flea market poster does? oh, that's rich. this is a collector's piece. very rare.
1:34:42 your painting is just a mass produced replica, pretty but no emotional impact. you guys ever seen the sammo hung movie close encounters of the spooky kind? and i got it when my granddad died. every time i look at it, i remember the loving patience of the man. my first date was to that movie. no? i was gonna watch it this morning, but instead i played slave aspire. i think it might be tomorrow's movie. hey monroe, mind coming to the kitchen? coming. bond, you'll be the judge.
1:35:08 what do you say? this grotesque pastiche of hyper masculine tropes or this piece, massively commanding negative space with a quiet intensity? i think you know with the type of wave that i've been on lately, i think you know what i'd be putting up on the walls. the poster. sorry, cress. i like the explosive and uncontrolled aesthetics. it's
1:35:30 inspiring. knew i could count on you, mate. if that poster goes up here, your shoes go in your room, monroe. those two things are completely unrelated. he's actually right, though. huh? that's good. best have a look. when you're one of the actors in the james bond training simulation and you hear a stereo turn on near you, oh! uh oh! check this out, idiot. i don't know what i'm gonna... i'm gonna hack something, that's for sure.
1:36:19 uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, i'll go take a look. uh oh! uh oh, i'm distracted, i'm slightly distracted by some broken crates near me. yeah, that's right, i thought it was gonna fall on his head and like knock him out non lethal like, but that's okay. no.
1:36:40 my bad, y'all. i can't see! i can't see! i've been killed. james bond they slumped me. they literally severed my brain stem with one punch. well, like four punches, but still. we got a nutter down here. oh, man.
1:37:11 remember you're training me. you've got this. don't get killed. you're fucking dead, lad. i'm james fucking bond. take one of those, mate. okay. we're going loud.
1:37:52 oh shit. he almost gave up my back. an enemy is shown intent to kill. is it? i think i just killed a guy. i think i just killed and i shot him in the head, man.
1:38:27 i know they're saying like i got him like six times. how come james bond gets to survive all these paintballs? you're covered in blue? i'm literally on the hardest difficulty by the way. oh shit.
1:39:15 but he's not even handsome like i don't get it. i wouldn't touch that if i were you oh by the way q, you're gay right? yeah, it needs a little work. are you comfortable? thank you. i am let's calibrate. what's your name? cressida bright eye color pale blue gray. okay, that's a solid baseline now start spinning porky's crest ready. here we go. oh
1:39:49 cressida, does it bother you to be such a nepo baby? don't be absurd. my parents are serving time for embezzlement. i had to change my name because of it. oh, your mother would be devastated to hear you say that, cress. she spends every waking hour paving your way through life. i'm curious. doesn't that make you doubt your achievements sometimes? my spiritual journey has taken me to a place where the words like mother and achievements are meaningless. nothing. how is that possible?
1:40:21 you have to try harder to trip her up. ask her what she wants for dinner. tell me cressida, did i see you checking out monroe at the fridge this morning? what? i... no. bam! terrorist wind! what? she fancies you mate. why didn't you just say so? before you use these gadgets in the field, it's important you understand how they work. these phones do more than just make calls. this is honestly the talk i had with my parents after i bought them a smart tv. please pick up a phone and load up from the chemicals on the workbench. can't wait.
1:40:55 nausea, dizziness and disorientation. the targets balance. she got the bad breath. she got the damn halitosis standing in one place. perfect for when you need someone out of your way. you couldn't have just done this on like an inmate or something. you had to do it on one of the spies. pick up the gun and hit the target. it would be a funny thing to say. honestly, simple enough.
1:41:23 yeah, i'll have the baked beans. the usual. baked beans with half a tomato. baked beans and brown sauce with half a tomato and two cups of tea, mate. i forgot about british chipotle.
1:41:38 i can't believe you pulled that trick on me. fish fingers, baked beans, mushy peas, extra, a few more mushy peas than that please. hp sauce and brown sauce, mate. early day tomorrow, catch the flag at daybreak. sas are prepping for it now. suggest you get some rest. i think we made it better. it's been so long since we had british chipotle, man.
1:42:06 i have a well deserved rest tomorrow. don't you drink? i'll drink, yeah, i'll have a bar v ral. you wanna do this, chris. yo, i'll take a pint of bar v ral. you want the combo? you wanna make a combo? yeah, i'll get the combo with some walker's french onion chips and a bar v ral, please. can i get a fountain bar v ral?
1:42:30 too spicy, mate. too spicy, mate.
1:42:53 put that in your pipe. and keep your bloody guard up, you absolute amateur. i'm barely using them if you're feeling tired. well suck it up. he getting to you? boo hoo, you wanker. bond, just overheard a couple of troopers talking about the flag. it's on the top floor of the back building. meet me up there. one second, i'm bluffing. are you stupid? come on, spit it out. i don't have enough instinct for oh shit! you're in it now, bond. certainly, i know. we're dealing with a maniac here. send help.
1:43:27 the fuck just happened? bro, he's got emphysema! save him! yeee! oh, i've been killed. i've been killed again. in hindsight, i should have taken the guy out instead of just watching him shadowbox over and over. but they're gen z spies.
1:44:03 so all of the beers are actually non alcoholic, which is good! not a problem for me, mine's full of piss, mate. that's right, stella. another harry potter fan.
