Quotes about “Jehovah”
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6428.780
i had this jehovah's witness lady come to the door and i scared myself with how much i didn't want to talk to her. like i went to the door and answered it and she was like, you want to talk about this? and i stared at like, looked her dead in the eye. i was like, i don't think it's any of your business what i believe. i kind of lost control of myself. oh my god.
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4668.060
my dad bought a timeshare once. my grandparents were jehovah's witnesses, does that count? that does not, i mean maybe in a broad sense. but like, i don't know, does a timeshare count? because i always hear them talked about as if there's games. like, do you buy a timeshare and then you try to sell part of your timeshare to someone else? like it's... yeah, like the thing that they try to sell you on is like you could buy
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574.18
they're strays? well, they can still get rabies or something like that. it's just, i don't know, it seems like they should at least go through the proper permitting process, but i haven't seen the movie. maybe they, maybe they handle that. it's in an abandoned building? that doesn't make it any better! if anything, it's even worse! they might, uh, use, get hepatitis from a piece of, like, like a rusty nail or something like that. the wrath of de niro, especially when pitched to the level of a jangle brained jehovah, is a mighty thing.
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800.64
so are you converted? yes, i'm in the jehovah's witnesses now. excuse me, sorry for the burp. yes, honey? yeah, mommy's coming back, don't worry. mom's gone. no, i can't sing that, she'll be confused. it's a great pitch, i should have gone power swing. dad, what are you gonna do? oh, that was my hit. honey, just stay in the high chair, okay? mommy's coming back, i promise. oh!
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4862.92
that had like brochures on it and i could only see it from the back. i knew immediately. i was like, that's the jehovah's witness canvassers. and it got me thinking, there must be like a factory somewhere that just makes that
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4878.12
shelf right like their whole job is just making the shelf that the jehovah's witnesses put the pamphlets on that are like this is how i gotta do there should be like a podcast with some of the people that work at that factory like it's the same shelf in vancouver that it is in helo that it is in new york city like i don't know if maybe they got a different supplier overseas or something like that but i gotta get into the supply chain of who's making the jehovah's witness bookshelf. it seems like a really interesting
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1093.04
some of the houses growing up used to give us christian pamphlets. not my ass opening my mailbox to a letter that says, dear neighbor, and assuming it was going to be someone saying like, hey, we missed you when you moved in, but welcome to the neighborhood. and then i opened that shit up and it's like, do you want to join the jehovah's witnesses? and i'm like, what the fuck? they didn't even put their return address on it. like that's how you know they knew what kind of response they were getting. i've gotten like three handwritten letters like that in the past month. tis the season, bro.
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1123.46
who is jehovah and what is he witnessing? listen, we're just telling jokes here. we're not trying to offend people. but isn't jehovah sephiroth's dad? wait, wait, wait, sorry! it's problematic. sephiroth's mom? sephiroth's creator? the entity that provided the genetic material to ascend sephiroth? that's jenova, huh?
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3588.88
no, no, no, no. he's quirky as fuck, man. you seen his tumblr? brian is probably least likely to get a tattoo out of every person i've ever met. i agree. yeah. yeah. unless it's a mustache. you don't know any jehovah's witnesses? oh, now we can't make jokes. all right. i didn't know they could have stayed here, man. i was just taking a guess. that's science, buddy. what? and this role comes with some science pellets.
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3674.56
i think that from a business standpoint, the jehovah's witnesses need to work on their recruitment method. because i'm way too sus at quarter after eight in the morning when i see two motherfuckers in suits. i'm like, i immediately clock them as they're like, hey, you got any problems in your life? like, let's go. yeah. yeah. they got to start dressing a little more casually, man. i would tell you about how i got owned.
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1709.560
i'm gonna need to see a source on that one because that doesn't pass the smell test. that's what i'm saying. he was? no, sha'a prince was homophobic? from r slash prince. yes and no. peak era prince, 79 to 88, i'd say most certainly not. he was arguably a queer icon. now jehovah's witness era prince in his latter years certainly said some things that could be construed as homophobic. so that...
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8813.900
so you think i'm gonna educate people, then you go outside after your show's been on the air for eight years and all of a sudden you're meeting people who are talking like you and you're like, ah son of a bitch man. i'm still crashing out cuz prince is homophobic man. how the hell did they convince prince to become a jehovah's witness? justin, did you know this? you must have known this, i feel like your chat would have. have you ever mentioned prince? they would have been like, did you know he was homophobic?
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8856.200
some homophobic things were said as a result of his late career pivot in the jehovah's witness. he might not be homophobic. some of the shit that the words that he put in sequence and exited his mouth may have been construed as being homophobic, but he
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1896.800
like a recruitment for maids. oh more than they have a really they have like an army of maids i would love more man maids dude, dude. i have i have serious advice okay, and i mean this in an inoffensive way. i have serious advice for the jehovah's witness community you need to stop
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