Quotes about “Doordash”
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9189.280
oh, almost a hole in one. how are you still on your first stroke? i'm just really good. one of those claps coming from? i have buttons with sound effects now. oh my god. do you control it with your foot? no, it's just buttons on my desk. i just press them with my finger. can i get a foot pedal? i could get a foot pedal. i mean, i have a chord karma. i could fucking hook that shit up. it's like chord karma. can i order it from doordash? it's a huge ass synthesizer and it does anything.
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9674.140
austin has never gone back on a doordash purchase. all he has to do is call up the tech support at doordash if he's trying to get a mortgage and they'll vouch for him. i did rock and i'll keep getting things to do. i got a car, i'm gonna get a house. keep talking over there with your friends. hey, do you know mortgage is the yiddish word for... duff? really? what? duff?
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189.140
so we ordered from doordash and we ordered some japanese food and it came with miso soup. and we really like, kate had a rehearsal to get to yesterday so we were hoping it was gonna be here within like 45 minutes. miso soupy! reasonable time frame. and then um...
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293.040
alright, like, have a good day. go away now. see you later. go to the hospital. if i have cash, or if i had cash, i might have given him a little extra, you know, for your trouble, but at the same time, i was like, i don't. that's the reason i'm ordering up doordash here. i want to minimize the amount of human interaction.
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402.740
he did look at me, which i did not write in the special instructions section. the number one rule of doordash is actually no eye contact. see if you employed his tactics, you could have gotten a great deal on a car.
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416.300
but here's like where it all comes together is like if you're not familiar with doordash, it's kind of got like the uber thing where the delivery drivers, they don't work for the restaurants. they work for doordash. so they're always hustling, which i respect. they're like, make sure if you enjoy this, you give us a five star on the app because then they can get like a bonus. so after i ate, doordash sent me a push notification. it was like, would you like to rate your delivery driver? and i'm like,
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4658.080
so it's like a subway but it's called eat fresh. wait, wait, wait. how do you order a... are they on doordash now? yeah, they've always been on doordash. how do you get it... how do you tell them to put just a little bit more mail on it? i don't have any requests like that so i'm good. well, what if you got a chicken bacon ring? well, there's a little box at the bottom you can type in if you want. yeah, okay. well, as long as you tell us what you order and we can make fun of it then. hold the botulism this time.
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4614.240
oh, the timing is different on this one. yeah, it's also much smaller than i'm used to. soup is literally like three vegetables, broth, and then whatever else you want to put in it, and then just simmer it for as much time as you have. pretty much, yeah. it's great! when you put soup into your mug... just order in on doordash, i suppose, if we're splitting hairs. why not? splitting hairs? what do you think this is? judy hopps fanfic? who's judy hopps? i don't know.
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10134.300
why not the door always? food is so inconvenient. yeah, but mr. doordash doesn't have to wait in the line does he? yeah, of course he does. are you telling me you order it and then he goes to chick fil a and places the order and then we that's what the company does! how do you think it works? no, no. it sends an order to the restaurant and then the restaurant sends that's grubhub. no, that's how doordash works here! doordash here, they just go anywhere you want and go pick up the food.
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10160.440
that is like having a temporary slave. what about uber eats? that's the same as a delivery boy! is that me? no no no, wait. do you want to do anything? the way that doordash works here is that you like, there's a restaurant and you like place an order online and then you see the thing ticking and it goes like okay the restaurant's made your order and like donnie has arrived to pick it up and bring it to your house.
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10212.280
like they don't have your doordash order doesn't go to chick fil a first? it might. it depends on the restaurant. some places they'll just order it. it doesn't seem like it's saving you any time then in that case. it's not about time, it's about convenience. i mean is uh... can't we eat food right now during the show because i ordered it? isn't the root of convenience saving time? are moving company movers temporary slavers? yeah. okay well fair enough.
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8682.620
what does doordash do? they set up the website, i don't know if they have marketing or whatever, i'm assuming so. they have customer service because austin has to call them all the time because they keep forgetting his food. you know, for the service of providing the website, which is essentially what they do for like 99% of consumers, they get paid 18% of every order. really? 18% of every order! that's crazy. you guys should go outside. for just existing.
