Quotes about “Simmons”
Search the full Northernlion archive below, or browse the quotes on this page.
-
10092.880
it's very cold, man! yeah it is. got a little too real. yeah, it's pretty dark. what are you talking about he doesn't have loved ones? he's got the... boo boo. boo boo, yeah. and i think the park ranger loves them somehow. well, the park ranger loves them. they already have a symbiotic relationship. there's also a lady bear, too. i don't really want to say this, but cancer won. the worst thing to find stuck in your teeth? gene simmons pubic hair or your noisy neighbor?
Search ↗
-
10131.760
hmm both would be pretty bad. you think gene simmons has like some gnarly pubes? yeah, we have you seen the hair on his head. yeah, you all right, josh. he's got some crotch right? yeah what what what he's round i didn't hear he said i'm around okay, i
Search ↗
-
10165.360
i need simmons pubic hair one. thank you. i'm a square. a fun trick to play on the pope. fill his pope hat with water or call him the poop. it's a de poop! ask him about the his wife. oh man. it'll work man. i'm telling you we can bring borat back this year. bring borat back.
Search ↗
-
4216.780
whose whiplash man? not mickey rourke who played whiplash in the film iron man 2 but jk simmons who played mickey rourke in whiplash. he was jacked in that! he's jacked in it. yeah but he's, have you seen his jackedness lately? he looks like a freaking angry santa claus. oh my god. he probably got addicted to the juice. it happens. i just, i, the top thing that i when i search jk simmons is jk simmons finally explains his ripped muscular workout photos. yeah man!
Search ↗
-
4244.800
oh my god! look at his arms! alright. he's so vascular. he looks like a photoshopped picture of, um, like when you go to a site and then clickbait ad is like, you won't believe this grandpa's secret to fitness, but actually he is that picture now. oh, i typed in jk simmons santana.
Search ↗
-
4289.320
i don't know, it sounds like jacking off. that's what that sounds like to me. old man cranking. like if you had a title and it was like jk simmons cranking it, like i would not think working out. hashtag old man cranking. hey, rob and fox, get it. yeah, okay, rob. oh, there's a rob. get your head in the game. is that a one or an l? that's an i.
Search ↗
-
9043.740
take me to your nutrition stores. why do you have so chunky lips and teeth? that's the one thing they got wrong in the cloning process. they just can't nail down how many lips humans have. oh god! it's gene simmons! he's got two teeth on the top row!
Search ↗
-
7345.260
you know, no. i'm not gonna interrupt her, but if it was like jk simmons, i'd be like, yo dude, that's awesome. yo, even if it was my, like, my biggest fanboy, like if david tennant was doing it, i wouldn't, i still wouldn't interrupt the poor man when he's doing, he's talking. you say that now, but i wonder though a little bit.
Search ↗
-
6499.520
does bruno mars is gay hey hey? no understand what that's supposed to mean can't do it out of here his bad rumor come out it's a big rumor and that of his fans what it's a meme. what's in me? i? got a law that's a long explanation josh. well you see in 1977 richard dawkins published his seminal work the selfish gene and the rest is pretty self evident. he was talking about gene simmons. it was all misconstrued i
Search ↗
-
6529.620
that would be a great i would buy gene simmons' autobiography if it was called the selfish gene. the selfish gene, yeah. it's perfect. it's just like a super long dig on gene simmons because he hates kiss. yeah. i mean, gene simmons strikes me as kind of a selfish man. i actually like him quite a bit, but god! shit! you like gene simmons? yeah, he's a cool guy! what about gene simmons do you like?
Search ↗
-
6596.160
i kind of thought he's like the original sellout. wow, josh got freaking pinned to the top of his face. you're terrible. gene simmons has terrible personal beliefs. does he?
