Quotes about “Methuselah”
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6277.280
he likes to fill in. wait, who am i thinking of? pat sajak. how are you gonna do this? reed just filmed it as 180. pat sajak is only 80. yeah. pat sajak's middle name is methuselah, actually. is that real? no. not at all. you can see it though, right? i mean, yeah, that'd be pretty cool. he was born in like the 30s or something. all enthusiasm for wheels. and on a diocletian.
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8532.460
what? yeah, it's crazy. no, no, i wasn't saying what do you like what that people got this? yeah, me too. what is it? tell me tell me your secrets. i don't know what it is either. when i was a kid a millennial was someone that was over a thousand years old. it's like methuselah. that was an awesome drawing. you did that. thanks. or zorroaster. that was impressive.
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301.92
but like, i can't regale them with the story next week about how i almost died last week. they'd be like, they're gonna say get some new material. oh, you almost died? when? last week? okay. you know who almost died last week? freaking methuselah, the world's first man. it's ancient history. what an incredible gate crash round here. look at that.
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1514.50
dude, jeopardy is no joke. no wonder i keep not getting called back for my damn audition. shit is impossible. algeria. note it is now the largest country on the continent. okay, it's larger than south africa. the mccator projection takes another victim. if this event hadn't happened, methuselah might have lived past age 969. what is the great flood? hey! the only country crossed by the equator
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6248.02
20 years later, no jobs, no hope, no cash and no bills. anyway, my neighbors are a young couple from the 30s, annie and bill. they had a baby a couple months ago. the baby is called cornelius. the baby was named methuselah. the baby came home last month after three months in the hospital. my wife is friendly with annie. we can't have children, so whenever we have a neighbor with a baby, my wife makes friends with them.
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1470.88
so you should be in your seat by then. you're not supposed to be walking in at the same time as like the bride and the groom, right? you're not supposed to be walking in and taking your seat in the pew when they're playing the wedding march by methuselah. what's his name? mendelsohn. so me, if it was me, you live a half an hour from the church, it starts at 2.30. i would want to be there at 2. so i would tell myself i would leave at 1.30 and then my ass would be ready at 1.15.
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5422.92
who's your grandparents? like methuselah? that can't even be possible, right? when was he born? 1881? there's no way. okay. i think you were making it up and i support that because misinformation can be funny sometimes.
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2471.72
so the joke is like what if there were people who love noah's ark that were like pissed off that the ark of the covenant is getting so much press after they've had ark dominance for like, you know, since methuselah times. it's true too because the flood could exist to fight the noahs. it's like they weren't even thinking straight man. that was a very important block.
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5690.96
and they're like, noah, noah, take us all. and he's like, god said two of every animal. so sorry, guys. did noah tell his wife about the boat? no, he's a boomer. he probably didn't even talk to his wife. real boomer is methuselah. imagine being methuselah and saying like kids these days. and then like zachariah's like dad. he's 135 years old.
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4879.280
hundreds of people have lived to be at least 115, which is a lot, but it's very small in the context of the billions of people who have lived throughout human history. i mean, you've got like methuselah's whole family in there. that's like 30 people right off the jump. eight, i think it's like one in 100,000 people is seven feet tall. i feel like eight feet tall is like maybe, can i say something insane? maybe zero people.
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