Quotes about “cigar”
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6212.780
god, fuck nick and his stupid face. i didn't get the point! that wasn't even me. oh wait, you missed it. that was me. oh really? alright. no, don't tell me. you guys are slandering you. we're lively. oh fuck you, you big mallard shit. i wonder what a mallard shit looks like. like a cigar.
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3072.040
you know, someone's sleeve gets caught in like a grain harvester and they're like, fucking idiot. don't get your sleeve caught in the grain harvester. yeah. would michael caine use the bar? michael caine would absolutely use the bar because he respects himself. he's a sensible adult. he'd be smoking a cigar and a fistful of brandy, but he'd have the bar down, no question about it.
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8786.120
like the bathtub or something that could be good bathroom is number two nick all you gotta do is put yourself in the shoes of somebody whose favorite game of 2015 is mobile strike and arnold schwarzenegger is always on tv here putting a suit on smoking a cigar talking about if an enemy strikes you must defend and then like what my wife if an enemy is my life you must not defend
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1882.600
i was. on repeat. in my room. dude, how sweet would it be if john travolta had been wolverine? do you imagine like 60 year old john travolta in like the current x men films? all i can see is like a belly hanging down out of his uniform. oh hey now. he's smoking a cigar. he's like, fuck you magneto. wolverine huh? you gonna move my metal arms? shit.
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548.600
i do need to aim this at the toilet or else it's gonna create an uncomfortable situation. well that's like when you're born, right? they put your dick in a cigar cutter and then you're uh, you're not jewish i think is how it works? that's only if you're cuban. oh, oh that's the cuban way. okay, right. that's what they call the old cuban cigar. and that's why that was illegal in america until recently. thanks obama. bringing back uh i know! what the fuck obama? i think dude! i thought we were happy now.
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2724.720
you put the cuban cigar in your mouth and then you don't even light it. it's just for the look. yeah, like the tilt a whirl. i've thrown up on the tilt a whirl. oh yeah. i wrote about those ones that are just like on the... is that the tilt a whirl? the one that's on the ground that looks like the alien ufo?
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4941.960
a trombone. oh, here we go. smoking a cigar. what do the stats even mean? yeah, they go to like four decimal points for some reason. it's like hang time one seven to one percent, you know. how are you so fast? what button is that? oh my god, i found it. there's a dash button. there is a dash button. i didn't want to tell anybody because i wanted the advantage.
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5528.860
it's like those gummy hamburgers. you ever have the gummy hamburgers in your head? yeah, it's just like... it doesn't taste like a hamburger and it's not good candy. yeah. why am i consuming this? i'd rather have a peach ring. i'd rather have a bubblegum cigar. you guys ever have that? yeah, or a coke bottle. that is a bubblegum cigar. have you never had that? never. i had freakin' bubblegum cigarettes and they were badass. those i've seen. are you growing up in like the great depression? bubblegum cigar? dude, they were fuckin' awesome.
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6729.740
this is not a subway sandwich, but i've been talking about this the past few days for some reason. sandwiches just keep coming up. have you guys ever had a cubano? yes. that's a cigar. watch the movie chef and you'll definitely want to have a cubano. yes. the name of the film that should not be said on the internet. it's so good. i love that movie. let me paint the picture for you here of a cubano sandwich. is it egg? it's a pressed sandwich. no, no egg.
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7205.660
55 year old dude i would say, big old gut, no shirt on, smoking a cigar. nice. just like he has stories. i've never seen before. this dude flew to vancouver or was about to fly out of it. i was like, you know what i need? take my shirt off, smoke a cigar. it's my last shirtless cigar in canada. you know what? i respect that though. i like don't at all.
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1498.160
step one buy a cigar cutter. oh breathe the smoke and then kiss it into his mouth you want some nice hot carrot smoke don't use gasoline they don't like the smell oh
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