Search ↗
-
6612.520
i feel like you don't know enough about gene simmons. he's got a great ass though. thank you for interrupting me because i was having a stroke with that sentence. that's fine. i actually know, i do appreciate it. we've all got to save each other from flirtations now then. oh god damn it! how am i going to get out of this bucket of stroke? okay, now there's like a lot of weird shit coming up in my chat about gene simmons i didn't know.
Search ↗
-
6643.960
i mean, i was under the impression that he was like not necessarily a bad person, but kind of like a sleazeball. rive, is there a cursor on your screen? yes. also, like, my other impression of gene simmons is like, i kind of like some kiss songs when they were like, hey, here's like, you know, kiss vitamins. just kiss everything. it's like, come on, dude. it's almost a joke, though. it's like kind of madrina zing. oh, he's gonna make it.
Search ↗
-
6748.460
i thought that was my favorite hollywood power couple when those two got married. john, look at his arm. john, he's sad. it's like, it just sometimes makes you believe true love really exists. gene simmons says, cloudy piss? what? carter's? he doesn't hydrate. didn't he like, okay, i mean this is like, i guess personal.
Search ↗
-
6775.680
but i take it personally as well because he was married to a canadian, shannon tweed. so, you know, it is my business. wait, they broke up? how do you know that? no, i knew that too actually. shannon tweed, she's canadian, obviously. which makes gene simmons kids canadian, but thankfully not him. but they broke up, that's sad. yeah, because he was like, he was having anal intercourse with another lady on camera or something. oh no.
Search ↗
-
6800.980
gene simmons thinks the kangaroo video was fake. okay, well, you know every you know a broken clock is right twice a day. i thought he had a lot of trouble committing so he didn't want to propose to her and then like at the end of their reality show he finally did but maybe it didn't work out. well, yeah have sex with someone else yeah, no sex on camera to geez. it's like extra insulting if it's in the ass. is it worth it it was anal or is that just? i made that part up
Search ↗
-
7410.280
richard are you talking about richard the exercise guy richard dawkins? richard simmons simmons richard simmons fuck that was over him richard ricardo go watch the episode i have it's living scenery with richard simmons you see the two of them with robert williams. it's one of the funniest scenes on television that exists i'm not even joking are you think i'm wayne brady? oh
Search ↗
-
9932.440
like if i had not seen him in like his recent specials and then i saw him on the street and someone was like that's dave chappelle i'd be like yeah that's like cave dappelle maybe there's a chicken hiding over here yeah jk simmons is ripped now too chappelle is especially skinny i thought
Search ↗
-
2031.600
good, get him dead! wait, what? what? what the hell happened? you stuck your tongue out like gene simmons. he's back but he's like a little bloody. oh no! i don't think i was hitting you at all. hey. i don't know what happened. i missed that punch right in front of me. it's like an xcom shot. i just thought i'd end installing this. yeah, this is $20 by the way. i really like it but it's also terrible. if you're into wrestling games, it's actually really good.
Search ↗
-
3866.180
look, the sun is blocked by half of our planet 90% of the time. who gives a shit? look, i'm just tired of twitter being 10% pubg screenshots, 15% goddamn game of thrones spoilers. people just don't care anymore. 20% player unknown's battleground update, journal log entries, and 100% concentrated power of wisdom. you know that website, the ringer? no. the bill simmons joint?
Search ↗
-
9707.620
i fully believe like if i'm if i'm like if i live to like 90 or something, i'm just doing all the drugs. you think that's what happened to richard simmons? because he's like apparently i went down a rabbit hole last night. ok, so i started listening to this 2014 podcast serial, which i mean, it's i'm so far behind at times. i don't even want to bring it up because i'm embarrassed. but it's basically like making a murderer in podcast form. and then someone made a serial like podcast
Search ↗
-
9734.420
that was like richard simmons has disappeared from public life and people are like, has he been kidnapped? has he just become a recluse? we don't know. and one of the prevailing theories is that he just made enough money and was like, i'm just gonna be fat now. i'm just gonna eat what i want. like i'm set.
Search ↗
