Quotes about “chimpanzee”
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4190.360
really really smart relative to the rest of the animal kingdom like it cannot be overstated that if you put like me a chimpanzee and a grizzly bear in the same room. i'm going out first like i'm gonna hey, let's make an alliance. let's collude oh, you know like i'm gonna be dead in two seconds but if you put us all in a room and had like an iq test i would smoke the shit out of them it would not even be close
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4212.660
you might have the sense to not engage the bear as fast as the chimpanzee. if you put me and a chimpanzee and a grizzly bear in a locked room, there is no way i'm getting out. at best you're getting out second, or you're not getting out second is what i mean. what am i gonna do? i'm gonna like, smith a gun inside of the room from the... no, i'm just saying the chimpanzee might die before you. that's all. out of old age.
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7965.320
a boner when i laid with that woman? well, i mean it was 52 to 48, but it was also a quiplash. oh, god damn it. sorry robert. how come yours is the one with the boner? this is this should be flipped. these two answers. like, this doesn't make sense anymore. the biggest secret a chimpanzee has told jane goodall. poo flinging is a sign of sexual attraction or if you can poop it if you can poop on it, you can eat it.
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3413.800
a gorilla is a monkey is a chimpanzee is an orangutan. you know, they're all in the same is a bonobo they're all the same then you say something like that people get up your ass as if you're actually like a bad person excuse me. chimpanzees are not monkeys. they're prosimines. okay. well what i'm sure they're really happy that you know you're out there defending the honor of the the chimpanzees. i'm not saying they're pieces of shit i'm just saying they're
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3442.120
they're in the monkey family as far as i'm concerned. i don't like their big red butts and how they're always sticking their fingers in them. see that is offensive. what? i just... don't talk about it. they can kink shame each other. you don't need to kink shame them. it creeps me out, they're too close to human and it's like... how is a chimpanzee not a monkey?
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3468.740
it is a monkey. thank you. if i asked you to draw a monkey and you drew a chimpanzee, i'm giving you an a. you drew it. you understood the question. it's probably harder to draw a chimpanzee than a monkey, really. yeah, i don't understand that. like, what the distinction is. like, they're all just they look like monkeys, so they're monkeys, right? it's got two long arms. code monkey get up, get coffee. code monkey go to job.
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3498.460
monkeys in general are just kind of strange. you think you could take three monkeys though? well, i think i could get out of the situation before i got too bad. it depends on what kind of monkeys we're talking about. they're pretty fast. if it's three chimpanzees, nah dude, those are some strong monkeys. you're fucked at one honestly. yeah, one chimpanzee would rip my arms clean out of my socket. you saw what they did to that florida lady, they like pulled her face off. oh, you see in m. night shyamalan's the happening? uh, that's not what i meant. i meant the real lady, but that too.
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10071.420
it's a live creature! a chimpanzee on roller skates is exercising. a chimpanzee smoking a cigar is killing himself. that's why it's hilarious. and somebody put it in his mouth and that is evil. the chimpanzee can roller skate. it can't possibly fathom the consequences of his actions. yeah, but what if he roller skates like into a box of glass or something? yeah, or like an incinerator. what about that? yeah, exactly. right, yeah.
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4267.920
exactly. no one knows. it's like the difference between starbucks and coffee time. there is none. it's like the difference between chimpanzee and empathy. you don't know what coffee time is? it sounds... it's too canadian. it's the poor man's tim hortons.
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7837.460
too much like a human. like a shark or something with a... hippopotamus. if it's like a reptile or something like that, then it doesn't feel real. but if it's like a chimpanzee, it feels real. it feels real. no, she's right. snakes aren't real. josh, name an animal you wouldn't want to give mouth to mouth to. a bear.
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8015.380
oh, wear makeup. i'm just going to stop you. that's a good answer. it's going to be an ex. why? because women don't play games. don't try to slander me. wear makeup is sadly an ex. that's bullshit. bear, name something you don't have to do when you're out of work. kate, i thought it was a good answer. thank you, josh. it was better than chimpanzee, that's for sure.
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8203.860
the biggest secret a chimpanzee has told jane goodall. he like likes her or i know what i'm doing when i jerk off. that's pretty good. i know what i'm doing when i jerk off. jane goodall. goodall. all praise krantu of the flames. krantu of the flames, yeah.
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7843.140
yeah, brothers are 50%, like siblings are 50%. yeah, same as bananas. i'm 50% genes. yeah, just think about it. you got 50% of the same dna as your sibling, but you have 98.6% of the same dna as a chimpanzee. so just put that in perspective for you. and 50% of a banana. are you a banana? yeah.
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9093.060
so, you know, i'm very concerned about this. i'm going to start with a prompt. a good stage name for a chimpanzee stripper, circus whore or banana longdawn. i want to say, do you think it's fucked up that by being so anti semitic, it totally covered up for the fact that he got pulled over for drunk driving?
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