1:44:35 excuse me. oi! i'm not finished with you! leave it, gav! leave it! come on, come on, let's buy me a drink! charming. what did you say? let's buy me a drink. the epiphyllum oxy petalum only blossoms at night, and only for a single night. what have you got for me? there's a package for you in the gents. watch it in private. i think i got the wrong guy. x marks the spot. i think i got the wrong guy.
1:45:05 that's the he's definitely a fed pour me a pint of lager would you good night not bad you're right pretty good not yet. yeah. yeah blond salt with the upstairs bar. she got me x marks the spot she's in the downstairs bar
1:45:31 this is a like fast ass conversation man.
1:46:01 man, he thinks he's army hammer. i wanna make you poop yourself. i don't have enough toxin. james bond tragically has been killed in a bar fight.
1:46:36 james bond, age 26, died to a guy with slick back hair. me damn loafers are getting soaked, mate. big, but you're out of shape. what the hell, bond? you're fighting. it's the strongest man i've ever seen in my entire life. oh shit, he gave up his back. don't forget to flush. okay, well, it would have gone harder if he was like in the stall or something like that.
1:47:18 he's definitely dead. when you're alive, your legs do not do that. nash. you're all done. yeah. thanks anyway. what? no, no, i just came to watch. listen guys, pike's upstairs but it's guest list only. but i got the club blueprints and there are some back stairs behind the bar. how about the dance floor balcony? that's an access point. what is he doing?
1:47:48 the look that he's given us here is so good. okay. okay. public spaces are areas without immediate threats. some gadgets are allowed in public spaces. use gathered information and puzzle solving when traversing public spaces. is this like a tutorial for life? where's the coke room, mate?
1:48:14 it's next to the photo booth where you put on funny fucking hats and fake mustaches and then take your picture. you can't fucking miss it, lad. upstairs lounge. what the fuck is jacksepticeye, man? but actually, not just looks like him, that's him. yeah, name's jones. jones, yeah, gotcha, yeah. there you go, enjoy yourself, mate. and then mind yourself.
1:48:46 and then we make him... oh, i don't have enough toxin! i don't have enough toxin to make him poop his pants. you're lucky, bud. you're lucky. hang on, siphon some poison real quick. the alcohol's poison? okay, then. the game's gone bloody woke. also, do you think it's ever happened that a spy has been, like, in the field and they had to piss really bad? so they had to piss in their mouth to keep quiet?
1:49:18 like a dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun oh money penny i have to fucking piss like a fucking racehorse what should i do? james you must be quiet you can't fucking you can't fucking make noise you can't make any splashing noises you're gonna have to drink your own piss mate. that's louder than pissing on the ground? not if you don't go mmm yeah if you go
1:49:53 but that's fucking voluntary, you don't have to do that. never mind, this is the cloak room. beat her ass, price is up.
1:50:25 i can easily find someone else who'll be more appreciative of my services. god, you're serious? i can call my guy, but trust me, it won't turn out well for you. call him. who's this? oh, shit. oh, christ. could we not do this? you prefer her? to me? she's obsessed with me. i'm leaving. calm down. what the... and who the hell are you? acting all superior?
1:50:53 i don't have to take this. how about you put a leash on your girlfriend? you can't say that. you literally can't say that. that's what andy bernard said in 40 year old girlfriend. don't believe a word he says or smooth, but such a liar. asshole. if you go, the offer is up. it's now or never. your call. give me a few minutes. i need to make a phone call. it's me. he wants more money.
1:51:34 done. she's making the call. what took you so long? things got complicated. well done, recruits. extraction in two minutes. i've marked the location in your lenses. first to arrive gets extra credit. it sure did take a while.
1:51:47 i honestly have no idea what we just did. wait, the clack dance is back? damn, i'm jogging in the club. how much faster could i get there? oh shit, he's a zombie! no, you got me confused with you, lad. you're dead, mate.
1:52:15 mind if i cut in? do yourself a favor. give it up. let me see how he fell. it is crazy that his girlfriend is just dancing next to him. you're late. i'd say there's still time for a pain. back in?
1:52:49 first round on me. oh shit. he's gonna be deaf when he wakes up. passed out right next to the fucking subwoofer man. cheeky half. well, um, i'm gonna save the game. this seems really cool so far to be honest with you. but i'm gonna send you over to my wife's stream and uh we'll be back tomorrow. tomorrow is indeed thursday. oh i should tell you i think i'm gonna be late tomorrow. i'm not 100% sure.
1:53:17 i think tomorrow's stream might be all screwed up. i think we might do noon pacific to 4 p.m. there's a scholastic event at my daughter's school that happens right in the middle of the day. so i think we'll do noon to 4 p.m. that's three hours later than usual and then going two hours longer, but overall one hour shorter.
1:53:45 but still pretty good considering there's like a, i mean there's shrapnel going off in the middle of the day. i don't know what i'm gonna be like at 4 p.m man, nl after dark. that's like 12 hours after i wake up. anyway, i'll send you over there. good night. i love it when he becomes mario. his name is mario and he bounces on the shells.
1:54:10 some of these levels are hotter than the hotter than the hells and when he spins he can survive a spiny shell mario, rio, please do better, please do well don't start the singing then you can't stop. so true. when you were young you were the king of austin powers
1:54:42 and how you kidnapped nigel powers as his foe to get the man of mystery to show this is the room one afternoon where fat bastard ate you and how felicity shagwell shagged him real well to place a homing device where no one dared to dwell