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8708.920
that's a hustle right there. i'm not gonna hit you with the economics of how much an isaac episode that i can make while the doordash is coming makes versus how much the doordash costs me in the first place. suffice to say there's some opportunity cost involved. but doordash is like the freaking mafia dude! you're gonna pay 18% just to exist! would it cost them 18% to have a fully functioning delivery service with their business though? that's the question. i'm just saying. it's never not worked for me.
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9894.560
it wasn't like an attempt to make you guys send me money or anything like people started cheering after that. thank you i guess i am thankful for all of the cheers that i get on my channel in the next 12 minutes. i'm thankful that doordash exists. thanks for being the best nlss guest
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9941.520
everything's closed on doordash. thanksgiving. that hurts, man. grubhub here to save the day though. let's go. no! it's not a butt. that's a butt. i know exactly what this is and i'm mad. that's a taint? is it gonna be a taint? i taint. is taint. i taint, yeah. my favorite asimov novel, i taint. is taint.
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7979.680
because i thought it was a tale of two detroits. well, i mean, i'm still of the opinion. everyone's like, why does mapquest exist? but they want pootineer to exist. so don't even i mean, we don't have to go down this road again, but you can't help but feel you kind of move in the goalposts for our friends personal project. they should just pivot into a questing site, like just make it like a like an arpg for finding poutine. right. exactly. yeah. i'd be interested in that, to be honest with you. you know, so i started using doordash. yeah.
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9688.040
i guess mad because on doordash it's too capitalist for me. this show this month has become the slow rebirth of me as like an actual communist. i'm starting to become more and more okay with it but doordash is like yeah we'll deliver wendy's, mcdonald's or starbucks. it's a $6.99 delivery fee.
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9710.940
and i'm like, i'm not paying that much for you to deliver wendy's. and they're like, well, i'm not going to bring you wendy's. and i'm like, that's the way it goes then. actually, yeah. like the first time i ordered from doordash, it was 99 cents delivery fee. and i was like, oh, that's completely reasonable. that's how you get you, dude. yeah. and then and then it was like $4.99. i'm wondering if like on my third order, it's going to be like $10 to deliver the wendy's. yeah, it's a fibonacci sequence.
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9815.800
yeah, i mean the other thing is that like the business model of doordash is very strange and i don't know how they could possibly make any kind of income from it. i know how. with seven dollar delivery fees. you pay them like 15% of every order for the privilege of using their website. do they up skit, like do they increase the the costs on the on the wendy's?
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9868.620
that delivery fee is like... that's like standard though. i mean, when i worked at domino's they have a delivery fee too, which has also gone the same way that nick was just describing. those things are going up. i feel like people are not understanding. you pay a delivery fee that goes to the restaurant, but you also pay doordash. oh, okay. do you do... like, i didn't notice that when i was using it. i did not see that.
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9897.280
you know, you're in the moment. you're like, hell, i'm so close to having this spicy cheeseburger. right. i can't wait. and then that looks like a reasonable price. but yeah, doordash, i think, takes an extra 15% of what the subtotal is. and then you tip and there's a delivery charge for some places. i mean, i was actually just explaining this to someone who asked in my chat, actually.
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5173.460
i wanted to ask your opinions, but particularly you, austin, because we on monday ordered doordash. please don't be on tuesday. sorry. not that it's super relevant. and we usually go down to like our apartment building lobby to get it. so we have this spot in the special instructions that says text this number when you're here and i'll go pick it up.
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5252.220
you know, like she's waiting down there with a pizza like i got other deliveries to do but i'm an on time person she doesn't know you. and when you, if you, yeah, but i'm an on time person if she's treating me like a late person, you know, i'm sorry, but it was my first non five star doordash experience. i gave her a four star. i finally rated someone on doordash. oh was it a good rating or a bad rating? a good one just because she asked. she said please rate me and i was like, all right, if you're gonna ask me then i'll do it.
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